The Cubs’ front office and trainers seem to be pretty happy right now with the news that Carlos Zambrano just has tennis elbow. They even went so far as to say he can probably make his next start against the White Sox, either Friday or Saturday.
This, is of course, sheer lunacy. Even for the Cubs who do dumb things better than anybody.
What a sensible organization would do is breathe a sigh of relief that nothing major is wrong with their prized 23 year old, rest him and make sure he’s healthy before they let him hurl the pelota again.
Not the Cubs.
They want to “prove” he’s healthy by sending him out there again to win an all-important crosstown game with the dreaded White Sox.
You know what I want?
I mean, other than to stop writing in one sentence paragraphs like Rick Telander?
I want Carlos’ arm to actually be healthy the next time he throws a baseball. Because even if he’s not around to beat the Sox on Saturday, I’d like him around later in the month and later in the season and next season and beyond.
The Cubs are fading fast, not only in the NL Central, but also in the Wild Card where even if the Dodgers and Diamondbacks die slow deaths, the Cubs will still have to catch either Florida or Atlanta. So the immediate urge is to do whatever you can to win the next game. That’s the only way you’ll get back into it.
But the urge, in the case of using Carlos this weekend, is wrong. It seems like the Cubs new trainer, Mark O’Neal, is unlike his predecessors in that he actually seems to have a brain in his head, so if he tells the Cubs they can use Carlos, he’s probably right. But all tennis elbow is, is tendonitis. It’s tendonitis in the forearm that sends a pain up the forearm into your elbow. If you’re going to get an elbow injury as a pitcher, you’re glad it’s this and not the dreaded Tommy John Disease.
But the only “cure” for tendonitis is rest. You want the affected tendon to heal, you don’t use it. It heals, you work out, you get the strength back and then you go like hell. Having Carlos throw a side session today isn’t exactly rest. Unless of course, he’s going to be pitching lefthanded, which, in Carlos’ case, is highly likely.
This is a guy, who during the rally the Nationals had in the fourth inning on Saturday night was spotted by the TV cameras standing on top of the mound, the ball in his glove jumping straight up and down and slamming his heels together in frustration. This is not a sane man, we’re dealing with. We love the big fella, but if you have to hit him with a taser to keep him from throwing for a week, well taser him up.
You wonder if the reason the Cubs won’t rule out his start this weekend is because they’re all afraid to tell him. You can picture a meeting before today’s afternoon workout in Pittsburgh where Dusty Baker, Larry Rotschild, Jim Hendry and O’Neal are all standing around saying, “You tell him.” “No, you tell him.” “Ah, screw it, let him pitch. Pitching will do less damage to his arm than trying to beat one of us to death with it.”
Regardless of whatever happens with the career of Kerry Wood, the Cubs are in the enviable position of having absurdly young, absurdly good pitchers in Carlos and The Franchise. Is it really so much to ask that they actually be healthy when they pitch?
If this was September and the Cubs were in the hunt, I could see throwing him back out there if you really felt like he could pitch through it. But it’s May and the Cubs have shown no signs of doing anything this year other than losing one-run games and hitting the bank on the first and fifteenth.
If it was my decision to make, there wouldn’t be a decision. Even if I had to tell Carlos through a speaker phone to avoid a pummeling.
I love that he wants to pitch. It’s what you want from a player. But this is when the grown ups are supposed to step in and explain that it’s in his best interest to rest.
Unfortunately, with the team spiraling into the abyss, it might not be in the best interests of the grownups short-term futures to rest him.
At any rate it makes you wonder.
————————
The Sun-Times, that bastion of journalistic brilliance predicts that the Cubs will add a veteran “backup” infielder today, allowing them to send Ronny Cedeno back to Des Moines where he’ll actually play. It’s curious, because Dusty has been talking for a few days like maybe he’d rather use Ronny and Neifi than Neifi and Jerry.
So what veteran middle infielders are out there? The Phillies don’t seem too keen on trading Placido Polanco right now, though they did just pick up the great Endy Chavez, ending their absurd notion that they needed Placido in case another outfielder went down. Polanco’s a nice player, and he’d be a much better option at third when E-ramis’ back locks up, than Jose Macias. But in a few weeks could you really play Polanco and Todd Walker together up the middle? This only works if you have Corey play shallow enough in center to try and throw out guys at first on all the grounders that will be seeping through the infield.
