Pitching matchup
Cubs: Mark Prior, 7-3, 3.26 ERA
Phillies: Brett Myers, 9-5, 3.21 ERA
Lineups
Cubs
Matt Lawton, lf
Todd Walker, 2b
MVLee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b (E-ramis batting clean up? Will wonders never cease?)
Jeromy, rf
Neifi!, ss (Sixth? Woof.)
Jose Macias, cf (Because it would have killed Dusty to have played Murton today.)
Hank White, c
The Franchise, p
Phillies
Jimmy Rollins, ss
Jason Michaels, cf
Chase Utley, 2b
Bobby Abreu, rf
Pat “I’ll swing at anything, and I’ve seen Heather Mitts naked” Burrell, lf
Ryan Howard, 1b
David Bell, 3b
Todd Pratt (you have got to be shitting me? He’s still in the league?), c
Brett Myers, p
Hey, they’re not gonna pitch around me to get to Neifi are they?
I’d have the Franchise hitting 6th
Would anyone object to just putting those names in a hat and drawing them one by one and making that the actual batting order?
Macias, Prior, Blanco, Neifi…
Blanco, Neifi, Prior, Macias…
Prior, Macias, Neifi, Blanco…
That’s what I did, dude
will Dusty double switch to get Hollandsworth in the game in Macias’ spot?
I say the 7th.
Fuck you Dusty.
You gotta play the guy that is hitting .287 versus the guy that is hitting .429, especially if it’s a day game.
On this hot Veteran’s Stadium turf, Murton would just melt out there.
Hey Matt, my pinch hit last night just bought you a ticket to Des Moines.
Da Gremm-Linn!
Fly ball over the head of Jose “can you Ma-see-us making the playoffs” No!!
How will they not score this time?
Haven’t seen a line drive, DP in awhile.
Santo dreamed about last nights game. Guy needs to up his fantasies.
“You disgust me”
“Again”
This team has never met me.
What’s the over under on how many days it takes me to lose the avg. lead. I have 8.
I think I’m worn out?
That, or I’m going back to normal.
I have to hit home runs!!
Did Bob Brenly just call me Huckleberry?
I’m your Huckleberry.
Swing early and often, Dudes. Thats our gameplan for today.
I shall stop the bleeding with my schweety palms
Will I be today’s Cub killer?
If anyone would like to die, take a drink whenever Prior handles the rosen.
I’m booked in October dudes..I have a hunting trip planned with Darren.
Too bad this isn’t a simulated game, I think I could get out of this
2 batters to hits..I’m on my A game today..
Must be our fault
Woops bases loaded..Hell of a situation we have here..
…the way this team bounces back so quickly from last night’s crushing defeat.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
WGN-AM is having technical difficulties.
And I’m grateful for it.
I’m so overhyped.
WGN is experiencing technical diffculties.
The transmitter is powered by Prior’s fastball.
Da Frann-Chize!
How many people did not see that coming??
Right when Len said, “up comes the struggling Abreu” it was destined to be 4 runs.
Oh, the cheering woke me up. What happened?
I am the problem with Mark Prior.
Zzzz.zzz….what….zzzzz….zzzz…z..zz.z.z…z.zzzzz….
WHAT’S GOING ON?!?!?!? NO MORE RADIO!!!
…4 runs. That’s what’s going on.
I really wish WGN-AM continued to have techincal difficulties. I didn’t need to hear that.
I happened. Back to work, you!
Maybe the team will tank the rest of the season to get Dusty fired…
5 batters, 3 hits, 2 walks. 4 runs.
Do you know SERGIO?
20 pitches….8 strikes
Viva la Mexico!
I’ll say this for the Phillies, they are efficient.
Prior is having his me.
Boy, it’s hot.
Shouldn’t a had that 2nd cheesesteak this morning………
Thanks to Prior, we’re plumb fucked too.
See, I told you white guys can’t handle the heat.
Yahoo!’s Gamechannel has Burnitz, undefined and undefined due up in the 2nd.
An out! Sweet, my line score won’t say 0.0 inn pitched!
That would be OK, right?
Best pitcher any of you twerps has ever seen.
At this point, your fantasy team is all you have to look forward to.
Luckily we’ve got a lot of firepower in our lineup today.
Would it be unprecedented for Wood, Garciaparra and Williamson to refuse their callups?
am i pitching today? maybe marky-mark took some advice from me for once.
40 pitch inning? I’m just showing Woody I didn’t forget him while he was away
Prior needed 40 more of me…
The So. Cal. version of you is pitching. He poops his pants, but looks stylish as hell doing it.
