Nothing says “tribute” like asking a Hall of Fame broadcaster his thoughts on the most popular player in his franchise’s history and then letting him get out almost half of his answer before a very pregnant woman begins yelling at him. Ahh, you just can’t beat the classy way Fox broadcasts baseball, can you?
From the smug Joe Buck misidentifying the best player in the National League to Tim McCarver continuing to spray orange paint on his head to Kevin Kennedy asking completely unintelligible questions to Mark Buehrle, it just doesn’t get any better than Fox baseball.
The worst part, of course, is that the National League’s eighth straight loss (there was a tie in there someplace, too) will cost our Cubs the home field advantage in the World Series.
Yeah, I can’t even joke about that with a straight face.
It was a night of firsts. Derrek Lee and E-ramis Ramirez got their first All-Star hits. Mark Buehrle got his first All-Star win. David Eckstein became the first dwarf to ever start an All-Star Game, and Kenny Rogers became the first player to give up a home run that landed in another country. Somewhere in Ontario a moose got hit by the bomb Andruw Jones hit off the Gambler in the seventh.
Baseball’s All-Star Game is the best of its kind. But saying it’s better than a half-assed Pro Bowl, or a glorified pick-up game in the NBA or whatever that no-defense thing the NHL used to play, isn’t really saying much. It’s still an exhibition and…it’s still meaningless.
It’s not like the decision to have home field ride on the game is much different than the eeny-miney-moe every other year approach they used to use. It’s still leaving it up to chance. Plus, Americans watching America’s pasttime don’t care about the outcome of a game where the result will impact something happening three months from now, involving two yet to be determined teams.
Bud Selig can crow about how this is baseball’s “best season” because attendance is up. Well, of course attendance is up. You moved a franchise from a city where no fans showed up to a city starved for baseball. Even you couldn’t do anything stupid enough this year to make attendance go down.
Don’t make us feel guilty if we don’t care one way or another if Rogers showed up for the game anyway. All I know is he got a 20 game suspension with pay and a $50,000 fine and by showing up for the All-Star Game he gets a $50,000 contract bonus. Yeah, that’ll teach him.
Don’t obsess over how many innings players are going to play. Derrek and E-ramis both played six full innings. Some Cubs’ fans were no doubt fearful that one or both would get hurt. But the truth is, they’re far more likely to have gotten hurt on the drive to the airport than by actually playing in the game.
What I’ll be interested to see is how long the wheels stay on Dontrelle Willis this half. He looked awful in his Friday night start against the Cubs and just as bad in his one inning of batting practice work last night.
He’s a tremendous talent, but if you think Prior and Zambrano have been ridden hard at a young age by Dusty Baker…Lance Armstrong’s bike seat has less wear on it than Dontrelle’s arm. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.
One thing you can say about the All-Star Game telecast, as long as Chris Berman is allowed to sweat his way through the Home Run Derby the night before, Buck and McCarver will always look like Huntley and Brinkley by comparison.
What a sad, sad, fat, sad man Chris Berman is. His act is so tired and thin that you could read a novel through it. But he either doesn’t care, or more likely, doesn’t realize that what once was mildly amusing and sometimes clever is now so hackneyed that you can actually hear people cringe when he does it.
His general bufoonery has reached a level where you watch him turn bright red and sweat like Roberto Novoa in a spelling bee and you hope for his sake, and ours, that a blood vessel in his head succumbs to the pressure.
Berman’s “act” is Terry Shiavo and the feeding tube is long overdue for a yank.
In Chicago, for years we took the All-Star Break for what it really was. The end of the season and the beginning of Bears’ training camp. But this year the White Sox would have to pull a collapse of Cubs in ’69 proportions to miss the playoffs and the Cubs are stuck in the wake of a very half-assed wild card race in the NL, one in which they are not currently good enough to win, and not currently bad enough to completely fall out of.
So whether you’re ready for it or not, there’s still important baseball to be played on both sides of town. Judging by the way the Cubs have somnambulically staggered through the season and the way the Sox are due for a reality check, it could be poorly played important baseball. But we’ll take what we can get.
What will be interesting, at least for the next 18 days will be what the Cubs and Sox do to improve their chances.
If you’re Kenny Williams (and if you are, the sheriff’s department wants me to remind you that it’s time to replace the batteries in the ankle bracelets of your kids) you’re not interested in making a move to improve your playoff chances. You’re trying to make a move to put the Sox in a position to win the World Series. As currently made up, the Sox have no chance. OK, they have some chance because anybody in the playoffs has a chance, but you know what I mean.
They have one thing that every champion needs, a stud starting pitcher. They have Mark Buehrle, but then they have Jon Garland who will someday have his picture next to Jack Armstrong in an article about “guys who had great first halves and then disappeared after the All-Star Game.”
That’s an exaggeration, but the Sox need a second dominant starter. Freddy Garcia and Jon Garland can help pitch you to the playoffs, but…
And offensively, the Sox are surprisingly weak at a number of areas for a team with the record they have. They’re not exactly getting stellar production out of third base, shortstop or catcher. Hey, AJ Eyechart’s a huge upgrade over Miguel Olivo, Ben Davis and Jamie Burke, but he’s hitting .250 doesn’t get on base and will be lucky to drive in 60 runs.
The Sox strength hasn’t been their offense. It’s been solid starting pitching every night and a good bullpen. But that doesn’t mean you don’t bother to make a dramatic move to improve the offense. In the playoffs, great offenses become good, good offenses become average and average offenses go home early. Other teams won’t use as many pitchers against you. Bullpens get shortened, starting rotations get shortened. It’s how the Red Sox could win a World Series with a five man pitching staff last year. Their starting outfielders have combined to score six more runs than the Cubs’ outfielders have. And nobody’s getting ticker tape ready for a parade for the Cubs’ bunch.