More likely it’s going to be somebody even less exciting than Placido (as if that’s possible). Somebody like the Rangers’ Mark De Rosa or the Royals Tony Graffanino.
Maybe the Cubs want to get Tony in time for the Sox series so he can lose a game by fielding a grounder at third and settling for a force at the bag, when there really wasn’t a force there. Ahh, that was fun.
Whoever they get, and whenever they actually get one, prepare to be underwhelmed.
————————–
Luis Gonzalez must have a little Moises Alou in him. Maybe it’s a left-field at Wrigley thing. We ought to keep an eye on Rondell White and see if he goes off on the Tigers’ broadcasters, or maybe Henry Rodriguez will throw a hissy fit at a cabana boy at whatever luxury resort he’s “retired” to.
But here’s what I love about the media reaction to the players’ criticizing the broadcasters. They always, without fail, defend their own, the broadcasters. While lots of the fans side with the players because they think the broadcasters in question are condescending assbags. How many of us disagreed with what Moises or Kent Mercker said about Chip? How many of us think tHom Brennaman needs a good ass kicking? And yet the media will make it sound like the player is showing a deep insecurity by complaining about the broadcasters.
We live in a country where you have the right to complain about anything. It doesn’t mean that what you’re complaining about is going to change, but you can piss and moan if you want. Luis has the right to complain, and tHom has the right to expect his bosses with the Diamondbacks to back him up. Now if Luis goes all Deion Sanders on tHom and starts throwing buckets of cold water on him, as amusing as that might be, well, then you’ve got a problem. But if all he’s doing is complaining? God bless him.
I’ve swam in OB’s pool before. Its not like it was filled with sharks or anything. This has William Shatner’s name written all over it.
It’s kinda creepy to know I’ve been someplace pretty specific where someone has died.
That’s when you can decide whether you want to invest any more time, effort and money in this year’s edition.
That’s the first day off after 20 games in 20 days and once that is over, those of you who have already written off the season, as well as those of us who naively hope for a turnaround, can come to a consensus.
I mean, really now, what’s another couple of weeks of blown saves, rally-killing double plays and unfortunate lineup decisions? Plus, as an added bonus, many of us may now qualify for degrees in sports medicine, given our vast knowledge of the inner workings of the human shoulder and elbow.
Soldier on ye tired, huddled masses yearning to breathe free (or at least live to see the day where a Cub pitcher records a 1-2-3 save in the 9th inning).
good morning from beautiful san diego, california, folks.
Honesty compels me to say that my buddy tHom is right, we just call’em as we see’em.
Dammit, Dave, you idiot! Maybe if you made more sandwiches for Scheyer, he’d come to Illinois.
I’m lookin’ at you, Chip Caray. You’ve already gone away. Now stay away.
Whining about Chip Caray jokes. Who cares if you think they’re funny? How hard is it to just roll your eyes, scroll one comment down and not worry about it? Christ.
We have long been a staple at Desipio. Every once in awhile, funny ones creep in there too, moran.
I love internet squabbles.
Its not about whining or who thinks whats funny. Its yesterday’s news, dig? Whats with the fascination with all things 2004? This town is so hung up on its sports history. Where else but Chicago could they have a million dollar marketing machine named “The Twentieth Anniversary Chicago Bears Super Bowl XX Championship Team”?
Chip Caray is a blip on the radar in Cubdom. Giving constant attention to his bleating and making jokes about him are the resort of a desperate fan trying to keep the gimick alive. It’s over. Move on.
How hard is it to just not post your stupid, lame “jokes”? No one wants to read them, so stop posting them. It isnt about us ignoring you. Annoyance is hard to ignore. Go annoy somewheres else.
That phrase is from the dinosaur age. You move on.
i must admit, i wondered what those assclowns on WGN were saying when my boy Mench hit the 2nd bomb last night and i was screaming “HE GONE! HE GONE!” at my tv. that’s the most ridiculous line i’ve ever heard, no doubt you guys hate it even more than me.
Can you guys tell jokes about how bad I was?
I use this when the lame-o Chip jokes come up. They are trotted out too often and lost their effectiveness when Chip fled town ahead of the pitchforks and torches, but it’s easy to ignore. I see where the No-Chip-Jokes whiner is coming from: The jokes really are unfunny. But use the ignore switch and move on.
I will say, I hope for more creativity from the Desipio readers when reaching for that next great gimmick. If you can put a new twist on an old favorite, fine, but leave the re-runs to yesteryear. Or ignore them. Dealer’s choice.