Those first four batters don’t count, right?
I’m tired of dees sheet. I have to bail heem out with grand slam again!
you can’t blame me for that inning, mang! i threaten to keeel prior if he sucks mang.
Those stupid Phillies, now they’ve got to lead off the 2nd inning with their pitcher!
Does it just take Prior longer to get warmed up?
Apparently, I have a twin disguised as a Dose.
I’m on pace to strike out 27 on just under 300 pitches
Hey Mark, it may have taken me a little longer, but I am clealy better than you now. Eat it surfer dude.
Sorry folks, I get way too excited when a “deep” fly ball is hit.
Screw Bobby Murcer. The 2005 Cubs are the Kings of me.
Remember me female doges?
Philadelphia Phillies 4, Chicago Cubs 2
DayGame Played on Wednesday, July 24, 2002 (D) at Wrigley Field
PHI N 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 2 0 – 4 6 0
CHI N 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 – 2 5 0
BATTINGPhiladelphia Phillies AB R H RBI BB SO PO A
Glanville cf 5 0 1 0 0 0 2 0
Rollins ss 3 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
Abreu rf 2 1 0 0 2 2 1 0
Burrell lf 3 1 0 0 1 2 5 0
Lee 1b 3 0 1 2 0 0 11 0
Rolen 3b 3 0 0 0 1 1 0 2
Lieberthal c 3 0 2 1 1 1 6 0
Anderson 2b 4 1 2 1 0 0 0 3
Myers p 3 0 0 0 0 3 0 2
Giambi ph 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0
Mesa p 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 30 4 6 4 7 10 27 10
BATTING –
2B: Lieberthal (21,off Prior).
HR: Anderson (6,7th inning off Prior 0 on, 1 out).
SF: Lee (2,off Prior).
Team LOB: 7.
BASERUNNING –
SB: Rollins (18,3rd base off Prior/Hundley); Abreu (19,2nd base off Prior/Hundley);
Glanville (9,2nd base off Prior/Hundley).
Chicago Cubs AB R H RBI BB SO PO A
Bellhorn 2b 4 1 1 1 0 0 1 0
Mueller 3b 3 0 0 0 1 0 1 2
Sosa rf 4 1 1 1 0 0 4 0
McGriff 1b 4 0 1 0 0 0 4 0
Alou lf 4 0 1 0 0 1 1 1
DeShields pr 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Patterson cf 4 0 0 0 0 1 5 0
Hundley c 3 0 1 0 0 1 11 0
Gonzalez ss 3 0 0 0 0 2 0 2
Prior p 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 0
Gordon p 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Fassero p 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Stynes ph 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Alfonseca p 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 32 2 5 2 1 6 27 5
FIELDING –
DP: 1.
BATTING –
2B: Hundley (5,off Myers).
HR: Bellhorn (14,3rd inning off Myers 0 on, 2 out); Sosa (31,9th inning off
Mesa 0 on, 2 out).
Team LOB: 4.
PITCHINGPhiladelphia Phillies IP H R ER BB SO HR
Myers W(1-0) 8 2 1 1 1 5 1
Mesa SV(27) 1 3 1 1 0 1 1
Totals 9 5 2 2 1 6 2
Chicago Cubs IP H R ER BB SO HR
Prior L(4-3) 7 4 2 2 5 8 1
Gordon 0.1 2 2 2 2 1 0
Fassero 0.2 0 0 0 0 0 0
Alfonseca 1 0 0 0 0 1 0
Totals 9 6 4 4 7 10 1
Umpires: Marvin Hudson, Mike Vanvleet, Dana DeMuth, Kerwin Danley
Time of Game: 2:29 Attendance: 32697
behold the greatness of me, bitches!
Okay, if you’re going to keep making the female dogs joke, why don’t you at least learn how to spell “dogs”, you moran?
Well my wife is from Philly, maybe I should raise my son as a Phillys (ph)fan.
Shall I cut the lead in half?
I’ll take 1/4 at this point, Hank.
i am the most feeered hitter in the leeeg, mang!
I must be an idiot, maybe I should go write bitches on the moranboard.
Fear me!
I walk instead, mang. Let Mark hep hemsef
Allow 6-8 weeks for us to cut the wildcard deficit in half.
hank! i see yoo tonite at de speeling be, mang!
I feel so all alone.
#82 – like it’s my fault your mom dropped you on your head.
