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General Category => Desipio Lounge => Topic started by: J. Walter Weatherman on April 03, 2014, 10:27:41 PM

Title: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on April 03, 2014, 10:27:41 PM
Is it too early for this? Will I come to regret starting this thread?

2-run jimmy off Mat Latos in his first career AA plate appearance tonight.

[ falls asleep with spent wiener in hand ]

In his second trip to the plate, Latos apparently gave Bryant a lesson in respecting the game. Right in the ass. Bryant responded by stealing second. (http://www.milb.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?gid=2014_04_03_tenaax_penaax_1&t=g_log&sid=milb)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 04, 2014, 08:47:29 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 03, 2014, 10:27:41 PM
Is it too early for this? Will I come to regret starting this thread?

2-run jimmy off Mat Latos in his first career AA plate appearance tonight.

[ falls asleep with spent wiener in hand ]

In his second trip to the plate, Latos apparently gave Bryant a lesson in respecting the game. Right in the ass. Bryant responded by stealing second. (http://www.milb.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?gid=2014_04_03_tenaax_penaax_1&t=g_log&sid=milb)

QuoteTennessee Top of the 3rd
Rubi Silva strikes out swinging.
Kris Bryant hit by pitch.
Offensive Substitution: Pinch-hitter John Andreoli replaces Jorge Soler.


Uh...

EDIT: Hamstring Tightness, per the internets.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 04, 2014, 08:52:31 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 03, 2014, 10:27:41 PM
Is it too early for this? Will I come to regret starting this thread?


Nope.

He's gone in dry on pitching at every level so far.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 04, 2014, 09:22:36 AM
No Kris Bryant is going to blow this league to bits. Holy shit I am beyond excited.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 04, 2014, 10:47:27 AM
Quote from: Slaky on April 04, 2014, 09:22:36 AM
No Kris Bryant is going to blow this league to bits. Holy shit I am beyond excited.

I was just thinking that this Cubs squad would be downright chubworthy with a 2001 Sammy Sosa dude going apeshit in the middle of the lineup. Fuck, I'd settle for a 1995 Sammy Sosa and it seems like that's not far off.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 04, 2014, 10:55:10 AM
That Smokies lineup is so bonerific.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 04, 2014, 12:04:50 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 04, 2014, 08:47:29 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 03, 2014, 10:27:41 PM
Is it too early for this? Will I come to regret starting this thread?

2-run jimmy off Mat Latos in his first career AA plate appearance tonight.

[ falls asleep with spent wiener in hand ]

In his second trip to the plate, Latos apparently gave Bryant a lesson in respecting the game. Right in the ass. Bryant responded by stealing second. (http://www.milb.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?gid=2014_04_03_tenaax_penaax_1&t=g_log&sid=milb)

QuoteTennessee Top of the 3rd
Rubi Silva strikes out swinging.
Kris Bryant hit by pitch.
Offensive Substitution: Pinch-hitter John Andreoli replaces Jorge Soler.


Uh...

EDIT: Hamstring Tightness, per the internets.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/694/8420595212.jpg)

Hopefully we're not looking at another year like last.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 04, 2014, 02:00:05 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 04, 2014, 12:04:50 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 04, 2014, 08:47:29 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 03, 2014, 10:27:41 PM
Is it too early for this? Will I come to regret starting this thread?

2-run jimmy off Mat Latos in his first career AA plate appearance tonight.

[ falls asleep with spent wiener in hand ]

In his second trip to the plate, Latos apparently gave Bryant a lesson in respecting the game. Right in the ass. Bryant responded by stealing second. (http://www.milb.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?gid=2014_04_03_tenaax_penaax_1&t=g_log&sid=milb)

QuoteTennessee Top of the 3rd
Rubi Silva strikes out swinging.
Kris Bryant hit by pitch.
Offensive Substitution: Pinch-hitter John Andreoli replaces Jorge Soler.


Uh...

EDIT: Hamstring Tightness, per the internets.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/694/8420595212.jpg)

Hopefully we're not looking at another year like last.

Someone ask Jesse WTF is a "lingering hammy."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 05, 2014, 09:14:48 AM
Keep dat bum Solar out of da Chris Brian thread
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 05, 2014, 11:07:13 AM
2 games, 2 dongs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on April 05, 2014, 11:52:16 AM
Quote from: Fork on April 05, 2014, 11:07:13 AM
2 games, 2 dongs.

Christ Brian: Dong Machine
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 06, 2014, 09:07:08 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 05, 2014, 11:52:16 AM
Quote from: Fork on April 05, 2014, 11:07:13 AM
2 games, 2 dongs.

Christ Brian: Dong Machine

Seconded.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 07, 2014, 08:56:38 AM
Quote from: Fork on April 06, 2014, 09:07:08 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 05, 2014, 11:52:16 AM
Quote from: Fork on April 05, 2014, 11:07:13 AM
2 games, 2 dongs.

Christ Brian: Dong Machine

Seconded.

(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01374/life-of-brian_1374284c.jpg)

Thirded.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 07, 2014, 10:39:37 AM
Fourth tit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 07, 2014, 11:09:47 AM
Present.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 07, 2014, 11:29:02 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 07, 2014, 11:09:47 AM
Present.

When did CT start offshoring his vote?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 07, 2014, 12:14:05 PM
Quote from: Fork on April 07, 2014, 11:29:02 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 07, 2014, 11:09:47 AM
Present.

When did CT start offshoring his vote?

It's much cheaper this way.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 13, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Take THAT, 17 year old Josh Vitters! (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=32035779)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 13, 2014, 02:52:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 13, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Take THAT, 17 year old Josh Vitters! (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=32035779)

FAKE.  That video is clearly from the 1980s.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 13, 2014, 10:23:17 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 13, 2014, 02:52:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 13, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Take THAT, 17 year old Josh Vitters! (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=32035779)

FAKE.  That video is clearly from the 1980s.

After those fantastic uniforms, my favorite part of the video is Bryant heading into second looking out at where he hit that ball and clearly digging himself.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 18, 2014, 11:57:59 PM
Bump.

Another dong, giving him 4 to go with his 3(!) steals. His walks are catching up to his strikeouts too.

He'll be in Iowa by June 1 if this keeps up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on April 19, 2014, 09:07:54 AM
Quote from: Fork on April 18, 2014, 11:57:59 PM
Bump.

Another dong, giving him 4 to go with his 3(!) steals. His walks are catching up to his strikeouts too.

He'll be in Iowa by June 1 if this keeps up.
Why do you say that? Has Gov. Branstead annexed Chicago?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 20, 2014, 08:38:57 PM
Quote from: Fork on April 18, 2014, 11:57:59 PM
Bump.

Another dong, giving him 4 to go with his 3(!) steals. His walks are catching up to his strikeouts too.

He'll be in Iowa by June 1 if this keeps up.

yay
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 20, 2014, 08:53:50 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 20, 2014, 08:38:57 PM
Quote from: Fork on April 18, 2014, 11:57:59 PM
Bump.

Another dong, giving him 4 to go with his 3(!) steals. His walks are catching up to his strikeouts too.

He'll be in Iowa by June 1 if this keeps up.

yay

Well it's something.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 08, 2014, 07:08:29 AM
Two dongs and a double that didn't miss by much last night.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 08, 2014, 09:40:17 AM
Quote from: Fork on May 08, 2014, 07:08:29 AM
Two dongs and a double that didn't miss by much last night.

Kris Bryant is all we have. /kills self
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 08, 2014, 02:41:24 PM
Quote from: Slaky on May 08, 2014, 09:40:17 AM
Quote from: Fork on May 08, 2014, 07:08:29 AM
Two dongs and a double that didn't miss by much last night.

Kris Bryant is all we have need. /kills self

(http://i.imgur.com/0gSsbWT.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 08, 2014, 07:49:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 08, 2014, 02:41:24 PM
Quote from: Slaky on May 08, 2014, 09:40:17 AM
Quote from: Fork on May 08, 2014, 07:08:29 AM
Two dongs and a double that didn't miss by much last night.

Kris Bryant is all we have need. /kills self

(http://i.imgur.com/0gSsbWT.jpg)

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 09, 2014, 08:20:38 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 08, 2014, 02:41:24 PM
Quote from: Slaky on May 08, 2014, 09:40:17 AM
Quote from: Fork on May 08, 2014, 07:08:29 AM
Two dongs and a double that didn't miss by much last night.

Kris Bryant is all we have need. /kills self

(http://i.imgur.com/0gSsbWT.jpg)


Glory, glory hallelujah.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:18:37 AM
BUMP

This dude is fucking amazing
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 23, 2014, 09:23:56 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:18:37 AM
BUMP

This dude is fucking amazing

Season so far: .335/.431/.623/1.054
With RISP: .438/.500/.708/1.208

Holy shit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:52:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

The thinking I've seen is he might fare better from the get go at AAA because of his age and experience. Which would be hilarious to see because you know that would give people an excuse to rip Baez who is the youngest player in AAA, I believe.

It's all good. These two guys man. They make me happy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:52:45 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

Any chance to see him in Chicago in September?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 09:53:27 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:52:45 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

Any chance to see him in September?
More than the chance you'll see Baez.

And I'm thinking yes to both of them.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:56:06 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 09:53:27 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:52:45 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

Any chance to see him in September?
More than the chance you'll see Baez.

And I'm thinking yes to both of them.

Since Baez seems to struggle whenever he starts a new level, it might be nice for him to get that out of the way this September. Assuming that's an actual thing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: BH on May 23, 2014, 10:20:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:56:06 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 09:53:27 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:52:45 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

Any chance to see him in September?
More than the chance you'll see Baez.

And I'm thinking yes to both of them.

Since Baez seems to struggle whenever he starts a new level, it might be nice for him to get that out of the way this September. Assuming that's an actual thing.

He seems to struggle at the beginning of the year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on May 23, 2014, 10:40:57 AM
Quote from: BH on May 23, 2014, 10:20:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:56:06 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 09:53:27 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:52:45 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

Any chance to see him in September?
More than the chance you'll see Baez.

And I'm thinking yes to both of them.

Since Baez seems to struggle whenever he starts a new level, it might be nice for him to get that out of the way this September. Assuming that's an actual thing.

He seems to struggle at the beginning of the year.

He probably has Seasonal Affective Disorder and isn't really himself until the weather warms up. /Parks
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:52:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

The thinking I've seen is he might fare better from the get go at AAA because of his age and experience. Which would be hilarious to see because you know that would give people an excuse to rip Baez who is the youngest player in AAA, I believe.

It's all good. These two guys man. They make me happy.


I also think the Cubs want to bring these guys up one at a time so they don't have two Super 2s in the same year. Bryant will move up to AAA after the first half ends, at the latest. The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 12:58:58 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:52:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 09:48:28 AM
Quote from: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 09:35:34 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 23, 2014, 09:31:32 AM
Are we approaching "what are we waiting for" status?

Not really because he's gotta go to AAA at some point. Probably a few weeks if this keeps up without a letdown.

They won't call him up straight from AA.

Especially given what Baez has gone through this year. I don't expect Bryant to struggle like that at AAA because his approach is better, but he does have a K rate over 27%. That's awfully high and similar to Baez's at AA last year. It's not a reason to think he'll suck or anything, but it's enough to make sure he has enough time at each level.

The thinking I've seen is he might fare better from the get go at AAA because of his age and experience. Which would be hilarious to see because you know that would give people an excuse to rip Baez who is the youngest player in AAA, I believe.

It's all good. These two guys man. They make me happy.


I also think the Cubs want to bring these guys up one at a time so they don't have two Super 2s in the same year. Bryant will move up to AAA after the first half ends, at the latest. The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.
The only way to avoid 2 Super 2s would be for one of them not to be hear until next June.  I suppose Baez could be delayed that long, but I doubt it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on May 23, 2014, 01:57:19 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 12:58:58 PM
The only way to avoid 2 Super 2s would be for one of them not to be hear until next June.

Wait, what?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 23, 2014, 02:01:32 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on May 23, 2014, 01:57:19 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 12:58:58 PM
The only way to avoid 2 Super 2s would be for one of them not to be hear until next June.

Wait, what?

He said hear, here.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 02:16:37 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 02:01:32 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on May 23, 2014, 01:57:19 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 23, 2014, 12:58:58 PM
The only way to avoid 2 Super 2s would be for one of them not to be hear until next June.

Wait, what?

He said hear, here.

(http://www.speechbuddy.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/speech12.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 23, 2014, 03:34:54 PM
Chuck said "The "sheriff is near!"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on May 23, 2014, 04:29:48 PM
Having re-read this thread, I see what Chuck was saying.

Which is to say: "No, Fork?"

Does anyone really expect either of these guys to be held back in 2015 solely for sake of not starting their arbitration clocks?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 23, 2014, 04:50:26 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on May 23, 2014, 04:29:48 PM
Having re-read this thread, I see what Chuck was saying.

Which is to say: "No, Fork?"

Does anyone really expect either of these guys to be held back in 2015 solely for sake of not starting their arbitration clocks?

No way.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on May 23, 2014, 07:55:31 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Seriously. The moment the minor leagues became farm teams, the idea of standings became instantly irrelevant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tinker to Evers to Chance on May 23, 2014, 10:51:12 PM
Quote from: Bort on May 23, 2014, 07:55:31 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Seriously. The moment the minor leagues became farm teams, the idea of standings became instantly irrelevant.

Bulshit. Iowa Cubs vs Albuquerque Isotopes is one of the great sbox rivalries.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on May 24, 2014, 12:00:16 AM
Quote from: Tinker to Evers to Chance on May 23, 2014, 10:51:12 PM
Quote from: Bort on May 23, 2014, 07:55:31 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Seriously. The moment the minor leagues became farm teams, the idea of standings became instantly irrelevant.

Bulshit. Iowa Cubs vs Albuquerque Isotopes is one of the great sbox rivalries.

You and SKO keep telling yourselves that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

And I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

Point is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 24, 2014, 11:07:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

And I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

Point is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.
5 minutes? No. But a few days if it makes their minor league partners more money? Youbetcha.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 24, 2014, 05:24:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

Nor did I even say that they control player moves.  And it's not that the ticket sales offices "might care," they do care.  A lot.  Have you worked in minor league ball?  I have, and they really, really care.  The funny part is they have absolutely nothing to do with the players on the field or the coaches who coach them, but they still worry about win-loss record anyway and minor league GMs say silly things like, "After last night's loss I think the team needs a little extra hitting practice this morning."  If they actually said that to the manager, he'd laugh in their faces.  Thanks for reminding me that minor league affiliates don't control player moves or anything of significance, though.

QuoteAnd I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

No, they don't, but this is also responding to something I didn't say.  I've watched minor league managers sacrifice development by trying for wins, because they're old school enough to think they won't advance in the organization unless they have a winning record.  That would be why I said "managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record."  Thanks for informing me that their jobs are to teach and develop.

QuotePoint is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.

No shit.  I think you need to dial down this whole Cubs Contrarian thing you're doing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 25, 2014, 02:11:14 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:24:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

Nor did I even say that they control player moves.  And it's not that the ticket sales offices "might care," they do care.  A lot.  Have you worked in minor league ball?  I have, and they really, really care.  The funny part is they have absolutely nothing to do with the players on the field or the coaches who coach them, but they still worry about win-loss record anyway and minor league GMs say silly things like, "After last night's loss I think the team needs a little extra hitting practice this morning."  If they actually said that to the manager, he'd laugh in their faces.  Thanks for reminding me that minor league affiliates don't control player moves or anything of significance, though.

QuoteAnd I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

No, they don't, but this is also responding to something I didn't say.  I've watched minor league managers sacrifice development by trying for wins, because they're old school enough to think they won't advance in the organization unless they have a winning record.  That would be why I said "managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record."  Thanks for informing me that their jobs are to teach and develop.

QuotePoint is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.

No shit.  I think you need to dial down this whole Cubs Contrarian thing you're doing.

I think you need to relax a bit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 25, 2014, 04:15:39 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 25, 2014, 02:11:14 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:24:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

Nor did I even say that they control player moves.  And it's not that the ticket sales offices "might care," they do care.  A lot.  Have you worked in minor league ball?  I have, and they really, really care.  The funny part is they have absolutely nothing to do with the players on the field or the coaches who coach them, but they still worry about win-loss record anyway and minor league GMs say silly things like, "After last night's loss I think the team needs a little extra hitting practice this morning."  If they actually said that to the manager, he'd laugh in their faces.  Thanks for reminding me that minor league affiliates don't control player moves or anything of significance, though.

QuoteAnd I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

No, they don't, but this is also responding to something I didn't say.  I've watched minor league managers sacrifice development by trying for wins, because they're old school enough to think they won't advance in the organization unless they have a winning record.  That would be why I said "managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record."  Thanks for informing me that their jobs are to teach and develop.

QuotePoint is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.

No shit.  I think you need to dial down this whole Cubs Contrarian thing you're doing.

I think you need to relax a bit.

I THINK YOU oh okay.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 25, 2014, 09:08:47 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:24:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

Nor did I even say that they control player moves.  And it's not that the ticket sales offices "might care," they do care.  A lot.  Have you worked in minor league ball?  I have, and they really, really care.  The funny part is they have absolutely nothing to do with the players on the field or the coaches who coach them, but they still worry about win-loss record anyway and minor league GMs say silly things like, "After last night's loss I think the team needs a little extra hitting practice this morning."  If they actually said that to the manager, he'd laugh in their faces.  Thanks for reminding me that minor league affiliates don't control player moves or anything of significance, though.

QuoteAnd I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

No, they don't, but this is also responding to something I didn't say.  I've watched minor league managers sacrifice development by trying for wins, because they're old school enough to think they won't advance in the organization unless they have a winning record.  That would be why I said "managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record."  Thanks for informing me that their jobs are to teach and develop.

QuotePoint is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.

No shit.  I think you need to dial down this whole Cubs Contrarian thing you're doing.

Clearly, I'm the one who needs to dial something down.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 25, 2014, 07:04:15 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 25, 2014, 09:08:47 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:24:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 24, 2014, 08:48:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 24, 2014, 05:12:41 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 23, 2014, 05:24:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM
The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

No one gives a shit about minor league standings.

Except the minor league front offices, and the managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record, but that's another matter.

Do you mean like ticket sales offices? I guess they might care. But it's not like the front offices of these teams are controlling player moves or anything of significance.

Nor did I even say that they control player moves.  And it's not that the ticket sales offices "might care," they do care.  A lot.  Have you worked in minor league ball?  I have, and they really, really care.  The funny part is they have absolutely nothing to do with the players on the field or the coaches who coach them, but they still worry about win-loss record anyway and minor league GMs say silly things like, "After last night's loss I think the team needs a little extra hitting practice this morning."  If they actually said that to the manager, he'd laugh in their faces.  Thanks for reminding me that minor league affiliates don't control player moves or anything of significance, though.

QuoteAnd I don't think smart organizations judge their minor-league managers on W-L records. Those guys are there to teach and develop, plain and simple.

No, they don't, but this is also responding to something I didn't say.  I've watched minor league managers sacrifice development by trying for wins, because they're old school enough to think they won't advance in the organization unless they have a winning record.  That would be why I said "managers who think they're being judged on win-loss record."  Thanks for informing me that their jobs are to teach and develop.

QuotePoint is, the Cubs won't alter Kris Bryant's development path for even five minutes based on minor league standings/playoffs.

No shit.  I think you need to dial down this whole Cubs Contrarian thing you're doing.

Clearly, I'm the one who needs to dial something down.

#firetheo
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 27, 2014, 07:49:08 AM
.337/.431/.641/1.072, 14 HR, 43 RBI, 13 2B, 25/59 BB/K
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 29, 2014, 07:48:42 AM
Bryant had 4-hit game last night and hit his 15th HR of the season.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:06:56 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 29, 2014, 07:48:42 AM
Bryant had 4-hit game last night and hit his 15th HR of the season.

I know he only has like 350 ABs to use here, but his career Minor League OPS is 1.103. Holee Fuck

His batting numbers in the minors are better than Mike Trout's. Also, in about a 1/3 of the ABs that Trout had, Bryant has more HRs than Trout had in the minors....

So, what I'm saying is that Kris Bryant will be like 3x the hitter Trout is. Thanks, Epstink
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:38:24 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Every once in a while Twitter push notifies me of a tweet that's been retweeted by many people I follow. Each time it's obviously Cub related, I assume that he has been promoted. It's gonna hai, soon
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:49:28 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:38:24 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Every once in a while Twitter push notifies me of a tweet that's been retweeted by many people I follow. Each time it's obviously Cub related, I assume that he has been promoted. It's gonna hai, soon

Fun with numbers and arbitrary sample sizes:

Bryant in college: .344 AVG, .486 OBP, .702 SLG, 1.189 OPS
Bryant in AA: .349 AVG, .452 OBP, .667 SLG, 1.119 OPS
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 29, 2014, 09:21:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:49:28 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:38:24 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Every once in a while Twitter push notifies me of a tweet that's been retweeted by many people I follow. Each time it's obviously Cub related, I assume that he has been promoted. It's gonna hai, soon

Fun with numbers and arbitrary sample sizes:

Bryant in college: .344 AVG, .486 OBP, .702 SLG, 1.189 OPS
Bryant in AA: .349 AVG, .452 OBP, .667 SLG, 1.119 OPS

This is how projecting two levels works, right?
Bryant in MLB: .354 AVG, .418 OBP, .632 SLG, 1.049 OPS

That's pretty ok.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 29, 2014, 09:41:32 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 29, 2014, 09:21:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:49:28 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:38:24 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Every once in a while Twitter push notifies me of a tweet that's been retweeted by many people I follow. Each time it's obviously Cub related, I assume that he has been promoted. It's gonna hai, soon

Fun with numbers and arbitrary sample sizes:

Bryant in college: .344 AVG, .486 OBP, .702 SLG, 1.189 OPS
Bryant in AA: .349 AVG, .452 OBP, .667 SLG, 1.119 OPS

This is how projecting two levels works, right?
Bryant in MLB: .354 AVG, .418 OBP, .632 SLG, 1.049 OPS

That's pretty ok.

The only question I have left about Bryant's future is: Shirsey or thigh tat?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 09:44:07 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 29, 2014, 09:21:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:49:28 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:38:24 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Every once in a while Twitter push notifies me of a tweet that's been retweeted by many people I follow. Each time it's obviously Cub related, I assume that he has been promoted. It's gonna hai, soon

Fun with numbers and arbitrary sample sizes:

Bryant in college: .344 AVG, .486 OBP, .702 SLG, 1.189 OPS
Bryant in AA: .349 AVG, .452 OBP, .667 SLG, 1.119 OPS

This is how projecting two levels works, right?
Bryant in MLB: .354 AVG, .418 OBP, .632 SLG, 1.049 OPS

That's pretty ok.

50.22 HR/162 games in college.

45.36 HR/162 games in the minors.



40.54 HR/162 games MLB
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 29, 2014, 09:49:35 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 09:44:07 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 29, 2014, 09:21:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:49:28 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 08:38:24 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Every once in a while Twitter push notifies me of a tweet that's been retweeted by many people I follow. Each time it's obviously Cub related, I assume that he has been promoted. It's gonna hai, soon

Fun with numbers and arbitrary sample sizes:

Bryant in college: .344 AVG, .486 OBP, .702 SLG, 1.189 OPS
Bryant in AA: .349 AVG, .452 OBP, .667 SLG, 1.119 OPS

This is how projecting two levels works, right?
Bryant in MLB: .354 AVG, .418 OBP, .632 SLG, 1.049 OPS

That's pretty ok.

50.22 HR/162 games in college.

45.36 HR/162 games in the minors.



405.4 HR/162 games MLB

Your calculations were out.  I fixed them.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on May 29, 2014, 12:57:06 PM
Am I allowed to be excited yet? Because I am sitting by Huey's bike, ready to flip it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 12:57:48 PM
Quote from: Bort on May 29, 2014, 12:57:06 PM
Am I allowed to be excited yet? Because I am sitting by Huey's bike, ready to flip it.

Flip it irregardless.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on May 29, 2014, 01:03:41 PM
Quote from: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 12:57:48 PM
Quote from: Bort on May 29, 2014, 12:57:06 PM
Am I allowed to be excited yet? Because I am sitting by Huey's bike, ready to flip it.

Flip it irregardless.

Your right.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 04:59:12 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?

His next contract.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 29, 2014, 05:23:46 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?

His K rate is 27.1% (pretty darn high), if you want to nitpick things. But that's a stretch with his current production.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 29, 2014, 05:58:58 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 04:59:12 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?

His next contract.

As perviously noted in here, it would be pretty bad judgement by Jepstink to hold Bryant back until this time next year just to milk another year of arbitration out of him. He'll get some time in Iowa, just to make sure he doesn't Vitters it up there, then he'll be here for Labor Day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on May 29, 2014, 06:13:26 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 29, 2014, 05:58:58 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 04:59:12 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?

His next contract.

As perviously noted in here, it would be pretty bad judgement by Jepstink to hold Bryant back until this time next year just to milk another year of arbitration out of him. He'll get some time in Iowa, just to make sure he doesn't Vitters it up there, then he'll be here for Labor Day.

Intrepid Reader: Fork

"No, Fork." (http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=8644.msg275632#msg275632)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on May 29, 2014, 09:15:44 PM
16.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 29, 2014, 09:31:23 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on May 29, 2014, 09:15:44 PM
16.

*refigures KRISBRYANTEXPECTEDMLBHR+*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 29, 2014, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?

His ability to provide the same sort of production against MLB-level pitching.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 29, 2014, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 29, 2014, 04:44:56 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 01:42:08 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 29, 2014, 01:08:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 29, 2014, 08:36:02 AM
I think it's time to promote the guy.

Just to be clear, you're referring to AAA, right?

Yes. I guess if he also lays waste AAA for the next two months, he could get a cup of coffee this year. But there's really no reason for him to skip a development step right now.

With those numbers, what is left to develop?

His ability to provide the same sort of production against MLB-level pitching.

Seriously.

I mean, is AAA is such a big step from AA?  I remember conventional thinking 10 or so years ago held that the jump from High-A to AA was generally more significant, and a better predictor of a player's success/failure, than the jump from AA to AAA.  That it's served as a reliable weeding-out point.  Because in addition to the prospects that still populate AAA rosters, you also have the Crash Davis, AAAA players still hanging on and it sort of changes the dynamic, from a scouting and development perspective.

I mean, go ahead and send the kid to the bright lights of Des Moines for the rest of the year....but if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 07:29:15 AM
I don't know if we're talking the same caliber of prospect futureboner, but Mike Trout only spent 20 games in AAA before being called up. He hit .403 with a HR there. When Trout was called up he was 20.

Bryce Harper did spend 21 games in AAA in 2012 in his age 19 season. He was called up that season. He only hit .243 before being called up.

Kris Bryant is destroying everything and has destroyed everything since being drafted last June. In fact, his only real slump was his first game when he struck out five times.

I'm not clamoring for him to be called up to the Cubs today. Going to AAA seems like a logical step in his development. I guess it'd be fun to have him hit dongs off the likes of the Casey Colemans and Chris Rusins of the minor leagues for 20 games. But if he destroys them, then okay...you would think the Cubs would want to call him up this year, right?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 30, 2014, 08:13:47 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
I mean, go ahead and send the kid to the bright lights of Des Moines for the rest of the year....but if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

No.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on May 30, 2014, 08:39:32 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 07:29:15 AM
In fact, his only real slump was his first game when he struck out five times.

And there was much gnashing of teeth.

Nice choice, Oopstink.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 30, 2014, 08:42:34 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.

Not to mention, with him joining a lineup that will already include Baez, Castro and Rizzo (and maybe Alcantara), the expectation for next year is a move up in the standings.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 30, 2014, 10:08:38 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.

I don't think Theo cares about backlash. Ricketts probably does but I haven't seen any indication yet that he's meddling in Theo's affairs. If anything, they've cheaped out on just about everything but Edwin Jackson.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 10:15:06 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 30, 2014, 10:08:38 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.

I don't think Theo cares about backlash. Ricketts probably does but I haven't seen any indication yet that he's meddling in Theo's affairs. If anything, they've cheaped out on just about everything but Edwin Jackson.

And international player signings.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 30, 2014, 10:16:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 10:15:06 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 30, 2014, 10:08:38 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.

I don't think Theo cares about backlash. Ricketts probably does but I haven't seen any indication yet that he's meddling in Theo's affairs. If anything, they've cheaped out on just about everything but Edwin Jackson.

And international player signings.

I don't think he cares about backlash but I don't think he's going to hold Bryant or Baez back if they're ready. For one they need to figure out as soon as possible if those guys really can be the core of your offense going forward. Call me crazy but I think Epstink is really trying to put the best team on the field as soon as he can, just not through an inefficient free-spending method.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 30, 2014, 10:26:49 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 10:15:06 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 30, 2014, 10:08:38 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.

I don't think Theo cares about backlash. Ricketts probably does but I haven't seen any indication yet that he's meddling in Theo's affairs. If anything, they've cheaped out on just about everything but Edwin Jackson.

And international player signings.

Well, other than Puig, Tanaka, Darvish, Cespedes and Ryu.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 30, 2014, 10:51:46 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 10:26:49 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 10:15:06 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 30, 2014, 10:08:38 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 08:34:00 AM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 06:05:05 AM
... if he continues to mash the fuck out of the ball is he really going to have to remain there until next June?

I really don't think so. If so, it'd be pretty obviously motivated by finances and I think there'd be a ton of backlash.

I don't think Theo cares about backlash. Ricketts probably does but I haven't seen any indication yet that he's meddling in Theo's affairs. If anything, they've cheaped out on just about everything but Edwin Jackson.

And international player signings.

Well, other than Puig, Tanaka, Darvish, Cespedes and Ryu.

Ouch, babe.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 01:56:19 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet. 

I don't think Baez gets to Chicago before Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 30, 2014, 02:05:50 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet. 

Fork wrote it. So no.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 30, 2014, 02:33:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet. 

If he hits, for the next three weeks, like he's hit for the last three, then i'd say he's up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 30, 2014, 02:34:55 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

Of course not.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 30, 2014, 02:35:55 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 30, 2014, 02:34:55 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

Of course not.

I'm glad we've made this clear. Had we reached a quorum Epstink would have been forced to take our opinions as law and call up Baez immediately.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 02:37:15 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 01:56:19 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet.  

I don't think Baez gets to Chicago before Bryant.

I know you're trying to cement yourself as "Kris Bryant guy" since you've been following him for 3 weeks, but I don't think this is gonna hai.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 02:44:33 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 02:37:15 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 30, 2014, 01:56:19 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet.  

I don't think Baez gets to Chicago before Bryant.

I know you're trying to cement yourself as "Kris Bryant guy" since you've been following him for 3 weeks, but I don't think this is gonna hai.

1. I am Kris Bryant guy.

B. Bryant has less to prove at this point, don't you think? And he's older, albeit by a year or so, and has college experience. I don't know if it will happen, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on May 30, 2014, 03:33:38 PM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 02:33:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet. 

If he hits, for the next three weeks, like he's hit for the last three, then i'd say he's up.

Use more commas next time please.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 30, 2014, 03:45:09 PM
Quote from: R-V on May 30, 2014, 03:33:38 PM
Quote from: PANK! on May 30, 2014, 02:33:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet. 

If he hits, for the next three weeks, like he's hit for the last three, then i'd say he's up.

Use more commas next time please.

RV, what are you talking about, RV?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on May 30, 2014, 03:52:37 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 30, 2014, 01:54:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on May 30, 2014, 01:50:14 PM
No way they hold Bryant back another 12 months. They'll bring up Baez in the next few weeks, and Bryant shows up before the end of the season. And we'll see their smiling faces on every piece of marketing the Cubs push out between now and Opening Day 2015. Even if the Ricketti want to operate on the cheap, two guys like this can move a fuckload of tickets next year.

Is this consensus?

I know he's been hitting well the last couple of weeks, and that super two status will pass, but he sure doesn't seem ready yet.  

From the start I've been counting more on July in terms of Super Two safety.

But is there any way to estimate at this point where the cut-off date will fall with any certainty whatsoever?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on May 30, 2014, 03:54:23 PM
Back to the topic - just for shits, let's use Longoria as a comp for Bryant and Trout as a comp for Baez. Not because these guys will be that good or will be similar hitters, but just for similar age/experience profiles.

Longoria had 881 minor league plate appearances before he was called up - he had a walk rate of 11% and a K rate of 18%.

Bryant has only logged 372 minor league PAs and has a walk rate of 11% and a K rate of 26%.

His OBA is 40 points higher than Longoria's was, and his SLG is a ridiculous 150 points or so higher, so with that production you can absolutely live with that K rate. But it's not ridiculous to think another couple hundred minor league appearances are in order just to see some more pitching and work on that K rate.

Trout had 1312 minor league PAs before his call up - he had a walk rate of 12% and a K rate of 16%

Baez has almost 1,100 minor league PAs so far, but his walk rate is a Castro-esque 7% and his K rate is a Mark Reynolds-esque 34%.

So from both an experience standpoint and a for the love of Christ get that K-rate down standpoint, not crazy to think he could benefit from a couple hundred more minor league PAs. Obviously we can't hope that Baez will be the same type of hitter that Trout is - he is historically good - but that K rate is still troublesome even with the prodigious power that he's shown.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 02, 2014, 01:24:28 AM
Bump, MASSIVE DONG (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33376347&sid=t553).  God, he's dreamy.

One thing's for sure: he's not going to be facing too many LH RP in his career: .412/.512/.824/1.336 vs lefties this year.

EDIT: Now with video for extra splooge.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 02, 2014, 08:55:11 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 02, 2014, 01:24:28 AM
Bump, MASSIVE DONG (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33376347&sid=t553).  God, he's dreamy.

One thing's for sure: he's not going to be facing too many LH RP in his career: .412/.512/.824/1.336 vs lefties this year.

EDIT: Now with video for extra splooge.

(http://reactionface.net/images/original/778.jpg?new=1)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 04, 2014, 08:59:06 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

Seriously, on a curveball away. Hard to tell, but looks like it may have been off the plate, even.

Fuck it. Just bring him up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:01:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

One issue is that they have a decent prospect, Christian Villanueva, playing third at Triple A. At some point the cubs are going to need to move some of their players to free up positions for other players.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:03:09 AM
Quote from: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:01:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

One issue is that they have a decent prospect, Christian Villanueva, playing third at Triple A. At some point the cubs are going to need to move some of their players to free up positions for other players.

Villanueva can go stand in left field or sit on the bench or take up golf. His presence at third shouldn't be blocking Bryant from moving up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:04:13 AM
Quote from: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:01:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

One issue is that they have a decent prospect, Christian Villanueva, playing third at Triple A. At some point the cubs are going to need to move some of their players to free up positions for other players.

With Bryant I'm not sure any of that matters. I also don't think you'll hear Jepstink say something to the assembled press like "We're blown away by this dude. He's way better than we thought and we will call him up to the big leagues at the first opportunity."

I think they know what they have and I'm not worried about the worst case - you know the AAA ball next season.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:07:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

Just because Hoyer said that doesn't mean it's the reason. But if it is, it could be that they want him to gain more confidence before exposing him to AAA breaking pitches. His K-rate would likely increase. So he could be working on one particular thing, which we aren't privy to because we're not coaches in the Cubs minor league system, and when they're satisfied he's ready, they'll move him to the next level and let him adjust from there. That might be a better way to develop prospects, than, I don't know, looking at internet videos of his home runs and declaring him ready for the next level (or two!). It's also a better way to do it than to look at the MLB standings and home ticket sales and declaring guys ready to produce before they've developed in areas where they're deficient.

