The Bulls won six titles in eight years and we enjoyed every minute of it. Watching Michael Jordan give everybody in the NBA a nightly beat down was pure joy. Chicago’s not a huge basketball town, but we like winning, and since it doesn’t happen enough, that bandwagon was overflowing.
So it’s hard to feel victimized by the current state of the Bulls. Embarrassed? Sure. But victimized? You just can’t do it. Ask yourself this. Back in 1990 when the Bears demise was evident, the Cubs had proven 1989 was a fluke, the Sox were lousy and the Blackhawks were good, but who cared, would you have taken this deal from the Devil?
For every championship the Bulls win this decade you’ll have five years of the most horrific basketball ever to follow.
I’d have taken it. You’d have taken it. I think Jerry Reinsdorf did take it. So, with that in mind, I’m looking forward to those 2029 Bulls.
On paper, this Bulls team shouldn’t be as horrific as it has been through the first two weeks of the season. You’ve got some talent, albeit it’s either too young (Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich) or too old (Antonio Davis) or just not really there (Tyson Chandler and Eddy Curry).
Here’s a dirty little secret though. The Eastern Conference isn’t that bad this year. Sure the best teams are out west, but if the Bulls couldn’t make any kind of hay when the East was officially lousy the last two years, they aren’t going to be able to do it now that the Pistons are better, the Pacers would be if Ron Artest would get back on the lithium, Grant Hill is back (for now) and LeBron and Shaq are around.
So what do we have left to entertain ourselves with? Well, there’s always trying to guess what absurd facial hair concoction Johnny Kerr will come up with that night. There’s the hilarity of the Andres Nocioni hairdo. There’s…uh, well, there’s…yeah, there’s not much, is there?
The best news is that we just paid off the 1990-91 title! One down, five to go.
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The Desipio Message Board is back for a third go around. This time, I think it’s going to make it. I put Karry Ling in charge and while he’s still posting inappropriate thing in the “News Box” (you’ll see it), he’s very excited about his new role. Sign up. It’s free, and it will just add to your Desipio pleasure. We’re still going to do things the same way we’ve been doing them. The Doses and columns still go here, and when the Cubs return in March the GameCasts will still go here. But the message board gives us a chance to keep some of our discussions going longer than will here when they get derailed by a new column.
The avatars size is equal to the size of the thumbnail headshots ESPN uses on their individual player stat pages, so while you can use any photo as an avatar, those will look the best. Anyway, check it out.
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KC Johnson says the Knicks “sweetened” their offer for Eddy Curry by adding Mike Sweetney. Huh? Any time adding Mike Sweetney to an offer makes it better, it wasn’t good enough to consider in the first place. Mike Sweetney? Why not just bring Gary Trent back?
I fear Ben Gordon is the new Dennis Hopson. It’s early. I hope I’m wrong. But…blecch.
Think Troy Percival has an impulse control problem? My favorite line from this article is this (about Detroit)…”There’s always a nice area in every city, but I didn’t know they had one here.” Nice shout out to your new home.
Honestly, do we need football coaches commenting on everything? I guess this is a wrong time to ask Lovie about bringing back the Honey Bears, huh?
Where did I put that “unconditional release” form?
Dave O’Brien thinks that Len Kasper’s the man now. That makes sense because you figure the Cubs don’t want to get caught holding the bag if the Padres won’t let Matt Vasgersian out of his deal. Besides, if Vince McMahon starts a new football league, you know Vasgersian’s out the door!
Chris DeLuca is so dumb, it pains me. The Cubs have little interest in Ugy, mainly because his mother’s still being held by kidnappers and you have no idea when he’ll be back (if ever) to pitch. But really, this whole article is just a steaming pile. Don’t even bother. You know what? I’m not even linking to it. You’ll thank me. Here, this will make more sense than anything DeLuca wrote.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to be indignant about David Terrell. For once, Jay’s doing a proper amount of bashing.
Matt Mantei wants to be a Cub! He called Jim Hendry himself. He must have picked the phone up with his left hand, because I don’t think his right one works anymore.
