Pitchers:
(Game One)
Padres: Jake Peavy, 0-0, 0.00 ERA
Cubs: Kerry Wood, 0-0, 3.81
(Game Two)
Padres: Brian Lawrence, 0-1, 2.57 ERA
Cubs: Mark Prior, 0-0, 0.00 ERA
Game One Lineups
Padres (4-3)
Geoff Blum, 3b
Mark Loretta, ss
Brian Giles, rf
Ryan Klesko, lf
Phil Nevin, 1b
Ramon Hernandez, c
Xavier Nady, cf
Jesse Garcia, ss
Jake Peavy, p
Cubs (3-4)
Corey Patterson, cf
Neifi Perez, 2b (of course)
Nomar, ss
E-ramis, 3b
Jeromy Burnitz, rf
Derrek Lee, 1b
Todd Hollandsworth, lf
Michael Barrett, c
Kerry Wood, p
Where’s that friendly Mike Kiley when I need him?
Why don’t any of the Chicago sportswriters ever come out and say Dusty shouldn’t play, much less start, Macias or Perez? They pump out the same sort of crap every day, when they could just as easily say something useful. I’m sure Dusty paying attention to it is out of the question, but at least it would be out there.
1 ER on 3 H in 6 IP to end Iowa’s season-opening 5 game losing streak.
How come nobody mentioned me during Spring? Instead, it was all about the Hispanic Mike Harkey, the always-injured pussy Angel Guzman.
Thanks for picking me up, Bobby.
Lineup:
Perez ss
Macias 3b
Hubbs 2b
Cunningham 1b
Blanco c
Young cf
Hickman rf
Arias lf
Prior p
I guess Wood needs to pitch a shutout today.
Great start!
It’s OK, Neifi! will pick us up in the bottom half…
Why in god’s name is Perez still batting 2nd? Any of the following guys would be better in that spot: Barrett, Lee, Hollandsworth, Nomar (move Ramirez to the 3 spot, and Lee to cleanup).
it´s early, but with Wood & Prior we need to go 2-0 today
Wow..homerun, and hit by pitch…and Neifi to pick us up in the bottom half, it is getting better and better.
Because I let Geoff Blum homer off me, i’ll guess I’ll hit the next guy. You know, because I can’t be mad at myself.
Nice! A home run into a 84 mph wind…then I drill someone.
I’m feeling good today.
I’m Cy Young, bitches!
I’m a decomposing corpse.
Did you see that backup on the steal attempt? Now you know why Dusty plays me!
Geoff Blum is batting leadoff? Is this some sort of concession that Bochy is making so that Baker leaves Neifi in the 2 spot?
Where am I today?
right here kerry.
Hey, you didn’t need us today did you?
I mean, it’s not like we’re playing a doubleheader or anything.
I like jumping around on Kerry. Makes things interesting doesn’t it?
Weeeeeeeee! Walk ’em, honey!!!
Hey Kerry, we’re hiring!
I really freaked right out of the gates. Anybody tell me I was pitching today until 15 minutes ago?
1 HR
HBP
BoB
BoB
When does Rusch come in? Odds are middle 3rd inning…
I’m not wearing my pitching shoes today
This is not good.
I got an out! Wheeee!
this one’s over. there’s no way we’re getting 3 off of Peavy. I mean unless Macias gets up with 2 on.
How were the Cubs unable to turn a double play with Klesko and Nevin running?
Kerry, don’t worry. If you can get your high school transcripts sent in, and as long as you were a somewhat decent student, I bet we can accept you and you can get that education degree.
In four years, you can be head coach of Johnsburg High School’s basbeball team while teaching driver’s ed.
Don’t worry, guys. I plan on sticking a fastball in Peavy’s ear when he’s up to bat. You’ll be hitting batting practice off of Tim Redding by the 2nd inning.
Christ
I’m going to sleep with Carlos tonight. :-/
Kerry, is this a reenactment of Prior’s minor league start on Saturday?
Ok, it’s 3-0 with the wind blowing in and the Cubs aren’t going to score 3 runs. So let’s pull Wood and save him up to pitch the 6th-9th in game 2.
Maybe I’ll be able to get Peavy out without him throwing a pitch, as he’ll likely bat in the top of the first inning…
Where am I?
OK, you pathetic group of #^%$#&*#$#(!!!!
Get back to work!!!!
alright guys, lets hope Prior can pitch well tonight.
Geez, I’m awful.
4-0 San Diego. Top of first.
Second & Third, one away.
Errors, HR, walks… We got it all this game!
That’s right, today only, you can come out and see a pair of aces pitch for the Cubs! Brilliant!
Hey Dusty, got any of that holy water left?
Kerry,
Where should I send those letters to? 1060 W. Addison St., Chicago; or Sec Taylor Stadium, Des Moines; or Jennings Volkswagen, Glenview?
Im ready to pitch!!!!!
This is all Barrett’s fault. I’m switching to Blanco.
37 piches in 1st inning. so much for saving the bull-pen for 2nd game.
Did someone request my presence?
It’s a shame Kerry gets an unearned run for his own Corky Thatcher impression.
Thanks, asshole. I used to think comparisons to Nolan Ryan were shooting low, as Ryan walked a TON of hitters, and would have preferred him to be more liek Clemens.
Right now? I’ll settle for Lary Sorensen.
We’re in a slump, not that great anyway, there is no way we’re scoring 5 runs today!! Assuming that is all Kerry gives up.
2 k’s, that’s all that matters.
Kerry,
I can use a new sales rep.
Okay, we need 4 solo shots, go get em’ boys.
We have high hopes for this Kerry Wood kid down at my Schaumberg outlet.
I tried to hit it out, thats what leadoff hitters do isnt it??
Schaumberg’s the bigs for car dealers. Start him out at the North Aurora automall.
I am on base, bitches.
Ha! Won’t get no hit today.
I got a hit for that? Now Dusty can start me every day, since I have a two-game hitting streak.
Keep it coming now, keep it coming now, keep it coming now, don’t stop it now, keep coming now.
Maybe that BC guy is right.
Hello, Nomar.
Don’t start worrying until I dip below .085.
Christ.
Neifi’s rubbing his shoulder, maybe I can play now. Never mind I forgot about Macias.
Hey, I pitched almost this well in Spring Training!
I like to keep calling the 4-spot San Diego put up in the opening inning a “rally.” What do you call it when the Cubs scratch across a few runs to tie it up – is that a “rally” also, or something different?
Hello, 75 win season!! And buh-bye, Johnnie B.
Take Nomar’s corpse, and the cardboard cutouts labelled “Kerry Wood” and “Mark Prior” with you on the way out.
The only thing to get excited about with the 2005 Scrubs it looks like, are the days when our hero Z pitches. Otherwise….not so much fun.
Are our seasons over, also?