We have to trust that Theo and Co. will move guys up when they're ready and not when we think they are. How many times have we been down this road with guys who didn't pan out? I'd say a handful. And the same fucking assholes will kill that prospect and that front office when they don't live up to the hype.

Relax and have a fucking beer. The NBA Finals are about to start.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:08:53 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:04:13 AM
Quote from: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:01:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

One issue is that they have a decent prospect, Christian Villanueva, playing third at Triple A. At some point the cubs are going to need to move some of their players to free up positions for other players.

With Bryant I'm not sure any of that matters. I also don't think you'll hear Jepstink say something to the assembled press like "We're blown away by this dude. He's way better than we thought and we will call him up to the big leagues at the first opportunity."

I think they know what they have and I'm not worried about the worst case - you know the AAA ball next season.

Villanueva isn't blocking anyone, neither is Olt. But they could be interesting trade pieces, which are worth a lot less if the cubs just bench them every day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:13:50 AM
Quote from: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:08:53 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:04:13 AM
Quote from: BH on June 04, 2014, 09:01:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

One issue is that they have a decent prospect, Christian Villanueva, playing third at Triple A. At some point the cubs are going to need to move some of their players to free up positions for other players.

With Bryant I'm not sure any of that matters. I also don't think you'll hear Jepstink say something to the assembled press like "We're blown away by this dude. He's way better than we thought and we will call him up to the big leagues at the first opportunity."

I think they know what they have and I'm not worried about the worst case - you know the AAA ball next season.

Villanueva isn't blocking anyone, neither is Olt. But they could be interesting trade pieces, which are worth a lot less if the cubs just bench them every day.

Also THI
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:14:32 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:07:29 AM
it could be that they want him to gain more confidence before exposing him to AAA breaking pitches

What is he supposed to do to get more confidence at this point? Win an Oscar, develop a cure for cancer and win the NBA Finals MVP while starting at small forward for the Spurs?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 04, 2014, 09:15:16 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:07:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

Just because Hoyer said that doesn't mean it's the reason. But if it is, it could be that they want him to gain more confidence before exposing him to AAA breaking pitches. His K-rate would likely increase. So he could be working on one particular thing, which we aren't privy to because we're not coaches in the Cubs minor league system, and when they're satisfied he's ready, they'll move him to the next level and let him adjust from there. That might be a better way to develop prospects, than, I don't know, looking at internet videos of his home runs and declaring him ready for the next level (or two!). It's also a better way to do it than to look at the MLB standings and home ticket sales and declaring guys ready to produce before they've developed in areas where they're deficient.

We have to trust that Theo and Co. will move guys up when they're ready and not when we think they are. How many times have we been down this road with guys who didn't pan out? I'd say a handful. And the same fucking assholes will kill that prospect and that front office when they don't live up to the hype.

Relax and have a fucking beer. The NBA Finals are about to start.

That. Bryant is doing amazing things but as I mentioned upthread he's still got less than half the number of minor league PAs that Longoria logged before getting called up. Hell even Bryce Harper, the most hyped positional prospect in recent memory, had about 450 PAs before the Nationals called him up. I know it's depressing as hell to watch this slapdick offense while Bryant is mashing dongs in AA, but he'll be here when they think he's ready, and that'll be soon.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:16:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:14:32 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:07:29 AM
it could be that they want him to gain more confidence before exposing him to AAA breaking pitches

What is he supposed to do to get more confidence at this point? Win an Oscar, develop a cure for cancer and win the NBA Finals MVP while starting at small forward for the Spurs?

As soon as Theo's secretary puts me through, I'll let you know.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:18:35 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 09:15:16 AM
Hell even Bryce Harper, the most hyped positional prospect in recent memory, had about 450 PAs before the Nationals called him up.

Not sure Harper's path is all that relevant. He's a year younger than Bryant is right now (which is nuts).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:22:10 AM
Also, I'm not advocating that Bryant be called up to the majors this year (which is what it seems like you guys are arguing against). Just that it seems like he's certainly ready to face AAA, so they can better evaluate if he's ready to start next year in the majors or will need more time.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 09:29:02 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 09:15:16 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 09:07:29 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 08:47:21 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 01:32:38 AM
Number 19. (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33410833&topic_id=26562540&c_id=t553&sid=t553)   I know it's only AA, but this is getting ridiculous - it's an onslaught.

It really is insane. I'm almost surprised when there's a night he doesn't homer.

I don't really get why they need to see him dominate "a little bit longer" before moving him up. as Hoyer said yesterday. What happens if he's merely mortal for the next few weeks? Does he then stay in AA for the rest of the year or do they move him up anyway?

It's not that big of a deal, but it sort of seems like they're just killing time at this point. Or setting things up so he'll begin next year in AAA (guh).

Just because Hoyer said that doesn't mean it's the reason. But if it is, it could be that they want him to gain more confidence before exposing him to AAA breaking pitches. His K-rate would likely increase. So he could be working on one particular thing, which we aren't privy to because we're not coaches in the Cubs minor league system, and when they're satisfied he's ready, they'll move him to the next level and let him adjust from there. That might be a better way to develop prospects, than, I don't know, looking at internet videos of his home runs and declaring him ready for the next level (or two!). It's also a better way to do it than to look at the MLB standings and home ticket sales and declaring guys ready to produce before they've developed in areas where they're deficient.

We have to trust that Theo and Co. will move guys up when they're ready and not when we think they are. How many times have we been down this road with guys who didn't pan out? I'd say a handful. And the same fucking assholes will kill that prospect and that front office when they don't live up to the hype.

Relax and have a fucking beer. The NBA Finals are about to start.

That. Bryant is doing amazing things but as I mentioned upthread he's still got less than half the number of minor league PAs that Longoria logged before getting called up. Hell even Bryce Harper, the most hyped positional prospect in recent memory, had about 450 PAs before the Nationals called him up. I know it's depressing as hell to watch this slapdick offense while Bryant is mashing dongs in AA, but he'll be here when they think he's ready, and that'll be soon.

I agree in that Hoyepstink knows better than us. However, looking at Bryce Harper's stats, he didn't destroy any league except for single A. I think it's reasonable to say that Kris is too good for AA and he should probably be in AAA. They should probably start getting one of them (Villanueva or Bryant) ready for LF and play them there, because that's gonna have to hai if they both want to be on the Cubes
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:43:45 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 09:29:02 AM
I agree in that Hoyepstink knows better than us. However, looking at Bryce Harper's stats, he didn't destroy any league except for single A. I think it's reasonable to say that Kris is too good for AA and he should probably be in AAA. They should probably start getting one of them (Villanueva or Bryant) ready for LF and play them there, because that's gonna have to hai if they both want to be on the Cubes

Even the Longoria comp isn't great. Longoria was moved up from AA to AAA at age 21 (Bryant is 22) after a.930 OPS, which is still 230 (!) points lower than what Bryant is doing.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll move up within a few weeks and everything will be relatively fine, compared to an asteroid destroying Earth.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 04, 2014, 09:45:43 AM
Just take a moment here to realize that the Chicago Cubs currently have more prospects than positions.

The Chicago Cubs.

We're going to all be insufferable and arrogant 5 years from now, instead of just insufferable.

Now back to Bryant ramshacking the Southern League.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:46:28 AM
Also, and no one wants to hear this - but the word I heard is that they aren't quite satisfied with his glove yet.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:53:11 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 04, 2014, 09:45:43 AM
Just take a moment here to realize that the Chicago Cubs currently have more prospects than positions.

I don't know why, but this reminds me of Gil's "60% of the way to first base line."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:03:00 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:43:45 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 09:29:02 AM
I agree in that Hoyepstink knows better than us. However, looking at Bryce Harper's stats, he didn't destroy any league except for single A. I think it's reasonable to say that Kris is too good for AA and he should probably be in AAA. They should probably start getting one of them (Villanueva or Bryant) ready for LF and play them there, because that's gonna have to hai if they both want to be on the Cubes

Even the Longoria comp isn't great. Longoria was moved up from AA to AAA at age 21 (Bryant is 22) after a.930 OPS, which is still 230 (!) points lower than what Bryant is doing.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll move up within a few weeks and everything will be relatively fine, compared to an asteroid destroying Earth.

So who's a good comp then, you ungrateful jerks?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 10:07:35 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:46:28 AM
Also, and no one wants to hear this - but the word I heard is that they aren't quite satisfied with his glove yet.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:08:15 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:03:00 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:43:45 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 09:29:02 AM
I agree in that Hoyepstink knows better than us. However, looking at Bryce Harper's stats, he didn't destroy any league except for single A. I think it's reasonable to say that Kris is too good for AA and he should probably be in AAA. They should probably start getting one of them (Villanueva or Bryant) ready for LF and play them there, because that's gonna have to hai if they both want to be on the Cubes

Even the Longoria comp isn't great. Longoria was moved up from AA to AAA at age 21 (Bryant is 22) after a.930 OPS, which is still 230 (!) points lower than what Bryant is doing.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll move up within a few weeks and everything will be relatively fine, compared to an asteroid destroying Earth.

So who's a good comp then, you ungrateful jerks?

Well, based on age and production (though still not nearly as good as Bryant has been):

(http://onemansausagefest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ryan_braun-e1300296751461.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:09:23 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 10:07:35 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:46:28 AM
Also, and no one wants to hear this - but the word I heard is that they aren't quite satisfied with his glove yet.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

DPD.

I've always assumed he's moving to the outfield, so I'm not too concerned.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 10:12:59 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:08:15 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:03:00 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:43:45 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 09:29:02 AM
I agree in that Hoyepstink knows better than us. However, looking at Bryce Harper's stats, he didn't destroy any league except for single A. I think it's reasonable to say that Kris is too good for AA and he should probably be in AAA. They should probably start getting one of them (Villanueva or Bryant) ready for LF and play them there, because that's gonna have to hai if they both want to be on the Cubes

Even the Longoria comp isn't great. Longoria was moved up from AA to AAA at age 21 (Bryant is 22) after a.930 OPS, which is still 230 (!) points lower than what Bryant is doing.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll move up within a few weeks and everything will be relatively fine, compared to an asteroid destroying Earth.

So who's a good comp then, you ungrateful jerks?

Well, based on age and production (though still not nearly as good as Bryant has been):

(http://onemansausagefest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ryan_braun-e1300296751461.jpg)

Jesus, what a cock.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 10:20:31 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:09:23 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 04, 2014, 10:07:35 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 04, 2014, 09:46:28 AM
Also, and no one wants to hear this - but the word I heard is that they aren't quite satisfied with his glove yet.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

DPD.

I've always assumed he's moving to the outfield, so I'm not too concerned.

I would be a bad baseball executive because I wouldn't even care if Bryant brought a glove to the field. I wouldn't care if he sat indian style in the outfield picking grass blades.

As soon as the super two crap or whatever the fuck it is is over I'd have him in Wrigley.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 10:23:31 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:08:15 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:03:00 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:43:45 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 04, 2014, 09:29:02 AM
I agree in that Hoyepstink knows better than us. However, looking at Bryce Harper's stats, he didn't destroy any league except for single A. I think it's reasonable to say that Kris is too good for AA and he should probably be in AAA. They should probably start getting one of them (Villanueva or Bryant) ready for LF and play them there, because that's gonna have to hai if they both want to be on the Cubes

Even the Longoria comp isn't great. Longoria was moved up from AA to AAA at age 21 (Bryant is 22) after a.930 OPS, which is still 230 (!) points lower than what Bryant is doing.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll move up within a few weeks and everything will be relatively fine, compared to an asteroid destroying Earth.

So who's a good comp then, you ungrateful jerks?

Well, based on age and production (though still not nearly as good as Bryant has been):

(http://onemansausagefest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ryan_braun-e1300296751461.jpg)

Braun took a .956 OPS from the Southern League and turned it into a 1.119 in the PCL, an increase of 17%. Eli just told us that Kris Bryant is going to take his 1.160 in the SL and turn it into 1.357. SWEET!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:28:58 AM
John Arguello reads this message board?

http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/06/cubs-need-to-stick-to-their-plan-when-it-comes-to-kris-bryant-and-the-rebuild/
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:52:37 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:28:58 AM
John Arguello reads this message board?

http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/06/cubs-need-to-stick-to-their-plan-when-it-comes-to-kris-bryant-and-the-rebuild/

He kind of just says a bunch of nothing. There's no reason to rigidly follow a process just to say you're following a process. Sure, make a plan, but you deviate from it if circumstances suggest you should. If the plan was for Bryant to get 300 at-bats before moving up to AAA and he bombed by putting up a .600 OPS, would people suggest he move up anyway because that's what the process called for?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 04, 2014, 11:07:20 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 10:52:37 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 10:28:58 AM
John Arguello reads this message board?

http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/06/cubs-need-to-stick-to-their-plan-when-it-comes-to-kris-bryant-and-the-rebuild/

He kind of just says a bunch of nothing. There's no reason to rigidly follow a process just to say you're following a process. Sure, make a plan, but you deviate from it if circumstances suggest you should. If the plan was for Bryant to get 300 at-bats before moving up to AAA and he bombed by putting up a .600 OPS, would people suggest he move up anyway because that's what the process called for?

He's not claiming that The Plan calls for a fixed number of plate appearances at each stop for each prospect. I also don't think he's saying that The Plan is a rigid process without any subjective evaluation going on. He's saying that "The team has sucked for 5 years now, and we're all sick of watching bad players" is NOT a good reason to deviate from your minor league development plan.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tinker to Evers to Chance on June 04, 2014, 11:16:47 AM
I think the front office is waiting for Jim Tocco to see him play 100 games before they move him up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 11:18:48 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 11:07:20 AM
He's not claiming that The Plan calls for a fixed number of plate appearances at each stop for each prospect. I also don't think he's saying that The Plan is a rigid process without any subjective evaluation going on. He's saying that "The team has sucked for 5 years now, and we're all sick of watching bad players" is NOT a good reason to deviate from your minor league development plan.

I agree with that, but it seems like sort of a strawman. I don't think that's why most people think Bryant can safely be promoted at this point.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 11:27:01 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 11:18:48 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 04, 2014, 11:07:20 AM
He's not claiming that The Plan calls for a fixed number of plate appearances at each stop for each prospect. I also don't think he's saying that The Plan is a rigid process without any subjective evaluation going on. He's saying that "The team has sucked for 5 years now, and we're all sick of watching bad players" is NOT a good reason to deviate from your minor league development plan.

I agree with that, but it seems like sort of a strawman. I don't think that's why most people think Bryant can safely be promoted at this point.

I think most people have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, including everybody (except maybe Len Kasper. Hi, Len!) who reads this messageboard. But lots of people are clamoring for the prospects to speed up for just that very reason.

It seems to me that you want to hasten his advancement to AAA based on his AA numbers and not much else. I'm saying, if they have a reason for not doing that right ass now, it's probably a good one and they're not just trolling you.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2014, 12:33:48 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 11:27:01 AM
It seems to me that you want to hasten his advancement to AAA based on his AA numbers and not much else.

That's true. I guess I'm only forming my opinion from his Ruthian results as opposed to
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 04, 2014, 12:40:45 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 12:33:48 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 04, 2014, 11:27:01 AM
It seems to me that you want to hasten his advancement to AAA based on his AA numbers and not much else.

That's true. I guess I'm only forming my opinion from his Ruthian results as opposed to

...his dreamy eyes? His penchant for healing sick kittens?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 04, 2014, 05:02:28 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.

Hey ... wait a minute ...

Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 13, 2014, 02:52:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 13, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Take THAT, 17 year old Josh Vitters! (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=32035779)

FAKE.  That video is clearly from the 1980s.

I was only off by a few years.

Quote2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

IT'S REDNECK COORS FIELD, BRYANT ACTUALLY SUCKS, THE CUBS BE DOOMED, DAMN IT JEPSTINK
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 05:15:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 04, 2014, 05:02:28 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.

Hey ... wait a minute ...

Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 13, 2014, 02:52:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 13, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Take THAT, 17 year old Josh Vitters! (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=32035779)

FAKE.  That video is clearly from the 1980s.

I was only off by a few years.

Quote2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

IT'S REDNECK COORS FIELD, BRYANT ACTUALLY SUCKS, THE CUBS BE DOOMED, DAMN IT JEPSTINK

I wasn't saying the highlight was fake, they're real (and they're spectacular), but CRANE KENNY SHOULD CLEARLY GET SOME GRAPHICS DOWN TO THE MINORS TO MEND THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS BROKEN HEARTS

As to comment 2, I just find it a bit odd when the announcer said "he hit it like 340" and then realized thats just a long somewhat loud out at Wrigley.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 04, 2014, 05:59:11 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 05:15:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 04, 2014, 05:02:28 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.

Hey ... wait a minute ...

Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 13, 2014, 02:52:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 13, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Take THAT, 17 year old Josh Vitters! (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=32035779)

FAKE.  That video is clearly from the 1980s.

I was only off by a few years.

Quote2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

IT'S REDNECK COORS FIELD, BRYANT ACTUALLY SUCKS, THE CUBS BE DOOMED, DAMN IT JEPSTINK

I wasn't saying the highlight was fake, they're real (and they're spectacular), but CRANE KENNY SHOULD CLEARLY GET SOME GRAPHICS DOWN TO THE MINORS TO MEND THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS BROKEN HEARTS

As to comment 2, I just find it a bit odd when the announcer said "he hit it like 340" and then realized thats just a long somewhat loud out at Wrigley.

Finally, a reason to hate Crane Kenny!  Bless you, Hawk.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 04, 2014, 05:59:46 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2014, 09:53:11 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 04, 2014, 09:45:43 AM
Just take a moment here to realize that the Chicago Cubs currently have more prospects than positions.

I don't know why, but this reminds me of Gil's "60% of the way to first base line."

I'm mis-assigning a metric, I'm simply stating there are more than one prospect per position in the system, everywhere but catcher. Which is where a good team wants to be, and the Cubs never are.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 05, 2014, 12:00:11 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?

I said somthing of a bandbox, but it is quite a bit more snugh than the 355 to the lines at ye ole friendly confines.

In looking at the other cubs minor league parks dimensions, West Tenn the same as Boise, five feet down the lines shorter than Iowa and Kane County and 13 feet longer to left (!) and 5 feet longer to right than Daytonna (all the parks are 400 feet to center).

I dont know if it means anything (and it probably doesnt) but if I generally managed a franchise I would want as few variables between my minor league and major league facilities (although I imagine (hope?) that the Cubs use park adjusted stats).  I also find it mildly interesting that the dimensions for the Cubs spring park went from 340/410/350 at HoHoKam to 360/410/360 at the new place.


Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 05, 2014, 01:13:53 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?

The Great American Ballpark is 325/328 down the lines, so... basically, yeah.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 05, 2014, 01:21:49 PM
Quote from: Tonker on June 05, 2014, 01:13:53 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?

The Great American Ballpark is 325/328 down the lines, so... basically, yeah.

Busch Stadium
(http://www.baseball-almanac.com/stadium/busch_stadium.gif)

PNC Park (Pirates)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZU13W2MJmMM/TdZ2fEXDpFI/AAAAAAAAAtk/II24b32gYjk/s1600/pnc-park-dimensions.gif)

Citizens Bank (Phillies)
(http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/clubhouses/stadiums/phi.gif)

Tropicana (Rays)
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wId7mxlQdao/TlKhYB_QpzI/AAAAAAAAAyg/fLBn96cEu1Q/s1600/tropicana-field-dimensions.gif)

Yankee Stadium
(http://www.baseball-almanac.com/stadium/yankee_stadium.gif)

etc. etc. etc.

I'm not worried about Kris Bryant's power translating because of stadium dimensions.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 05, 2014, 01:29:44 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 05, 2014, 01:21:49 PM
Quote from: Tonker on June 05, 2014, 01:13:53 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?

The Great American Ballpark is 325/328 down the lines, so... basically, yeah.

Busch Stadium
(http://www.baseball-almanac.com/stadium/busch_stadium.gif)

PNC Park (Pirates)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZU13W2MJmMM/TdZ2fEXDpFI/AAAAAAAAAtk/II24b32gYjk/s1600/pnc-park-dimensions.gif)

Citizens Bank (Phillies)
(http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/clubhouses/stadiums/phi.gif)

Tropicana (Rays)
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wId7mxlQdao/TlKhYB_QpzI/AAAAAAAAAyg/fLBn96cEu1Q/s1600/tropicana-field-dimensions.gif)

Yankee Stadium
(http://www.baseball-almanac.com/stadium/yankee_stadium.gif)

etc. etc. etc.

I'm not worried about Kris Bryant's power translating because of stadium dimensions.

Tropicana is such a shithole.  /time to post
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 05, 2014, 01:32:28 PM
Quote from: Tonker on June 05, 2014, 01:13:53 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?

The Great American Ballpark is 325/328 down the lines, so... basically, yeah.

I always figured the designation of "bandbox" was more based on the distance to the power alleys, not down the line.

Fenway's 302 down the RF line, but a shit ton more to the right-center power alley.  Typically, people point out that Fenway is not as favorable to LH hitters than RH hitters as a result of this.  They don't point  to the distance down the line as a measure of the park's hitter-friendliness--they point  to the power alleys.

Wrigley's considered a pretty decent hitter's park since the power alleys are relatively short.  Down the line, though, Wrigley's one of the furthest (you'll notice that the wall goes "back" toward the foul poles to; likely to compensate for the short  power alleys).  Again, people don't generally point to the distance down the lines so much as the power alleys in establishing how hitter-firiendly a park is...at least that's what I always thought.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 05, 2014, 04:07:07 PM
325 is the required minimum distance (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/official_rules/objectives_1.jsp) down the lines in major league ballparks built after 1958, though a number of exceptions have been made (http://www.closecallsports.com/2012/06/rule-104-note-minimum-field-dimensions.html).

And 330 is the median and mode distance to both foul poles...

Stadium                   LF      RF
Fenway Park              310     302
AT&T Park                339     309
Yankee Stadium           318     314
Minute Maid Park         315     326
Tropicana Field          315     322
Oriole Park              333     318
PNC Park                 325     320
Petco Park               334     322
Great American Ballpark  328     325
Progressive Field        325     325
Safeco Field             331     326
Target Field             339     328
Rogers Centre            328     328
Citizens Bank Park       329     330
Chase Field              330     335
Turner Field             335     330
U.S. Cellular Field      335     330
Comerica Park            345     330
Kauffman Stadium         330     330
Angel  Stadium           330     330
Dodger Stadium           330     330
Citi Field               335     330
O.co Coliseum            330     330
Globe Life Park          330     330
Marlins Park             344     335
Busch Stadium III        335     335
Nationals Park           337     335
Miller Park              344     345
Coors Field              347     350
Wrigley Field            355     353


(Pulled pre-2008 dimensions pulled from here (http://www.andrewclem.com/Baseball/Dimensions.html), the rest taken from Wikipedia.)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 05, 2014, 04:20:53 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 05, 2014, 04:07:07 PM
325 is the required minimum distance (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/official_rules/objectives_1.jsp) down the lines in major league ballparks built after 1958, though a number of exceptions have been made (http://www.closecallsports.com/2012/06/rule-104-note-minimum-field-dimensions.html).

And 330 is the median and mode distance to both foul poles...

Stadium                   LF      RF
Fenway Park              310     302
AT&T Park                339     309
Yankee Stadium           318     314
Minute Maid Park         315     326
Tropicana Field          315     322
Oriole Park              333     318
PNC Park                 325     320
Petco Park               334     322
Great American Ballpark  328     325
Progressive Field        325     325
Safeco Field             331     326
Target Field             339     328
Rogers Centre            328     328
Citizens Bank Park       329     330
Chase Field              330     335
Turner Field             335     330
U.S. Cellular Field      335     330
Comerica Park            345     330
Kauffman Stadium         330     330
Angel  Stadium           330     330
Dodger Stadium           330     330
Citi Field               335     330
O.co Coliseum            330     330
Globe Life Park          330     330
Marlins Park             344     335
Busch Stadium III        335     335
Nationals Park           337     335
Miller Park              344     345
Coors Field              347     350
Wrigley Field            355     353


(Pulled pre-2008 dimensions pulled from here (http://www.andrewclem.com/Baseball/Dimensions.html), the rest taken from Wikipedia.)

So according to Tonker every mlb park besides Wrigley, Coors, Miller, Nationals, Busch, and Marlins are bandboxes.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 05, 2014, 04:28:32 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 04:20:53 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 05, 2014, 04:07:07 PM
325 is the required minimum distance (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/official_rules/objectives_1.jsp) down the lines in major league ballparks built after 1958, though a number of exceptions have been made (http://www.closecallsports.com/2012/06/rule-104-note-minimum-field-dimensions.html).

And 330 is the median and mode distance to both foul poles...

Stadium                   LF      RF
Fenway Park              310     302
AT&T Park                339     309
Yankee Stadium           318     314
Minute Maid Park         315     326
Tropicana Field          315     322
Oriole Park              333     318
PNC Park                 325     320
Petco Park               334     322
Great American Ballpark  328     325
Progressive Field        325     325
Safeco Field             331     326
Target Field             339     328
Rogers Centre            328     328
Citizens Bank Park       329     330
Chase Field              330     335
Turner Field             335     330
U.S. Cellular Field      335     330
Comerica Park            345     330
Kauffman Stadium         330     330
Angel  Stadium           330     330
Dodger Stadium           330     330
Citi Field               335     330
O.co Coliseum            330     330
Globe Life Park          330     330
Marlins Park             344     335
Busch Stadium III        335     335
Nationals Park           337     335
Miller Park              344     345
Coors Field              347     350
Wrigley Field            355     353


(Pulled pre-2008 dimensions pulled from here (http://www.andrewclem.com/Baseball/Dimensions.html), the rest taken from Wikipedia.)

So according to Tonker every mlb park besides Wrigley, Coors, Miller, Nationals, Busch, and Marlins are bandboxes.

I assume Tonk was talking about kilometers or hectares or something.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 05, 2014, 05:04:49 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 04:20:53 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 05, 2014, 04:07:07 PM
325 is the required minimum distance (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/official_rules/objectives_1.jsp) down the lines in major league ballparks built after 1958, though a number of exceptions have been made (http://www.closecallsports.com/2012/06/rule-104-note-minimum-field-dimensions.html).

And 330 is the median and mode distance to both foul poles...

Stadium                   LF      RF
Fenway Park              310     302
AT&T Park                339     309
Yankee Stadium           318     314
Minute Maid Park         315     326
Tropicana Field          315     322
Oriole Park              333     318
PNC Park                 325     320
Petco Park               334     322
Great American Ballpark  328     325
Progressive Field        325     325
Safeco Field             331     326
Target Field             339     328
Rogers Centre            328     328
Citizens Bank Park       329     330
Chase Field              330     335
Turner Field             335     330
U.S. Cellular Field      335     330
Comerica Park            345     330
Kauffman Stadium         330     330
Angel  Stadium           330     330
Dodger Stadium           330     330
Citi Field               335     330
O.co Coliseum            330     330
Globe Life Park          330     330
Marlins Park             344     335
Busch Stadium III        335     335
Nationals Park           337     335
Miller Park              344     345
Coors Field              347     350
Wrigley Field            355     353


(Pulled pre-2008 dimensions pulled from here (http://www.andrewclem.com/Baseball/Dimensions.html), the rest taken from Wikipedia.)

So according to Tonker every mlb park besides Wrigley, Coors, Miller, Nationals, Busch, and Marlins are bandboxes.

And maybe Comerica, too.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 05, 2014, 05:09:31 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 05, 2014, 01:29:44 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 05, 2014, 01:21:49 PM
Quote from: Tonker on June 05, 2014, 01:13:53 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 12:58:02 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 04, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Could someone get the Tennessee Smokies a character generator that wasn't from an Atari 2600?  It's like watching highlights from 1977.
2.  Smokies park is a bit of a bandbox at 330 down the lines. 

330 down the lines indicates a "bandbox"?

The Great American Ballpark is 325/328 down the lines, so... basically, yeah.

Busch Stadium
(http://www.baseball-almanac.com/stadium/busch_stadium.gif)

PNC Park (Pirates)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZU13W2MJmMM/TdZ2fEXDpFI/AAAAAAAAAtk/II24b32gYjk/s1600/pnc-park-dimensions.gif)

Citizens Bank (Phillies)
(http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/clubhouses/stadiums/phi.gif)

Tropicana (Rays)
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wId7mxlQdao/TlKhYB_QpzI/AAAAAAAAAyg/fLBn96cEu1Q/s1600/tropicana-field-dimensions.gif)

Yankee Stadium
(http://www.baseball-almanac.com/stadium/yankee_stadium.gif)

etc. etc. etc.

I'm not worried about Kris Bryant's power translating because of stadium dimensions.

Tropicana is such a shithole.  /time to post

They couldn't even be bothered to draw it to scale.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 06, 2014, 01:25:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 05, 2014, 04:20:53 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 05, 2014, 04:07:07 PM
325 is the required minimum distance (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/official_rules/objectives_1.jsp) down the lines in major league ballparks built after 1958, though a number of exceptions have been made (http://www.closecallsports.com/2012/06/rule-104-note-minimum-field-dimensions.html).

And 330 is the median and mode distance to both foul poles...

Stadium                   LF      RF
Fenway Park              310     302
AT&T Park                339     309
Yankee Stadium           318     314
Minute Maid Park         315     326
Tropicana Field          315     322
Oriole Park              333     318
PNC Park                 325     320
Petco Park               334     322
Great American Ballpark  328     325
Progressive Field        325     325
Safeco Field             331     326
Target Field             339     328
Rogers Centre            328     328
Citizens Bank Park       329     330
Chase Field              330     335
Turner Field             335     330
U.S. Cellular Field      335     330
Comerica Park            345     330
Kauffman Stadium         330     330
Angel  Stadium           330     330
Dodger Stadium           330     330
Citi Field               335     330
O.co Coliseum            330     330
Globe Life Park          330     330
Marlins Park             344     335
Busch Stadium III        335     335
Nationals Park           337     335
Miller Park              344     345
Coors Field              347     350
Wrigley Field            355     353


(Pulled pre-2008 dimensions pulled from here (http://www.andrewclem.com/Baseball/Dimensions.html), the rest taken from Wikipedia.)

So according to Tonker every mlb park besides Wrigley, Coors, Miller, Nationals, Busch, and Marlins are bandboxes.

Ha ha, no.  You've misunderstood.  According to me, you can all kiss my arse.  That's what I meant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 09, 2014, 07:40:42 AM
http://www.bleachernation.com/2014/06/09/the-best-part-of-waking-up-a-kris-bryant-homer-in-your-face/ (http://www.bleachernation.com/2014/06/09/the-best-part-of-waking-up-a-kris-bryant-homer-in-your-face/)

.356/.461/.716.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 09, 2014, 10:05:36 PM
Right now the Cubs are the shitty minor league team in major league uniforms you can feel good about calling your top prospect (http://m.mlb.com/news/article/2014060978987598/) up to face. That's why watching Bryant and Baez launch six dongs (each) against the Cardinals at Busch per game will be so sweet.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 10, 2014, 07:25:01 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

This is really incredible.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against [utl=http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb]teeing it up for him[/url] like this.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.

Properly teed up'd.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 10, 2014, 11:45:42 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Just buy one for every number, just in case. Problem solved. As soon as he picks #17 or whatever you'll be the only true fan around.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 10, 2014, 12:26:30 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

that train left the station, Hoss.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 10, 2014, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie

Don Zimmer wore #4, I thought.

And didn't Almalfitano wear #5?

Where the HELL'S AL'S FRIEND KASEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 10, 2014, 12:40:03 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie Mike Fontenot
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 01:37:19 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie

Don Zimmer wore #4, I thought.

And didn't Almalfitano wear #5?

Where the HELL'S AL'S FRIEND KASEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!

  I think right here (where I got the information) (http://www.cubsbythenumbers.com/cubs-all-time.html#no17)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 10, 2014, 01:40:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 01:37:19 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie

Don Zimmer wore #4, I thought.

And didn't Almalfitano wear #5?

Where the HELL'S AL'S FRIEND KASEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!

  I think right here (where I got the information) (http://www.cubsbythenumbers.com/cubs-all-time.html#no17)

Cubs Legend Adam Greenberg
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 04:15:52 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 10, 2014, 01:40:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 01:37:19 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie

Don Zimmer wore #4, I thought.

And didn't Almalfitano wear #5?

Where the HELL'S AL'S FRIEND KASEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!

  I think right here (where I got the information) (http://www.cubsbythenumbers.com/cubs-all-time.html#no17)

Cubs Legend Adam  Moonlight Greenberg

fixed that for you
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 10, 2014, 04:20:02 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 04:15:52 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 10, 2014, 01:40:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 01:37:19 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie

Don Zimmer wore #4, I thought.

And didn't Almalfitano wear #5?

Where the HELL'S AL'S FRIEND KASEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!

  I think right here (where I got the information) (http://www.cubsbythenumbers.com/cubs-all-time.html#no17)

Cubs Legend Adam  Moonlight Greenberg

fixed that for you

Until the Marlins fucked that up
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 10, 2014, 04:52:16 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 10, 2014, 04:20:02 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 04:15:52 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 10, 2014, 01:40:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 01:37:19 PM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:45:34 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 10, 2014, 11:35:29 AM
Quote from: thehawk on June 10, 2014, 11:31:13 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 10, 2014, 08:25:57 AM
Quote from: Fork on June 10, 2014, 08:17:51 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 09, 2014, 09:46:30 PM
Home run No. 22. He might as well be in Little League at this point.

Kudos, I guess, to Southern League teams for continuing to pitch to him.

But I'd probably recommend against teeing it up for him (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33587763&sid=milb) like this.



Properly teed up'd.

I feel like I should beat the rush and buy my Kris Bryant shirsey right now.


I feel like waiting until he has a uniform number so I don't look like a total jag later.

Well he wears 17 now, and I don't imagine Brandon Hyde standing in his way, nor do I see the Cubs retiring the number for Don Zimmer, Joey Amalfitano, Mark Grace or Felix Pie

Don Zimmer wore #4, I thought.

And didn't Almalfitano wear #5?

Where the HELL'S AL'S FRIEND KASEY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!?!

  I think right here (where I got the information) (http://www.cubsbythenumbers.com/cubs-all-time.html#no17)

Cubs Legend Adam  Moonlight Greenberg

fixed that for you

Until the Marlins fucked that up

Right.  Now that prideless charity-taker is like a gazillion other non-unique washouts.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 12, 2014, 08:47:14 AM
Another 2-4 night. No homers this time, though. He's probably going to die, I bet.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on June 12, 2014, 11:40:13 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 12, 2014, 08:47:14 AM
Another 2-4 night. No homers this time, though. He's probably going to die, I bet.

He's already dead. That's why he was only able to get 2 regular boring hits.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant? Valbuena can play second, Bryant can play third, My Colt can strike out for the pitcher in the sixth or seventh inning, Barney can spit sunflower seeds in the dugout, and when Emilio gets back, he can play center, Bryant can stay at third, Valbuena can stay at second and Darwin Barney Chevy-Buick-GMC-Kia can open somewhere in Oregon.

