Pitching matchup:
White Sox: Freddy Garcia, 3-3, 4.02 ERA
Cubs: Greg Maddux, 2-1, 4.15 ERA
White Sox
Scott “Supergay” Podsedndidnk, lf
Sum Jap, 2b
Aaron Rowand, cf (Really, he’s batting third?)
Paul Konerko, 1b (fat girls love Paulie)
AJ Eyechart, c
Jermaine Dye, rf
Juan or Jose or Somebody Uribe, ss
Joe Crede, 3b
Fred Garcia, p
Cubs
Jerry Hairston the Lesser, 2b
Todd Hollandsworth, lf
Derrek Lee, 1b
Jeromy Burnitz, rf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Corey Patterson, cf
Neifi!, ss
Hank White, c
Greg Maddux, p
Maddux throwing to Blanco today.
And George Ofman just reported that Sox 3B coach Joey Cora got lost on the way to Wrigley. Dumb ass.
This batting cage footage is so pointless and boring.
he kept pulling in the wrong McD’s parking lot…..
I only got lost because those evil Cubbies made me park 32.8 miles away from the stadium. When the Cubs play at our field, I let Chris Spier park right next to my car — only 2.4 miles away.
Hey, I’m hitting second today.
Um…Walker, hurry back.
Joey get off at the wrong El stop?
?
Hollandsworth is hitting .364 lifetime against Freddy Garcia lifetime. 4-for-11 with 4 walks and 4 K’s. I guess that’s what Dusty’s looking at?
We are what Dusty consulted for today’s lineup. We also recommended Andrew Lorraine get called up on Tuesday to face the Astros. Of course, we also think Steve Lake would be a good backup catcher.
it’s a good thing you can’t smell me through the computer, because one of us just had 13 Slyders and 2 chicken n cheese. Whew…
He Gone!
i am what the cubs will do to the sucks
You’re right, I am a dumb ass!!!
You guys think that only beacuse we have played bad teams all year, that it’s the only reason we are win…er…uh…um…well the Rangers are awesome, and we beat them, so there. Aaron Rowand for MVP!
are here
Lineups:
SUX
1. S. Podsednik, LF
2. T. Iguchi, 2B
3. A. Rowand, CF
4. P. Konerko, 1B
5. A. Pierzynski, C
6. J. Dye, RF
7. J. Uribe, SS
8. J. Crede, 3B
9. F. Garcia, P
CUBS
1. J. Hairston Jr., 2B
2. T. Hollandsworth, LF
3. D. Lee, 1B
4. J. Burnitz, RF
5. A. Ramirez, 3B
6. C. Patterson, CF
7. N. Perez, SS
8. H. Blanco, C
9. G. Maddux, P
You misspelled the team names….
It’s SOX
and….
SCRUBS
Please make a note of it
Maddux will have to be a lot like me today to get out of this mismatch alive. Even with reinforced steel chains, multiple padlocks and a straightjacket, I was never shackled as bad as Greggie is today.
Dear Lower Deck,
There are many heavyset Polish women in Konerko jerseys sitting up high today.
Look out below.
Sincerely,
Upper Deck
Dear Upper Deck,
Are they sitting next to the ones wearing Nomar jersey that are always here?
If so, we’ll move all the Sammy jersey under them. Might as well get as many as we can when you fall apart.
Sincerly,
The Lower Deck
Uh, “Johhny,” I wouldn’t be lecturing anyone on spelling…
Either that, or we peed on it.
I’m sure that’s how you spell SCRUBS.
I’m not so sure that’s how you spell Johnny, though.
How about they have Macias catch Jennie Finch’s first pitch and give her a softball. Maybe she can put the Gremlin out for the season?
At least his spelling of Johnny is more original than his knickname for the Cubs…
When my testes drop will I be able to talk louder?
I whistle louder when I have nothing!
[Snort] Pair of sixes!
Major, here… [offering money] from the orphans.
Who started references of me, and why? Just curious what import the first Winchester reference had.
We’re closed today so we can watch our Whitttttttttte Sox.
Wait, we got it. It was a jab at Plesac’s low voice.
You’re always wrong, Intrepid Reader: M*A*S*H.
