Today’s Tribune Cubs’ coverage is much more entertaining than anything the Cubs have actually been doing on the field lately. You can read a quote from the one player who actually “gets it”, and he had to spend two weeks in Iowa to get enlightened.
“Right now we’re just not a very good team. That’s the bottom line.” — Todd Walker
Then, Seabiscuit’s Jockey wonders why the crowd was so quiet yesterday?
Well, that’s probably because we’re too bored to boo.
Then, there’s this piece of shit from supposed Cubs fan Cynthia Lee. She felt compelled to sit down and write out (likely in crayon) a letter criticizing Cubs’ fans for not being more supportive of their team.
You know what Cynthia baby? You’re right. Starting right now. I’m going to be nothing but positive. How can we expect these millionaires to perform under the intense pressure of a fan base who wants them to do well and is actually pissed off when they don’t?
You tell them girlfriend! You know fans so well.
But it’s another thing to blatantly bash and hate them just for the sake of doing it. I am one of many proud old school, keep-it-real type longtime Cubs fans. Yes, we are too often let down, but we are not at all like those aforementioned two-faced fans.
I know most Cubs fans just want to hate the players. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to fans who say things like, “I hope we sign LaTroy Hawkins to a big deal. It’s going to be great to get to boo him and throw stuff at him!”
What we need are more “keep it real type longtime Cubs fans” like you, Cynthia! You’re a peach. We need more fans like you who cried when Mark Grace finally got his chubby chasing ass run out of town. We need more fans like you, the kind who wear those stupid Cubs beads and think that it’s f#$%ing adorable that the mascot is a f#$%ing baby bear.
They are making a mockery of true Cub fandom. Some of the local sports press are constantly stating that all Cub fans are alike and I thoroughly resent that passionately. This is why I’m not happy.
I also like how you not only thoroughly resent it, but also passionately. It’s good to be thoroughly passionate. Whatever the hell that means. I want to personally thank you for writing this, because it’s important that people know that not all Cubs’ fans are alike. I’m thoroughly passionate in my desire to have people know that all Cubs’ fans aren’t pathetic psychophants like you.
Now, it’s time to be positive!
“Way to go Corey! Way to swing at that pitch over your head! You can do it! It’s fun to watch you overrun balls in the outfield and make doubles out of singles! Way to be generous! Whooo!”
“Hi Kerry! I’m glad you’re rehab is going well! It’s nice that you’ve had so much practice at it over the years. Hey, maybe the IOC will make injury rehab an Olympic sport next time. You’ll do great!”
“E-ramis! You hoo! Over here! Hi! I’m glad you signed that big contract and it’s great that you’re conserving all of your hits for the pennant stretch. Good thinking!”
“Dusty, dude! Hi! Great to see you, dude! I like how you let the players tell you when they want to play and where they want to bat! That’s so benevolent of you!”
Ah, f#$% that.
If you’re not already questioning why you waste any of your time watching these losers, I’ve got something that just might make your head explode. It nearly made mine go this morning. It’s not even the rash of predictible, “We’re just trying too hard” quotes. Those are so trite and familiar that you just kind of shrug those off.
But how about this. The Cubs players have found something new to blame. Yes, they’re blaming Wrigley Field. I’m not making this up.
Even our man Carlos is in on the act.
“I think when we go on the road we’ll be much better,” said Zambrano, the losing pitcher Thursday. “The wind factor in this ballpark is a big key for us.”
Wait, there’s no wind on the road? No wonder Ron Santo thinks he can get away with just glueing the front of his toupee down.
“I talked to Fred McGriff here when I was a visitor and I was on first base,” Todd Walker said. “He said, ‘People think this is a hitter’s park, and it’s not.’ He was right.
“It’s a home run park half the days, but if you don’t have either extreme speed or extreme power, when you don’t hit home runs, you’re going to have a tough time.”
What? Huh? Fred McGriff? You asked a cadaver what he thought of Wrigley? I think Todd misheard him. I think Fred said, “People think I can actually hit. I can’t.”
Or maybe it was, “People think I’m not dead, but I am.”
There is just so much wrong with the idea that the Cubs are at a disadvantage at home. First off, that would imply that every other team is built just to win at Wrigley. I’m sure the Rockies, who are now undefeated at Wrigley are just the perfect kind of club to win games there. Second, it implies that management is too stupid to figure out what kind of players they need to win there.
