As far as I know, the Baseball Writers Association of America won’t be sending me a Hall of Fame ballot again this year. Few of you probably know that I used to be in the BBWAA (pronounced buh-buh-wahhhhh!) and was kicked out a couple of years ago. The “official” reason they gave is that I didn’t pay my dues. The real reason is that at a BBWAA convention that year I got caught in a compromising position with Carrie Muskat and Laura Vecsey in an elevator at the DoubleTree in Shreveport.
And if you’ve ever seen Carrie or Laura, well let’s just say I deserved to be banned.
However, the opportunity to fill out an imaginary ballot was just too good to be true. And could I really skip an opportunity to shun Willie McGee? Never.
There are 27 players on this year’s ballot, and a lot of fat, white, old men with chicken wings stains on every shirt that they own will sit around and pontificiate about just who is worthy. I have no problem with fat, white, old, chicken winged stained men (in fact, they remind me of Laura a little) but I do have a problem with some of them who don’t vote for a player one year, and then vote for him the next. What? Did the guy come out of retirement for a year and hit a few more homers or win another Cy Young? This first-ballot worthiness crap is ridiculous. As is having to “earn” your spot like Ryne Sandberg is allegedly doing by getting a few more votes every year. Screw that, just put him in already. He doesn’t deserve it any more than he did two years ago, and he doesn’t deserve it any less, either.
So, while upset that both Manny Trillo and UL Washington aren’t on the ballot. Here are the eight guys I voted for for the class of 2005.
Wade Boggs — Best known as the only Red Sox player with a more disturbing case of OCD than Nomar Garciaparra…no, wait, he’s best known for his much-publicized affair with Margo Adams…Boggs inexplicably sat in the Red Sox farm system behind mildy-talented, and coke obsessed Butch Hobson until he was 24, Boggs did nothing but hit once he got called up. He hit at least .300 the first ten years of his career and at least .330 in nine of those seasons. He won five batting titles, he rode around on a police horse like some sort of freak after winning the World Series as a Yankee and even the biggest pessimist has to agree that if there is some imaginary standard for first ballot merit into the Hall of Fame, Wade meets it.
Andre Dawson — The Hawk never drew more than 44 walks in a single season and his career on base average is .323. But who cares? He was undeniably one of the greatest defensive outfielders in baseball history, he had a power-speed combination rarely seen. He won the MVP in 1987 and finished second twice (1981, 1983) in the balloting. He left pieces of his knees and back all over that horrendous AstroTurf in Montreal and he had to endure being introduced in both English and French for every home at bat for the first 11 years of his career. He won eight gold gloves, was an All-Star eight times and led the NL in being hit by a pitch four times. He also was once knocked unconscious by Eric Show during a game and when he woke up he chased Show into the Padres dugout and up the tunnel to the visitor’s clubhouse. Think about this, the Cubs have had a Hall of Fame caliber right fielder pretty much every day for 17 years. They’ve also been good four times in those 17 years. I’m not sure where I was going with that.
Rich “Goose” Gossage — He only saved 30 or more games twice in his career and still ended up with 310 saves. That’s because he pitched for 105 years. It just seemed like it. But you have to remember that the modern usage of a closer was invented by The Genius in the late 80’s with Dennis Eckersley. Before that marvelous strategy of only pitching the ninth inning and only using the closer in a save situation, your closer was your best reliever and you used him whenever you needed some big outs. Gossage fit the bill. He finished first, second or third in his league in saves six times despite never saving more than 33. He went to nine All-Star games and finished in the top six in Cy Young balloting five times. He had a cheesy nickname and once co-hosted a fantasy baseball show with longtime assclown Brady Tinker.
Jack Morris — He gets my vote just for looking just like Major League manager Lou Brown. Oh, and that ten inning game seven World Series shutout against the Braves in 1991, and the 254 career wins don’t hurt, either. He was a five-time All-Star but he never won a Cy Young, he never led the American League in ERA and he only won 20 games three times. But he also led the AL in wins when he was 37 (21 with Toronto in 1992), and he’s the proof that numbers can’t tell the whole story. Besides, he should have won the Cy Young in 1984 but they gave it to Willie Hernandez? Huh?
Jim Rice — Am I voting for Jim Rice just because I voted for Andre Dawson? Yes.
