Think about being Corey Patterson. You just trudged in off the field after (gasp!) drawing two walks in a AAA game and you’re feeling pretty good about yourself. Then somebody calls your old Cubs’ teammate Jason Dubois to the office and he finds out he’s going back to the big leagues. Only he’s not going to the Cubs, he’s going to Cleveland because the Cubs traded him for another outfielder. Another outfielder who’s going to be on the big league roster while you sit in a clubhouse filled with guys who clip the Ponderosa Steak House coupons out of the Sunday newspaper.
Another outfielder who was brought in for a less than subtle reason. The Cubs needed somebody to be able to fill in in center field in case the guy who replaced you gets hurt. They needed somebody to use…instead of calling you back up.
Ouch, babe.
That, in a nutshell was the reasoning behind the Cubs’ trade of Jason Dubois for Jody Gerut. Jim Hendry looked at his roster and realized that with Adam Greenberg on the DL and Felix Pie on crutches, when Jerry Hairston suffers his annual broken foot (which, he very nearly did on Saturday when he fouled a ball off the top of his left one) it means Wayne Messmer saying, “Leading off, the center fielder…Jose Macias!” Or it means calling Corey back up from Iowa. Something Hendry doesn’t want to do.
If you’re an optimistic Corey Patterson you figure that the Gerut trade is the Cubs’ way of assuring you the time you need at Iowa to refine your swing and get back in the groove. No sense sending you to Iowa for a week only to have to rush you back to the big leagues, still as screwed up as ever.
Of course, if you’re that optimistic, you probably think you can catch a bullet in your teeth.
If you’re a pessimistic Corey Patterson you see the writing in the wall in big letters:
YOU DIDN’T JUST GET PASSED ON THE DEPTH CHART BY MATT MURTON, BUT BY FELIX PIE, ADAM GREENBERG AND JODY GERUT. THE NEXT TIME YOU PUT ON A MAJOR LEAGUE UNIFORM IT’LL EITHER BE IN ANOTHER CITY OR AT A CUBS’ OLD TIMERS’ GAME.
So, this is bad news for Corey, but at this point, who cares? Corey’s living the life in Des Moines, he’s still getting paid his $3 million salary and he’s living in Des Moines! That’s like making $300 million in Chicago, right? I mean, there’s a reason Warren Buffett still lives in Omaha, and it ain’t the babes if you catch my drift.
Actually, I can’t even catch this drift. I have no idea.
OK, but what does the Dubois-Gerut trade mean for the Cubs? Is it a good deal?
Well, it’s probably not a bad deal. Dubois proved to have one tangible baseball skill. If you throw him a fastball he’ll hit it into the next county. He probably would have been a solid major league hitter if he’d gotten a chance to play every day, but at his best would he ever put together a career as good as say…Jeromy Burnitz? Probably not. And if you’re using Jeromy as your gold standard…uh…aim higher.
Gerut can hit righties, which is a useful skill because most of the pitchers in the big leagues use their right hand to do it. He struggles against lefties. He’s a good defensive outfielder but his range has slowed this year after suffering from Corey Patterson Disease (hey, why should Tommy John be the only guy to get one named after him?) last year and having his ACL repaired.
What is unlikely though, is that Gerut will get too many starts with the current Cubs’ roster. Dusty seems OK with platooning Matt Murton and Todd Hollandsworth, but if you think he’s going to use Gerut instead of Hollandsworth, well, you’re apparently unfamiliar with Dusty Baker. Jody may be 27, but if his best chance of starting over Hollandsworth would be to convince Dusty that he’s actually 37. Maybe he should dye his hair white and use his bat as a cane when he walks around the batting cage? He should drop a vial of liver pills on the clubhouse floor when Dusty walks by. That might prove to Dusty he’s experienced enough to finally put Holly where he is most valuable…the bench.
This is the interesting thing about Dusty. He says he wants to find the role that each player can play best and use him there. It’s a noble gesture and sound strategy. Of course, it’s also complete bullshit. Dusty knows, just like you and I know, that Hollandsworth is one of the best fourth outfielders in the game. He can play left or right and even at his age, you could get by with him in center in a pinch (a small pinch), and most importantly, he’s a tremendous pinch hitter. Those are hard to find and Dusty has a guy who is very good at it. So what does he do? He starts him which weakens his bench (and good managers love to have a guy who can pinch hit because they can pick their spot late in the game to use him) but also exposes a guy who is a decent, but not much more than that, as an overall offensive player to 400 or 500 at bats in a season.