The Cubs? Oh, they wish they had the Sox problems. Instead, they start the season very near the bottom of a big dogpile of teams trying to decided if they’re in it or not. Because the Cubs had to underachieve a great deal to get where they are, they should be, by definition in it. It’ll be hard for them to play as poorly in the second half as they did in the first half. However, one thing we know, they’re up for the challenge.
While the Cubs have the starting pitching to be dangerous in the postseason, they have one guy in the bullpen they can rely on, and he’s only been doing his job for about six weeks. That’s not exactly a recipe for success.
Strangely, they may have solved their biggest offensive weakness by not making a trade. Demoting Corey Patterson gives Dusty Baker a centerfield position he can’t be comfortable with. He either plays a guy he obviously loathes, Jerry Hairston, or he plays a rookie, and that makes him queasy, too. Or, he could split the baby in half and start Jose Macias, and lose his job. I guess that’s how we’ll know that Dusty is actively trying to get fired.
The Cubs’ offense hasn’t been “fixed” by moving Hairston and Walker into the first two spots, but it certainly gives them more of a fighting chance than they’ve had. The benefits of having two guys with a good chance of being on base when Derrek Lee bats can’t be completely nullified by Jerry’s outfield defense. Right?
What will be interesting to see though is what each GM does to address his teams’ problems. Kenny’s going to make a big move. I’m sure he fights the urge every day to trade for Roberto Alomar again, but he’s going to go after a starting pitcher he thinks can help the Sox right now. Even if it’s AJ Burnett of the Marlins who for all his talent is 42-43 in his career and has a cot set up in the DL room.
But if you’re Jim Hendry, what do you do? You’re waiting for Nomar…again, so you’re not going to trade for a shortstop, though convincing your manager to play Ronny Cedeno in the meantime would be nice. So the places you have ripe for an upgrade are the outfield and the bullpen.
Thankfully, it now appears that the Washington Nationals are officially going to take Preston Wilson out of the equation. If you could find a park that Preston is less suited for than RFK, I’d like you to tell me.
So that’s where we are. Both Chicago teams have ambitious, relentless general managers who are going to do “someting.” We just don’t know what either something is yet. But they have less than 18 days to fill us in.
When the Sox get me, it’s over. Buehrle-Garland-Garcia-Burnett. Are you kidding me? Not only is this the best rotation in the game now, this could be one of the best ever. You know Ken Williams will give away a couple of no name prospects for me, and then sign me long term. Luckily, the Sox farm system has produced some great prospects, and the Marlins are cheap, so this deal seems done. Just watch me win game 4 of the Series to complete the sweep, dudes.
I have free car. I love America!
You wish, AJ. Kenny is trading for ME!
Yeah, we were pretty good, too. What happened to us, again?
Sox could have Schilling/Clemens/Smoltz/Santana/Peavy. With that popgun offense of theirs, it would just mean a handful of painful, low-scoring postseason losses.
I will trade for at least one front line starter, one big bullpen arm, and one or two big bats. We are so close that I can smell it, I will part with some top prospects, just not McPrior or Borchard. I’ll sacrifice a little of the future to win a couple of series rings.
How about me, Kenny? I’m the biggest bullpen arm there is.
Ray King looks like me, just stick that giant 70’s looking white floppy hat on him. He’ll be terrorizing the hood in no time.
And I look like Animal from the Muppets…where is my drumset? Me drum to da beat!!!
Of course Williams won’t trade Borchard…nobody wants him. If he can get something for “McPrior” he should do it now. Everytime that kid pitches in the majors his value goes down some more.
Same thing that happend to Prior/Wood/Zambrano/Clement. You didn’t win a damn thing, things will be different for the current Sox staff.
Oh, okay.
Stop calling him McPrior. That kid couldn’t carry my jock.
Don’t trade McPrior! YOu can’t do that! You need guys like him! Just look at the Cubs and what they’ve done with Guzman, Mitre, Sisco and Brownlie!
Hey #10, the Cubs won us, you dumbass. Sox haven’t won a home playoff game since Ike was givin’ it to Mamie in the Oval Office, tou degenerate fucktard. Go troll somewhere else, Ligue.
In my day, pregnant or not, you’d get a swift backhand to the chops dearie.
We play the Sox ten more times this year. They’d better not lose anything off that lead before they take their August road trip through Boston, the Yankees and Minnesota. Oh, and the Indians have been playing better than both us and the Sox for about six weeks now.
Get ready to gag.
From M-W.com:
Entry: Damn Thing
Function: noun
Etymology: South Side – Chicago
1 : Division Title
2 : Playoff Series
Did anybody notice how many of us you could see on Jeanne’s chest?
2005 World Champs!!!
There was alot of me too. Yuck.
We have no chance to catch the Sox. They are too damn dominant. They are as close to unbeatable as a team can come in baseball. They make it look like they are playing beer league softball teams out there every night. They are that good. There…now forget about us until you decide to look in your rearview mirror and we are 2 games back from you.
Hoffa! Woo! Earhart! Woo! D.B. Cooper! Woo! Judge Crater! Woo woo woo woo!
Yet another day of Cub fans obsessing over the other team. Get “We don’t even acknowledge their existence” up in the bullpen, it’s due for another disingenuous appearance.
I’m beginning to wonder if there has been some sort of passive/aggressive conspiracy on the behalf of Cardinals announcers to call Derrek Lee “Carlos Lee”. The dumbass (Carpenter?) on their WB broadcasts has done it several times in the past two months, and now Joe Buck does it at the All-Star Game. I could see those paranoid wise-asses having a production meeting and coming up with this brilliant idea.
Maybe I’ll go troll the Post-Dispatch site to see if there’s anything there.
This is the point of the season where I like to trade for Roberto Alomar. Who’s team is he on again?
Some moran claims the announcers have a conspiracy to misidentify a player on national TV, and they’re the ones who are paranoid? Enjoy the trolling.
Dude
but, it did seem kind of forced by Buck last night, and after he corrected himself he did say they were having similar seasons. Not saying it’s a conspiracy, just saying Buck is an assbag.