That’s what’s so right about you!
Ouch!
Take that you running Sox biatches
You no puede steal bases on me.
That’s what the Sox get for trying the Jap play.
Nice inning
Ahh, that small ball sure is cute.
Isn’t that what Wendell Kim plays?
who took the spring out of my glove??
Office productivity is at it’s all time lowest in this place.
Gen. Hammond: Yeah, yeah, we put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun. Special services in Tokyo says it’s one of the best gimmicks we’ve got to keep the American way of life going here in Asia.
Colonel Blake: Betting?
Gen. Hammond: No, football.
I don’t blow, I suck.
My productivity is at an all time low, too
That one didn’t have the distance.
Don’t worry, I won’t make you do any running, Derrek
Don’t you dare test my arm! I’m known as the white Henry Blanco.
Wow, we’re giving Joe Crede lots of work today.
I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I’ll carry your books, I’ll carry a torch, I’ll carry a tune, I’ll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I’ll even ‘hari-kari’ if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.
I sought OJ drove the White Blanco, not AJ……..
Jocularity! Jocularity!
Choppers!
Ah, Bach! That’s highly significant!
Dry Martini, Mr Quang!
Don’t worry – I don’t steal bases.
Remember, I’m supposed to be an upgrade over Dubois in LF…
I’m presenting the Cubs-Sox series
Nice defense, infield
Greg Maddux is making today feel like me again.
Whose feed is on the web today?
Sox Idiots or Cub Idiots?
No, I’m not pressing.
Here comes da K.
Well, at least he didn’t swing at a ball over his head.
Chuck, you called it…
I am an unstoppable offensive force that the White Sox will be unable to contain.
How did Neifi get on?
Gold Glover I’m not
Morph:
I had a 28% chance of being right.
I will make it 2-0 in one swing.
It’s Hero Time…
I’ve eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish. I’ve eaten so much fish, I’m ready to grow gills. I’ve eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I’m smothered in bacon and onions.”
WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE!
The Sox have 48 stolen bases on the year, the Cubs have 21…
you take it from there.
…
Wow, I’ve got power!
What? Maddux can drill our guys, but we can’t drill theirs?
Better hope I don’t get injured … I have like half of those SB.
Thanks DJ… you limp noodle sonuvabitch
Damn Hawk is horrible! Which radio guys are better, the Cubs or the White Sox?
Nobody sees me come, and nobody sees me go. I am the wind.
With me bent over like this in this neighborhood, I wonder why my back hurts?
Thanks for tossing me off the show after 5 episodes, you no good, cracker motherf#$%ers.
You could replace Harrelson with a speak-n-say of my catchphrases and no one would know the difference.
He sucks.
I made an error?
Tom,
John Rooney and I are by far the better….
…
silence
…
…
…
You know, back when I pitched for St. Rita, we had a game against Brother Rice…
…
silence
…
…
…
and it was the third inning..
…
…
and I threw a breaking ball.
…
…
wtf??
zzzz…
…
oh, what was that Ed>
Don’t look at my left hand.
What there is of it…
I’m back in Hairston’s glove
Hey, Radar. Take yur fucking hand back!
Sit on it, Greggie!!
A single to Hairston? Could someone explain what happened?
I suck
Like my father and his father, I’m just doing my best to help the White Sox win games.
I get the sense this is gonna be a 1-0 game.
Ahh, maybe I’ll get a chance to play today yet!
Hairston is killing this team. Would Fontenot or E. Wilson be any worse? I cannot recall a worse defensive second baseman in modern Cubs history. Piece of crap.
Hollandsworth in the 2-hole. There’s his numbers at the bottom of your screen… frankly folks, I’m too embarassed to say them out loud.
I strike again and take away a 2nd homer.
Did Hawk actually say that?
Cubs need me to come back … as a defensive upgrade!
Frankly, folks, I’m embarrassed I walked him.
Ahem.
Hannibal. He was a darkie, you know.
Hollandsworth in the 2-hole. There’s his numbers…
(They were at the bottom of the screen and there was a silence, plus how can you not be embarassed)
He said it in the 1st inning though
It’s true, I trotted this lineup out today in attempt to get fired. Tomorrow, Macias will play too.