Come on down, Kerry!
Christ
Have we said ANYTHING negative so far this season? What a turnaround from last year. We need lipstick and pom poms!
Who the hell is this shmoe talking on the radio?
I can’t say anything negative, because I’ll hopefully be in that dugout down there by the all star break.
Nice to see all my friends here:
Suzie Suicidal
Orel Overreaction
Rex Wristslitter
Jeffy Jumper
It’s not August — wait 20+ weeks before you keel over.
This isn’t fun, but it’s not a shock as the kinks are still being worked out. Relax and have a beer. Or a plate of nachos and a stick of butter if you are BC.
Good Bob, you deal with this racist ass town…oh wait.
“when taking a beating, at least put your hands up…”
That was the Secretary of Health and Human Services, or some such blowhard… I have no clue why they had him stop in. I guess so he could speak about the Tommy Johns Disease Prior will contract in Game 2.
Dear Realist-
I hear the Brewers are off to a hot start. Which means they will probably win the World Series. You can switch your allegiance to them with out too much hassle, as they’re only about an hour and a half north, depending on traffic.
Hey, at least I have won a World Series!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isnt it sad that your announcer is a better manager that your manager!!!!!!
Brian,
I’m the schmoe on the radio. Former Gov. of Utah, present Secretary of Health & Human Services.
THIS IS ALL JIM HENDRY’S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve got at least two more innings left in me.
What Cubs fans will need to sit thru this season!
Wood has his usual pin-point control today. Maybe someone will slide into Neifi at 2nd… then Macias.
Wood has Rick Ankiel’s control today…
Wood has contracted Rick Ankiel Disease! The Cubs are LYING!
When is the last time the Cubs hit a fair ball hard?
Must hit homers…must hit homers…must hit homers.
Haha, I make $10MM/year for another two year, bitches! Sarah thanks you.
Guess that trade they were talking about, me for Mark Teixeira, would have been looking pretty good right now, huh?
But I struck out 20 guys in a game once, beat that!
“There is no manager in baseball besides Dusty Baker that plays all his players”
-when talking about Jerry Hairston
RonSanto just made a reference.
They shoot horses, don’t they? Well, then, what about bumbling, unprepared, emotional diabetic amputees who interfere with baseball broadcasts in order to slowly articulate their half-baked nonsense? What do they do to those miserable bastards anyway?
Full count, runners will be moving. Oh wait…
My big brother, Mike Tyson, is making his comeback later this year. That’s impetuous…
Best at bat for us yet, bitches.
Good point Ron, now how many world series rings has Dusty got?
Maybe if I teach Korey how to have a good AB, he’ll teach me how to pitch.
Screw giving this kid a job. Let me be his personal catcher instead (wink, wink)
If Len says Northwestern grad one more time…
Here they are:
Oct. 9: at Cleveland
Oct. 16: MINNESOTA
Oct. 23: BALTIMORE
Oct. 30: at Detroit
Could Hendry trade Dusty & a couple prospects for like, Frank Robinson or Willie Randolph? Is that allowed.
Hello, it’s been awhile.
Here we go…
Fuck you, Chuck.
Fuck you, C… Aw, it isn’t worth it.
Just went yard, bitches….
5-1 Pads.
It’s a good thing we didn’t have any runners clogging them bases.
2 bloop hits today beeatches.
Don’t worry, Neifi. You’ll be back in the cool shade of the dugout in no time…
Who am I and what did I do with the real Neifi? Who cares? I’m playing the rest of the year now!
I’m doing my Kerry Wood impression by not getting anyone out. Wait, here comes Nomar…
Perez is 2-2 against me? Aw, sheeee….
Hello Mr, Garciaparra,
I don’t believe we’ve met this year.
My batting gloves are loose. I better tighten them.
Pat just said, “That might be the best at-bat Nomar’s had all year.”
Gee, ya think?
Mendoza! I’m coming for you!
Tight batting gloves always do the trick!
My .400 season begins today!
Remember me, Don Zimmer used to use me.
Who loves ya, Aramis?
I leave you guys alone for an hour and I get this? Nice to see Kerry brought his own can of kerosene out to the mound with him.
Honesty compels me to say that Aramis’ groin feels great!
No fair, they stole my idea. Only I can manage Ozzieball. Mang.
I really should steal second so that fat bastard Burnitz doesn’t roll into a double play.
Look at my blazing speed! 5-2!
Wait a second, you can score runs without hitting dingers!
I had a shallow pop fly, all my momentum going forward and an 84 MPH wind behind me and I couldn’t throw out Neifi? I need to get back on the ‘roids.
As welcoming as it is to not strand a runner on 3rd, I’m not sure how happy I am with a first pitch sac fly.
Suck my groin, Chippy.
I’ve nearly caught up to Wood.
I’m at 68, Kerry Would is at 70.
Wow, we were a bumper crop!
Nomar – .161, 0 HR, 3 RBI
Edgar- .179, 0 HR, 4 RBI
Orlando – .259, 1 HR, 6 RBI
Dwarfy Eckstein – .316, 0 HR, 0 RBI
See, Walt Jockitchity is a genius!
Hey Lee! Swing the bat! Those walks don’t do us no good!
I won the era title in exactly the amount of innings I needed to qualify for it. I also had no complete games. I’m not what you’d call a horse, so be patient Cubs offense.
Peavy sucks! He can’t even hold a five run lead! We should have traded him for Mark Texiera!
Don’t worry! I can kill this rally!
He gone…
Don’t look now, but Peavy and Wood are caught up on pitch counts. They’re both high, but still. Kerry’s settled down. Hopefully not too late.
Time to go give them some insurance runs.
I hate you, Hawk. I hate you so much. I would rather listen to Chip for the rest of my life than listen to one entire game you call.
I love it when you analyze.
I can be heard in-between innings on the Cubs field mic, when WGN refuses to air commercials and you only get the ballpark sound. While difficult to make out, it seems a chant of “Left field sucks!” has keep the bleacher bums happy and warm during a crappy 5-2 game.
I´m not Neifi…If you look close enough you´ll see it´s me, Augie
…..Glad to be back!!!
Its still early yet, so I was a good thing to have happen last inning. 3 run deficit beats a 4 run deficit.
“He gone” takes my meaning to the next level.
With Sammy gone, I’m going to be the overpaid whipping boy, aren’t I?
Bring it on, buddies.
Michael Barrett…Yes!
Bochy! Don’t you get cable?
Do NOT run on ME!
Everyone hates me… i’m an agent of the Devil disguised as a boring, biased, company man for a sad, boring baseball team. DJ is my imp.
He Gone !!! Gas!!!!!
Barrett is a god amongst Catchers.
We’ve got maybe the worst holiday itinerary: Christmas in Green Bay! New Year’s Day in Minneapolis! The night before Halloween in Detroit (hey, at least it’s not Thanksgiving)!