Ryne Sandberg — How can you have a Hall of Fame for baseball players and not have Ryne Sandberg in it? How is this possible? Sure, he hit homers into the Wrigley basket from time to time and sure he never dove for a grounder. But when simplistic dopes like me make fun of him for things like that it doesn’t hide the fact that he was easily one of the greatest second basemen of all-time. He once went an entire season without a throwing error…at second base! He turned 102 double plays that year. He held the record for consecutive errorless games at second (broke Manny Trillo’s record) despite playing on grass (not marijuana…that was Bill Doran). He hit more homers than any second baseman ever…yes, even more than you, Joe Morgan…he won the MVP in 1984 and should have won it in 1990. He hit 40 homers in 1990 when it was still hard to hit 40 homers. He stole 54 bases in 1985. He won nine gold gloves in nine straight years and was a ten-time All-Star. But he did even more than that…and this won’t be factored into his Hall of Fame vote total, but it’s the truth. He’s the sole reason the Cubs are as popular as they are today. Harry Caray gets all the credit, but Ryne Sandberg made it cool to be a Cubs’ fan again. Because for a ten year stretch, you knew you could hang your hat on him. He wasn’t just going to be good, he was going to be great. He was going to play the game the right way and even when the team around him was abysmal, Ryne wasn’t going to let it bother him. If you had no other reason to watch the Cubs, you had Ryne Sandberg. And if you don’t believe that the “Sandberg Game” against the Cardinals in 1984 made the rest of the 1984 season (even its tragic ending) possible, well, you’re just wrong. In any time, on any team, anyplace, Ryne Sandberg’s a Hall of Famer. There’s just no question about it.
Lee Arthur Smith — He saved 478 games in 17 years. That’s a lot. In fact, it’s more than anybody else. He didn’t come through in either of his postseason chances (Steve Garvey ring a bell?), but for 17 years Lee Smith was a stud closer. In the pre-lights days at Wrigley Field he used to come in at the end of those 3:05 starts and the batter didn’t have a chance in hell. He had even less of a chance when he saw that Lee was so nearsighted that he had to squint just to figure out where the catcher was. Nobody dug in real deep against Lee in those games. He was a seven-time All-Star, he led his league in saves four times, and Jim Frey traded him for Al Nipper and Calvin Schiraldi. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be out back hitting myself in the head with a garden weasel.
Bruce Sutter — Whether Bruce invented the split-fingered fastball is up for debate, but what isn’t is that he perfected it. He saved 300 games in his career, which was shortened considerably by an arm injury. For an eight year stretch, he was arguably the greatest relief pitcher of all time, Eric Gagne be damned. He won a Cy Young, he was an All-Star six times and led the National League in saves five times. He pitched 100 innings five times in his career, including 1984 when Whitey Herzog left his right arm in a heap with 122 innings pitched in 71 games. The Cubs traded him for Ty Waller, Ken Reitz and Leon Durham. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find that garden weasel, again.
Guys I didn’t vote for because I hate them
Steve Garvey, Willie McGee, Darryl Strawberry
Guys I didn’t vote for because they’re probably still coked up
Dave Parker, Tony Phillips, Otis Nixon, Daryl Strawberry
Guys I didn’t vote for because they sucked
Mark Langston, Jack McDowell, Jeff Montgomery, Terry Steinbach, Tom Candiotti
Guys who could get voted in and I wouldn’t mind, but didn’t vote for
Bert Blyleven, Don Mattingly, Dale Murphy, Alan Trammell
Guys who I didn’t vote for because they can’t shake hands
Jim Abbott
———–
Fred Mitchell’s column has a funny line from Steve Stone, about Kent Mercker-of course, and some cheesy clip art.
Groucho with the insufferable Phil Jackson.
Jeff George? This is just crazy enough to work. Too bad I’m not.
The Illini will be wearing orange tomorrow night. Good to know. I guess.
Lou Henson remembers the night Eddie Johnson got the best of Magic Johnson.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to shout down the BCS.
Mike North apparently had somebody read this to him, and this morning he went on and on about how stretching is bad for you. I had no idea Mike was a kinesiologist.
Roz thinks George is way too little, way too late.
The Mets want Pedro and Sammy and Moises. Yikes. They’ll be the favorites in the National League, in 1998.
It’s looking more and more like it’s going to end up being a three way deal with the Cubs getting Shawn Green, the Mets getting Sammy and the Dodgers getting Piazza. Hey, whatever works.