When we determine Bryant can't play third, you shift him to right with Steve Lake's boy in left and Bonifacio in center, put Valbuena at third and put Baez in the middle of the infield. So here you have it:

Bonifacio  cf
Valbuena  3b
Bryant     rf
Rizzo       1b
Baez        2b
Castro     ss
Lake        lf
The guy whose name you really can't spill out now but will come to you in 2036 when you're in some trivia contest and a question about HOF inductee Kyle Schwarber comes up      c

Olt: for the days you need a designated hitter
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant?

Intrepid Reader: David Haugh

Because obviously he needs not quite 40 games at AAA to reduce his errors—13 are too many—and strikeouts. (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-06-11/sports/ct-kris-bryant-cubs-haugh-spt-0612-20140612_1_kris-bryant-the-cubs-way-theo-epstein)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 10:57:52 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant?

Intrepid Reader: David Haugh

Because obviously he needs not quite 40 games at AAA to reduce his errors—13 are too many—and strikeouts. (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-06-11/sports/ct-kris-bryant-cubs-haugh-spt-0612-20140612_1_kris-bryant-the-cubs-way-theo-epstein)

QuoteIf Bryant stays in Tennessee much longer, they will write country-music songs about him.

Sure.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:06:48 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 10:57:52 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant?

Intrepid Reader: David Haugh

Because obviously he needs not quite 40 games at AAA to reduce his errors—13 are too many—and strikeouts. (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-06-11/sports/ct-kris-bryant-cubs-haugh-spt-0612-20140612_1_kris-bryant-the-cubs-way-theo-epstein)

QuoteIf Bryant stays in Tennessee much longer, they will write country-music songs about him.

Sure.

It's remarkable how someone can make a couple good points wrapped up in such a horrible article.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:06:48 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 10:57:52 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant?

Intrepid Reader: David Haugh

Because obviously he needs not quite 40 games at AAA to reduce his errors—13 are too many—and strikeouts. (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-06-11/sports/ct-kris-bryant-cubs-haugh-spt-0612-20140612_1_kris-bryant-the-cubs-way-theo-epstein)

QuoteIf Bryant stays in Tennessee much longer, they will write country-music songs about him.

Sure.

It's remarkable how someone can make a couple good points wrapped up in such a horrible article.


I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 11:26:34 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:06:48 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 10:57:52 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant?

Intrepid Reader: David Haugh

Because obviously he needs not quite 40 games at AAA to reduce his errors—13 are too many—and strikeouts. (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-06-11/sports/ct-kris-bryant-cubs-haugh-spt-0612-20140612_1_kris-bryant-the-cubs-way-theo-epstein)

QuoteIf Bryant stays in Tennessee much longer, they will write country-music songs about him.

Sure.

It's remarkable how someone can make a couple good points wrapped up in such a horrible article.


I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.

It's probably the only tall, nice-looking white third-baseman he's heard of that's worth a shit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:31:50 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 11:26:34 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:06:48 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 10:57:52 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant?

Intrepid Reader: David Haugh

Because obviously he needs not quite 40 games at AAA to reduce his errors—13 are too many—and strikeouts. (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-06-11/sports/ct-kris-bryant-cubs-haugh-spt-0612-20140612_1_kris-bryant-the-cubs-way-theo-epstein)

QuoteIf Bryant stays in Tennessee much longer, they will write country-music songs about him.

Sure.

It's remarkable how someone can make a couple good points wrapped up in such a horrible article.


I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.

It's probably the only tall, nice-looking white third-baseman he's heard of that's worth a shit.

(http://oi44.tinypic.com/2iav37l.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 11:35:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.

No, Chipper doesn't make a lot of sense. I've heard Troy Glaus mentioned a few times, which is probably more statistically apt (and reasonable) from a BA/OBP/K%/power perspective. Maybe Glaus isn't white enough?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 11:35:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.

No, Chipper doesn't make a lot of sense. I've heard Troy Glaus mentioned a few times, which is probably more statistically apt (and reasonable) from a BA/OBP/K%/power perspective. Maybe Glaus isn't white enough?

If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 11:51:57 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 11:35:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.

No, Chipper doesn't make a lot of sense. I've heard Troy Glaus mentioned a few times, which is probably more statistically apt (and reasonable) from a BA/OBP/K%/power perspective. Maybe Glaus isn't white enough?

If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

No. I'm sticking with anybody other than that fuckface Schmidt. I'll comp him to Steve Buschele before I soil him like that in my mind. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:59:35 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 11:51:57 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 11:35:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 11:10:24 AM
I stopped at the Chipper Jones line. I mean, I'll be thrilled if Bryant turns out to be even that successful...but has anyone compared Bryant to Chipper? Bryant's not a switch hitter or anything. Is...there something I'm missing there? It just seems an odd choice.

No, Chipper doesn't make a lot of sense. I've heard Troy Glaus mentioned a few times, which is probably more statistically apt (and reasonable) from a BA/OBP/K%/power perspective. Maybe Glaus isn't white enough?

If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

No. I'm sticking with anybody other than that fuckface Schmidt. I'll comp him to Steve Buschele before I soil him like that in my mind. 

This feels rational.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:10:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

Are the only options to comp Bryant to upper-tier Hall of Famers? It wasn't a knock. Glaus was really good; he just had trouble staying healthy.

And I think given his strikeout numbers, Bryant will probably be closer to a .250 hitter than than .300 hitter Chipper was. Again, not a knock, since he projects to walk a lot and (obviously) produce tons of power.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 13, 2014, 12:14:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:10:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

Are the only options to comp Bryant to upper-tier Hall of Famers? It wasn't a knock. Glaus was really good; he just had trouble staying healthy.

And I think given his strikeout numbers, Bryant will probably be closer to a .250 hitter than than .300 hitter Chipper was. Again, not a knock, since he projects to walk a lot and (obviously) produce tons of power.

Christ is Baez even going to crack the Mendoza line, then?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on June 13, 2014, 12:23:31 PM
I thought Bryant was the next Braun. Isn't that the comp that was settled on?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:25:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 12:14:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:10:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

Are the only options to comp Bryant to upper-tier Hall of Famers? It wasn't a knock. Glaus was really good; he just had trouble staying healthy.

And I think given his strikeout numbers, Bryant will probably be closer to a .250 hitter than than .300 hitter Chipper was. Again, not a knock, since he projects to walk a lot and (obviously) produce tons of power.

Christ is Baez even going to crack the Mendoza line, then?

Sure. He projects to be in that same range. Again, we're talking about batting average here, which isn't all that important on its own.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 13, 2014, 12:34:51 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:25:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 12:14:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:10:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

Are the only options to comp Bryant to upper-tier Hall of Famers? It wasn't a knock. Glaus was really good; he just had trouble staying healthy.

And I think given his strikeout numbers, Bryant will probably be closer to a .250 hitter than than .300 hitter Chipper was. Again, not a knock, since he projects to walk a lot and (obviously) produce tons of power.

Christ is Baez even going to crack the Mendoza line, then?

Sure. He projects to be in that same range. Again, we're talking about batting average here, which isn't all that important on its own.

Yeah but if..like, a guy who is hitting .351 in the minors projects as a .250 big league hitter...that still kinda bums me out.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:40:48 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 12:34:51 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:25:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 12:14:16 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:10:51 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 11:47:52 AM
If we're only projecting Bryant to hit in the .250s in the pros, I'd prefer we comp him to Mike Schmidt than Troy fucking Glaus.

Are the only options to comp Bryant to upper-tier Hall of Famers? It wasn't a knock. Glaus was really good; he just had trouble staying healthy.

And I think given his strikeout numbers, Bryant will probably be closer to a .250 hitter than than .300 hitter Chipper was. Again, not a knock, since he projects to walk a lot and (obviously) produce tons of power.

Christ is Baez even going to crack the Mendoza line, then?

Sure. He projects to be in that same range. Again, we're talking about batting average here, which isn't all that important on its own.

Yeah but if..like, a guy who is hitting .351 in the minors projects as a .250 big league hitter...that still kinda bums me out.

I said "closer to" .250 than .300. So, say .274 if it makes you feel better. The list of guys who regularly hit .300, don't strike out often and still put up big slugging numbers is ... very small. In fact, from the last 15 years, this is it. (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=2000&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17214&players=)

Of course, you can play around with the filters a bit. But the original point, I think, is that Chipper Jones was really, really good?

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:45:07 PM
Also, just for fun (for me), using those same filters, I tried to find someone who had a K rate above 20%, slugged over .500 and still hit .300. Since 1900, there's exactly one guy (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17215&players=) who's done that. Amazing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 12:49:27 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:45:07 PM
Also, just for fun (for me), using those same filters, I tried to find someone who had a K rate above 20%, slugged over .500 and still hit .300. Since 1900, there's exactly one guy (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17215&players=) who's done that. Amazing.

So both Schwarber AND Bryant are Trout?

Everthing's coming up not-Eli!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 13, 2014, 12:52:32 PM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM

Olt: for the days you need a designated hitter


...to bat ninth, strike out four times, and blast a 430 foot homer.

Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:45:07 PM
Also, just for fun (for me), using those same filters, I tried to find someone who had a K rate above 20%, slugged over .500 and still hit .300. Since 1900, there's exactly one guy (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17215&players=) who's done that. Amazing.

This is absolutely staggering:

QuoteBABIP: .364

I admit it, I took a break from not caring about the Sox to enjoy Trout's game-tying grand slam (https://vine.co/v/MDtADzAIH5r).  Best part was he worked it back to full after being down 0-2.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 13, 2014, 12:56:34 PM
Quote from: Tony on June 13, 2014, 12:23:31 PM
I thought Bryant was the next Braun. Isn't that the comp that was settled on?

Yup. Eli promised us.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 01:08:45 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 12:49:27 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:45:07 PM
Also, just for fun (for me), using those same filters, I tried to find someone who had a K rate above 20%, slugged over .500 and still hit .300. Since 1900, there's exactly one guy (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17215&players=) who's done that. Amazing.

So both Schwarber AND Bryant are Trout?

Everthing's coming up not-Eli!

That doesn't make any sense. Why would that be not-Eli? Your meme is falling apart, man.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on June 13, 2014, 01:11:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 01:08:45 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 12:49:27 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:45:07 PM
Also, just for fun (for me), using those same filters, I tried to find someone who had a K rate above 20%, slugged over .500 and still hit .300. Since 1900, there's exactly one guy (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17215&players=) who's done that. Amazing.

So both Schwarber AND Bryant are Trout?

Everthing's coming up not-Eli!

That doesn't make any sense. Why would that be not-Eli? Your meme is falling apart, man.

Pen being terrible at memes is actually its own meme.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.

Still plenty of great players (many arguably transcendent) on this list (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17226&players=) of high-K, high-SLG, decent-OBP players. Especially factoring that offense is pretty suppressed now, a theoretical .260/.340/.500 guy is incredibly valuable. I think that's realistic for Bryant with a good chance for even better.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 13, 2014, 02:17:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.

Still plenty of great players (many arguably transcendent) on this list (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17226&players=) of high-K, high-SLG, decent-OBP players. Especially factoring that offense is pretty suppressed now, a theoretical .260/.340/.500 guy is incredibly valuable. I think that's realistic for Bryant with a good chance for even better.

I can't even hope for a .900 OPS out of Bryant? GODDAMMIT, ELI
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 02:24:30 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 02:17:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.

Still plenty of great players (many arguably transcendent) on this list (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17226&players=) of high-K, high-SLG, decent-OBP players. Especially factoring that offense is pretty suppressed now, a theoretical .260/.340/.500 guy is incredibly valuable. I think that's realistic for Bryant with a good chance for even better.

I can't even hope for a .900 OPS out of Bryant? GODDAMMIT, ELI

Yeah, is that an .840 career OPS or the average of his most productive seasons? Career .840 is pretty fucking spectacular.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:35:20 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 02:24:30 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 02:17:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.

Still plenty of great players (many arguably transcendent) on this list (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17226&players=) of high-K, high-SLG, decent-OBP players. Especially factoring that offense is pretty suppressed now, a theoretical .260/.340/.500 guy is incredibly valuable. I think that's realistic for Bryant with a good chance for even better.

I can't even hope for a .900 OPS out of Bryant? GODDAMMIT, ELI

Yeah, is that an .840 career OPS or the average of his most productive seasons? Career .840 is pretty fucking spectacular.

That was career. I'TS GONNA
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 02:59:37 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 01:08:45 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 12:49:27 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 12:45:07 PM
Also, just for fun (for me), using those same filters, I tried to find someone who had a K rate above 20%, slugged over .500 and still hit .300. Since 1900, there's exactly one guy (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17215&players=) who's done that. Amazing.

So both Schwarber AND Bryant are Trout?

Everthing's coming up not-Eli!

That doesn't make any sense. Why would that be not-Eli? Your meme is falling apart, man.

You see, it's non-Eli because Mike Trout is actually really great at baseball and you want these guys to be crappy so you can be right about Epstink being terrible.

Which they wouldn't be if they keep comping to Trout.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 02:59:54 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:35:20 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 02:24:30 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 02:17:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.

Still plenty of great players (many arguably transcendent) on this list (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17226&players=) of high-K, high-SLG, decent-OBP players. Especially factoring that offense is pretty suppressed now, a theoretical .260/.340/.500 guy is incredibly valuable. I think that's realistic for Bryant with a good chance for even better.

I can't even hope for a .900 OPS out of Bryant? GODDAMMIT, ELI

Yeah, is that an .840 career OPS or the average of his most productive seasons? Career .840 is pretty fucking spectacular.

That was career. I'TS GONNA

They grow fucking spectacular on trees now?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 13, 2014, 03:06:54 PM
Quote from: Brownie on June 13, 2014, 10:41:29 AM
If BONERFACE is headed to the DL, why not call up Bryant? Valbuena can play second, Bryant can play third, My Colt can strike out for the pitcher in the sixth or seventh inning, Barney can spit sunflower seeds in the dugout, and when Emilio gets back, he can play center, Bryant can stay at third, Valbuena can stay at second and Darwin Barney Chevy-Buick-GMC-Kia can open somewhere in Oregon.

When we determine Bryant can't play third, you shift him to right with Steve Lake's boy in left and Bonifacio in center, put Valbuena at third and put Baez in the middle of the infield. So here you have it:

Bonifacio  cf
Valbuena  3b
Bryant     rf
Rizzo       1b
Baez        2b
Castro     ss
Lake        lf
The guy whose name you really can't spill out now but will come to you in 2036 when you're in some trivia contest and a question about HOF inductee Kyle Schwarber comes up      c

Olt: for the days you need a designated hitter


Dream = crushed.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/764/2156569280.png)

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 03:09:00 PM
Except Sweeney is going to be hurt in a week.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 03:11:14 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 13, 2014, 02:59:54 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:35:20 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 13, 2014, 02:24:30 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 13, 2014, 02:17:52 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 13, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 13, 2014, 01:28:24 PM
I'm with SKO in that it's still kind of sad knowing that Bryant's perceived ceiling might be a power hitter who hits in the mid 200s. Like, he's obviously tearing up AA but knowing that there's nothing that can guarantee he's going to be able to put up Triple Crown like numbers stinks.

Even if it's more realistic to assume he's going to be very good instead of transcendent I'm still hoping for transcendent.

Still plenty of great players (many arguably transcendent) on this list (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2014&month=0&season1=1900&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=&filter=17226&players=) of high-K, high-SLG, decent-OBP players. Especially factoring that offense is pretty suppressed now, a theoretical .260/.340/.500 guy is incredibly valuable. I think that's realistic for Bryant with a good chance for even better.

I can't even hope for a .900 OPS out of Bryant? GODDAMMIT, ELI

Yeah, is that an .840 career OPS or the average of his most productive seasons? Career .840 is pretty fucking spectacular.

That was career. I'TS GONNA

They grow fucking spectacular on trees now?

It's not all that fucking spectacular but I'll take it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 07:14:58 AM
Kyle Schwarber is 7-11 with 2 HR's, 8 RBI and 1/1 BB/K through is first three pro games.

IT'S GONNA round 2?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 16, 2014, 07:48:50 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 07:14:58 AM
Kyle Schwarber is 7-11 with 2 HR's, 8 RBI and 1/1 BB/K through is first three pro games.

IT'S GONNA round 2?

What thread is this?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tinker to Evers to Chance on June 16, 2014, 08:02:08 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 16, 2014, 07:48:50 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 07:14:58 AM
Kyle Schwarber is 7-11 with 2 HR's, 8 RBI and 1/1 BB/K through is first three pro games.

IT'S GONNA round 2?

What thread is this?

MODS!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 16, 2014, 08:03:01 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 16, 2014, 07:48:50 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 07:14:58 AM
Kyle Schwarber is 7-11 with 2 HR's, 8 RBI and 1/1 BB/K through is first three pro games.

IT'S GONNA round 2?

What thread is this?

As Desipio thread-hijacks go, this is way, way, WAY down the list.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 16, 2014, 08:53:58 AM
To get back on track, Southern League All-Star game is tomorrow night. Wonder if Bryant has his bags packed for Iowa already.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 16, 2014, 03:10:09 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Unless the Cubs want him to spend a little extra time in the sticks getting his K rate down. Or maybe let him get a few games in left field, if they can stand to let The Great Josh Vitters pick splinters out of his ass while watching what could have been.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:31:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I hadn't thought of that yet. But I'm willing to hop on board with it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:47:19 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I'd be MUCH more worried about Javy Baez getting called up right now as opposed to Kris Bryant.

I will now duck and run for cover.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 16, 2014, 03:54:54 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:47:19 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I'd be MUCH more worried about Javy Baez getting called up right now as opposed to Kris Bryant.

I will now duck and run for cover.

I don't think you'll find anyone who disagrees with you, so you can come out of hiding now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:58:26 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 16, 2014, 03:54:54 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:47:19 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I'd be MUCH more worried about Javy Baez getting called up right now as opposed to Kris Bryant.

I will now duck and run for cover.

I don't think you'll find anyone who disagrees with you, so you can come out of hiding now.

You forget that IAN is THE Kris Bryant guy, Eli, and thus the lone voice in the wilderness willing to tell it like it is.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:59:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:58:26 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 16, 2014, 03:54:54 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:47:19 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I'd be MUCH more worried about Javy Baez getting called up right now as opposed to Kris Bryant.

I will now duck and run for cover.

I don't think you'll find anyone who disagrees with you, so you can come out of hiding now.

You forget that IAN is THE Kris Bryant guy, Eli, and thus the lone voice in the wilderness willing to tell it like it is.

Heavy lies the crown, man.












*I'm also THE Kyle Schwarber guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 04:11:05 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:59:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:58:26 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 16, 2014, 03:54:54 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:47:19 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I'd be MUCH more worried about Javy Baez getting called up right now as opposed to Kris Bryant.

I will now duck and run for cover.

I don't think you'll find anyone who disagrees with you, so you can come out of hiding now.

You forget that IAN is THE Kris Bryant guy, Eli, and thus the lone voice in the wilderness willing to tell it like it is.

Heavy lies the crown, man.












*I'm also THE Kyle Schwarber guy.

I would be the Schwarber guy if you hadn't called dibs. He and I both graduated from the same crappy university. But then again, I'm just not a big fan of short, fat white guys - except for Oleg before he grew six inches and turned Mexican.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 05:53:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 04:11:05 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:59:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:58:26 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 16, 2014, 03:54:54 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 16, 2014, 03:47:19 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 16, 2014, 03:09:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Are you just saying this so we can ignore Baez' AAA stats in favor of his AA stats? Because I'm cool with that, actually.

I'd be MUCH more worried about Javy Baez getting called up right now as opposed to Kris Bryant.

I will now duck and run for cover.

I don't think you'll find anyone who disagrees with you, so you can come out of hiding now.

You forget that IAN is THE Kris Bryant guy, Eli, and thus the lone voice in the wilderness willing to tell it like it is.

Heavy lies the crown, man.












*I'm also THE Kyle Schwarber guy.

I would be the Schwarber guy if you hadn't called dibs. He and I both graduated from the same crappy university. But then again, I'm just not a big fan of short, fat white guys - except for Oleg before he grew six inches and turned Mexican.

It's interesting strategy that usually pays off.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 17, 2014, 07:45:22 AM
DPD. Kris Bryant won the Southern League home run derby.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 17, 2014, 09:08:47 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 17, 2014, 07:45:22 AM
DPD. Kris Bryant won the Southern League home run derby.

Of course he did.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 17, 2014, 11:33:49 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 17, 2014, 09:08:47 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 17, 2014, 07:45:22 AM
DPD. Kris Bryant won the Southern League home run derby.

Of course he did.

BATTING PRACTICE KING
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 17, 2014, 02:09:43 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 17, 2014, 07:45:22 AM
DPD. Kris Bryant won the Southern League home run derby.

That's not all — the grass at the stadium was green, and there were people there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on June 18, 2014, 11:12:37 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

Looks like SKO going long on the Iowa meme is about to pay off.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on June 18, 2014, 11:13:43 AM
Quote from: CT III on June 18, 2014, 11:12:37 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

Looks like SKO going long on the Iowa meme is about to pay off.

But has anyone said anything about who's going to Kane County?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 18, 2014, 11:14:00 AM
Quote from: CT III on June 18, 2014, 11:12:37 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

Looks like SKO going long on the Iowa meme is about to pay off.

Kris Bryant, the Beltless Belter.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 18, 2014, 11:16:17 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

I have a boner.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 18, 2014, 12:33:32 PM
Quote from: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:46:28 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 12:33:32 PM
Quote from: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

I don't think BH was saying that Almora is awesome and you shut your damn pie hole if you think otherwise. I think he was saying that dismissing him entirely because he's having a bad year (which you're not doing) is bonkers.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 18, 2014, 01:39:08 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 12:33:32 PM
Quote from: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 18, 2014, 02:02:04 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 18, 2014, 01:39:08 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 12:33:32 PM
Quote from: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

Mariano Duncan? But he communicates with the latin players so well!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 18, 2014, 02:16:18 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 18, 2014, 02:02:04 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 18, 2014, 01:39:08 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 12:33:32 PM
Quote from: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

Mariano Duncan? But he communicates with the latin players so well!

Where's Rudy Jaramillo when you need him?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 18, 2014, 02:42:07 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 18, 2014, 02:16:18 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 18, 2014, 02:02:04 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 18, 2014, 01:39:08 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 12:33:32 PM
Quote from: R-V on June 18, 2014, 12:23:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 18, 2014, 11:52:44 AM
Quote from: BH on June 18, 2014, 11:47:31 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 11:09:36 AM
Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

Mariano Duncan? But he communicates with the latin players so well!

Where's Rudy Jaramillo when you need him?

That's BH's line.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 18, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 18, 2014, 03:14:55 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 18, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

Just like Baez.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 18, 2014, 04:16:47 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 03:14:55 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 18, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

Just like Baez.

Baez sucks now. And Almora is Doug Dascenzo.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 18, 2014, 04:19:13 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 18, 2014, 04:16:47 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 18, 2014, 03:14:55 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 18, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

Just like Baez.

Baez sucks now. And Almora is Doug Dascenzo.

Epstink is a nightmare from which we will  never awake.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 18, 2014, 04:21:34 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 18, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

I know the PCL has that reputation for being hitter friendly, but the entire Iowa team is hitting for shit this year.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/769/5421052932.png)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 18, 2014, 04:31:55 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 18, 2014, 04:21:34 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 18, 2014, 03:07:35 PM
Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

I know the PCL has that reputation for being hitter friendly, but the entire Iowa team is hitting for shit this year.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/769/5421052932.png)

Well, the AAA team is a bunch of old prospects that died. Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters, something called a Lars Anderson, Matt Szeurukafrurur. I could keep going, but you get the idea. This is not a roster of Kris Bryants and Kyle Schwarbers.






















Yet.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on June 18, 2014, 04:39:45 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 18, 2014, 04:31:55 PM
Well, the AAA team is a bunch of old prospects that died Jim Hendry draftees. Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters, something called a Lars Anderson, Matt Szeurukafrurur. I could keep going, but you get the idea. This is not a roster of Kris Bryants and Kyle Schwarbers.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 19, 2014, 11:53:28 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Quote from: Tony Ballgame on AA/AAA and Kris Bryant
"I think he's going to really dominate Triple-A more than Double-A. I thought Double-A was the hardest level for myself personally, and he's way more polished than I was in the Minor Leagues. He'll see more advanced pitching now. With the bases loaded, guys would rather walk him and give up one run than four. He'll put the finishing touches on his approach and hopefully takes off."

Link (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20140618&content_id=80376532&notebook_id=80382122&vkey=notebook_chc&c_id=chc)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 19, 2014, 12:08:05 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 19, 2014, 11:53:28 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 16, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 16, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

Quote from: Tony Ballgame on AA/AAA and Kris Bryant
"I think he's going to really dominate Triple-A more than Double-A. I thought Double-A was the hardest level for myself personally, and he's way more polished than I was in the Minor Leagues. He'll see more advanced pitching now. With the bases loaded, guys would rather walk him and give up one run than four. He'll put the finishing touches on his approach and hopefully takes off."

Link (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20140618&content_id=80376532&notebook_id=80382122&vkey=notebook_chc&c_id=chc)

That makes sense. I might be up for a road trip to Des Moines.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 20, 2014, 02:35:15 AM
Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 20, 2014, 04:12:56 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2014, 02:35:15 AM
Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Boner-inducing article and video. (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article/mlb/cubs-prospect-kris-bryant-hits-home-run-in-triple-a-iowa-debut?ymd=20140619&content_id=80666294&vkey=news_mlb)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 20, 2014, 04:12:56 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2014, 02:35:15 AM
Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Boner-inducing article and video. (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article/mlb/cubs-prospect-kris-bryant-hits-home-run-in-triple-a-iowa-debut?ymd=20140619&content_id=80666294&vkey=news_mlb)

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton
2) Color analyst: " (What's) nice about that is he fell behind 0-2 and took all those curveballs that were way outside, didn't chase any, got a pitch he could launch the other way..."
3) Kid's big--after he circles the bases and heads back to the dugout, it seems likehe towers over his little teammates (I'm aware that two of the little 'uns were batboys, which may have amplified the affect for me but still).

Boing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 20, 2014, 08:04:11 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 20, 2014, 04:12:56 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2014, 02:35:15 AM
Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Boner-inducing article and video. (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article/mlb/cubs-prospect-kris-bryant-hits-home-run-in-triple-a-iowa-debut?ymd=20140619&content_id=80666294&vkey=news_mlb)

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton
2) Color analyst: " (What's) nice about that is he fell behind 0-2 and took all those curveballs that were way outside, didn't chase any, got a pitch he could launch the other way..."
3) Kid's big--after he circles the bases and heads back to the dugout, it seems likehe towers over his little teammates (I'm aware that two of the little 'uns were batboys, which may have amplified the affect for me but still).

Boing.

I've fapped so much.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 20, 2014, 08:17:53 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2014, 02:35:15 AM
Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Yeah... In his fourth AB. *yawn*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 20, 2014, 08:21:42 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 20, 2014, 08:17:53 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2014, 02:35:15 AM
Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Yeah... In his fourth AB. *yawn*

.250 BA. SEND HIM DOWN
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on June 20, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

Intrepid Reader: Fork

It's no place for black guys, that's for sure.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 20, 2014, 08:44:27 AM
Quote from: CT III on June 20, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

Intrepid Reader: Fork

It's no place for black guys, that's for sure.

For my next impression, Jesse Owens!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 20, 2014, 10:31:03 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

For what it's worth the reference was specifically to Stanton's ridiculous line-drive opposite-field homerun against the Cubs last week which is sort of what Bryant's dong-blast reminded me of.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 20, 2014, 10:38:38 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 10:31:03 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

For what it's worth the reference was specifically to Stanton's ridiculous line-drive opposite-field homerun against the Cubs last week which is sort of what Bryant's dong-blast reminded me of.

We should expect Kris Bryant to be a slightly better Mark Reynolds.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on June 20, 2014, 11:29:25 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 20, 2014, 10:38:38 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 10:31:03 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

For what it's worth the reference was specifically to Stanton's ridiculous line-drive opposite-field homerun against the Cubs last week which is sort of what Bryant's dong-blast reminded me of.

We should expect Kris Bryant to be a slightly better Mark Reynolds.

With more strikeouts.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 20, 2014, 11:52:22 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 20, 2014, 08:29:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 20, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

(doesn't notice, is too busy plowing whatever Miami's version of Trixies is)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 20, 2014, 10:18:40 PM
DPD.  0-for-4, 3 K, GDP.

Epstink is terrible.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 22, 2014, 06:22:58 PM
2-for-4, 2HR.

Epstink is a genious.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 22, 2014, 07:06:44 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 22, 2014, 06:22:58 PM
2-for-4, 2HR.

Epstink is a genious.

(http://i61.tinypic.com/oqb0k1.png)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 22, 2014, 08:58:39 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 22, 2014, 06:22:58 PM
2-for-4, 2HR.

Epstink is a genious.


Batting .188 since he was promoted. He stinks.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 22, 2014, 10:50:59 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2014, 07:06:44 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 22, 2014, 06:22:58 PM
2-for-4, 2HR.

Epstink is a genious.

(http://i61.tinypic.com/oqb0k1.png)

Time to Fork.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 23, 2014, 07:12:13 AM
In 4 games at AAA, he's hitting .188 with 3 hits--all are HR's. 5 RBI. 8 K's.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 23, 2014, 09:01:20 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2014, 07:06:44 PM
Quote from: Fork on June 22, 2014, 06:22:58 PM
2-for-4, 2HR.

Epstink is a genious.

(http://i61.tinypic.com/oqb0k1.png)

genious = opposite of moran.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 24, 2014, 01:02:04 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.

I kind of want him to never hit a single again.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 24, 2014, 01:10:47 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 24, 2014, 01:02:04 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.

I kind of want him to never hit a single again.

So, he's basically April 2013 Rick Ankiel? I like it
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 24, 2014, 01:15:18 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 24, 2014, 01:10:47 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 24, 2014, 01:02:04 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.

I kind of want him to never hit a single again.

So, he's basically April 2013 Rick Ankiel? I like it

But with walks too.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 24, 2014, 01:42:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.

not sure how to handle all this. it's breathtaking.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 24, 2014, 02:05:17 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 24, 2014, 01:42:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.

not sure how to handle all this. it's breathtaking.

I'm thankful every day the Astros took Appel (or that the Cubs won a few extra games in 2012 and didn't get the top pick). I don't even want to think about the Cubs without Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 24, 2014, 02:10:47 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 02:05:17 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 24, 2014, 01:42:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 24, 2014, 12:52:46 PM
Good God.

not sure how to handle all this. it's breathtaking.

I'm thankful every day the Astros took Appel (or that the Cubs won a few extra games in 2012 and didn't get the top pick). I don't even want to think about the Cubs without Bryant.

Appel's ERA is 16.39. That's a one and a six and a decimal and a three and a nine.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 24, 2014, 02:18:31 PM
Named to the futures game roster. Duh.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
Just to bring us up to speed:

June 22nd (2) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33965489&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33965489&v=3)
June 22nd (3) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33985885&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33985885&v=3)
June 24th (4) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33966283&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33966283&v=3)
June 24th (5) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33994901&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33994901&v=3)

Current line in Iowa:

.238/.333/.952(!)/1.286

Yes, that SLG is higher than anybody else's OPS.  Christ on a bike.  I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

EDIT: An intrusive apostrophe?  *facepalm*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 07:22:24 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
Just to bring us up to speed:

June 22nd (2) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33965489&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33965489&v=3)
June 22nd (3) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33985885&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33985885&v=3)
June 24th (4) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33966283&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33966283&v=3)
June 24th (5) (http://www.milb.com/multimedia/vpp.jsp?content_id=33994901&topic_id=&sid=t451&tcid=vpp_copy_33994901&v=3)

Current line in Iowa:

.238/.333/.952(!)/1.286

Yes, that SLG is higher than anybody else's OPS.  Christ on a bike.  I expect Eli's having sleepless night's about the batting average, though.

Batting Average? pshaw
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:35:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Is it my fault you're the Desipio Chicken Licken?  Now, whenever I see one of the Cubs' prospects doing sub-optimally, I get a vivid mental picture of you weeping into your cornflakes as you read the boxscore.  I just worry, Eli, is all.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 08:36:53 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:35:09 AM
Is it my fault you're the Desipio Chicken Licken?

I can't tell if this is a typo or some European weirdness.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:42:25 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 08:36:53 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:35:09 AM
Is it my fault you're the Desipio Chicken Licken?

I can't tell if this is a typo or some European weirdness.

Henny Penny, more commonly known as Chicken Little and sometimes as Chicken Licken, is a folk tale with a moral in the form of a cumulative tale about a chicken who believes the world is coming to an end. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henny_Penny)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:59:51 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:35:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Is it my fault you're the Desipio Chicken Licken?  Now, whenever I see one of the Cubs' prospects doing sub-optimally, I get a vivid mental picture of you weeping into your cornflakes as you read the boxscore.  I just worry, Eli, is all.

Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
You guys think about me way too much.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 09:23:23 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:42:25 AM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 08:36:53 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 08:35:09 AM
Is it my fault you're the Desipio Chicken Licken?

I can't tell if this is a typo or some European weirdness.

Henny Penny, more commonly known as Chicken Little and sometimes as Chicken Licken, is a folk tale with a moral in the form of a cumulative tale about a chicken who believes the world is coming to an end. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henny_Penny)

So... Option B (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_Licken_%28restaurant%29)?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 09:44:25 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Sometimes I go "Eli! Man I hope he's having a nice day."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:00:09 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 09:44:25 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Sometimes I go "Eli! Man I hope he's having a nice day."


Thanks, man! I usually am having a nice day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 10:22:02 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:00:09 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 09:44:25 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Sometimes I go "Eli! Man I hope he's having a nice day."


Thanks, man! I usually am having a nice day.

Unless you're getting sewage out of your basement.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 10:35:58 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 10:22:02 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:00:09 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 09:44:25 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Sometimes I go "Eli! Man I hope he's having a nice day."


Thanks, man! I usually am having a nice day.

Unless you're getting sewage out of your basement.

Or thinking about the Cubs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:43:41 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 10:35:58 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 10:22:02 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:00:09 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 09:44:25 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Sometimes I go "Eli! Man I hope he's having a nice day."


Thanks, man! I usually am having a nice day.

Unless you're getting sewage out of your basement.

Or thinking about the Cubs.

Actually, when I do think about the Cubs, I'm pretty happy. I wish they were better this year at the big-league level, but the key young guys are playing well. And it sounds like they're planning to add some veterans in the offseason to hopefully push toward competing next year.

Sure, things could be better but they could also be much, much worse. Apologies if that all doesn't fit neatly into my prescribed meme.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 11:16:19 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:43:41 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 10:35:58 AM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 10:22:02 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 10:00:09 AM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 09:44:25 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 25, 2014, 08:25:19 AM
Quote from: Tonker on June 25, 2014, 04:30:10 AM
I expect Eli's having sleepless nights about the batting average, though.

You guys think about me way too much.

Sometimes I go "Eli! Man I hope he's having a nice day."


Thanks, man! I usually am having a nice day.

Unless you're getting sewage out of your basement.

Or thinking about the Cubs.

Actually, when I do think about the Cubs, I'm pretty happy. I wish they were better this year at the big-league level, but the key young guys are playing well. And it sounds like they're planning to add some veterans in the offseason to hopefully push toward competing next year.

Sure, things could be better but they could also be much, much worse. Apologies if that all doesn't fit neatly into my prescribed meme.

