No matter how hard you try, unless you are truly, clinically delusional, you just can’t summon up much hope for this bunch, can you?
After 24 games the Cubs are 12-12. They’re the definition of mediocre. While you’d like to think they are underachieving, it’s hard to make that case. You know why they’ve won as many games as they’ve lost? Because they’ve got the perfect amount of talent to win every other day. They’re playing in the most godforsaken division in the National League and they can’t take advantage of that, either. Meanwhile, the Cardinals, a mere shell of the team that won 105 games last year is left to limp away from the pack because the Cubs don’t have enough good baseball players to do anything about it.
How’s that for kicking off your week on a high note?
You mant more distressing news? How about the fact that after a shaky first inning yesterday, Mark Prior settled in and had good stuff. He had a live fastball, his curveball was snapping along quite nicely and then he went all Kerry Wood on us in the fifth.
He blows two fastballs by Raul Chavez, then hangs a curveball that Raul can still barely get around on for a single. He gets Roy Oswalt to pop up to third, but then the Cubs prove they haven’t bothered to scout Wily Taveras all year and on a hit and run, Neifi leaves short to cover second base and the ball goes right behind him for a single. The Cubs also made Wily prove to them three times that he could throw runners out at home plate, and he did. All three times.
The Beege loads the bases with another Judy hit. The Beege hasn’t hit the ball hard since 1997. Prior strikes out Bagwell and makes him look silly (even sillier than when he grew that four inch long goattee). Then gets ahead of an overmatched Mike Lamb 0-2.
So you look back and see that they got three cheap hits and Prior’s about to get out of it. No sweat.
Then he tries to either go way up and in or way down and in on Lamb and instead, leaves it on a tee for him. Lamb sneaks it inside the foul pole, and it’s 2001 all over again. Remember when Jose Vizcaino did the same damn thing against one of our horrendous relievers?
OK. You figure, just some tough luck. Two bad pitches in one inning and it costs you four runs. This kind of thing only happens to the Cubs.
Until Prior walks Jason Lane and Morgan Ensberg and then gives up a three-run homer to Adam Everett.
Huh? Two homers and seven RBI in one inning to Mike Lamb and Adam Everett? Wow. That…that’s not good.
The Cubs offense meanwhile, is still being carried almost exclusively by Derrek Lee. In fact, the only positons that are producing at or above what we thought we’d get are first base and right field. Shortstop’s been a plus, but only after Nomar tore his crotch in half.
And yet, the Cubs lead the league in homers, are third in runs scored, sixth in on base average (which for them is cause to have a parade), lead the league in OPS. In the 12 major statisical categories that baseball tracks for team offense (at bats, hits, runs, doubles, triples, homers, rbi, total bases, average, on-base average, slugging percentage and OPS), the Cubs lead the Cardinals in EVERY SINGLE ONE. And the Cubs are four games behind the Cardinals, because the Cubs bullpen sucks and none of the starters, not a one, has been consistent.
In other words, the Cubs just managed to piss away a month in which the Cardinals didn’t do the one thing they can do (hit) because the Cubs didn’t do the one thing they can do (pitch)…or supposedly can do.
This is a helluva way to win a pennant.
Dusty tried to enlighten the unwashed masses of reporters by talking about how to set up a batting order. Tha’ts funny, because Dusty has no clue.
I’ll give you a line, and you tell me who, or what this is.
At bats: 75
Hits: 17
Runs: 11
Doubles: 2
Homers: 2
RBI: 8
Walks: 3
Strikeouts: 12
Batting Average: .226
Slugging Percentage: .300
Take a look at that. Especially the boffo numbers next to strikeouts and walks and that hard to fathom slugging percentage.
You know what this?
That’s the Cubs production out of the third spot in their lineup this year.
Excuse me while I sit here and go blind.
And this is with Corey Patterson’s .346 average hitting third. Of course, that also comes with a .346 on base average over the same span.
You’ll be hard pressed to find any Major League team, especially one that is actually at .500 with numbers like that from the third spot in their order.
Now we’re finding out that in order to take the heat off of Dusty for not batting Derrek Lee third, the Cubs have decided to make Ryan Dempster the closer. This is great news.
For batters all over the National League.
Wait, are we talking about the Ryan Dempster who averages better than three walks per nine innings? Because really, who needs to have control to be a closer?
This is when Jim Hendry looks up from the pie he’s eating without use of his hands and tells us that Dempster has the perfect “makeup” to be a closer.
I don’t care if he’s more made up than Michael Jackson on Halloween, if he can’t throw strikes, this is going to be a disaster.
Besides, if he goes to the bullpen and Kerry Wood goes on the DL with another one of his yeast infections, who’s going to fill their spots in an already underproducing starting rotation? What, is Glendon going to start every two days?