Oh, wait.
Perhaps this is Todd’s way of saying, “Why am I surrounded by dumbasses who try to hit homers on every pitch?”
If it’s not. It should be.
This Cubs’ team isn’t supposed to rely on the homer. You know why it relies on the homer? Because these guys can’t hit. When you have a team full of guys who can’t hit, you can’t string together three or four hits in a row, and they damn sure aren’t going to walk. So unless somebody gets lucky and puts one in the basket they’re not going to score. When the Cubs go on the road, they are the same damn lousy offense. This isn’t a team ill-suited to playing at Wrigley. This is a team ill-suited to play baseball.
With the starting pitching the Cubs have, Wrigley should be a perfect place for them. The wind blows in half the time, you can lose a small child in the infield grass, etc.
Oh, and this? This is just ludicrous.
“You either need home run guys or speed guys. If you’re a great hitterâ€â€like Nomar he hit .290 instead of .320. A lot of balls Nomar hits for base hits go through third and short. And from what I noticed, those were being caught.”– Todd Walker
Fine, Nomar hit more than twenty points less for the Cubs than the Sox last year. But if the infield’s so damn slow how come neither you or him could get to anything?
When Mariotti puts down the doughnut and writes a reasonably well-thought out column, you know the problems are obvious. When this dumbshit can figure them out, it’s just too easy. But today, Jay gets his sausage like finger on the pulse of the problem.
Don’t forget, you’ve still got a few days (until Monday) to send me a question you want me to ask Len Kasper. Send those to askandy@desipio.com.
Todd Wellemeyer figured it out:
It’s our fault!
You negelcted to mention the note in the Trib coverage today that told how Todd Wellemeyer was seen “pleading with a representative of the Cubs’ marketing department to stop playing Van Halen’s “Jump” before the opening pitch of every game. Wellemeyer believes the Cubs should adopt a more current song”. Man, it’s a good thing these guys are worried about stuff like this.
Might as well jump. Jump !
Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. Jump !
Go ahead, jump.
Weren’t we a lineup filled with “sluggers”??? I seem to remember us having almost 20 HR power at every position on the diamond. But we didn’t do well offensively last year, so thanks, but no thanks to your excuses. We had no one start out the season as hot as D Lee did this year, so that’s even more of an indictment on how poorly the team has hit this year. It has nothing to do with Wrigley Field.
So, if the Cubs ultimately fire Dusty, will there be an old manager out there that will work for pudding?
And I’ll make Vince Coleman my first base coach in time for the Cubs-Sox series at the Cell, so Kenny Williams can eat me!
How about using one of our tunes for the charge onto the field?
Fool’s Hall of Fame would be a good choice.
I’d prefer not to play unless the wind is blowing out to right. That’s what I’d prefer.
“If you stand at home plate here, and you stand at home plate at Coors Field, there’s a major difference in the outfield as a whole.”
Every other outfield in the league is just like Coors. And I don’t know what Zambrano’s talking about, the pitchers have it made here.
I was not talking to Todd Walker about whether or not Wrigley is a hitters park a few years back. I was actually trying to persuade him to purchase Tom Emanski’s baseball videos. If the Cubbies watched these they to might win back, to back, to back championships.
Dolan, you and Mariotti, put it bluntly in your columns today. I’ll give you guys two amens for that.
First off, this Cynthia Lee chick is a pathetic idiotic bitch for her sympathy letter for the Cubs. Please Cynthia, I believe us as fans have a concrete right to bitch about these millionaire losers and boo them at our free will.
Condolences to Jim Hendry about his mother’s passing this week. But after this week, it should be condolences to Dusty after he gets fired for this mess the past couple years.
Dusty just doesn’t have the mindset what so ever to manage a team like the Cubs. With injuries, egos, and just with players that don’t have ability, old Bake never had a chance. This guy is the king of excuses though. If he would just fess up and throw out the truth once in great while, maybe people could put up with him for just a second. But Dusty loves quoting his same passages day after day after day. Why not have some balls for a change and tell your players to FUCK OFF. It makes you wonder how much Darren will get away with when he’s a teenager. Let’s see how what would follow:
“Hey Dad, that joint really made me feel high,” Darren said. Dusty replied,”Son I know that this might make you mad, but smoking pot isn’t good and you should never do it again.” Darren retaliated, “Fuck you dad, I will do what I want to do!” Dusty weakly retorted, “That’s OK Darren, you can smoke the bud. I wouldn’t want to upset you.”