Nor does it fit into the tone of your posts usually. Though, I think we're all a little more positive of late, seeing Castro and Rizzo sustain their upswing, the bullpen materialize and knowing that Snork will soon be out of our lives forever. Maybe that last part is just me and a couple other people but I'm happy. Cubs baseball, you guys.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 11:39:01 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 11:16:19 AM
Nor does it fit into the tone of your posts usually for a few months this winter when your hope seemed to hit its nadir.

All it takes to meme is one bad day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 25, 2014, 12:16:06 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 11:39:01 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 11:16:19 AM
Nor does it fit into the tone of your posts usually for a few months this winter when your hope seemed to hit its nadir.

All it takes to meme is one bad day.

That seems more reasonable. Since the winter we've seen bouncebacks from Castro and Rizzo, further awesomeness from Bryant, development from Alcantara, Arrieta looking like a long-term rotation piece and maybe most importantly, some indication that the team will spend in the offseason.

I just think I'm a bit more of a realist about the transition from the minors to the big-league level than some people, which makes me appear negative by comparison. For example, when I compared Kris Bryant to Troy Glaus and Pen got annoyed because he wanted Bryant comped to Mike effing Schmidt. That's overly rosy, no matter how much you love Bryant.

Best of all, it's not shitty winter anymore.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.

Troy Gluas
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 12:35:09 PM
Troy Glaus numbers in today's NL would be a garden hose of splooge left on overnight and sending all the earthworms out onto the driveway to perish in the morning sun. In other words, sign me up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.

Troy Gluas

Are we sure there's a difference between Glaus and Schmidt anyway?

(http://i.imgur.com/tiDNAZI.png)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:46:11 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.

Troy Gluas

Are we sure there's a difference between Glaus and Schmidt anyway?

(http://i.imgur.com/tiDNAZI.png)


And since Bryant is at 71%, that means he's close to 2x as good. Nice, Epstink
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 02:05:37 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:46:11 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.

Troy Gluas

Are we sure there's a difference between Glaus and Schmidt anyway?

(http://i.imgur.com/tiDNAZI.png)


And since Bryant is at 71%, that means he's close to 2x as good. Nice, Epstink

Kris Bryant is a common Mark Reynolds. Everyone should kill themselves now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 03:18:45 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 02:05:37 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:46:11 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.

Troy Gluas

Are we sure there's a difference between Glaus and Schmidt anyway?

(http://i.imgur.com/tiDNAZI.png)


And since Bryant is at 71%, that means he's close to 2x as good. Nice, Epstink

Kris Bryant is a common Mark Reynolds. Everyone should kill themselves now.

He's exactly like Reynolds only with an OBP over 100 points higher.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 03:28:38 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 03:18:45 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 25, 2014, 02:05:37 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:46:11 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: Yeti on June 25, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 25, 2014, 12:12:51 PM
Wonder how this works into his comps.

Quote
Kris Bryant has had either a HR, K, or BB in 71% of his PAs this year.

Troy Gluas

Are we sure there's a difference between Glaus and Schmidt anyway?

(http://i.imgur.com/tiDNAZI.png)


And since Bryant is at 71%, that means he's close to 2x as good. Nice, Epstink

Kris Bryant is a common Mark Reynolds. Everyone should kill themselves now.

He's exactly like Reynolds only with an OBP over 100 points higher.

/notes lack of comprehension
//kills self anyway
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on June 25, 2014, 04:28:45 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on June 25, 2014, 11:39:01 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 25, 2014, 11:16:19 AM
Nor does it fit into the tone of your posts usually for a few months this winter when your hope seemed to hit its nadir.

All it takes to meme is one bad day.

Yep. Think about how quickly PedoYeti memed up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 27, 2014, 11:49:50 AM
Here's another comp for Eli - Bryant as Pedro Alvarez.  (http://milbprospective.mlblogs.com/2014/06/26/with-kris-bryant-on-the-mind-looking-back-at-a-triple-a-debut-by-another-prominent-slugger/)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 27, 2014, 12:52:47 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 27, 2014, 11:49:50 AM
Here's another comp for Eli - Bryant as Pedro Alvarez.  (http://milbprospective.mlblogs.com/2014/06/26/with-kris-bryant-on-the-mind-looking-back-at-a-triple-a-debut-by-another-prominent-slugger/)

QuoteHe actually outperformed Alvarez (.355/.458/.702 vs. .333/.419/.590) during their respective 60-game turns in Double-A despite being one year younger.

This gives me hope that he might do a better job of making more contact and getting on base than Alvarez does.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 27, 2014, 01:05:34 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 27, 2014, 11:49:50 AM
Here's another comp for Eli - Bryant as Pedro Alvarez.  (http://milbprospective.mlblogs.com/2014/06/26/with-kris-bryant-on-the-mind-looking-back-at-a-triple-a-debut-by-another-prominent-slugger/)

I think Alvarez makes way more sense for Baez than Bryant. I mean, Bryant is a white guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on June 27, 2014, 02:03:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 27, 2014, 01:05:34 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 27, 2014, 11:49:50 AM
Here's another comp for Eli - Bryant as Pedro Alvarez.  (http://milbprospective.mlblogs.com/2014/06/26/with-kris-bryant-on-the-mind-looking-back-at-a-triple-a-debut-by-another-prominent-slugger/)

I think Alvarez makes way more sense for Baez than Bryant. I mean, Bryant is a white guy.

So Bryant is Jimmer is McDermott. Can he shoot?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 27, 2014, 02:04:40 PM
Quote from: Tony on June 27, 2014, 02:03:39 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 27, 2014, 01:05:34 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 27, 2014, 11:49:50 AM
Here's another comp for Eli - Bryant as Pedro Alvarez.  (http://milbprospective.mlblogs.com/2014/06/26/with-kris-bryant-on-the-mind-looking-back-at-a-triple-a-debut-by-another-prominent-slugger/)

I think Alvarez makes way more sense for Baez than Bryant. I mean, Bryant is a white guy.

So Bryant is Jimmer is McDermott. Can he shoot?

I think McDermott was Adam Morrison? 

I can't keep up. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on July 01, 2014, 02:08:09 PM
Kris Bryant gonna Kris Bryant. 2 for 4 yesterday and hit a grand slam to upstage Manny's first Iowa Cubes HR the inning before.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on July 01, 2014, 02:15:04 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 01, 2014, 02:08:09 PM
Kris Bryant gonna Kris Bryant. 2 for 4 yesterday and git a grand slam to upstage Manny's first Iowa Cubes HR the inning before.

Yeah, but he just went 0-2 today with a walk, so he sucks again.  

Try to keep up, fanboy.

Maybe you can catch Game 2 today.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on July 12, 2014, 02:51:13 PM
The Cubs got the second pick consolation prize!

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/24617829/things-are-still-not-going-well-for-2013-top-pick-mark-appel
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on July 23, 2014, 09:57:36 AM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM

I also think the Cubs want to bring these guys up one at a time so they don't have two Super 2s in the same year. Bryant will move up to AAA after the first half ends, at the latest. The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

I guess they're going all in on the PCL Playoffs
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 23, 2014, 11:10:40 AM
Quote from: Yeti on July 23, 2014, 09:57:36 AM
Quote from: Fork on May 23, 2014, 11:31:27 AM

I also think the Cubs want to bring these guys up one at a time so they don't have two Super 2s in the same year. Bryant will move up to AAA after the first half ends, at the latest. The Smokies are pretty much locked into 2nd for the first half, so there aren't any playoff ramifications to consider.

I guess they're going all in on the PCL Playoffs

At this point, it means more games for Baez at 2B and more ABs for Soler.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 15, 2014, 02:46:30 AM
Bryant hits his 40th. (http://m.milb.com/video/#/topic/0/video/35374995) Recommended sound off unless you like that cutesy "bye bye bye bye baseball" crap.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: BH on August 15, 2014, 09:34:01 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 15, 2014, 02:46:30 AM
Bryant hits his 40th. (http://m.milb.com/video/#/topic/0/video/35374995) Recommended sound off unless you like that cutesy "bye bye bye bye baseball" crap.

See you later, it's a tater!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on August 15, 2014, 11:59:53 AM
Quote from: BH on August 15, 2014, 09:34:01 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 15, 2014, 02:46:30 AM
Bryant hits his 40th. (http://m.milb.com/video/#/topic/0/video/35374995) Recommended sound off unless you like that cutesy "bye bye bye bye baseball" crap.

See you later, it's a tater!

The Russ Hodges' "Bye Bye Baby" call happened in a game where a Giant hit a home run shortly after some commotion in the stands where a very pregnant woman went into labor.   It was his personal shtick and the other broadcaster couldn't use it.   His partner, Lon Simmons, had to have his home run call so he started with "Tell it bye bye", which morphed into a more manly,  "Tell it goodbye". 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 15, 2014, 12:02:58 PM
Quote from: CBStew on August 15, 2014, 11:59:53 AM
Quote from: BH on August 15, 2014, 09:34:01 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 15, 2014, 02:46:30 AM
Bryant hits his 40th. (http://m.milb.com/video/#/topic/0/video/35374995) Recommended sound off unless you like that cutesy "bye bye bye bye baseball" crap.

See you later, it's a tater!

The Russ Hodges' "Bye Bye Baby" call happened in a game where a Giant hit a home run shortly after some commotion in the stands where a very pregnant woman went into labor.   It was his personal shtick and the other broadcaster couldn't use it.   His partner, Lon Simmons, had to have his home run call so he started with "Tell it bye bye", which morphed into a more manly,  "Tell it goodbye". 

When I practice calling games in front of the mirror with a hairbrush, I always scream, "GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!" on homers.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on August 15, 2014, 12:08:13 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 15, 2014, 12:02:58 PM
Quote from: CBStew on August 15, 2014, 11:59:53 AM
Quote from: BH on August 15, 2014, 09:34:01 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 15, 2014, 02:46:30 AM
Bryant hits his 40th. (http://m.milb.com/video/#/topic/0/video/35374995) Recommended sound off unless you like that cutesy "bye bye bye bye baseball" crap.

See you later, it's a tater!

The Russ Hodges' "Bye Bye Baby" call happened in a game where a Giant hit a home run shortly after some commotion in the stands where a very pregnant woman went into labor.   It was his personal shtick and the other broadcaster couldn't use it.   His partner, Lon Simmons, had to have his home run call so he started with "Tell it bye bye", which morphed into a more manly,  "Tell it goodbye". 

When I practice calling games in front of the mirror with a hairbrush, I always scream, "GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!" on homers.

Holy shit I really wish you were broadcasting somewhere.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on August 15, 2014, 02:27:26 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 15, 2014, 12:02:58 PM
Quote from: CBStew on August 15, 2014, 11:59:53 AM
Quote from: BH on August 15, 2014, 09:34:01 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 15, 2014, 02:46:30 AM
Bryant hits his 40th. (http://m.milb.com/video/#/topic/0/video/35374995) Recommended sound off unless you like that cutesy "bye bye bye bye baseball" crap.

See you later, it's a tater!

The Russ Hodges' "Bye Bye Baby" call happened in a game where a Giant hit a home run shortly after some commotion in the stands where a very pregnant woman went into labor.   It was his personal shtick and the other broadcaster couldn't use it.   His partner, Lon Simmons, had to have his home run call so he started with "Tell it bye bye", which morphed into a more manly,  "Tell it goodbye". 

When I practice calling games in front of the mirror with a hairbrush, I always scream, "GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!" on homers.

I'm flabbergasted by this story.

You have a brush for your hair?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on August 17, 2014, 12:08:38 PM
Quote from: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 17, 2014, 12:32:01 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 17, 2014, 12:08:38 PM
Quote from: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 17, 2014, 01:28:54 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 17, 2014, 12:32:01 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 17, 2014, 12:08:38 PM
Quote from: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 17, 2014, 07:35:55 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 17, 2014, 01:28:54 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 17, 2014, 12:32:01 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 17, 2014, 12:08:38 PM
Quote from: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?

We don't know that. I think we have to assume he did, actually, until he proves otherwise.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 17, 2014, 08:14:05 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 17, 2014, 07:35:55 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 17, 2014, 01:28:54 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 17, 2014, 12:32:01 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 17, 2014, 12:08:38 PM
Quote from: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?

We don't know that. I think we have to assume he did, actually, until he proves otherwise.

Agreed.  I for one am glad Theo will stop at nothing to win.  Edwin Jackson had better invest in a really great lock.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 17, 2014, 09:49:55 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 17, 2014, 01:28:54 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 17, 2014, 12:32:01 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 17, 2014, 12:08:38 PM
Quote from: Oleg on August 17, 2014, 11:59:45 AM
DOOOOOM (http://www.chicagonow.com/cubs-den/2014/08/ruh-roh-kris-bryant-leaves-game-earl/).

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?

I'm pretty sure IAN has cameras mounted there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on September 04, 2014, 12:51:27 PM
I am shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you, to read that Scot Boras thinks that the Cubs should call up Kris Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 25, 2015, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on February 25, 2015, 11:19:56 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

That would change everything, now they don't have to trade DANVO GELBOCK.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 11:24:28 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

Castro has the better arm. Neither guy hits for a ton of power. Russell seems like a natural fit at 2nd or CF.

I have no idea what's going to happen but I see so many good options that don't involve trading for some cunt pitcher that get me really excited.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 25, 2015, 11:36:11 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 25, 2015, 11:36:11 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.  It was mentioned on all the top prospect shows that were done (BA and MLB).  It was also mentioned in the BP top prospects rundown on the site.   But, whatever.  I'm not convinced that Bryant isn't sticking at 3B.

Also, I have developed a white hot hatred for Chris Russo.  He's the baseball equivalent of Screamin' Stephen Smith.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 11:32:48 AM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 25, 2015, 11:36:11 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.  It was mentioned on all the top prospect shows that were done (BA and MLB).  It was also mentioned in the BP top prospects rundown on the site.   But, whatever.  I'm not convinced that Bryant isn't sticking at 3B.

Also, I have developed a white hot hatred for Chris Russo.  He's the baseball equivalent of Screamin' Stephen Smith.

ALL OF THI

I've never watched one second of that Russo show but his commercials make me want to quit life.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 26, 2015, 11:52:28 AM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 25, 2015, 11:36:11 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 25, 2015, 09:54:10 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 25, 2015, 09:46:51 AM
This (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/02/23/levine-cubs-bryant-asked-to-play-outfield-this-spring/) is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.  It was mentioned on all the top prospect shows that were done (BA and MLB).  It was also mentioned in the BP top prospects rundown on the site.   But, whatever.  I'm not convinced that Bryant isn't sticking at 3B.

Also, I have developed a white hot hatred for Chris Russo.  He's the baseball equivalent of Screamin' Stephen Smith.

20 hours a week, but you were probably baked for most/all of it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:12:22 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B. 

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant.

Yeah. I also don't know where Apex got the idea that he doesn't have much power, what with the .515 slugging % and 13 homers in just 68 games last year.

Stop telling insidious lies about Addison Russell, you twits.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 12:13:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Most scouting reports I've seen. And I've seen at least one, say that he's better suited for 2B or CF. So stop it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:15:15 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 12:13:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Most scouting reports I've seen. And I've seen at least one, say that he's better suited for 2B or CF. So stop it.

Stop what?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:17:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:15:15 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 12:13:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Most scouting reports I've seen. And I've seen at least one, say that he's better suited for 2B or CF. So stop it.

Stop what?

Apex really should have stopped reading that scouting report when the scout was listed as "Johnny B. Baker."  Also when it was written in crayon.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 12:36:58 PM
Quote from: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:17:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:15:15 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 12:13:38 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Most scouting reports I've seen. And I've seen at least one, say that he's better suited for 2B or CF. So stop it.

Stop what?

Apex really should have stopped reading that scouting report when the scout was listed as "Johnny B. Baker."  Also when it was written in crayon.

Who says I read it? It was on television.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on February 26, 2015, 01:30:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:12:22 PM
Stop telling insidious lies about Addison Russell, you twits.

Can we just get back to trading Starlin Castro already?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 26, 2015, 02:32:53 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on February 26, 2015, 01:30:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:12:22 PM
Stop telling insidious lies about Addison Russell, you twits.

Can we just get back to trading Starlin Castro already?

No, Chuck.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on February 26, 2015, 05:17:03 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 26, 2015, 02:32:53 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on February 26, 2015, 01:30:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:12:22 PM
Stop telling insidious lies about Addison Russell, you twits.

Can we just get back to trading Starlin Castro already?

No, Chuck.

I'd be willing to discuss trading Castro if they'll take Chuck as well.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 26, 2015, 05:19:47 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 26, 2015, 05:17:03 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 26, 2015, 02:32:53 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on February 26, 2015, 01:30:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on February 26, 2015, 12:12:22 PM
Stop telling insidious lies about Addison Russell, you twits.

Can we just get back to trading Starlin Castro already?

No, Chuck.

I'd be willing to discuss trading Castro if they'll take Chuck as well.

No, Penis.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 26, 2015, 08:55:48 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.

I think you're ultimately right -- it doesn't matter right now. I was just surprised since I'd heard/read/seen neutral or good things about his arm. But anyway, Russell's arm is a very small consideration in how this all plays out. Didn't really mean to derail the thread.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 08:37:56 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 08:55:48 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.

I think you're ultimately right -- it doesn't matter right now. I was just surprised since I'd heard/read/seen neutral or good things about his arm. But anyway, Russell's arm is a very small consideration in how this all plays out. Didn't really mean to derail the thread.

By rule we have to yell at any possible criticism of Bryant or Russell. Criticism of Baez is somewhat tolerated, but there are ground rules, and whatever it is, Chuck is wrong.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 27, 2015, 08:58:53 AM

Let's focus up here guys - Kris Bryant will make Glenallen Hill look like a slap hitter.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 09:26:53 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

It's all we have to do until we've seen each player in live action at least 100 times.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:28:19 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 09:26:53 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

It's all we have to do until we've seen each player in live action at least 100 times.

Well that and putting together laughably bad trade packages for Cole Hamels.

Christian Villanueva was highly touted once. I bet Amaro would pull that trigger, you guys.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on February 27, 2015, 09:39:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:28:19 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 09:26:53 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

It's all we have to do until we've seen each player in live action at least 100 times.

Well that and putting together laughably bad trade packages for Cole Hamels.

Christian Villanueva was highly touted once. I bet Amaro would pull that trigger, you guys.

I bet "we'd" have to throw in Duane Underwood.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:23:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.

I'm also interested to see if he's challenged a bit at AA. Not that his season wasn't impressive, but advanced bats drafted that high are kind of supposed to destroy A ball. This year will be a good test. It'll be exciting. It is exciting. I am excited.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 27, 2015, 10:25:15 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.

I think you mean this time next year we'll be looking at the Cubs schedule wondering when Schwarber gets his call up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:28:05 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 10:25:15 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.

I think you mean this time next year we'll be looking at the Cubs schedule wondering when Schwarber gets his call up.

Most likely since they're going to try to develop him defensively. I just feel like if he was going to just be a corner OF and he mashed AA ball the way he started off in A ball last year they might have considered him for a September 2015 showing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:28:55 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:23:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.

I'm also interested to see if he's challenged a bit at AA. Not that his season wasn't impressive, but advanced bats drafted that high are kind of supposed to destroy A ball. This year will be a good test. It'll be exciting. It is exciting. I am excited.

I expect the video game power numbers to decline but it'd be awesome if he could sustain that OBP.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 27, 2015, 10:29:19 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:28:05 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 10:25:15 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.

I think you mean this time next year we'll be looking at the Cubs schedule wondering when Schwarber gets his call up.

Most likely since they're going to try to develop him defensively. I just feel like if he was going to just be a corner OF and he mashed AA ball the way he started off in A ball last year they might have considered him for a September 2015 showing.

I just figure they're going to keep him down to hold another year of control. They bring him up this fall and he and Bryant both come due at the same time.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:30:12 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 10:29:19 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:28:05 AM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 10:25:15 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 10:17:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:59:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 09:52:20 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 09:20:13 AM
I actually feel like some of this debate over who will play what position might end up being overblown. Maddon has a history of moving guys around. Wouldn't really be surprising for Baez to play some 2B and 3B or Bryant to move to the OF sometimes, Schwarber to play catcher and OF, etc.

And this is only a real "problem" if all of Bryant, Baez, Schwarber and Russell hit their projections (and Schwarber can't stick at catcher). Odds are, one of them is going to disappoint and then this whole position thing will be moot.
I think the best case scenario for Schwarber is basically a Gattis type who might play catcher once or twice a week and spend the rest of the time in the OF.

Well, I think the best-case is that he sticks at catcher and is a left-handed Mike Piazza.

It may just be org-speak, but McLeod, Hoyer and Theo have all raved about his improvements back there in just a year. It's still unlikely he'll stick, but I'm more optimistic about it now than I was in June.

I feel like they wouldn't still be trying it after half a season of pro ball if he didn't show some ability to play there. Given how close to MLB-ready his bat is you'd think if the catcher thing was a hopeless cause they'd just shove him in LF right away and get him ready for a late 2015 call-up.

I think you mean this time next year we'll be looking at the Cubs schedule wondering when Schwarber gets his call up.

Most likely since they're going to try to develop him defensively. I just feel like if he was going to just be a corner OF and he mashed AA ball the way he started off in A ball last year they might have considered him for a September 2015 showing.

I just figure they're going to keep him down to hold another year of control. They bring him up this fall and he and Bryant both come due at the same time.

I don't think they're as worried about that with him because he's not a Boras client and also because we've hopefully reached the point of things by the end of this year where adding a potential impact player means more than worrying about fucking service time.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

Yes but we don't say it out loud. Certainly the contact issue is one that could mean something very bad or maybe mean nothing. Maybe he continues to get insane quality out of his contact in the majors, maybe he ends up being Mark Reynolds. I don't really see him being bad, but I definitely fear him not being this transcendent franchise cornerstone.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 11:00:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

Yes but we don't say it out loud. Certainly the contact issue is one that could mean something very bad or maybe mean nothing. Maybe he continues to get insane quality out of his contact in the majors, maybe he ends up being Mark Reynolds. I don't really see him being bad, but I definitely fear him not being this transcendent franchise cornerstone.

Mark Reynolds never had an OBP as high as Bryant's career marks. This isn't a concern.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:11:29 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 11:00:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

Yes but we don't say it out loud. Certainly the contact issue is one that could mean something very bad or maybe mean nothing. Maybe he continues to get insane quality out of his contact in the majors, maybe he ends up being Mark Reynolds. I don't really see him being bad, but I definitely fear him not being this transcendent franchise cornerstone.

Mark Reynolds never had an OBP as high as Bryant's career marks. This isn't a concern.
Yeah but Bryant will struggle to sustain his OBP in the majors if he's not able to hit .330 while only making contact on 65% of his swings like he did in the minors. Reynolds was an extreme case but my point was I don't see Kris Bryant being bad in the majors. I just also have that dark fear deep in the recesses of my mind honed by years of disappointment that says maybe he's just going to be "okay".
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on February 27, 2015, 11:12:26 AM
Y'all need to shut your fucking faces.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on February 27, 2015, 11:22:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:11:29 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 11:00:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

Yes but we don't say it out loud. Certainly the contact issue is one that could mean something very bad or maybe mean nothing. Maybe he continues to get insane quality out of his contact in the majors, maybe he ends up being Mark Reynolds. I don't really see him being bad, but I definitely fear him not being this transcendent franchise cornerstone.

Mark Reynolds never had an OBP as high as Bryant's career marks. This isn't a concern.
Yeah but Bryant will struggle to sustain his OBP in the majors if he's not able to hit .330 while only making contact on 65% of his swings like he did in the minors. Reynolds was an extreme case but my point was I don't see Kris Bryant being bad in the majors. I just also have that dark fear deep in the recesses of my mind honed by years of disappointment that says maybe he's just going to be "okay".


I keep hearing that the mitigating circumstances are that he controls the strike zone much better than others who have a similar swing and miss rate.  It's what separates him from Joey Gallo and why he's most likely to be a solid major leaguer, at worst.  At least that's what I hear.  By hear I mean what I say to the mirror every morning.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:24:32 AM
Quote from: Oleg on February 27, 2015, 11:22:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:11:29 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 11:00:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

Yes but we don't say it out loud. Certainly the contact issue is one that could mean something very bad or maybe mean nothing. Maybe he continues to get insane quality out of his contact in the majors, maybe he ends up being Mark Reynolds. I don't really see him being bad, but I definitely fear him not being this transcendent franchise cornerstone.

Mark Reynolds never had an OBP as high as Bryant's career marks. This isn't a concern.
Yeah but Bryant will struggle to sustain his OBP in the majors if he's not able to hit .330 while only making contact on 65% of his swings like he did in the minors. Reynolds was an extreme case but my point was I don't see Kris Bryant being bad in the majors. I just also have that dark fear deep in the recesses of my mind honed by years of disappointment that says maybe he's just going to be "okay".


I keep hearing that the mitigating circumstances are that he controls the strike zone much better than others who have a similar swing and miss rate.  It's what separates him from Joey Gallo and why he's most likely to be a solid major leaguer, at worst.  At least that's what I hear.  By hear I mean what I say to the mirror every morning.

Yeah he seems like a very unique case. He doesn't appear to be a free swinger at all. It seems more likely that a guy could develop timing and make better contact if he already has a good handle of the zone than to hope I guy just magically develops plate discipline. I'm not really worried. I'm just willing to admit that fear eats at my very soul because I have known a life of sadness.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on February 27, 2015, 11:28:44 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:24:32 AM
Quote from: Oleg on February 27, 2015, 11:22:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:11:29 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 11:00:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

Yes but we don't say it out loud. Certainly the contact issue is one that could mean something very bad or maybe mean nothing. Maybe he continues to get insane quality out of his contact in the majors, maybe he ends up being Mark Reynolds. I don't really see him being bad, but I definitely fear him not being this transcendent franchise cornerstone.

Mark Reynolds never had an OBP as high as Bryant's career marks. This isn't a concern.
Yeah but Bryant will struggle to sustain his OBP in the majors if he's not able to hit .330 while only making contact on 65% of his swings like he did in the minors. Reynolds was an extreme case but my point was I don't see Kris Bryant being bad in the majors. I just also have that dark fear deep in the recesses of my mind honed by years of disappointment that says maybe he's just going to be "okay".


I keep hearing that the mitigating circumstances are that he controls the strike zone much better than others who have a similar swing and miss rate.  It's what separates him from Joey Gallo and why he's most likely to be a solid major leaguer, at worst.  At least that's what I hear.  By hear I mean what I say to the mirror every morning.

Yeah he seems like a very unique case. He doesn't appear to be a free swinger at all. It seems more likely that a guy could develop timing and make better contact if he already has a good handle of the zone than to hope I guy just magically develops plate discipline. I'm not really worried. I'm just willing to admit that fear eats at my very soul because I have known a life of sadness.

Back to Slaky's original question, my answer is, "No."

I feel the same way about Russell and Soler.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 11:52:37 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

There are very, very players who ended up stars after putting up contact numbers like that in the minors.

But somehow, no, I'm not actually worried. Maybe that's cognitive dissonance.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 11:58:01 AM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 11:52:37 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

There are very, very players who ended up stars after putting up contact numbers like that in the minors.

But somehow, no, I'm not actually worried. Maybe that's cognitive dissonance.

To be fair we only have minor league contact data since, what, 2008? That Fangraphs article used minors stats since 2008, then major league contact rates since 2002. I mean, it's not a good sign, for sure, but who knows what past stars whiffed in the minors and grew to be good. My guess? All of them.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on February 27, 2015, 12:05:17 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 11:52:37 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

There are very, very players who ended up stars after putting up contact numbers like that in the minors.

But somehow, no, I'm not actually worried. Maybe that's cognitive dissonance.

There are indeed very, very players.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 27, 2015, 12:05:48 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 11:52:37 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

There are very, very players who ended up stars after putting up contact numbers like that in the minors.

But somehow, no, I'm not actually worried. Maybe that's cognitive dissonance.

Bryant is more very, very than most though.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 12:09:36 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 27, 2015, 12:05:17 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 11:52:37 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

There are very, very players who ended up stars after putting up contact numbers like that in the minors.

But somehow, no, I'm not actually worried. Maybe that's cognitive dissonance.

There are indeed very, very players.

Damn my now-invalid point.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on February 27, 2015, 12:18:31 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.

Not to derail the certainly riveting discussion I just skipped over, but 55 out of what?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on February 27, 2015, 12:20:47 PM
Quote from: CT III on February 27, 2015, 12:18:31 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.

Not to derail the certainly riveting discussion I just skipped over, but 55 out of what?

80.  It's the standard rating system for scouts.  Seems to go in 5-point increments.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 12:23:54 PM
Quote from: CT III on February 27, 2015, 12:18:31 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.

Not to derail the certainly riveting discussion I just skipped over, but 55 out of what?

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/scouting-explained-the-20-80-scouting-scale/
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on February 27, 2015, 12:28:14 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 12:23:54 PM
Quote from: CT III on February 27, 2015, 12:18:31 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 26, 2015, 12:09:24 PM
Quote from: Oleg on February 26, 2015, 10:51:36 AM
The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

Of course I've let my BA subscription lapse.  Ugh.

MLB.com rates his arm as a 55.  BP's scouting report rates his arm as a left-side of the infield arm.  Splitting hairs.

I just don't think it matters right now.

Not to derail the certainly riveting discussion I just skipped over, but 55 out of what?

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/scouting-explained-the-20-80-scouting-scale/

Thank you.

I mean that sincerely.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on February 27, 2015, 12:35:36 PM
My philosophy on all these Cubs prospects is that I'm just some boner who knows very,very about scouting.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 12:37:26 PM
Quote from: CT III on February 27, 2015, 12:28:14 PM
Thank you.

Very, very to help.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on February 27, 2015, 12:37:48 PM
It's going to be a good year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on February 27, 2015, 12:52:07 PM
Quote from: PANK! on February 27, 2015, 12:37:48 PM
It's going to be a good year.

A very, very year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:05:00 PM
Quote from: Tonker on February 27, 2015, 12:52:07 PM
Quote from: PANK! on February 27, 2015, 12:37:48 PM
It's going to be a good year.

A very, very year.

When I was 38, it was a very, very year.
It was a very, very year, for blue-chip prospects
With meager paychecks
We'd sit in the upper deck
And we'd all masturbate
When I was 38.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:29:00 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll be the same pear of sweatpants yanked up to my tits.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:31:01 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:29:00 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll be the same pear of sweatpants yanked up to my tits.

Even if Bryant ends up being Shane Andrews I'm not worried about the Cubs overall. Just talking about Bryant.

I think Soler has shown enough to make me comfortable in saying he's going to be a holy terror on this league for years. Castro and Rizzo are already very good.

Now that the Cubs are destination again and there's a deep enough pool of talent that we know of and even some players who we might not know enough about that could turn out to be very good - well I feel pretty damn good about Apex yankin up his cheese-stained sweats for years to come.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on February 27, 2015, 01:34:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:29:00 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll be the same pear of sweatpants yanked up to my tits.


Four letters per cheek is gonna cramp your sweatpants style.

CHAM PCUB
WSCH AMPS <-- The "C" IS THE CUBS LOGO MAYBE
CUBS YAY!
CUBS YAAY
APLU VSKB

??
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:37:05 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on February 27, 2015, 01:34:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:29:00 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll be the same pear of sweatpants yanked up to my tits.


Four letters per cheek is gonna cramp your sweatpants style.


CUBS YAY!

??


Winnar.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on February 27, 2015, 01:38:17 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

23?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:39:07 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

If the Cubs sign LeBron... oh, man.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on February 27, 2015, 02:26:42 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:39:07 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

If the Cubs sign LeBron... oh, man.

I'll give you this: he couldn't be worse than Jordan.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:42:18 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 27, 2015, 02:26:42 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:39:07 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

If the Cubs sign LeBron... oh, man.

I'll give you this: he couldn't be worse than Jordan.

You know, despite taking like 15 years off baseball, Jordan's OPS at AA was only 49 points lower than Albert Almora's.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on February 27, 2015, 02:49:08 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:42:18 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 27, 2015, 02:26:42 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:39:07 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

If the Cubs sign LeBron... oh, man.

I'll give you this: he couldn't be worse than Jordan.

You know, despite taking like 15 years off baseball, Jordan's OPS at AA was only 49 points lower than Albert Almora's.

Damn it, Eli.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on February 27, 2015, 02:50:25 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 27, 2015, 02:49:08 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:42:18 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 27, 2015, 02:26:42 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 01:39:07 PM
Quote from: Fork on February 27, 2015, 01:35:30 PM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 01:22:44 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on February 27, 2015, 10:59:41 AM
Quote from: Slaky on February 27, 2015, 10:54:14 AM
I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

If the Cubs sign LeBron... oh, man.

I'll give you this: he couldn't be worse than Jordan.

You know, despite taking like 15 years off baseball, Jordan's OPS at AA was only 49 points lower than Albert Almora's.

Damn it, Eli.

I can't even get upset.  That's high-level trolling.

(http://media.giphy.com/media/1Javkvna0YQp2/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:51:46 PM
(http://cdn2.scratch.mit.edu/get_image/gallery/659240_170x100.png)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:58:55 PM
There is a small kernel of truth in that I think Jordan's minor-league performance was actually amazing, all things considered.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on February 27, 2015, 03:04:19 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:58:55 PM
There is a small kernel of truth in that I think Jordan's minor-league performance was actually amazing, all things considered.

Yeah Jordan managing to break the Mendoza line in AA despite having not played a game of baseball in, what, 15 years or more at that point is really fucking impressive. I mean it makes it no less of a bizarre career move but he did fairly well given the odds against anyone being able to do that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on February 27, 2015, 03:25:30 PM
Quote from: SKO on February 27, 2015, 03:04:19 PM
Quote from: Eli on February 27, 2015, 02:58:55 PM
There is a small kernel of truth in that I think Jordan's minor-league performance was actually amazing, all things considered.

Yeah Jordan managing to break the Mendoza line in AA despite having not played a game of baseball in, what, 15 years or more at that point is really fucking impressive. I mean it makes it no less of a bizarre career move but he did fairly well given the odds against anyone being able to do that.

A MAN WAS DEAD.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 07, 2015, 02:40:07 PM
Spring training sploosh.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on March 14, 2015, 03:22:43 PM
8 for 19. 5 dongs (two of which were opposite fielders), a double, and two walks.

OBP: .476
SLG: 1.263
OPS: 1.739
SPG: INF
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on March 14, 2015, 03:42:13 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on March 14, 2015, 03:22:43 PM
9 for 20. 6 dongs (at least two of which were opposite fielders), a double, and two walks.

OBP: .500
SLG: 1.400
OPS: 1.900
SPG: INF * INF * INF

Corrected.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on March 14, 2015, 03:45:27 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on March 14, 2015, 03:42:13 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on March 14, 2015, 03:22:43 PM
9 for 20. 6 dongs (at least two of which were opposite fielders), a double, and two walks.

OBP: .500
SLG: 1.400
OPS: 1.900
SPG: INF * INF * INF

Corrected.

Yeah, overshadowing Kyle Hendricks' 5 perfect innings. Epstink is terrible.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 15, 2015, 10:58:05 AM

Nailing a virgin on prom night wasn't as tough a sell as sending Bryant to Iowa is going to be.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 15, 2015, 07:51:11 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 15, 2015, 10:58:05 AM

Nailing a virgin on prom night wasn't as tough a sell as sending Bryant to Iowa is going to be.