You can’t even call up the Meat Tray because he’s throwing batting practice in Iowa every five nights.
This whole thing just makes no sense.
But what makes even less sense is that I actually care about it.
Which reminds me of someting Len and Bob talked about yesterday that had me throwing things at the TV. They talked about how Dusty’s proud of the team because they play so hard.
I’d like to know what team he’s watching then, because the one Comcast and WGN are televising has a lot of guys who wouldn’t run out a grounder if they were being chased by a grizzly bear.
I always got the impression that Nomar hustled, Jerry Hairston seems to and Jeromy Burnitz certainly does. But Corey never does. On Friday he could have beaten out an infield grounder to The Beege but he was too busy slowing down before he got to the bag to avoid a tag by Jeff Bagwell. E-ramis never runs hard. I’m convinced there’s nothing wrong with his groin. He just says there is so he has an excuse to loaf.
I don’t get it. When I played every time I hit a grounder I sprinted to first. Mostly because I was pissed that I’d just hit a grounder. Sometimes, you actually beat them out, or even better, you make a loafing infielder (like The Beege) suddenly have to make a quick throw and he throws it away. But not these Cubs. They can’t be troubled to give you an honest effort and run hard 90 feet. Even Michael Barrett, who seems like the kind of guy who would annoy other teams with things like hustle and constant whining, always pulls up about 20 feet shy of first base on any “routine” play.
If they don’t care, why should we?
A couple of observations about the Cubs so far:
First, “Wavin'” Wendell has simply been replaced with “Come On” Chris. Terrible coaching at third all weekend.
Second, I stated early on that I don’t like Jerry Hairston as a ballplayer and nothing has changed my opinion. I don’t know what all the fuss is about him being a lead-off guy. He has a huge hole in his swing (every pitcher busts him inside) and he is no better than Walker defensively at 2B.
Lee has to hit third, and Corey needs to move to sixth or seventh. It’s that simple. When Walker gets back, he can hit second following Neifi.
Dusty is still a moran.
I should be playing every day. Until I do, this team has no chance.
Gee. I don’t get to bash Korey anyomore! Everyone beats me to it.
Are the pics working?
Test 1
Test 2 [img]http://us.news3.yimg.com/img.news.yahoo.com/util/anysize/380,http%3A%2F%2Fus.news2.yimg.com%2Fus.yimg.com%2Fp%2Fap%2F20050501%2Fcapt.hta10205012045.cubs_astros__hta102.jpg[/img]
I heartily agree. Corey Patterson in my humble opinion and other than a few decent plays in the outfield has been a bust. Jason d should be playing all the time. Why didn’t Glendon get an automatic starting role based on how he pitched last year? No we have to give the starting spot to dumpster to justify his existance and prove how POWERFULL our farm system is-what a joke. I knew from watching the first two games this year that we were going to suck and suck we do.
From my steamin’ pile in yesterday’s Tribune:
“For the second year in a row, manager Tony La Russa has taken a seemingly vulnerable team and gotten it off to a flying start. ”
The Cardinals started out 13-13 in 2004.
Flying like a pig, I’d say.
So I guess that means the Cubs, too, also are off to a “flying” start.
I am King Of All Morans.
The series will be tied 2-2 after tonight, fellas.
STREETWISE!
I’m selling cars!
http://vo.dealerimpact.com/JNCS/images/base/200/MERCURY/MOUNTAINEER/2005/5OD.JPG
Let me try that again…
“Mercury Mountaineer. Always bring the good stuff!”
I rode the short bus all night last night. And, no, that wasn’t supposed to be a comedy I starred in on CBS, despite all the laughter from the viewers.
Kerry:
Don’t be a dumbass. You have a future in Buicks, Pontiacs and GMCs, not Ford products.
FORD- Fix or Repair Daily! Just like me.
http://www.thetimesonline.com/articles/2005/04/27/news/off_beat/117d62e9eb2d1efd86256fef007b6ad2.txt
Thanks to the good folks at Lincoln-Mercury, you can have lunch with me! Woo hoo! Buy some more cars!
Off-beat? Beat-off? I’m gay!
With a starter already on the shelf for an undetermined length of time and me on the way back shortly, why is Dempster going to the bullpen?
Do yourself a favor, go over to the Baseball Blog at http://www.wgntv.com/baseballblog and read the dumb assed responses. We’ve got to all go hang out with Walter Maley. The dude is insightful!
Too bad I’m not still with the Cubs…
“The one thing we’re convinced of is that throwing strikes is more important than throwing the hardest when it comes to the closer role,” Giants assistant GM Ned Colletti says.