Where did the Giants find all this money, all of a sudden?
Butch Davis got canned. Where does he land, Gainesville or Champaign?
Spanish-yes.com’s Kelly Dwyer with his semi-weekly column.
America’s finest news source with the epic story of a check that somehow cleared.
Andy,
Are you sure that Butch Hobson wasn’t blocking Shea Hillebrand at third?
No Steve,
You said that Hobson was blocking Bagwell at third (even though Jeff was eight when Hobson last played third in Boston) and Cecil Cooper was blocking first for him, so the Sox traded Jeff to Houston.
https://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=66.0
Andy,
Might I add..
1) Andre Dawson TODAY would probably play better right field than Fat Sam…
2) Favorite Bruce Sutter memory: As a kid, I recall watching Sutter in four consecutive All-Star Games–’78, ’79, ’80 & ’81 if memory serves–where he got a Save, a Save, a Win and a Win, respectively.
In the FRIGGIN’ ALL-STAR games. American League Stars were totally clueless.
Hell, I’d vote him in for that alone.
1. Trade Fat Sam and Loping Derrek to Colorado for Todd Helton and $30MM cash.
2. Sign JD Drew.
3. Sign Todd Walker and Placido Polanco.
4. Trade Mike Remlinger and Kyle Farnsworth to Cleveland for Matt Lawton.
5. Trade Sergio Mitre and Dave Kelton to Milwaukee for Dan Kolb.
6. Reserve World Series box seats for the away games at Yankee Stadium.
I got a cool hat a couple of weeks ago at a local sporting goods store (kind of an Iowa version of Sportmart). It was made by Nike and is kind of a weathered-looking faded blue. It has the number "23" on the front (no, not NASCAR) and "Sandberg" stitched in fairly small letters on the side of the bill. It is part of the "Cooperstown Collection" hats by Nike and I saw models for Carew, Banks, Schmidt, and Reggie Jackson on the shelves. The department manager said he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to put them out until after the inductees are announced, so I’m hoping it’s an omen.
Andy’s right: this crap of making a guy wait because he doesn’t fit the bill of being a "first-ballot Hall of Famer" is ridiculous. They can get away with it for one year, but it gets way too stupid after that. Ryno should be in.
I, obviously, made out that do-to list after my last session with the bong…
So YOU’RE the guy listening to my car wreck of a show.
ESPN Radio’s Dan Patrick is reporting that Tyrone Willingham will not return as Notre Dame football coach next season.
Same thing on the SCORE, BC.
I like to make guys wait a year to get into the Hall of Fame. The fewer guys that are there each year, the more chicken wings for me.
Andy couldn’t have found three goofier pictures of the clowns at the top of his Dose.
Willingham’s replacement at Stanford, Buddy Teevans, was just fired after compiling a 10-23 record. Interesting. Maybe Willingham will go back to Stanfoo where they loved him.
I’m ND bound, bitches!
What’s a key-in-sigho-log-ist?
Hey Notre Dame. Call when you are interesting again. Until then, you are just a block of TV time on fall Saturdays that says, "Watch CBS, ABC or ESPN."
I’ll give you a call in August, Chuck.
I am comin’ home!!!!!!!
Yo, Urban. August 2008.
Even if you take the gig, which you probably will, it’s gonna be a few years before you are interesting again.
He’s always interesting. His parents named him Urban. His sister Rural is still pissed.
Stop it, Andy. That stuff about his sister is just a rumor.
You might say, a legend.
Regarding Notre Dame, note to the Subway Alumni: We do not live in 1950 anymore, and you can NOT go 11-0 and win the national championship every year! Thank you….
By the way, I like Mariotti’s comment on what the initials "BCS" really stand for….
11-0? Hell, we’ve only lost 15 of our last 28 games. That’s pretty good, right?
I’m going to be fired too. Hey Lovie, you need an offensive coordinator?
#23, as an Illinois alum, I’d take it.
I went to NIU, we’ve lost eight of our last 35 games.
And no bowls yet.
Bastard NCAA.
the Giants have money now since they don’t have to pay me $9 million a year to sit on the DL anymore
Why am I banned from baseball? Ohhh yea, I lost my ass gambling on it. Well at least I had 500K on Giambi using the roids. Still waiting on my Barroid wager to pay off. Don’t tell the IRS.
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