Pitching matchup
Snakes: Admiral Halsey, 6-7, 4.00 ERA
Cubs: Jerome Williams, 3-3, 4.91 ERA
Shop the Desipio/Pointless Exercise Store
Pitching matchup
Snakes: Admiral Halsey, 6-7, 4.00 ERA
Cubs: Jerome Williams, 3-3, 4.91 ERA
How sweaty will I get today?
Jerome, I am going to have to go with “very”
Hopefully, you can avoid seeing “those little white things” that Greg saw the other day. Though if you do, it may just be light reflecting off your pookah shells.
Has Dusty announced his lineup for today?
FUck it, games over, I’m already sweating and I haven’t even started warming up yet. I blame it on hyper-hydrosis, though the truth lies somewhere in the “I am too fat and out of shape” range.
Is it true that Hub is really gone from the Bears booth?
Haaaaaaands across the water. (Water.) Haaaaaaaands across the sky.
Yep, you guessed it. He gone!
Yes Milkhammit, it is…and you can purchase my magazine “Pro Football Weekly”, if you want to continue hearing my bullshit. Do you like my earring? My son Arthur does, and he was our spotter in the booth.
No me Hawk?
What does it say about me that whenever there’s a Cubs Live! thread, I tend to refresh frequently in anticipation of the moment when Wayne Messmer posts: “Brave!”?
And then, when he does, even though I know full well it’s coming, I chuckle anyway?
The Cubs lineup is in:
1. Hairston, CF
2. Cedeno, SS
3. Lee, 1B
4. Ramirez, 3B
5. Barrett, C
6. Burnitz, RF
7. Perez, 2B
8. Murton, LF
9. Williams, P
Arizona:
Craig Counsell 3B
Chad Tracy RF
Luis Gonzalez LF
Troy Glaus 3B
Tony Clark 1B
Shawn Green CF
Alex Cintron SS
Chris Snyder C
Admiral Halsey P
Cubs:
Jerry The Lesser CF
Ron Ce SS
D Lee 1B
E-ramis 3B
Barrett C
Jer-o-my RF
Neifi 2B
Murton LF
Williams P
Swing at everything, guys!
I’m playing and batting second??!! Is this right??!!
dudes, how you like them apples dudes?
no walker today dudes because he’s coming in to pinch hit in the 8th and he’s gonna be part of my patented late inning double switch dudes.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to bat me second? Or do I need to be in the 8th spot to protect Neifi
“It was worse [Tuesday] night,” Baker said when asked to compare the fans’ response last season and now. “At least they didn’t say, ‘Hawkins [stinks]’ before. That was bad. I was in the dugout saying, ‘Sorry, Hawk, but we’ve got to beat you.’ If you’re going to boo, you boo, get it over with and go about your business. That gave me chills a little bit to wonder who’s next on that kind of magnitude of the booing list.”
Wait a minute. Is Baker saying he’s next?
“I ain’t saying nothing,” Baker said, “but it’s a possibility.”
One would think I should be batting second and Cedeno 8th…
Oh well, me and Barn are going to go down to Floyd’s and see what’s doin’…
For when the Steve Stone puppet asks, the visibility sucks.
expect some D’backs references from me today folks. some stories of gracie, mr colangelo and our world championship.
“I thought it was disappointing,” Dempster said of the crowd’s booing. “Instead of cheering for us, they seemed more preoccupied with booing him. To me, that didn’t make sense. Instead of being happy that we’re scoring runs, they were happy that he was giving them up and booing him. Instead of being in a close game and worrying about us coming back, they were more excited that they got to boo Hawk.
“To me, that was kind of disappointing, and hopefully it doesn’t happen again,” Dempster said.
Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!
“He puts the ball in play,” Baker said of the red-head. “It’s like with [Jason] Dubois when he was doing pretty good. I try to match [Murton] up early in his career against guys who I think he has a chance of hitting. You take baby steps at first and then there comes a time when he’s ready to play against everybody. He puts the ball in play, he can run — he runs better than he looks like he can run. He’s a tough out.”
Murton, 23, had a .290 average in the Minor Leagues at the start of this season, and got the same pep talk that Baker got from Hank Aaron.
“When I was 24, I was batting behind Hank Aaron every day,” Baker said. “That’s your job. That’s what you’re supposed to do. If you can’t handle it, you won’t be here too long.”
Aaron’s message to Baker?
“He said, ‘Hey, man, you can respect them and hold them in high esteem but don’t hold them in too much reverence or peek at them too much because these are the same guys who are going to get you out,'” Baker recalled. “‘Respect the guys you watch on TV, but don’t give them too much respect because they’re trying to get you out.'”
KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
Shawn Green in center? And isn’t Tracy a first baseman? This could be entertaining. I guess it can’t be much different than watching Michael Tucker.
Omg, CUbs fans aren’t supposed to be mean or care. Heck, that’s why we come here, you know, to be cubby bears. This sucks. Expectations suck. Where is my shrink when I need him?
Dudes, you know Aramis is hurting, so I have Walker to sub for him once that lefty is out of the lineup so I can get my R-L-R-L mojo going in the middle of the lineup. All I do is put Walker there and move Neifi to third, cause he’s an everyday utility player, you know dudes. And dudes, they know Aramis is hurt, so I need the threat of a left-handed bat to protect MVLee. I’m telling you, it’s genius dudes, I’m taking us to the playoffs dudes. Now let me go sprinkle the infield with magic dust dudes.
Pat, I don’t remember Arizona having a big-league team when I played.
dudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudes dudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudesdudes dudes dudes dude dude dudes dude dudes
That should cover all of us for dudes and dude today, now pretty please shut the fuck up
I have the AZ team’s feed today. That means a lot of people are turning down their sound as we speak.
Dude, chill out, dude.
Best. Lineup. Ever. (given the current roster that is.)
If we can’t win with this lineup then I will recosider ever doubting Dustys’ lineup skills. This is exactly how it should be laid out. Lets see if we can win one with it and make Dusty keep it.
I am a decision that is a part of the best linup possible?
Interesting lineup today. I’d like to see Magical Matt Murton bat anywhere but 8th, but it seems Dusty wrote that one in pen. Cedeno is a nice choice in the two-hole. And it’s good to see that Ram will play today despite declaring himself injured yesterday.
Living here in AZ, I got a preview in the paper this morning of the D’Backs roster changes. They cut loose Jose Cruz Jr. and brought up stud first base prospect Conor Jackson so that he can platoon with Tony Clark. Whatever. With the defense they’ll be employing in this series anything hit to anywhere but short should be a man on first or better.
alright, dudes. Let’s try a something different. Santo has “big boy”, Sammy has “buddy”……..
Chief? Kingpin? Sport? Ace? Guy? My Man??
Nah……….DUDE it is!
We’re taking it on the chin again folks. We’ll be stone dead in a week and playing the rest of our home games in Manilla. Look for us to play spoiler quite a bit though down the stretch. We hope.
dudes, I used to say “bro” and “bros” a lot, but you didn´t like it dudes, and being a west coast dude I returned to the “dude”. Ok, dudes?
That’s bodacious, Dusty man. I mean really tubular.
Does this mean there’s a cure for me now?
How come I can’t play?? I’m a crafty veteran!
Oh yeah. I suck.