He's had some rough plays in the field. They'll mention his defense (if they have to even say anything publicly at all) and maybe needing to get some reps in left field. It's not any harder of a sell than it was before spring training.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 15, 2015, 07:51:11 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 15, 2015, 10:58:05 AM

Nailing a virgin on prom night wasn't as tough a sell as sending Bryant to Iowa is going to be.

He's had some rough plays in the field. They'll mention his defense (if they have to even say anything publicly at all) and maybe needing to get some reps in left field. It's not any harder of a sell than it was before spring training.
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?  It is not as though the cubs plan to start Elmer Fudd in place of Bryant in the games played in those 13 days.  Hell, at least 25 % of those games will be rained (snowed) out anyway.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on March 16, 2015, 11:17:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

So much THIS.  Anyone who thinks that a Boras client will sign some of long-term deal years before arbitration (a la Evan Longoria) is either really stupid or is on really awesome drugs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on March 16, 2015, 11:19:27 AM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 11:17:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

So much THIS.  Anyone who thinks that a Boras client will sign some of long-term deal years before arbitration (a la Evan Longoria) is either really stupid or is on really awesome drugs.

So, Fork... which is it?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on March 16, 2015, 11:21:12 AM
Quote from: Tonker on March 16, 2015, 11:19:27 AM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 11:17:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

So much THIS.  Anyone who thinks that a Boras client will sign some of long-term deal years before arbitration (a la Evan Longoria) is either really stupid or is on really awesome drugs.

So, Fork... which is it?

Catnip.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 16, 2015, 11:26:48 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen.

I disagree. They may need a few breaks (most teams do), but they don't need "pretty much everything" to go right. That's for teams who are projected to win like 70 games.

I realize this is semantics but damn it, we're on an Internet message board.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 11:58:05 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 11:26:48 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen.

I disagree. They may need a few breaks (most teams do), but they don't need "pretty much everything" to go right. That's for teams who are projected to win like 70 games.

I realize this is semantics but damn it, we're on an Internet message board.

Wait...who the fuck are you?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:10:54 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Also Baez having a good spring last year is irrelevant. The stated reason for sending him down was that he needed seasoning at Iowa, and he spent over half of a season there. If it was just about his service time he'd have been up in mid-April. His development was the main consideration, and still is, so this, again, is nowhere near "the same exact thing" as what they're doing with Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 16, 2015, 12:55:06 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 11:58:05 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 11:26:48 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen.

I disagree. They may need a few breaks (most teams do), but they don't need "pretty much everything" to go right. That's for teams who are projected to win like 70 games.

I realize this is semantics but damn it, we're on an Internet message board.

Wait...who the fuck are you?

I think I've been pretty consistent in saying they aren't far from competing, if they actually try to do it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on March 16, 2015, 01:13:27 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Andrus sucks though. So there's that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on March 16, 2015, 01:22:08 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

If this is the extent of the list then that's amazing and attests to the fact.  Boras has been around a long time and has had many top-tiered clients.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 16, 2015, 01:28:05 PM
Quote from: Tonker on March 16, 2015, 11:19:27 AM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 11:17:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

So much THIS.  Anyone who thinks that a Boras client will sign some of long-term deal years before arbitration (a la Evan Longoria) is either really stupid or is on really awesome drugs.

So, Fork... which is it?

little from Column A, little from Column B.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 16, 2015, 01:29:24 PM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 01:22:08 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

If this is the extent of the list then that's amazing and attests to the fact.  Boras has been around a long time and has had many top-tiered clients.

Jered Weaver did (http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/mlb/story/_/id/6889644/jered-weaver-bucks-scott-boras-advice-new-los-angeles-angels-deal), too, but it's a pretty thin list. He also said this, which probably puts him on a shorter list.

Quote"If $85 (million) is not enough to take care of my family and other generations of families then I'm pretty stupid, but how much money do you really need in life?" Weaver said Tuesday.

"... Could have got more, whatever. Who cares?"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:01:01 PM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 01:29:24 PM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 01:22:08 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

If this is the extent of the list then that's amazing and attests to the fact.  Boras has been around a long time and has had many top-tiered clients.

Jered Weaver did (http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/mlb/story/_/id/6889644/jered-weaver-bucks-scott-boras-advice-new-los-angeles-angels-deal), too, but it's a pretty thin list. He also said this, which probably puts him on a shorter list.

Quote"If $85 (million) is not enough to take care of my family and other generations of families then I'm pretty stupid, but how much money do you really need in life?" Weaver said Tuesday.

"... Could have got more, whatever. Who cares?"


The list is bigger than I thought it would be, which is kind of encouraging, but either way Boras' history definitely suggests the safest way to ensure Bryant is in a Cub uniform for the longest amount of time is to wait two weeks. Which, to Fork's credit, he was actually agreeing with, his reasoning was just hilariously wrong in that wonderful Fork way.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:04:51 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Also who the hell are you? I thought by now Andy'd put Desipio on the Augusta Rules for new membership.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 02:12:05 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:04:51 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Also who the hell are you? I thought by now Andy'd put Desipio on the Augusta Rules for new membership.

He's (another) guy making you look stupid.

I say he stays!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:39:29 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 02:12:05 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:04:51 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Also who the hell are you? I thought by now Andy'd put Desipio on the Augusta Rules for new membership.

He's (another) guy making you look stupid.

I say he stays!

In my defense I was fairly sure there was at least one. I just knew the list was small enough compared to the number of Boras clients overall that it still, as Huey said, proves the point that there's just not a high probability of Bryant being extended before FA.

Also I meant no disrespect to new guy. I was just legitimately floored to see a new guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on March 16, 2015, 02:43:20 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:39:29 PM

Also I meant no disrespect to new guy. I was just legitimately floored to see a new guy.

RW has been around since 2007. NOW WHO'S THE NEW GUY?!?!?!?!?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on March 16, 2015, 02:43:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:39:29 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 02:12:05 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:04:51 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Also who the hell are you? I thought by now Andy'd put Desipio on the Augusta Rules for new membership.

He's (another) guy making you look stupid.

I say he stays!

In my defense I was fairly sure there was at least one. I just knew the list was small enough compared to the number of Boras clients overall that it still, as Huey said, proves the point that there's just not a high probability of Bryant being extended before FA.

Also I meant no disrespect to new guy. I was just legitimately floored to see a new guy.

There are no new guys.  RW's been around a while, longtime lurker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on March 16, 2015, 02:44:02 PM
Man, Oleg just NOTANEWGUYFACED me.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on March 16, 2015, 02:45:24 PM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 02:44:02 PM
Man, Oleg just NOTANEWGUYFACED me.

But, I'm not sure if he's a LOCAL GUY.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:51:42 PM
Quote from: Oleg on March 16, 2015, 02:43:20 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:39:29 PM

Also I meant no disrespect to new guy. I was just legitimately floored to see a new guy.

RW has been around since 2007. NOW WHO'S THE NEW GUY?!?!?!?!?

You've got me. I have attempted to lure him out of hiding so that I may kill him the way I dispatched MGRW and Bocaj in order to forever secure my place as Newest Desipiot, and unless you want to end up like Gil Gunderson I suggest you get out of my way.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on March 16, 2015, 03:03:43 PM
Quote from: Oleg on March 16, 2015, 02:45:24 PM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 02:44:02 PM
Man, Oleg just NOTANEWGUYFACED me.

But, I'm not sure if he's a LOCAL GUY.

I honestly remember him being in or from Australia.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on March 16, 2015, 03:11:26 PM
Quote from: CT III on March 16, 2015, 03:03:43 PM
Quote from: Oleg on March 16, 2015, 02:45:24 PM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 02:44:02 PM
Man, Oleg just NOTANEWGUYFACED me.

But, I'm not sure if he's a LOCAL GUY.

I honestly remember him being in or from Australia.

You're thinking of RD. Or Tonker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 16, 2015, 03:36:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:39:29 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 02:12:05 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:04:51 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Also who the hell are you? I thought by now Andy'd put Desipio on the Augusta Rules for new membership.

He's (another) guy making you look stupid.

I say he stays!

In my defense I was fairly sure there was at least one. I just knew the list was small enough compared to the number of Boras clients overall that it still, as Huey said, proves the point that there's just not a high probability of Bryant being extended before FA.

Also I meant no disrespect to new guy. I was just legitimately floored to see a new guy.

It's Boras' job to get Bryant what he wants, whether it's top dollar or to stay in Chicago. But the fact of the matter is that we're worrying about something that might never be an issue, considering there's a lot of road between here and there, and there's no guarantee Jepstink or Boras will be part of what happens at the other end.

But I do guarantee that Boras and Jepstink have discussed this. Otherwise, they'd all suck at their jobs a lot more than we think they do.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 03:54:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 03:36:56 PM
It's Boras' job to get Bryant what he wants, whether it's top dollar or to stay in Chicago. But the fact of the matter is that we're worrying about something that might never be an issue, considering there's a lot of road between here and there, and there's no guarantee Jepstink or Boras will be part of what happens at the other end.

But I do guarantee that Boras and Jepstink have discussed this. Otherwise, they'd all suck at their jobs a lot more than we think they do.

No one's saying they haven't discussed this, we're all saying they've discussed it and determined that the history of Boras clients suggests that there's about a 90% chance he will want to hit the market and test the waters of free agency to get the most money, so the smart move is to get that extra year of control.

Your original statement was the Bryant sitaution was like Rizzo/Baez and Boras isn't really a consideration, which the rest of us think is bullshit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 16, 2015, 04:26:25 PM
Quote from: PANK! on March 16, 2015, 02:43:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:39:29 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 16, 2015, 02:12:05 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 02:04:51 PM
Quote from: RW on March 16, 2015, 01:11:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 12:09:00 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 11:35:02 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 11:01:14 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 16, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 09:19:01 AM
Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.

Rizzo absolutely destroyed AAA pitching the year before the Cubs got him. And Baez could have just as easily been brought up last spring, he had a good camp.

As for Boras being Bryant's agent, he and Jepstink know the deal. If Bryant is the real McCoy, the Cubs will offer a deal that gives him more upfront dough in exchange for a few years of free agency, like they did with Castro and Rizzo. It's not like Theo's exactly a babe in the woods.

Find me a list of Boras clients who have allowed teams to buy them out of free agency in exchange for team friendly extensions. I'll wait.

Elvis Andrus and Carlos Gonzalez.

Also who the hell are you? I thought by now Andy'd put Desipio on the Augusta Rules for new membership.

He's (another) guy making you look stupid.

I say he stays!

In my defense I was fairly sure there was at least one. I just knew the list was small enough compared to the number of Boras clients overall that it still, as Huey said, proves the point that there's just not a high probability of Bryant being extended before FA.

Also I meant no disrespect to new guy. I was just legitimately floored to see a new guy.

There are no new guys.  RW's been around a while, longtime lurker.

Show some respect for a Chicago legend, people.

(http://espn.go.com/media/pg2/2002/0118/photo/s_mcquart_vt.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 16, 2015, 04:33:29 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 03:54:48 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 03:36:56 PM
It's Boras' job to get Bryant what he wants, whether it's top dollar or to stay in Chicago. But the fact of the matter is that we're worrying about something that might never be an issue, considering there's a lot of road between here and there, and there's no guarantee Jepstink or Boras will be part of what happens at the other end.

But I do guarantee that Boras and Jepstink have discussed this. Otherwise, they'd all suck at their jobs a lot more than we think they do.

No one's saying they haven't discussed this, we're all saying they've discussed it and determined that the history of Boras clients suggests that there's about a 90% chance he will want to hit the market and test the waters of free agency to get the most money, so the smart move is to get that extra year of control.

Your original statement was the Bryant sitaution was like Rizzo/Baez and Boras isn't really a consideration, which the rest of us think is bullshit.

I don;'t think it's nearly as much of one as everyone else thinks. If Bryant winds up being the best thing before and since sliced bread, and the Cubs presumably launching their own television network somewhere between here and there, then why wouldn't the Cubs give him his next contract? Both Rizzo and Castro would certainly be able to make more money had they not extended and went through to free agency, but we're also all assuming that Bryant won't want to stay here. In the final analysis, what happens to Kris Bryant is dependent on Kris Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on March 16, 2015, 04:37:15 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 04:33:29 PM
why wouldn't the Cubs give him his next contract? Both Rizzo and Castro would certainly be able to make more money had they not extended and went through to free agency, but we're also all assuming that Bryant won't want to stay here. In the final analysis, what happens to Kris Bryant is dependent on Kris Bryant.

They would. But the Boras history says that A) the bulk of guys don't sign early; and B) those that don't leave.  While I have seen a few names of guys who signed early extensions, I have yet to see the name of a Boras client that reached free agency that stayed with his original team.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on March 16, 2015, 05:14:13 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on March 16, 2015, 04:37:15 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 04:33:29 PM
why wouldn't the Cubs give him his next contract? Both Rizzo and Castro would certainly be able to make more money had they not extended and went through to free agency, but we're also all assuming that Bryant won't want to stay here. In the final analysis, what happens to Kris Bryant is dependent on Kris Bryant.

They would. But the Boras history says that A) the bulk of guys don't sign early; and B) those that don't leave.  While I have seen a few names of guys who signed early extensions, I have yet to see the name of a Boras client that reached free agency that stayed with his original team.

Er...He has yet to take a pitch in the major leagues and we are trying to figure out if he will leave after 2020 or 2021?  For my part I don't give a damn.  I will be happy to be cognitive for the 2021 season.
(Chances are that the Cubs will trade him in May of 2017 for a late inning reliever and another shortstop.)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 16, 2015, 07:49:12 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on March 16, 2015, 04:37:15 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 16, 2015, 04:33:29 PM
why wouldn't the Cubs give him his next contract? Both Rizzo and Castro would certainly be able to make more money had they not extended and went through to free agency, but we're also all assuming that Bryant won't want to stay here. In the final analysis, what happens to Kris Bryant is dependent on Kris Bryant.

They would. But the Boras history says that A) the bulk of guys don't sign early; and B) those that don't leave.  While I have seen a few names of guys who signed early extensions, I have yet to see the name of a Boras client that reached free agency that stayed with his original team.

OK, let's say Kris Bryant becomes all we hope he'd be and more. If Boras looks to get him top dollar, who's to say the team offering (with their renovated ballpark and spanking-new network by then) won't be the Cubs?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 16, 2015, 09:16:22 PM
Literally no one here has said that or suggested it. All anyone is saying is that Bryant will reach free agency. Odds probably are good he'd re-sign with the Cubs, but it would still be at top dollar. Very small chance he'll take a team friendly deal like Rizzo well before he might hit FA.  So the control is important in that it puts off that big contract and the chance Bryant might not be a Cub in 2021 for the guarantee that he will be.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: flannj on March 17, 2015, 08:04:48 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 09:16:22 PM
Literally no one here has said that or suggested it. All anyone is saying is that Bryant will reach free agency. Odds probably Are good he'd re-sign with the Cubs, but it would still be at top dollar. Very small chance he'll take a team friendly deal like Rizzo well before he might hit FA.  So the control is important in that it puts off that big contract and the Chance Bryant might not be a Cub in 2021 for the guarantee that he will be.

Chance Bryant just finished playing a round of mixed doubles with Muffy, Brooke and Chad.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 17, 2015, 08:09:06 AM
Quote from: flannj on March 17, 2015, 08:04:48 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 09:16:22 PM
Literally no one here has said that or suggested it. All anyone is saying is that Bryant will reach free agency. Odds probably are good he'd re-sign with the Cubs, but it would still be at top dollar. Very small chance he'll take a team friendly deal like Rizzo well before he might hit FA.  So the control is important in that it puts off that big contract and the chance Bryant might not be a Cub in 2021 for the guarantee that he will be.

Chance Bryant just finished playing a round of mixed doubles with Muffy, Brooke and Chad.

I always have trouble getting italics to work when I post from my phone, so I capitalize first letters for emphasis instead. Fixed it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: flannj on March 17, 2015, 08:14:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 08:09:06 AM
Quote from: flannj on March 17, 2015, 08:04:48 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 09:16:22 PM
Literally no one here has said that or suggested it. All anyone is saying is that Bryant will reach free agency. Odds probably are good he'd re-sign with the Cubs, but it would still be at top dollar. Very small chance he'll take a team friendly deal like Rizzo well before he might hit FA.  So the control is important in that it puts off that big contract and the chance Bryant might not be a Cub in 2021 for the guarantee that he will be.

Chance Bryant just finished playing a round of mixed doubles with Muffy, Brooke and Chad.

I always have trouble getting italics to work when I post from my phone, so I capitalize first letters for emphasis instead. Fixed it.

Thank God. I don't know how long I could of taken it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:14:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 08:09:06 AM
so I capitalize first letters for emphasis instead.

That makes No sense.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 16, 2015, 09:16:22 PM
Literally no one here has said that or suggested it. All anyone is saying is that Bryant will reach free agency. Odds probably are good he'd re-sign with the Cubs, but it would still be at top dollar. Very small chance he'll take a team friendly deal like Rizzo well before he might hit FA.  So the control is important in that it puts off that big contract and the chance Bryant might not be a Cub in 2021 for the guarantee that he will be.

But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

As it is, whether the Cubs have Bryant on the Opening Night roster or not, they still have years of control over Bryant. So at this point, no..Scott Boras doesn't mean a fucking thing.

And when the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:09:52 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

All anyone is saying is that there are a lot of fucking variables between now and 2021, one of those variables being Scott Boras and his clients histories of not taking extensions before they have a chance to test the market. That's a variable that Theo and Jed have no doubt discussed. Even if it's a small part of their process, it is a part, and it's just one of Many reasons why it's worth trading two weeks for an extra guaranteed year of control.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 17, 2015, 09:14:51 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And thankfully money is not a human construct.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 17, 2015, 09:15:07 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:09:52 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

How so? The Cubs are currently running relatively lean financially, even with the Lester and Jackson deals. Jackson rolls off in a couple years.

The Cubs will have fuckloads of money, because the Ricketts family has fuckloads of money - regardless of potential future revenue sources. If Bryant winds up being a superstar and decides to ply his trade elsewhere, it won't be because the Cubs can't afford him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 17, 2015, 09:16:13 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 09:14:51 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And thankfully money is not a human construct.

It's at least more reliable than Mark Prior, the last Cub wunderkind who we would have had to worry about keeping beyond 5 years.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:17:01 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:15:07 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:09:52 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

How so? The Cubs are currently running relatively lean financially, even with the Lester and Jackson deals. Jackson rolls off in a couple years.

The Cubs will have fuckloads of money, because the Ricketts family has fuckloads of money - regardless of potential future revenue sources. If Bryant winds up being a superstar and decides to ply his trade elsewhere, it won't be because the Cubs can't afford him.

Right but why not put that off till 2021 instead of 2020 anyway? The fact that you feel confident you might be able to re-sign him is no reason to bring that decision about any sooner than you have to. That's all any of us are trying to say. Scott Boras is just one factor in that decision, but he's definitely a factor.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on March 17, 2015, 09:26:46 AM
So, we're agreed then: Kris Bryant will start the season in Iowa.

Good work, everyone.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on March 17, 2015, 09:31:46 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:15:07 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:09:52 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

How so? The Cubs are currently running relatively lean financially, even with the Lester and Jackson deals. Jackson rolls off in a couple years.

The Cubs will have fuckloads of money, because the Ricketts family has fuckloads of money - regardless of potential future revenue sources. If Bryant winds up being a superstar and decides to ply his trade elsewhere, it won't be because the Cubs can't afford him.

Dammit Fork, now Chuck is going to feel the need to contribute to this discussion.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on March 17, 2015, 10:26:01 AM
I find this thread weird and scary.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 17, 2015, 11:34:32 AM
This thread is the dumbest thing since the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 17, 2015, 11:44:12 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:17:01 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:15:07 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 09:09:52 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 09:06:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:36:06 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 17, 2015, 08:23:37 AM
But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

Quotewhen the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

How so? The Cubs are currently running relatively lean financially, even with the Lester and Jackson deals. Jackson rolls off in a couple years.

The Cubs will have fuckloads of money, because the Ricketts family has fuckloads of money - regardless of potential future revenue sources. If Bryant winds up being a superstar and decides to ply his trade elsewhere, it won't be because the Cubs can't afford him.

Right but why not put that off till 2021 instead of 2020 anyway? The fact that you feel confident you might be able to re-sign him is no reason to bring that decision about any sooner than you have to. That's all any of us are trying to say. Scott Boras is just one factor in that decision, but he's definitely a factor.

I'm simply saying worry about it when it's time to worry about it. For now, Scott Boras doesn't matter until it's time to sit down and talk turkey. and if Bryant Priors out, that might not even happen.

And I never said keeping him down isn't a good idea, it's using the system as designed. if the MLBPA wants to bitch, too bad. They signed the CBA, and either they didn't understand this risk, or they accepted it. Bryant is neither the first nor the last who will have to spend more time than is necessary in order to be under control by their team for an extra year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on March 17, 2015, 12:36:29 PM
Quote from: Eli on March 17, 2015, 08:14:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 17, 2015, 08:09:06 AM
so I capitalize first letters for emphasis instead.

That makes No sense.

I have told Sko this so Many times.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 21, 2015, 03:27:17 PM
Since a lot of his homers have come against bums this spring, how about a two-run shot off Felix Damn Hernandez. That do anything for you?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on March 23, 2015, 10:34:53 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:49:26 AM
Quote from: PANK! on March 23, 2015, 10:34:53 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.

Look, if we're not shaming people anymore, we may as well shut it all down.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on March 23, 2015, 11:09:33 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:49:26 AM
Quote from: PANK! on March 23, 2015, 10:34:53 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.

Look, if we're not shaming people anymore, we may as well shut it all down.

There is a time and place for that sort of behavior. For Huard, it's between the chalk lines of the softball diamond as soon as the shit hits the fan.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on March 23, 2015, 11:10:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


HOW DARE HE MENTION SNORK AND BRYANT IN THE SAME SENTENCE?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 23, 2015, 11:39:23 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

Still true.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 11:39:23 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

Still true.

First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 11:55:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 11:39:23 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

Still true.

First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

It's like he was created solely to troll you.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:58:17 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 11:55:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 11:39:23 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

Still true.

First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

It's like he was created solely to troll you.

The moment he got out of his car my wife immediately leaned over to me and was like "no. Just no. Don't even think about it." But, I mean, you all agree he made me, right?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 23, 2015, 12:39:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:58:17 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 11:55:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 11:39:23 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

Still true.

First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

It's like he was created solely to troll you.

The moment he got out of his car my wife immediately leaned over to me and was like "no. Just no. Don't even think about it." But, I mean, you all agree he made me, right?

Clearest case of provocation I've ever seen.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 23, 2015, 01:29:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

Tebow playoff wins per season: 0.33
Cutler playoff wins per season: 0.11
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 01:31:29 PM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 01:29:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

Tebow playoff wins per season: 0.33
Cutler playoff wins per season: 0.11

As a Steelers fan and Cutler hater, this post has me so conflicted.

Ultimately, the hope that it makes SKO's head explode wins out.

+1.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on March 23, 2015, 01:31:58 PM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 01:29:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

Tebow playoff wins per season: 0.33
Cutler playoff wins per season: 0.11

Well now, that's just plain provocative.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 23, 2015, 01:42:41 PM
Quote from: CT III on March 23, 2015, 01:31:58 PM
Quote from: Eli on March 23, 2015, 01:29:22 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 11:54:06 AM
First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.

Tebow playoff wins per season: 0.33
Cutler playoff wins per season: 0.11

Well now, that's just plain provocative.

Actually the best Pro-Tebow argument ever was from the guy who added all of his rushing touchdowns to his passing TDs and then argued that he had more touchdowns per game than X number of hall of fame QBs who didn't serve as their own goal line RB. It was a hilarious misunderstanding of stats, but it was still at least a use of stats.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on March 23, 2015, 02:57:04 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 23, 2015, 11:09:33 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:49:26 AM
Quote from: PANK! on March 23, 2015, 10:34:53 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on March 23, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 23, 2015, 08:21:07 AM
Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.


One of my favorites.

(http://easycaptures.com/fs/uploaded/782/1937829850.jpg)

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.

Look, if we're not shaming people anymore, we may as well shut it all down.

There is a time and place for that sort of behavior. For Huard, it's between the chalk lines of the softball diamond as soon as the shit hits the fan during a work-related phone call with the person's sister.

Pick a lane'd
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on March 25, 2015, 08:33:36 PM
In which Theo basically says (http://www.csnchicago.com/cubs/cubs-theo-epstein-responds-scott-boras%E2%80%99-criticism-kris-bryant-situation) Bryant isn't starting the year in the majors:

Quote"Beyond that, Scott has a forum and obviously people are publishing what he says. He has a job to do and he has a great client who is a fantastic kid. The person who is handling this with the most professionalism and maturity is Kris Bryant. I couldn't be more proud of how he is handling a very difficult situation. He is getting asked about it every day. He doesn't get to just go focus on playing the game; he is asked about this from all corners and he is handling himself in a way that makes the Cubs proud.

...

"As far as when Kris makes his major league debut and whether it will be part of this Opening Day roster, we haven't put that final roster together yet," Epstein said. "I can say this: This is my 13th time putting a team together at the end of spring training and I have never once put a young prospect on an Opening Day roster when he had to make his major league debut (with the exception of a Rule 5 player).

"We've broken in some pretty good young players over the years from Kevin Youkilis to Hanley Ramirez to Dustin Pedroia to Jacoby Ellsbury to Jon Lester to Jonathan Papelbon and we have always given them the benefit of getting into the season in the minor leagues and getting into a good rhythm whether that is on the mound or offensively or defensively and playing in games that count rather than just spring training. We want to let them get into the flow of the season and then we try to pick just the right moment, in our opinion, to have them come up and make their major league debut.

"A major league debut is a sense of time and if it doesn't go quite the right way and if you don't put them in the right position to succeed, you can get in the way of their whole integration into the major leagues and it's something we take seriously. I've never once done it. I've never put a young prospect in a position to make his major league debut on Opening Day. Opening Day, when it is cold out and there is a lot of attention and even veteran players don't feel like themselves, they're not quite into the flow of the season yet.

"I've never done it and it's always been for baseball reasons. This is not a different situation than we've faced in the past, so let's make the best decision for the Chicago Cubs and for Kris Bryant's development."

If you watch the video on the page, it's really kind of an amazing soundbite, how clearly he lays out all of his talking points. If Theo gets bored with baseball, he could probably get into politics.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on March 25, 2015, 09:07:44 PM
Quote from: Eli on March 25, 2015, 08:33:36 PM
In which Theo basically says (http://www.csnchicago.com/cubs/cubs-theo-epstein-responds-scott-boras%E2%80%99-criticism-kris-bryant-situation) Bryant isn't starting the year in the majors:

Quote"Beyond that, Scott has a forum and obviously people are publishing what he says. He has a job to do and he has a great client who is a fantastic kid. The person who is handling this with the most professionalism and maturity is Kris Bryant. I couldn't be more proud of how he is handling a very difficult situation. He is getting asked about it every day. He doesn't get to just go focus on playing the game; he is asked about this from all corners and he is handling himself in a way that makes the Cubs proud.

...

"As far as when Kris makes his major league debut and whether it will be part of this Opening Day roster, we haven't put that final roster together yet," Epstein said. "I can say this: This is my 13th time putting a team together at the end of spring training and I have never once put a young prospect on an Opening Day roster when he had to make his major league debut (with the exception of a Rule 5 player).

"We've broken in some pretty good young players over the years from Kevin Youkilis to Hanley Ramirez to Dustin Pedroia to Jacoby Ellsbury to Jon Lester to Jonathan Papelbon and we have always given them the benefit of getting into the season in the minor leagues and getting into a good rhythm whether that is on the mound or offensively or defensively and playing in games that count rather than just spring training. We want to let them get into the flow of the season and then we try to pick just the right moment, in our opinion, to have them come up and make their major league debut.

"A major league debut is a sense of time and if it doesn't go quite the right way and if you don't put them in the right position to succeed, you can get in the way of their whole integration into the major leagues and it's something we take seriously. I've never once done it. I've never put a young prospect in a position to make his major league debut on Opening Day. Opening Day, when it is cold out and there is a lot of attention and even veteran players don't feel like themselves, they're not quite into the flow of the season yet.

"I've never done it and it's always been for baseball reasons. This is not a different situation than we've faced in the past, so let's make the best decision for the Chicago Cubs and for Kris Bryant's development."

If you watch the video on the page, it's really kind of an amazing soundbite, how clearly he lays out all of his talking points. If Theo gets bored with baseball, he could probably get into politics.

SWOON
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on March 26, 2015, 07:51:20 AM
Quote from: Eli on March 25, 2015, 08:33:36 PM
In which Theo basically says (http://www.csnchicago.com/cubs/cubs-theo-epstein-responds-scott-boras%E2%80%99-criticism-kris-bryant-situation) Bryant isn't starting the year in the majors:

Quote"Beyond that, Scott has a forum and obviously people are publishing what he says. He has a job to do and he has a great client who is a fantastic kid. The person who is handling this with the most professionalism and maturity is Kris Bryant. I couldn't be more proud of how he is handling a very difficult situation. He is getting asked about it every day. He doesn't get to just go focus on playing the game; he is asked about this from all corners and he is handling himself in a way that makes the Cubs proud.

...

"As far as when Kris makes his major league debut and whether it will be part of this Opening Day roster, we haven't put that final roster together yet," Epstein said. "I can say this: This is my 13th time putting a team together at the end of spring training and I have never once put a young prospect on an Opening Day roster when he had to make his major league debut (with the exception of a Rule 5 player).

"We've broken in some pretty good young players over the years from Kevin Youkilis to Hanley Ramirez to Dustin Pedroia to Jacoby Ellsbury to Jon Lester to Jonathan Papelbon and we have always given them the benefit of getting into the season in the minor leagues and getting into a good rhythm whether that is on the mound or offensively or defensively and playing in games that count rather than just spring training. We want to let them get into the flow of the season and then we try to pick just the right moment, in our opinion, to have them come up and make their major league debut.

"A major league debut is a sense of time and if it doesn't go quite the right way and if you don't put them in the right position to succeed, you can get in the way of their whole integration into the major leagues and it's something we take seriously. I've never once done it. I've never put a young prospect in a position to make his major league debut on Opening Day. Opening Day, when it is cold out and there is a lot of attention and even veteran players don't feel like themselves, they're not quite into the flow of the season yet.

"I've never done it and it's always been for baseball reasons. This is not a different situation than we've faced in the past, so let's make the best decision for the Chicago Cubs and for Kris Bryant's development."

If you watch the video on the page, it's really kind of an amazing soundbite, how clearly he lays out all of his talking points. If Theo gets bored with baseball, he could probably get into politics.

That's the most eloquent "fuck you" I've seen for a while.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 30, 2015, 12:01:53 PM
Per MLB.com alert, Bryant has been reassigned to Minor League camp. Let the hot takes begin.

Meanwhile, Javier Baez has been optioned to Triple-A Iowa, which to me is the right call. Maybe he can pull off what Rizzo did, when he came up, stank, went back down, and established himself after his next call-up.

Update: Addison Russell also reassigned, but that's not a surprise.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on March 30, 2015, 03:16:06 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?

What's wrong with using "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning to season yourself?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 04:29:08 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?

What makes you think I won't?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on March 31, 2015, 08:44:23 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?
The whole actual beer cheddar?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 31, 2015, 09:02:22 AM
Quote from: Bort on March 31, 2015, 08:44:23 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?
The whole actual beer cheddar?

I'm confident that I can go north of Antioch and find an actual thing called beer cheddar.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on March 31, 2015, 10:17:42 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 31, 2015, 09:02:22 AM
Quote from: Bort on March 31, 2015, 08:44:23 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?
The whole actual beer cheddar?

I'm confident that I can go north of Antioch and find an actual thing called beer cheddar.

That seasoning was just ok. The actual beer, cheddar and bacon were pretty magnificent. Will stick with garlic salt and black pepper next rip.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 13, 2015, 09:50:03 PM
DA CUBS WOULD RATHER PLAY KHRIS COGLAND AT THIRD BASE THEN PROMOTE CHRIS BRIAN JUST TO SAVE A COUPLE BUCKS!  TOO DUMB AND CHEAP TO WIN!!!  FUCK YOO THEOOOOOOOO
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 08:11:54 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 31, 2015, 10:17:42 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 31, 2015, 09:02:22 AM
Quote from: Bort on March 31, 2015, 08:44:23 AM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 03:12:53 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on March 30, 2015, 01:35:51 PM
Quote from: Fork on March 30, 2015, 01:15:01 PM
Bryant was striking out at the same rate as Junior Lake, so clearly he's in need of some seasoning.

I bought some "beer, cheddar and bacon" seasoning at Mariano's yesterday because I'm making cheeseburgers tonight. I could of done without it, you see, but a little seasoning sometimes it's good for everybody!

Why not buy actual beer cheddar and bacon, and season yourself?
The whole actual beer cheddar?

I'm confident that I can go north of Antioch and find an actual thing called beer cheddar.

That seasoning was just ok. The actual beer, cheddar and bacon were pretty magnificent. Will stick with garlic salt and black pepper next rip.
You could of done with it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:16:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.

He had 2 errors at 3rd last night. His bat will more than make up for it, but I'm not sold he'll be the first up if LaStella has to go on the DL.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2015, 10:19:57 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:16:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.

He had 2 errors at 3rd last night. His bat will more than make up for it, but I'm not sold he'll be the first up if LaStella has to go on the DL.

I'm saying he's coming up this month regardless, but while I expected them to pad it for a few days after the 17th so they could always say "well if it was just about service time why didn't we call him up that day?" in any future grievance, but DL'ing La Stella and creating a pressing need for another IF is a very solid baseball reason to say "well that's why we called him up that day"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 14, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:16:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.

He had 2 errors at 3rd last night. His bat will more than make up for it, but I'm not sold he'll be the first up if LaStella has to go on the DL.

Is that because you don't think he's ready, or just because they want a safety net against the service time arguments?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:58:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:16:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.

He had 2 errors at 3rd last night. His bat will more than make up for it, but I'm not sold he'll be the first up if LaStella has to go on the DL.

Is that because you don't think he's ready, or just because they want a safety net against the service time arguments?

Oh, he's ready. He's clearly ready. He might be a crappy fielder, but 2 weeks in Iowa isn't going to fix that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 14, 2015, 11:01:49 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:58:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:16:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.

He had 2 errors at 3rd last night. His bat will more than make up for it, but I'm not sold he'll be the first up if LaStella has to go on the DL.

Is that because you don't think he's ready, or just because they want a safety net against the service time arguments?

Oh, he's ready. He's clearly ready. He might be a crappy fielder, but 2 weeks in Iowa isn't going to fix that.

I expect them to troll the universe with a Chris Valaika call up any minute now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 11:04:10 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 14, 2015, 11:01:49 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:58:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 10:16:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 09:55:01 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 09:50:51 AM
You guys...you guys...do you realize that this Friday could be the day our splooshes sploosh for real?

I'm definitely not counting on La Stella's injury to get better by then, that's for damn sure.

He had 2 errors at 3rd last night. His bat will more than make up for it, but I'm not sold he'll be the first up if LaStella has to go on the DL.

Is that because you don't think he's ready, or just because they want a safety net against the service time arguments?

Oh, he's ready. He's clearly ready. He might be a crappy fielder, but 2 weeks in Iowa isn't going to fix that.

I expect them to troll the universe with a Chris Valaika call up any minute now.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 14, 2015, 11:19:59 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.