Oh, and we mark 9/11 a mere five miles from the Pentagon!
My meaning was created by the home run call “Put it on the board…YESS”.
Anybody see Hank White greet Michael Barrett when he came in after gunning Klesko? We have the audio transcript right here:
Hank White: Job good! Go to way!
Michael Barrett: Thanks, Whitey. Your English is getting better.
Hank White: You mow down him like hot spoon through butter!
Michael Barrett: Thanks.
Hank White: Me glad you catch Woody. He sucks.
I am Hawk’s man servant. I even believe his stories. Like the one where he was golfing with Hank Aaron, Ted Williams, and Joe Dimaggio, then they all went to the clubhouse to talk hitting. I shit you not, he has told this story twice that I have heard.
Come on guys. Give me one more chance. I’m rolling now.
Watch as I beat this bunt out for a single!
Christ
What more must a guy do to win the praise of the most astute fans on the Web?
Hey guys, I am on TBS.
wood 83
peavy 82
Hmm, I get the assignment of the Bears-Packers Christmas tilt with ambiguously gay retired WR Cris Collinsworth and the comatose ex-QB Troy Aikman. I wonder if anyone will moon the fans so I can lambaste him for it this time?
Night before Halloween in Detroit is Devil’s night, where the fine residents reenact their destruction of the city by burning down what’s left of the city. Nice.
Who put a quarter in me?
John Paul II was a great man, but… He Gone.
I think Troy might be more ambiguously gayer than I. Troy really misses snapping the ball.
Fuck you, Dempster. You’re not the only one who can put a man in scoring position then get out of it.
I am a complete tool. My dad would do better broadcasts than me, and he’s dead. Why Am I everywhere?
Come on guys, stop watching that crap. Me and my favorite team the braves are on TBS.
who got an o/u for bears wins?
3 for 3.
Oh and Hell has frozen over.
Nuff said pahtna!
Might as well get comfy, Jerry.
You know, it’s really sad that Neifi is going to end up being the only Cub with three hits in either of these games today.
Yikes.
My body language rivals that of the great Matt Clement.
3 for 3
Did Bob just say bad body language?
Good grief… Nomar looks SO BAD right now.
You have to think he’ll get out of this slump sometime but he had no chance in that at bat.
Watch out Adam Dunn.
o/u on Bears wins was 7.5, but I’d go with 9.5 with that schedule. And if Grossman plays, it could be tough. You know that when his Israelite ancestors were held in captivity in Egypt, threy would breed a nice Jewish girl that could throw a pig far with a nice Jewish boy that could run quickly. That’s how they built the pyramids, you know.
Hey, we got our two runs, what more do you want?
I know I look like a mongoloid and strike out a lot, but I really can hit.
Jimmy the Greek, you and your kind scare me
Remember when the Cubs were going to trade for Mark Loretta? Whatever happened with that?
I thought they used kosher footballs in Egypt?
“Produce” that, Dusty!
You no like Greeks, Sloth? That no good! I bring goat to your workplace, and you never get to see a young jailbait type picture on Internet again! Goat curse you Sloth!
Yeah, I was going to play third base for yous guys.
Jimmy the Greek, people like you are the reason I hate this racist town.
I am fucking terrible.
Hey Kerry, enjoy the boos, buddy!
I’m in baby! No need to let Dubois play right!
You know that I am what seperates the men from the boys in Greece.
Kerry, please mark your calendar for the “Retired Cubs Phenom Reunion.” It’s May 1 at Marovitz Golf Course.
You are paired with Drew Hall, Carmelo Martinez and Gary Scott.
Got to hand it to BC. Nomar looks old, slow and horrrrrrible. How long before we use the “he’s a warm weather player” and forget that he played in Boston all those years?
We manufacture and bang out solo homers, Dusty. Any other type of baseball you want me to beat your brains in?
We manufacture and bang out solo homers, Dusty. Any other type of baseball you want me to beat your brains in?
Hey, what, now Macias gets to play outfield? So I’m the backup-backup-utilty man?
I’m glad I’m a free agent when the year’s over.
Dusty,
I’m Jimmy the Greek Snyder. I’m dead. But I also know that it’s best to play black and latin players in hot weather.
Want to hear all my theories, Dusty?
my double post…sorry.
Hey Bruce, dude, at least I only post once.
Hey I gave you guys your innings, didn’t I ? You didn’t say they had to be good ones.
Hey Bruce, dude at least I only post once.
Damnit!
Does anybody think I’m NOT going to get lit up in the nightcap?
Well, the Cubs weren’t going to score 5 anyway, but now it would be an epic miracle for us to win this game.
Jimmy and Edgar would have had that foul pop up!
Andy,
Nomar looks like s$!#, almost like this one infielder who played alongside me who sucked in April. Where is he pumping gas now?
We’re qualifying miracles now?
By definition, shouldn’t a miracle be “epic?”
Hey Dusty, fuck off. I attack the unsuspecting; nobody ever tries to use me.
Quit this 7th inning stretch shit already.
I’ve always found it ironic that it’s OK to be a slow starter because the weather’s cold. Because it’s always so balmly at the time of year that baseball holds its playoffs.
I love it when Pat lets me borrow the mike!
It’s a Phillips 66 in Uncasville, California, Larry. See you soon!
Mark, you won’t be on the mound long enough to get lit up. You will inevitably get sand in your vagina.
Dusty needs to put the boys back on the juice. No wonder they look slow and can’t hit a ball past mid-outfield.
We lead the league in doubles!
It is awfully cold for June, but I got another hit.
Runner in scoring position? What’s that mean?
I thought that Neifi’s 3-3 day was already an epic miracle. For the Cubs to come back and win would require a divine act of such proportions that it would rival transubstantiation.
The Cubs 7th Inning Stretch singing.
The King of Queens.
Kevin Federline reproducing.
The Cubs blue uniforms.
Us bashing Neifi until he actually stops hitting.
As members of the Illinois Congressional Delegation, we want to subpoeana the Cubs organization and demand why they’re no longer roiding up!
Nice baserunning, Derrek!
Did I bless any more holy water for Dusty before croaking?
Nice announcing, by Mazur there.
Hey, start picking on the big nosed geek playing short! I’m hitting .417.
Man, do I look like Uncle Fester or what?????????
We are a combined 0-5 with 4 K’s. We just thought you should know.
I am King of All Assclowns.
First there were two out with Barret up.
Then he hit one off the wall.
Only it wasn’t off the wall; it was in Adam Hyzdu’s glove.
And there was one out before the at-bat, as DLee was doubled off.
I get paid for this shit?
We know how much it hurt when we folded in the NLCS in 2003 and the last week of the season in 2004, so this year, we’re doing it early!
Who knew? We’d be the winningest team of the Baker era!