We are annoying and we talk too much. We like to pretend we’re adults by saying what grown people say and we think we’re really funny but we’re not. But now we have computers so we can annoy the big people on message boards. And apparently we dig the word, “dude(s).”
Brave!!
We happen a lot
hahahahahaahaaa
It’s colder then Hawaii in the winter, I can’t pitch in this!
Chill out, dude.
Does anyone else miss making fun of me during games?
Our old pal Bob Brenly and me both think Burnie is a huge upgrade over Sammy.
No, but they miss ripping on me.
Me too, Mark.
#43,
Agreed. We seem to love getting behind in the game early on…
#43,
Agreed. We seem to love getting behind in the game early on…
(Booing Hawkins and Patterson) “It’s not making anything easier (to sign free agents)…guys now are asking me if it’s like this all the time here…this kind of thing is going to make it tougher.”
So the Yankees, Mets, Phillies, and Red Sox, among others, find it impossible to sign free agents because their fans boo players?
One run won’t win this ballgame.
D*** double post.
I am now hitting .531/.583/.781 in 36 lifetime plate appearances against the Cubs with 5 runs, 2 HR and 9 RBI
I am unstoppable!
#53, Dusty obviously underestimates the power of me. What else would you expect from a mystic… and an asshole?
The Cubs love hitting into us. Especially in fron of D.Lee.
Dammit.
Time to chain that dumb rookie to the bench. I’ve seen enough.
Now THAT is what the No. 2 spot in the lineup is supposed to do. Well done, Ronny!
7 pitch first inning? I wish the Cubs were in the west.
Early on, this game has “oh, one of these games again”written all over it.
We’re higher then Rasheed Wallace the last two games
7 pitches x 9 innings = 63 pitch complete game in an hour and 22 minutes. I’m the second coming of Cy Young, female doges.
Who out there thinks the Cubs are gonna put a claim on me?
Nice try, bitches.
Seriously,
The more other teams send the runner to stay out of the double play (as they just did with Green and Cintron), the more obvious it is that Dust Bag rarely does.
Thank god Green’s a big enough dumbass to get caught stealing third afterwards, but my point remains–until this team gets a manager who’s involved in the game and applys pressure to the oppsoing team’s defense, we will shorten more innings than is ever necessary.
Don’t make any judgments about the offense or the game until you’ve seen me.
Don’t worry guy’s, I’ll get it together in while. I’m just still surprised the boss put me in today!
I don’t know Jose, but I’ll get right on it. I’ll check with my source out west and get back to you.
Isn’t that illegal when the runner on first takes off before the pitch crosses the plate and then the batter swings at the pitch.
It should be. What the hell is that anyway?
Did I just see that Shawn Green was caught trying to steal 3rd?
You can’t steal on me bitch’s!
Yes
One of the things said about Dusty when the Cubs hired him was how all these players loved to play for him and how this would help him bring players (most notably, free agents) to the Cubs. Can anyone think of anybody Dusty has “lured” to the Cubs during his three off-seasons as manager?
I am sweating balls out here bro!
Neifi, macias, Calvin Murray
I heard Macias had a no-trade clause with Montreal. He waived it to play for Dusty. Does that count?
Hey Dave B.,
I came here because Dusty was here!
Dave, I think Dusty is usually given at least partial credit for Walker’s signing of a below market deal(for a backup spot) for 2004. Other than that, no.
I sound like a sober Kermit the Frog, and just like Jim Henson, I used to own the Sears Tower.
I want to play for a real team! Hey Jim, how about a deal?
Don’t forget about me either.
Stolen bases. . . the hit and run. . . sacrifices. . . a manager craves not these things.
Dave B, can you name some examples where a manager has been responsible for free agents signing with his team?
Hey Stech hit one on the nose a while back in post #25!
So far, your Cubs have benefitted from one play due to an inexperienced outfielder.
Chad Tracy in right…turns a soft fly into a double…is that what I should interpret from what MLB.com is telling me?
A runner on 2nd with 1 out? Time for 2 quick pop-ups!
I told you bitch’s! I’m on today! WOOOOOO!
So I just read Jim Bouton’s “Ball Four.” Quite an excellent book in that it “tells it how it is” and such. I know it was quite controversial at the time, but it seems kind of tame 35 years later. Does anyone here remeber when the book first came out, and want to comment?
My one cogent point all year is how Burnitz hits lefties well because he keeps his shoulder in.
And I’ve been beating this point into the ground ad nauseum all year.
it’s time, bitches
“Ball Four” came it in ’70, I believe.
I love you, Neifi.
Hence, 35 years later, as Greg said.
Burnie is just a gamer. He plays hard every day and keeps his mouth shut (as compared to other right fielders who played here in wonderful Chi-Town where you are allowed to put ketchup on your bratwurst).
Hey we are having a party at wrigley field and everyone is invited.
Hey Gracie, what the hell would you know about keeping your mouth shut?
I’m having a pant party!
I keep my mouth shut because I sound kind of borderline retarded when I talk. No offense to retards.
Boss told me not to score till the 8th!
If your mouth’s not closed, your smoke falls out.
I reccomend Bill Lee’s “Spaceman” “Ball Four” broke down the wall, so to speak but Lee’s book was more entertaining, IMO. Came out around ’83; I haven’t read it since then but I’m confident it’s s till a good read.
I scored from first on a single last night. Why were you playing my bro and not me?
A party? I’ve been living in this freakin’ place since 1945!
Man, I wish my old pal Greggie were pitching today.
Damn steroid ban has robbed me of my wheels!
Jinx.
I scoff at your pitiful ass, Barrett! Most definitely.
God I’m awful.
A 76 year old man not only stole on me, but I’m such a coked-out spazz that I threw the ball away.
But saint Neifi is perfect! However did the ball not find his bless’ed glove?
As long as the book club is meeting…has anybody else here read Cub Nation? I did, and I was pretty disappointed in it, but so far everybody else I talk to thinks it’s great.
Gracie says it’s Jerome’s fault not mine.
CT–
Stop hanging out with fanboys like me and maybe you’ll get objective folks who will agree with your opinion.
Whee, book club! Has anybody bought my coloring book yet????
I colored the first couple pages but I felt some discomfort in my shoulder.
Hank White’s Value Over Michael Barret just increased .35 to 52.42
Matt Murton.
Wow.
Good thing Dust Mite’s got him batting 8th.
Moran.
Whee! The book club is back.
Best line in Ball Four, when the guys are critiquing the skank one of them brought home from a bar, “She looked like Joe Torre with tits.”
I liked Cubs Nation, but I think Wojo wrote it with the idea that he’d have the playoffs to do a lot of the really interesting inside stuff and instead got stuck publishing all the stupid fluff pieces on the firehouse across the street, etc., etc.
Dave, I rarely listen to your show, so that ain’t it. I just know I’ve seen it referred to by most Cubs bloggers as Gene Wodlgkjsghhsd’s excellent Cub Nation.
Fuck you Dusty. YET again.
(I can’t actually say it, but I’m thinking it.)
Am I Cabrera enough to play every day yet?
Read Cubs Nation and had the same reaction, CT. It was nice in that the games were all still fresh in my memory so the stories filled in nicely there. However, it doesn’t hold up on its own merits. BTW, where’s the commentator? Back to your regularly scheduled program…
Hey Dusty, Fuck you Bro!