Me, not so alone
Do I think I’m funny? Annoying? Yes. Stupid? Sure. Funny? No.
sorry honey!
If you read me, you’d know if Murton was ever going to play again:
Baker said left-handed hitter Matt Lawton will start Friday against Mets lefty Tom Glavine, who gives up a lot of hits to left-handed hitters. But rookie Matt Murton will get the start in left field Saturday against lefty Kazuhisa Ishii.
“Murton is going to play against some left-handers,” Baker said.
Some Desipiots are me today. Must be the heat.
Recognize, FEMALE DOGES.
web gem bitches!
XM has the Phillies radio feed and I was listening to that in the first inning, when Abreu hit his grand slam, Larry Andersen said, “I thought Macias was going to catch that.” Then he watched the replay and said, “Oh, first he struggled with his glasses, then he hit his shoulder on the wall as he was trying to leap. I’m pretty sure a real outfielder would have caught that.”
A “real” outfielder. Man, even when guys aren’t intentionally trying to rip the Cubs, they rip the Cubs.
There’s a problem with that, Mike Kiley. The Mets are likely to bring up righty Jae Seo to take Ishii’s spot, meaning Dusty will have an excuse to never start Murton again.
Looks like Prior will have us to go along with his fourth loss.
Looks like I’m not out of the question either.
I deserve all the crap I get for that “best pitcher we’ve ever seen” crack. In fact, I was on crack when I made the crack.
Yes, yes, no, yes.
Those are the three outcomes that occur when you face Mark Prior.
I’m the Matt Murton of the Phillies. I have a BA over .300 and an OBA of over .400 and I hardly ever get to play. All Charlie Manuel needs is a toothpick.
Andy, Chuck, Sloth, Mike D., Dave B….
Welcome to the club, CT. You don’t really belong until you have some deranged retard who, for some inexplicable reason, has a bee in his (or her) bonnet about you.
Whoo!
I’m not even close to being the best pitcher in our division.
MQArk,
You’re not even the best pitcher on the field.
Does that mean I belong? Doubt it.
Sweet, sweet pudding, you’d never disagree with me. Now get in my belly.
But I’ve thrown the most pitches!
Forgot that Apex has a stalker too.
why more This Old Cub hocking? Why? WHY?
we are currently accepting applications.
CT didn’t just get ripped for his female doges comment or anything, chill out you fuckers, nobody wants to “stalk” a couple of fat retards who say dumb stuff on a Cubs site.
dudes, you’re all negative dudes. I guarantee a win today dudes.
We already saw his stuff, second time around we’ll get him dudes
chill dudes chill…get out of the heat dudes
Hey Derrek, we’ll be there shortly, start your slide toward being average now please.
Am I too late for Dusty to get shitcanned?
I like Philleeee, they have DSL in the dugout.
You guys are too tough on Mark today, mang. He’s not bred for the heat. Now if this game were played in Saskatchewan, it’d be 0-0 still.
Oh, who am I kidding. What kind of pansy lets a little sweat throw him off his game? I lost my big toe against the Red Sox and I don’t even miss it!
Hey I’m not a retard!
Final avg. set at .310, I’ve got slightly over.
I have an announcement to make! Will all of the guys flying to New York after today’s game step forward? That’s right, Nomar, Scott, Kerry… Oh Dusty? Not so fast.
I posted the boxscore and received the response from CT. I actually saw that he wrote the word “moran” in the post and assumed the female doges chide was sarcasm. Somewhere along the line somebody got all mixed up and panicked and started firing off ill conceived rejoinders. I think it’s Michael Berut who has the hero worshipper in here.
I was driving on I-80 east of Iowa City toward the Quad Cities yesterday afternoon, tooling along around 75 mph when a car pulled up beside me in the left lane. The driver was male, late-50s, early 60s and his wife was in the passenger seat. He began gesturing at me, so I just looked at him like “What the f— is your problem”? He sped ahead and I noticed he had Illinois plates. The guy behind him also had Illinois plates and he gave me a thumbs-up. A few miles down the road, I passed the first car and the old guy held up a pair of white socks and his wife had a White Sox towel. I just shook my head and pulled off my black sock to remind him of his favorite team’s shining moment in history.
Yes, you are. Dusty will not get shitcanned, as long as him and his pussy ass excuse for a team keep making excuses for their “play”.
Andy:
Don’t forget, you also called Kerry Wood a top 5 pitcher in the NL as recently as last year.
Now, where’s my salad tongs?