We just need a little patience.
I’m a fat asshole umpire. I like to wait 2-5 seconds before making a strike 3 call so the batters have to stand there with a stupid look on their face. Your at MY mercy!!! My arteries are clogged with 2 pounds of butter from breakfast and I don’t like moving fast anyway.
No, not really Jeromy.
Now, if that inning wasn’t typical Cubs I don’t know what is.
In the top of the inning, Kerry is left in too long by Baker and gives up two runs.
Then, in the bottom of the inning, we get a leadoff double, which means a should score situation. Hollandsworth strikes out, and then the opposing team makes a diving catch in left for the second out and Lee is somewhere in Iowa when it’s caught instead of going only halfway to third, which is a spot Lee could have scored from if the catch isn’t made. Instead, Lee can’t get back to second in time and is doubled off.
Yuck. And that is being really nice.
They gave Bartosh #56? I thought they were gonna retire it!
BC wrote: “Well, the Cubs weren’t going to score 5 anyway, but now it would be an epic miracle for us to win this game. ”
Epic Miracle? Really?
B.C.– you embarass this university every time you open your mouth.
You can call me Xr. April!!!
Maybe we should all write letters to Kerry Wood, giving him various pointers. For example:
Dear Kerry,
The object of the game is to get batters out.
Dear Kerry,
Try to throw strikes.
Dear Kerry,
Please stop sucking.
Don’t worry guys, we’ll make you feel better.
http://www.virtualbartender.beer.com/VB2/
Funny, the Marlins young pitchers seem to not only get guys out, but win. How is that possible?
I’m epic. Rack me.
Why do you think I’m going pro? Think it’s for the money? Nooo. It’s because I doubt BC will bitch about the Portland Trail Blazers, nor ever move to Oregon.
Our arms will fall off by july. Burnett is the only one of us that has thrown 200 innings before. And his arm is being held together with paper clips and rubber bands.
Not includin Al Lieter of course, he’s like 83 years old.
Watch in awe as I take my first AB today.
Line up for loss #2
ss Hairston
2b fontenot
3b macias
cf dubois
lf rusch
rf dempster
c hank
1b ice man
p prior
Ya know, I was ready to call it quits when I found out Hendry really signed Burnitz. Then I hear the guy talk and see him play and think he’ll be a good for a laugh. He looks retarded and sounds like a pothead. But after a week, I think he’s really gonna be more harm than good. Same with Todd Hollandsworth… he’s a pinch hitter but Dusty likes putting utility guys & PH’ers into full time duty.
Deron, I don’t stalk you.
The effectiveness of the Cubs offense this inning is… amazing?
Anymore. At least from no closer than 300 court mandated feet.
This is some epic shit. Emphasis on shit.
All right, McClellan deserves a beatdown…
Nobody gives a called third pitch strikeout to Neifi Perez…
NOBODY!!!
Hmm, maybe I can get all the senile Cardinals to vote for Johnnie B. Baker for Pope. He can have all the holy water he needs, he can name Wendell Kim to be in charge of figuring out the sex abuse scandal, he can canonize Neifi Perez, and maybe we can get a real manager.
Who’s this Blum guy?
Hey everyone!
It’s Len Kasper and Bob Brenly…
The Cubs are losing by six, have let Geoff Blum hit two homers, and are going to go to 3-5 on their season…
But we’re all positive! The Cubs can do NO WRONG!
An epic miracle will be me making it through April with the Cubs playing like this.
I thought I was a lefty specialist?
Dub Dub?
What was worse, that Len thought Kashmir was in Indiana, or that Brenly not only beat him to the Zeppelin reference but actually recited a few lines?
Dear BC,
Eat me.
Thanks for your consideration.
Regards,
Len Kasper
Play-by-play announcer
WGN-TV and Comcast
Mulder got his ass beat off him against the Reds.
I’m a free agent in your fantasy league.
Honesty compels me to say that this Cubs team sucks!
ps hello Khalil, I love you
Len Kasper:
Kashmir, Indiana…
Oh, wait, Kashmir, INDIA.
Indiana = India???
Even I think Indiana is a step over India. And I hate the state of Indiana.
Dear “Ronnie”:
Why does you act as if bad things only happen to the Cubs? My friggin’ ears are bleeding fromy our whiny “woe is me” crybabying. Blum homers again and you whine “WHAT is going on?”
Your team is getting beat, asshole. THAT’S what is going on. You play 162 games a year and it’ll likely happen several times. It happens to evrybody. You’d think you never played the game by the way you bitch and moan during a broadcast. Why don’t you get the hell out of the booth if you think the baseball gods are against the Cubs? They’re not. They’re just not playing well. We know you have a deadbeat son whose lame film career needs your bankrolling, but can’t you find other revenue streams than defecating on the WGN airwaves?
If you insist on staying, how about doing some stinkin’ game preperation for once and shitcan the persecution complex?
BC,
Do you really think Chip and Steve were critical of the Cubs last year? Chip was the biggest excusemaker the Cubs have ever had in the booth. Until the last week, Stone didn’t call anybody out on the air and he worked for the team for 20 years. Stone was at least good at letting you decide how dumb something was without having to say it. Chip never uttered a critical word until his punk ass was off the payroll.
Get over it.
Love,
Andy
Khalil??? Watch it, mister or no soup for you!
Go shave your ass BC
I’m only 3 1/2 months away. If the Cubs can hang in there around 3rd or 4th place, maybe I’ll afford you a guy from one of the poor teams who can actually hit the ball.
Kokomo
Kendalville
Kouts
Kashmir? Not so much.
I’m not saying…but if Dusty has E-ramis, Nomar and Lee play all nine in this blowout and then benches any or all of them in game two…well, I’m just saying…
Here’s the thing about Kasper’s Kashmir flub that made me laugh. For a second, I didn’t think it all odd that there were missionaries being sent to Indiana.
Our pitching staff is better than yours?…I mean, Our pitching staff is better than yours.
You don’t like us, BC? We’ll remember it next time you call technical support!
I dont know much about baseball except that Ron Santo is driving me frigin nuts…from the gavel voice to the missing limbs it all grates on my corn rows.
when we were tied at 70 – 70 Luther kept the ball…should have dished to me …damn…..point shaver.
What are you trying to say?
Just because you spend a lot of time in the missionary position, doesn’t make you a missionary.
I looked like Sosa on that last at bat, maybe I am the new face of the Cubs.
The only reason Chip and Steve said anything negative in the second half is because we Cub players read Andy’s awesome “Help Chip pack!” post back in April or whatever and it lit a fire under our asses to do anything and everything to get the assclown out of Chicago. When Chip and Steve realized that Chippy was probably out, and due to his Chip-love, Stone too, THEN they got pissy and bagged on my stupid plays. It hurt my feelings at first, but then I just cried on my huge piles of money.