Holy Cow!
I really thought Annnnn-dre made a nice catch there, Dewayne, and his throw from right field, where he plays, was excellent as it got to Berryman, the catcher, in time, and got the runner, Dykstra, tagging up from third, which is what you do when the batter flies out deep to right. Great play all around.
Ever.
Carlos should not and I repeat should not take the mound against the Sux on Friday. I like his heart in the fact that he doesn’t want to go the Pussy Wood route. But really, the Cubs aren’t going anywhere in the standings this year except down.
This is an important stretch in the next two weeks to get wins, but there is no reason to blow up your best pitcher’s arm.
If the bullpen did its job and Dusty actually managed it right for a change, maybe these starters wouldn’t get hurt as much.
The blame needs to go on Jim Hendry for assembling that piece of shit bullpen. I am going to start Hendry Heckling as well as Baker Bashing because with these two clowns at the helm, these Cubs are doomed.
FDAJF=Fuck Dusty And Jim Forever
Baker Basher
You dipshits wouldn’t know funny if it jumped up and bit you in the ass.
a debate on what’s funny and not funny followed by a Baker Basher post. Must be a rough day.
It’s called irony. Look it up.
Dave Veres. That’s it, that’s the joke…Dave Veres.
Do you think I will at least try to look presentable this weekend? I mean looking like Bill Bellichick is okay, but in baseball a manager usually sometimes wears a jersey, not that scummy hooded sweayshirt.
How come basketball coaches and hockey coaches generally wear suits, but baseball managers wear a uni and football coaches wear anything short of Zubas?
Here’s funny:
> Jeff Van Gundy in a Rockets jersey, hairy shoulders and all.
> Mike Scoscia in a 3-piece suit, sweating through the jacket after the walk out to the mound.
> Tony LaRussa’s mullet touching the collar of his pressed white shirt (with ring around the collar).
> Don Nelson in a Mavs jersey, stretching the limits of the fabric.
> Dusty Baker in SeanJon.
This is not pretty
Tex, Hawk doesn’t call opposing home runs, so he didn’t say anything. He just kind of sighed, then gave the score.
And that homer Mench hit was a shot.
Put me in, coach, I’m ready!
Don’t look me up. I want nothing to do with any of this crap.
It’s taco night at my house this evening. I invited Aramis and Hank, but they are out of town. This means i will have bad taco gas for the next week.
I thought I was the only piece of crap that came from Baltimore. Enrique you stand no chance of playing with me here.
We’ll be backing up the Franchise tonight!
I can play first too, you know. That could be a great infield!!!!
Let’s hope Prior wore his hitting shoes tonight!
it’s Berryhill, not Berryman
Oh, yes, Berryhill. Dennis Berryhill, our catcher. He’s really done good for us this year as our catcher, catching all the pitcher’s throws and providing a reliable left-handed bat when he bats as he is a left-handed hitter. I sometimes mess up names when I give my hard-hitting analysis, so please excuse me, and please remember that when Ron Santo and Bob Brenly replaced me in 1990, it was considered an upgrade.
Howdy,folks. Honesty compels me to say that I am flabergasted by your support.
Me and my imaginary family back in Orlando thank you so very much. That’s what
good dear ole’ U.S. of A. is all about, folks.
Can’t wait to go visit the friendly confines again, in the meantime Hotlanta will do.
thanks again, folks.
Really, Dave, as histrionically uncompetent as you had been in your tremor with the Cubs, not one analyzer can get anywhere close to my incredulous butchering of the English language.
I was pretty sure it was written Berryman on purpose. Regardless, it was funny, and sadly true. Dave Nelson replaced Jim Frey in the booth and actually made Frey seem good by comparison. Awful. After following that dreck maybe Santo does deserve the Frickin’ Ford Award.
“Easy fly to left……Brant Brown is going after the ball……OOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!……NOOOOOOOOOO!…………..”
hey Chip Caray jokes bashers, how’s the visibility?
Andy, you said I wouldn’t miss anything, right? I think I’ll continue to rest for awhile. You were right, my friend. You couldn’t be more correct.
I am a-ok there, Steve good buddy.
Carlos, call in sick this weekend.
I send you and your visitors my best greetings.
You have a good site, i enjoyed my stay!
Hi everyone A big thank you for this wonderful site, it has helped me immensely