It could be that Jim Hendry is seizing control of the roster. In the offseason he did it with the clubhouse sending Sammy Sosa, Kent Mercker, Moises Alou, The Farns, et al. packing. It looks like he’s starting to do it with the roster.
To his credit, Dusty has started Matt Murton against every lefty the Cubs have seen since he arrived, except for Al Leiter because “Holly needed the work.” And Murton went four for five last night. Sure two of the balls didn’t go past the shortstop, but they still count. The more Murton hits, the more Dusty has to play him and the more he has to play him the more he gets used to playing him and eventually Dusty’s playing a young player and doesn’t even realize it.
Dusty’s like a dog that will only take his pill if you wrap it in cheese. Great, now Jim Hendry is forced to wrap his prospects in cheese!
If you were the boss, and you had to either force or trick your employee into doing what you want him to do, wouldn’t you get a new employee?
Then again, maybe there’s a strange satisfaction in giving yourself a handicap and still coming out on top. That’d be great if this were Sunday afternoon at the Pub-links, instead of a Major League Baseball team.
————-
I watched some of the Yankees-Rangers game on ESPN last night. Jeff Brantley said the word “hisself” instead of “himself” at least three times in about ten minutes. He’s like a three year old, mulleted hillbilly instead of just a mulleted hillbilly.
Don’t worry, Corey! You CAN catch a bullet in your teeth! Wanna try?
Great magicians, and generally funny guys, but bumping into Teller in Las Vegas revealed the diminutive one to be a real jerk and cheapskate. He sniffed at well wishers and then proceeded to try to talk down a salesperson for a bargain on an item based on his celebrity. The salesperson told him to take a powder, and Teller berated him in return.
Still, that magic bullet trick is the cat’s ass.
How the hell could the Cubs let Eric Hinske get away?
That MyWay article refered to me as… “The 2004 Democratic candidate for president,” My candidacy lasted all of about five minutes, none of them however, took place during any part of 2004. My highlights that year were endorsing Howard Dean (Pre-scream) and comparing the President to Adolf Hitler. I’m basically an irrational drunken has-been who invented the internet. Don’t all thank me at once.
If you are one of dozens out there interested in what Teller sounds like when he talks, rent the pretty good William Petersen-Virgina Madsen movie “Long Gone.” Petersen plays a semi-pro baseball player in Tampico, Florida named Stud Cantrell.
It has the immortal line, “One thing you’ll learn about women, no matter how innocent they act… All girls f#$%.”
Isn’t the disease named after Lou Gehrig and the surgery is named after me?
that frickin’ Drama…always trying to cock block me. Then he crosses swords with me. Vinny’s got to lose that guy.
How many times does Michael Barrett have to drop a throw to home plate with his mask on before somebody tells him he can see better with it off? I’ve raved on this topic before, but it pisses me off when a catcher leaves his mask on for a play at the plate and drops or misses the ball. He did it again last night in the first inning. Dammit.
Strange that I’m able to see through that mask for 100+ pitches per game (most of which I catch), yet I need to take it off to see on a play at the plate? Sorry Dave, but it’s not the mask’s fault. I’m just not very good.
3 points:
1. The ball hit the runner in the Reds first inning, Barrett didn’t drop it.
2. The wordsmith/jackass Scoop Jackson was on J. Hood this weekend and repeatedly used “hisself” – award winner my ass.
3. Not to sound like Sports Guy, but “Long Gone” is a fantastic, underrated baseball movie.
… like Tommy John Disease make readers like “Tommy John” look like big boobs when they try to act all smart and correct Andy.
Hey, I referred to it as Tommy John Disease! Give me the credit! Andy stole it from me! Actually, he was just making fun of me, but I’m too big a boob to notice.
What, no love for my two home runs last night? No pony for you, Andy.
“For most teams, the best record in baseball at the All-Star break would be a reason to start poppin’ Cris, collars and conceit. But not here. On the South Side, we don’t ride like that.