If they think that, it's only because of defense. And if that's the case, he should probably stay down there for another year or two.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2015, 11:23:38 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

Well there is such a thing as a good faith clause in the CBA as far as the demotion to Iowa goes, so in much the same way you'll never get Theo or Jed to say out loud "we're not keeping him down for service time reasons" they probably won't call him up the exact day he's eligible. While a grievance case is unlikely to be filed and even less likely to be successful, it wouldn't help the Cubs case to say "it wasn't about service time" and then call him on the 13th league day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 11:24:24 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

24th is my bet. 

But will be happy to be wrong if it's sooner.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:29:59 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 11:24:24 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

24th is my bet. 

But will be happy to be wrong if it's sooner.

Mine, too. Just means I'm going to the last game ever at Wrigley Field in which the Cubs won't have Kris Bryant on their roster.  Will get to see him for the first time on the 29th.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 14, 2015, 11:32:07 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:29:59 AM
I'm going to the last game ever at Wrigley Field in which the Cubs won't have Kris Bryant on their roster.

I know we all have high expectations for Bryant, but immortality seems unreasonable.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 14, 2015, 11:32:47 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 11:32:07 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:29:59 AM
I'm going to the last game ever at Wrigley Field in which the Cubs won't have Kris Bryant on their roster.

I know we all have high expectations for Bryant, but immortality seems unreasonable.

I think Chuck may be putting a 20 year life expectancy on Wrigley.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 14, 2015, 11:49:34 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 11:32:07 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:29:59 AM
I'm going to the last game ever at Wrigley Field in which the Cubs won't have Kris Bryant on their roster.

I know we all have high expectations for Bryant, but immortality seems unreasonable.

*Adds Chuck to his Deadpool 2016 list*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 12:13:29 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

I was at Baez's debut last year. It was nuts. People were there very early (and not just for the bobble head giveaway) to watch him take BP. When he had his first AB, there was a huge cheer, some standing. Everything was magnified.

Now, make that during the young man's first MLB game? Add in a throng of pre-game media the bulk of which covers the home team. It's a lot for a person.  That's why Theo breaks them in on the road.  By the time the adulation rains down on they, they've had 3+ games under their belt.

Makes sense to me.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 12:22:55 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 12:13:29 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

I was at Baez's debut last year. It was nuts. People were there very early (and not just for the bobble head giveaway) to watch him take BP. When he had his first AB, there was a huge cheer, some standing. Everything was magnified.

Now, make that during the young man's first MLB game? Add in a throng of pre-game media the bulk of which covers the home team. It's a lot for a person.  That's why Theo breaks them in on the road.  By the time the adulation rains down on they, they've had 3+ games under their belt.

Makes sense to me.

I guess I'm just going to keep agreeing with Chuck and assume that today is the day the world ends.

This sure seems like Theo's MO so far.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2015, 12:25:57 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 12:22:55 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 12:13:29 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

I was at Baez's debut last year. It was nuts. People were there very early (and not just for the bobble head giveaway) to watch him take BP. When he had his first AB, there was a huge cheer, some standing. Everything was magnified.

Now, make that during the young man's first MLB game? Add in a throng of pre-game media the bulk of which covers the home team. It's a lot for a person.  That's why Theo breaks them in on the road.  By the time the adulation rains down on they, they've had 3+ games under their belt.

Makes sense to me.

I guess I'm just going to keep agreeing with Chuck and assume that today is the day the world ends.

This sure seems like Theo's MO so far.

Yeah I kind of agree here, too. It's definitely in keeping with what Theo usually does. Youk and Pedroia were probably the two most heralded rookies of the Theo Era in Boston and both debuted on the road. Javy, Mendy, and Soler debuted on the road. Rizzo was called up at home for the Cubs but had already been in the bigs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 12:44:31 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.

Can't? No. Won't? Yes.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 14, 2015, 12:52:28 PM
Quote from: Some shit I found on the internet
Coghlan also made his big league debut on the road, and he credited Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein for planning that for Soler.

"He's smart with that stuff," Coghlan said of Epstein. "Another thing is that each guy who has come up has come to a hitter-friendly park. I don't think that's by accident. I think on the road is smart. There's a little bit less pressure. As soon as he goes home, there will be 50 people at his locker. It's better to make it on the road, then go home after a couple days and you still deal with it, but it's not as crazy."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2015, 12:53:51 PM
Jed Lowrie made his debut on the road, too. Just about every moderate-to-highly touted rookie position player who has played for Theo Epstein that I can find played their first career game on the road.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 14, 2015, 12:56:31 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 12:25:57 PM
Yeah I kind of agree here, too. It's definitely in keeping with what Theo usually does. Youk and Pedroia were probably the two most heralded rookies of the Theo Era in Boston and both debuted on the road. Javy, Mendy, and Soler debuted on the road. Rizzo was called up at home for the Cubs but had already been in the bigs.

Intrepid Readers: Clay Buccholz, Jacoby Ellsbury, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Hanley Ramirez

"Hi."

Buchholz (#4 prospect) and Ellsbury (#13 prospect) both debuted at Fenway. Hanley and Daisuke debuted on the road.

Pedroia topped out at #77 and Youkilis never appeared on one of BA's Top 100 lists (although I do remember reading about "The Greek God of Walks" when he was in the minors).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2015, 12:59:17 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 14, 2015, 12:56:31 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 14, 2015, 12:25:57 PM
Yeah I kind of agree here, too. It's definitely in keeping with what Theo usually does. Youk and Pedroia were probably the two most heralded rookies of the Theo Era in Boston and both debuted on the road. Javy, Mendy, and Soler debuted on the road. Rizzo was called up at home for the Cubs but had already been in the bigs.

Intrepid Readers: Clay Buccholz, Jacoby Ellsbury, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Hanley Ramirez

"Hi."

Buchholz (#4 prospect) and Ellsbury (#13 prospect) both debuted at Fenway. Hanley and Daisuke debuted on the road.

Pedroia topped out at #77 and Youkilis never appeared on one of BA's Top 100 lists (although I do remember reading about "The Greek God of Walks" when he was in the minors).

I said position players for a reason, possible he thinks pitchers have a higher comfort level at home, maybe? As far as Daisuke, when Theo was talking about "never having a rookie break camp with one of his teams" back when he was talking about Bryant in the spring he specifically said "with the exception of players from Japan," whom he apparently doesn't consider rookies.

I also completely forgot Hanley's 2 games with the Red Sox. In my mind he debuted with the Marlins. My bad.

So of the position players it's

Road:
Youk
Hanley
Pedroia
Lowrie
Baez
Soler
Alcantara

Home:
Jacoby Ellsbury.

Could mean nothing, could also mean not nothing. Let's see how this plays out.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that. I can wait. Then, there's this:

*(There's another factor here, as Jesse Rogers reports. If there happened to be an end-of-season tiebreaker, Rogers indicates that the regular season would be extended by a day or two, thus giving Bryant – if he were called up on Friday or Saturday – a full service year in 2015. I was not aware that the regular season, for service time purposes, was literally extended by tiebreaker games. As BN'er Hansman points out in the comments on an earlier post, the CBA's definition of the season for service time purposes is: "Major League service will be computed commencing with the date of the first regularly scheduled championship season game, through and including the date of the last regularly scheduled championship season game." Seems like, by that definition, a tiebreaker game – not being "regularly scheduled" – wouldn't impact the service year. I don't doubt that Rogers got his information from a good source, so I suspect he may be right for reasons we can't see in the CBA language.)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on April 14, 2015, 01:25:33 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that. I can wait. Then, there's this:

*(There's another factor here, as Jesse Rogers reports. If there happened to be an end-of-season tiebreaker, Rogers indicates that the regular season would be extended by a day or two, thus giving Bryant – if he were called up on Friday or Saturday – a full service year in 2015. I was not aware that the regular season, for service time purposes, was literally extended by tiebreaker games. As BN'er Hansman points out in the comments on an earlier post, the CBA's definition of the season for service time purposes is: "Major League service will be computed commencing with the date of the first regularly scheduled championship season game, through and including the date of the last regularly scheduled championship season game." Seems like, by that definition, a tiebreaker game – not being "regularly scheduled" – wouldn't impact the service year. I don't doubt that Rogers got his information from a good source, so I suspect he may be right for reasons we can't see in the CBA language.)

I doubt this very much.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 14, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that.

Just bring him up for Pittsburgh. It seems a little precious to futz about park factors and stuff for a guy who's hit like 65 homers in the last calendar year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on April 14, 2015, 03:14:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that.

Just bring him up for Pittsburgh. It seems a little precious to futz about park factors and stuff for a guy who's hit like 65 homers in the last calendar year.

Or bring him up on Friday, so I can tell my ungrateful asshole grandchildren that I was there for the home debut of both Baez and Bryant, before they peel out on their hoverbikes so fast that I fall off the edge of the moon.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 14, 2015, 03:40:26 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 14, 2015, 01:25:33 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that. I can wait. Then, there's this:

*(There's another factor here, as Jesse Rogers reports. If there happened to be an end-of-season tiebreaker, Rogers indicates that the regular season would be extended by a day or two, thus giving Bryant – if he were called up on Friday or Saturday – a full service year in 2015. I was not aware that the regular season, for service time purposes, was literally extended by tiebreaker games. As BN'er Hansman points out in the comments on an earlier post, the CBA's definition of the season for service time purposes is: "Major League service will be computed commencing with the date of the first regularly scheduled championship season game, through and including the date of the last regularly scheduled championship season game." Seems like, by that definition, a tiebreaker game – not being "regularly scheduled" – wouldn't impact the service year. I don't doubt that Rogers got his information from a good source, so I suspect he may be right for reasons we can't see in the CBA language.)

I doubt this very much.

If a team has to play a tiebreaker game, don't the stats count in the regular season stats? It might be an extension of the regular season, in which case Jesse is...right?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 03:40:42 PM
Quote from: R-V on April 14, 2015, 03:14:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that.

Just bring him up for Pittsburgh. It seems a little precious to futz about park factors and stuff for a guy who's hit like 65 homers in the last calendar year.

Or bring him up on Friday, so I can tell my ungrateful asshole grandchildren that I was there for the home debut of both Baez and Bryant, before they peel out on their hoverbikes so fast that I fall off the edge of the moon.

Oh yeah?  Well, if he comes up on Friday, I can tell my dog's children that I was at the MAJOR LEAGUE debuts of both Baez and Bryant!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: J. Walter Weatherman on April 14, 2015, 05:03:22 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 03:40:42 PM
Quote from: R-V on April 14, 2015, 03:14:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that.

Just bring him up for Pittsburgh. It seems a little precious to futz about park factors and stuff for a guy who's hit like 65 homers in the last calendar year.

Or bring him up on Friday, so I can tell my ungrateful asshole grandchildren that I was there for the home debut of both Baez and Bryant, before they peel out on their hoverbikes so fast that I fall off the edge of the moon.

Oh yeah?  Well, if he comes up on Friday, I can tell my dog's children that I was at the MAJOR LEAGUE debuts of both Baez and Bryant!

OLEG PLANNED AN ENTIRE TRIP AROUND THIS, YOU STUPID EPSTINK.

I hope he debuts Saturday.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 05:45:47 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 14, 2015, 05:03:22 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 03:40:42 PM
Quote from: R-V on April 14, 2015, 03:14:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that.

Just bring him up for Pittsburgh. It seems a little precious to futz about park factors and stuff for a guy who's hit like 65 homers in the last calendar year.

Or bring him up on Friday, so I can tell my ungrateful asshole grandchildren that I was there for the home debut of both Baez and Bryant, before they peel out on their hoverbikes so fast that I fall off the edge of the moon.

Oh yeah?  Well, if he comes up on Friday, I can tell my dog's children that I was at the MAJOR LEAGUE debuts of both Baez and Bryant!

OLEG PLANNED AN ENTIRE TRIP AROUND THIS, YOU STUPID EPSTINK.

I hope he debuts Saturday.

That would work, too!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 14, 2015, 06:31:49 PM
La Stella DL, Rosscup up.  Theo bones Bryant again.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 15, 2015, 08:05:43 AM
I remember talking jersey numbers about Bryant, but I'm not sure which thread and I'm too lazy to go looking through them all to find it.

Anyway, Bryant's jersey number for Iowa this year is #17. Last season, he wore #19 for Iowa. I'm just saying, he's obviously thinking of ME if he throws over that #17 Cubs jersey on April 17th or thereafter.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 15, 2015, 08:10:10 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 05:45:47 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on April 14, 2015, 05:03:22 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 03:40:42 PM
Quote from: R-V on April 14, 2015, 03:14:02 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 14, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 14, 2015, 01:15:02 PM
Look, if they want to debut Kris Bryant in Cincinnati so he can hit every baseball he sees back to Chicago I'm okay with that.

Just bring him up for Pittsburgh. It seems a little precious to futz about park factors and stuff for a guy who's hit like 65 homers in the last calendar year.

Or bring him up on Friday, so I can tell my ungrateful asshole grandchildren that I was there for the home debut of both Baez and Bryant, before they peel out on their hoverbikes so fast that I fall off the edge of the moon.

Oh yeah?  Well, if he comes up on Friday, I can tell my dog's children that I was at the MAJOR LEAGUE debuts of both Baez and Bryant!

OLEG PLANNED AN ENTIRE TRIP AROUND THIS, YOU STUPID EPSTINK.

I hope he debuts Saturday.

That would work, too!

Sunday. That's when I have tickets
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 09:15:47 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

I have to admit I had spent most of this first week hoping the Cubs lost by more than one run in any game they lost, because you just know last night's the game they're gonna point to if the Cubs miss the playoffs by a hair.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 15, 2015, 09:27:39 AM
La Stella's injury couple with Olt's means Bryant has to come up soon. You can't just keep trotting Herrera out at third base. They won't.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 15, 2015, 09:31:37 AM
Quote from: Slaky on April 15, 2015, 09:27:39 AM
La Stella's injury couple with Olt's means Bryant has to come up soon. You can't just keep trotting Herrera out at third base. They won't.

One more game ought to do it.  Tomorrow's a day off so...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on April 15, 2015, 09:41:28 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

I thought we were all reasonable people who could agree that Chris Coghlan is the ideal cleanup hitter? Jesus Eli, you really are a negative Ned.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 02:45:51 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

God, Chuck
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 15, 2015, 02:49:29 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

Nice gerund.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 02:49:41 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

Fuck. Even you know you're wrong.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 15, 2015, 03:10:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

What does "make them pay" even mean? Does he just need to make one team pay for all the others to not pitch around Soler, or will he need to go on a league-wide tour of payuppance with stops at each individual team before they stop pitching around Soler?

Anyway, Maddon will probably hit Bryant leadoff or something weird, making this all moot.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:18:32 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?

I think he might eventually but for now having Rizzo (who isn't swinging the bat well but is still getting on base a fuckton) ahead of Soler, who is swinging the bat well, makes sense. Honestly given Fowler and Rizzo's career OBPs those two at the top of the order make a hell of a lot of sense long term.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run. Schwarber's K rate is 8.1% lower than Bryant's.

And where does Russell fit in? Leadoff if Fowler doesn't come back?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 03:26:09 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Just cross out Fowler and replace him, as you do, with some other fast, black guy with good On Base % and a flat-billed cap.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 15, 2015, 03:29:37 PM
Mike Olt is out of the lineup again. I'm convinced Friday is the day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:30:37 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 03:26:09 PM
Just cross out Fowler and replace him

He's dead?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal. 

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal. 

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal. 

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.

I think they'd like that.  Not sure if he has a good season they get a 2 year deal. Someone could make a stupid offer.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:44:08 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal.  

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.

I think they'd like that.  Not sure if he has a good season they get a 2 year deal. Someone could make a stupid offer.

True. Frankly I don't know what CF would be available as 2016 stopgaps if they can't re-sign Fowler, but I'll bet actual money against them starting a prospect there on Opening Day. Almora doesn't see the majors till June of 2016 at the earliest, if he ever sees them as a Cub.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 03:47:49 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:44:08 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal. 

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.

I think they'd like that.  Not sure if he has a good season they get a 2 year deal. Someone could make a stupid offer.

True. Franly I don't know what CF would be available as 2016 stopgaps if they can't re-sign Fowler, but I'll bet actual money against them starting a prospect there on Opening Day. Almora doesn't see the majors till June of 2016 at the earliest, if he ever sees them as a Cub.

Don't call me Franly.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:55:35 PM
2016 MLB Free Agent CF:

QuoteEndy Chavez (38)
Rajai Davis (35)
Alejandro De Aza (32)
David DeJesus (36) – $5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Dexter Fowler (30)
Tony Gwynn Jr. (33)
Austin Jackson (29)
Nate McLouth (34) – $6.5MM club option with a $750K buyout
Gerardo Parra (29)
Colby Rasmus (29)
Cody Ross (35) – $9.5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Skip Schumaker (36) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Grady Sizemore (33)
Denard Span (32)
Drew Stubbs (31)
Ryan Sweeney (31) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Shane Victorino (35)
Jesus, they'd better pay up for Fowler.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 04:05:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:55:35 PM
2016 MLB Free Agent CF:

QuoteEndy Chavez (38)
Rajai Davis (35)
Alejandro De Aza (32)
David DeJesus (36) – $5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Dexter Fowler (30)
Tony Gwynn Jr. (33)
Austin Jackson (29)
Nate McLouth (34) – $6.5MM club option with a $750K buyout
Gerardo Parra (29)
Colby Rasmus (29)
Cody Ross (35) – $9.5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Skip Schumaker (36) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Grady Sizemore (33)
Denard Span (32)
Drew Stubbs (31)
Ryan Sweeney (31) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Shane Victorino (35)
Jesus, they'd better pay up for Fowler.

Span seems to be the best alternative.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/stats/batting/_/year/2014/position/cf/sort/onBasePct/order/true
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 04:07:47 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 04:05:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:55:35 PM
2016 MLB Free Agent CF:

QuoteEndy Chavez (38)
Rajai Davis (35)
Alejandro De Aza (32)
David DeJesus (36) – $5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Dexter Fowler (30)
Tony Gwynn Jr. (33)
Austin Jackson (29)
Nate McLouth (34) – $6.5MM club option with a $750K buyout
Gerardo Parra (29)
Colby Rasmus (29)
Cody Ross (35) – $9.5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Skip Schumaker (36) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Grady Sizemore (33)
Denard Span (32)
Drew Stubbs (31)
Ryan Sweeney (31) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Shane Victorino (35)
Jesus, they'd better pay up for Fowler.

Span seems to be the best alternative.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/stats/batting/_/year/2014/position/cf/sort/onBasePct/order/true

Yeah. Always possible they do another trade for a Fowler-type guy who only has a year or so left on his existing deal. I certainly didn't see the Fowler deal coming. I just would really like to know why Fork seems so sure Almora or whatever imaginary CF prospect they have in his brain is gonna run Fowler out of town, considering the most exciting thing Almora has done in the last year and a half is walk three times in his first 24 PAs this year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 04:13:18 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 04:07:47 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 04:05:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:55:35 PM
2016 MLB Free Agent CF:

QuoteEndy Chavez (38)
Rajai Davis (35)
Alejandro De Aza (32)
David DeJesus (36) – $5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Dexter Fowler (30)
Tony Gwynn Jr. (33)
Austin Jackson (29)
Nate McLouth (34) – $6.5MM club option with a $750K buyout
Gerardo Parra (29)
Colby Rasmus (29)
Cody Ross (35) – $9.5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Skip Schumaker (36) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Grady Sizemore (33)
Denard Span (32)
Drew Stubbs (31)
Ryan Sweeney (31) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Shane Victorino (35)
Jesus, they'd better pay up for Fowler.

Span seems to be the best alternative.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/stats/batting/_/year/2014/position/cf/sort/onBasePct/order/true

Yeah. Always possible they do another trade for a Fowler-type guy who only has a year or so left on his existing deal. I certainly didn't see the Fowler deal coming. I just would really like to know why Fork seems so sure Almora or whatever imaginary CF prospect they have in his brain is gonna run Fowler out of town, considering the most exciting thing Almora has done in the last year and a half is walk three times in his first 24 PAs this year.

This (http://atmlb.com/1b47bRO) is pretty dope.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 04:14:57 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 04:13:18 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 04:07:47 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 04:05:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:55:35 PM
2016 MLB Free Agent CF:

QuoteEndy Chavez (38)
Rajai Davis (35)
Alejandro De Aza (32)
David DeJesus (36) – $5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Dexter Fowler (30)
Tony Gwynn Jr. (33)
Austin Jackson (29)
Nate McLouth (34) – $6.5MM club option with a $750K buyout
Gerardo Parra (29)
Colby Rasmus (29)
Cody Ross (35) – $9.5MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Skip Schumaker (36) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Grady Sizemore (33)
Denard Span (32)
Drew Stubbs (31)
Ryan Sweeney (31) – $2.5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Shane Victorino (35)
Jesus, they'd better pay up for Fowler.

Span seems to be the best alternative.

http://espn.go.com/mlb/stats/batting/_/year/2014/position/cf/sort/onBasePct/order/true

Yeah. Always possible they do another trade for a Fowler-type guy who only has a year or so left on his existing deal. I certainly didn't see the Fowler deal coming. I just would really like to know why Fork seems so sure Almora or whatever imaginary CF prospect they have in his brain is gonna run Fowler out of town, considering the most exciting thing Almora has done in the last year and a half is walk three times in his first 24 PAs this year.

This (http://atmlb.com/1b47bRO) is pretty dope.

Cool. He can be Dexter Fowler's late inning defensive replacement. Juan Pierre's AA OPS was 139 points higher than Almora's, and he stole 47 bags to Almora's....0. So Yeah, pretty excited for 2016 Opening Day Starter in Center Field Albert Almora.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 15, 2015, 04:51:00 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:44:08 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal.  

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.

I think they'd like that.  Not sure if he has a good season they get a 2 year deal. Someone could make a stupid offer.

True. Frankly I don't know what CF would be available as 2016 stopgaps if they can't re-sign Fowler, but I'll bet actual money against them starting a prospect there on Opening Day. Almora doesn't see the majors till June of 2016 at the earliest, if he ever sees them as a Cub.

September 2016, mayyyyybe. He's 20 and he's not on a fast track.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 05:25:41 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 04:51:00 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:44:08 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal.  

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.

I think they'd like that.  Not sure if he has a good season they get a 2 year deal. Someone could make a stupid offer.

True. Frankly I don't know what CF would be available as 2016 stopgaps if they can't re-sign Fowler, but I'll bet actual money against them starting a prospect there on Opening Day. Almora doesn't see the majors till June of 2016 at the earliest, if he ever sees them as a Cub.

September 2016, mayyyyybe. He's 20 and he's not on a fast track.

Gleybar Torres will be ready for CF by then. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 06:35:08 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 04:51:00 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:44:08 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:38:56 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 15, 2015, 03:37:11 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 03:36:20 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 03:20:40 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 15, 2015, 03:16:09 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:47:03 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 02:39:01 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 15, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 15, 2015, 02:18:00 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 15, 2015, 09:06:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 15, 2015, 08:59:46 AM
Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

You don't think Maddon will go R/L/R with Soler, Rizzo and Bryant?
He might. I do love Soler batting second. But I could also see Fowler (S), Rizzo (L), Soler (R), Schwarber (L), Bryant (R) in the long run.

Don't think Fowler and Schwarber will ever sit in the same clubhouse.

Who is playing centerfield next year? You just comfortable with running a guy who has yet to prove he can hit AA pitching out in center next year on a team we all hope is a World Series contender? Because I'm not seeing options I like better than a Dexter Fowler extension.

I think Fowler gets a 2-3 year deal and then doesn't make it until the end of the deal.  

But he's the best for now and probably the next 1-2.

Yeah, barring Fowler having a terrible year, I'm putting my money on a modest extension. He'll be the CF till they have an upgrade and they just don't have one right now.

I think they'd like that.  Not sure if he has a good season they get a 2 year deal. Someone could make a stupid offer.

True. Frankly I don't know what CF would be available as 2016 stopgaps if they can't re-sign Fowler, but I'll bet actual money against them starting a prospect there on Opening Day. Almora doesn't see the majors till June of 2016 at the earliest, if he ever sees them as a Cub.

September 2016, mayyyyybe. He's 20 and he's not on a fast track.

Okay then who the hell is playing center in your scenario till September 2016 if not Dexter Fowler?  Cuz I'm pretty sure Kyle Schwarber will be up before then
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:27:58 PM
Jesus Christ.

How about we get to May before we start building next year's team?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 09:34:52 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:27:58 PM
Jesus Christ.

How about we get to May before we start building next year's team?

We've been building next year's team for four years. What's crawled up your butt about it now?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:40:01 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 09:34:52 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:27:58 PM
Jesus Christ.

How about we get to May before we start building next year's team?

We've been building next year's team for four years. What's crawled up your butt about it now?

I started paying attention again.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 15, 2015, 09:41:57 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:40:01 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 09:34:52 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:27:58 PM
Jesus Christ.

How about we get to May before we start building next year's team?

We've been building next year's team for four years. What's crawled up your butt about it now?

I started paying attention again.

I'm not trying to build next year's team, I'm just trying to figure out ForkLogic. Joke's on me.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 15, 2015, 10:14:52 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 15, 2015, 09:41:57 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:40:01 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 15, 2015, 09:34:52 PM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:27:58 PM
Jesus Christ.

How about we get to May before we start building next year's team?

We've been building next year's team for four years. What's crawled up your butt about it now?

I started paying attention again.

I'm not trying to build next year's team, I'm just trying to figure out ForkLogic. Joke's on me.

Maybe the Cubs extend Fowler. I just figure he's going to see about getting the most dough for the most years, and with guys a couple years away the Cubs might want another short-term veteran solution. You decided on your own that Almora was taking CF from Fowler.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 16, 2015, 08:33:23 AM
Quote from: CT III on April 15, 2015, 09:27:58 PM
Jesus Christ.

How about we get to May before we start building next year's team?

This is a 5 or 6 year window, minimum. Nothing wrong with speculating on who will be in CF in 2016 for the defending World Champs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 16, 2015, 10:22:08 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.

Still skeptical. Denorfia has said he's healthy and ready, so they can call him up instead if they want.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:40:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 16, 2015, 10:22:08 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.

Still skeptical. Denorfia has said he's healthy and ready, so they can call him up instead if they want.

They could, sure. But Denorfia doesn't really fill the real need at third. For some reason I thought he played some infield, but his BR page has no record of him on the infield.

I would say Chris Valaika could get called up if they truly wanted to troll us all, but he's not on the 40 man so it's the same roster situation as Bryant.

Mike Olt's playing time has been so sporadic I don't really know what to think about him...so, it just seems like this is all to perfect a situation for Bryant to be called up tomorrow.

And I know about the trend of calling up prospects on the road, but maybe the current needs of the team right now could be too important to worry about Kris Bryant having bubbleguts at Wrigley Field rather than Pittsburgh or Cincinnati.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 16, 2015, 10:47:16 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:40:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 16, 2015, 10:22:08 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.

Still skeptical. Denorfia has said he's healthy and ready, so they can call him up instead if they want.

They could, sure. But Denorfia doesn't really fill the real need at third. For some reason I thought he played some infield, but his BR page has no record of him on the infield.

I would say Chris Valaika could get called up if they truly wanted to troll us all, but he's not on the 40 man so it's the same roster situation as Bryant.

Mike Olt's playing time has been so sporadic I don't really know what to think about him...so, it just seems like this is all to perfect a situation for Bryant to be called up tomorrow.

And I know about the trend of calling up prospects on the road, but maybe the current needs of the team right now could be too important to worry about Kris Bryant having bubbleguts at Wrigley Field rather than Pittsburgh or Cincinnati.

Or we could wait a day and see how this plays out. Mike Olt has pinch hit several times and been a late inning replacement, and now he gets a day off to rest. Wouldn't be surprising in the slightest if he starts tomorrow and Bryant has to wait a bit longer.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2015, 10:47:16 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:40:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 16, 2015, 10:22:08 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.

Still skeptical. Denorfia has said he's healthy and ready, so they can call him up instead if they want.

They could, sure. But Denorfia doesn't really fill the real need at third. For some reason I thought he played some infield, but his BR page has no record of him on the infield.

I would say Chris Valaika could get called up if they truly wanted to troll us all, but he's not on the 40 man so it's the same roster situation as Bryant.

Mike Olt's playing time has been so sporadic I don't really know what to think about him...so, it just seems like this is all to perfect a situation for Bryant to be called up tomorrow.

And I know about the trend of calling up prospects on the road, but maybe the current needs of the team right now could be too important to worry about Kris Bryant having bubbleguts at Wrigley Field rather than Pittsburgh or Cincinnati.

Or we could wait a day and see how this plays out. Mike Olt has pinch hit several times and been a late inning replacement, and now he gets a day off to rest. Wouldn't be surprising in the slightest if he starts tomorrow and Bryant has to wait a bit longer.

Okay, fine...I've said everything I could possibly say that makes sense for the Cubs to do this tomorrow without being a meatball. So, I'll just say it. I just really want this to happen tomorrow.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 16, 2015, 10:53:24 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2015, 10:47:16 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:40:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 16, 2015, 10:22:08 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.

Still skeptical. Denorfia has said he's healthy and ready, so they can call him up instead if they want.

They could, sure. But Denorfia doesn't really fill the real need at third. For some reason I thought he played some infield, but his BR page has no record of him on the infield.

I would say Chris Valaika could get called up if they truly wanted to troll us all, but he's not on the 40 man so it's the same roster situation as Bryant.

Mike Olt's playing time has been so sporadic I don't really know what to think about him...so, it just seems like this is all to perfect a situation for Bryant to be called up tomorrow.

And I know about the trend of calling up prospects on the road, but maybe the current needs of the team right now could be too important to worry about Kris Bryant having bubbleguts at Wrigley Field rather than Pittsburgh or Cincinnati.

Or we could wait a day and see how this plays out. Mike Olt has pinch hit several times and been a late inning replacement, and now he gets a day off to rest. Wouldn't be surprising in the slightest if he starts tomorrow and Bryant has to wait a bit longer.

Okay, fine...I've said everything I could possibly say that makes sense for the Cubs to do this tomorrow without being a meatball. So, I'll just say it. I just really want this to happen tomorrow.

We know, son. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with these feelings. They're perfectly natural and normal.

And I have tickets to the Iowa Cubs tomorrow so I have my own reasons. Although even with that I'd still rather see him in Chicago sooner rather than later, but it's a hell of a consolation prize.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 16, 2015, 11:00:22 AM
At this point, I hope he comes up to Chicago today, just so's you cunts will stop pontificating about it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 16, 2015, 11:26:34 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 16, 2015, 11:00:22 AM
At this point, I hope he comes up to Chicago today, just so's you cunts will stop pontificating about it.

I hope someone writes something about the Cubs keeping him down longer to safeguard from Super 2, just to watch heads explode.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on April 16, 2015, 11:43:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2015, 10:53:24 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2015, 10:47:16 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:40:10 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 16, 2015, 10:22:08 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 10:16:12 AM
Neil Ramirez needs an MRI on his shoulder (this is a really big sads, though). The Cubs are at 13 pitchers already with Rosscup getting called up for La Stella. "Shoulder discomfort" most probably means disabled list for Ramirez, if not death. So, he gone.

There is a strong possibility the Zephyrs/I-Cubs get rained on today. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day.

Still skeptical. Denorfia has said he's healthy and ready, so they can call him up instead if they want.

They could, sure. But Denorfia doesn't really fill the real need at third. For some reason I thought he played some infield, but his BR page has no record of him on the infield.

I would say Chris Valaika could get called up if they truly wanted to troll us all, but he's not on the 40 man so it's the same roster situation as Bryant.

Mike Olt's playing time has been so sporadic I don't really know what to think about him...so, it just seems like this is all to perfect a situation for Bryant to be called up tomorrow.

And I know about the trend of calling up prospects on the road, but maybe the current needs of the team right now could be too important to worry about Kris Bryant having bubbleguts at Wrigley Field rather than Pittsburgh or Cincinnati.

Or we could wait a day and see how this plays out. Mike Olt has pinch hit several times and been a late inning replacement, and now he gets a day off to rest. Wouldn't be surprising in the slightest if he starts tomorrow and Bryant has to wait a bit longer.

Okay, fine...I've said everything I could possibly say that makes sense for the Cubs to do this tomorrow without being a meatball. So, I'll just say it. I just really want this to happen tomorrow.

We know, son. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with these feelings. They're perfectly natural and normal.

And I have tickets to the Iowa Cubs tomorrow so I have my own reasons. Although even with that I'd still rather see him in Chicago sooner rather than later, but it's a hell of a consolation prize.

And I have tickets for Wrigley tomorrow (and an extra it turns out) if any of you meatballs/chuckleheads/slapdicks have an interest...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 16, 2015, 02:54:35 PM
Bryant in the lineup in Iowa today.

(And Addison Russell at 2nd base for the first time.)

h/t @ThatYettiGuy
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 16, 2015, 03:02:28 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 16, 2015, 02:54:35 PM
Bryant in the lineup in Iowa today.

(And Addison Russell at 2nd base for the first time.)

h/t @ThatYettiGuy

On the one hand, yay for me for getting to see him play before he gets called up...but I'm bummed a little because it kinda does imply that he won't get called up tomorrow.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 16, 2015, 09:23:42 PM
Better cover the walls of this thread with plastic. There's bout to be some sploogin'
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bonk on April 17, 2015, 12:47:46 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2015, 09:23:42 PM
Better cover the walls of this thread with plastic. There's bout to be some sploogin'

I've got a serious stiffie.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 17, 2015, 12:53:03 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 17, 2015, 12:47:46 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2015, 09:23:42 PM
Better cover the walls of this thread with plastic. There's bout to be some sploogin'

I've got a serious stiffie.

He goes 0-for-5 with five strikeouts and six errors at third base tonight. Boras panics and agrees to a 15-year extension at $7 million per. Bryant goes on to win NL MVP, NLDS MVP, NLCS MVP, World Series MVP, each year, for the next twenty years as a Cub. Fin.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 01:03:00 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SUM MISTAKE.  DAT THEO GUY ONLY EVER CALLS GUYS UP ON THE ROAD!  ITS A TREND!  YOU CANT BUCK DA TREND, MY FRENTS!!!1!

(I'm not going to lie, I've been really, really looking forward to that, you fucking morans)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2015, 07:01:47 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 01:03:00 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SUM MISTAKE.  DAT THEO GUY ONLY EVER CALLS GUYS UP ON THE ROAD!  ITS A TREND!  YOU CANT BUCK DA TREND, MY FRENTS!!!1!

(I'm not going to lie, I've been really, really looking forward to that, you fucking morans)

Fortunately, I'm better at trend analysis at work than I am here. So I get to keep my house.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 07:15:29 AM
KRISMASTIME!!!!!

*Slips into his Sunday-best windpants*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 07:22:56 AM
I guess...I was right?

*Also, the HR he hit yesterday looked like he hit it off the end of the bat. If not for Addison Russell's 2-out single down the 3B line, Bryant doesn't get that AB in the game. I was close to hammered last night, so it's good to see I didn't dream the callup.

Oh, one more thing...Chris* tossed me a ball over the dugout.




















*Valaika
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 07:41:01 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 01:03:00 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SUM MISTAKE.  DAT THEO GUY ONLY EVER CALLS GUYS UP ON THE ROAD!  ITS A TREND!  YOU CANT BUCK DA TREND, MY FRENTS!!!1!

