Goodbye Sweaty Joe
Though we never knew you at all
You had the grace to towel yourself
While those around you cringed
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They made you the closer
And we learned to spell your name
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the sweat set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a moran
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did
Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
The Cubs created a superstar
And shoulder pain was the price you paid
Even when your career died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Sweaty Joe was found in the nude (uhh…thankfully, not really)
Goodbye Sweaty Joe
From the young man in terrace reserved
Thanks for getting the biggest out in 95 years
We just wish there’d been five more
Didn’t JoBo and his wife just have kid number 2? I will always remember Joe just blowing Lassie away in that win in early Sept 2003. Thanks JoBo48!!!
I’m gonna sew JB48 patches on all the uniforms today.
I’m getting a little choked up now. Thanks Andy, for that… whatever that was.
“SWING AND A MISS STRIKE THREE! CUBS WIN!!! BRING ON THE MARLINS!!!”
Sweaty Joe, thank you for the collar ring.
You guys act like I’m going away. What do you mean? I just told Dusty that I feel like being the closer. Dempster is in the rotation again. I’m the closer again. So we have the best at the beginning of the game (Corey) and the best at the end (Me).
you can call me home now, big fella
JoBo pitching in the Reds’ bullpen, getting lit up for like 8 runs and being left out on the mound to suffer the indignity of it all because there just isn’t anybody else out there to get an out.
I remember when I was the most famous one-season Regular Joe hero…What I wouldn’t give for another 2-1 inside fastball to knock out of Municipal Stadium…
clap. clap. clap.
Nice call on the Edmonds strikeout, Straw. Based on what JoBo did in 2003, any bar stool in Illinois will be his for the taking for the rest of his life.
I had to come back to send Joe off. Those words just aren’t enough to express what JoBo has done for this team.
Straw, I’ll never forget going to St. Louis to watch him tough it out in the rain against the Red Satanic Fowl. Even though the radar was only registering in the low 80s, he was still the man that night.
I’ll definitely have to sew a patch with the #48 on my church league softball uniform. We’ll never forget you Joe.
SJF=Sweaty Joe Forever
Baker Basher
I remember Joe when he was pitching for me in the Mexican Summer League.
joe: you and Dan Serafini are long gone, but not forgotten.
SJF = DFA
http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20050629&content_id=1108342&vkey=news_chc&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc
Also, turn on ESPN if you want to hear Stoney describe how a knuckle ball doesn’t have any rotation.
Gee, thanks Kyle. We were wondering what all the fuss was about.
Cub control to Sweaty Joe
Cub control to Sweaty Joe
Put your ball cap and your anti-perspirant on
Cub control to Sweaty Joe
Commencing countdown, warm-up throws
Check your jock strap and may god’s love be with you
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
Four, three, two, one, liftoff
(Swing and a miss strike three! Cubs Win! Cubs Win!”)
This is Cub control to Sweaty Joe
You’ve really made the Save
And the papers want to know whose deoderant you wear
Now it’s time to save the franchise if you dare
“This is Sweaty Joe to Cub control
I’m throwing lots of balls
And they’re floating in a most peculiar way
And my arm feels very different today
For here
I’ve just served another flyball
Far above the world
One more game I blew
And there’s nothing I can do
Though I’ve saved just over 40 games
I’m feeling very old
And I think my catcher knows which pitch to throw
Tell Tatum I love her very much she knows”
Cub control to Sweaty Joe
Your velocity’s down, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Sweaty Joe?
Can you hear me, Sweaty Joe?
Can you hear me, Sweaty Joe?
Can you….
“Here I’ve just given up a home run
Far above the moon
One more game I blew
And there’s nothing I can do.”
Mound control to Sweaty Joe
Mound control to Sweaty Joe
Put your ball cap and your anti-perspirant on
Mound control to Sweaty Joe
Commencing countdown, warm-up throws
Check ignition and may god’s love be with you
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
Four, three, two, one, liftoff
This is ground control to Sweaty Joe
You’ve really made the Save
And the papers want to know whose deoderant you wear
Now it’s time to save the franchise if you dare
“This is Sweaty Joe to Mound control
I’m throwing lots of balls
And they’re floating in a most peculiar way
And my arm feels very different today
For here
I’ve just served another flyball
Far above the world
One more game I blew
And there’s nothing I can do
Though I’ve saved just over 40 games
I’m feeling very old
And I think my catcher knows which pitch to throw
Tell Tatum I love her very much she knows”
Mound control to Sweaty Joe
Your velocity’s down, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Sweaty Joe?
Can you hear me, Sweaty Joe?
Can you hear me, Sweaty Joe?
Can you….
“Here I’ve just given up a home run
Far above the moon
One more game I blew
And there’s nothing I can do.”
If we’re doin’ musical tributes here, blokes, why not ring me up?
I’m throwin’ flies thinkin’ I can’t see
You can’t laugh ‘cos you’re cryin’ for me
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (down on the farm)
I’m down (I’m Iowa bound)
How can you laugh when you know I’m down?
How can you laugh when you know I’m down?
Man gives me contract but throws me away
Same damn thing happens every day
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (down on the farm)
I’m down (I’m Iowa bound)
How can you laugh when you know I’m down?
How can you laugh when you know I’m down, wow!
I’m all wet and there’s nobody else
You still moan: “Keep your sweat to yourself”
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (down on the farm)
I’m down (I’m Iowa bound)
How can you laugh when you know I’m down?
How can you laugh when you know I’m down, wow!
Well, don’t you know that I’m down (I’m really down)
Don’t you know that I’m down (I’m really down)
Don’t you know that I’m down (I’m really down)
Don’t you know that I’m down (Down on the ground)
Don’t you know I’m down, down, down, down, down, down, down
[Repeat]
Great, everbody’s song parody was funnier than mine.
But mine was full of LOVE!
We’ll always remember the good times. His clutch start against San Fra…uh, yea forget that part. Here’s to the guy that was just another one of the men who made the 2003 cubs special. A person who embodied that “Where the f*&K did these guys come from?” spirit. Amen Sweaty Joe, may your days in Iowa be happy, and hey, people seemed to love Rod Beck when he was there. There’s hope for you yet.
Old closers never die..they just fade away.
In my case:
I won’t fade away…I’ll sweat away.