Hey, at least you never had to bang a Kennedy.Goodbye Sweaty Joe
Though we never knew you at all
You had the grace to towel yourself
While those around you cringed
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They made you the closer
And we learned to spell your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the sweat set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a moran
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
The Cubs created a superstar
And shoulder pain was the price you paid
Even when your career died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Sweaty Joe was found in the nude (uhh…thankfully, not really)

Goodbye Sweaty Joe
From the young man in terrace reserved
Thanks for getting the biggest out in 95 years
We just wish there’d been five more