(I'm not going to lie, I've been really, really looking forward to that, you fucking morans)

Man who's been putting the muscle in Tonker's kangaroo venison lately?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 07:44:40 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 07:41:01 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 01:03:00 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SUM MISTAKE.  DAT THEO GUY ONLY EVER CALLS GUYS UP ON THE ROAD!  ITS A TREND!  YOU CANT BUCK DA TREND, MY FRENTS!!!1!

(I'm not going to lie, I've been really, really looking forward to that, you fucking morans)

Man who's been putting the muscle in Tonker's kangaroo venison lately?

Well, venison is muscle tissue, so ... the Kangaroo?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 07:46:43 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 07:44:40 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 07:41:01 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 01:03:00 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 14, 2015, 12:35:23 PM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 12:04:18 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 14, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
Quote from: Oleg on April 14, 2015, 11:14:22 AM
Does anyone really think that Ephoyer gives two shits about what some shitty sportswriter writes about the reasons for the Bryant thing?  I fully expect him to be up on Friday for good because it may be what's best for The Cubs (both in terms of sending him down for the extra year of control and for bringing him up as soon as possible because he's good at baseball and can help this team ASAP).  If he's not up on Friday, it will only be because Hoystein doesn't think he's ready to contribute to the major league club yet.  I really think it's that simple and Gordo and his ilk can go get bent.

I don't think they break him in at home.  They didn't do that with Baez or Soler. Road opens.  Less media, no raving fans.  Still betting the 20th or 24th.

I don't get this.  Is Bryant getting little media attention now?  March was Kris Bryant month on MLB Network.  I think this whole "debut him on the road only" thing is weird.

This.  There are two ways of debuting: at home, or away.  As it happens, the last two Cubs' prospects have debuted on the road.  Who knows if that was deliberate or not?  What I do know is that it's a stretch to subsequently conclude that Bryant can't debut at Wrigley.

Having said that, I can't wait for the 50/50 chance to go against me so that Internet Chuck gets to pretend that he was right all along.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SUM MISTAKE.  DAT THEO GUY ONLY EVER CALLS GUYS UP ON THE ROAD!  ITS A TREND!  YOU CANT BUCK DA TREND, MY FRENTS!!!1!

(I'm not going to lie, I've been really, really looking forward to that, you fucking morans)

Man who's been putting the muscle in Tonker's kangaroo venison lately?

Well, venison is muscle tissue, so ... the Kangaroo?

Damn you.  Damn you straight to Brian Schlitter's blazing firebarn.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life. Forgotten are the Shane Andrews and Willie Greenes of the world. Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 08:28:07 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life. Forgotten are the Shane Andrews and Willie Greenes of the world. Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

What else would we do on the internet, agree on stuff? Psh.

Also, #17! Right again!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 08:41:37 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Right? WTF, SKO?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:41:47 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Fair point, but irrelevant.

KRIS BRYANT
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:43:03 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 08:41:37 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Right? WTF, SKO?

I was just plucking two shitty players out of a bin as representative of our collective fan experience rooting for the Cubs, and commenting on how Bryant will end this century of failure. It wasn't meant to rate him as the only good 3B the Cubs have had in our lifetimes and send Aramis into the land of the forgotten. MY BAD.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 08:45:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:43:03 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 08:41:37 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Right? WTF, SKO?

I was just plucking two shitty players out of a bin as representative of our collective fan experience rooting for the Cubs, and commenting on how Bryant will end this century of failure. It wasn't meant to rate him as the only good 3B the Cubs have had in our lifetimes and send Aramis into the land of the forgotten. MY BAD.


Party foul.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 08:48:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:43:03 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 08:41:37 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Right? WTF, SKO?

I was just plucking two shitty players out of a bin as representative of our collective fan experience rooting for the Cubs, and commenting on how Bryant will end this century of failure. It wasn't meant to rate him as the only good 3B the Cubs have had in our lifetimes and send Aramis into the land of the forgotten. MY BAD.


It's fine.  It's just that I had gotten so tired of "Geez, the Cubs have had so many shitty 3rd baseman since RON SANTO" that it was just another reason to love Aramis.  Never forget.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 08:49:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life. Forgotten are the Shane Andrews and Willie Greenes of the world. Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

I'll decide that, if you don't mind.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:50:28 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 08:49:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life. Forgotten are the Shane Andrews and Willie Greenes of the world. Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

I'll decide that, if you don't mind.

I do.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:10:02 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

You might have to join a queue.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:25:21 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

That's the dumbest thing Chuck has ever Chucked.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:29:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:37:39 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:29:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2015, 09:39:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:48:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:43:03 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 08:41:37 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 08:32:59 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 08:26:49 AM
I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Right? WTF, SKO?

I was just plucking two shitty players out of a bin as representative of our collective fan experience rooting for the Cubs, and commenting on how Bryant will end this century of failure. It wasn't meant to rate him as the only good 3B the Cubs have had in our lifetimes and send Aramis into the land of the forgotten. MY BAD.


It's fine.  It's just that I had gotten so tired of "Geez, the Cubs have had so many shitty 3rd baseman since RON SANTO" that it was just another reason to love Aramis.  Never forget.

We actually had one really fucking good one IMMEDIATELY AFTER SANTO, who exercised the poor judgement of having a white wife.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:40:32 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:37:39 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:29:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

That's honestly fine, but I don't think anything Chuck said indicates that he has butthurt over Grace being a fucking drunk driver. He appears to hate Mark Grace the baseballer and that's unforgiveable.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:41:34 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:40:32 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:37:39 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:29:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

That's honestly fine, but I don't think anything Chuck said indicates that he has butthurt over Grace being a fucking drunk driver. He appears to hate Mark Grace the baseballer and that's unforgiveable.

Where did Chuck make these comments?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 17, 2015, 09:43:11 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:29:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

Yup.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 17, 2015, 09:43:25 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:37:39 AM
I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward.

I lost a friend in a drunk driving accident. She was sideswiped and pushed into oncoming traffic and hit a semi head on. The guy, when caught, was charged with:

Reckless homicide
Leaving the scene of a fatal accident
DUI
And...
Driving on a license suspended from a prior DUI.

He's a fucking piece of shit who is very lucky that he hasn't killed some innocent like what happened to Jackie. Multiple DUIs? Four months wasn't enough.

:::UPDATE:::

Looks like I misremembered semi-truck for pickup truck.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1988-06-22/news/8801090573_1_license-accident-car-trouble
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:44:58 AM
Ignoring the garbage above.

HE'S BATTING FOURTH, MOTHER FUCKERS.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 09:45:08 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:41:34 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:40:32 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 17, 2015, 09:37:39 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 17, 2015, 09:29:44 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 17, 2015, 09:26:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 09:14:00 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:04:27 AM
What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

That's honestly fine, but I don't think anything Chuck said indicates that he has butthurt over Grace being a fucking drunk driver. He appears to hate Mark Grace the baseballer and that's unforgiveable.

Where did Chuck make these comments?

Don't say you weren't warned. (https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/589056427668459520)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:45:27 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CCzQu8XVAAAP9v5.jpg)

Go go gadget DONGBAND!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:45:27 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CCzQu8XVAAAP9v5.jpg)

Go go gadget DONGBAND!

And once they slot Addison Russell in at #2, get rid of Herrera, and move #3-#8 down a spot? Would investing in whoever manufactures Jergens and Lubriderm be insider trading at that point?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2015, 11:18:31 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 09:45:27 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CCzQu8XVAAAP9v5.jpg)

Go go gadget DONGBAND!

And once they slot Addison Russell in at #2, get rid of Herrera, and move #3-#8 down a spot? Would investing in whoever manufactures Jergens and Lubriderm be insider trading at that point?

Have you noticed Morph's been quiet lately?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 17, 2015, 12:24:54 PM
Kris and Dad (Mike, who played the minors but never made the bigs) hugging before the game today.
(https://instagram.com/p/1lR9XKsVx6/)
All the feels.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 17, 2015, 12:30:06 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 17, 2015, 12:24:54 PM
Kris and Dad (Mike, who played the minors but never made the bigs) hugging before the game today.
(https://instagram.com/p/1lR9XKsVx6/)
All the feels.



"Hey Fun Boys, get a room!"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on April 17, 2015, 01:53:51 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

What's Jed doing, calling this bum up before he's ready?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:01:13 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

I think we should just see how this plays out.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2015, 02:04:40 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:01:13 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

I think we should just see how this plays out.

BIG CAJUN
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 17, 2015, 02:10:06 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

If Theo had called him up on the road like he was supposed to, this never would have happened.

Fire Epstink.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:12:37 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

I have no bias for Brett, but you really are overreacting to him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:13:18 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:12:37 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

I have no bias for Brett, but you really are overreacting to him.

That's fine. I think you're overreacting to my overreacting. I just think it's pretty church lady-ish to say REMEMBER BRYANT STRUCK OUT FIVE TIMES IN HIS FIRST EVER GAME as warning, and then link to your own tweet the second he strikes out, like "GUYS IT'LL BE OKAY". We know, man. It's baseball.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 17, 2015, 02:13:57 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:13:18 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:12:37 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

I have no bias for Brett, but you really are overreacting to him.

That's fine. I think you're overreacting to my overreacting.

(https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lflnsoqp8C1qf4elio1_400.gif)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:14:46 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:13:18 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:12:37 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

I have no bias for Brett, but you really are overreacting to him.

That's fine. I think you're overreacting to my overreacting.

Yeah, I'm Mach 5 with my hair on fire raging upset.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:15:51 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:14:46 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:13:18 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:12:37 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

I have no bias for Brett, but you really are overreacting to him.

That's fine. I think you're overreacting to my overreacting.

Yeah, I'm Mach 5 with my hair on fire raging upset.

If that's where you think I'm at you've never seen me angry. I get more worked up over that sonofabitch David Ross.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 17, 2015, 02:17:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:15:51 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:14:46 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:13:18 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:12:37 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 02:05:02 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 17, 2015, 01:59:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 17, 2015, 01:49:57 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 01:36:58 PM
Quote from: Bort on April 17, 2015, 01:35:38 PM
He sucks. Trade him.

He was clearly going to swing at every pitch there. It's cool, still four more ABs for four dongs.

It's okay because Brett was quick to immediately link to his earlier tweet about Bryant K'ing 5 times in his first pro game. So, you know guys, in case anyone here actually thought one fucking strikeout in his first at bat was the end of times. Brett's here to calm us all down

Or maybe a guy who played last night, grabbed a late flight, and arrived to play his first major league baseball game in the afternoon amidst a media circus might not be at quite 100%?

What the hell are you responding to? I don't give a shit. I'm criticizing Brett for being the CALM DOWN police as though anyone rational is freaking out after one fucking AB. If someone is freaking out over that, one tweet won't help them, because they're a fucking idiot.

I have no bias for Brett, but you really are overreacting to him.

That's fine. I think you're overreacting to my overreacting.

Yeah, I'm Mach 5 with my hair on fire raging upset.

If that's where you think I'm at you've never seen me angry. I get more worked up over that sonofabitch David Ross.

Hey dickheads - Kris Bryant.

Focus.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 02:43:47 PM
He's awesome -- K's and all.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 17, 2015, 02:44:49 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 02:43:47 PM
He's awesome -- K's and all.

Welcome to the summer of dongs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 17, 2015, 02:45:39 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 02:43:47 PM
He's awesome -- K's and all.

He's gonna K in his first 300 ABs and then hit homers in the following 100.

100 HRs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:46:03 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 02:44:49 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 02:43:47 PM
He's awesome -- K's and all.

Welcome to the summer of dongs.

(http://i.imgur.com/eoIisMu.jpg)

That's pretty decent respect for a rookie's second AB against one of the game's better pitchers. And a 7 pitch AB that ends in a K...I ain't even mad.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 17, 2015, 02:50:12 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 17, 2015, 02:46:03 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 17, 2015, 02:44:49 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 17, 2015, 02:43:47 PM
He's awesome -- K's and all.

Welcome to the summer of dongs.

(http://i.imgur.com/eoIisMu.jpg)

That's pretty decent respect for a rookie's second AB against one of the game's better pitchers. And a 7 pitch AB that ends in a K...I ain't even mad.

This. He worked the count to full down 0-2 even though he has to have been jacked up since like 7 last night, and it's not his fault Shields' change is nasty today.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 17, 2015, 03:00:25 PM
DPD. Never forget. (http://www.milb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130724&content_id=54589390&fext=.jsp&vkey=recap&sid=l126)

QuoteCubs first-round pick Kris Bryant went 0-for-5 in his Boise debut, striking out five times - as Eugene hurlers combined to strike out 15 batters.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 18, 2015, 02:50:49 PM
Looks like Bryant's starting to settle in juuuuuust fine.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 18, 2015, 05:25:29 PM
Bump for reaching base 5 times in 6 tries and showing some GRIT with a long AB and infield hit vs. Kimbrel
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
.300/.500/.400/.900.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 20, 2015, 08:41:41 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
.300/.500/.400/.900.

He's going to leave Pittsburgh and Cincinnati in ashes.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 20, 2015, 08:43:06 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 08:41:41 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
.300/.500/.400/.900.

He's going to leave Pittsburgh and Cincinnati in ashes.

That RF wall in Pittsburgh is gonna be in shambles when they leave. And he's gonna fill the Ohio River with dead baseballs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I have a FEELING that Cincinatti is going to have a hard time walking after Kris Bryant boards the team plane after that series.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 20, 2015, 11:57:41 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

Burnett (who's still pretty darn good) will be the worst pitcher he's faced yet. Tough first week.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:53 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 20, 2015, 11:57:41 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

Burnett (who's still pretty darn good) will be the worst pitcher he's faced yet. Tough first week.

I had no idea who Tyson Ross was before Saturday and looked him up afterward but damn that dude has some good stuff. That slider was wicked.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 20, 2015, 12:03:09 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.

To me he looks like a guy who was running on pure adrenaline in Game One, and since then he's been settling into doing the things that got him here. He's actually looked decent defensively, and when I watched him last year and in spring training, he looked kind of slow to the ball.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 12:04:47 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:03:09 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.

To me he looks like a guy who was running on pure adrenaline in Game One, and since then he's been settling into doing the things that got him here. He's actually looked decent defensively, and when I watched him last year and in spring training, he looked kind of slow to the ball.

To me it looks like what I said and what you said do not contradict each other, so I'll endorse what you said as well.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 20, 2015, 12:08:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 12:04:47 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:03:09 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.

To me he looks like a guy who was running on pure adrenaline in Game One, and since then he's been settling into doing the things that got him here. He's actually looked decent defensively, and when I watched him last year and in spring training, he looked kind of slow to the ball.

To me it looks like what I said and what you said do not contradict each other, so I'll endorse what you said as well.

Disagree. Seems like you and Fork were saying the same thing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 12:09:27 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 20, 2015, 12:08:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 12:04:47 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:03:09 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.

To me he looks like a guy who was running on pure adrenaline in Game One, and since then he's been settling into doing the things that got him here. He's actually looked decent defensively, and when I watched him last year and in spring training, he looked kind of slow to the ball.

To me it looks like what I said and what you said do not contradict each other, so I'll endorse what you said as well.

Disagree. Seems like you and Fork were saying the same thing.

Rebuttal: I said nothing about adrenaline or defense.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 20, 2015, 12:12:31 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:03:09 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.

To me he looks like a guy who was running on pure adrenaline in Game One, and since then he's been settling into doing the things that got him here. He's actually looked decent defensively, and when I watched him last year and in spring training, he looked kind of slow to the ball.

Len and JD mentioned this on the broadcast but he's being pitched like he's Mike Trout instead of some random minor league call-up. He's fouled off the few good pitches he had to hit but that's not going to last.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 12:15:14 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 12:12:31 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:03:09 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 11:58:14 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 11:56:50 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:49:44 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 11:47:48 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 20, 2015, 11:32:22 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 09:55:38 AM
The thing that is going to make NL pitchers self-deficate is that Bryant has managed in three games to adjust to pitchers changing speeds at the big league level. He's not only a golden god when he swings the bat, but he's looking really fucking smart up there too.

A couple slapdick hits in a group of swing-and-misses is all we need for a golden god now? Let's wait til he starts squaring it up, which I hope will be today, before we crown his ass. His approach has been very good since the first game so it's only a matter of time.

That double he hit has no similarities to anything slapdickish. It was right on the screws.

I forgot about that double, you're right about that. That's only one solid hit though. After he hits three homers today we'll forget all about this.

What was most important to me was him adjusting. He looks like a very smart hitter who knows he can't just take one approach.

To me he looks like a guy who took four at bats to at least stop getting himself out by chasing pitcher's pitches. If he stays that patient, he'll get pitches to hit eventually. For now, he can keep on keeping on.

To me he looks like a guy who was running on pure adrenaline in Game One, and since then he's been settling into doing the things that got him here. He's actually looked decent defensively, and when I watched him last year and in spring training, he looked kind of slow to the ball.

Len and JD mentioned this on the broadcast but he's being pitched like he's Mike Trout instead of some random minor league call-up. He's fouled off the few good pitches he had to hit but that's not going to last.

Honestly outside of the pitch he hit for a double and the one he fucked up for a popout in his last AB yesterday it seemed like the only pitcher who gave him a pitch to hit was Craig Kimbrel, and calling a fastball from Craig Kimbrel "a pitch to hit" seems unkind.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 20, 2015, 12:31:46 PM
Take a couple minutes and enjoy this (http://youtu.be/rYuzgSx2ldE).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 20, 2015, 12:36:45 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:31:46 PM
Take a couple minutes and enjoy this (http://youtu.be/rYuzgSx2ldE).

Joakim Noah is the best.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 12:38:09 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:31:46 PM
Take a couple minutes and enjoy this (http://youtu.be/rYuzgSx2ldE).

DEH WYTE SOXS WUDD NEVA DOO DAT
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 12:50:40 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 12:38:09 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:31:46 PM
Take a couple minutes and enjoy this (http://youtu.be/rYuzgSx2ldE).

DEH WYTE SOXS WUDD NEVA DOO DAT

I did like that line, especially since they just fucking did it with Carlos Rodon.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 20, 2015, 12:57:57 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 20, 2015, 12:36:45 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:31:46 PM
Take a couple minutes and enjoy this (http://youtu.be/rYuzgSx2ldE).

Joakim Noah is the best.

That was fucking hilarious. As much as I used to hate the guy, I have to admit he's pretty cool now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 20, 2015, 01:50:23 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 20, 2015, 12:57:57 PM
Quote from: Eli on April 20, 2015, 12:36:45 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 20, 2015, 12:31:46 PM
Take a couple minutes and enjoy this (http://youtu.be/rYuzgSx2ldE).

Joakim Noah is the best.

That was fucking hilarious. As much as I used to hate the guy, I have to admit he's pretty cool now.

I want to call Bryant "Miniature Person" now.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:12:35 PM
Part of what would be awesome about Bryant actually reaching his potential and becoming a superstar slugger is that given his face and his already incredibly Derek-Jeter-Always-Says-Exactly-What-Will-Make-Sportswriters-Splooge-ish personality Bryant will rack up endorsements like crazy.

Why do I care? Because with Kris Bryant destroying opposing pitchers and his face appearing everywhere he will inspire every non-Cubs fan into a frothing rage (especially the BFIBB, who will bend over backwards to justify their hatred of a good, uncontroversial, white baseball player). I want that player that every other fanbase sees and goes "oh, god, fuck that guy" knowing deep down all they want is their own Kris Bryant, and they can't fucking have him.

Give me this, lord.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 02:14:45 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:12:35 PM
Part of what would be awesome about Bryant actually reaching his potential and becoming a superstar slugger is that given his face and his already incredibly Derek-Jeter-Always-Says-Exactly-What-Will-Make-Sportswriters-Splooge-ish personality Bryant will rack up endorsements like crazy.

Why do I care? Because with Kris Bryant destroying opposing pitchers and his face appearing everywhere he will inspire every non-Cubs fan into a frothing rage (especially the BFIBB, who will bend over backwards to justify their hatred of a good, uncontroversial, white baseball player). I want that player that every other fanbase sees and goes "oh, god, fuck that guy" knowing deep down all they want is their own Kris Bryant, and they can't fucking have him.

Give me this, lord.

Everything about this post made me not lol until the very last sentence.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 20, 2015, 02:55:46 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 02:14:45 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:12:35 PM
Part of what would be awesome about Bryant actually reaching his potential and becoming a superstar slugger is that given his face and his already incredibly Derek-Jeter-Always-Says-Exactly-What-Will-Make-Sportswriters-Splooge-ish personality Bryant will rack up endorsements like crazy.

Why do I care? Because with Kris Bryant destroying opposing pitchers and his face appearing everywhere he will inspire every non-Cubs fan into a frothing rage (especially the BFIBB, who will bend over backwards to justify their hatred of a good, uncontroversial, white baseball player). I want that player that every other fanbase sees and goes "oh, god, fuck that guy" knowing deep down all they want is their own Kris Bryant, and they can't fucking have him.

Give me this, lord.

Everything about this post made me not lol until the very last sentence.

But you watch. The BFIBB are notorious for applauding opposing players that they feel uphold their values and shit. Watch them glom onto Bryant and give him standing O's and shit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:56:37 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 20, 2015, 02:55:46 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 02:14:45 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:12:35 PM
Part of what would be awesome about Bryant actually reaching his potential and becoming a superstar slugger is that given his face and his already incredibly Derek-Jeter-Always-Says-Exactly-What-Will-Make-Sportswriters-Splooge-ish personality Bryant will rack up endorsements like crazy.

Why do I care? Because with Kris Bryant destroying opposing pitchers and his face appearing everywhere he will inspire every non-Cubs fan into a frothing rage (especially the BFIBB, who will bend over backwards to justify their hatred of a good, uncontroversial, white baseball player). I want that player that every other fanbase sees and goes "oh, god, fuck that guy" knowing deep down all they want is their own Kris Bryant, and they can't fucking have him.

Give me this, lord.

Everything about this post made me not lol until the very last sentence.

But you watch. The BFIBB are notorious for applauding opposing players that they feel uphold their values and shit. Watch them glom onto Bryant and give him standing O's and shit.

Even better. Let them cheer their destroyer.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on April 20, 2015, 03:26:57 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:56:37 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 20, 2015, 02:55:46 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 20, 2015, 02:14:45 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 02:12:35 PM
Part of what would be awesome about Bryant actually reaching his potential and becoming a superstar slugger is that given his face and his already incredibly Derek-Jeter-Always-Says-Exactly-What-Will-Make-Sportswriters-Splooge-ish personality Bryant will rack up endorsements like crazy.

Why do I care? Because with Kris Bryant destroying opposing pitchers and his face appearing everywhere he will inspire every non-Cubs fan into a frothing rage (especially the BFIBB, who will bend over backwards to justify their hatred of a good, uncontroversial, white baseball player). I want that player that every other fanbase sees and goes "oh, god, fuck that guy" knowing deep down all they want is their own Kris Bryant, and they can't fucking have him.

Give me this, lord.

Everything about this post made me not lol until the very last sentence.

But you watch. The BFIBB are notorious for applauding opposing players that they feel uphold their values and shit. Watch them glom onto Bryant and give him standing O's and shit.

Even better. Let them cheer their destroyer.

They only cheer opposing teams in condescension. Trust me. Once there are a few more pennants flying over Wrigley, they'll boo him like he was a black man that looked at a white woman.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 21, 2015, 08:23:16 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

I think his height was also a factor in the rundown.  Dude that's 6'6" can be a little hard to get the ball around/over.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 21, 2015, 08:24:34 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:23:16 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

I think his height was also a factor in the rundown.  Dude that's a 6'6" Miniature Person can be a little hard to get the ball around/over.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 21, 2015, 08:44:26 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.

I definitely feel like he's been better than advertised in other aspects of his game that don't get as much attention as his hitting does.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:44:52 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.

Yeah that's fair. Taking third was smart, though, and he's repeatedly taken second/third on throws so far. On the Ryan Theriot Scale of Smart Baserunning he's Albert Einstein. Compared to other major leaguers he just got his degree in communications at least.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 21, 2015, 09:26:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:44:52 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.

Yeah that's fair. Taking third was smart, though, and he's repeatedly taken second/third on throws so far. On the Ryan Theriot Scale of Smart Baserunning he's Albert Einstein. Compared to other major leaguers he just got his degree in communications at least.

I don't know why we're giving guys hand jibbers for making the only correct play on throws to the plate. He got himself hung up because he overran third and didn't really have a chance to score because he stumbled around the bag. If the Pirates hadn't Panked that to death we'd be laughing about the big lug doing himself in like that. I appreciate his work with the bat. He looks roughly adequate at third though he's committed two errors there in four games.

I appreciate his work with the bat because it mitigates most of that. Plus he's a rookie with plenty of room to grow. But we can be honest and evaluate the rest of his game like he's a normal human being, even though he's far from that when standing in the batter's box.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 21, 2015, 09:35:02 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 21, 2015, 09:26:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:44:52 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.

Yeah that's fair. Taking third was smart, though, and he's repeatedly taken second/third on throws so far. On the Ryan Theriot Scale of Smart Baserunning he's Albert Einstein. Compared to other major leaguers he just got his degree in communications at least.

I don't know why we're giving guys hand jibbers for making the only correct play on throws to the plate. He got himself hung up because he overran third and didn't really have a chance to score because he stumbled around the bag. If the Pirates hadn't Panked that to death we'd be laughing about the big lug doing himself in like that. I appreciate his work with the bat. He looks roughly adequate at third though he's committed two errors there in four games.

I appreciate his work with the bat because it mitigates most of that. Plus he's a rookie with plenty of room to grow. But we can be honest and evaluate the rest of his game like he's a normal human being, even though he's far from that when standing in the batter's box.

Shut up, Paul. You're a douche.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 21, 2015, 11:36:18 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 21, 2015, 09:26:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:44:52 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.

Yeah that's fair. Taking third was smart, though, and he's repeatedly taken second/third on throws so far. On the Ryan Theriot Scale of Smart Baserunning he's Albert Einstein. Compared to other major leaguers he just got his degree in communications at least.

I don't know why we're giving guys hand jibbers for making the only correct play on throws to the plate. He got himself hung up because he overran third and didn't really have a chance to score because he stumbled around the bag. If the Pirates hadn't Panked that to death we'd be laughing about the big lug doing himself in like that. I appreciate his work with the bat. He looks roughly adequate at third though he's committed two errors there in four games.

I appreciate his work with the bat because it mitigates most of that. Plus he's a rookie with plenty of room to grow. But we can be honest and evaluate the rest of his game like he's a normal human being, even though he's far from that when standing in the batter's box.

Are you doing anything later?  I thought maybe you'd like to go and get a drink?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 21, 2015, 01:43:48 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 21, 2015, 11:36:18 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 21, 2015, 09:26:49 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:44:52 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 21, 2015, 08:32:34 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:30:55 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 21, 2015, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 21, 2015, 08:15:40 AM
Quote from: Bonk on April 21, 2015, 04:17:39 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 20, 2015, 09:00:45 PM
BUMP

By my amateur math (so probably wrong) Bryant at .429/.579/.571/1.150.

Holy shit.

But no HR. He sucks.

Had to love his taking 3rd on the throw to the plate on his double, and scoring on the error. If he weren't so tall, he might actually be gritty.

He's definitely a smart baserunner. Has taken the extra base every single time. Really the whole team has. As bizarre as it is to see the Cubs have good young hitters, to see them stealing bases and constantly taking extra bases without any TOOTBLANS is equally bizarre.

Yeah, good that he took third, but he hung himself out to dry by taking a big turn around third on the error by Cervelli. He got bailed out by two more errors, but I wouldn't say it was "definitely smart" base-running there.

He was a little over-eager on the play but from what I've seen so far otherwise he seems pretty  heads-up out there.

Yeah that's fair. Taking third was smart, though, and he's repeatedly taken second/third on throws so far. On the Ryan Theriot Scale of Smart Baserunning he's Albert Einstein. Compared to other major leaguers he just got his degree in communications at least.

I don't know why we're giving guys hand jibbers for making the only correct play on throws to the plate. He got himself hung up because he overran third and didn't really have a chance to score because he stumbled around the bag. If the Pirates hadn't Panked that to death we'd be laughing about the big lug doing himself in like that. I appreciate his work with the bat. He looks roughly adequate at third though he's committed two errors there in four games.

I appreciate his work with the bat because it mitigates most of that. Plus he's a rookie with plenty of room to grow. But we can be honest and evaluate the rest of his game like he's a normal human being, even though he's far from that when standing in the batter's box.

Are you doing anything later?  I thought maybe you'd like to go and get a drink?

Can you get to Vauxhall this Friday?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 07:00:21 PM
This is getting ridiculous. I haven't had this much fun watching the Cubs in at least 12 years -- maybe ever.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:34:18 PM
Since we're talking about his baserunning, he nearly hung himself out again tonight by taking a big turn around second. Luckily, Midgetface got confused and didn't throw him out.

But he was safe on that play at the plate. For realsies.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Armchair_QB on April 21, 2015, 08:44:32 PM
Joe West is a fucking piece of shit and Ray Charles is apparently handling replay reviews for MLB tonight. That was horseshit all around.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 21, 2015, 09:51:03 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 08:34:18 PM
Since we're talking about his baserunning, he nearly hung himself out again tonight by taking a big turn around second. Luckily, Midgetface got confused and didn't throw him out.

But he was safe on that play at the plate. For realsies.

Then he took third in the ninth on a real heads up play and ended up scoring because of it.

Kris Bryant is LIFE.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 22, 2015, 03:09:37 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 21, 2015, 07:00:21 PM
This is getting ridiculous. I haven't had this much fun watching the Cubs in at least 12 years -- maybe ever.

2007 was a lot of fun.

Until October.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on April 22, 2015, 03:11:19 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on April 21, 2015, 08:44:32 PM
Joe West is a fucking piece of shit and Ray Charles is apparently handling replay reviews for MLB tonight. That was horseshit all around.

That's the second night on the spin that the Cubs have been hosed by the video replay retards.  And, as you so astutely point out, Joe West can go and fuck himself.  It's not about you, Joe.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 08:23:28 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 22, 2015, 03:11:19 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on April 21, 2015, 08:44:32 PM
Joe West is a fucking piece of shit and Ray Charles is apparently handling replay reviews for MLB tonight. That was horseshit all around.

That's the second night on the spin that the Cubs have been hosed by the video replay retards.  And, as you so astutely point out, Joe West can go and fuck himself.  It's not about you, Joe.

Look, I just watched the replay of the replay on the MLB At Bat app. I really couldn't see anything conclusive that would tell me Bryant was safe. I want to believe that Cervelli whiffed on the tag on the back side of Bryant's legs and Bryant's shin got to the plate, but I really couldn't see if that actually happened.

I think the replay is inconclusive so the initial call has to stand.

I don't care, though. Cubs win.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 22, 2015, 08:41:31 AM
Let's all watch over and over where the pitch was the Bryant somehow drove off the opposite-field wall:

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/bryant-double-swing-2.gif)

For further posterity, freeze-frame to show that the pitch was actually off the plate inside.

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/liriano-bryant-2.png)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 08:43:59 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 08:41:31 AM
Let's all watch over and over where the pitch was the Bryant somehow drove off the opposite-field wall:

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/bryant-double-swing-2.gif)

My cup seriously runneth over.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 08:43:59 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 08:41:31 AM
Let's all watch over and over where the pitch was the Bryant somehow drove off the opposite-field wall:

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/bryant-double-swing-2.gif)

My cup seriously runneth over.

No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 22, 2015, 09:15:34 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 08:43:59 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 08:41:31 AM
Let's all watch over and over where the pitch was the Bryant somehow drove off the opposite-field wall:

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/bryant-double-swing-2.gif)

My cup seriously runneth over.

No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

I love that I'm trying to decide whether I actually think he or Jorge is the better pure hitter. The answer is I don't care. They rule.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 22, 2015, 09:21:36 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 08:41:31 AM
Let's all watch over and over where the pitch was the Bryant somehow drove off the opposite-field wall:

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/bryant-double-swing-2.gif)

For further posterity, freeze-frame to show that the pitch was actually off the plate inside.

(http://cdn.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/liriano-bryant-2.png)


Oh God I just read the entire article  (http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/lets-watch-kris-bryant-do-something-amazing/) that is from and now I need new pants.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 22, 2015, 09:27:37 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 08:23:28 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 22, 2015, 03:11:19 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on April 21, 2015, 08:44:32 PM
Joe West is a fucking piece of shit and Ray Charles is apparently handling replay reviews for MLB tonight. That was horseshit all around.

That's the second night on the spin that the Cubs have been hosed by the video replay retards.  And, as you so astutely point out, Joe West can go and fuck himself.  It's not about you, Joe.

Look, I just watched the replay of the replay on the MLB At Bat app. I really couldn't see anything conclusive that would tell me Bryant was safe. I want to believe that Cervelli whiffed on the tag on the back side of Bryant's legs and Bryant's shin got to the plate, but I really couldn't see if that actually happened.

I think the replay is inconclusive so the initial call has to stand.

I don't care, though. Cubs win.

Not sure what you guys are talking about as I only watch baseball to see my favorite umpires' strike three choreography.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 10:39:32 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

How does his swing compare to say, Troy Glaus?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 22, 2015, 11:00:01 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 10:39:32 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

How does his swing compare to say, Troy Glaus?

Similarly! It does, however, compare quite favorably to Kierkegaard.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on April 22, 2015, 11:00:07 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 10:39:32 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

How does his swing compare to say, Troy Glaus?

I think there are some major similarities. They are both tall players, so they have to be smart about using their height for leverage.

For example, you can see from Photo 1 to Photo 2 here that Glaus makes a slight shift in his center of gravity and that countermove sets up the rest of his swing.

(http://hititlonger.com/images/uploads/blog/TroyGlaus1(1).jpg)

(http://hititlonger.com/images/uploads/blog/TroyGlaus2.jpg)

Below, you'll see that as the ball is being released toward home, his center of gravity has shifted forward again. His hips have not begun to turn, which important because power hitters want to release their hips as late as possible (same principle in golf; if you release your hips too early, you end up hooking the ball off into the woods). It also helps him keep his hands back.

(http://hititlonger.com/images/uploads/blog/TroyGlaus6.jpg)

In the next image, you see that Troy's front knee is flexed and his hips have started to circle around a bit, but not until after his weight has shifted. This is similar to Bryant, who also keeps his hands and hips back very well. However, Bryant does differ in that he really straightens his front leg when planting, almost to an extreme degree. You can see the different here, where Glaus only has a modest leg plant as he begins to "throw" the head of the bat toward the ball:

(http://hititlonger.com/images/uploads/blog/TroyGlaus4.jpg)

The result of this is a long home run to left field, featuring great extension that is the culmination of being able to use his leverage to keep his hands back so they explode into the baseball.

After this analysis, which was total and utter made-up, uninformed bullshit on my part (thanks for reading this far, if you still are) I think this solidifies that Troy Bryant and Kris Glaus are the same player.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 22, 2015, 11:04:26 AM
A Desippy for Eli on this post.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 11:05:36 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 22, 2015, 11:04:26 AM
A Desippy for Eli on this post.

Bah--that's his home run contest swing.

Everybody knows that's not a fair comp.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 22, 2015, 11:11:24 AM
Quote from: PANK! on April 22, 2015, 11:04:26 AM
A Desippy for Eli on this post.

Agreed
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 11:16:09 AM
Troy Glaus is fat.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on April 22, 2015, 11:22:48 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

Meh, it's just classic hyperbole.

Anytime I hear "Best I've seen since (some thing that existed almost 50 years ago)" then I pretty much assume they're wrong and they've seen others better.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2015, 11:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 11:32:31 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.