Hmm. Not as exciting as the old “Show us your tits!” routine but if it works for you Dave…
“Shudder”
today I suggest you try a little bit of mango with your salad, trust me, it looks lovely and tastes great.
Now you’re talking.
i have two first names! woooooooooo!
Hey:
I’m not fat! I was, but Dear Dr. Atkins and his Bankrupt Company cut 30 pounds off this frame.
There were some beautiful tits at the Cell during the last Cubs series and not all of them were under Cubs shirts. Most of them, though.
Mrs. Damon’s tits talk? I’d buy that for a dollar!
White Sox fans’ tits resemble me.
My stalker’s dumber than your stalker!!! HAHA!!
Chuck, everyone just assumes you’re fat because you can’t help yourself.
dudes we are about to explode offensively dudes I CAN FEEL IT dudes
this game is ours, you all will be crying afterwards dudes
Seriously, is there anything better than us? Screw the Cubs, they are done, leat’s see some shots of a few nice sets of Philly yabohs.
I used to check in at 265 lbs.
Now I weigh in at 220. So I’m still sort of fat.
But I’m not a retard, dammit.
GO YANKEES!!
long beautiful 70s hair……why am i talking and how do i have this job?
Yeah, what Mike D. said
We can make up for a lot of imperfections, we can.
200 down to 169 at my low. 174 this AM. And my HDL is 171,
Bleah!
Shit. And I’m closing in on 40.
dudes here we come dudes the game that turned the season around dudes
6-foot, 185.
DING!
who wants painted nails attached to a killer ass?
What is sexier than us on a chick with high heels on a spring day.
Standing 2 baggers are back.
I do, that’s who!
Gotta agree with #148
how do we strand the double THIS inning?
I like men.
As long as we’re sharing: I’m at 170, down from my all time high of 185, which I got to after my thyroid gland stopped working. If you want to lose wait, I suggest and illegal perscription for Synthroid.
Or you could lose weight.
So do I.
Got to bail Mark out again mang!
Synthroid! That’s it! That’s what I was taking!
That’s it, Neifi is going to be our center fielder for the rest of the season.
I am good for losing weight.
Jose Macias is me.
I am the best way to burn calories.
And I’ll still make trips to the mound every six pitches
Re: 160
That’s how I dropped my 40. Never changed my diet; I still eat what i want, I just started running my fat ass off.
dudes, told you dudes, this game is ours dudes
The only imperfection we could possibly make up for is gangrene.
Hillary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice are me.
I’m fun.
That’s how you do it, Michael Barrett.
suck eet brett i cut the leed in haf
Mike:
I wish you luck excercizing when the wife starts popping out rugrats. My time frees up at 9:15.
Well, not when I’m at the office fucking around like this.
Someone mix me into Barett’s gatoraide please.
Sexy? or Slutty?
actually hank you cut off a third, but it was a BIG third.
Keeps our mind off the game. Although, it seems while wer’e spending the afternoon talking baout stalkers, weight loss and toe rings, the Cubs are crawling back into the game.
Who knew?
I suggest we continue the light-hearted banter. Something tells me when we start paying to the game is when they’ll start giving back the runs they’ve just earned.
Both?
Yay Hank! Yay Neifi! Yay Gremlin!
The Cubs are right back in me!
dudes i’m bunting with prior dudes and let lawton tie it up with a base hit dudes
Anyone? Thoughts?
Chuck–
First one’s due Feb. 14th.
And it wasn’t “planned”.
D’OH!
i dont do math mang
Why are you bunting?
Overdone and usually unattractive
Good to see us carrying the Cubs’ offense
Not sexy, not slutty.
Just seen too often stick out of rolls of fat.
175 was absolutely right.
dudes i told you dudes, we’re gonna win it dudes
I hope whoever keeps attaching me to Dusty’s quotes dies a terrible death. I fucking mean it, too.
that was quick
I hate to break up this little love-in.
My girl has one. She’s hot but I’d rather she didn’t have it. Reminds me it’s her when I’m trying to picture another chick while doing her from behind. So I put my hand over it sometimes.
I usually accompany those little ankle tatoos also.
playing in phillys ballpark is better then taking steroids mannnnn
Just move in with some hussy, 191, she’ll get the message.
Mike D, sleep now, while you still can.
I’m not coming back, bitches!
Lower back tatoos are trashy. I think they’re out, now.
#188 dude, chill, dude… get out of the heat, dude
Sexy? Or hot?
I should be Mr. Microphone’s middle name.
I’m working on a delicious combination of raspberry, mango and papaya. This salad looks lovely!!
