Must have gotten the home run sign, there.
There was a time, not long ago, when the idea of Jerry Hairston in center field was laughable. His defense out there is, to put it mildy, horrific, and while he’s good at getting on base, he does appear to get lost, as though he can’t remember that like in NASCAR if you just keep turning left you’ll be all right.

But things have changed. The bar for acceptable defense and baserunning out of the Cubs’ center field spot has been lowered…to the ground. No matter how many mistakes Jerry makes, no matter how many fly balls he circles, he can’t be worse than Corey Patterson. Desperate times call for desperate measures, it’s time to let Jerry wander around in center on a daily basis and see what happens.

What do you have left to lose? Other than more games that you can’t even get a lead in (which is now six in a row.)

Dusty Baker will likely be able to postpone the decision for a few days because Derrek Lee and his suddenly sore left shoulder (it’s got to be tired from carrying the whole team for three months) will probably get tonight off with Todd Walker at first and Jerry at second. Jerry’s scheduled to start tomorrow night against Braves’ lefty Horacio Ramirez and then again this weekend against Marlins’ lefty Scott Olsen. So that’s three starts in the final five games before the break.

This is not to say that Jerry’s a savior. He’s far from it. But Corey Patterson isn’t just in a slump, he’s in a death spiral. He’s like Nick Esasky without the vertigo excuse, or Dale Murphy without the torn up ankle.

Corey was 16 for 102 in June and is a red hot 2 for 14 in July. That’s 18 for 116, and I’m not sure, but I’m going to assume that’s bad. He reached base 23 times in June. Twenty three! In a third of the at bats Corey had, Jerry reached base 16 times.

It’s not just that Corey’s struggling, it’s how he’s struggling. He continues to take the biggest, longest swing possible, and he continues to try to pull EVERYTHING. Last night he bats with two on and one out and sees three outside fastballs and tries to pull all three of them until he finally pops one up foul to the first baseman.

I’m sure Corey wants to do well, I’m sure it’s bothering him that he’s not doing well, but his approach has not changed at all. How can you go 18 for 116 and not be at least tempted to try something else? There’s stubborn and there’s stupid and while Corey may be both, apparently Jerry is just the latter.

Consider these “notes” from the Tribune and Sun-Times today.

From the Tribune:

Hairston occasionally has missed signs, a sore point with the Cubs coaching staff.

From the Sun-Times:

The Cubs won’t criticize Hairston publicly, but there have been questions behind the scenes about his on-field judgments, including missed signs. Insiders think his low grades in baseball instincts are hurting his chances to start more.

I don’t even want to know who Mike Kiley’s “insiders” are (but it’s likely they are Ronnie Woo Woo and Yosh Kawano’s floppy hat). Hairston’s on base average in the leadoff spot is .394, Patterson’s is .268. You have to miss a shitload of signs for those two figures to cancel each other out. Besides, what signs is Dusty sending out anyway? It’s not the Cubs do anything but stand up there and swing from the ass.

You are at a point in the season where you either start winning or you fold up the tent. The time to ride through Corey’s struggles is not now. Maybe it was time to do that in June, and if the nosedive continues you can ride him like a surfboard through a meaningless August and September, but right now he and his completely non-productive hiney need to be sitting on the bench.

Save for the great catch against the Brewers last Tuesday, Corey’s defense has regressed so markedly that even the downgrade from him to Jerry in the outfield isn’t that apparent anymore.

Right now, Corey Patterson is about as useless as a Major League player can be. Every at bat is either a strike out or a pop-up (though he did manage to ground into a double play on Monday), and he’s shown no signs of that ending any time soon. This is not like sticking with Ryne Sandberg in 1982 or Robin Ventura in 1990. Corey is not a rookie adjusting to the big leagues. He’s a batter selfishly trying to defy his own skills instead of using them to become a better player. You can’t reward that with playing time.