Can’t.”
What a great article.
the addition of this guy from cleveland is the end of any upgrading
before the trading deadline?
Alternatively, if you simply can’t wait to find out what Teller sounds like and would like to know now, go here and listen to the link :
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4750603
Scoop Jackson and J Hood need to be me.
Great dose. I like the reference to me.
Whoa, when is the last time Baker showed this much open hate for a player of his?
From Muskrat’s latest:
“With Corey Patterson down, Jerry Hairston might have assumed the leadoff role for the Cubs. But don’t think he’s won Baker over just yet.
Hairston, who’s become the regular leadoff hitter in the Cubs lineup since July 8, isn’t quite living up to Baker’s expectations.
‘He’s been doing pretty good,’ Baker said. ‘I wish he would stay out of the air. He’s in the air a little too much. And he could be more aggressive running on the bases, too. But he’s getting better.’
Despite his improvement, though, a trade isn’t out of the question.”
I must have thrown Darren’s lollipop in the dirt, or something.
There’s gotta to be a little bit more to this. Gerut just isn’t a good fit for what we have right now, unless Dusty is planning on leading off with him in CF, and banishing Jerry the Lesser to the video room where he can watch all the Tom Emansky videos repeatedly without interruption until he learns not to slide into first base.
My daddy says that he doesn’t like Jerry Hairston buhcuz he is half black and half white, like a zebra. Um… my daddy thinks that he can’t play well in any kind of weather too. Daddy says he can’t handle the heat or the cold, so he can’t handle anything. I think he is stinky and he is short too.
“Dusty’s like a dog that will only take his pill if you wrap it in cheese. Great, now Jim Hendry is forced to wrap his prospects in cheese!”
::Bu-dum-ch!::
Jason Dubois is our savior. Eat our dust White Sox.
Come on 23, that’s not even funny. Although the Indians did call us out on not being very good…after we swept their sorry asses, again. They will be singing a different tune when they are sitting at home watching us clobber whoever comes out of the NL in the Series. Yeah, Jason Dubois…ooh, scary.
We would make a great bench, but an awful platoon for Left field.
Bet you assbags wish you had one of us right about now.
Eh, not so much. We could use Carlos Lee if you want to part with him though. Oh, wait.
Oh good, it’s “Sox Fan” again. And he doesn’t understand jokes or sarcasm, whee!
I’m a complete waste of oxygen.
With the Cubs healthy and the Nats on the slide, no surprises there, is it too early to think that I am a possibility? Keep in mind that I have the day off today due to illness that includes a high fever. Am I dillusional? Both teams have the pitching.
You are right 30, both teams do have the pitching, ours is great though, the cubs’ is bad. We will most likely be trouncing the cards or the braves in October.
Yep, I’m real bad. Kerry Wood, Greg Maddux, and Carlos Zambrano are also hacks.
Well Mark, you can’t hold a candle to me Jon, Mark or Jose.
Growing up in Las Vegas, I learned that people like commenter No. 31 (ooh, what an asshole, soiling my number worse than Kevin Foster ever did) are the ones who helped build the city with their money.
I am sooo good, that the white sox are trying to replace me. Weeeeee!
Jose, we weren’t going to replace you, we were going to trade you for Burnett and Mota, but for some reason, the Fish wanted to send Lowell instead. We already have Crede, so we said no to them.
Look at my picture, hurry!
I have no idea what the word replace means. Now watch this drive
If we were looking to replace him, we would have done the Lowell deal, we could have gotten a little bit more talent in return for Mota/Burnett. Lowell/Burnett would be a little below equal value, if we were gonna replace him, we would have done the deal. Plus, have you seen Jose pitch lately, he is unhittable just like the rest of the staff. If you do get to them, the bullpen shuts you down and the o comes back…The Sox arre unbeatable.
Okay, geek.
It’s true, they said the same about us. Put Buck Weaver and Eddie Cicotte in the Hall…what’s that?, they don’t belong there, oh yeah, they did stink.
We threw a World Series. The Baseball Gods will not allow us to win another ever again…muhuhahah!!! Bob Brenly is our Moses.
I am a great king sitting upon my throne. What a picture.
I am posting today
You’re right. Red is a good color on me.