I do have a nice ring to me
Sexy mang. Definitely sexy!
FEAR ME
O/U Cubs runs next inning: 1.5
Post #191.
Goddamn hilarious.
I have turned into a religious show.
I can have a certain voluptuous charm.
I am hot, especially when I accompany the skirt and dress top. Oh yeah, high heels too. Shit, I gotta go look at some porn now.
We are just as bad as the “more refreshing than….” ads.
Michael:
Mazel tov!
So long, boys! See ya in the funny papers!
Is 3rd in the NL Central sexy or not? How about 4th?
It would be for us.
Third in the NL-C is sexy to my wallet.
i’m getting tired out here.
Could I be any slower?
Man am I slow
Thanks, Chuck.
And holy crap. It’s 5-4?
See my glacier-like speed?
I’ll take the over
It really wasn’t fair of Jimmy Rollins to put me atop second base when Ramirez hit the ball.
what happened??
I’ve never seen anything like that in MLB. Softball yes, MLB no.
You guys come back and win me … you’ll be TWO GAMES over .500! Get excited!
dudes, told you, this game is ours dudes
in dusty you trusty and there’s no problem dudes!
See, I have been hiding my bunt action the entire season.
I once did that against the Cubs, when I was with the brewers.
I do it all! gimme back my ! bitches.
Anyone up in me?
223 – I squared to bunt, then slap bunted the ball past the 3b for a hit.
So let’s starting taking bets on what new, creative way we’ll lose the game today. How about forgetting to touch home plate on a ninth-inning home run?
I did that, as well as the run and slap thing, all the time when I was with the Twinkees. I am terrible though.
Hey Mike, boy, girl or surprise?
I might want to think about developing a new pitch. You know, one that can get guys out consistently.
How about just giving up taters
Bye Baltimore.
At least we’ll fire our shitty manager.
I am a fraud.
Me too.
What the hell’s the deal now? Sore elbow? Or sore neck from watching those bombs fly out of the yard?
CT–
Dunno. All i know is, as of 4 Saturday’s game, that I was the proud father of a 2 cm zygot.
Going deep into ballgames since 2005…oh wait…
Ahem. Make that “4 Saturday’s ago”
You can see where my head is at.
Millpool.
Yeah, well, I’m no better, maybe if I could count backwards from February, I’d have realized it’s way too early to tell.
That’s right money, money’s what’s money, money.
I am the proper name for a lower-back tattoo.
If the tattoo involves a spread-out tribal design, “fart wings” is an acceptable alternative to me.
… so you can close the book on Prior
*SLAM*
Brenly to Baltimore
…to the due date. It’s easier than counting backwards by 9 months.
A source has told me that Mazzilli is gonna be ousted from Baltimore real soon.
Hoops
Belly rings – slutty.
Tounge rings – mega slutty
lower back ink – I dig it.
The Cubs – slutty, skanky
What happened to me?
Dammit, why didn’t I double switch and put Hollandsworth in?
Dude?
Mark, you stunk.
I am terrible, even on semi-punk chicks.
Hi. Why am I batting?
I see Mike has discovered the coolness that is pregnancycalenday.com
Only because I wasn’t facing a Reds team full of september call ups.
I look good on relief pitchers
Mike, you’re batting because I started my best pinch hitter-Macias. I don’t have anyone left!
Naw, I’ve figured that one out before, although I AM digging the site you gave me.
I’m doing all I can to not pay attention the Scrubs game. When I’m paying attention, Philly homers.
It sure was nice of Dusty to give me a farewell stint on my last day in the majors.
could i have made that look any more disgusting
I can play as long as it doesn’t rain.
Hey Mike, come on down to Tampa Bay!
You get to pitch indoors and no one boos you!
It’s the greatest!
Olsen twins — has-beens
junior-high sock hop — slut-o-rific!
American Girl Store — happy hunting!
The Cubs — whut?
I will not rest until my era hits 4.00.
I am when the Cubs stage their season-turning rally.
This is some awesome skunk bud, BTW.
Time for a rally, boys! Pat’s leaving some wolf bait in Stall #3.
I forgot to tell you why I’m so slow..I made a bet with Santo. I lost the bet so you know what I lost. We’ll just say Santo and I are twins in a certain way..
Dammit Utley, you’re supposed to UNDERHAND those throws from second!
Expressing shock at Lee Mazzili’s firing, Santo said “How can you blame the manager when the players are not playing up to their potential”
That line of thinking is what he repeats to himself, over and over again, when he does the “Dusty Bake Pregame Softball Interview Show” every day.