Here’s a quote for Dusty out of Donald Trump’s book he’ll be hearing soon, “YOU’RE FIRED!”
FDACLF= Fuck Dusty and Cynthia Lee Forever
Baker And Cynthia Lee Basher
D’Angelo Jimenez accepted a demotion to AA, so he’s still a red. But check out what Ryan Freel said about him,
“I don’t have anything good to say about the guy to be personally honest with you. He is a cancer in every single clubhouse that he goes to.”
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050527/SPT04/505270430/1071
That ought to be a fun little reunion if the Reds call him back up.
He’s a red?
Without the capital R it looks like I called him a commie.
kudos to me, a well written piece today, simply stating what has been said in Desipio since the cubs were 10-10 and everybody here knew what this team was made of.
This ballpark is conducive to the home run hitters and/or speed guys… and/or some other things that I’m not, like righties and guys who aren’t morans.
forget Chatanooga, come back to Rusia, my dear comrad D’Angelo.
Ooh, Marriotti put me ON NOTICE.
I’m shaking.
You want your lovable losers ’93 cubs. We want the ’03 cubs.
Coming 4 outs away from a WS, the bar was raised. We expect and demand more.
I love you, Wrigley Stadium!
Carlos wasn’t complaining about pitching at home, he was complaining about not getting any runs to work with at home, and complaining about hitting at Wrigley, since he’s actually part of the offense unlike most pitchers. Either way, he’s wrong.
Things haven’t been the same since they let the car racer rename the stadium.
Hey Jim, have you thought about rotating managers?
How ironic that on a day when the Cubs coverage in Chicago’s two major dailies was supposedly decent, that Dolan decides to toss off his least entertaining dose in several months. A full-scale assault on some poor lady who’s fed up with the attitudes of some Cubs fans was all our guy could muster today. I was sure that nobody actually read those “View from a Cubs Fan” things but apparently somebody does. And it crawled up his ass like a bug, didn’t it? Jesus. It was no less useful than anything spewed out by Baker Basher and some of the other imbeciles who post here but God damn if we didn’t get some vitriolic responses to it. It got Dolan so off-point that he decided to lob a half-assed compliment at Mariotti’s dead ass. I knew when I saw the headline on Jay’s offering today that a bunch of you lackwits would turn around and give him some manlove for a change. Most of you never fail to disappoint. But I’m a little surprised at Dolan. Maybe he’s a little to excited for a three-day weekend to sit down and write his usual pithy prose. Failing that he decided to spit venom at some poor woman who reminds me of my aunt, who never misses a game, doesn’t have to curse and rant and hate the players on the field but is no less a true fan than any of us maladjusted nutjobs with nothing better to do with an hour in the middle of the day.
“…Dolan decides to toss off his least entertaining dose in several months.”
And thus he continues to morph into me.
Albeit still better written, funnier and with better spelling.
Amen, Chuck.
blah, blah, blah, blah
and your point is…
Apex. it all depends on what YOUR definition of a true fan is.
Is your definition of a ‘true fan’ someone who is blind and loyal, like a mutt, to their team, no matter what? This happens to be the viewpoint of most “sports-watching” women, who frankly do not understand sports psychology and sports competitiveness. These are the same people who will push their kids to be a better rhytmic dancer or better trumpet player than the kid next door, because THAT’s the kind of rivalry they understand. Organized sports rivalry really ISN’T a priority to them.
My definition of a ‘true fan’ is someone who knows the GAME, which Apex, I will take this opportunity to question YOUR own knowledge.
There. It’s GO time….
I hardly think this qualifies as effusive praise for Jay.
“When Mariotti puts down the doughnut and writes a reasonably well-thought out column, you know the problems are obvious. When this dumbshit can figure them out, it’s just too easy. But today, Jay gets his sausage like finger on the pulse of the problem.”
I felt compelled to write it, and the Tribune found it interesting enough to publish it, so I think it’s fair game to flog me for it.
Someone must be holding a gun to Apex’s head and forcing him to read Andy’s terrible writing every day.
3 games below .500 wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
corey’s moronic fielding and strikeouts wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
swinging at first pitch wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
lovable losers wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
bullpen or lack of it wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
for Cynthia and her supporters:
go root for the Devil Rays
your kind of team
I had a deaf cat named Dingbat. Damn thing got runned over.
