Pitching matchup:
Nationals: Livan Hernandez, 11-2, 3.32 ERA
Cubs: Mark Prior, 5-1, 2.66 ERA
Lineups:
Nationals
Brad Wilkerson, cf
Junior Spivey, 2b
Jose Guillen, rf
Vinny Castilla, 3b
Marlon Byrd, lf
Wilfredo Cordero, 1b
Brian Schneider, c
Jamey Carroll, ss
Livan Hernandez, p
Cubs
Corey Patterson, cf
Neifi Perez, ss
Derrek Lee, 1b
Jeromy Burnitz, rf
Todd Walker, 2b
Todd Hollandsworth, lf
The Gremlin, 3b
Hank White, c
The Franchise, p
I’m in. We win.
Is it really ‘Wilfredo?’ Makes me think of The Godfather for some reason.
“I can handle things, I’m smaaaat! Not dumb, I’m smaaaat, and I want respect!”
I know it was you, Wifredo. I know it was you. You broke my HAHHHH-T! You broke my heart! If you want to see our mother you make an appointment a week in advance so I don’t have to see you.
Take that bastard fishing. And don’t let him near a phone. I still have a dent in my head from that phone.
Who blinks first? Dusty by dropping Korey from #1 or Hendry no longer allowing it?
It’ll be Hendry. Dusty is too dumb and/or stubborn to blink.
Hey, I’ll lead off until I tell Dusty where I want to bat next.
The scary part is that Corey is telling the truth.
It’s hard to blink when you’re sleeping….
Now dammit, where are my toothpicks?
This might be the worst line-up he’s tossed out there all year.
OK, seriously, show of hands, who knew I was still in the big leagues?
This abomination is slightly better than yesterday’s abomination… Gremlin at 3B instead of RF is a wash. Walker is in the 5 hole so he has about what a 10% better chance of getting an extra AB at 5 versus batting 6? I was going to look at the OBP of Wilkerson/Spivey vs. Korey/Neifi! but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. We have to win in spite of our lineup choices. Jim, get Kotsay here quick!
Hey Dusty thanks for helping me pad my stats by having Korey and Neifi bat 1 and 2..
I might as well bat today.
Fuck Bill Holden, today is CANADA day.
Lineups for the visiting team don’t include two or three nicknames or jokes as they used to. Waaaay too much respect for the opposing team.
I was the greatest nickname posted in a lineup.
Even if you do go with those players (and I question that idea), why not use:
Walker
Mulletsworth
Lee
Burnitz
Korey
Gremlin
Neifi
Hank
Franchise
???
Ah hell, it’s a crapshoot when you only put four or five major league hitters in the lineup.
Name / OBP / OBP last 7 days
Patterson / .276 / .231
Perez / .299 / .136
Wilkerson / .376 / .370
Spivey / .331 / .423
Shit … looks like I’m going to have to throw a no hitter to win today.
Remember when I used to play for the Montreal/Washington Expos/Nationals?? I was the biggest fag in major league baseball history. Let’s see: they called me “L’Gran Orange”, that’s gay enough. Plus, I was a chubby twink, wore my pants cutely above the knee, and my hobby was cooking gourmet food.
I mention this only to suggest some new outlets for Korey Patterson, he’s so damn cute. I hear he takes it dry, true?
Braaaaa (BANG!) ow…..(cough)(wheeze)…..
I forward all visitors to the Nationals MLB homepage…
Hey Dusty,
How about batting Walker and Hollandsworth in the 1-2 spots. I can protect Burnitz better than the rest of these guys, so you can put me in the 5-hole. Just think you’ll look like even more of a genius than the Genius himself … if that’s possible.
26 to go…
He Gone!!!
That’s not possible. You know, I passed the bar exam?
25 to go…
He Gone!!!
I’m here today.
OK, fucksticks. Score me some runs.
Who said that?
25 to go…
Has left the building.
Oh well, you gotta lose sometimes.
as lee corso would say not so fast my friend
He Gone!!!
3 K’s
1 HR.
Am I pitching today
The Cubs have decided to have Derrek Lee lead off the inning by just stipulating the Nationals two outs.
