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General Category => The Old Feedbag => Topic started by: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 08:45:33 PM

Title: Gin
Post by: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 08:45:33 PM
I will state that I have not consumed enough gin to have internalized comparisons for quite some time. However, Ye Olde Beverage Marte was handing out samples of Hendrick's this evening. I'm having a hard time believing that, at northward of $30 per 750 ml, that this isn't some sort of very elaborate practical joke. The flavor in fact appears to have left the back two-thirds of my oral cavity completely untouched. I would also note that the post hoc cucumber and rose adumbrations were nowhere in evidence. The attack on the palate is utterly flat and rounds out only marginally with sustained effort. It is more engaging as later-exhaled fumes, like a gyros sandwich. Moreover, I've already got perfectly good rose essence in the pantry and access to cucumbers, so I'll be damned if I can figure out why I need a bunch of aspiring Welshmen to pretend to flavor their still-drippings with them for me.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 09:13:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

This would be way better if you had shouted "The law can't touch me, baby!" while being booked.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 13, 2012, 09:19:19 PM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 09:13:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

This would be way better if you had shouted "The law can't touch me, baby!" while being booked.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure all I could blubber was "PLEASE DON'T CALL MY PARENTS" 

Fucking Gin--how does it work?
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Wheezer on July 14, 2012, 12:03:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 09:19:19 PM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 09:13:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

This would be way better if you had shouted "The law can't touch me, baby!" while being booked.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure all I could blubber was "PLEASE DON'T CALL MY PARENTS"

Fucking Gin--how does it work?

I will risk having told this gin story before. Once, as an undergraduate, I consumed an alarming amount of gin one evening. The next day, I arose in a state of stupefaction and pain. My imaginary girlfriend was a ballet dancer with very real chronic pain who took giant horse pills of aspirin. For some reason, one of these black-and-white spansules was simply lying on the floor in the middle of the room, and I downed it promptly and retreated to bed. The nausea from this assult was not prompt, but when it finally came, I dry-heaved up a perfectly formed ball of fuzz nearly an inch in diameter and nothing else. I didn't realize what it actually was until the next day.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 14, 2012, 08:33:54 AM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 14, 2012, 12:03:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 09:19:19 PM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 09:13:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

This would be way better if you had shouted "The law can't touch me, baby!" while being booked.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure all I could blubber was "PLEASE DON'T CALL MY PARENTS"

Fucking Gin--how does it work?

I will risk having told this gin story before. Once, as an undergraduate, I consumed an alarming amount of gin one evening. The next day, I arose in a state of stupefaction and pain. My imaginary girlfriend was a ballet dancer with very real chronic pain who took giant horse pills of aspirin. For some reason, one of these black-and-white spansules was simply lying on the floor in the middle of the room, and I downed it promptly and retreated to bed. The nausea from this assult was not prompt, but when it finally came, I dry-heaved up a perfectly formed ball of fuzz nearly an inch in diameter and nothing else. I didn't realize what it actually was until the next day.

tl;dr Wheezer got drunk on gin and licked his cat all night.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 14, 2012, 08:34:26 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

Terrifying.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Eli on July 14, 2012, 11:48:19 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 14, 2012, 08:34:26 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

Terrifying.

Everyone was extremely impressed, however.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Wheezer on July 15, 2012, 12:13:59 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 14, 2012, 08:33:54 AM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 14, 2012, 12:03:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 09:19:19 PM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 09:13:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

This would be way better if you had shouted "The law can't touch me, baby!" while being booked.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure all I could blubber was "PLEASE DON'T CALL MY PARENTS"

Fucking Gin--how does it work?

I will risk having told this gin story before. Once, as an undergraduate, I consumed an alarming amount of gin one evening. The next day, I arose in a state of stupefaction and pain. My imaginary girlfriend was a ballet dancer with very real chronic pain who took giant horse pills of aspirin. For some reason, one of these black-and-white spansules was simply lying on the floor in the middle of the room, and I downed it promptly and retreated to bed. The nausea from this assult was not prompt, but when it finally came, I dry-heaved up a perfectly formed ball of fuzz nearly an inch in diameter and nothing else. I didn't realize what it actually was until the next day.

tl;dr Wheezer got drunk on gin and licked his cat all night.