Andy is funny this year, just not as funny as two years ago.
Cecil Gibson claims Ernie Banks stiffed his grandpa.
I’m tanned, I’m rested, I’m ready. Tell Preston Gomez to fuck off for me.
Keep an eye on the Best. Comment. Ever.
I wrote in as Ernie and said…
Bone done got stiffed…in 1966!
Let’s see if they publish that.
I am the king of the 315 foot homer and Adam Everett is my heir apparent. I also get more cheap hits than Carl Everett and Joe Crede combined.
Dinosaurs ain’t fucking real.
what do you think len and bob?
Wally, that’s an interesting question. I think dinosaurs can be an important part of any ballclub. I had a few when I managed the Diamondbacks to a World Series: Mark Grace, Randy Johnson, Curt Schilling, Steve Finley, Matt Williams. They were old and slow, but Johnson and Schilling were pretty effective, while Grace was busy banging fat chicks and jockeying for my job. So fuck Grace. But the rest were OK by me.
we are the real reason this team is going down the drain.
thanks a lot for all the sell outs you’ll give us this year.
we think our “hybrid” team (50% triple A and 50% mlb) is exciting!
hope you enjoy your 76 win season.
hey buddies, miss me yet, buddies? i’m the reason buddies
this oriole team buddies is doing so good buddies i’m so happy buddies,
that i’m resenting the inference right now buddies
Hey Sammy, I know a place in Prince George’s County that sells really hot tacos. Just watch out for guys with folded up Nats hats in their pockets. The place sells pepsi too, mang.
I resent the inference that baby sheep’s grandslam was my fault. Did I throw the pitch? Look I know I don’t call a game as well as say, Chris Widger or Ass Jockey Pierzynski, but gimme a break.
Friday night’s win started the weekend with a bang. But of course, Kerry Wood decided to put a real quick end to that. Instead, Mrs. Wood had some more snatch cramps in his rubber arm and decided to pull the plug early on pitching again.
Did I not say Kerry Wood would be this year’s punching bag like Sammy was last year? But at least Sammy actually put up some real numbers in the past instead of this simulated or make believe crap that Wood develops in his own mind. I’d say the organization is on its last leg with what’s left of that 20 strikeout performance. Kerry Wood might as well start investing that free money he’s making this year and next because I don’t think their is a dumber organization then the Cubs that would sign him to a wealthy contract come 2007. FINISHED, FINISHED, FINISHED, FINISHED, FINISHED.
What is with Aramis here lately too? For once he actually plays 3 days straight and he acts like a complete lazy ass. His effort lately is at 30%. I know you just hit the lottery with that big booty sized contract, but give at least 70%. Aramis is probably the only guy in the league that would hit a ground rule double and insist that he stay at first base because his lazy ass doesn’t feel like running to second.
Last but not least is this situation with Dusty not playing Dubois instead of Mulletsworth. Wake up you fat bastard, the numbers don’t lie, Todd has had a month now to prove himself and Dubois as had a couple at bats. The numbers calculate better with Dubois no matter if it’s a lefty or a righty, he’s still hitting and will hit better then Todd. Mulletsworth is better off the bench anyway.
I’ve already had enough of this .500 team. With a manager that keeps saying his team is playing hard losing games, what more can we expect?
Baker Basher
Please stop in on my blog and comment a little, Basher.
…gets sucked dry when the asshole above me insists on fositing his irritating shit on each and evryone of us.
hey Baker Basher–what the fuck did we do to you that you must subject us to your tortuous ramblings?
I do agree with Baker Basher that since Aramis signed his big contract, he’s been a lazy fuck. That’s not good. Mang.
And ARam’s getting LARGER.
Seriously, the Cubs haven’t had such limited range at the hot corner since the one year Keith Moreland played there–1987. Since he did so well there last year, it’s fair to wonder why Ramirez all of a sudden feels a need to eat all the time.
Hey dudes, you come by and tell me I’m lazy to my face and I’ll make sure you got some groin pain, too. Know what I mean? My range is good as always, it’s just the peetchers this year, theeee other teams is hitting the ball at me faster. It’s their fault.
Thanks for the $$$ suckers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
Am I the dumbest show on television?
Almost.
what do you think len and bob?
Well, Wally, that’s a good question. I’d say that the dumbest show on TV isn’t really that easy to define. I mean different people like different kinds of shows.
Oh, who am I kidding, the dumbest show on TV is the f@#$ing Trifecta on ESPN.
Why do people watch me?
We’re down 18 in the 4th, it’s gunne be 2-2.
Home to Madison…
Hank White likes to eat me.
Haha, we played like sh!t for 40 minutes and then our scrubs got us to within 7. Now people will think we still have a chance in this series!
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