Todd and Corey celebrate a successful Hollandsworth at bat.  One that doesn't require medical attention.The Cubs don’t have to make another roster move after trading Sammy Sosa to the Orioles, because they currently, even with the additions of Jerry Hairston, Jr., Ray Fontenot’s love child and David Crouthers (or whatever his name is), still have an open spot on the 40 man roster. In fact, they still have plenty of room for everybody’s buddy, Jeromy Burnitz! You’re excited, I can tell.

But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t roster battles heading into spring training. No sir. The Cubs 25 man opening day roster is up in the air with literally, one maybe two spots up for grabs! Oooh, the excitement.

Will Dave Kelton make the team or get sent down and get snatched up on waivers by the Braves? Will Will Ohman’s left arm fall off during spring training? Just what purpose does Jose Macias actually fill? These questions, and more will be addressed during spring training, though it’s likely nobody will ever be able to answer the Macias one.

So let’s look at what seems a likely roster make-up coming out of Mesa.

The Cubs last year were going to carry 11 pitchers, but decided that when Mark Prior’s calf began to moo that they needed 12. For this exercise, let’s assume they can go with 11, which is preferable.

Pitchers (11)
The rotation is set with The Franchise–Mark Prior, Carlos Zambrano, Kerry Wood, Greg Maddux and the rejuvenated Glendon Rusch. Technically, Sergio Mitre could still beat out Rusch and send him to the bullpen, but does anybody really think that will happen? Does anybody think that after last year Dusty’s content to throw Glendon under the bullpen car and use Sergio unless he has to?

The bullpen, though, is interesting. Not only is there no set closer, there’s a whole mess of guys battling for six little spots. In fact, if the Cubs carry 12 pitchers it likely won’t be because they need seven guys in the ‘pen, but rather they couldn’t whittle it down to six.

Obviously LaTroy Hawkins is a lock, with the only question being, can someone mercifully win the closer spot from him. Mike Remlinger is the only “proven” lefty (it’d be nice if he’d proven he could get lefty batters out), so he’s in. Ryan Dempster gets the first crack at being the closer, and if The Farns isn’t traded (and Jim Hendry really, really, really, really wants to trade him) he’s in. So that leaves one, maybe two spots for the following guys: The Ice Man–John Leicester, Mike “From bad to” Wuertz, Stephen “The Black Andy Pratt” Randolph, Sergio, Ohman, John Koronka and our all-time favorite Regular “Sweaty” Joe Borowski.

If Sweaty Joe can lift his right arm over his head when camp ends, he’s in. Which means Iowa’s gonna have a kickass bullpen again.

The Ice Man pitched great for most of the season, until the wheels fell off in September. Wuertz was the opposite, not actually getting anybody out until late in the year. Wellemeyer just sat in the bullpen and Dusty forgot he was down there. Of the three, Leicester’s probably the best. Wuertz’s control is…well, we’re friends here…it’s shitty. Wellemeyer has a weird sunken chest and kind of looks like he could be Farnsworth’s little brother. All we know about Ohman is that he brushes his teeth and combs his hair with this left hand and that he’s a smartass. We couldn’t pick Koronka out of a police lineup and we all hope Randolph gets hit by a Mesa City Bus.

So if the Cubs have to take one guy out of this mess it’s Leicester, two, it’s probably Wuertz (God no!) and if they get to three, well, it’s Wellemeyer but that means the old guys in the bullpen have dropped like flies.

Catchers (2)
Have the Cubs really ever had any competition for their catchers’ positions in spring training? I know that one year Don Baylor carried three catchers, but that was because Don’s a complete dumbass, and thought that Bob Machado was just too good to send to Iowa. Excuse me while I bash my head into my desk for twenty minutes now.

Michael Barrett went from “We traded for a catcher who didn’t hit .220?” to the ladies’ favorite Cub in a year. He was better than we expected behind the plate, but only because we expected him to be playing caroms off the backstop every four pitches. At the plate, he was what he’s always been when healthy, a solid hitter with decent pop. He, by nature of his personality, is the leader of the team, at least of the position players, and he doesn’t say “buddy” after every sentence. But, he’ll learn.

Hank White’s arrival is hugely anticipated by…well, me. I already have developed an unhealthy manlove for Henry Blanco, not only because he’s not Gabor Bako, but because…no, it’s just because he’s not Gabor. Hank has all of the makings of a cult hero. He speaks no English (that we know of), he’s fat and he has, as Frank Costanza would say, “a rocket for an arm!” Oh, and he’s not a worse hitter than Bako, he’s just more consistent…at hitting .210.