Have you no sense of wonder? Have you never seen regurgitated cat hair? This was dry and pristine. It was caught in the moment of creation.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Tonker on July 15, 2012, 01:10:39 AM
Quote from: Wheezer on July 13, 2012, 08:45:33 PM
I will state that I have not consumed enough gin to have internalized comparisons for quite some time. However, Ye Olde Beverage Marte was handing out samples of Hendrick's this evening. I'm having a hard time believing that, at northward of $30 per 750 ml, that this isn't some sort of very elaborate practical joke. The flavor in fact appears to have left the back two-thirds of my oral cavity completely untouched. I would also note that the post hoc cucumber and rose adumbrations were nowhere in evidence. The attack on the palate is utterly flat and rounds out only marginally with sustained effort. It is more engaging as later-exhaled fumes, like a gyros sandwich. Moreover, I've already got perfectly good rose essence in the pantry and access to cucumbers, so I'll be damned if I can figure out why I need a bunch of aspiring Welshmen to pretend to flavor their still-drippings with them for me.

I'm not going to respond to that stick-poke.

Ah, fuck it.  Yes, I am.  You cheeky cunt.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Tonker on July 15, 2012, 01:17:31 AM
Back on topic, people keep giving me Hendrick's - partially because it's Scottish and partially because of Tonklet no.1's name.  It's nowhere near as bad as Wheezer makes out: Hendrick's, Bombay Sapphire and Tanqueray are all fine.  I wouldn't drink Gordon's if they were giving it away, it's minging.

There is only one fully correct answer, and that is Plymouth.  It makes the perfect martini and is actually too good to pollute with tonic.  If you drink gin, and you're not drinking Plymouth, you bloody well should be.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Gilgamesh on July 15, 2012, 04:19:06 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

At least they had a suspect.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 15, 2012, 08:41:38 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh on July 15, 2012, 04:19:06 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

At least they had a suspect.

Indeed they had.  And to Tonk's point, I'm pretty sure the schwag I had was Gordons.  So there's your lesson, kids.  Stay away from Gordons, stay out of jail.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Wheezer on July 15, 2012, 03:44:04 PM
Quote from: Tonker on July 15, 2012, 01:17:31 AM
Back on topic, people keep giving me Hendrick's - partially because it's Scottish and partially because of Tonklet no.1's name.  It's nowhere near as bad as Wheezer makes out: Hendrick's, Bombay Sapphire and Tanqueray are all fine.

The Hendrick's wasn't bad, it was... incomplete. And ridiculously overpriced for what it is.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 16, 2012, 07:17:29 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

So the one time they actually look for suspects, you've got your dong out.

Nice going, Seamus.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 16, 2012, 08:25:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 16, 2012, 07:17:29 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

So the one time they actually look for suspects, you've got your dong out.

Nice going, Seamus.

FACE.

Quote from: Gilgamesh on July 15, 2012, 04:19:06 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

At least they had a suspect.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 16, 2012, 08:28:52 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on July 16, 2012, 08:25:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on July 16, 2012, 07:17:29 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

So the one time they actually look for suspects, you've got your dong out.

Nice going, Seamus.

FACE.

Quote from: Gilgamesh on July 15, 2012, 04:19:06 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

At least they had a suspect.

C'mon, nobody reads Gil.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: SKO on July 16, 2012, 10:35:42 AM
Gilbey's Gin. Perfect for that sensation of scraping your innards with steel wool.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Tonker on July 16, 2012, 03:23:16 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 16, 2012, 10:35:42 AM
Gilbey's Gin. Perfect for that sensation of scraping your innards with steel wool.

I may have mentioned this before, but when I lived in Manchester in 1994 (curiously, I was living in Burnage, which is where Oasis are from, and this was just as they hit the big time - coincidence?), I shared a house with four other lads.  One of them - a real Australian - worked as a sales rep for Gilbey's vintners and so we had a garage literally full of Gilbey's gin, Smirnoff vodka, J&B whiskey and something called CJ Crocker.  I can therefore assure you, SKO, that Gilbey's gin is by no means the worst thing that Gilbey's distributes.  CJ Crocker was like a poor man's Southern Comfort, if you can imagine that for a moment.  I sincerely hope that the UN has since outlawed it.

Anyway, I was young and my liver was made of cast iron, so it didn't seem to matter.  Also, two of the other lads who lived in the house were sales reps for the pharmaceutical company that made "Resolve", hangover cure.  What a summer.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: PenPho on July 16, 2012, 03:31:23 PM
Quote from: Tonker on July 16, 2012, 03:23:16 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 16, 2012, 10:35:42 AM
Gilbey's Gin. Perfect for that sensation of scraping your innards with steel wool.