Sorry. I left my good stuff at home. I had to borrow Woody’s.
Over/under for 1st ining pitches for Livan is 11. Takers?
He shall be Livan.
I throw a gravy ball. I can’t help it, it comes out of my pores.
Chuck I’ll take the over since D.Lee is at least batting. I figure he’ll have a 10 pitch at bat.
I…I’m awful.
I took 5 of those 11 pitches. Chuck
Amazing! Korey struck out of 5 pitches without even swinging!
New ways to surprise all the time,
Well, Korey took five pitches that time. Naturally three of them were strikes.
I guess that’s his definition of ‘patience.’
We’re at 8. Derrek? Up to you.
LOL! 10!!!!!!!1
I walked 2100 miles to see this shit!!!!
I drink Crystal Gravy to help keep me big.
Is it April?
My nickname is getting really old. In the line-ups, could you just change it to “Worst Hitter on the Team”. Thanks, G.
Not while I am still on the team.
Well, I lose.
C Whatever Molina
1B Doug Eyechart
What about me? Ya’ know… Joe Camel
I should be at 3rd today with my .110 AVG.
Playoffs? PLAYOFFS? I’m just hoping we can get a HIT today…
Enrique,
You are entertaining me these days.
Over under still at 11. Takers?
Jeff Pornstache
2B Jeff Pornstache I mean
Lassie
Chuck,
I will take that bet
With Livan pitching and the Cubs down 2, they should just forfeit and let everybody get some rest this afternoon. Relax in the AC and hope a couple of trades take place by tomorrow morning. Oh, and a firing…
I feel safe now that macias and hank are protecting me
Beege
Look at how well my presence in the lineup protected Burnitz as he singled there!
…And I’m not at the top of the order, why?
I’m the chances this Cubs lineup gets more than 2 runs to beat Livan Large. This team is in serious trouble. Jim Hendry, put down the rum and cokes, you fat pig.
RF, Gladiator, Buddy
CF, Lassie
LF, The Beege
3B, Joe Camel
SS, David the Gnome Eckstein
2B, Jeff Pornstache
1B, Doug Eyechart
C, Whatever Molina
DH, The Big Skirt
P, Clettite, Pick one
Mulletsworth,
With walker and burnitz hitting in front of me, I can catch DLee in RBI’s.
If I wasn’t so shitty
What? Don’t act surprised…you knew I was coming.
Maybe the only reason I am still on this team, is that I am the emergancy catcher.
That remind you of anyone?
Well, I’m a porn star’s stage name, that is true, but I’m also this article regarding Nomar:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-cubs-garciaparra&prov=ap&type=lgns
We also get some sage medical advice from Dr. Johnnie Baker, that’s always nice.
Dudes, Neifi’s my SS… when Nomar comes back, I’ll try and get him in a couple games a week. Even when Nomar does start, Neifi will come in as the late-inning defensive replacement… you know, like the 6th inning. We need Neifi’s leadership on the field.
Can you dig it?… Suckas
Don’t worry gang. A deal is in the works, I am prepared to give up some of our future for an impact player, you know, like Preston wilson. Dusty already has Preston penciled in at the 8 hole.
Not to mention that I’m Carlos’ personal shortstop. Someone’s gotta keep him in line. Well, when Hank’s asleep, that is.
Suck.
I am where Nomar will play in the future.
The future being next year for the angel’s
Also dude, its gonna be August or September when he’s back, You know how hot it is in August? Us brothers have been doing it for years working out in the fields, we’re aclimated to it dudes.
Why am I waisting my time listening to this? They’ve been toast since May.
Ahh the hell with these guys, I’m walking home.
Chuck, the reason you’re paying attention is that Prior is the best pitcher you’ve ever seen.
The Old style commericials mention me. What the hell am I?
Who cares about my injury ridden has been future. I am done. I am a shell of my former self.
2006 Cubs
CF Pierre
2b Walker
1B Lee
3B A-Ram
LF Garciaparra
RF No clue right now
C Barrett
SS Cedeno
I know that’s a joke up there, but I am not even close, I’m not even the best in the NL, not even close.