But last April they were cheerleading little bitches, too.
Len just said that there are a “couple” of laugh out loud moments in Anchorman.
A couple? I only have one kidney because I laughed one up during that movie.
Sheesh.
Now I’m giving movie recomendations.
What a great day for Woody? I told you he would be the whipping boy this year. He’s an overpaid(Please put me on the DL because my great pitching ability window has closed and is in the past) washed up pitcher.
Straw had said along with others last year that we need to stick Wood’s ass in the bullpen. I would give that a try. He would strikeout the side or he would end up walking or hitting the batters to load the bases. You have a 50/50 chance just like Kerry’s balls to strikes ratio that it could work. This guy is finished and I guess you could blame it on his Tommy John surgery or all the other injuries he’s had. But once again, management has been burned with giving out expensive paychecks for no results. The next guy to pour gas on management and light a match is Aramis Ramirez. I like the guy, but he knows he’s got that big contract, so you will see Dusty sit him out like a dumbass. Meanwhile, Aramis is laughing to the bank watching a dumbass like Macias play for him.
This orgainzation is not cursed, it simply fucks its ownself up the ass with move after move that has screwed them over before. They just never learn and I guess enjoy the fact of giving away money to washed up or underachieving players.
Of all things today that were positive and all the Perez bashing yesterday, Neifi gets on base three times and counting. Go figure, God has that sense of humor working again.
I hope Straw’s lineup works in the second game. Dumby Dusty might as well try to shake some things up. They can’t get any worse.
Baker Basher
Bobby Cox is the greatest manager ever!
Shut the fuck up, Chip.
Jesus, who names their fucking kid, Chip anyway?
Fuck you too, Skip.
And Harry for that matter.
I SUCKED!
Rrrrrrippppppppppp.
Christ
Is this a rally?
I bet I’m Chip’s new eye candy. After all, how could anyone not love watching me play, hmm?
“Weatherman”?
Don’t think I laughed out loud once. Bad times.
If you wanted to get some sense of proportion, 8 baseball games are as biga percentage of the MLB season as… the first 47 minutes of the first NFL game. Of course, if the Bears looked this bad in the opener, I’d shoot myself.
I now have as many hits and as many runs scored as a Cub as Tony LaRussa!
No hits. One run.
wasn’t running well. He looked lame coming into third. I bet he doesn’t play game two.
to baker basher… without your bitching essays at the end of every game, we wouldn’t be able to tell the Cubs are playing like shit. Thanks for letting us know.
Weatherman? That’s my movie.
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=info&id=1808626154
You mean Anchorman.
I’ve been saying it all along: Holly isn’t a starter. He’s fucking us bad. Of course, so is Nomar, but at least Nomar HAS produced as a starter before.
Baker Basher, shut the fuck up, you dumb fuck piece of shit.
Weatherman: a mandate on whether or not you like Will Ferrell.
Me, not so much. In fact, not at all.
I mean Anchorman, Christ, now you’ve got me doing it
Wood and I can go head-to-head in the Anti Cy Young award.
I gave up 11 hits and six runs in five innings today to lower my ERA to a tidy 8.18.
Dear Baker Basher,
Go the fuck away, dude.
Dusty Baker
If I played as bad as Holly I would be demoted. I mean, could I really do any worse?? Besides Holly is a great pinch hitter, but I guess Dusty doesnt like to put people in situations to succeed, look at Hawkins, he’s a great set up man.
I don’t work well with these “young” guys like Mulder. Somebody get me Rick Honeycutt on the phone!
Sorry. Anchorman.
Only 9 more innings to go!
Is game 2 on WGN?
Len: That was awesome! Early season blow-outs are fun.
Bob: Let’s do it again, folks. Neifi smashed the ball over 130 feet in one at bat.
Len: What a game! Cubs lose 8-3, the Padres are superior.
Bob: When I managed the D-Backs………….
Andy,
I didn’t say Chip and Steve were as critical as need. Indeed, thinking back, Chip almost had no criticism of the team until the very end. Steve was more critical than I think you are remembering however. I distinctly remember him getting upset during one of the early Cardinals’ games after yet another inning where the Cubs had a great chance to get a run in and couldn’t do it.
But, Len and Bob have said nothing negative about this team’s poor play to start the season. Len might not be the dumb*** Chip was, but his voice is just like 10 other baseball announcers out there. He’s got a simple voice like Dan McLaughlin or Matt Vasgersian who shows almost no excitement in almost every situation.
All I want is for the announcers to say the team is playing bad (if they are) and explain why.
game 2 is comcast, unless of course you were talking about the radio side
Wow, it looks like Dan Plesac had a stroke. He makes Paul Assenmacher look peppy.
Is it a rule that eveyr new sports media venture has to hire me!? Wow, I suck. When will my heart finally stop?
Could I get any more boring?
Did Kerry Wood have a stroke? That would explain why the right side of his body is useless…
*as needed, not “as need”. Yikes.
I should also note that I believe announcers need other things than the two variables I mentioned in my last post. But, I was listing those variables just as it pertains to the analysis parts of the announcers’ jobs.
I can’t figure this TV thing out. They never tell me which camera to look at. I hate Dan Jiggets, he’s made of play-dough.
What time does game 2 start?
I have to shit.
I start at 3:05.
I only have a second before the start of game 2 but I have to say g^%$ dammit does this f^&$*%& team suck. There everyone happy?
BC,
Listen to Len Kasper 100 times, then make an argument.
And then please lobby Mr. McDonnough to hire me!
Love,
Jim Tocco.
I just said when I was playing at Wrigley and I saw that the flags were blowing out I wanted to get “rear ended a little bit.” WTF?
I just said when I played for the Cubs I hoped I would get rear-ended every now and then when the wind was blowing out.
Good god, if BC was a baseball announcer, he’d be even more annoying than me.
Or — the duo from hell…me AND BC.
There’s a handful of kids chanting “Reggie!” with Reggie Sanders up, Cardinals down 2 with Jim Edmonds on first.
Sanders strikes out to end the inning, and is booed. This is that great crowd that Steve Kline was talking about, too good for that sort of thing!
OK you got me, I really just miss Lassie Edmonds. The wind did not have to blow at all to rear-end him!
So apparently I took out the wrong Todd?
Don’t worry, next time we face them, I’ll find a way to ram Hollandsworth, too.
My MLB Gamecast photo makes me look like the black Sta Puft Marshmellow Man.
You only have 1-2 runs to work with, allow them wisely. Unless Macias and Neifi are both playing, then you only have 1 run to use.
Oh yea, and plan on pitching a complete game if you want to win.
We just hit around the order on the Braves. In the top of the 9th. Ouch.
Who’s this Dan Plesac retard? I’VE got your keys to the game.