I may have mentioned this before, but when I lived in Manchester in 1994 (curiously, I was living in Burnage, which is where Oasis are from, and this was just as they hit the big time - coincidence?), I shared a house with four other lads.  One of them - a real Australian - worked as a sales rep for Gilbey's vintners and so we had a garage literally full of Gilbey's gin, Smirnoff vodka, J&B whiskey and something called CJ Crocker.  I can therefore assure you, SKO, that Gilbey's gin is by no means the worst thing that Gilbey's distributes.  CJ Crocker was like a poor man's Southern Comfort, if you can imagine that for a moment.  I sincerely hope that the UN has since outlawed it.

Anyway, I was young and my liver was made of cast iron, so it didn't seem to matter.  Also, two of the other lads who lived in the house were sales reps for the pharmaceutical company that made "Resolve", hangover cure.  What a summer.

So, one provided all the booze, two provided the hangover remedy, and you provided....?

Feel free to use this as an opportunity to boast.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Shooter on July 16, 2012, 07:03:40 PM
Quote from: PenPho on July 16, 2012, 03:31:23 PM
Quote from: Tonker on July 16, 2012, 03:23:16 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 16, 2012, 10:35:42 AM
Gilbey's Gin. Perfect for that sensation of scraping your innards with steel wool.

I may have mentioned this before, but when I lived in Manchester in 1994 (curiously, I was living in Burnage, which is where Oasis are from, and this was just as they hit the big time - coincidence?), I shared a house with four other lads.  One of them - a real Australian - worked as a sales rep for Gilbey's vintners and so we had a garage literally full of Gilbey's gin, Smirnoff vodka, J&B whiskey and something called CJ Crocker.  I can therefore assure you, SKO, that Gilbey's gin is by no means the worst thing that Gilbey's distributes.  CJ Crocker was like a poor man's Southern Comfort, if you can imagine that for a moment.  I sincerely hope that the UN has since outlawed it.

Anyway, I was young and my liver was made of cast iron, so it didn't seem to matter.  Also, two of the other lads who lived in the house were sales reps for the pharmaceutical company that made "Resolve", hangover cure.  What a summer.

So, one provided all the booze, two provided the hangover remedy, and you provided....?

Feel free to use this as an opportunity to boast.

(||)
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 17, 2012, 07:22:39 AM
Quote from: PenPho on July 16, 2012, 03:31:23 PM
Quote from: Tonker on July 16, 2012, 03:23:16 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 16, 2012, 10:35:42 AM
Gilbey's Gin. Perfect for that sensation of scraping your innards with steel wool.

I may have mentioned this before, but when I lived in Manchester in 1994 (curiously, I was living in Burnage, which is where Oasis are from, and this was just as they hit the big time - coincidence?), I shared a house with four other lads.  One of them - a real Australian - worked as a sales rep for Gilbey's vintners and so we had a garage literally full of Gilbey's gin, Smirnoff vodka, J&B whiskey and something called CJ Crocker.  I can therefore assure you, SKO, that Gilbey's gin is by no means the worst thing that Gilbey's distributes.  CJ Crocker was like a poor man's Southern Comfort, if you can imagine that for a moment.  I sincerely hope that the UN has since outlawed it.

Anyway, I was young and my liver was made of cast iron, so it didn't seem to matter.  Also, two of the other lads who lived in the house were sales reps for the pharmaceutical company that made "Resolve", hangover cure.  What a summer.

So, one provided all the booze, two provided the hangover remedy, and you provided....?


Sausage rolls, natch.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: Gilgamesh on July 17, 2012, 06:53:16 PM
Quote from: Fork on July 16, 2012, 07:17:29 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

So the one time they actually look for suspects, you've got your dong out.

Nice going, Seamus.

He was just visually explaining to the young lassies why he couldn't play around back there.
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 18, 2012, 09:46:58 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh on July 17, 2012, 06:53:16 PM
Quote from: Fork on July 16, 2012, 07:17:29 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

So the one time they actually look for suspects, you've got your dong out.

Nice going, Seamus.

He was just visually explaining to the young lassies why he couldn't play around back there.

There are too many memes on the field!
Title: Re: Gin
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on July 18, 2012, 10:06:17 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 18, 2012, 09:46:58 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh on July 17, 2012, 06:53:16 PM
Quote from: Fork on July 16, 2012, 07:17:29 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 13, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
I drank probably a half of bottle of gin one night as a 16 year old and wound up throwing up in the police station after having been arrested for--among other things--Indecent Exposure.  Couldn't even smell the shit for nearly a decade after that without getting the willies.

So the one time they actually look for suspects, you've got your dong out.

Nice going, Seamus.

He was just visually explaining to the young lassies why he couldn't play around back there.

There are too many memes on the field!

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