Hold on to your pastry for another week or two, Jim. Kenny Lofton will be available and you can stop scaring the shit out of Cubs fans with rumors of a deal for Preston Wilson. Wilson and his Korey-like K’s will be a grave mistake for this team.
The game is not over, I will bat at least once or twice, bitches
But my strikeouts are unique, they come from the right side, unlike Korey’s.
Hank, Prior, and K-Pat next half inning!!!
Thanks Chuck for putting me in lineup for 2006 as RF, but I don’t like to bat 6th
Senior Ditch Day, GBN. 1985.
Saw Nolan Ryan wax the Cubs. http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B05240CHN1985.htm
I’ve also seen in person, Fergie, Maddux, Randy Johnson, and Roger Clemens.
Prior may get there, but not yet.
Good, I am to make solid contact on the ball, I make big hit.
I will be Prior’s last inning today. He has 51 pitches so far today
YEs, we will give the Cubs just what they need so that they can show us Prior and Zambrano in the playoffs.
We’re that fucking dumb.
Um, I’m pretty good in person too.
I am probably not even in the current top ten pitchers right now.
See, I tell you.
Pedro:
I haven’t seen you. Millions have, not me.
Just like Paris Hilton.
That’s hot.
We are weedy little fish that wash up on the beach of Lake Michigan and rot in the sun.
I am in that top ten of pitchers. Those who disagree stand up so I can bust a cap up your ass
Now Korey and Neifi will have a shot at driving me in! (muffled laughter)
Should I be bunting here with the bottom of the order due up? Oh wait, that’s the top??
I am fucking awful…this shit is not funny anymore.
Favorite Korey-ism:
When he swings, misses, and immediately looks back to see where the ball was. To see if it was a strike or not.
Only Todd Hundley did it better.
That’s two backwards K’s…
Look at me. With the dumb fuckin’ look on my face after Korey strikes out again.
I need pistol-whipped.
I am making excuses for Korey now, saying that ball was inside. I wanna say something mean, I just won’t, you can tell, and that makes me even more annoying.
I’m about as useful as toilet paper for a dog when the next two guys are Korey and Neifi.
Damn we’re good.
Neifi didn’t get me even though he finally got a hit with a RISP
Shit. Are there actually guys on base? For me? Shit!
Dumbass, Spier! Didn’t send him.
Derrek won’t be able to handle me. See?
Damnit Hank! You’re clogging the bases, dude!
Can we still vote for Pooholes?
I didn’t send him because burnitz is protectin lee, get it?
Well, I am going into a little slump here, now people will see just how valuable I am to this team. Without me, the white flag was raised 2 months ago. I am allowed to not hit for a while, someone else pick up the slack for a change.
that was our chance, there won’t be 2 guys on base again today.
livan 44
prior 51
after 3
We are bad.
Thanks Cubs!!!! Last time I walk 6 months to watch you ass holes play.
Real Bad.
Santo has no idea what I mean.
When did the Nationals become a team?
finally made it and Harry, Chip and Steve aren’t here! bummer!
Don’t I mean victory?
Dang my pitch count is already at 44 today. I’m only going to be able to go 14 innings today.
I thought I meant surrender.
That’s why the Cubs lose. Every time they win, they signal surrender!
After this inning, I am demanding a trade or retiring
would somebody please line a pitch off my arm again? i’m tired of this crap.
You found my boxers!!!
Prior may be the best pitcher any of you have ever seen, but I’ve seen better, and I can barely see anything my eyes are so far apart.
Prior is not the best pitcher I’ve ever seen.
Not today.
The W is for Wonder Livan in case you were wondering. I’m a super hero in my hometown of El Smalltowno
your adorable lee flied out with 2 on.
I would have homered buddies, like I did oooh so many times.
we would still be friends, err budies.
That Santo guy is annoying
I found the second “n” in my last name!
Jamie:
You have 2 RBI today. I had 5 in June.
STOP SHOWING OFF!!!
the cubs don’t know me
the nationals do
Yeah I found it and ate it.
Uh oh!
I hit 2 outs. Henry fall asleep at 3rd base.
You guys need anybody else who can’t bring a guy in from 3rd with less than 2 outs?
uhh.. pat.. why does aramis look so tiny and dark today? do you see him? do you know what i mean? i just don’t get it pat.