Mike, Murton’s got to bat 8th, to give Neifi some protection.
Nice AB Murty. Watch the sun, kingpin, your kind of pale
Dudes, I put a singles hitter in the 8-hole so he can get on and get sacrificed to second for the top of the order. It’s called setting the table. Dudes, it makes sense. Now let me get back to planning my double switch… I think Lee needs a part of a game off – Walker is coming into play first female doges.
Boring. Same type of crap you read in the Tribune every day. The only decent book on recent Cub teams worth giving a look is called, “Oops, they did it again” by some dude I’ve never heard of. It’s a riot.
Williams-59
Halsey-28
Which one pitches for the Cubs?
Not Walker — let ME play first!
Matt Murton is hitting .500 28 at bats into his career.
Wow.
Just, wow.
I hope D-Lee is not mad at me when I take away his chance to win the triple crown by batter .500 for the season.
I’m Murton’s BA now
Make that the best-selling, award-winning Oops, They Did It Again. Which would have been best-selling had it sold more and award-winning had it won an award.
NONE of you assholes bought my Cubs alphabet book?
Damn it it all, Kerry really will need to set up a car dealership soon enough.
Boring. Same type of crap you read in the Tribune every day. The only decent book on recent Cub teams worth giving a look is called, “Oops, they did it again” by some dude I’ve never heard of. It’s a riot.
Murton, you can become the Red Headed Jesus
I worked two games of the Iowa State Tournament last night in Principal Park, current home of Corey Patterson. I did get to see the Rally Carp near one of the gates in the afternoon session, but we were in a hurry to get to our pre-game meeting and I didn’t see her anywhere at the night session. She looks better than her I-Cubs photo gives her credit for.
If it worked for Oprah, why not me? I’m actually not a half-bad idea.
Here’s where that happens
Nothing bad can happen, dudes — Neifi’s on the field!
The sweat is getting in my eyes man!
I am causeing dusty to have nightmares and forcing him to call needless pitchouts
So does that mean I’ll cause Dusty to have more nightmares and call needless pitching changes and double switches?
Here we are doing our best Cubs imitation.
How many would give a nut for me? A toe? how bout your non rubbing arm?
I’m causing 143 to use too many vowels
Do you think Dusty will let me PH for Murton next time up? We haven’t scored any runs with him in the lineup yet today, I think it’s time.
Cubs like to give me up in spots like this.
I’m going to tell random stories when the DBacks are threatening score, leaving my listeners with no idea what is happening in the AB
Fuck yeah they do.
Or else one of these.
I’ve been told I look like Mick Jaggers left testy?! I don’t think so! Do you guys?
Or else one of these.
And I’m a dope.
Bill Lee’s book was “The Wrong Stuff” not “Spaceman”. Spaceman was his nickname and his book’s title was a pun on the hit movie from around the same time about astronauts.
Attaboy, Poi Dog. Way to not crap your pants.
I hear I’m the best form of flattery. But if you’re the D-Backs, you’d want our record cause you’d be leading the NL West, so why not play like a team better than you?
Since when are you guys leading the West?
Halsey sucks!
the d-backs want Imitation’s record?
I never get a day off around here.
I’m in a major slump. Only two hits yesterday and today… I’m hitless.
= stylin’
Has anyone else noticed that my average is down to .365? Maybe Hendry should be trading me, as I’m obviously regressing to the mean.
Hey, a soft throwing lefty, and we have done nothing. Imagine that.
See #145. Now you’ll know what I was talking about.
Cubs record: 52-49
Padres Record: 51-50
If Cubs were in the West, would be leading division.
Stop being stupid female doges.
This kid’s stealing my gimmick! Cut that out!
Jim Hendry doesn’t do anything! Fire his ass! He’s worse than Larry Himes!
I’m talking out of my ass faster and ever faster.
Well, obviously I ought to be run out of town for sticking up for “enemy pitchers” or whatever. As if we’re actually in combat or something.
So here’s my theory in action…thanks to all the base cloggers in front of him, Tony Clark has 16 home runs and only 21 runs scored…you just can’t clog the bases in front of your sluggers…
Dude…
Dammit, you guys made me throw too many pitches that inning!
Who needs DLee when I am around
And here’s more…the fewer pitches a pitcher throws, the less of a feel he’ll have for the pitches…that’s why I want my guys to swing…
Dude…
Halsey is putting on a clinic. He;s a pitcher AND a thrower.
Oh, and Fergie got the wins but not the strikeouts. Even T(h)ommie agreez wid me here in Glorious Chi-Town.
Hey you guy’s! Stop calling me Opie!
Through 4 innings:
B. Halsey – 43 pitches
J. Williams – 83 pitches
In the immortal words of Dolan.. “Woof.”
You have to approach every game like it’s being played on the streets of Fallujah. “Win or Die Trying”
I would have made that play look effortless.
How come Ryno is getting all the attention? He’s kind of becoming a media whore compared to me, no?
Thanks Jerome, Tracy is on my fantasy team.
I love the Cubs!
anybody else getting the Grace/Brenneman broadcast?
WTF
You are all my enemique.
Yes, everyone that has me.
I’m hearing the Grace/Brenneman broadcast but not getting it.
What would happen if the Cubs aquired all Cubs killers on their team. Tracy, Castilla, Reed Johnson, etc.
Would they dominate like they are supposed to and win the Cubs the WS, or would the Cub in them be too much and they would suck?
Oh wait, ask Gary Gaietti or Jeff Blauser
Braves are giving serious thought to pissing me away right now.
Maybe you should try worrying about the close ballgame we’re in.
#187, don’t you remember when the Cubs signed me to test out that theory?
I am the number of innings that Thom and Gracie went with out mentioning Steve Finley.
What is it with them and FInley?
The battling Braves, being the Best Baseball Team Ever, will strap on their hitting shoes and shotput a couple moonshots in the next inning, anyway!
Yeah, sure. Whatever, Boggs.
Like I’m sure Ryno’s getting plenty of attention in ME.
I used to kill the Cubs.
Number of innings I’m sure Thom and Gracie went without mentioning Fatty Arbuckle, either…
Hey Chip what about us??
Caramis is in me right now, and pulling for Ryno…but he’s about the only one.
Wade Boggs likes to kill us. He was pissed when he found out he couldn’t hunt a unicorn, he could hit, but man, he’s dumber than us.
Why don’t I get a column with Yahoo then?
Ryno should be run out of town! He didn’t even give his opinion on the LaTroy booing! Who needs an indecisive bum like him?
Yes, we are the true mark of media saturation…wtf?
My tires will be slashed after this game.
Yes, all Cub fans that booed me need to die. I’m a Cub legend.
The Diamondbacks have me.
I love hitting pop ups.. Korey taught me ho to do that..
Am I in some kind of competition at the moment?
Chad, did you drive up from Arizona? Or is somebody at the BOB going to slash them?
5 pitches…damn this is easy, these Cubs really are playoff caliber.
We are Len Kasper and Bob Brenly…Imagine That!
That’s right exactly. I said, “all Cubs fans that booed LaTroy need to die.” I’m glad you kept the quote so accurate.
Murton grounded out…BOO!
This is the execution of our hitters.