Sox Fan: YOUUUUUUU SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
We show up when it’s half-price Monday, Pepsi half-price Tuesday, fireworks night, or a marquee opponent is in town, like the Cubs, Yankees or Red Sox. Otherwise, we are Kansas City Royals fans with a worse stadium and more tattoos.
If you listen to their fans, the sox have already won me this year.
Sox fans care too much to show up. They are just to dedicated of a fanbase to make it out to the games.
The sox won’t be in the series if I cut the brakelines on their team bus.
Then that must explain the losses…er, something.
Tell you what Sox fan…Cut back on your 6 tin Skoal habit and pick up a dictionary.
I will officially wear number 9. Am I Hank White Jr.?
No, Jody is only wearing me to try and be like Hank. I mean look at his HWEqBA. He rocks. Jody wants some of that heat.
The Cubs are wearing blue hats, with red bills, standing on green grass, and brown dirt with white bases.
BRAVE!
I clearly have given my Krispy Creme club card to Mariotti
I got to give the obligatory Desipio plug tonight. I very clearly enjoyed referring to the Hank White Fan Club.
Derek is wearing me again
Some asshole named Derek is wearing my triple crown? I’ll kill him.
The funniest thing about me is how Len said the fan club was so excited about that big game Hank White had a few days ago…which implies that he read all of those comments we made on the game thread, creaming our jeans over the greatness that is Hank and his postgame interview.
I’m where the Reds will be going to fill their bullpen by Thursday.
I had to cleanup the “creaming our jeans” line for our family viewers.
Creaming in the jeans? Wha??? I hope that doesn’t offend my imaginary family, hehehe…..a little lower Craig, there you go, mmmm………
Errrr yeah. That Sox troll I see above is an idiot. Mark Prior is welcome to be the #2 on our staff anytime. What do you Cubbies want for him? My firstborn child? A steak dinner at Outback? Some shiny glass beads?
We can’t afford him without firesaling our team. :(
Anyway, I wanna send a shoutout to Hank White. I notice he went 1-3 with a walk today. Put that punk Barret on waivers…There’s no stopping the new and improved #24 (I think?) Commander Hank White.
As for KKKorey…Pfft. I’ll play our theme song for him…
*cues it up*
NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY GOOD-BYE!
Later, Desipiots. I’m off to yell at idiots speculating about Sox trades on my own board!
The above poster in #64 seems like a reasonable, intelligent, even-handed guy with a good sense of humor and no chip on his shoulder.
And yet he roots for the White Sox.
I no longer make sense.
“Later, Desipiots. I’m off to yell at idiots speculating about Sox trades on my own board!”
If only this had been done without coming here to tell us about it…
Why is my comment awaiting moderation?
I mean, how many sox fans would call us Desipiots? And Derek, maybe it’s awaiting moderation because no one named Derek is up for it…some guy named Derrek is though.
As a card carrying, Cub Kool Aid drinking Cubs fan, this is how I think.
The Brew Crew manages to beat the Cards the next two games, the Cubbies sweep out of Cincy, and then take three at Busch League Stadium this weekend – we’re back to 7 games out with a lot of baseball left to play.
Will it happen? No -f’ing way.
Is it fun to think about? You betcha.
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I love how moron Sox fans imply that they’re actually involved in the moves the team makes by saying “We can’t lose” or “We need to make a move”. So do you actually consult with Jerry & Kenny about trades? They couldn’t care less about what you have to say.
Sadly enough, as a Cubs fan, I will take pleasure not hearing Sox fans say they have the best record in baseball, because the Cardinals will reach 70 wins first and will have claim to the best record in the bigs.
Oh, I also can’t wait to hear Joe Crede’s (aka the lamb) defenders saying Joe never takes his batting slumps in the field. Didn’t Average Joe drop a foul ball that led to the demise of the Sox last night, opening the door for Manny?
The only reason I took the job in the booth is so I could get my foot in the door for the managers job that will soon be vacant for the Cubbies.
Scoop Jackson’s writing is brilliant… if he was a fifteen year old. Is it just me or is his writing unbearably effortfull. It’s like the guy has constipation of the brain. If that’s award-winning journalism then we’ve fallen a long way from the days of Thompson, Plimpton and Mailer.