My keys, the cubs have to score more runs than the padres to win. See im pure genius!
“hit around the order”?
Is it just us or does this have the feel of a must win already?
By the way, whoever started that me and Gail Fischer rumor? Woman looks worn down and about forty-five years old. I can get way hotter ass than that.
Hitters have to be patient with Prior and just spit on that curveball… his stuff is filthy! So is Plesac’s ass…somebody let him use the crapper.
Wood and Prior could never lose back to back games…Muhahahahahahah
Let’s hope the Cubs don’t treat the 2nd game like it’s a must win. I mean, remember how well they did in must win games last year?
Dont worry, if its a must win situation, im money!!
We are the worst left side of an infield ever. Holy shit, we suck. Holy, holy shit.
Alright…I’m here…so what did I miss?
He who fart in church sit in his own pew.
When I make my appearance during the first AB of the game, you know you’re in for a gem…
Is there a lineup posted for Game 2 yet? C’mon, make me laugh!
Oh my God…I just threw up all over my keyboard…now, I’m dipping my fingers in it…ew…
No, it’s all too shocking! Even Yahoo won’t reveal the rest of the lineup.
Run for your lives…
Never mind, I saw it.
Christ.
Hairston
Perez
Patterson
Lee
Burnitz
–
Macias
–
Prior
Fill in the blanks…
I’m definitely gonna leg whip Neifi on a double play ball.
I am the blanks that fill in the blanks
Thanks Jerry, I could use the playing time.
Well, it’s clar the Padres are no Arizona Isotopes.
Well, it’s clear the Padres are no Arizona Isotopes.
I just don’t understand why Dusty couldn’t have rested E-ramis and Nomar from innings 7-9 in the first game instead of giving them the entire second day off. They had a day off yesterday and one tomorrow.
Anyway, Prior didn’t give up five in the first.
Hey, who left me as a blank? I’m a blanc-o.
But look at me, Andy! I’m durable! I can play both games of a doubleheader!
I’ll tell you why Andy.
Dusty is a dumbass.
Give me Lou Brown.
how is the franchise doing? keep me updated here.
It’s Macias, Perez, Hairston, Lee around the horn.
The outfield is DuBwa, Corey, JerOmy
Battery is Prior and Blanco.
If this line-up wins the game, should I be afraid the dead will walk the earth by sundown?
Acquire me and keep updated with your own eyes.
There goes our REAL fucking leadoff hitter. Drawing a walk!
Hairston, now I know why I’m benching you. You’re clogging the bases up with that walk.
Updates? Air, we’re only here to vent and be smartasses.
Try the mlb.com Gameday2005
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watch and learn, Korey.
I am just dreadful.
And legless.
And bald.
Why, oh, why do these Cubs keep killing me softly and slowly? Why, oh, why do I continue to subject myself (and listeners) to my on-air death?
I have a terrible voice for radio and can only follow the game if Hughes tells me what happened five seconds ago.
Wait ’til I yell a loud “Yeah!” on a liner that gets caught. Then you get to hear my “Gah! Geez!!!”
He who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Hey Andy, good point about E-ramis and Nomar, but Neifi can start both games. This lineup looks like something from the late 70’s.
According to GameDay on MLB.com, I’m playing left and right field for the Reds in the ninth. I’m fast!
No runs, 1 hit in top of first.
Hairston draws a walk. Imagine that….
Now, though, it’s Neifi time. He used up his month’s allotment of hits in game 1.
These doubleheader things is easy! 4-5, bitches!
NEIFI for MVP!
Look at me!
Oh, and what was my OPS in September with the Cubs?
Ronnie, if you were a dawg, you woulda been put down long, long ago. Just thank God you’re an Old Cub.
I’m not surprised that Reggie Sanders got booed today. Those Redbird fans are fowl!
To whomever it was who earlier suggested we lay off Neifi until he stops hitting, I disagree. Raggin’ on him seems to be working.
Hey, fellows, bash me when I stink up the field, not when I go 3-4 in Game One and execute a flawless hit-and-run in Game Two.
Choke on it, jerks.
Oh, joy, lets have a Neifi parade down Michigan Ave…
With Moises gone, Dusty made me the baserunning coach!
Damn you, Hairston! You robbed me of an RBI!
Kerry Wood is my idol! I want to run up 30+ pitches in the first inning. Any objections here?
Guess Dusty was right? Hairston can’t run the bases, and Neifi is Ty Cobb reincarnate.
Am I missing something? On cubs.com it says I am 0-1 with 9.00 ERA.
Love these brisk June doubleheaders! 3-0 Cubs.
First time since Holly a week ago?
Thanks for the calendar, Andy. Have one for Nomar?
I’m sorry, why the hell didn’t I score on Corey’s groundout?
(I’m not watching the game, anybody know?)
I’m waiting for a 3-run homer…
…Oh BOY!
I froze at third on the routine grounder to second. I just decided to wait and score on Derrek’s homer.
Wow, I can’t run the bases, I can’t bunt…so does it really matter than I can wheel?
Burnitz is hilarious
I am ready to tie up / win the game for us against Graves in the bottom of the 9th.
I came up with the bases loaded, one out and the Reds up 6-5 and I grounded into a double play.
Hee hee.
Oh boy, our ol’ friend, the three-run jack.
Sigh.
Same as it ever was….same as it ever was….
I aim to knock the shit outta the ball today. unh hunh…
It sure is a good thing I never play.
fuck you dusty
Every hit Dubois has makes me hate Baker more and more. Especially when it’s a double followed up by the Macias.
Now I’ll bring you in with one of my clutch hits.
Didn’t the Cubs come back in the second game of a double header last year with a turd line-up and beat the crap out of the ball for a nighcap win?
Maybe I dreamed that like DuBois starting the second game…
He who complains about three run jacks moistens his hands for little girls.
The funniest thing about Poo holes’ first-pitch 6-4-3 game-ending DP?
That I totally look like a girl!
The funniest thing about Poo holes’ first-pitch 6-4-3 game-ending DP?
That I totally look like a girl!
Macias plays every other week and it looked like he wasnt even running hard to first base.
yes i am good, but who do I replace in regular lineup?
Internet connection went out, missed bottom of the first. Run down, anyone?
We stunk up the first game and then won the second.
Maybe he was just confused about where to run. It happens.
The gremlin can cover some ground.
Am I looking good?
(For real–no TV out here!)
Website.
I’m going to be busy…
Hey Jason, you can replace my curly locks and loopy swing in the lineup.
How can I be expected to pitch with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore cuddling in plain view behind Hank?
Didn’t the Cubs win the first game of the double-header with Florida (using their bad lineup against Carl Pavano) and then stink it up in the 2nd game?
Dubois is about 4 years away from being a starter. He’s way to young.