Why would I want to carry your jock strap? Isn’t that Ass-Ramus’s job?
They gave all the credit to that dwarf Eckstein for his great one hop throw. Problem was, that throw hopped on the lip of the grass, not the dirt, hence it did not produce a true hop, and it handcuffed D. Lee, who made a nice mid chest grab. Pujols made a similar play during a Fox telecast earlier in the year, and Buck and McCarver made a huge deal out of it saying stuff like”people don’t realize how tough that play was for Albert” and they began the silly gold glove talk shortly after. Albie is a great hitter, no one is disputing that, but gold glove? What assbags.
Is there any doubt that I am on steroids, HGH, and anything else I can stick or swallow?
I am totally disgusting, during the derby I was waving the venezuelan flag like I was boxing, with my uniform not tucked in. Yelling in spanish like someone had stepped on my toes.
Come to think of it…. I’m the overall package!!
can I be dumbass dujour? please?
I don’t think I take roids or hgh, I think I eat a lot. I am also, closer to 28 or 29 in age.
Look me up in your remote every time Buck and Mc Carver are on.
Then push me, and you’ll have a better telecast.
As background sound you can have dogs barking, a wall being destroyed with a hammer or a Donny Osmond’s LP, all this choices a million times better than this
2 complete ##$&#”#.
at the Derby. We got the shit trampled out of us, then we were used to wrap the remainder of the goat the latin players roasted after the game.
Granted I spared myself from actually watching the Derby, but is waving a Venezuelan flag and having an untucked uniform really that big a deal, let alone “disgusting”? Who cares, Miguel Cabrera is like 12. Of course the kid gets antsy and annoying in public.
Just another Venezuelan F#*k, that Buck…wait a second, he ain’t from there, I no care, I hate heem, he es no fung. He wants an enemy, now he has his self a big one.
you should have seen me, I was really really annoying.
I wasn’t even in HR derby, they brought me as a cheerleader type.
I was all over Abreu, like a girlfriend of sorts.
I was darren baker on roids.
I was completely disrespected and dragged through the dirt, literally, and sweatty faces were wiped on me, some players on the side looked totally embarassed by Miguel, who was acting like a 4 year old wanting an impulse candy bar at the grocery store checkout. I am sure Carlos will keel him for his actions, he was expressing his displeasure on the internet to all 27 of his siblings within minutes.
You wear diapers too, Miguel? Now you can be my favorite, mister dude.
I am to have to stomach Buck year round with MLB and the NFL.
I am also, to a lesser extent, 6 months of Chipy and 6 months of Mc Carver
I have a 1991 Ford Festiva, low miles, no rust, completely babied. Bet you can see yourself in this baby. I can do a much better job of selling you this car, than I can of convincing you I have made baseball better. I am a crotchety old bastard, who smells like Old Spice and day-old chicken.
You know it’s sad, when I am a welcome respite from Buck.
If I would have been the starter instead of the Minion, I would have gained home field advantage for the cubs
Yeah, those cubs need to be worried about homefield. Please, even if that is a joke 44 it’s not funny, the parade is gonna start on the southside this year, ladies.
We’re the shit.
We are shit.
the Bears don’t have a winning record:
We don’t get the “Buck/Aikman fiasco team” as commentators in any game.
Erm, excuse me. WE’RE what Bud Selig smells of.
Oh, we usually bring out the Aikman-Collinsworth-Buck team for at least one of the matchups. Last year we did the one the Bears won.
Hmm,
If I trade Carl Everett now, maybe I can get it him at the trade deadline for a huge splash. I LOOVE trading for Car Everett
Look at my team. I make Jim Hendry look like the worthless oaf that he is. I am the best gm in the game, deal with it. Who has fielded one of the more dominant teams in the modern era? Not Hendry, he has put together bust after bust. Get off of me, I can see the forest through the trees. Hmm…now how many diamonds will the chairman let us put on the rings?
What’s with all the Sux (1,5,10, 19, 23, etc) love on this thing? Get the F out of here. Go find another sandbox to shit in.
Everytime someone stops talking about the White Sox, their trolls try to start it back up again and then they say we’re obsessed with the White Sox when we defend ourselves. Thats funny. When I went to the Cell last week (free tickets), I was sitting down the RF line, and I swear all people could talk about was the Cubs score, talking about how much the Cubs sucked and there was a loud cheer when the Marlins scored 3 runs to cut the Cubs lead down. And this is from a team that was 31 games over .500 and has World Series aspirations.
Meanwhile, the Cubs fans are too busy caring about booing their own players, getting drunk in the bleachers, etc. whatever your stereotypes are about the Cubs, at least its not having an obsession about a team that has no relation to you other then sharing a city. The only time in the 15 Cubs games I’ve been too where I’ve heard the White Sox mentioned was of course at the Cubs-White Sox series. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the White Sox are invisable to Cubs fans, but in the grand scheme of things, they are pretty much an afterthought.
I AM EXTREMELY PISSED OFF THAT I GOT LEFT OUT OF THIS ARTICLE, YOU CANNOT MENTION EENY, MINEY, AND MOE WITHOUT MENTIONING ME. YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS.
BTW, WHILE IM YELLING, BIG UP ON THE BERMAN RANT, THAT FAT BASTARD IS SO CONSTIPATED FROM CHEESE OVER-EATING THAT WHEN HE YELLS EVEN I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT.
I love retards. Seriously, I’d like to sleep on a pile of them. I love them that much.
I root like hell against the Sox–particularly when the Cubs are sucking and the Sox are not. And I can tell you this– if the Cubs were 31 games over .500, I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about the Sox.
A couple weeks ago, I was listening to Sox postagme after an extra-inning victory over Detroit. Some schmuck actually called in and said (and I paraphrase):
“It looks like the Sox will make the playoffs, but there’s always a chnace that they can fade. If that were to happen, do you think the manager (schmuck actually said “manager” instead of OG) and the team will blame the broadcasters like the Cubs did last year?”