Seeing as how it would take the Four Horsemen coming to Earth for the Cubs to win this one, I guess I should introduce a couple other topics you guys might want to talk about…
1. Ron Zook’s football recruiting at Illinois is going pretty well so far, right?
2. Who will be the next justice on the SCOTUS?
3. Is global warming for real?
Just call me “Hammerhead”
I just actually said, “Corey Patterson blows ass” on live television.
Are you serious up there?
See, it’s all about putting your players in a position to succeed, dude. I have to make sure I get the right matchups, dude.
I should have been fired already, dude. I’m mailing it in. Dude.
1. Ron Zook’s football recruiting at Illinois is going pretty well so far, right?
Who gives a shit?
2. Who will be the next justice on the SCOTUS?
Jeb Bush
3. Is global warming for real?
It will be, here in my office about 20 minutes after I finish this salami and pastrami sandwich.
yes indded my friend BC, global warning exists!
Are we really this stupid and inpatient?
Wilkerson’s a terrible leadoff man
Todd lead off? Naah, dudes, he’s a base clogger, man.
I am clueless…absofuckinglutely clueless.
No, I actually said something like “Why would people be talking to Todd Hollandsworth about being replaced in the outfield? He has a better average, a better on base percentage and more RBI’s in fewer at bats than Corey Patterson. I don’t think Todd is the one that should be replaced.”
While Dusty’s lineup may suck, the GameCast over at Desipio.com doesn’t. I like read it while being forced to sit in this big windowed room. It keeps me from having to watch Cubs’ greats such as Macias, Perez, and Patterson in action. Remember that’s D-E-S-I-P-I-O-dot-com.
miss me yet, dudes…eeh buddies…aaahh whatever
MASSIVE APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Cubs’ players and management said:
“Are we really this stupid and inpatient?”
—–
Yep.
It’s games like these when I enjoyed getting calls from my buddy Kent Merker.
Pat Hughes just said I would be the highlight of a bachelor party that is taking place at Wrigley Field. Wow Pat has had a bunch to drink today.
Hero time…
my father say i go to cubs for mullet and the tray
Kent: “Hey Chip, it’s me Kent, yeah…Fuck you.”
Chip: “Ten four good buddy, I’ll see you on the charter.”
Finally.
i might as well be over now
Mulletsworth is about as good as Bill S. Preston Wilson Esquire.
Korey needs to be released, like Sweaty was the other day. Bring Kotsay, Lofton, Calvin Murray, anyone else please.
Thanks for the shoutout gang. It’s blistering here in Hotlanta, home of the brav-o’s.
Honesty compels me to say I do miss the greatest fans in the world……the Orlando Magic fans.
Who’s warming up in the pen?
“Jerry is gonna grab his bat, get limber, and ready to perform…as a pinch hitter.”
I am.
me
I hope it’s me! Oh yeah.
Patterson got a hit! He didn’t strike out! OMG!
That was a great bunt … but shit, it is the ONLY way I can get on base.
Ice Man, aren’t you still at AAA, fixing whatever Rothschild has screwed up in your mechanics?
Why, BC?
I’m not going anywhere, unless you want to completely overpay.
Dusty said if I hit the first pitch, he take me out for ice cream after the game
hey Neifi, dude, whatever you do: DONT CLOG THE BASES!!
It seems like I haven’t had a hit since May that meant anything..I’m worthless
D Lee will be the first batter in an inning next inning
I’ll get Cedeno some time when we get to a park he’s more familiar with,
I am not possible if you’re that fat and old. Not possible at all.
Wait, you mean we don’t play in Des Moines anytime soon?
what’s a guy have to do to get tight with Dusty? Become a weed connection or what? Whatever it is, I’m gonna do it.
jerry dude, i’ve been ass-pounded so many times, it’s hard to get tight with me anymore.
Call me up bitches. I can’t possibly do worse than Patterson…no, on second thought, I’d rather not rot on the bench with Ronny. I’ll just wait till Dusty goes away, if that ever does happen. Hendry seems to wanna stick with him, he looks real capable to me…yup, great manager to learn under. I’d better just stay here in west tenn.
the cubs: “2 steps forward and 2 steps back”
Felix:
My sprain requires you to sit on your duff for another week or so at least.