And who are the studs I should be playing? Dude?
Ahem.
And??
I own Greg Maddux.
Mulletsworth got a hit on Wednesday in the 9th inning. Because of that unfortunate moment, Dusty will have Todd penciled in at LF for the next month.
And anybody but Macias. Hell, I’d have Pat Hughes play 3rd before I’d let Macias on the field.
… and it wasn;t even a hit. Daryle Ward should have had it.
two singles on me………wtf???????
This 4th inning is brought to you by Staples
WTF is Hairston doing out there? How have two people singled to him?
powerhouse, maybe Dusty will bench Hollandsworth for walking.
:::Dusty will have Todd penciled in at LF for the next month:::
That, and DuBois’ penchant for playing singles into triples. And striking out at a faster clip than Korey.
Hmm……..Wilson, Greive, Macias. Lots of options, there Jason
Enjoy that walk. It goes great with my .208 average.
Yea, I’ll go 2 for 30, you know I’m a badass.
How many pitch K this time? I go with 4.
!!!!
Perhaps Mr. Hendry should get off his lazy ass and do something.
Looking like me today
Chuck=Hawkeye? He’s the only person I know who thinks that Dubois is a bad option.
I gotta go with Holly, dude. You mean to tell me the fluke 1 1/2 months of a career year that Holly had for us last year has no bearing on the situation. Holly gets the first shot, dude. Macias gets a shot because he’s my weed connection.
Chuck attended me, you know, morpheus.
All ist klar, Der Kommissar…
I OWN Maddux…
I don’t think that DuBois is a bad option. He’s just a bad left fielder and will end up a DH. I also never said that Holly was any better.
Aw, nuts. There goes my no-hitter. I was losing 1-0 before I blew the no-hitter. Now I am down 2-0. Only by the grace of Jerry Harriston did I have a 1-0 deficit without giving up a hit…
Dubois, Guzman, Kelton & Mitre for Aubrey Huff.
Could everyone live with this?
Go ahead and let me know and I’ll get the paperwork in order.
Can anyone tell me how Crede scored from second on a grounder to Hairston, in the third inning?
Boy, one of these teams doesn’t look too interested in being out thre today.
Better start getting a clue at the plate, because Jose Mesa isn’t coming in to close today.
Maddux is hitting his fifth-inning wall again today.
I’m hitting the magic 60 pitch mark. better get somebody up
Me of two home runs this season
I’m flattered
How about Huff for Prior?
How the hell are you gonna trade Angel Guzman? I thought he was being detained at Guantanamo.
Who the f$@! is Jason Yocum and why is he spewing nonsense on Desipio?
I’m kidding, just wanted to make CT happy… I don’t sleep so good at night when he’s unhappy.
Anyone? Bueller?
We are falling off…
Thanks Jim. That would explain why you’ve looked like shit since October of 2003.
Well, with the Cubs’ O, they might as well trail by 40.
I did us some good, eh?
Pat Hughes: “Cubs need some offense”
Yep, that pretty much sums up the whole f-ing season, Pat. Thanks for noticing.
Off day? That’s today, right?
I’m hitting?
I give you my vote of confidence, CT. Don’t worry, you’re not in danger of being smothered in BBQ sauce and devoured by me.
Maddux is staying in?
If someone would’ve told me on April 4 that the Cubs would be playing the White Sox six weeks later with Hairston, Neifi, and Blanco in the line-up instead of Walker, Nomar, and barrett, I would’ve called this team screwed.
Maddux is done folks. I just hope they’re able to avoid the innings that will kick next year into effect, or maybe Greg will have too much pride and just shut it down. He is still capable of an occasional masterpiece against the lesser teams with predominantly right-handed hitting line-ups, but he truly has become a five-inning pitcher and it doesn’t help with the bullpen the Cubs have.
Love those 8 pitch innings………
This Freddy Garcia is tough. The media is right, this team’s full of Cy Young candidates.
Here I come again…
No worries! We’re ready to step up into the 3rd, 4th and 5th starter roles next year.
Yeah, let me at ’em.
You’re not steppin’ into my spot in the rotation.
Better be ready for 1 and 2, also.
We’re stepping into your spot on the DL, Kerry.