I’m for the execution of their coach
Who dreamed up this shit? We need to hear tHom and Gracie like we need to be shot in the face with a cannon.
Nice catch, Barrett. You hump.
BOO! WTF WAS THAT?!
All right, forget it…you guys sure do get defensive about your legends…
Now I’m going back to my freid chicked and easy women…
I don’t think I was quoted up there #210, so fuck off idiot…oh that’s right, you are a mind reader worthy of Desipio, are you the joke police too?
I think I’m a Tandy!
“Im doing so good it ought to be illegal…Nice ring Gracie….Ha ha ha…I’m gay.”
Len was explaining how the Cubs had a meeting right before the All-Star break and how everything changed. They started taking pitches and went from second in the NL Central to third.
I ain’t no Hank White.
Hey Andy, welcome to my world. (Thom and Gracie)
Thanks, Michael. I needed to throw five extra pitches to get this guy out.
No, you ain’t.
Remember when every time we played the Cubs a few years back Fox Sports Net would let Joe Buck and I just bitch slap Chip and Joe Carter around? Yeah, always a good idea.
Did tHom really say, “Three bases if not more” on Green’s triple? Did tHom think Green was going for Kelly Leak?
FYC! I don’t even know what that means, I just always wanted to say it.
Do you think the D-Backs fans over at Gracie’s Slump Busters.com are all lamenting that this game looks like their team is trying to give it away? It has the bizarro feel of yesterday, where the Cubs were the ones that were flushing the chances.
The expectations for this team are higher now than they’ve ever been. I obviously haven’t been to desipio lately.
Bob Brenly: “LaTroy’s a wonderful human being…BUT…”
What did Barrett do?
I just defended the fans for the LaTroy incident.
Williams should be able to go another 30-40 pitches. After all, he leads off next inning so I can’t exactly take him out now.
(what’s that you say? Double switch? Hollandsworth? I like it!)
Are the D-Backs going to squeeze here, or what?
Dusty? I think that’s quite enough of Jerome now.
We’ve got 1 out and a man on third, let’s do the exact opposite of what dusty would do here.
Brenly should really keep his thoughts on the players’ asses to himself.
MIA today but would be welcomed.
Well, Brenly is an asshole! He made me take off my dead mom’s necklace that one time, remember?
I’m fat and tired. If Buddy Ryan were here, he’d rip my giant black ass.
Looking good out there Jerome!!!!
Zzzzz…..
Unless, he’s talking about my cute butt.
A strikeout to Snyder would be me right now.
If you bring Wuertz in here, I guarantee he’ll walk in a run.
120 pitches, keep it up dude!
We’ve got enough love for your ass, Scott
I think we need to just let Williams work himself out of this mess, he still has 40-50 pitches left in him.
Duuuuuuuuude
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….bases loaded? hmm….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Screw having bad strategy, I should be arrested for abusing yound pitchers.
Have I ever worked?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….bases loaded? hmm….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I knew that sumbitch was going to double switch.
This is a rather painful combination…though imagine how even more awful a mix of Thom and Chip would be.
You shouldn’t have made the last out, kid.
That’s what this game is about to be ….
I think we need to just let Williams work himself out of this mess, he still has 40-50 pitches left in him.
Duuuuuuuuude
Only in Sutcliffe’s simulated games
Always a good idea to take out a guy hitting .490 or whatever Murton’s hitting now.
Watch, Ohman won’t pitch in the seventh, making it even more moot.
See, this is my way of getting Halsey out of the game.
For the moment the Cubs trail the WC leader by me. But I’m open for negotiation. Do I hear 3? Three it is! Sold to the portly gentleman with the toothpick.
Ha ha, told you guys what I was going to do!
Murton’s only hitting .483, whaddya want me to do, keep him in?
They couldn’t ditch this simulcast bullshit during the commercial?
Dusty you dumb ass why don’t take out mr pop up instead of me
Who’s this Gerut dude and where’d he come from?
Ohman may not last the inning
You don’t want to give me anything to hit
Now is where Chip would scream “No place to put him!”
Ah, the ol’ squeeze play! I knew it was coming!
We are probably still in Arizona on Chad’s car.
Brilliant strategy there by Bob Melvin. Ohman hadn’t thrown a strike so the D’backs give him an out with a botched safety squeeze.
Your shitbag offense isn’t even making me work today–it’s like a day off–so I figured I’d give up the runner on third and get on first so I can actually, you know, break a sweat.
See, I told you we could stop the squeez! DudRE!
why wasn’t I invited to this orgy in broadcasting?
AAREERGHGHHHTRRGH
Nope, 268, we just took care of it. He drives a Prius, the little sissy.
They couldn’t turn a DP with the pitcher running?
Who put the stupid pills in the water over here?
I am possibly worse than Gene Wilder or JFM. Bet you did not think that was possible
Watch me bunt for an RBI base hit here, or something equally infuriating.
Dave B drives a 2005 Nissan
If Counsell doesn’t dive he beats Ohman to the bag and drives in a run.
How ’bout a walk, hmmm???
Hmmmm???
Is secret family recipe! HEE HEE HEE!!!
Hey, He stole my move!
Make that “drove” a 2005 Nissan.
Wow! Got out of it! I stand/sit corrected
I scored the winning run yesterday! Without me, the Giants would still be here and we’d be in the 178th inning.
The Cubs have pitched out of me often today. And Jerome is enjoying some of me right now
And you think our offense is inept.
Ohman needs to be made an example of.
What is that? 3 times this year he doesn’t instinctively run to cover first on a grounball hit to the right side? Ridiculous.
yes #287, we do.
how sad is it that our loogy is the best setup man in the bullpen
Will I get the ball out of the infield?
I am making excuses for Ohman’s inability to get over to first, saying that when he finishes a pitch, he’s in the third base dugout.
These D’Backs are so Cub-like:
> Crappy, annoying announcers
> Poor offense
> Stranding runners on 2nd & 3rd with less than 2 outs
If the Cubs ever wanted to see their exact double, look across the field to the other dugout…
Holy crap, they’re still doing this simulcast thing?
Why the hell is Gerut taking pitches out there?
We’re here with Mark Grace, who’s career stats are trivial…most hits in the 90’s…ha, how random!
Gerut’s hit is me.
Mark Grace: “I’m gonna go Saturday and see the induction.”
You think Ryne didn’t tell him it was Sunday for a reason?
We’hee!
I’m going to go Saturday and score with Margaret.
So tell us, Mark. Just how fat was the biggest barfly you ever banged?
JO-DEE, JO-DEE, JO-DEE
The Cubs have been walking the tightrope this week more often then we did.
I move well for a 63 year old.
Grace’s distinction will be that he’ll be the only guy (besides Pete Rose*) who had the most hits in a decade that DIDN’T make the HOF.
I liked Grace when he palyed for us but today I fart in his general direction.
Well, despite Dusty’s stupid move, we have a man on second….and Jody Gerut has his first Cub hit.
Ooh, I want to tell the story about Santo spilling coffee on this scorebook and yelling, “Shit!” on the air.
Damn, that sucked.
Never trust anyone under 30.
Enough of this nonsense. I’m going yard.
Why don’t you tell them the story about how I once punched you in the face?
I’m good.