Where am I?? Someone was supposed to wake me up 2 weeks ago..
Did Prior leave because he was hurt, or because he was getting SHELLED?
And I’m bidding on Lee Mazzilli’s sunglasses as soon as they hit eBay.
Mazzilli was the manager for what– less than two years?
Rough crowd. Dusty should be counting his blessings. And Llllllllloyd McClendon? He probably thinks he’s invincible now.
I threw my 101 pitches. I got my 13 outs.
The best Dusty Baker show was just last week when Ron asked Dusty what the lineup was, Dusty couldn’t remember and I still signed off with, “Sounds like a winner. Go get ’em big boy.”
I’m a dope. A lovable old dope, but a dope all the same.
I heard Jim Palmer being interviewed on Monday after the Palmeiro piss test and the interviewer, Phil Wood (who is the most boring man alive) asked him about their lineup for next year and Palmer said, “Well, the outfield’s wide open. There’s no way in hell they’ll put up with Sosa again…”
I don’t know which was said with more disdain the “no way in hell” or the “put up with”? If venom made a sound that’s all you would have heard.
My favorite Santo moment for this week was after Beer Nutz got picked off first with his meaningless run. Santo let out a moan that sounded like a beluga whale in labor. And then immediately afterward, ARam got the 2-RBI single. It was nice because, for once, I got to hear the play-by-play unmolested with Santo’s bellowing–he was still so upset over the baserunning gaffe that he didn’t have a chance to bellow like Kody Clemens’ on ARam’s hit.
Happy now Baltimore?
Now you can get a white guy to manage the team!
gotta use up Wuertz so he can sleep well on the bus to des moines tonight. just lookin out for the youngsters, ya know?
Ooh, my boyfriend is pitching!
Should I talk about how smart he is for ten minutes or how funny he can be? Maybe I should just talk about his baby blue eyes!
A decent fight is the only chance this team has of entertaining anyone for the duration.
Boys, it could be my last day in the Majors. I’m going til my arm falls off.
I hear Sosa put his boom box in Mazzili’s office.
Ohman’s 45? They didn’t retire it for me? Bastards.
Well if that was my last outing for a while, at least it was a good one.
“And I’m closing in on 40.”
Dudes, I gotta get all my pitchers work! Why do you think we carry 12? I gotta keep the left-right matchups working!
The word of the day is ejaculate…as in what Will did on my pillow this morning.
“Loogy” is Estonian for “cuddle toy”!
“a moan that sounded like a beluga whale in labor.”
Advice: Don’t say that phrase next February.
What the hell, Len?
“And I’m closing in on a 40.”
There’s that infernal hit-and-run again. See what happens when you take risks? Abreu missed the pitch and then the runner was thrown out attempting to stea–
He was safe? Well it was still dumb. That’s why you’ll never seeing me make such a proactive call.
I may dumb, Chuck, but not retarded.
Scott Williamson is in serious need of a comb.
Wow.
I mean, just, wow.
The sea was angry that day, my friends.
Hey, Scoob! Look at me, man! I’m in the Cubs dugout wearing a jersey with “Williamson” on the back!
imagine when i get to come in on a hot day with that head of hair…..looks like ill fit in perfectly with the rest of the bullpen
Stay away from my weed, Williamson!
You mean that home plate isn’t 58 feet away? Damn! Now I have to rethink this whole pitching thing.
Easier to douse it in gasoline and start it in on fire.
Do I have any other pitches other than sliders?
Do I?
I don’t have legs … but I do have flukes. And Seattle, I still love your plankton pie. Ooooowooowooooh!
Yes! Now I can go 0-4 with 2 errors in the Bigs again.
If anybody gets on, I’ll bat this inning. You excited?
It’s burrito time.
I mean HERO time.
Wait–never mind. I’ll just pop out to right.
Drive home safely.
My glove is the length of my entire arm. There’s newspaper stuffed in the finger holes to help my child-like hands have control over it.
Where’s Karen Black? Shove me into an oven and turn it on, will she? I’ll show her! I’ll slice her up like a pot roast!
when did i start playing super again?
100 mph? Sheesh. I can hit that.
Man, I love Michael Barrett.
I sure redeemed myself for yesterday
Note to self:
Never come in to the GameCast after the third inning. I’m completely lost…except for the stuff about Mike D and the funny crap about Chuck.