75 pitches. My arm feels like concrete
See me mow down the bottom of the order? That’s why Dude let me hit last inning. Why waste Gremlin so early??
What a coincidence, my hands are like concrete.
Hi all! It’s me, the Rally Carp!
Rally carp! WOO!! Rally Carp! WOO!!!!
OK DLee… I’m the Rally Carp. Remember?
Great, now I’m gonna get fired because I laughed out loud at the rally Carp.
Don’t worry, CT. I’ll hire you to be my surfing instructor!
Woohoo! 2-out Rally Carp!
Surfing instructor……….BRILLIANT!
Can we only get men on base with two outs today?
Woohoo A-Ram! 2-out Rally Carp!
Behold the power of the Rally Carp, Corey!
Carp! WOO! Surf! WOO!
How many pitches Chuck?
Great, now I’d better not tell The Carp about Desipio.com tomorrow night. She might think she’s being lampooned.
By the way, today’s strike zone is as big as I’ve seen in a while. Looks like something I’d call in a JV game.
On the phone. How many so far?
Don’t be the Rally Karp
Dave, buy me a drink at the Lumberyard, and you can lampoon me all night.
Rally Carp, Corey!
I’m trying
2-2? Next pitch.
Same diff.
Dammit, Corey!
Don’t worry the Rally Carp will reappear in the seventh.
OK, time to show some testicular virility.
Hey look, I’m still pitching.
If you can call it that.
Sounds like there could be a bounty on The Carp.
That was easy.
What’d I miss?
And who let the Rainbow Warriors in the booth?
Holy crap, there are four women and five eyebrows.
Yeah, I don’t know anything about pitching.
Who needs the sell-out known as the Finch, when you have me, the Rally Carp!
Let’s go Neifi, Hank and Gremlin!
And a bounty on me, Dave?
I’m a big fan of the Rally Carp.
You haven’t missed much. Unless Kenny Williams swings a deal for Jose Mesa in the 8th inning, this one looks about over.
My personality is really something, isn’t it? I’m going to drive dozens and dozens of people to our games this year.
Neifi stole my shades.
Hendry, get into my office! I think you need to option the Panozzo to Triple-A and call up Carper, stat!
http://www.storewars.org/flash/
Brilliant.
And better acting.
Nice to see that Len is there to remind us that Brenly managed the Diamondbacks. Gosh, I know I’d forgotten.
Also, nice reaction to Jennie’s info that her sissy husband beat the Cubs for his first career win at Wrigley last year. Len says, “Nice.” When the appropriate reaction would have been, “Well f@#$ both of you, then.”
And Casey’s in AA now? Wow, sounds like his career is on the fasttrack! Next year, rookie ball or bust!
Hey Holly….. I can tell you the best way out of a slump. Go to any bar on Rush Sttreet and find the biggest woman you can and take her home. Always worked for me. I dissapointed more fat women than Jenny Craig!!!
Me necessito start hitting porque la Rally Carp is here!
That’s a double on the HWEqBA!
Woo hoo Hank! Woo hoo Iguchi!
I’d like to porque the Rally Carp.
Oh, wait, that’s pore-kay? Never mind.
7 innings…….3 ER. What more do you want from me?
They call me a pinch hitter, but I never swing.
Greggie,
How about a homer or two? Is that soooo much to ask?
Steal 3rd, Hank!
Did Dan just say that Tomas Perez has a tail?
I am so gonna find a way to make this at-bat into a double play.
How will I actually do something useful?
Can I rub the Rally Carp?
RBI, bitch! That gives me (counts fingers) two!
Woohoo Jerry the lesser! Rally Carp!
Rub me, Hollandsworth!
A chance to double my RBI total…
Nice work, Masur. “And now it’s a FOUR to one ball game.”
Shouldn’t that be, “And now it’s a four to ONE ball game.”
The Rally Carp is no fung!
This board is turning into the Carp version of Multiplicity.
Rub up on my shinguard, Rally Carp!
Ozzie: Throw strikes you Venezuelan f@#$!
Holly threw his bat into the stands, but everybody was saved when it got stuck in Governor Blago’s hair.