If you knew you were going into a piss poor organization, you shouldn’t have signed Felix. That’s what I did and I’ve never been happier!
Bases empty. Sigh.
Well folks, even my slumps are bearable.
Damn it. I’d have 217 RBI’s right now if it weren’t for Dusty.
What a surprise…a homer to lead off an inning. Thanks Dusty, you stupid fuck, go play in traffic.
I guess I’ll just keep doing this really lame home run call.
A solo homer… Three more of these, without the bullpen doing the normal blowup, and we would win!!!
You’re right, BC!!!!!!
Don’t ever call me a company man again… I’m getting sick of this Korey-Neifi combo shit. I’m turning into Steve Stone without the smarmy attitude.
I’m history. I just said the line-up is “mind boggling”.
What did Bob say?
Timing…
we are comming back and without clogging the bases dudes
you can only score runs with us right?
I said a long time ago, that Bob might get testy if he thinks he might be up for another job.
Like the one 85 feet below and a little to the left of him.
I turned into an asshole sometime between yesterday and today, but I LOVE IT!
why am i warming up?
the 2004 Cubs are showing their ugly head
This is a porn star I”d really love to bang. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
More accurately, I said it’s mind boggling to think how many RBI’s Derek Lee would have if the number 1 and 2 guys in front of him had OBPs over .300.
It’s as if I’ve been reading this web site for weeks.
Well Chuck, he couldn’t be any worse than the guy sitting there now. He has one more World Series ring than said occupant.
A solo homer… Two more of these, without the bullpen doing the normal blowup, and we would win!!!
Did Bob really call Dusty’s lineup “mind boggling?”
Bob is getting tired of this sad scene lately and he’s realized he’d rather get fired than watch this all summer.
See above, Moises
Look dudes, since Corey and Neifi started hitting at the top of the order, Kerry Wood and Mark Prior came back healthy, Aramis started being a .300 hitter, Lee overtook Pujols in the All Star balloting, Holla is hitting over .300, Tom Cruise saved the world from aliens, and this pesky Chicago heat wave finally took a reprieve. I say its working dudes!
Come on, who didn’t see my 0-for coming? I had two hits yesterday for crying out loud, that’ll be it for 2 months. Of course, BECAUSE I had two hits yesterday, BECAUSE I”m a worthless “veteran”, and BECAUSE I”m a brutha, Dusty will play me repeatedly for the next three weeks.
Prediction: I’ll get more plate appearances than Ronny Cedeno between now and July 31st, who’ll take that bet? Anyone? Anyone? Didn’t think so, bitches.
Check out my Bookworm Bitches stuff…very nice.
Runner on 3rd,
Runner on 3rd, less than 2 outs… the Cubs would never score.
Been fightin’ .500 since I got here dudes.
here i is!
We let the Cubs get a couple of runs to pad our 1 run game stats. Theres no way they will get another run
Great, Dusty’s going to absolutely destroy my arm out by August.
Then I really will be the black Farnsworth. Minus the skanks, of course.
This team could mostly fix it’s problems without a trade. They just need to release one more guy who’s too much of a jackass to do the most reasonable thing with the guys currently on the team.
Ronny is in the house!
I’m putting in Roger Cedeno in place of Macais. I think its a good call because Roger is a tough veteran who can really help this ballclub dudes.
Wait, what’s his first name?
“Been fightin’ .500 since I got here dudes.”
Yeah, we know.
You had better thank your lucky stars both St. Louis and Houston sucked in 2003 or else you would be jobless right now.
Don’t talk bad about my little herman Jose Macias, or I break you into half.
Vinny Castilla with his 392nd career hit against the Cubs… Man, he just KILLS us…
Hey… he really IS the black Kyle Farnsworth…
I mean to say hermano
I hope there is a fan I can kick in the clubhouse
Who’s got the seventh-inning stretch today?
uhh.. pat… is this the all star game already? i just don’t understand why they have “national” on their uniforms. i mean.. uhh.. i think this is the all star game. oh crap.. i have to sing now.. hang on. do i have to hug bill again? where’s my old style andy?