I could not believe my ears. It’s one thing to harbor a hatred toward another team. But there is something seriously wrong with the collective psyche of Black Sox fans if they can manage to still fret MORE about the Cubs than their own team’s sparkling record.
If the guy writing the site didn’t want White Sox fans coming back to comment, he wouldn’t write that he doesn’t acknowledge the Sox, that this makes Cubs fans superior, and then resume slagging on the Sox the following day.
The trolls keep coming back when there’s something to troll. If, instead of not acknowledging them, you write that the Sox will fall behind the Twins before June is over, when it doesn’t happen the trolls will come back.
Sox fans hate all things Cub, because we know that our orginization is better every year, yet we get no publicity. The Sox will win this year and in the years after, and all we hear about are the loser ass cubs and their stupid curses, along with their loser ass fans and that dump that they play in. We get angry because we are treated as a second class team, even though we are clearly the better of the two. When I am sitting in Comiskey among the smartest and most passionate fans in baseball in October, I will have a sign asking all of you cub fans how the reception is. You cub fans have no fire, just like your team. You don’t show passion on the southside, you are liable to get you head bashed in.
Why can’t Sox fans come here to Desipio? We are way better to deal with than cardinal fans. This site discusses all Chicago sports, read the dose today.
“you are liable to get you head bashed in.”
That sounds about right. Paging Tom Gamboa, paging Mr. Tom Gamboa.
It’s not fair that the Cubs get all the publicity and we have to read all about them even though the Sox are doing well. So what do we do? We visit Cubs oriented web logs. We don’t have an ounce of common sense between all 12 of us.
59. is right, I’m just here to defend the Sox anyway.
“When I am sitting in Comiskey among the smartest and most passionate fans in baseball in October, I will have a sign asking all of you cub fans how the reception is.”
This just so perfectly describes us. This is pure gold, something that you couldn’t even make up if you wanted to. If we happen to be sitting in The Cell (not just a cell) in October, our thoughts will still be focused on the Cubs. Hell, only 20,000 people will show up because everyone else will be in jail, dead or so fixated on the Cubs that they forget the Sox made the postseason.
Gamboa was in the cub orginization once, if you ask me, he got what he deserved.
If the Sox fans think they get no pub, they ought to instead harass Scott Reifert and Brooks Boyer and both of their departments (media relations and marketing).
Fact is, they have a nice team that is producing more than any Sox fan could have envisioned, yet these same fans are obsessed with an underachieving team one game under .500 in another league.
Regardless, the Sox won’t win the AL pennant. They just do not have the depth.
So, Sox Fan No. 66, what do I deserve?
Well, a few days from now, when Kenny is done dealing, we will be even better…if that’s possible. Seriously, this team is gonna be scary good. A.J. Burnett will be wearing Sox black, and Williams might be able to pry Crawford, Baez, Huff, or some combination of them, for a prospect or two, maybe even McPrior (which would hurt, but be worth it in the long run). It’s not a matter of if this team is gonna win a world series, it’s a matter of how many they are gonna win.
Well Jon, you deserve a place in flub history, right up there with Brock and Broglio. You are headed to the hall and Karchner is a gym teacher somewhere, or something like that.
Sayeth # 69:
“It’s not a matter of if this team is gonna win a world series, it’s a matter of how many they are gonna win. ”
Looks like I can take a vacation, as my supply should be circulating down there for a few weeks.
Don’t be silly, Jon. You know that you, Burhle, Garcia, Contreras and whoever we trot out as a #5 all deserve the Cy Young this year. And you’d get it too, if you were on the North side. Winning is fung, fung is winning.
“It’s not a matter of if this team is gonna win a world series, it’s a matter of how many they are gonna win.”
I love this about the Sox fans. Please, someone make sure this statement is brought back up in October when the Sox get bounced from the playoffs.
No, seriously, Gamboa deserved a pumelling, and I deserve you’re inane kisses. Fuck you, Sox fans! From now on, I’m a Twins fan. Enjoy me being lit up by a pinball machine in the second half!
TJ Brown, you posted a comment about the Sox and looked up the names of the Sox media relations and marketing guys. Clearly you’re so obsessed with the Sox that you follow them closer than the Cubs, or so goes your logic.
Well, I did take two Sudafeds this morning for my cold, I guess that’s as close to meth as anything, you know, because all Sox fans are meth heads. And all cub fans live in giant houses, with Harvard diplomas on their den’s walls, and have beautiful women at their every beck and call…please, enough with the stereotypes. Are Sox fans a little more towards the blue collar tough guy side, sure…that’s fine with me, you guys can be the metrosexual creampuff fans in this city.
I love that the Sox don’t draw, but that their “fans” are pissed about a lack of publicity (which is crap, the Tribune has run the Sox in the big spot on the front of the sports section for the last two months). Why do you want to read about games that you can’t be bothered to watch?
Seriously when did Desipio become one?
Why the fuck would you want Crawford? He bats my spot and plays my position?
Oh, wait. Sox fans are nolejabel, knollegabel, uh… Smart!
Not only do Cubs and Sox fans share a city, they share the Bears. Oh wait. The Sox fans probably root for the Arizona Cardinals
…As I continue to use them…
I will make you guys an honest deal here. If the Sox lose in October, I will come back and allow you all to rip me to shreds, and I will even join in. I promise you, that if the unthinkable happens, I’ll will come here and you guys can let the bombs fly.
“…please, enough with the stereotypes. Are Sox fans a little more towards the blue collar tough guy side, sure…”
But enough with the stereotypes, right?
“cub fans live in giant houses”
Check
“with Harvard diplomas on their den’s walls”
Harvard? No. Diploma? Yes. Beats a ‘net GED and wallpaper.
“have beautiful women at their every beck and call”
Well, having an income makes hookers with more teeth than a Sheybogan WalMart clerk affordable.