You think I am going to put in a lefty so that dusty is going to put in someone who can actually hit. F**K no
Two out magic!
That’s testicular virility to use 2 barrells of oil in my hair.
Who’s worse, Andy Masur or Todd Hollandsworth?
Or, it could be listening to Jennie Finch, who inexplicably is sticking around. Unless she’s sitting on Len’s lap, why does he want her to stay?
Not to worry, you have me, Short Bus and the Rally Carp coming up in the eighth. Now, all we need to do is all get on base and make it as difficult as possible for Corey to fuck it all up.
Gotta love how the software turns fuck into an e-mail address.
My knees are not strong enough to handle Jenny’s…um…girth.
Me gone!
Oh. That’s just the typist using a “@”? NEver mind.
A quality start. You ungrateful bastards…
Boo hoo Greggie, boo hoo.
That was a helluva hunch you had on Holly today, Dusty. That was a quality AB.
The girl holding the mic next to Finch looked OK, but the blonde dyke was smoked.
Look, a Remlinger sighting!
Mr. and Mrs. Carper will be so proud when they google little Jessie and the first result is Desipio instead of the Iowa Cubs.
HI EVERYBODY!
I see the Mike Remlinger Hostage Crisis is over.
This would have been a good inning for Joe to make his debut, too.
uhn-huh
How do we Google bomb “rally carp”
That ball had a fucken stewardess on it.
Guess i can’t get righties out, either
You make the words “Rally Carp” link to the page you want google to go to… i.e., Dick Gephardt people googlebombed “miserable failure” by making those two words link to W’s White House biography.
I am washed up.
Remmy,
Better to be a hasbeen than a Neverwill
C’mon DLEE!
The Cubs are using me today.
OK, E-Ram. Behold the power of the Rally Carp!
I have to have some magic in me… 5 runs worth of magic, in fact.
Maddux is a 5 inning pitcher? Ha… Remlinger though, is a 0 inning pitcher and is at the end of his rope. Trade him for another Enrique Wilson type. You can never have enough of those. The Cubs have 3 already.
The rally carp is false. Ever since laying eyes on her, I have been 0 for 15. I need to talk to gracie
When does Enrique get to make his debut? I’m sure he’s just the kind of jolt this offense needs.
What do you mean only three enrique types
The rally of a half dozen runs begins with a one out walk.
To Jeromy Burnitz.
In the eighth.
Wait, I’m qualifying this too much, aren’t I?
Rally carp is good eatin’!
Please believe me.
Woo hoo! C’mon A-Ram! Way to Go Short Bus!
So, to google bomb here, we should have a tag like this:
>A href=”http://www.iowacubs.com”>Rally Carp
Hey, just think of me as the Jeff Blauser of the bullpen.
Did Plesac really just say, “All you have to do here is get a hit, then a three-run homer and then you’re right back in the game”?
Yikes.
You mean this?
Rally Carp
We need what 4 runs, dude. I need to send Mr. Burns to make for a really exciting ninth
I’m clogging the bases.
I wouldn’t need ta borrow a paring knife to filet THAT Rally carp. I got one with me already.
Or this?
Rally Carp
BTW, Vizcaino is their LaTroy this year.
Rally Carp
F-you Rally Carp. You can’t break me out of my slump. I keep me in my slump myself.
Len is reading an e-mail from a guy named Greg who still can’t figure out why the Cubs have the names on the back of “one” of their jerseys.
Greg needs to beaten with an obvious stick.
Jeezus, Andy, I follow yer link, and the effin’ Meat Tray is starin’ at me!!
Woohoo Corey! Forget the Rally Carp! You’ve got the Rally Fisch!
Rally Carp
Another test
I’m guessing the Rally Fisch cleans her snack bar. I’m betting the Rally Carp, not so much.
For the Love of the Game? Jeesh.
Fuck that asswipe.
Kelly Preston, mmmm
Rally Fisch? Ouch.
Nice job Corey.
Here comes Regular Joe.
Learning new ways to strike out since 2002
I can strike out without taking the bat off my shoulder.
I’m multidimensional !!
Which asswipe, Chuck?
NOW Corey decides to try “plate discipline?”
Hawk the gay pirate?