Much ado about nothing. The Cubs aren’t scoring again, anyway.
Novoa has now walked the bases loaded…
Well, he could give up a grand slam and get this torture test over with an hour early…
Here comes Fredo…
That was how long I lasted as a fleeting glimmer of hope in this game that the Cubs might actually somehow win it. Then, reality comes crashing down. This team sucks.
Black Farns? Has a promising future, but the future ain’t now, kid. Ugh.
Where’s Goodwin? We need him to hit cleanup while A-Ram’s out.
I called Kyle in Detroit the other day for advice. I think its paying off here. Two walks and an RBI single to three batters. And only a few more innings before I head to the Cubbie Bear!
is how you win ballgames!
Where are some more places I can find porn with this chick in it? I mean, seriously, this is stalker type stuff.
Can’t bring ya Badwin, but Trinnidad Hubbard is available!
Should I go back to Murphy’s for a while.
Do you mean to purchase, or for some free short clips?
hank, ce & K up next in the 8th
I look really hot on this link..
http://www.nudebabescentral.com/gallery/dani/01/5.htm
Go to pornstarbook.com and you will find some good free links to 30 second clips of me. I am hot.
No shortage of us today…sweet.
More Dani please. Now. Not later. Oh yeah, Baker sucks.
If you want more pics of me, just go to google.com, click on images, and then type in my name.
A triple? For Korey?
What is this game and what did he do with the real baseball?
That ivory scared me shitless
give me a chance with RISP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate Dusty Baker so much.
Movies of me are better, go to pornstarbook and click on my picture to see my free movies and pictures, much easier than google.
I now have 1 more triple (2) than Zambrano.
I´ll bat first next inning too
DUSTY YOU #%$/%#$%
Have I jumped the shark yet??
can i load the bases again?
I am only playing Neifi until I conviince Shawon Dunston to get out of retirement
Long live Neifi?
Hammerhead time…
all 4 nats runs.
cubs no.
why does ron still play me?
I am the right handed Eddie Guardado.
At this rate, I will contract Tommy John disease in the near future.
I was just suspended 20 games bitches.
20 games bitches.
$10,000 per game wired to my bank, Ken.
We will investigate the Kenny Rogers issue to see if it takes violance against reporters seriously. The NBA suspended Ron Artest for the remainder of the season, why shouln’t baseball do likewise.
Regulation Bitches.
I love Big Government
I am the Black Jesus. Even my breaks are well timed.
It was fair bitches.
This goes bad!
I am the man, bitches.
As soon as the umps huddled, it was gonna be a foul.
We will take this back.
… but was it really foul?
If I were a man, I would get tossed right now.
We still lose though.
hey man, ya’ll need to make that right field foul pole higher if i’m gonna be playing here man.
I’m still the man though.
What’s needed are foul poles with “lasers” on the top.
well fuck me
How much of an upgrade over the Incredible Shrinking Gladiator am I ? Seriously dudes.
Well, shit.
Sammy?
Every other league uses Insant Replay. We in congress will investigate why baseall alone uses nanny pamby “conferances” that is a hippy dream.
In Congress, we have nothing better to do.
Ron: Oh, boy.
Shut the fuck up/
Picked off of third, I take back my previous post, I should be shot.
Jeromy Akbar!!
We are the biggest fuck-ups ever. EVER!
uhh.. pat.. i think i just crapped myself after samm… uhh, i mean burnitz was thrown… uhh.. wait, i completely forgot what i was saying.. i’ll wait till after this next pitch… go ahead pat.
gamecast is showing burnitz hit a double to left
Listen to me make excuses for that shit. Fuck my stupid, legless, Kool Aid drinking ass. No excuse at any time for that shit…None.
I then tagged up and went to third. I then proceeded to get picked off an a pitch out a few seconds later.
Do I know how to hit a curve ball?
Watch as I throw a complete game bitches.
Obviously not, dickhead.
10 hits… 3 runs. That’s about right.
I’m in why ?
Boy, do I look shaky out there.