My definition of a true fan is somebody who loves the team and loves to watch. Where you take it from there is up to you. You can despise the way it plays, the people who manage it, the people who pay to sit next to it… whatever that’s on you. You can rip that lady if you want but it reflects negatively on you, I think, if you aren’t able to accept the many different kinds of Cubs fans out there.
An untrue fan would be someone who doesn’t love the team or love to watch ie: some of those who just go to Wrigley for the socialization aspect. They take their share of abuse too and it’s warranted. But for somebody like myself who I think is somewhere in the middle between Ms. Lee and the raving nutjobs who want Dusty to die of colon cancer, I want you to know that you’re far less annoying than she is because of your robust sense of entitlement.
As for my knowledge of the game, you can question it if you want to but that’s a losing proposition for you which will be proven out as far as I want to take it.
By the way, I love the Dose but sometimes I also enjoy getting a rise out of his legion of lackwits. And you guys always come through for me.
In light of recent events, we, the Chicago Cubs organization, have decided to with a manager by committee plan. We’ll use whichever coach on our team is best suited to manage for the situation until we find one that can clearly get the job done.
Damn that Brent David for not proofreading my press release.
In light of recent events, we, the Chicago Cubs organization, have decided to go with a manager by committee philosophy. We’ll use whichever coach on our team is best suited to manage for the situation until we find one that can clearly get the job done in all situations.
hey Jim, I can be manager, I already decide when & where I play and what order in the lineup I bat
Apex, I was actually looking forward to having a fun engagement with you today. But you know what? I have a six-figure job, because I have a FUCKING BRAIN! And I have to go to meetings now, so I can administer a database, develop browser-based reports, and manage customer expectations. So I can’t argue with you now.
Click on where it says Sloth, in bold letters, and read my basic theory about Cindy Lee and her kind…
You’re most welcome.
FYA
Sloth, it’s fabulous that you can speak to the psyche of all female sports fan. Thank god we have you here as a voice for us on Desipio.
…and at the request of one of our several Todds, I forget which, the pregame music at Wrigley Stadium will henceforth consist solely of Backstreet Boys, Kelly Clarkson and Jessica Simpson.
Oh, you assholes. Who cares if I’m more focused on the pre-game music than the games themselves? It’s not like I PARTICIPATE in them! When’s the last time Dusty let me pitch, for god’s sake?
Maybe Cynthia is more well-suited to be a Cardinals fan. You know, the kind of fans who demand curtain calls after Larry Walker strikes out in his first AB as a Redbird. The type of mopes who get a chuckle out of bringing signs to games or playing Cubs-mocking songs over the PA.
Sloth, I’ll be happy to visit your blog but I also have shit to do. I think I’ll give it a quick perusing sometime during the day after the Cubs win the World Series.
good job apex. I’m glad you came over to the dark side. MUAHAHAHAHAHA
This phrase really should be added to all Desipio related products.
We’re sycophants who are really over the top.
I’ve got better things to do, Sloth. Like refresh this page for the next three hours.
Apex, you ignorant slut! You and Cynthia seem to believe that to be a fan is the equivalent of adhering to a religious faith. Baseball is a pastime, not a belief. And as a fan I don’t have to LOVE every loser that the front office happens to put into a uniform. On the other hand I do have a right to expect that in return for the dollars that I spend the front office will provide me with a competitive team and manager. When the team is not competitive I and every other “lackwit” dumb enough to to shell out for one of the highest priced tickets in the sport has a right to bitch about it.
Somebody get cubbiebluestew a Believe wristband. Stat!
What’s there to bitch about with a lineup like this? Except that you’re dashing Corey’s dream of hitting 6th.
Jerry Hairston Jr., 2B
Neifi Perez, SS
Derrek Lee, 1B
Aramis Ramirez, 3B
Jason Dubois, LF
Jeromy Burnitz, RF
Corey Patterson, CF
Henry Blanco, C
Mark Prior, P
Oh, how I love my precious little Apex. Oh, he’s such a real Cubbie fan. He wears his pookah shell neclkace, beleve bracelet, and A.and F open collar dress shirt to every game that he and his gang of special little friends goes to. He says insightful things like,”why didn’t he just get a hit there?” He actually wrote that View from a Cub Fan piece. That’s why he’s defending it here against you lackwits…oh he’s such a trooper. Go Cubbies!!! Next Year is here!!! In Dusty We Trusty!!!