Yes, I pitched a shutdown (or nearly so) for Florida against the Cubs “good” lineup. Sosa, Alou, Grud, etc. Heh, good times.
The 2nd game of that Florida DH was Pussy Boy’s last start IIRC.
Come back Henry, come back!!!!!
Silver Slugger
Nobody replaces me… i’m a pinch-hitter that Dusty expects to have a big season. My uppercut swing is massive.
There goes Hairston clogging those f’in bases again.
I was eating a pretzel when I should have been covering third.
My 8 pitch at bat tired out lawrence, allowing Prior to get a hit and JHJ to get hit.
I have done well, time for my nap.
I hate Hairston, he clogs up the bases with walks, knows how to get hit by a pitch and is capable of leading off.
Seriously, who am I?
Neifi doesn’t even sacrifice correctly…
Nice game hitting steak, beeyaatch
Haven’t seen me since opening day.
Is it too much to announce the game instead of plugging Wojo’s book? Bases loaded, and they’re talking about cleaning major league uniforms.
Are you kidding, I LOVE Hairston now. That dude kisses my entire ass, even the dirty parts. His Score interview was great, dude.
I ran the right way this time!
Who knew Prior was so fast that he caused complete confusion on that bunt?
And I also like seeing some actual offense for once. Move runners over, hit a sac fly to get a runner in from third with one out…
4 RBI in 2 innings. Suck on that, bitches!
And Burnitz strikes out (just a prediction)
Enjoy this, we won’t score again til Sunday.
I am not good.
Yes, BC, it’s small ball, just like Opening Day!
We’re a totally different offense now!
We’ll hit six singles an inning all year!
The Padres should look into a pitcher like me.
I wonder if the Padres want me back?
Seven runs?!?!?!?!? What the heck is going on up there in Chicago?
Hey, Confucious? Go rub sum hott mustard on your cornhole.
You refer to me as BC again, you’re going to need to look up dialysis in the yellow pages.
And I rather see this team hit and run and put some pressure on a defense than the sorry ‘lets hit a 5 run homerun’ play that Dusty seems to generally expect.
Good things happen when I am in the line-up.
heck…is till think I look like Uncle Fester…
and I don´t really care what you guys say
From now on, mi intro music will be “Addams Family” by MC Hammer
I didn’t drop that one.
I think Dusty’s found his lineup.
Trade Nomar and A-Ram, we have Neifi & Caveman Macias
“….they do what they wanna do, dance like they wanna dance,
kicking and strutting…they´re the Addams Family…”
GO…
GO…
Hammer…2 legit
We’re very dull compared to the ones that happen during losses.
That was a home run if it wasnt for the damn wind.
What is all this baseball jabber? doesn’t anyone wanna know if I’m going pro?
Hey, sparky, no one was talking to you. BC said: “And I also like seeing some actual offense for once. Move runners over, hit a sac fly to get a runner in from third with one out…”
Which is all well and good, except the Cubs have these kinds of games occasionally (like Opening Day) and then have shit games the next. It’s nice to see, but probably not going to be the norm.
But gosh, please don’t kill me over the internet!
L E A D O F F
Man, this pitcher blows.
Fuck You Dusty
Rounding second, heading for third!
Rrrriipppppppppppppppp!
Don’t get too excited, Jerry. Hell, I could leadoff against this guy.
How did Prior not score from first on that double? Come on! You’ve got to send him! He would have made it easy!
(And by made it I mean been tagged in the mouth, and by easy I mean out by 40 feet…and with a seven run lead, no less.)
That’s just not good.
Padres didn’t think Lawrence could get by Neifi. So they brought in a fat guy?
NOOOO! My hitting streak!
The Cub offense is unstoppable!!!
If they’re batting against me or Brian Lawrence. And maybe like, Ryan Vogelsong or something.
Hey!
What did I do?
Jesus, I’m so sad to have missed Game One’s Crap Fiesta.
But Game Two… Mark Prior… so far so good.
I just called my self a voice of reason on Around the Horn. I also said it is too early to panick about any baseball team, even though I write column panicking about the Cubs.
No making fun of me if I’m hitting better than Patterson.
Hey Kurt…welcome back.
How’s Prior throwing?
Thats 50 pitches for me.
Well, I’m just not very good. So it’s possible that the Cubs could hit well against me. Now watch me pitch a one-hit the first time I see them this season.
I watch around the horndog.
hey gang, just wanted to inform you, Dotel will be ours by june 1st
God damn it’s nice to have Prior back.
Thats 61 pitches through 4 innings for me.
Would anyone mind telling me what I’m doing playing for the Cubs? And why is everyone calling me “Jeromy?”
Mark is throwing like his hair is on fire.
No wait, I’m confused.
His fastball is in the mid 90’s, and judging by his pitch count, he’s been pretty efficient. Plus, he looks great in the nameless jersey.
Len and Bob are talking about how the Marlins are pitching awesome baseball right now. That doesn’t bode well. Let’s hope they get it out of their systems before October.
Damn it, dude! I hate how Derrek and Dubois were clogging the bases like that! If they’d hit some homeruns, we would be winning by more right now, bro! What were they thinking?
Did anybody else notice that the team charter didn’t start having problems untill I showed up?
Wah Wah, boo hoo.
Prior’s having a hell of a game. He keeps starting them out with strikes, and four of his five K’s have been looking.
What is my pitch limit?
I tune in to this second game and find out it is 7-0. It’s hard to believe we scored seven runs in the first two innings with that strong lineup. Neifi continues to hit, Jerry’s got a couple hits today, and Macias is still a big piece of shit.
Prior is the big surprise though. His control and command have been great. He must have been in the club house watching something else on TV besides Kerry Wood’s ragarm getting battered up in that first game.
Nomar and Aramis sitting is pathetic. That’s what those big checks are for, to sit on the bench and make fun of Baker’s 3 Stoogies-Neifi(Moe), Macias(Curly) and Jerry(I mean Larry) that are actually performing better then you are minus Macias, he will actually suck and suck even worse then Bako this year.
But anyway, this day off stuff is a bunch of bullshit. You’re healthy major league ballplayers and it’s time to start playing some ball. Spring Training is over. I think it is a bit of the players wanting to sit and mostly Dusty being his dumb old self.
Keep it going Prior. You might even inspire Kerry Wood in his next start, that is if he won’t visit the DL first.
GO CUBS!
Baker Basher
Kurt, I wouldnt mind if they are discussing it in October.
Baker Basher, do you even watch the game? You write this long-ass analysis, but you don’t even have the facts. Like, “Jerry’s gotten a couple hits.” No, he’s gotten one hit, a walk, and a HBP. What’s the point of posting your thoughts about the game if you don’t even bother to make them accurate?
Shut the fuck up Baker Basher.
Damn, these Padres have some nasty stuff in game two!
Oh, I am good. Padres should’ve started me game 2!