Who was sent down to make room for the walking wounded? And what happened to Prior? And why is funny, after 4 months, that Will Ohman can’t throw his slider more than 58 feet?
I’m going back to sleep now…
What?
I never met a first pitch I didn’t want to swing at. Or a second. Or a third…
See ya in the funny papers.
I rule!
OK, boys, step right up. No pushing, no shoving. Don’t crowd. Plenty of room for everybody.
any desipiots in new york?
I have 2 extra tickets to saturdays game at Shea (zambrano v. zambrano). Field Box.
Wouldn’t the Zambrano Death Match be on me, Caramis? I believe Maddux will be serving up stewardess-less Laguardia flights on Saturday.
bozos72, now how in the hell was that a note to yourself? Stawp yourself.
The Cubs are now 54-54. They have 54 left so that means to get to 90 wins they have to go 36-18 the rest of the way. They have 17 series left to play. So if they lose one game in every one of those series and win the series, that puts them at 91-71. Out of those 17 series, 4 of them have 4 games instead of 3. You’d have to say the Cubs would be lucky to split all of those series. We know how the Cubs operate and there is no chance in hell they won’t lose at least one or two games in each series.
Bottom line: Jim Hendry needs to take out a page of the Orioles, which was firing Lee Mazzili, and do the same with Dusty right now. Whatever amount it takes in the buyout of Dusty’s contract for now and next year, pay that amount to have Dusty pack his bags to get out of town.
Baker Basher
Now I wish they HAD blown that game on Tuesday. As a season ticket holder, I’d rather they tank now so they don’t come around with their grubby little hands demanding deposits for –gulp– playoff tickets, on whose interest they’ll make a tidy little sum before they inevitably have to refund us in October when they fail to make it.
What another disappointing season. Dusty just has to go–they got rid of all of the so-called “distractions” after last year and yet they still play the most fundamentally flawed baseball in the history of human beings. All arrows point at the toothpick chewer who is no doubt positioning himself to blame his failure on the culture of Cubdom rather than his own pathological ineptitude. We’ve seen it all before.
Dusty, you are such an ass. I really hate you. I just don’t know what to say anymore.
So many Cubs’ fans were on me so I just collasped!
We’re not made by “Thursday Plantation” for nothing.
Season cancelled logo?
Mike – are you saying you have to pay the playoff deposit to keep your season tickets?
#135 whoever you are, that was fucking hilarious, Flap Jacks or Hot Dogs, ha! Best comment ever.
dudes, chill dudes, who you want instead of me? rigleman? please dudes keep your compousure….dudes
323, F*#K , you’re right! It it maddux, oh well, good thing, I’m going sunday also,
Ishi will be starting for the Metropolitans so it should be an ugly game,
seriously though if anyone is interested I have 2 spare tixets, great seats. Field Box 176 B, send me a personal message or leave a comment on my blog.
332– I don’t know about that. However, I can tell you that after 2003, they’ve reduced the number of tickets you get if you’re a nights & weekends ticket holder. In other words, we got ALL the games for ’03. Last year, we would have had one less NLCS game and one less World Series game.
333–I humbly take credit for the hot dogs and flapjacks comments.
ok dudes we lost..we are 2 games back on the plan I laid out last week dudes.
I had us winning the rubber game vs SF and we did.
I saw us winning 3 out of 4 against the DBacks, we won 1.
I had us losing this series against PHI 2-1 which we did.
So, we’re 2 games out of my plan to get us to 87 wins, dudes.
I have us losing the Met series 2-1, so if we sweep, we get back on track in my plan to 87 wins dudes
And we can sweep in NY, we have nomar, scotty, kerry…dudes
To recap the plan:
vs HOU & STL 10-11
vs MIL,PITT,CIN 10-4
vs everybody else 13-6
= 87-75 good enough for the WC dudes.
One frontal lobotamy please.
Tribune: Hello, season ticket holder, we’re here to collect the deposit on playoff…
Any reasonable individual: Release the hounds.
vs Hou and STL 0-21
Do you really think I’m going to rally the troops vs those guys?
Hey, Caramis, rumor has it that Jeo Seo might be starting on Saturday for the Mets, not me. Willie Randolph’s not tipping his hand yet.
dudes, everybody has some rough spells, see the mets today? they gave up 5 in the ninth to loose a game that was theirs dudes….that gotta hurt dudes but you don’t see nobody firing willie…and they have a higher payroll than us, dudes….maybe scoop is right.
See #338.
87 wins is good enough for the Cubs to get in? Oh, we might have something to say about that. By the way, how many innings are your starters averaging lately?