Ronny, that’s probably because you know that if you make any mistakes, you’re not enough of a proven veteran to continue getting playing time under current management.
Dumpster
No Canada Day Save for you
ha! i find my laptop! they try to hide my laptop from me but i find!
Not looking forward to the ninth.
White
Rookie SS
Auto-K.
Mitre just walked the guy hitting .103.
I’ll probably hit for Hank, but you know it’ll be a first pitch flyout, anyway.
That’s a good first pitch…
I am strong like Burro. No one shall come to hit for me.
Thanks man, I just wasted the entire afternoon. Rubbed one out in the main lobby washroom too. Check please!
Down one run in the bottom of the ninth. Your Chicago Cubs offer up Hank White, Ronny Ce and K-Patt, with Neifury in the hole, to throw down some whup-ass!
Or, not.
You’re welcome
I suck.
I’m over.
take me bitches!
I’m about to be struck out.
wooo woooo cédeño
We suck…bad.
shit… now how am i gonna get home?
I have no clue concerning this baseball thing, bro.
who has me to question dusty about today?
Even when we try to use simple fundamentals (like moving the runner over to 3rd with no outs) one of us will find a way to fuck it up. If it hadn’t been Burnitz getting picked off, then Hollandsworth would’ve whiffed.
Forget these Cubs. Just spend your time looking at me and my friends Tory lane, and Bobbi Eden.
Boy, am I crowded this afternoon.
CF – Reed F-in Johnson
2B – Jamey F-in Carroll
SS – Bill F-in Hall
LF – Carlos F-in Lee
3B – Vinny mother F-in Castilla
RF – Gary F-in Sheffield
C – Brian F-in Schneider
1B – Doug F-in Eyechart
SP. Livan F-in Hernandez
SP. Adam F-in Eaton
SP. Chris F-in Capuano
SP. Gustavo F-in Chacin
RP – Dustin F-in Hermanson
RP – Derrick F-in Turnbow
Fuck us
Let’s blame this on Dusty. It was obvioulsy his fault…
Because Livan Hernandez is so damn good.
Because Jeromy is so damn stupid.
Because Jamie Carroll is so damn lucky.
Because the Cubs haven’t retired Vinny Castilla in a big spot since April, 1 1997.
Let’s do it because we’re just helpless fans who put too much stock in this baseball thing and can’t do a thing about losing. But we can do what any impotent chump fan of any sport would do… Rip the MANAGER!!! Yeah, that’ll make us feel better. It’ll make a difference too because eventually the Cubs will get tired of sold out crowds at Wrigley booing… oh wait.
Might as well put me in the category of cub killers.
Korey
Gremlin
La Troy
Gray Beard
Cubs still suck.
White Sox still swallow.
We’d beg to differ about getting Vinny Castilla out in big spots
Why does he keep throwing that thing at me?
If you stop booing Korey, he’ll hit .300…um…er…I’m an assbag. I have to go turtleneck shopping now.
Yeah… I went 0-4… a day later finds me a double short of the cycle in the bottom of the sixth, suckers.
And I don’t even care…
Cubs still suck.
Looks like this is me:
1 Jerry Hairston Jr., CF
2 Todd Walker, 2B
3 Derrek Lee, 1B
4 Jeromy Burnitz, RF
5 Aramis Ramirez, 3B
6 Todd Hollandsworth, LF
7 Neifi Perez, SS
8 Michael Barrett, C
9 Carlos Zambrano, P
Ha! FYCP!!!
we quit
We’re not really this bad…are we ?
Do you guys like watching a good team play ? When I say good team, I mean us.
Suck it, Expos…
You were saying ?
Wow, we are a serious bunch of no account fucking losers.
Hey gang, I’m hitting .246, and I made the all star team. Go Sox!
Here we come, bitches.
We would really like to finish 5th in the division…that’s what we’re shooting for.
You mean none of us made the all star team ?
WINS AND LOSSES ARE OVERRATED ITS ALL ABOUT WHIP AND OPS DUH
SUCKING BILLY BEANE DONG AS WE SPEAK HERE
Every time you watch me play, remember that Hendry declined me for Wood straight up…think you can get that deal now ? I am really fucking good, by the way.