Before I plan the victory parade and approve overtime for my cousins, er the police, you may want to take a look at the Sox’s record against AL playoff caliber teams:
NYY 0-0
Bos 0-0
Bal 2-2
Angels 4-3
Oak 2-7
Tex 2-3
Yeah, they have beaten the tar out of the rest of the central, tampa bay and did well in their interleague play (12-6), and ‘you can only play who is on the schedule’ etc. etc., but the Sox really haven’t won anything yet.
So you may be sitting with that sign #60 in October at the Joan, but you may be subject to a tresspassing charge (of course why should that day be different than any other day for you).
…with the no mde plume of “sox Fan” is just something to look forward to, isn’t it?
Here in DC, all we know about the White Sux is this:
1. Their fans beat up old men who weren’t bothering anybody. From behind.
2. Their fans riot over disco records.
3. We enjoyed a more recent WS champion than the White Sux. And we didn’t even have a team for over 30 years.
4. For all the moves genius GM Ken Williams made, this year’s Sux have scored 49 fewer runs than last year’s team (at the break). That’s not good.
5. Richie Daley, one of the dumbest men in America, is a big fan.
Yeah, there’s a team for Chicago to be proud of.
The Sox are the better organization every year! Look at all the pennants they win. 2000 was a dream season and if it weren’t for Fox News, they’d have been World Champs. Go Insurgents!
…is almost as funny as Alex Kaseberg. Oy!
That Michael Moore stuff is so out of place. It just ruins all the funny comments before it. There was some good ribbing going on and then someone throws out a Michael Moore joke? And you guys think I am bad?
Maybe if you turned off the Cartoon Network, BET, etc. and watched the news once in a while, you could understand the humor.
Michael Moore’s posts are just dumb enough to be done by me.
This conversation makes it pretty clear that without us, Cubs and Sox fans would be indistinguishable without their hats on. Take that any way you want it.
No. 75, I didn’t have to look up Reifert’s and Boyer’s names. Reifert is easy to remember as a fellow more difficult to work with than Pannozzo (who can be a major pain in the ass, but then again she’s overwhelmed with media credential requests). Boyer is new and he’s been featured about 1,203 times in the Michigan Ave. newspaper, 1,204 times in the Apparel Center newspaper, and 891 times in the Arlington Heights newspaper.
We were on WGN.
We had legions of fans.
We regularly outdrew the Cubs.
We were a consistent AL powerhouse.
What happened?
Usually people don’t trot out weak political humor on sports sites. There are blogs, some even done by the news stations themselves, that you can go to and talk about bad political humor. I’m sure you can rip on Michael Moore, Gary Treaudeau, The Boondocks, Al Franken and use it in a context that will work there. Oh, I must watch BET because all Sox fans ae poor black inner city youth, right…racist asshole.
The 2005 Sox will make people forget about us.
It is easy to understand your humor Michael, it’s just not funny.
I’m still refreshing and delicious.
Hey 96., if that happens, I’ll come back and we can all have a laugh.
But you Sox Fan are fucking hilarious. Whether intentionally or not. Keep up the brilliant work.
You’ll find that drizzling a little raspberry walnut vinagerette over your spinach salad, will add an essence of all the great flavors of summer.
Sox circa 1960, let’s see:
1. Bill Veeck sold you to John Allyn, who ran the team into the ground, yanking them off Channel 9 and onto UHF-land.
2. The Sox got rid of their likable players.
3. The White Sox No. 1 fan (Richard J Daley) enacted policies to make the south side more segregated than Alabama.
4. Allyn had the team play a bunch of games in Milwaukee.
5. The Sox decided having a powerful-signal flagship station in Chicago wasn’t important so the dull-headed fans would have to switch from one weak FM signal to another several times during a drive from Orland Park to Evanston.
6. Allyn had to sell to an underfunded Bill Veeck, who could only afford to rent-a-player
7. Disco Demolition
8. Veeck had to sell to Reinsdorf and Einhorn, who immediately axed Harry Caray and Jimmy Piersall. (By doing nothing, the Sox could have been sitting pretty in 1983 with Caray calling their games on a superstation).
9. The Cubs got good.
10. The Sox stopped doing routine maintenance on their ballpark in an attempt to get a new park in Addison… or St. Pete (as decrepit as the Tropicana Field-dome is, Reinsdorf found it more appealing than 35th and Shields)
11. Hawk Harrelson became GM, so he could fire the Genius and trade Bobby Bonilla, putting the Sox in a bigger death spiral
12. Hawk Harrelson returned to the booth so he could assault eardrums
13. Cubs install lights
14. Sosa for Bell
15. Sox management taking a hardline on the strike while their team was the best in baseball
16. Terry Bevington: most unlikable sports manager/coach in history.
17. The 1998 Cubs.
18. Seattle makes quick work of the Sox in 2000.
19. The 2003 Cubs.
20. Who are these guys on the South Side.
Sorry, Sox fans, you all did it to yourself. Now go eat some lead paint chips or something.
Yes, because white inner city and suburban youth who embrace the thug lifestyle don’t exist. More stupidity from the south side.
And I am confident that Andy will no longer link to anything other than sports in The Dose. Thank God. I don’t need to read about sheep committing suicide any more. It’s just too depressing.
Thanks Michael, Roger and Me was good, your other movies sucked. Enjoy the biffet.
I meant buffet.
Aren’t I a Tigers fan anyway? Watch the Detroiters go on a big run, inspired by my favorite Congressman John Conyers, and shock the Sox for the AL Central title.
Now if they can only name that fountain at Comerica Park UAW Fountain instead of General Motors Fountain…
Did any other dopes out there originally think I was in Roger and Me when the movie was first introduced to you… i.e. Michael Moore in Roger and Me?
I effectively ended any argument Sox Fan could possibly have regarding Chicago baseball so I started talking about Michael Moore again. Thank God this is a political site too.
I loved when the lady beat the rabbit with a baseball bat and skinned it for her dinner in Roger and Me.