Yeeeeeeeee—eessssssssssssssssssss!
I’ll bet of his last 10 K’s he’s been out looking six times. Even when he tries to have a clue he has no clue.
Oh. Never mind.
(insidious laugh) A-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa… these guys just will not give in. Vizcaino goes after his hitter with a 3-2 slider, forcing Ramirez to pop-up. I’ve never seen such guts.
This Sox team is somethin’ special folks. If I were 15 years younger, I’d stroke all of ’em.
Cubs Suck! Cubs Suck!
I’m back
This is a save opportunity, right?
You’re right, Hawk.
OK, gang. I have banished the Rally Fisch, so I’ll be providing the 5-run shellacking of Dustin Hermanson in the ninth!
Oops.
Try this one. Sorry guys, I’m nervous. You’re all so…creepy!
This Sox team is somethin’ special folks. If I were 15 years younger, I’d stroke all of ‘em.
You’d hafta take off yer eye patch first, Hawk. Them guys like the crusty-eye facial.
Or if you stroke them off now, that would be a one eyed monster servicing another one eyed monster
Yikes.
You do not want to look up the Rally Cox. Trust me.
Joe’s first fastball had something extra on it.
Ivy.
Janelle’s from my neck o’ the woods. Which means she was born in a double-wide trailer. And her daddy never DID get the Trans-Camaro running
Chip is going to be spitting mad. Plesac not only said that Lee is the best defensive first baseman, but added, “He’s the best and I don’t even know who you’d say is next. Maybe Dougie Eyechart.”
OK, he didn’t say Dougie Eyechart, he said the stupid pollock’s name.
Extra Ivory?
I’m back, bitches!
Jesus, it’s not that f#$%ing hard! 1-2-3. I see I’ll have to save this team all by myself. Fine.
Oh, and Corey, thanks for climbing the vines for that first one.
I AM going to send you Cubs fans back home with a smile on your face.
OK guys, rub me a couple times to get the magic going!
Damn it Joe. Why did you leave me in this shit hole. Maybe I need to talk to that Videgar intern
Woohooo Neifi! Let’s go!
The way Dye hit that ball, I don’t care if El Nino’s swirling around out in left field, you can put it on the board.
I see that http://www.sweat.com does exist, and that it gives you a handy link to mesothelioma.
Hey, how was Hank White’s “double” not the drive of the game?
And if Pat Hughes says that the Cubs-Sox series is sponsored by that goddamned office supply store one more time, I’m going Milton Bradley on somebody.
Joe, I let you use my camper for two weeks. The least you could have done was…flushed. Ewww.
Woohoo! Neifi!!! Woohoo!
Hold everything! Hank White is up and the Rally Carp is going!
Time for a tater!
We won’t let you play any games, Milton Bradley.
“stupid pollock’s ”
Isn’t that redundant?
Just missed it.
Hey, see you guys tomorrow!
I will make Desipio.com the first site to appear when I google myself if it kills me!
All right, Enrique, meet the Rally Carp!
I miss his whining… not!
Hank:
20 minutes on high in the clubhjouse microwave for your tater. Sour cream’s in the fridge.
Here’s my fave Iowa intern
Good Morning, Quad Cities! I definitely clean MY snack bar
Time to stick me behing enrique?
Here’s Enrique!
They even gave him Lenny Harris’ number.
OK, Two-out magic here..
OK, Two-out magic here..
Fuck it, I am going to hibernate for the rest of the year.
“I like our chances” – Ron Santo
Ron, I don’t like your chances to wake up each day.
Time for Little Jerry to get beaned.
Some fat dope is yelling, “Bring back Stoney! Bring back Stoney!”
How about bringing in somebody who can hit? Nah.
Two out with Hairston up and Hollandsworth on deck? Who WOULDN’T like those chances.
85% of the fuckin world works for a living. The rest of them come here and google bomb my daughter! A fuckin playground for the cocksuckers!
Tomorrow I shut the Sox out with my right arm until it falls off, then I finish up with my left!
Can Korey shred his knee again? Even just doa Al Czervik and say he did? Force Hendry to get some O?
G-d damn it.
