This mound is cozy!  I like it.
Only the Cubs could cost a pitcher a no hitter this way. Their best defensive catcher not only misses a chest high fastball but as he chases it down to the backstop he slips and falls down? Then three batters later a little pop up falls between the shortstop (who should have had it), the left fielder and the centerfielder for a…double? And that’s the only hit the Dodgers get in 10 innings?

Hey, things could be worse. The Cubs could be the Dodgers.

The Cubs actually screwed that play up three times. First, Neifi gave up way too early on it and it just kind of hung up, landing not far from where Neifi would make two other nice catches later on in the game. Second, Corey Patterson didn’t get in position to back up the ludicrously hopeless sliding attempt of Jason Dubois. Then third, when Patterson finally got to the ball he had plenty of time to gun down the loping Hee Seop Choi at home, but made a bad throw.

What was amazing was that Carlos didn’t freak out. He didn’t chase Corey around the outfield. He didn’t rip the rubber out of the mound and throw it at anybody. He just kept on pitching, and kept mowing down the Dodgers.

The only time he was in any trouble was during a sixth inning at bat when he fouled balls off both feet.

Oh, and he did fall off the mound twice. That’s always fun to see. I thought the second one, in which he actually hit the dirt was just his tribute to Mark Prior.

So why did Carlos keep his composure? Is it an inner calm he’s found now that he has redirected three of the five hours he was spending on the Internet into meditation? I think it’s because not only were the two guys who seem to be able to talk some sense to him, Hank White and Neifi!, on the field last night, but both were prominently involved in the screw ups.

Give them credit though, they also drove in both runs and the Cubs have won five in a row.

It’s funny how winning a game can gloss over some pretty stupid stuff. Take the entire ninth inning, for example. The Cubs get a leadoff hit by Derrek Lee. Eric Gagne is on the mound. He’s a great pitcher, but he takes like nine minutes from the start of his windup to the time he lets go of the ball. Plus, half the pitches he throws are unhittable 84 mile an hour change ups that look like a fastball until they get halfway to the plate, and then they die. Plus, you had a rookie catcher, who was gooped up on something because he looked like he was smoking crack between innings and couldn’t remember the signs. Mike Rose set a Major League record for most mound conferences (27) in a game.

What am I saying here?

Let Derrek Lee steal! Go, Derrek! Run! Get to second with no outs.

Instead, Dusty asks Jeromy Burnitz to bunt. Not only would one of Eric Gagne’s fastballs be just about impossible to bunt, but it’s not like Jeromy has a lot of experience with this kind of thing. The results, were predictably terrible. Lee was forced at second.

So what happens next? E-ramis gets his third hit of the day (for the third day in a row), sending Burnitz from first to third. E-ramis then decides it’s late so he removes himself for a pinch runner (the great Jose Macias).

Dodgers’ manager Jim Tracy (who is just about as dumb as the chair you are sitting on), brings the infield in at all four positions giving The Gremlin a clear shot at stealing second. Corey Patterson’s up, so you know he’s going to strike out.

Here’s where, if I were Dusty, I’d have had a little chat with Corey. I’d have said, “Hey, remember how you said you weren’t comfortable batting lead off, so I let you bat sixth? Well, I’m not comfortable with you being able to hit a flyball here to give us the lead, so I’m going to use Jerry.”

Think about what kind of message that would have sent to young Corey. Perhaps one of, “mediocrity will not be celebrated or tolerated?” Instead, Corey was allowed to strike out. It even took Macias two pitches to realize that not only wasn’t he being held on at first, but the second baseman and shortstop were too far in (on the grass) to cover second on a steal attempt, anyway.

Jason Dubois was overmatched as well, and he whiffed.

The Cubs got another leadoff hit in the tenth when Michael Barrett singled as a pinch hitter for Hank. He went to second on a sac bunt by Todd Hollandsworth (who not only can’t hit, but was hitting off of Yhency Brazoban–who is good, but ain’t no Eric Gagne–which made that the proper play). Neifi! came up and delivered a single to left. Inexplicably, Barrett froze between second and third, even though in the replays you could see third base coach Chris Speier frantically waving him home. Luckily Ricky Ledee made his first error in a year and a half, and Barrett scored easily.

The bottom of the tenth was completely routine, with Ryan Dempster hitting the leadoff batter in the head and then stranding him at second. Ho hum.