We’re here at Gitmo investigating allegations that prisoners were forced to listen to Buck and McCarver.
Yeah, I didn’t see Garland for Karchner in there. Or the fact that the Sox lead the all time series between the two teams. Or the fact that the ticket prices are fair on the southside and that our own owner doesn’t scalp them to us. Or the fact that the Sox were in 1st place at the time of the strike. A nice new ballpark. More over .500 seasons recently. A two time MVP and a Cy Young to go along with a way more recent no-hitter. Yeah, didn’t leave anything out there.
Shut it down. America sucks. We’re the terrorists.
I had my moments. The world needs a corparate crime fighting chicken now more than ever.
Or maybe just the san deigo chicken.
I had a half season like Garland too.
Ticket prices are fair on the south side because they have to bribe the Sox fans to show up at their games. And as far as ticket prices go, look at your pocket schedule. The Cubs’ games have their own pricing tier at the Cell.
I would bet that 90% of the posts on this site by “Sox Fan” aren’t actually by a Sox fan, but by some random person just looking to piss off Cubs fans. Seriously, go back and read them. Many of them tout Garland for the Hall of Fame. The guy has had a good half season of baseball. No matter how his career turns out, no fan, no matter what stereotypes of the fans of a certain team exist, would brag like that.
Also, the comment earlier about the Sox winning multiple championships is just too far fetched for a fan of a team that hasn’t won a single championship in nearly a century. I think anybody who is a fan of a team that has historically struggled when they make the postseason wouldn’t go around making statements like that. I think they’d be worried about getting one out of the way and then celebrate like crazy if that happens.
Maybe I’m being naive in thinking that these posts are just random Cub baiting. Maybe I’m wrong and this really is a Sox fan that honestly believes Jon Garland’s HOF plaque is being created and the team is getting ready to trade for half of the Devil Rays.
Somebody tell me when the insanity ensues on BC’s trip to Cincinnati. Perhaps he can try out for the WKRP company softball team and can play in the game against rival station WPIG.
That was to take advantage of the cub fans that can’t see their own team in their home park.
I am over.
Hey 116., what’s wrong with having some confidence in your team? What’s wrong with a little optimism?
So if you showed some super secret Sox fan document they didn’t stick it to the Sox fans? Logic escapes you, doesn’t it?
Sox fan, you seem to be a good fan of your team, but in post 111 you mention that the sox have fair prices, a nice new stadium, and are normally over .500. Doesn’t the fact that the cell is half empty, but decrepit, expensive Wrigley constantly sells out games show that the main problem with the Sox isn’t the management or the team, but the fan base.
If I were on the Cubs, I would suck right now. Not neccesarily because of Dusty, but he would not help. The white sox defense is making look brilliant. In a year or two, I will be an overpriced free agent.
Hi Sox Fan (poster No. 111). We’re economists (e-con-o-mists), and actually the three of us have little in common. Adam Smith came around in the 18th Century and is from Scotland, and he is a laissez-faire economist (calling for little intervention from the government). Mr. Keynes was an adviser to FDR and came from England. He preached government fiscal policies (their taxing and spending policies) to influence the economy. Milty lived on the South Side for a long time (Hyde Park) and preached monetarism which called on interest rates controlling the economy’s growth.
Anyway, we can all tell you that the “fair prices” you are talking about are a result of little demand for a product in high supply. You could argue that there is little demand for luxury products in times of recession, but the Sox can not be termed as a luxury product. For some reason, more people prefer to go to Wrigley Field than Comiskey Park. Could be the setting is better, the team is more likable, or that sitting in close proximity to assholes like you repulse people.
I have mandarin oranges on me. It’s the secret that makes me truly yummy.
you are comin back to us? At what conditions? Don’t ever leave us again.
Eighth grade economics. Which might explain why Sox fans don’t understand me.
Guess what? I’m safe!
116,
There’s nothing wrong with a little optimism and confidence. But the posts tend to go a long way past optimism and confidence and into leap of faith and extreme cockiness.
Optimism would be something along the lines of: “I’m think Garland will keep this up. It looks like he’s finally going to show his potential that I’ve hoped he would show for a couple years now.”
Confidence would be: “Hey, we’ve got the best record in the major leagues after half the season. Jeff Brantley was wrong about this team. I think they could win it all. I know that Kenny will do all he can to add some power to the lineup and another pitcher. He’s proven that he’s not afraid to make trades.”
Anyone who can claim, with a straight face, that I am a great ballpark needs a straightjacket and 4 padded walls. I am more of an amusement park than a baseball park. People make fun of Wrigley fans for not watching the game because they are on their cellphones or pass out drunk, but I have actual areas designed to divert attention away from the game.
Yes, I know who Milton Friedman is. I just ordered “Vienna & Chicago : Friends or Foes? A Tale of Two Schools of Free Market Econnmics” And I just read a very nice piece on him in the most recent Liberty magazine, to which I subscribe. But I am a Sox fan so I am a retard right? I am so sick of all of your high and mighty bullshit. you aren’t the only one with a job and an education, you just choose to act like it, fuck off #123.
So Sox Fan No. 130, why is it that the market couldn’t support the White Sox? And what do you think of yourself supporting a team subsidized by the state?
As for me, it’s Go Cubs!
F.A. Hayek
Well, I love it since all of my Sox fan friends are on welfare. Go Sox.
I am getting tired. I am rehashing the same argument over and over. You people need to move on
Oh, we’s got a smart one amongs us! Tell us, 130, Vienna vs. Chicago– is that about hot dogs?
Economics huh? That involves money in my pocket right? I know that word from somewhere, does it have to do with $$$? If so, I think I follow you guys.
We’re happy that the King of the Assclowns is safe.
Well, if it was, I would be all about it. I like a Vienna dog as much as the next guy, and yes I am ashamed that some Sox fans actually use ketchup on their dogs, I do see that practice as sacreligious. It, unfortunately, is something you will see around Comiskey quite a bit. I know, it puts those people in the same category as Wisconsinites.