The Roz is still all over the place. First, he wants the Cubs to get both Shawn Green and Cliff Floyd because that way you could put together an entire outfield of lefties made out of paper mache (Hollandsworth, Floyd and Green). And he won’t give up the ghost on tHom Brennaman. Look, even if he wanted to come back, do we really want that smarmy little jerkoff? I don’t think so.
The Red Sox are looking at Damian Miller to replace Jason Varitek. Miller is excited about catching in Fenway because the backstop is close to home plate so he won’t have as far to run to grab his passed balls.
Are you as tired as I am of the Randy Johnson-Yankees rumors?
The Cardinals have offered Kiko Calero, Rick Ankiel and Danny Haren to the Diamondbacks for the Unit. Given what the D’backs traded Curt Schilling for, this will probably work. The sticking points are these:
a) Calero is demanding Tuesday night’s off so he can dance at the Phoenix Manhole
b) Ankiel wants his father transferred to an Arizona prison
c) Haren wants a horse dentist to attend to his enormous teeth on a semi-weekly basis
None of those demands seem outlandish, do they?
Looks like Anna and Kris Benson will have to keep scromping in the Shea parking lot.
Steve Spurrier has an agreement to replace Lou Holtz at South Carolina. There’s only one hang up. Lou still has to decide to retire.
ESPN likes to remind us every day why we need to abhor them.
Tough break, Carolina.
Oliver Stone’s just worried that Alexander‘s not queer enough!
Gary Sheffield stands by his wife, the Christian singer, who apparently is on video when she was (somewhere around 18) with R. Kelly and another woman.
Dave Chapelle wrote a song about this. Wanna hear it, here it goes…
I Wanna Pee On U – Dave Chapelle
Rollin around, sittin on dubs
And my eye was high on shrubs
Cool up in my Escalade
Man I’m paid, I got it made
Take me to your special place
Close your eyes, show me your face…..I’m gonna piss on it
Playas wanna hate
Ballers wanna love
I don’t even want
None of the above, I wanna piss on you
Yes I do, I wanna piss on you and you know it’s true
I said your body
Your body, is a Porta- Potty
I wanna pee on you…..drip, drip, drip
You’ll never feel…quite the same
When you get a whiff…of my Hershey stains
Only thing to make my life complete
Is when I turn your face into a toilet seat
See, this is why Troy Percival should have finished his trip and gone to Cleveland!
America’s finest news source says that Oprah just lost her 20,000th pound.
Steve Finley wants three years from the Giants. Three years to what, live?
And I think Edgar will end up with the Cubs. Not Martinez, Renteria.
http://msn.foxsports.com/story/3173472
The reasons for Percival signing are valid. I mean come on, the future of them is so much brighter than cubs. Plus the city, i mean there is no way his kids could be safer in a city than detroit. Plus I mean comeon, how can the franchice, wood, and Z compete with bonderman, Maroth. Plus i get kissed everytime i save a game. I dont think Barrett would do that. Saying all that, i am glad he didnt sign witht he cubs, but i just had to laugh at his reasons.
Not to rain on everyone’s parade about the Mrs. Sheffield/R. Kelley tape, but shouldn’t we let them off without ridicule? They were being blackmailed by a notorious race-hustler over a ten year old tape and did the right thing by sending the bastard to jail. Cut ’em some slack.
Hey, we didn’t say the blackmailer was right. We also never said this wasn’t funny!
Barry Rozner is now Sanjay H.
Troy Percival is probably like a lot of contestants on The Price is Right: as soon as he heard a number he liked, he took the money and ran.
Congrats to Andy on not giving a certain network any more free publicity than their stunt deserves.
STLtoday is in such a panic over the Cubs interest in Renteria that they published the Sun-Times notes today.
New internet trade rumor:
Sosa to the Mets
Cliff Floyd to Tampa Bay
Aubrey Huff to the Cubs
Don’t I look like a chimp with Stu Scott among all that confetti? I have a jughead and big ears, with the requisite Chicklets, perfect for smarming at the camera.
What really put me over the top was my main man Stu’s endorsement of my lazy eye in the picture with him. It took me a long time to win ol’ Stu over, but after training my left eye to watch a fly buzz around the room while keeping my right eye on ESPN Classics for 16 hours a day, I was able to get the correct lazy, half baked eye goin’ owwwnnn!!! Thanks, Stuart! Yo, buddy! I’m over here… No, over here…
I’m just dumb enough to go for that trade. But even that’s unlikely.