Ugh…a lot to bitch about. I don’t have faith any of those fuckers to team up and win a game. At least Prior’s good.
I’d like to thank Apex and his aunt for being real Cub fans, and not helping to run my good buddy Sammy out of town.
Actually, Todd, you admitted that the team sucks. I’M the one that requested the booing stop, but that was a while ago. I might have changed my mind by now, seeing how terrible we are.
The Joe Kennedy Experiment trying to walk Corey to get to Hank
vs.
Corey trying … not to be Corey
now that’s some powerful rhetoric on your site, Sloth. good stuff except for all the annoying CAPITALIZATION. I agree that just because you go to the game and wear your team tee shirt doesn’t make you a knowledgable fan, it does however make you a fan. Unfortunately, fans with a fucking clue need those dipshits to the pack the place. A packed house is a nice thing to have, a very infrequent occurrence in Arlington. Intelligent fans don’t blindly love their teams, they just follow their teams and bitch intelligently when neccessary…bottom line, there isn’t enough intelligent fans out there period, mostly because the world is full of stupid people.
Yeah, but way earlier this year on sports central, I said there are times to boo, and did blame some of the fans for wanting the great Sammy to go bye bye. Also, isn’t there something wrong with me being the only guy who flat out said we’re bad, when I’ve only played in like 13 games this year? This team has no fire. Besides I like Hawk Harrelson because he makes up nick names for the players and cheers in the booth. Remember last year when I said that?
simple, true, and to the point. Now where’s my Abercrombie catalog?
We flat-out ARE bad. Who cares?
If Walker didn’t give interviews, what on earth would you people spend your work day bitching about on Desipio?
I know this may fall on dead ears here at Desipio, but I believe some changes need to be made. Jim Hendry has got to go. There is one logical person to replace him…me. Roz and I are gonna start a grassroots campaign to get me a position in the front office. I would appreciate you guys giving me a hand and getting the word out. Read Roz’s columns for updates…this is gonna be big guys…real big.
I like baseball. I just never understood how you guys can spend so much time discussing it. I’ve been to games, but I don’t memorize who played third base for Pittsburgh in 1960.
For the pregame music intro Todd, might I suggest my “Requiem in D Minor”. An appropriate piece for this Cubs team, IMO, and a timeless classic, too!
I was at 3B Helen Slater, you ignorant bitch!! You want some of me, come and get, you can find me in Cooperstown, NY.
Wellemeyer doesn’t like us…and this is news? The Chicago sports media is funny.
Gee, I didn’t know Sloth knew any females over 15, let alone had insights into the psyche of female sports fan. Administering a database must leave a lot of time for downloading child porn on the web. And what DB are you administering? I need me one of them there jobs, ’cause they’re sure not paying like that around here.
Looks like after the franchise leaves in trampled mess, We decided to actually hit
I guess old age has allowed you to forget you were a second baseman for nearly your entire career.
In fact, I played third base for pittsburgh in 1960.
What hasn’t been issued throughout this high quality discussion today is the basic notion that do fans have the ‘right’ to boo their team?
_For_
Fans are, by definition, fanatical about the team they support and, both directly and indirectly, pay their cliche’d hard-earned money to. Fans, unlike the players, do not change teams throughout their life. Ask a fan why they support who they support, and often they can’t cogently state the reason – being a fan of their particular team is inately a part of their being. Therefore, when athletes who get paid to both represent a team and to assist it in the aim of winning are perceived as not doing either or both of these objectives successfully, then a fan with so much emotional interest in the outcome is understandly going to react. If you ‘feel’ a part of a team, then you take each loss personally. And, like the way you feel the players should be rewarded when they do well, you feel you have a right to express your personal displeasure over their perceived or actual lack of effort – the people who are paid to represent and benefit you.
_Against_
As a fan, you are so committed to the goodness and right-ness of your team that you defend them at every opportunity, you financially buy their tickets and their merchandise, you can only see their side on every controvercial decision. You cannot bear a bad word or sentiment said against them, and people who ‘bash’ or ‘hate’ on your/their team are seen as disloyal traitors for doing so. The only way to enjoy the pure feeling of elation when your teams wins is by having faith in the players and management when things are bad. You do not boo them – you are too deeply in love with them to ever consider it.
Excuse me while I take a shit and wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills. I make six figures, or didn’t I tell you?