“Yes, I know who Milton Friedman is.”
Then you understand why your “fair prices” statement goes up there with Sammy’s “I didn’t leave early, right?”
Sox Fan is forgettin to mention me, which might just cause the entire north side to coollectively OD on the south-side-special meth (also produced in MO…)
In Northern California you have to proclaim your hatred for the Dodgers in order to establish your bona fides as a Giants’ fan. But in Los Angeles they couldn’t care less if the Giants are over or under .500. The Dodger fan identifies with his team, not with the success or failure of some other team. Interestingly, the Giant fan tends to ignore what is happening 11 miles away with the Oakland As. I think it is because they believe that San Francisco is superior as a city to Oakland so they don’t have to invest any of their ego points in creating a rivalry, but they aren’t so sure of themselves when they compare San Francisco to Los Angeles. Does the shoe fit, Sox Fan?
Yes, I guess I do, it was heat of the moment, you don’t expect people here to pull out their books thay have been using for grad school. How do you feel about the ethical questions raised by scalping tickets to your own fans though? Here at Desipio though, people get ragged on for spelling errors, so I guess I’m not surprised.
Thank You Sox Fan.
Because of you, Desipiots have spent one day not bitching and moaning about us.
Cubs Fans,
We have special 3 months ready for you. We are planning to have different rookie pitchers throw against us a 60 pitch complete game, a 22 strike out game and a plethora of 3 hitters.
Cubs Baseball, you know you want it.
Glad I could help. Look gentelmen, it’s been fun, I actually have to get back to work, have good day. And remember, if the Sox blow it, which I don’t see happening, I will come back and you guys can tear me a new one…um again, I guess. Later on.
Two tragic events happened today.
Ronnie Woo Woo continued to live and the NHL Lockout died. Bad, bad day.
Them young guys are hard to hit, ain’t got no reports on them, dude. You ain’t seen em in person yet, it’s an unfair advantage, bro.
And yes, people do get ragged on here for spelling errors and I cringe when I see that because most of them are mine.
If Wirtz didn’t own the Hawks, and you know, we could watch them every game, everyone here would be excited about hockey coming back. Remember when everyone cared about the Hawks?
I am even willing to admit that the White Sox are very good this year, and I have been saying so since March.
I just wouldn’t even think to do a google search to find a Sox site so I could go out there and brag about the Cubs.
That is, if there was something to brag about.
I would just stay here and wait patiently for Jake’s next post. He always has quality T&A.
I read the story on Ron Wickers on nbc5.com and I saw that readers e-mailed to say that they saw me:
Visitors to NBC5.com sent notes over the past 24 hours indicating that they had seen Wickman in various locations.
Remember when we posted here? Yeah, that was AWESOME
Anyway, back to the Festiva! This car as all maintainance records, one owner, all babied miles. Come on, it’s cherry, what a fine, affordable, and efficient automobile. This thing has your name written all over it, let me go start the paperwork.
Hey Bud,
I will buy your car if you put a $80 million cap. News ink is going up in price and we need to get the money from somewhere.
How do I feel about the Cubs selling tickets at market prices? I have no problem with it as they deserve to earn what the market will pay for the tickets. What was a problem to me was, did the Cubs diverting tickets to Premium from a sequestered pool of tickets? In other words, did the Trib create an unfair advantage for “their” scalper over other scalpers?
This is just a precursor. Soon, you’ll see each team do their own hottix.com for their day-of-game tickets. Every team should be able to auction their tix and maximize prices.
“Gang, this is not a …smoking ban. If it was a smoking ban, ban all smoking–everywhere. In the house, on the street. Get rid of it all. Let’s be the cleanest city in the world. Let’s start something completely different that nobody else ever did. Let’s go get ’em. If you want to do it, do it right. But, don’t bullshit ’em.”
Mike Dikta
. . .
. . .
If you ran,
. . .
I . . . would only get 60% of the vote.
. . .
Who has me for:
better second half record: Cubs vs White Sox
better attendance: White Sox vs Blackhawks
I don’t realize that you guys don’t really give a shit about the white sox.
I am much more bitter towards the cubs than you will ever be towards the sox.
Nobody has explained to me that like my team, you guys find me simply annoying, no more, no less.
sorry guys, I know I’ve been a prick, I just needed to fell good about myself.
Typing incredible things about my team makes me feel warm inside, near my heart,
and whatever I type feels more believable than anything I could think of.
Once again, sorry.
Iron Mike, you actually made some sense, but people must have missed the memo that we have been pulling people into our smoke-filled restuarants at gunpoint.
I’m afraid of dying alone, with a mustashe and a mullet…and white sweat pants…
win or die try—-aww forget it…
Now accepting bids for me to go to Sox games and sit in the first row!
See you in the World Series bitches, oh wait…this is a schlubs site, I thought it was a Cardinals site, oh, in that case, enjoy your second half bitches.
My Side walls are really low. If the Sox make the playoffs, chances are somebody is going to grab a possible run scoring double down the line, making it a ground rule double and negating the run. Magically, a new bartmen will be created.
Example: 2003 All Star game
When we get Burnett and a bat or two, we will steamroll our way to a ring. Kenny Williams is this year’s Epstein, see you in October, ladies.
Settle down, silly Desipiots. Not all of us hate your beloved Cubbies. Hell, if I absolutely must root for a team that is not the Sox, I will root for the Cubs (this only happens on Sox off-days, of course). We oughta all be less anti-North Side or anti-South Side and a little more Pro-Chicago. Aren’t we all going to feel a bit of pride no matter who goes to the series as long as the word “Chicago” is somewhere on their jersies?
By the way, I love this little site here. It’s genuinely hilarious. After seeing just how dominant good ole Hank White is (see his “modified” batting average), I may even join his fan club.
Anyway, if you come check out Comiskular you may enjoy the kind of game being put on there this year. Just make sure that you leave the Cubs gear at home. Admittedly, some of my fellow fans are assholes and will give you a hard time if you advertise.