You morans, do you not see who is on deck? You better walk me, too, or it’s going to be 3-1 in about twenty seconds.
Dick Pole: Hey Dusty, why not try a squeeze with Cedeno up?
Dusty: Squeeze? What’s that?
Dick: Send teh runner from third and bunt the ball. Both St. Louis and San Fran have done it against us in the past week.
Dusty: THAT’S a squeeze? That’s illegal, isn’t it?
Watching these veterans, I learn everything I need to know about what it means to be a Cub.
What are the odds that I’ll get a should-be RBI infield single but will get thrown out anyway on account of being so damn slow?
Remember when andre dawson was being intentionally walked and he hit a pitch out for a homer?
…That was awesome.
It’s only the 6th inning, Cubs fans. We don’t start our really until the 8th now.
Halsey’s going right at Ram
According to me, all the pitches that E-Ramis is fouling off are in the middle of the plate, waste high.
“let’s eat the padres!” what the fuck am I talking about?
GAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
According to me, all of you are waste high
I was just involved in a conversation abut the drive-through liquor store in Sycamore, IL…just thought I’d share…
OK, Burny. It’s hero time again.
PINCH HIT WITH ME!
Is Ram ok?
I am awkward
I am what should be thrown BEFORE Ball Three to keep the pitch counts down. Why don’t they teach the Cub pitchers that?
Oops, I can’t read a lineup sheet. It’s hero time for Barrett…then Burny.
An annoying one of me is going on between Brenly, Grace, and Thom…ugh…
Bozos–
Hole in the Wall was the name of that place. When I took the back roads home (Plank Road, then Lake Street), I would swing through there for some road soadies.
Good times.
Just a second, Andy.
It nicked my jersey.
Dudes, i think i will try that squeeze play you were talking about not.
Keep your shoulder in there, Marty
Dudes, i think i will try that squeeze play you were talking about now.
Pathetic.
Ugh, we are really annoying.
Could I have taken a more awkward swing right there?
Am I ok?
When did I become a Diamondback?
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That would have been a granny for me, dudes!
Hell, Neifi and Jerry have hit ’em this year, it would only make sense for me to be next.
What would happen if the Cubs aquired all Cubs killers on their team. Tracy, Castilla, Reed Johnson, etc.
Would they dominate like they are supposed to and win the Cubs the WS, or would the Cub in them be too much and they would suck?
Oh wait, ask Gary Gaietti or Jeff Blauser
Marty Brenneman is reporting Dunn, Casey, and Soriano to the Mets????????????
was I signaled for?
Hey Mike…
The story revolved around the ’94 Opener…
We really don’t deserve to win this game. We are just awful.
Are you serious?
The Shitbirds are kicking around the idea of pissing me away right now.
I reported Soriano to the Mets. It almost happened today but it should end up happening some time this weekend.
Hold on, I’m gonna call my source in New York and see if it’s for real.
Thanks for taking me out Melvin, I’m having a bad day.
You’re getting pretty close to scoring there. Do you hear me?
I think I’m pinch running
Reported to be a rumor trade??? He mentioned it on the Red’s broadcast about five minutes ago. ?????????
Dunn and Casey are still in the game for Cincy, so…
Why would you take the white D.Lee out of the game? Ever?
Oh man…
kaboom
Should I have not done that?
What’d you do now, Will?
They couldn’t score one, now they’re supposed to score three/
Geez…with the wind blowing in?…Pat, I…geez….man oh man…
Never mind.
Meh, probably not.
I can’t believe Ohman gave up that home run. He looked so good the pitch before.
Don’t worry, Will, I’ll let you pitch to Glaus. What’s the worse that could happen?
Good thing we got Ohman in for another inning…
That’s what I am fuckers! You should have known better!
Or worst?
Heeeeere I come to save the day!
Oh man oh man oh man oh man….
With the price of gasoline as high as it is, you’d think we would try and, you know…pitch well. Whatever.
My double switchery worked out great. It’s not like I could have just had Gerut pinch hit for Ohman, this way I burned Murton and found a way to make their lead bigger. Genius!
See, we can’t spell either.
Dusty should of known not to use more thatn 2/3 of an inning
pitch now? uh..OK…whatever…
Fuck you Ohman!
Just a reminder, THIS OLD CUB will be playing this Saturday in an encore performance. THIS OLD CUB, a touching story of Ron Santo, the devoted Cub fan and former Cub player. You can by This Old Cub at http://www.thisoldcub.com. Ronnie, I just loved This Old Cub, that is why I mention it during every game.
What’s the number for 911?
I had to pitch the seventh or that move in the 6th wouldn’t have made sense. Now the game is really fucked, just like we planned it.
Wait a second! We have more than one lefty in our bullpen?! You mean Murton could have stayed in the game and we could have pinch hit for Ohman last inning?
Yeah…f- Dusty
Pat, what did Gonzalez do?
I’m only good if you bring me in at the start of the inning with no one on base.
Should we be surprised by this? The Cubs couldn’t beat the D-Backs last year when they lost 111 games. How are they supposed to deal with this year’s juggernaut of a team?
We both just batted for the Reds in the 5th, so apparently, the rumor’s a rumor… for now anyway.
Dunn or Casey sees another pitch and the whole deal is queered, got it?
Apparently I am gettin what I deserve. A 65-person, single-elimination tournament for the most annoying personality of mine. Click here for more!
…if my html didn’t work, just copy and paste this
http://www.bravesbeat.com/bravesjournal/bristol/
I’m pinch-hitting for Admiral Halsey.
Look at my Borchardesque numbers!
Hooray!
Are we coming out of the crowd and being directed at the American Girl Girls?
They have since revised the rumor and it is Casey and Soriano to the Mets for prospects to each of the other teams. They quoted Newsday. Again all rumors.
Why are there a dozen 12 year old girls in the TV booth? Did they get lost on their way to Grace?
This is why John McDonough should kicked in the nuts.
On John Donovan’s list of Buyers and Sellers, he says the Cubs should be a seller (not in the cellar, though they could be that soon too):
Chicago Cubs Why they should get out: Sure, they’re still within striking distance of the wild card. But look what they’re up against: too many injuries, including to pitcher Kerry Wood and shortstop Nomar Garciaparra, trouble in the outfield, no chance at the NL Central title, a good-but-not-great closer and too many teams fighting for that wild-card spot that are inherently better than they are. Make some trades now, before other teams, and the pickings could be better.
Who they should move: One-time center fielder Corey Patterson, relegated to the minors, might be trade bait. They have some middle relief.
I can’t type today. I loathe me.
Mister Usher? Can you please make that Sloth man go back to his seat? He’s bothering us!
Bruney’s going to fuck this up.
Suck on that, Barrett.
Cerebral Halsey, I wouldn’t be worried about Bruney, I’d be worried about the bullpen…and the defense.
I’m great to lead off an inning. Now, no bunting!
We’re better than Male Doges, dudes.
A big inning by the Cubs is me.
Corey Patterson’s tarde value right now is me.
Trading him now is just impulsive and spiteful. Wait until March.
I had another look, and I had a cup of tea, and a butter pie.
Butter pie?
The Cubs wouldn’t hit, so I put ’em in a pie.
I SAID NO BUNTING!
Ask and you shall recieve, bitches.