The second game today reminds me of the last game of the three game series the Cubs played in LA last May.
http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/wrapup.jsp?ymd=20040513&content_id=742699&vkey=wrapup2004&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc#box
With the starting lineup of:
Goodwin
Macias
Moises
E-ramis
Holly
Lee
Gabor
Ramon
Zambrano
They scored six runs in the second and won 7-3. Two days later, Sammy would sneeze.
Hey, I had two hits that day to bring my average up to .194! Suck on that Nomar!
Santo wrote another book? That’s two now, right?
He’s now written more books than he’s read.
I was batting over .500 that road trip. That is some trippy shit right there.
Miss me, bitches?
Len just reminded us all that through 14 innings this year, Henry Blanco’s catchers’ ERA is still 0.00.
And you wonder why we have a fan club?
https://www.desipio.com/hankwhite.htm
Am I on a pitch limit today?
He has written two more books than you has legs?
Hey, we’re 1 for 1 so far on the year. Let’s see if we can keep up this no-bullshitting-around policy on injuries all year.
I’ve only given up four hits this year!
I’m up in the bullpen. You’re about to go from great to Wuertz.
I bow down to Hank, and respectfully step aside. He should start every game!
Hey, I’m hanging out of a window watching the game!
Send me in! I want a pizza!
I think its time for me to hit the shower.
Where routine flyballs go to die!
All right Nevin, you piece of shit. Tap one to Neifi and let’s get Prior out of the seventh and to the showers.
I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
I have some real bizarre sunglasses.
This just in.
The Prior kid’s not bad.
92 pitches, no runs allowed through 6 innings.
Mmm, me want pepperoni.
Has anyone mentioned me yet?
Welcome back Franchise, we can use a number two pitcher on this team.
I am totally starting tomorrow, Jerry.
Fuck you all. I am 3 for 4, biches.
I mean Friday
6 hits today for the Neif
I have as many hits today (6) as Nomar has all year.
Hah!
Now that I got my 5RBIs, I need to remember to buy those Father’s Day cards.
Well, gang, Neifi wore his hitting shoes today.
And, I’m hitting .438. You can’t bench .438. Hell, I’m hitting .057 higher than Walker was.
No kidding, Neifi. I bet I’m out of a starting job now!
Hey Nef, I’m hitting 230 points higher than you.
I’m with ya, Mark. Andy and others seem to want to get you in the showers awfully bad!
I got more hits today than Gabor in his Cubs stint
I’m gonna go talk to the reporters at my locker today and tell ’em Jerry Hairy can suck it!
Neifurry reigns for the next 4 to 6 weeks.
In that cheesy Briggs and Stratton commercial, Carlton Fisk and Lou Brock (my God, these are the most relevant players they could afford?) are wearing jerseys. Brock has his #20 on, and Fisk is wearing #27. Looks like his re-evolution back to a Red Sox is complete.
Damn, can Hank start catching me? Please??
You know what folks, Barrett can hit pretty good, and he’s a redass, which I like. But this is starting to diverge from an anomaly into a trend. First Gabor, now Hank. Why do our pitchers perform so much better with El Blanco Grande behind the plate?
I dunno, but what he’s doing is more important than anything Barrett could conceivably do with the bat. I think we should start using Blanco a LOT.
He caught everyday for the Twins last year, didn’t seem to hurt their performance none. Ask Johan.
If he’s not going to give up a run, I’ll soap up his back.
No…maybe not.
Neifi’s 6-8 day is bringing bad Vegas flashbacks. Dusty, like me, won’t know when to walk away from the table.
for president
Do I count as visibility chat?
I think Barrett’s catchers ERA takes a beating…because of you.
Can I hit real good? Sometimes. But goddamn my approach at the plate pretty much blows.
Hey Andy, I deserve some credit for that, too.
Dudes I hate to say I told you dudes but I told you dudes
Absolutely.
BOOOO! BOOOOO!
Wuertz blows! I want a pizza!
Let’s watch Prior throw three or four good games in a row before we proclaim that all is well in Cubville.
Still, great to see an awesome performance by The Franchise!
And, if you’ve ever wanted proof that God wants the Cubs to lose, then Neifi’s incredible, start-earning performance today is all the evidence you should ever need.
Blah blah blah, I suck worse than Dusty does, whine whine whine, only someone like me can turn a bunch of caustic Cub fans like the Desipio Boys into defending a jackass like Dusty Baker, blah blah blah, I think I’m BC in disguise, whine whine moo.
Hey thanks guys, kudos to all of you as well. Glad I could come through for you.
Damn, I’m about to fall asleep on my feet. Hank White don’t do long innings.
Macias and Blanco coming up
Hey Andy, maybe you are right about me.
Oh, fuck this shit. I give up.
For those of you who don’t know, the scoreboard here at wrigley is green with white letters.
My name is really Pat Hues.
Whatever, Jerry. You can’t do what I do!
Who does that Mike Fawn-tuh-NAHT dude think he is? At least two of those pitches were hittable. Why didn’t he swing? He ain’t paid to walk, dude.
Hey, Gene, get me Jim Hendry on the line, dude. This kid belongs back in AAA. Tell him I want a veteran, dude. Does Glenallen Hill still play for this team??
Ha, watch me try and leap for that fly ball even though I’m 5 feet tall .
Safe to say my 15 minutes are up.
I do watch the games when I’m not working for your information. I graduated from college and have a job. Some of us have given up living the frat dream.
But anyway, when I said Jerry Haiston II had a couple hits, he did get his first Cub hit in that first game of the doubleheader. He also picked up another hit in the second game. Even though I think the guy will suck this year, he did get a couple hits today.
Prior pitched one hell of a game. He came out right away throwing great. One walk in 6 innings and no hit batters is damn good-HEAR THAT KERRY WOOD!
I do have one gripe today. What the hell is going on with Remlinger coming in and walking two straight batters and of course they end up scoring. In a tight game, we lose because of that shit. That old fart needs to be throwing his walker around instead of throwing ball after ball to fall behind in the count and walking guys. He will piss away a couple games this year pulling that shit.
We split today’s doubleheader so that’s to be expected. When was the last time the Cubs swept one anyway? At least there will be a day off tomorrow and so for those of you fuming over Neifi’s great theatrics today can get some rest. He’s not going any where except being in that Cub lineup if Dusty can do anything about it. As for Macias, maybe someone will be going Gizmo hunting tomorrow and accidentally shoot the guy.
Baker Basher
Actually, Macias is a gremlin, he hunts me! I am as scared of him as I am of bright light.
I got ejected on a bullshit call. Danny Crawford is a self hating Bulls fan. He must be, considering where he lives. F him.
Didn’t we sweep a double header the last weekend of the season?
Yeah, I think it was against us.
He who is on third wife has small pecker.
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