Infielders (6?)
There’s a question mark there because where do you put Jerry Hairston, Jr.? Is he an infielder, is he an outfielder? For now, we’ll list him with the outfielders. The Cubs have the second best set of corner infielders in the National League (next to the guy with the bad foot and the guy with the bad calf in St. Louis) in Derrek Lee and E-ramis Ramirez. Lee got off to a bad start last year then tore through June, July and August and then kind of went back to sleep in September. The theory is that he’s always a slow starter but that he’ll have a better start this year because he’ll have figured out ways to deal with the chilly Chicago springs, and he’ll have guys on the bench this year to give him a day off once and a while, which he didn’t have last year when Todd Hollandsworth shot himself in the leg. Ramirez was a stud last year, and played the second half of the season with a sore groin. Todd Walker will be taking time from non-stop radio interviews, we hope, to play second base every day. He’s a far better offensive player than Mark Grudzielanek, and his defense was mediocre, but not horrid like we’d all been warned it would be. The real excitement for the infield, and really, for the offense in general is in seeing what it looks like when (if) Nomar is healthy for an entire season. He’s the best shortstop in the National League, which could be damning him with faint praise, but it’s not his fault the rest of them stink.

Neifi Perez enjoyed an improbable run as Nomar’s caddy last year, and he’s back replacing the ever emotionless Ramon Martinez. Ramon had some real talents. He was an adequate defensive replacement at third, short and second (though his range at short was about a half step in either direction) and he never threw his helmet. Hey, that’s something, right? Also along for another season (and we don’t know why) is Jose Macias. Jose walked five times last year in 194 at bats. His first walk came on June 23. That’s right, he played in 41 games before he walked. He hopes to obliterate this streak this year. That’s…great?

The Cubs have invited Cody Ransom to spring training to battle for a spot that doesn’t exist. Cody’s already bought a place in Des Moines.

Outfielders (6)
There is a lot of hand wringing going on right now about how the Cubs are going to replace Moises Alou and Sammy Sosa. People keep pointing to having to replace 39 homers and 106 RBI from Moises and 35 homers and 80 RBI from Sammy. But given Moises’ age and Sammy’s recent track record, if you had brought back Moises and Sammy, would Moises and Sammy have been able to match their 2004 production?

Probably not. Especially Moises.

Corey Patterson returns and honestly, if the Cubs started that first day against the Diamondbacks with Corey in the outfield by himself, defensively he wouldn’t even notice the difference. But, all indications are that Dusty does intend to use a three outfielder alignment, so he needs to find a couple of guys.

Todd Hollandsworth is going to be in the mix in either left or right. When healthy last year he was tremendous, but like every other season in his career, he couldn’t stay healthy. When he’s in there he gives the Cubs an excellent defensive player, a good baserunner and an above average lefthanded bat with some pop. Jerry Hairston will also factor in, and in an ideal situation would play a lot of left field and lead off. He also has been chronically injured during his career, mainly by foot problems and had surgery in November to hopefully cure him of those problems. Right field is either going to be the domain of Jason Dubois or of…uh…how do I type this without having to look at it? Jeromy Burnitz. Ahhhh! Damnit! I looked up.

I’m not one of those guys who thinks the Cubs should just hand right field to Dubois, but I am one of those guys who thinks that signing Burnitz is a waste of time and money. Granted, Jeromy is not a terrible player, but he’s old, he’s bald, he’s a liable to have a good year as a bad one (ask the Mets, in two years he had one of each for them) and frankly, he’s not an upgrade over what the Cubs already have.

You would hope the Cubs will sit back and work on trade options for guys like Aubrey Huff or Austin Kearns, and not bother to tie up a roster spot and money on Burnitz. You can logically assume that Dubois, playing every day, will at worst approximate Burnitz’s numbers without costing you the cash or the spot on the 40-man, since Jason’s already got one. Why not just use him and sift through trade offers for your bumper crop of young righthanded pitching in the minors. Am I missing something here?

If the Cubs go with 11 pitchers they’ll have room for 14 position players, obviously, and that’s two catchers, six infielders and six outfielders. That means there’s room for Dave Kelton, the erstwhile third base/outfield prospect with wonderful physical tools and so far no chance to actually use them in the big leagues. If the Cubs carry 11 pitchers, Kelton makes the team and rots on Dusty’s bench. If the Cubs carry 12 pitchers, Kelton either makes the team at the expense of the useless and now redudant part, Jose Macias and has to be sent back to Iowa. Kelton’s out of options and would have to clear waivers and as I wrote before, he’ll be playing for the Braves in April.

There are certain things I know. I know that if Sammy Sosa turns down Baltimore’s two year $20 million contract extension, that he’ll end up playing on the cheap for Florida next year, and I know that if the Cubs’ waive Dave Kelton, Bobby Cox will give Jim Hendry a hug when the teams first meet in July.

If Cox can find a useful role for Justice Charles Thomas, like he did last year, he can find one for Kelton. But it’s February 1 and I’m way ahead of myself.

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One last thing, since this isn’t really a Daily Dose because I didn’t do any links today, I’m going to share this with you anyway.

Last night on MSNBC, Dan Abrams was hosting a show where they were previewing the Michael Jackson Trial/Freakshow and Dan had a very intelligent, very passionate African-American advocate who expressed his utter dismay that the defense wasn’t able to get a change of venue for the trial to a place that “more closely and accurately represents Michael Jackson.” What he meant, of course was, to a more African-American populated area.

But my question is this? Is this man an African American?
Black?  Male?  What?
And even if he is, or was, would African-Americans identify with him anyway? Frankly, if Michael Jackson’s going to find a jury of his peers, the trial’s going to have to be moved to the Galapagos Islands.