Jesus Christ Santo,
First of all you vomit over the play-by-play, and your primeval, retarded gurgling of “Yeaaah” gets everyone’s hopes up on the bunt attempt.
Shut up or die please. Or just step down from your degrading of baseball broadcasts.
…bottom of the 9th, down 1-0, leadoff double.
I think that’s about the right situation to be bunting here. Probably not when you’re down 3-0 in the 7th.
Looks like Dusty just found out who the next guy to get booed will be.
Hollandsworth.
The Cubs seem to hit well against bullpen pitchers. If only there was some way to get the starters out of the game earlier…
Uh….base on balls… uh… leadoff man gets on… you uh… dang!…momentum swings… swinging at the… uh…first pitch…oh man!…I got a fax here Pat…uh….Matt Moltz drinks a lot…oh yeah!!…oh wait…listen to these fans!…oh geez!
With each Hollandsworth at-bat, I’m feeling better and better about Dusty’s seeming braindead move from Tuesday when he used Gerut as a PH instead.
I think Patterson has some tarde value.
I’d like to step up and claim that Todd Hundley / Antonio Alfonseca / LaTroy Hawkins fan-favorite crown.
I am the GOLDEN GOD OF WALKS! Watch as Jerry homers me home to tie the game!
Why is it all the new guys want to walk?
I am just like the Cubs Offense ineptitude, but less annoying
“Hey Dusty, why would you have a guy sac bunt with no outs when you’re down by three in the 7th”
-Reporters after the game
It looked like I was bunting for a hit.
Back when I played, no one walked…Hank Aaron hit home runs, so we that’s what we all tried to do. Now people try to do too much.
It’s clogging up my basepaths.
I am when the Cubs REALLY shine anyway.
I’m about to give up a granny to Pujols.
420,
I got sick of out team being called a station to station team, and I heard everybody loving Ozzie for playing small ball. I know we cannot execute with timely hitting, so I decided to start go bunt happy over the last week
Neifi WAS bunting for a hit, although it was hard to tell because it seems a drunken rhinocerous broke into the booth and interrupted Andy Madur’s play-by-play with his bellowing.
We couldn’t get another hit off Worrell?
I am the motivation behind all of Dusty’s answers.
I am the motivation behind annoying commercials.
Ah, ok.
The perils of “watching” the game on MLB.com.
Boy Santo sure doesn’t believe much of what he sees.
“Unbelievable” is his #1 adjective. Even though he’s been around baseball for 5 decades, he is apparently still in awe of just about everything, as he finds himself not believing what he sees.
I’d like to eat the drunken rhino.
A. Pujols singled to catcher, M. Mahoney scored, D. Eckstein to third, A. Nunez to second
Believe me, Mike D. It’s unbelieveable. Believe me.
Phucking Phil Nevin is our catcher nowadays, that’s how.
Tim, don’t lick that Rhino!
Maybe the genius ran the squeeze with Pujols? I wouldn’t put it past him.
“We got an e-mail, asking about the difference between a suicide squeeze and a regular squeeze” and whoever doesn’t know what it is, is a fucking dumbass.
Have you seen my roids? If I had them, that ball was out.
I am MVP! Derrek Lee never singles to catcher for two RBI!
I’m not not licking rhinos
I had Tommy John Disease and so did Tony Womack, you think maybe we abused the same “stuff?”
I am tha fucking man!
I stopped licking Ryno’s a long time ago.
Hey, I’m your best lefty reliever now! Hah!
I pitched around Luis to get to Glaus. He’s such a good guy though i gave him an extra base.
So… we already talked about sandwiches… what should we talk about next inning while the Cubs go 1, 2, 3?
Wait, we had another lefty reliever down there? You mean I didn’t have to double switch back in the sixth?
f- Baker!
Why would Tim Worrel say that? That was me…
The long line of ex-Cub relievers to get pantsed this week, started with me.
I am the next Hector Luna
JEeeest a bit high!
It was my turn next.
Then mine.
GAS!
Gads! Do it big daddy!
and mine…
What? You didn’t think I was gonna keep it up all year? I’m not Pujols, I’m Derrek Lee.
Mercy!
Is this still batting practice?
Our we bad because we are made of a bunch of nobodies plus DLEE and ARAM or are we bad because of Dusty and Gene Clines telling us to swing at everything
But the buck stopped here bitches!
That was easy.
Shoot me now, Gracie and Breneman are shouting spanish nonsense.
Aren’t we supposed to be a good fastball hitting team?
Why am I not the closer?
Tim, what’s with you today?
They do that everytime that fat shithead pitches. It’s only a matter of time before he’s on the DL again.
It’s going to be me before it’s gets better.
Because, #466, I am a clone of Octavio Dotel, leave me where I am.
“El Toro” “Muy FUERTO” (?)
Name: Michael Wuertz
Position: Pitcher
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
Uniform #43
Hobbies: Fishing, hunting, walking lead off men and falling behind everyone.
Remember when I could sometimes get people out?
Tony F’n Clark.
I am not bilingual! Do not call me that! I had no idea “she” was a guy!
Seriously,
I’m not good. How many times do I start out 0-2 and then my sphincter tightens as I try to be cute and paint the corners? I have no balls and don’t be surprised when I’m optioned after Scott Williamson comes back.
Math lesson:
If you are batting .360 or .370 and you go 1-3, your average is going to do down.
Insightful.
Now explain the different squeezes again. I like the one with the ketchup bottle that makes the poop sound when it’s almost out of ketchup.
If I’m worse than Wuertz, I’ll eat your fucking hat.
Sean Green is a double and home run short of the cycle!
Actually, I’m not a Dotel clone. I’m the banana republic that was ruled by the bad guy in *Die Hard*.
EL BUNTO…Muy BUENOS!
Why are the Cubs not doing me?
.
Anybody see my brother Phil?
You better be saying Brooooo-ney or there’s a good chance he’ll never want to play in Chicago.
Check this out from the Daily Herald.
The New York Daily News and Newsday on Wednesday reported a possible three-way deal involving Texas, the Mets and Cincinnati that would see both Rangers second baseman Alfonso Soriano and Reds outfielder John Casey winding up in New York.
Outfielder? John? This has been up all day. They don’t even read their own web site.
http://www.dailyherald.com/sports/sportsstory.asp?id=77713
Pat Hughes just said that I have a “distinctive name”. Heh. It’s not half as distinctive as my brother Phil’s.
#1. Why is it that the biggest redundant douchebags feel a need to post 37 times a thread? Normally just posting the same thing over and over and probably laughing really loudly to themselves.
#2. Did anyone else see that fat old man playing with the doll? He was trying to put a cubs hat on it or something. I had the sound down and was half passed out on crack, the whole thing was quite disturbing, in fact I may have dreamt the whole scene.
Anybody seen my brother Quentin?
I was saying Broooo-ney
We are what the Cubs blow.
Hey buddies! You nee me, I’m a gladiator again and breaking HR recor every day.
Good luck in the wild car, buddies.
Wuertz was dangerously close to not giving up a run so he decided he’d better go to the wild pitch.
Wuertz starts out 0-2.
Then starts issuing balls.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Oh goodie, for good measure– a wild pitch. Thanks asswipe. Say hi to the Rally Carp.
Is it too late to turn me back into an infielder?