Now, I am going to have to go through all those drunk @sses before I get to my sh!tty car. I hate this dump
We score one run and you can’t even find a spot for me to pinch hit? The managing is just swell.
When Corey shreds his knee again, that means you get two months of me until Jim finally tries to find a replacement!
Be careful what you wish for.
Who’s Trent Hubbard?
The best thing about Barrett being hurt is that Dusty’s afraid to use Macias in case Hank gets hurt and he needs an emergency catcher.
Thank heavens for small favors.
I now will qualify as an ex-cub the next time I get to a world series
Hey, at least I’m a celebrity!
I’m just saving runs for Zambrano and Prior… and for when Baker decides to put together a real lineup.
Me, Trenidad! Tearing up the PCL for the Carperiffic I-Cubs!
Who said anything about being a buyer. Sell Sell Sell
Was Barrett not available today?
Thanks in advance, Rally Carp!
Check out my basketball stats!
http://www.iowaconference.com/BBCONF/03-04WB/HTML/sim.htm
I have a sore shoulder!
So, I’m assuming the Sox STILL haven’t played anyone good this year?
What a fortunate schedule we have this year!
Hi, Wayne:
Meet us.
We’re without our starting SS and 2B.
We’re without our starting C.
We had our No. 4 starter going for us.
And we’re playing like shit this year. So yes, you haven’t played anyone good yet.
We also don’t give four shits about your shitstain of a franchise, or your fans, who are the world’s greatest wastes of sperm.
We save our hatred for the Cardinals, the Mets, the Astros, Chip Caray, Rob Neyer and Bob Brenly’s mustache.
Now if you can excuse us, we need to pay homage to the Rally Carp, who will supply us with 2 wins over the weekend.
Whee!
SNIFF, SNIFF, SOB
You’re hurting our feelings by ignoring us.
It’s funny how you care about Sox fans a lot more if the Cubbies win.
The Rally Carp should be able to help you guys, if anything can, this weekend.
After all, we wasted Garland and Buehrle on the Rangers, we saved Orlando and Jose for you guys, thereby proving that we don’t really care about you either.
Wayne,
I know I won’t catch your eye because I am not 450 pounds. But go cook some meth or something!
Please also note that when choosing my American League ballpark to take my Des Moines followers to, we chose Kauffmann Stadium over US Cellular Field.
It might have to do with my love affair with Jake Potter, but still…
http://www.iowacubs.com/aspx/news.aspx?id=1906
Hey Carp, if you were 450 pounds, we could get Holly out of his slump !!!!!
If we weren’t hopped up on crack, we’d remember to stay away from Holly.
I think a slump buster works only if you have talent. I think Mulletsworth, Gremlin, enrique, Neifi?, Jerry the Lesser, Hank White, are all hopeless
We are in Lf snorting coke and we can’t find a straight guy anywhere around us. We better go to the South Side where the good looking guys are.
Besides, that’s where the WINNERS are!!!! Not these fags here in QueerVille.
Good looking like me?
Yeah, you South Side Sox fans are good eggs. There’s not a racist bone in your bodies down there.
Cubs fans,
These south siders are still bitter because I moved their sad-sack shitty football team that George Halas propped up all those years to St. Louis and then to Phoenix. Yes, I know that we’ve sucked longer than the Sox have been a zero franchise, but they’re still bitter about it.
They’d be downright suicidal if the Wrigley Field football fans didn’t welcome them into their family.
Oh well, I have a franchise to continue to run into the ground. I make Michael McCaskey look like Ed DeBartolo!
You mean like all the people out here who have been talking about meth labs on the south side?
Get real people.
We only come out to watch good baseball. We’re not attracted to the park in droves by lame promotions.
even if we win, we’ll always be second in a cubs town.
Heck, they can go 0-162 and we can go 162-0 and we will still be second.
I am what the Big Z will be thinking of
Hi all! I’m the new Cubs Intern!
Ooooh! A slumpbuster!
You need something bigger than that Todd, especially if you want to break out of an 0 for 15 slump
Gotcha covered.
[img width=400 height=255]http://cordic-and-co.com/ofc/ofcc003.jpg[/img]
Drat.
I’m no Carp, but I am a slumpbuster — Walker was 3-5 tonight in fabulous Iowa!
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