I’m an idiot
ok let’s pretend they fire me tonight…you don’t trust anyone in my staff so the interim couldn’t be larry or sarge or clines…they’d go too.
You’d have to go looking around…who you like? baylor? rigleman? trebelhorn? please, please stop making comments without worth ok dudes?
#345 dude, chill, dude… get out of the heat, dude
You hire Larry Dierker
Give me Dusty’s job! I can pull a 1960 Lou Boudreau! I’m tanned, rested, and ready!
Am I available?
I had brain surgery 6 years ago.
ok dudes, how’bout Ken Macha? jerry narron? (hahahaha)
face it, you’re stuck with me, at least until october dudes.
I can manage the fucken Cubs, dude! Only the bruthas play, crackers on the bench. Fight the power!!
larry bowa
john kruk
lenny dykstra
gary carter
steve garvey
ron cey
davey martinez
buck martinez
peter gammons
kevin kennedy
johnny bench
bob ueker
peter uberoth
al michaels
john madden
john stamos
michael j. fox
chris conolly
bobby the brain heenan
the magnificent muracco
I could manage the Cubs. Hell that would be a great Hendry threat: “You guys either start winning, or I’m bringing in Stone to manage you and piss you off.”
Ahem.
Seriously!
How did I get hurt? Is this a fake injury?
#354 you got a point dude…seriously, if it’s Steve Stone, fire me now…
I’ll stop defending myself now dudes…All I wanted was a good answer to the question:
“If I was fired who would be the manager?”. I got the answer so I’ll shut up now.
dudes.
I want to manage again… any openings?
guys, my firts move as manager would be to name Chip as first base coach,
tHom brenneman 3rd base coach and gay thorne pitching coach.
How do you like that?
I’ll go with Hank, if he turns it down, give me Bobby “the brain” Heenan
**on the field, clapping hands, with cub uniform on**
“swing batter, batter..
swing batter, batter”
I am not very intimidating this weekend
Hill vs Glavine
Maddux vs Ishii* (but probabaly Seo)
Zambrano verses the vastly inferior Zambrano
not bad.
Cast my vote for Bobby “The Brain” Heenan! Since it’s Chicago, cast my vote 25 times.
Can’t you hire our Bobby Flay or Emeril as manager? Then Santo’s pre-game manager interview can be making sandwiches.
sandwiches are not healthy, would you prefer a beautiful mango and papaya salad?
Hey Hendry, I’d manage that Cubs team! And I’d find a place to play that vastly underrated 2b you got for Sosa!
From an interview by Paul Sullivan on the SI site:
“Dusty calls Todd Walker Jimmy Neutron because Darren thinks he resembles the cartoon hero”
Most.Overhyped.Pitcher.Ever.
Hey Cubs, how’s it going back there? We see some faint lights in our rear view mirrors, so we assume that it’s you. Don’t worry, we’ll be out of sight real soon.
He is close considering that: Oswalt, Clemens, Sheets, Zambrano, Willis, Burnett, Martinez, Smoltz, Carpenter, Peavy, Myers, and Hudson are all better than he is…and that’s just the NL.
Santana, Halladay, Garland, Buehrle, Harden, Zito, and there are a few who are pretty close to him too.
Hairston was placed on the 15 day D.L. with torn ligaments in his elbow. I can’t picture them recalling Korey, who is hitting .219 at Iowa. Felix Pie, as far as I know, hasn’t returned from the D.L. yet.
So that leaves your choice of Calvin Murray, Ben Grieve, or David Kelton. I’d guess Calvin gets the call since he’s the only one who can play CF.
Shit…wonderfull.
I just got one deeper ya’ll. No where’s my toothpick?
Wow, Cleveland activated Travis Haffner off the D.L. today and sent Jason Dubois to the minors.
But, I’m still dizzy and my jaw hurts.
Hey! What about me! Hello?
Echo..echo..echo..
Now batting for Pedro Borbon…Manny Mota..Mota..Mota.
I think we can add me to the as good as, or better than Prior list now. He is the best pitcher any of us have ever seen, right?
My joke was funnier the first five times I made it.
Good morning to all my salad loving friends!!
I am the Adam Dunn of Desipio…I am GOD here.
no
Hey Apex,
What’s with the salad thing man?
It’s all about a way of life, eating healthy foods and enjoying what the world has to offer.
no
That’s deep Apex! I thought it was about tossin one here and there. Sorry!
That too! Now where’s my tongs?