Let me get this straight, Dusty has no confidence in Matt Murton, but he has it in Mike Wuertz? What planet does this dumbass live on?
I stop dat one. I stop it good.
oh no! I heard boos! Lord knows the Cubs cannot handle these types of off-the-field distractions! The fans are holding them back from winning by booing! them against the world!
Um, #495, yes.
I have watched more BAD baseball this week than any ballpark should have to watch in a year.
Has anybody here… seen my old friend John?
Ey, number 488… you got prolem buddy? you nee help?
I hit HR for you… don’ worry.
Len says he has good news, because the Wild Card leaders have lost. Meaning the Cubs have now blown two chances in three days to gain ground. That’s great news.
I have more good news, I’m about to drill a hole in my forehead with an electric toothbrush.
I said Sosa’s slide into Barajas was due to his being treated badly in Chicago. Am I retarded. Yes, I am.
fuck it. it’s not like he’s going to walk 3 guys in one inning…um…oh wait…well, c’mon, he’s due for a strike…dudes…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Brooooooooooooney
Weurtz’s outing has been positively Farnsworthian.
Someone answer the question about the fat guy with the doll.
I have good news too.
I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!
We ought to be booing that degenertae fucktard Baker when he comes out to give Wuertz the hook. Then, when Wuertz leaves the mound, say nothing. But THEN, when the new reliever comes in and Baker walks back to the dugout we’ll begin booing lustily.
That way, there’ll be no mistaking WHO we’re booing. It ain’t the players. It’s the fraud that wears #12.
We can’t be this bad…can we?
good one mike! (509)
I told you in May that this team was dead.
Then crash your car all you want as you head westbound on 1-88 and then I-80.
Wuertz – 34 pitches, 17 strikes. Hey at .500, he’s as good as Murton!
The D-backs thought long and hard about the possibility of pissing me away and found the idea unappealing for several reasons. They’ve elected to go with a six-run lead and probably not manage to surrender a single run… unless that deal for Cliff Floyd comes through in the next… I don’t know, 3 minutes or so. Bye bitches.
I am Mike Wuertz’s ERA since June 17th (16 appearances)
Can someone explain to me why it seems like we’re not involved in the Danys Baez discussions?
This game is me.
Christ, man, the fans were begging for me.
fat guy
doll
So what was your favorite moment of the Michael Wuertz Era?
Mine was May. When he actually, you know, didn’t suck hippopotamus ass.
Why am I not pinch hitting now?
I can’t believe my fluke year is gonna go to a waste like this, well…maybe I can win the batting title.
Don’t worry Mike, Larry Rothschild will get Wuertz fixed right up.
Frankly, I’m happier that they’re getting blown out. I would have had a harder time sleeping if their bullpen kept the score 1-0 and that was the final tally.
Hey, I stuck with it and my ERA is down to 10.93.
Put that doll down THIS MINUTE!!!
STOP BOOING! STOP IT! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!
Hey, at least the good news is that the Cubs didn’t lose ground to those Wild Card leading Nationals! Even though the Astros can take over the Wild Card lead tonight meaning the Cubs will have lost ground.
Hey, muchas gracias, Chicago. You helped me get my ERA under 11!
Seriously, this sucks. If this team could just play even okay, against shitty teams like these, I would have won a gold glove, and if I kept this pace up,possibly the triple crown and mvp. WIth this team, I have no chance. Watch, Helton, Johnson or Pooholes wins the gold glove, and…aw fuck it…Korey and Neifi hitting in front of me?…were you kidding Dusty?
Stop using me, Andy.
The fans have gotten wise. Now, the only people who dish out that propoganda are the team, the PR Dept., and Mike Kiley.
I always thought there was one per position.
You fans keep booing, we are gonna keep losing.Whah….Sob…Whah……
Speaking of propoganda,
I can’t WAIT to hear Fanboy Kaplan defend THIS shit.
Well, you know, we coulda won today, but we were sad on account of yall was booing us. If you want us to win, we need to hear happy cheers, and whistlin’ and perhaps some song thrown in for the vibe. We need happiness.
That would mean one of those guys.
I obviously can’t read.
Halsey 1, Palsy 0
This is like losing that first game to Colorado the Thursday before Memorial Day Weekend, when the NL walks leader threwlike 45 pitches thru 8 innings.
But things began looking up. The next day, Mark Prior went out and…
oops. Never mind.
Unbelievable!
I am the number of runs the Cubs have scored–combined–in the first seven innings of every game on this homestand.
dudes, this is what you get for doubting me dudes. No way we can win with you guys pressuring me like this dudes. Are you major league skippers dudes? no. That’s what I tought dudes.
dudes, what am I talking about dudes? your fixaton with aramis following lee in the lineup dudes. Second time I’ve done it dudes, all because of your pressure dudes and second time we loose with it dudes.
We need burnitz batting 4th dudes, the rigthy-lefty-righty lineup dudes that has given us a bunch of wins dudes but no you want it your way dudes. Well this is not burger ling dudes. last time I follow your advice dudes. Let me do it my way dudes. I won a WS as a player dudes and went to one as a manager dudes so shut up dudes.
Hey 542, it’s not a good park for hitters, dumbass.
home of karry Ling
Worst.Post.Ever.
Andy, I made a mistake and thought it was a night game. I realize my mistake now. As soon as I saw the final score, I realized my mistake. Can I edit this to include some of my comments and my suggestions for the team I would have made? The suggestions I have would be to try and help the team win more games.
Please do not upgrade this offense. It’s just too powerful as is!
Just to clarify my previous post, my suggestions for the team would be aimed at winning more baseball games. That is all…
Oh don’t worry, I won’t. I will give Dusty an extension though. He’s our guy!
What?!! The trade deadline is this Sunday? Oh shit! I didnt even think about that!
Frankly, I need to be more concerned with our bullpen than our offense.
I’m the one that needs to be more concerned about out bullpen. Why deal for an arm, Jim? I’ll just fuck him up.
My sources in the boston area are telling me something’s about to happen between old trade deadline pals, the cubs and the bosox. the bosox are sending manny ramirez to the cubs for sergio mitre, glendon rusch, corey patterson and todd hollandsworth. Also the bosox agree to pay 50% of manny’s contract (57 mill for 3 years). That gives the cubs a Lf for 3 years at 9.5 mill per year.
The bosox are loking for middle relief and are thin in OF, that’s why this trade will happen. They don’t want to send Millar to the OF again.
That’s all we need, 2 lazy, eccentric Ramirez’s.
Oh…OMG!!!…I already have my Manny jersey ordered. Kudos to that great Cub front office!
Only the Royals and Devil Rays bullpens have walked more guys than us. That’s good company to be in right???
Only thing holding the deal is that the cubs want to include Remlinger instead of Mitre or rusch. But it’s Mitre the one they want to keep the most. Look for this to go down saturday night or early sunday.
That would be a terrible trade for Boston.
I’d like duck into the scoreboard at Wrigley and take a dump.
Can we trade someone else instead of me? I’m possibly the most versitile member of the Cubs pitching staff…
Look, obviosly the guy(s) posting as Sanjay are not me…but I have spoken to a front office source who has confirmed that talks with the BoSox for Manny began the second it got out that he wanted a trade(again). This time
My post got cut off. Here’s the gist Rich Hill, Mitre, Patterson have all been thrown into the mix, Hendry is making a SERIOUS push for Manny. Expect a blockbuster sometime on saturday. The Yankees have thrown their name into the hat, but while they can take on the salary, they don’t have the prospects. The guy up there wasn’t that far off, even if he was joking. Just setting the record straight here.