That being said, I’ve been to Wrigley. It’s beautiful, awe-inpiring, etc…But I will never go back. It really did smell like urine. :(
Besides our last names, we have nothing to do with the sox.
US: Many runs scored, high ops
WS: low ops, consistant but not high powered offense.
US: Any team with Manny does not have a good defense.
WS: pretty good defense
US: 2nd highest payroll
WS: Cubs are too cheap
US; Strike out pitchers
WS: Not strike out pitchers
US: struggled first half
WS: Awesome 2nd half
The next person that compares us to those ass bags will have to deal with schilling and his buddy jesus.
Sorry about the mistype, the WS have had an awesome 1st half. For the 2nd half, we cannot see into the future.
Hey #91. Thanks for the name drop. It’s kind of cool to be seared into someone’s conscience. So much so that they think of me even when I’m not around. I don’t post as Apex as much anymore because the name seems to produce such vitriol among my fellow Cubs fans. I’ve posted under dozens of different names, some famous, some imaginary or inanimate in order to avoid the type of fray I caused a while back. But sometimes people will post things contrary to the mob mentality of the Desipiot order and the name Apex will be evoked derisively. I don’t really understand that but if it works for you, 91, that’s fine with me. It’s good to know, that if Apex were a real person, and I were him, that some of the least informed, most obnoxious forms of Cub fans anywhere, would despise me. That makes me proud. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to chop onions and tomatoes for my dinner.
What is with that one loser trolling Desipio constantly nowadays? Just go to a freaking White Sox site and talk about your team with people who actually want to hear about them! Jesus, how hard is that?
I couldn’t find a site where people want to listen to me talk about the white sox.
This is the best I could do.
howdy folks, here from hotlanta, home of the brav-o’s.
Honesty compels me to say that Mr Buck and Mr Mc carver are two of the most respected and admired brodcasters in our union. These two folks make baseball
better than it is and I’m very honored to be a part of this phenom thanks in part
to people like them.
I want to also say thanks to my buddy, my pal, Steve Stone.
Hey Chip, how’s the visibility in Hotlanta?
When, oh when will the Sox let me come back to Chicago?
C’mon! You KNOW I’m better than DJ!
Did you hear that home run call of his?
“OHHHHHHHHHHH MY!!!!!!!!!! BYE-BYE!!!!!!!!”
What the heck was that?
The Brav-os need to trade me for DJ.
Whoops! Sorry!
Just the Hotlanta references making me post as the Sox’s missing second broadcaster there. I forgot that I’m on a Cubbie board.
Then again, Tom Paciorek would be an upgrade from Chip. That guy just bugs me. It’s like he hates the very team that gave him a job.
Hey Chip, been to Arby’s yet?
Hey White Sox fans, come to me to talk White Sox.
No way, mang. That cubssuck.com site sounds negative, mang. Negativity is not fung, like winning. Winning, that is the fung!
I’m a little late (even I occassionally work). Red Cross you were beer snorting out of the nose me.
Which one of us is the more annoying?
One of us is the equivalent of the officemate who keeps insisting upon showing you pictures of his Florida vacation, in spite of the fact that you’ve not-so-subtly tried again and again to convey the message to him that you don’t give two shits about it (or him). The other one of us is the officemate who wants to eat up your entire workday with his endless and repetitive fifteen-minute bitchfests about the incompetent vice-president in the corner office whom neither of you has the power to fire.
Both of us are so irritating that we make you want to scream. But which of us would you choke first with your bare hands if the law permitted?
Did anyone hear me and little Tommy Waddle fellate the Sox tonight? First we had on Hawk Harrelson, then we had Marty from Evanston, who we can’t “get” enough of when it “comes” to Sox fans. Didn’t we used to be the flagship for the Cubs?
Yes we did, and that is unfortunate, because we suck. Kaplan is a fucking coward, plain and simple. Waddle, for a former football player, is way too soft as well. Kaplan is one of the biggest chicken little Cubs fans on earth, and he is clueless when it comes to baseball. All he does is whine and complain and kiss ass. Fuck WGN. Seriously, I am terrible, if I had any balls, I would dump the sox telecasts, and talk trash or don’t talk about them at all. You know, be like espn1000 or the score.
Maybe we should spend less time trolling and more time dropping twenty-five cents to watch some mutated form of baseball in our dog dish of a stadium. Fuckheads.
Seriously, I’m totally in love with feebs.
Don’t you just love it when I cherry pick the gigs I want, I bet all the other guys at ESPN really like it when I do that
I don’t know Boomer, I’m usually too drunk to notice, or care.
Boomer, your fellow ESPN employees have a lovely name for what you do, it’s called “parachuting in” for the big events.
I’m sure Scott Van Pelt just loves getting to cover every golf tournament EXCEPT the US Open so you can sweat your way through six hours of Thursday and Friday coverage. Hell, I’m surprised you don’t show up for the final two or three hands of the World Series of Poker.
Hey bitches, before today’s game I want to you to stop and think for a second. Think of how average I was when I made a few starts before the break after my return from colliding with Giles Smurf. Then, think of how I absolutely dominated my way all the way through to the NLCS. Sit back, relax, and enjoy ladies.
We’re with you, Mark, still giving our yellowed 2003 calendar a hug.
I’ve gotten so fat over the years, I can use my pants to parachute into sporting events. I’d use my sportcoats for that, but it’s pretty obvious that I haven’t bought a new one since the debut episode of NFL Primetime. My tan, green and pink jackets still get the job done.
Let’s send it back, back, back, back to Desipio.com.
Didn’t you like the way I was pitching out of the stretch and would come set before pitching during that contest? Good thing Jeanie cut off Earnie Harwell so you guys could all watch me make an ass of myself.
Good thing you came to a full stop, Guy. Otherwise I’d have called a balk on you and you’d have not only lost the money, but the year’s supply of Taco Bell.