The "historian" on CNN just said this about the dedication of the Clinton library.
"Different presidents have different approaches to foreign policies. Some are like George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan and are ‘hedgehogs’ who grab onto an issue and concentrate on only it. Some, like Bill Clinton, are foxes and have a finger in every pie."
I fell out of my chair. Anatomically incorrect, but unintentionally hilarious. But I thought he used cigars!
Well, at least I’m finally getting to post on the message board, thanks to Andy and the Desipio Message Board staff.
Sorry for my ignorance on the matter.
Things to do today:
Talk to Steve Finely’s agent.
Talk to Moises Alou’s agent.
Call Zimmer about a comeback – can he still play?
Check into Cap Anson – dead?
Order extra large crate of pudding for team.
I want to note that the Chicago Tribune did a great job with that David Terrell "license" on their sports section’s front page today.
So B.C. has now apologized for his ignorance in using a web-based message board.
When do we get a similar apology for his ignorance on sports?
Sorry, B.C. Too easy to pass up.
The message board dries up comments on your articles, it would seem.
Page 2 has a guy whose entire job is to solicit reader ideas for uniforms. Excuse me while I go outside, put my car in neutral and let it roll over my head.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=lukas/041118
By the way, the eagle "sleeve patch" logo looks like something my eight-year old nephew would get a "C" on if he turned it in as an art project.
How the f@#$’s a bird supposed to wear a baseball glove?
Come on. However, I will admit the home "Nats" uniform (the last entry) is pretty sweet.
Hello again, everybody!
Brian,
Ix-nay on the essage-me ord-bay thing. It’s all I have.
You hear me! IT’S ALL I HAVE!
There’s room for both here at Desipio. It might take a week or two to get in the flow.
I’m breaking the news of the Sosa trade based on Score radio reports that haven’t occurred!
——
Newswire: According to WSCR radio in Chicago, the Sammy Sosa deal is imminent and will be done within 48 hours. Cliff Floyd will come to the Cubs. The report also stated that there a is yet unidentified third team, but it could be the Angels involving Mike Piazza.
——-
And on an ESPN scrawl that doesn’t exist!
——-
No details yet, but ESPN crawl reports:
To Mets: Sosa and Farnsworth
To Cubs: Huff
To Angels: Piazza
To D-Rays: Floyd
Why the hell would the D-Rays want Clifford Floyd for a guy (Aubrey Huff) who can actually play?
Maybe they’re thin at "chronically injured guy"?
That crawl is on The Ocho!
The Cubs give up a guy with almost 600 homeruns and a guy with a 95 mph fastball and the Angels don’t give up anyone. Whoever the hell their GM is is a genius.
So it’s essentially Sosa and Farnsworth for Aubrey Huff? Who in the hell do the Angels give up? Just doesn’t make sense to me, but I do believe the Sosa thing has to get done in order for the Cubs to prioritize their free-agent pursuits. If Sammy goes and they don’t eat a lot of money, then Beltran becomes the main target.
Maybe I’m being shortsighted…but where the hell would Huff play? Last I checked, The Cubs had a 3B, a 1B, and no need for a DH…
I can see the Kaseberg jokes now:
"Sosa leaves in a Huff."
[rim shot]
I can play in the OF. At least better than Sam Sosa.
I played over 100 games in right in 2003.
Oleg,
Huff has also played both right and left field the last two years, and if the Cubs end up with Huff (which I doubt) he’ll probably play left. He can’t be worse than Moises, right?
ground rules, shmound rules!
All hail Sabine Ehrenfeld!!!
Just….about…..over……
Ah…that explains it…I really should start to look some of this stuff up before I post…
#28…good call!! Real good call!!
Artest, you can take that month off now.
Can I take steriods again during my break.
Challenge accepted.
Maybe I’m not as overrated as some hack columnists say.
Maybe I’m not as overrated as some hack columnists say.
Oh my god, Jim Hendry wants to sign me. Is he high?
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