Possible 3rd team might get involved, I have no idea who. Now when this trade comes through, you guys here can stop ripping on me, I don’t find it that funny, only reason I’m posting here…you really should make it so you can update your former posts too. Suffice it to say, Manny Ramirez, and an arm for the bullpen(from the 3rd team?) will arrive on Saturday. Manny is all for getting out of Boston, this last intrusion was the last straw.
Hoops, WOO Hoops WOOO
Id like to WOOO Hit you in the face WOOO WOOO With a folding chair WOOO WOOO WOOO and then WOOO WOOO WOOO take a dump WOO on your chest WOO WOO WOO
All the NSBB tards have my jersey on order.
Three way trade:
Red Sox send Manny Ramirez to Cubs
Cubs send Corey Patterson to Red Sox
Circle K send beef jerky to everyone!
circle woo jerk wooo for wooo everyone wooo!
I am Hoops’ front office source. And that top looks darling on you!
Not. You skank! Where’s Kumstein when you need him?
I can’t wait to play for the Cubs with my buddy Enrique Wilson!
What, you cut him?
Uh…I think I have a cold. I’ll need a few dozen days off.
I’m giving you guys a gift here, I’m not even a site member. This is the first and possibly last time, I have heard of a guaranteed move. Everything is being done to make it happen, I usually don’t post here, and if you scroll up you can see why. Remember who broke this one…I have never guaranteed one before, but this one seems ironclad. I don’t know the particulars, but something will be done.
Doesn’t NSBB still want my extremely high OBP? They splooge themselves all the time just thinking about it.
Go back and fix the Slurpee machine…no weezing the juice.
Go back and fix the Slurpee machine…no weezing the juice.
SAMMY RULES! SO DOES HOOPS! YALL JUST JELAOUS/UNPRECIARTIVE
Hey, at least you don’t have to listen to Gracie’s drivel every night…Personally, after his idiotic comments last weekend about “The Padres are so close we can taste them! LET’S EAT!”, I’d like your advice on whether I should order the Ryan Klesko Burger or the Brian Giles Steak, or maybe the Trevor Hoffman Spareribs? I especially like the one line about “I fart in Gracie’s general direction”… Actually, Thom Brennaman used to be a fine announcer, but Gracie inevitably sinks anybody he’s in the booth with to his level. Oh, and, lest you trash Tony Clark, don’t forget that he’s, as Gracie put it earlier this year, “hitting like a dog in heat”…
Anyone else having trouble getting into northsidebaseball.com…I’m trying to post it there, maybe they will take it seriously, unlike some of you.
Think this Hoops asshole is serious, he probably saw how badly he gets ripped here and wants to stick it to us, or something like that. Screw him, how often is his 7-11 working ass right anyway? Never, we’ll know if this shit is for real if he e-mails the Roz with him.
Hoops we’ve outsourced your posting job…to India
Oh my. Can’t we all just get along?
The site is fine and you’re not really Hoops.
The above bullshit trade rumors would cost 50 dollars at me…boy, I stink on ice.
dude, that’s just like my man Hendry, guaranteeing a trade will happen on a certain day. I guess he needs the next two days off to talk the Cubs front office into taking on another no-field outfielder with an attitude who makes $20 mil a year.
And did I mention I suck?
Hoops didn’t post this at NSBB because he’s afraid he’d be banned, like that guy a couple of weeks ago.
Don’t under-estimate my tarde value.
…actually posted that the Desipio forum doesn’t seem to bring much to the table.
With posters like ZZ Thorn, JC, Goony’s Evil Twin, and some of the others, NSBB shouldn’t throw rocks at glass houses
Number 598, actually, Vance is my favorite. Doesn’t that dude have a job?
I’m dyslexic. No. 589. Duh.
Post the link so I can see for myself, and then I can register there, fuck with them and proceed to get banned. NSBB…fuckers.
Nah, leave them alone. I kind of like that comment about our “board” bringing nothing to the table. That’s what it was designed to do. It actually takes things off the table.
They’ve banned me at least 13 times since their creation. I can’t help but hate them.
Corny elitist numbers homos.
“Nah leave them alone” Um, a little too late for that request.
I don’t want anybody going over there in the name of Desipio to get banned.
From NSBB: (paraphrased) Does anyone get the feeling the guys at Desipio are all guys that got banned from nsbb?
From me: Does anyone get the feeling that the wieners at NSBB are the type of guys that ban people from websites. I imagine a bunch of Millhouses and Martins sitting around lording over their little piece of the internet.
It’s beneath the most upstanding Desipiot to go over to NSBB and act like a tool.
Let it go for Christ’s sake or at least follow Andy’s advice–don’t do it in Desipio’s name, do it for your own lack of worth.
I had never heardof NSBB until someone at Desipio linked there about a year ago.
I waste enough time at the Desipio messageboard. I don’t need to go to another universe and waste MORE time.
That being said, we’re starting to embarasss ourselves. The Kwik-E-Mart jokes were clever back when they were used sparingly. Now they’re just redundant and racist. Far be it for me to be the PC police, but the knee-jerk slams about Sanjay’s ethnicity have just grown absurd.
We’ve prided ourselves here in our airy, take-things-lightly approach that at least attempt to offset, somewhat, our obsessive Cub fanaticism. Going over there to start a flame war turns us into a mockery of ourselves.
Let’s get back to what we’re good at–being dopes.
get better with age
reminds me a lot about the “WCW vs NWO” feud.
Besides, Useless, I don’t think NSBB is that bad a site.
“the only site you’ll ever need”…and that’s not sad, actually that’s VERY GOOD.
Sanjay H is a lot of things, and the best GM not working in baseball today is NOT one of them. But the Kwik-E Marts are not only tiresome and racist, but how does he deserve our scorn? Because Barry Rozner thinks some of the dumber trades he proposes are brilliant? Sanjay H might not be a threat to replace Jim Hendry, but he hasn’t exactly behaved like the unfunny, insecure lunatic Alex Kaseberg.
Desipiots are desperately fighting the urge to go to NSBB and piss me away. Remember that going there and shitting on them will only bring them here in droves to run their stupid smack. That can’t be good.
And all racist jokes reflect poorly on the Web site that allows them. If there were ever a reason to get banned from anything. That would be it. So far I know of Andy banning nobody so let’s not force him to defend himself for that.
I am the best way to run this site. Unfortunately, with this site’s popularity, it’s gotten harder.
Andy prides himself on being laisseiz-faire and it generally works well. I don’t think anybody wants him to be Big Brother, least of all him.
We can still be rude and crude here–that’s why even the more enlightened, intelligent people come around– but let’s try to at least maintain some semblance of civility.
Mike D, thanks so much for taking a quick time-out from me — your staple insult and the site’s — to climb onto the soapbox and tell everyone that their bigotry is embarrassing to you. Bravo.
I’m a homophobe?
What are you talking about, you faggot?
I got it…I’ll go premium, 50 bucks a head…now get me Hoops.