What did we learn?

That even when both Derrek Lee and E-ramis are red hot, that the Cubs’ offense is a flawed, impotent mess when it faces anything better than a journeyman pitcher. Smart guys like you and me knew that the offense woke up in the first four games of the winning streak because it was facing lousy pitchers. Now is not the time to be afraid to tinker with the team. As Frances McDormand’s character said in “Almost Famous”, “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.”

It’d be nice if those forces knew how to get on base.

—————
I think the biggest disappointment of the road trip has to be that Gabor Bako is on the Dodgers’ disabled list. I know I was looking forward to seeing him in action. We got a taste of it on Hank’s passed ball in the third. That’s the first passed ball of the season for the Cubs. Last year at this time Gabor had a trophy case full of them.

Bako is apparently on the DL with a strained tendon in his knee. The Dodgers are being coy about how he injured it, but rumor has it it involved shower shoes, a wet floor around the whirlpool and his accordion. I’ll leave it at that.

Don't leave us, Gabor!  Nooo!

Jason Jennings, the last pitcher to beat the Cubs, beat the Cardinals 2-1 last night in Denver. I tuned in just in time to watch the top of the ninth. Mark Grudzlk;jd;lkfj;d led off with a single and six-year old announcer Dan McLaughlin literally yelled, “Here come the Cardinals!” A botched bunt attempt by Abe Nunez and a double play by the least fat of the Molina brothers and if they were coming, it was premature.

Cubs’ fans are bemused by the inexplicable success of the White Sox to this point in the season, but I think the Cardinals’ success is even less likely to be sustained. With Scott Rolen out, they have two good offensive players, Lassie and the Generalissimo. Their bullpen is not just full of nobodies, but it’s bad. So you just kick back, wait for Karen Carpenter’s arm to fall off again and for it to warm up enough for Matt Morris to get back on his 50 homers allowed pace.

As for Mark Mulder? He’s 7-2 now, which is good. But he’s not striking anybody out (46 in 72 innings) and his wins have come against these offensive juggernauts: Pissburgh (2), Houston, the Dodgers (we’ve seen the last two nights how potent that attack is) and the Royals. He’s split games against the Reds (in one he gave up six runs in five innings) and beat the Braves but gave up five runs.

Maybe he’s just doing his job and beating the teams he should be able to beat. Or maybe he, like his team, is feasting on the bad teams that have piled up for them early in the schedule?

If you compare the Cubs’ and Cardinals’ records, the glaring difference is in how the Cardinals have done against the bad teams.

St. Louis is 10-9 against teams with a .500 record or better. The Cubs are 9-10.

St. Louis is 23-9 against teams under .500, while the Cubs are 17-14. There’s most of your 6.5 game difference.

The good news for the Cubs and Cardinals is that they both have a distinct advantage over the other NL teams when it comes to the wild card. The NL Central, in which both teams will load up on patsies, is the worst division in the league. Everybody out west is about even, and the east has four pretty good teams, five if the Phillies would ever get their act together.

The problem for the Cubs is that until just recently, they’d been playing sub .500 baseball against the bad teams. Maybe because until just recently, they were one of the bad ones.

One thing that you notice though, is that the Phillies are still under .500, but they’re not a bad team. In fact, they’ve enjoyed playing the Cardinals, winning four of the six meetings. You can assume that a team with Billy Wagner, Jim Thome, Bobby Abreu, Pat Burrell, Brett Myers, etc. will finish with more wins than losses. Then look at the Cardinals record against sub .500 teams.

It’s 21-5 to the Cubs 16-12. Yikes.

The bad news? Take a look at the Interleague schedules for the Cubs as compared to the Cardinals.

The Cardinals no longer play the Royals six times every year. So that’s a break for the Cubs, right? It means the Cardinals had to take an extra AL East opponent. Who’d they get? Baltimore?

Nah, they got Tampa.

Cubs Interleague Schedule
v. White Sox – six games (three away)
v. Red Sox – three games
at Yankees – three games
v. Toronto – three games

Combined records of those four teams: 118-88 (.572)

Cardinals Interleague Schedule
at Royals – three
v. Red Sox – three
v. Yankees – three
at Toronto – three
at Tampa – three

Combined records of these four teams: 116-152 (.432)

So much for Interleague Play being fair and well designed.