The thing that gives me a hard on the most about Bryant's swing is that it's in a Cubs uniform.

I can get all technical about how he has no wasted movements and that his swing takes the bat to a direct path to the ball and that he has quick hands, but I've already splooshed threventeen times this morning watching that inside pitch taken off the RCF wall at PNC.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2015, 11:50:18 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 11:32:31 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.

The thing that gives me a hard on the most about Bryant's swing is that it's in a Cubs uniform.

I can get all technical about how he has no wasted movements and that his swing takes the bat to a direct path to the ball and that he has quick hands, but I've already splooshed threventeen times this morning watching that inside pitch taken off the RCF wall at PNC.

At the end of the day, if he sticks his bat up his ass and hits home runs by swinging his hips, the results are all that matter.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 12:43:59 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:50:18 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 11:32:31 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.

The thing that gives me a hard on the most about Bryant's swing is that it's in a Cubs uniform.

I can get all technical about how he has no wasted movements and that his swing takes the bat to a direct path to the ball and that he has quick hands, but I've already splooshed threventeen times this morning watching that inside pitch taken off the RCF wall at PNC.

At the end of the day, if he sticks his bat up his ass and hits home runs by swinging his hips, the results are all that matter.

Just like Billy Williams.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 22, 2015, 12:57:12 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 12:43:59 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:50:18 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 11:32:31 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.

The thing that gives me a hard on the most about Bryant's swing is that it's in a Cubs uniform.

I can get all technical about how he has no wasted movements and that his swing takes the bat to a direct path to the ball and that he has quick hands, but I've already splooshed threventeen times this morning watching that inside pitch taken off the RCF wall at PNC.

At the end of the day, if he sticks his bat up his ass and hits home runs by swinging his hips, the results are all that matter.

Just like Billy Williams.

You owe me a new monitor.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2015, 01:05:48 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 22, 2015, 12:43:59 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:50:18 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2015, 11:32:31 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 11:25:58 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 10:38:25 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: Eli on April 22, 2015, 09:41:36 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on April 22, 2015, 09:08:11 AM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.

The thing that gives me a hard on the most about Bryant's swing is that it's in a Cubs uniform.

I can get all technical about how he has no wasted movements and that his swing takes the bat to a direct path to the ball and that he has quick hands, but I've already splooshed threventeen times this morning watching that inside pitch taken off the RCF wall at PNC.

At the end of the day, if he sticks his bat up his ass and hits home runs by swinging his hips, the results are all that matter.

Just like Billy Williams.

If he'd used his hands he would of won the MVP in 1972.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 27, 2015, 08:04:41 PM
Bump. Still no HRs for him but he keeps stringing good ABs together. His power burst is coming, I can feel it. (||)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on April 27, 2015, 08:18:28 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 27, 2015, 08:04:41 PM
Bump. Still no HRs for him but he keeps stringing good ABs together. His power burst is coming, I can feel it. (||)

9 RBI in his first 10 MLB games (said 10th game still in progress)

That's good, right?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 27, 2015, 09:35:41 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 27, 2015, 08:18:28 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 27, 2015, 08:04:41 PM
Bump. Still no HRs for him but he keeps stringing good ABs together. His power burst is coming, I can feel it. (||)

9 RBI in his first 10 MLB games (said 10th game still in progress)

That's good, right?

That's terrible.

I meant good.  It's good...

...if you care about an old counting stat like RBIs, that is.  *snorts, pushes glasses back up nose*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 28, 2015, 07:28:07 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 27, 2015, 09:35:41 PM
Quote from: PANK! on April 27, 2015, 08:18:28 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on April 27, 2015, 08:04:41 PM
Bump. Still no HRs for him but he keeps stringing good ABs together. His power burst is coming, I can feel it. (||)

9 RBI in his first 10 MLB games (said 10th game still in progress)

That's good, right?

That's terrible.

I meant good.  It's good...

...if you care about an old counting stat like RBIs, that is.  *snorts, pushes glasses back up nose*

Right now, Huey's crying into his Tony Perez jersey.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 28, 2015, 10:57:29 AM
8 BB, 9 SO so far.  So dreamy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on April 28, 2015, 11:08:53 AM
WHEARS ALL DA HOMERS DIS GUY WAS GONNA HIT?

IN DA CLEANERUP SPOT WE GOTTA HAVE DINGERS
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 28, 2015, 11:12:03 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on April 28, 2015, 11:08:53 AM
WHEARS ALL DA HOMERS DIS GUY WAS GONNA HIT?

IN DA CLEANERUP SPOT WE GOTTA HAVE DINGERS

You know what? I think I'm all set on the Meatballese now. It's gone from funny, to unfunny, to annoying, to gobby.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 28, 2015, 11:19:42 AM
I hate myself that when he does "merely" single in a run or something I am sorta disappointed.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on April 28, 2015, 11:39:38 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 28, 2015, 11:19:42 AM
I hate myself that when he does "merely" single in a run or something I am sorta disappointed.

I feel the same way. Aside from having money on his (and Rizz/Soler) home runs, something very deep in my thunderdome of a brain just wants to see some insane ball smashing
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on April 28, 2015, 11:55:35 AM
Quote from: Yeti on April 28, 2015, 11:39:38 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 28, 2015, 11:19:42 AM
I hate myself that when he does "merely" single in a run or something I am sorta disappointed.

I feel the same way. Aside from having money on his (and Rizz/Soler) home runs, something very deep in my thunderdome of a brain just wants to see some insane ball smashing

Watching them hit, its less a question of if, but simply when it gets a little warmer.  I fear for the safety of the Jumbotron
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 28, 2015, 12:05:50 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 28, 2015, 11:19:42 AM
I hate myself that when he does "merely" single in a run or something I am sorta disappointed.

what in the hell is wrong with you
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on April 28, 2015, 01:14:38 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 28, 2015, 12:05:50 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 28, 2015, 11:19:42 AM
I hate myself that when he does "merely" single in a run or something I am sorta disappointed.

what in the hell is wrong with you

Oh, the beautiful irony.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on April 28, 2015, 01:36:52 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on April 28, 2015, 01:14:38 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 28, 2015, 12:05:50 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 28, 2015, 11:19:42 AM
I hate myself that when he does "merely" single in a run or something I am sorta disappointed.

what in the hell is wrong with you

Oh, the beautiful irony.

The question remains perfectly relevant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Doc on April 28, 2015, 01:37:24 PM
Soler, Rizzo, and Bryant are clearly not hitting homeruns because they want to wait until the bleachers are done so the home fans can have a nice souvenir. So, expect the see their dongs down in St. Louis next week. St. Cesspool should be in the low-80s next week, so the warm weather will bring the longball.  Chicks dig the long ball. And Bryant's baby-blues.

But not Slaky. No chick digs Slaky.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 28, 2015, 01:50:06 PM
Quote from: Doc on April 28, 2015, 01:37:24 PM
Soler, Rizzo, and Bryant are clearly not hitting homeruns because they want to wait until the bleachers are done so the home fans can have a nice souvenir. So, expect the see their dongs down in St. Louis next week. St. Cesspool should be in the low-80s next week, so the warm weather will bring the longball.  Chicks dig the long ball. And Bryant's baby-blues.

But not Slaky. No chick digs Slaky.

God Damnit, Marie.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on April 28, 2015, 02:55:01 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on April 28, 2015, 01:50:06 PM
Quote from: Doc on April 28, 2015, 01:37:24 PM
Soler, Rizzo, and Bryant are clearly not hitting homeruns because they want to wait until the bleachers are done so the home fans can have a nice souvenir. So, expect the see their dongs down in St. Louis next week. St. Cesspool should be in the low-80s next week, so the warm weather will bring the longball.  Chicks dig the long ball. And Bryant's baby-blues.

But not Slaky. No chick digs Slaky.

God Damnit, Marie.

Especially not her.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 01, 2015, 11:19:49 PM
Also from MLBTR:

QuoteThe Cubs aren't concerned with a potential grievance being filed against them on behalf of Kris Bryant. Rather, their main concern is trying to find a way to extend him beyond his current allotment of team control. Heyman hears that Cubs are already considering trying to make him a Cub for life, though he also notes that it's a bit early for those discussions.

I think I might need new pants.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 05, 2015, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.

Yeah. My only complaint is a lot of those walks come after he's fouled off the few hittable pitches he got. Like Eli said, walks are a good result in the end but there's a lot of damage he's leaving at the plate. Once he catches up to those pitches there's gonna be hell to pay.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:41:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 05, 2015, 12:34:16 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.

Yeah. My only complaint is a lot of those walks come after he's fouled off the few hittable pitches he got. Like Eli said, walks are a good result in the end but there's a lot of damage he's leaving at the plate. Once he catches up to those pitches there's gonna be hell to pay.

I have noticed the fouls as well as taking some meatballs (he took one right in my wheelhouse last night). But I think that's because he's adjusting and not yet adjusted to what MLB pitchers will do with him.

The joyful positive here is that he has a great eye at the plate and he doesn't chase all that much. When the dingers come, they will rain down.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 05, 2015, 02:20:48 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

Rizzo, Fowler, and Bryant all being on that list is nice. No wonder they rank so high in pitches per plate appearance as a team.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 05, 2015, 02:29:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

My god when this kid starts homering he's never going to stop, is he?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on May 05, 2015, 02:39:36 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

That's a pretty strange list.  There are some hitters there who are among the best in the league at drawing walks but also a bunch of players who rarely walk.  I hae no idea what conclusion to draw but I find it somewhat fascinating.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on May 05, 2015, 03:16:50 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 05, 2015, 02:39:36 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

That's a pretty strange list.  There are some hitters there who are among the best in the league at drawing walks but also a bunch of players who rarely walk.  I hae no idea what conclusion to draw but I find it somewhat fascinating.

I just referenced this new stat in a workplace sports conversation. It is fascinating.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 03:27:32 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 12:27:58 PM
I would like to know what Bryant's stats are when he falls behind and walks...like how many of his 16 BB are after he falls behind. Because I feel like I've seen him get to a 1-2 count and then have an 8 pitch AB and come back and take the walk.

This kid is just extremely polished.

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

We should get an apartment together.

ETA: Bryant hitting third.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CERKyy0WYAAP-3R.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 05, 2015, 03:36:31 PM
Quote from: Tony on May 05, 2015, 03:16:50 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 05, 2015, 02:39:36 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

That's a pretty strange list.  There are some hitters there who are among the best in the league at drawing walks but also a bunch of players who rarely walk.  I hae no idea what conclusion to draw but I find it somewhat fascinating.

I just referenced this new stat in a workplace sports conversation. It is fascinating.

You work with much cooler people than I do.  if I had people at work with whom I could geek out over this stuff, I wouldn't need this shit-for-brains website.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 05, 2015, 03:43:44 PM
Quote from: PANK! on May 05, 2015, 03:36:31 PM
Quote from: Tony on May 05, 2015, 03:16:50 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 05, 2015, 02:39:36 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

That's a pretty strange list.  There are some hitters there who are among the best in the league at drawing walks but also a bunch of players who rarely walk.  I hae no idea what conclusion to draw but I find it somewhat fascinating.

I just referenced this new stat in a workplace sports conversation. It is fascinating.

You work with much cooler people than I do.  if I had people at work with whom I could geek out over this stuff, I wouldn't need this shit-for-brains website.

The only guy I work with who ever wants to talk baseball only wants to do it in reference to his fantasy team, where his ROI for time spent vs. team performance is surely one of the lowest in recorded history.

Plus, he's a Cardinals fan. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 03:44:36 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 05, 2015, 02:39:36 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 05, 2015, 02:17:49 PM

I was wondering about this last night as I'd been thinking the same thing.

He's had 72 PA's this year. Overall, he's seen at least one 3-2 pitch in 23 of those PA's.

But, if you want to look at it from the point of "fall behind, then battle back to 3-2" ...

He's seen either an 0-2 or 1-2 pitch in 30 of those 72 PA's. In 14 of those occasions where he's fallen behind, he's battled back to draw the count full.

So, roughly half the time he's faced an 0-2 or 1-2 count, he's worked to a 3-2.

Across the league, there have been about 19668 PA's where a player has seen an 0-2 or 1-2 count. Of those, only 1072 have battled back to 3-2.

Here's the top 15 in terms of "Battled Back %" which I just made up.


Player FellBh BtlBck BtlBck%
Belt Brandon 22 10 45%
Bryant Kris 30 13 43%
Vogt Stephen 33 14 42%
Granderson Curtis 35 14 40%
Machado Manny 24 9 38%
Iannetta Chris 23 8 35%
Callaspo Alberto 21 7 33%
Rizzo Anthony 25 8 32%
Santana Carlos 32 10 31%
Markakis Nick 36 11 31%
Harper Bryce 47 13 28%
Rodriguez Alex 41 11 27%
Votto Joey 41 11 27%
Goldschmidt Paul 38 10 26%
Fowler Dexter 38 10 26%



It's pretty astounding.

That's a pretty strange list.  There are some hitters there who are among the best in the league at drawing walks but also a bunch of players who rarely walk.  I hae no idea what conclusion to draw but I find it somewhat fascinating.

Yeah, it's kind of a weird set of players.

All of the guys on that list have, in general, a below average (46.1% among hitters) swing rate -- percentage of pitches that they swing at.

Some of that though has to do with what they're seeing. 45% of pitches (again, excluding pitchers hitting) are in the zone -- Rizzo's at 31% and Bryant's at 37.5%. All of the guys see a below average percentage of pitches in the zone.

It also looks like some of those guys just don't swing at first pitch even if it's something in the zone -- for example, Granderson, Vogt, Markakis, and Callaspo are all in the bottom ten in terms of Swing% on 0-0 pitches in the zone. They also have really good contact rates, so once they do start swinging, they'll tend to put the bat on the ball.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 05, 2015, 03:59:34 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 03:27:32 PM
ETA: Bryant hitting third.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CERKyy0WYAAP-3R.jpg)

Like this a lot. Even a 1-2-3 first inning could take 15+ pitches with that top of the order.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 04:00:37 PM
What about hitting Bryant second and Rizzo third? I'm not second guessing Maddon, I'm just using his own logic.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 05, 2015, 08:50:46 PM
Scoring from 2nd on an infield ground out is pretty freaking sweet.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 06, 2015, 01:55:18 PM
Bryce Harper has hit three homers today and there's nothing I want to see more in the entire world than to see some games like that out of Kris.  Start against the Cardinals, please.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CubFaninHydePark on May 06, 2015, 07:31:09 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 06, 2015, 01:55:18 PM
Bryce Harper has hit three homers today and there's nothing I want to see more in the entire world than to see some games like that out of Kris.  Start against the Cardinals, please.

Dingers would be nice, but I'll take him being a consistent walk/RBI machine for the time-being.  I like that he's not pressing for power and is taking what is given to him...or not given to him as the case may be.

Watching him do everything is just awesome...work counts, run the bases, the athleticism of his fielding at third...it's all just bonertime.

I enjoyed Castro going Damien Sandow on him.  Starlin just needs to do that with Bryant's ABs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 07, 2015, 03:19:30 PM
3 K's today. The Cubs have 10 K's in 6 of the last 8 games. It's a thing that needs to not be a thing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 08, 2015, 08:04:04 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 07, 2015, 03:19:30 PM
3 K's today. The Cubs have 10 K's in 6 of the last 8 games. It's a thing that needs to not be a thing.

263 on the season. On pace for 1577, which would best the 2013 Astros (love you guys. Come back, Rick) record of 1535. So, that could be fun
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 08, 2015, 02:06:53 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 05, 2015, 04:00:37 PM
What about hitting Bryant second and Rizzo third? I'm not second guessing Maddon, I'm just using his own logic.

You got your wish, two days in a row. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CubFaninHydePark on May 09, 2015, 06:58:21 PM
Hopefully that's the opening of the floodgates.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 09, 2015, 07:01:41 PM
BONERTIME!
Title: Re: kHRis Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: flannj on May 09, 2015, 07:05:41 PM
Crisp Ryant!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 10, 2015, 01:23:35 AM
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on May 09, 2015, 06:58:21 PM
Hopefully that's the opening of the floodgates.

Well, it certainly opened my floodgates.

By which I mean, I ejaculated semen into my underpants.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 11, 2015, 08:41:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.

You'd think THE Kris Bryant Guy would know Bryant k'd about 30% of the time in the minors and this was bound to happen.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 11, 2015, 08:49:53 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2015, 08:41:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.

You'd think THE Kris Bryant Guy would know Bryant k'd about 30% of the time in the minors and this was bound to happen.

Yeah, he's at 33% now, which isn't even that far out of line.

You should be more concerned that Russell is at 43% (worse than Baez's major-league debut last year) after sitting in the teens for most of his minor league career.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:50:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2015, 08:41:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.

You'd think THE Kris Bryant Guy would know Bryant k'd about 30% of the time in the minors and this was bound to happen.

I don't think I'm being out of line by acknowledging that and wanting the entire lineup to k less.

Also, congrats.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 09:37:34 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 11, 2015, 08:49:53 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2015, 08:41:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.

You'd think THE Kris Bryant Guy would know Bryant k'd about 30% of the time in the minors and this was bound to happen.

Yeah, he's at 33% now, which isn't even that far out of line.

You should be more concerned that Russell is at 43% (worse than Baez's major-league debut last year) after sitting in the teens for most of his minor league career.

Russell is missing fat pitches in the zone a lot too. I wish that he would stop doing that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 11, 2015, 10:07:55 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 09:37:34 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 11, 2015, 08:49:53 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2015, 08:41:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.

You'd think THE Kris Bryant Guy would know Bryant k'd about 30% of the time in the minors and this was bound to happen.

Yeah, he's at 33% now, which isn't even that far out of line.

You should be more concerned that Russell is at 43% (worse than Baez's major-league debut last year) after sitting in the teens for most of his minor league career.

Russell is missing fat pitches in the zone a lot too. I wish that he would stop doing that.

He seems to have trouble with good fastballs. Not sure if he's guessing or if it's just going to take an adjustment to how much better MLB fastballs are. He's 14 years old, so he should be fine.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:50:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2015, 08:41:39 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 11, 2015, 08:19:40 AM
Let's get a handle on the K's.

You'd think THE Kris Bryant Guy would know Bryant k'd about 30% of the time in the minors and this was bound to happen.

I don't think I'm being out of line by acknowledging that and wanting the entire lineup to k less.

Also, congrats.

As long as guys are getting on base, how much of a problem is it, actually?  Of the starters, Soler, Bryant, Fowler, Rizzo and Montero all have above league average OBPs, most of them significantly so, as do Denorfia and Ross.  I mean, I understand that striking out means that you're not moving runners up, but you're not grounding into double plays either, so some of it at least comes out in the wash, surely?  Are strikeouts bad, per se?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 11:22:29 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.

You're not even giving yourself a chance on the BABIP roulette wheel. You're not causing your opponent to make a play on a ball he might muff. I've always been confounded by K's are any other out argument. An at bat against Matt Carpenter is more stressful than at bat against Kris Bryant right now and that has an effect mentally on a pitcher to the point that he might make a mistake in the zone and get hurt badly.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on May 11, 2015, 11:38:37 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 11:22:29 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.

You're not even giving yourself a chance on the BABIP roulette wheel. You're not causing your opponent to make a play on a ball he might muff. I've always been confounded by K's are any other out argument. An at bat against Matt Carpenter is more stressful than at bat against Kris Bryant right now and that has an effect mentally on a pitcher to the point that he might make a mistake in the zone and get hurt badly.



Are you trying to say that a pitcher, regardless of situation, would rather face Reggie Jackson (~23% strikeout %) than Lance Johnson (~7% strikeout %) because he may make a mistake to Lance Johnson?  Or that a Lance Johnson AB would be more stressful than an AB against Reggie Jackson?

By the way, Matt Murton's K rate was ~14%...if you were pitching, whom would you rather face?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 12:25:55 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 11:22:29 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.

You're not even giving yourself a chance on the BABIP roulette wheel. You're not causing your opponent to make a play on a ball he might muff. I've always been confounded by K's are any other out argument. An at bat against Matt Carpenter is more stressful than at bat against Kris Bryant right now and that has an effect mentally on a pitcher to the point that he might make a mistake in the zone and get hurt badly.

A strikeout with bases empty is better than a 1 or 2 pitch out. It's better than hitting into a double play, That's about it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 12:29:57 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 11, 2015, 11:38:37 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 11:22:29 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.

You're not even giving yourself a chance on the BABIP roulette wheel. You're not causing your opponent to make a play on a ball he might muff. I've always been confounded by K's are any other out argument. An at bat against Matt Carpenter is more stressful than at bat against Kris Bryant right now and that has an effect mentally on a pitcher to the point that he might make a mistake in the zone and get hurt badly.



Are you trying to say that a pitcher, regardless of situation, would rather face Reggie Jackson (~23% strikeout %) than Lance Johnson (~7% strikeout %) because he may make a mistake to Lance Johnson?  Or that a Lance Johnson AB would be more stressful than an AB against Reggie Jackson?

By the way, Matt Murton's K rate was ~14%...if you were pitching, whom would you rather face?

Nosir. I'm saying he'd rather face Kris Bryant than Matt Carpenter. Today.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 11, 2015, 12:40:26 PM
If only guys ever got better after less than an entire month in the majors but dammit,  here we are, I guess.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 11, 2015, 02:04:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 12:29:57 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 11, 2015, 11:38:37 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 11:22:29 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.

You're not even giving yourself a chance on the BABIP roulette wheel. You're not causing your opponent to make a play on a ball he might muff. I've always been confounded by K's are any other out argument. An at bat against Matt Carpenter is more stressful than at bat against Kris Bryant right now and that has an effect mentally on a pitcher to the point that he might make a mistake in the zone and get hurt badly.



Are you trying to say that a pitcher, regardless of situation, would rather face Reggie Jackson (~23% strikeout %) than Lance Johnson (~7% strikeout %) because he may make a mistake to Lance Johnson?  Or that a Lance Johnson AB would be more stressful than an AB against Reggie Jackson?

By the way, Matt Murton's K rate was ~14%...if you were pitching, whom would you rather face?

Nosir. I'm saying he'd rather face Kris Bryant than Matt Carpenter. Today.

Well Carpenter has extreme fatigue syndrome TODAY and isn't even able to get out of bed so that's dumb. It'd be easy to strike out a guy who's in bed.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 11, 2015, 02:17:20 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 11, 2015, 02:04:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 12:29:57 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 11, 2015, 11:38:37 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 11, 2015, 11:22:29 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 11, 2015, 10:49:58 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2015, 10:26:29 AM
Are strikeouts bad, per se?

With men on base, they certainly can be. The only plate appearance outcome worse than a K with men on base is a double play.

You're not even giving yourself a chance on the BABIP roulette wheel. You're not causing your opponent to make a play on a ball he might muff. I've always been confounded by K's are any other out argument. An at bat against Matt Carpenter is more stressful than at bat against Kris Bryant right now and that has an effect mentally on a pitcher to the point that he might make a mistake in the zone and get hurt badly.



Are you trying to say that a pitcher, regardless of situation, would rather face Reggie Jackson (~23% strikeout %) than Lance Johnson (~7% strikeout %) because he may make a mistake to Lance Johnson?  Or that a Lance Johnson AB would be more stressful than an AB against Reggie Jackson?

By the way, Matt Murton's K rate was ~14%...if you were pitching, whom would you rather face?

Nosir. I'm saying he'd rather face Kris Bryant than Matt Carpenter. Today.

Well Carpenter has extreme fatigue syndrome TODAY and isn't even able to get out of bed so that's dumb. It'd be easy to strike out a guy who's in bed.

I think that might pose a problem if the pitcher in question were, say, Edwin jackson.

Boom.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 11, 2015, 07:43:16 PM
Swoon
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 13, 2015, 07:45:53 AM
I changed my pants many times last night watching Bryant blast balls all over Wrigley, but him beating out a routine ground ball to 3B is what makes me want to have his children. The dude is 6'5"...there are lesser prospects that loaf that into an out. I'm not going to get all "he plays the game the right way" on us, but I definitely appreciate that kind of effort especially when it earns the Cubs a baserunner.

This guy is just really good at baseball.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on May 13, 2015, 07:58:19 AM
So much to choose from, but I think the triple tingled me the most. Like Len said, that kind of ball does not typically go off the wall. He nearly missed a HR there.

*changes undergarments*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 13, 2015, 08:18:03 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 13, 2015, 07:45:53 AM
I changed my pants many times last night watching Bryant blast balls all over Wrigley, but him beating out a routine ground ball to 3B is what makes me want to have his children. The dude is 6'5"...there are lesser prospects that loaf that into an out. I'm not going to get all "he plays the game the right way" on us, but I definitely appreciate that kind of effort especially when it earns the Cubs a baserunner.

This guy is just really good at baseball.

Him beating out the grounder also led to Syndegaaaaard throwing 18 more pitches than he otherwise would have in the 3rd inning.  Nice play.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on May 13, 2015, 09:20:30 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 13, 2015, 09:22:33 AM
His swing is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.  I want to shower with him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic (https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/598321080739176449) after the game.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic (https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/598321080739176449) after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 13, 2015, 10:06:41 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic (https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/598321080739176449) after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?

He's not ultimately wrong since the end result is technically true. But I feel like it's presented more as a "thank god they were such geniuses to not sign anyone good" rather than just an enormous stroke of luck that they decided to tank and 18 months later the Astros passed on Bryant to draft Appel. Hence my Internet accusations of hindsight.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2015, 10:54:18 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 10:06:41 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic (https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/598321080739176449) after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?

He's not ultimately wrong since the end result is technically true. But I feel like it's presented more as a "thank god they were such geniuses to not sign anyone good" rather than just an enormous stroke of luck that they decided to tank and 18 months later the Astros passed on Bryant to draft Appel. Hence my Internet accusations of hindsight.

A) I said it at the time (that more wins in 2012 and 2013 would delay the getting good) so it's not hindsight.
B) It's primarily a stick poke at the lunatics who were all "EPSTINK IS TURRIBLE" who are now "PRAISE THEO!!!"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 13, 2015, 10:57:46 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2015, 10:54:18 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 10:06:41 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic (https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/598321080739176449) after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?

He's not ultimately wrong since the end result is technically true. But I feel like it's presented more as a "thank god they were such geniuses to not sign anyone good" rather than just an enormous stroke of luck that they decided to tank and 18 months later the Astros passed on Bryant to draft Appel. Hence my Internet accusations of hindsight.

A) I said it at the time (that more wins in 2012 and 2013 would delay the getting good) so it's not hindsight.
B) It's primarily a stick poke at the lunatics who were all "EPSTINK IS TURRIBLE" who are now "PRAISE THEO!!!"

When you put that stuff on the twinternet, who are you talking to? Because most people you associate with about Cubs baseball, I assume, are primarily us...and we aren't those "EPSTINK IS TURRIBLE" people.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on May 13, 2015, 11:19:46 AM
Quote from: Yeti on May 13, 2015, 07:58:19 AM
So much to choose from, but I think the triple tingled me the most. Like Len said, that kind of ball does not typically go off the wall. He nearly missed a HR there.

*changes undergarments*

And with a ball hit that hard off the wall (and played fairly cleanly as it was last night) very seldom does a batter leg out a triple on it.

But the home run was awe inspiring.  One more biscuit for breakfast and it would had been Stantonesque.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 15, 2015, 10:39:53 AM
Bump. He's leading the MLB in Pitches/PA now -- up to 4.44 P/PA.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 15, 2015, 10:40:13 AM
DPD.

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on May 15, 2015, 10:49:06 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 15, 2015, 10:40:13 AM
DPD.

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.

Thought of you when I was at the game Wednesday when Bryant battled back from 0-2 to 3-2 during one of his at-bats.  I was pretty sure it was the first time he BBABDOT or whatever since you came up with that but I enjoyed the occasion very much.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 15, 2015, 02:31:21 PM
BOOMP.

Battled back from 0-2 to 3-2 then hit a big 3-run dong.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 15, 2015, 02:31:55 PM
Attendance: 40,000 boners
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 15, 2015, 02:58:01 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 homers, 37 Ks, 21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330.  1 homer. 25 Ks, 9 BBs

*flying (shirtless) chest bumps Pen*
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 03:04:27 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/RcYhGgz.gif)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 15, 2015, 03:20:33 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 15, 2015, 03:29:32 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs

Comparing ages:

Troy Glaus age 23 season: .284/.404./.604, 47 HR. Let's hope for that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 04:06:07 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 15, 2015, 03:29:32 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs

Comparing ages:

Troy Glaus age 23 season: .284/.404./.604, 47 HR. Let's hope for that.

Eli at Bryant's HOF Induction: 2042

(http://i.imgur.com/Xai8GTW.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 15, 2015, 06:49:16 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 04:06:07 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 15, 2015, 03:29:32 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs

Comparing ages:

Troy Glaus age 23 season: .284/.404./.604, 47 HR. Let's hope for that.

Eli at Bryant's HOF Induction: 2042

(http://i.imgur.com/Xai8GTW.jpg)

Heh. Well, one thing's for sure -- I would definitely take my old co-worker and her will-be-46-year-old daughter to Cooperstown.

(That is decidedly not a euphemism.)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 15, 2015, 09:37:48 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 15, 2015, 06:49:16 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 04:06:07 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 15, 2015, 03:29:32 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs

Comparing ages:

Troy Glaus age 23 season: .284/.404./.604, 47 HR. Let's hope for that.

Eli at Bryant's HOF Induction: 2042

(http://i.imgur.com/Xai8GTW.jpg)

Heh. Well, one thing's for sure -- I would definitely take my old co-worker and her will-be-46-year-old daughter to Cooperstown.

(That is decidedly not a euphemism.)

If you're gonna let that weird painting on the right into the hall of fame, then it's time to let Sammy and McGwire in too.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 17, 2015, 12:26:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 15, 2015, 09:37:48 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 15, 2015, 06:49:16 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 04:06:07 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 15, 2015, 03:29:32 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs

Comparing ages:

Troy Glaus age 23 season: .284/.404./.604, 47 HR. Let's hope for that.

Eli at Bryant's HOF Induction: 2042

(http://i.imgur.com/Xai8GTW.jpg)

Heh. Well, one thing's for sure -- I would definitely take my old co-worker and her will-be-46-year-old daughter to Cooperstown.

(That is decidedly not a euphemism.)

If you're gonna let that weird painting on the right into the hall of fame, then it's time to let Sammy and McGwire in too.

One of your least unfunny, confusing and irritating posts in a while.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 21, 2015, 10:27:56 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on May 25, 2015, 01:36:35 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 21, 2015, 10:27:56 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 26, 2015, 08:27:22 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 25, 2015, 01:36:35 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 21, 2015, 10:27:56 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 26, 2015, 08:31:43 PM
That was beautiful. I'm pretty sure I got brane damage frum a lack of ocksigin to th brane.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 26, 2015, 08:37:43 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 26, 2015, 08:31:43 PM
That was beautiful. I'm pretty sure I got brane damage frum a lack of ocksigin to th brane.

You seem fine to me.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 26, 2015, 09:03:24 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 25, 2015, 01:36:35 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 21, 2015, 10:27:56 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 27, 2015, 07:27:00 AM
One of these days, he's hitting one to Milwaukee.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 01, 2015, 03:13:05 PM
Apparently Chuck sponsored the Kris Bryant BB-Ref page.
(http://i.imgur.com/Q5vIdRG.png)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on June 02, 2015, 08:36:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 01, 2015, 03:13:05 PM
Apparently Chuck sponsored the Kris Bryant BB-Ref page.
(http://i.imgur.com/Q5vIdRG.png)

Yep.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 03, 2015, 03:49:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.

Or Joc Pederson
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2015, 08:16:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 03, 2015, 03:49:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.

Or Joc Pederson

Yeah right. Like other teams even have prospects.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 04, 2015, 11:43:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2015, 08:16:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 03, 2015, 03:49:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.

Or Joc Pederson

Yeah right. Like other teams even have prospects.

Joc's not a name, it's clearly a comic book character and everyone is just confused.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 04, 2015, 11:47:20 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 04, 2015, 11:43:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2015, 08:16:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 03, 2015, 03:49:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.

Or Joc Pederson

Yeah right. Like other teams even have prospects.

Joc's not a name, it's clearly a comic book character and everyone is just confused.

I assume he was supposed to be named "Joe" and someone had terrible handwriting.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 04, 2015, 02:28:44 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2015, 11:47:20 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 04, 2015, 11:43:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2015, 08:16:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 03, 2015, 03:49:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.

Or Joc Pederson

Yeah right. Like other teams even have prospects.

Joc's not a name, it's clearly a comic book character and everyone is just confused.

I assume he was supposed to be named "Joe" and someone had terrible handwriting.

Or "Jon", but that name is a spelling error too.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on June 05, 2015, 05:10:53 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on June 04, 2015, 02:28:44 PM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2015, 11:47:20 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 04, 2015, 11:43:09 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 04, 2015, 08:16:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 03, 2015, 03:49:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 03, 2015, 03:47:16 PM
NL Rookie of the Month. Sets him up nicely to alternate that award with Addison Russell the rest of the season.

Or Joc Pederson

Yeah right. Like other teams even have prospects.

Joc's not a name, it's clearly a comic book character and everyone is just confused.

I assume he was supposed to be named "Joe" and someone had terrible handwriting.

Or "Jon", but that name is a spelling error too.

God damn it, Marie.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 08, 2015, 11:03:30 AM
3-4, a home run short of the cycle yesterday. That's bump worthy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 08, 2015, 12:37:42 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 08, 2015, 11:03:30 AM
3-4, a home run short of the cycle yesterday. That's bump worthy.

Please. Wake me when he actually gets the homer. That bum-ass slacker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bonk on June 18, 2015, 02:23:57 PM
Bumped for a grand slam off a position player's heat.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 18, 2015, 03:13:45 PM
Quote from: Bonk on June 18, 2015, 02:23:57 PM
Bumped for a grand slam off a position player's heat.

Bumped because Kris hit some homers in batting practice off a tee in 8th grade a couple times
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 18, 2015, 04:20:02 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2015, 03:13:45 PM
Quote from: Bonk on June 18, 2015, 02:23:57 PM
Bumped for a grand slam off a position player's heat.

Bumped because Kris hit some homers in batting practice off a tee in 8th grade a couple times

Yeah, but he's no Josh Vitters.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 19, 2015, 11:20:27 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on June 18, 2015, 04:20:02 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2015, 03:13:45 PM
Quote from: Bonk on June 18, 2015, 02:23:57 PM
Bumped for a grand slam off a position player's heat.

Bumped because Kris hit some homers in batting practice off a tee in 8th grade a couple times

Yeah, but he's no Josh Vitters.

I don't know why, but I Googled Josh Vitters. This is how far we've come...

QuoteThe Cubs promoted Vitters and fellow prospect Brett Jackson from the Iowa Cubs of the Class AAA Pacific Coast League on August 5, 2012.[11] He made his Major League debut later that day as a pinch hitter in the seventh inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers [12] Vitters' first MLB hit was a double against the San Diego Padres August 7, 2012, pinch hitting for pitcher Jeff Beliveau in the seventh inning, scoring both Steve Clevenger and Darwin Barney.

It's been a looong road....without you, my friend...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 19, 2015, 01:30:54 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 19, 2015, 11:20:27 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on June 18, 2015, 04:20:02 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 18, 2015, 03:13:45 PM
Quote from: Bonk on June 18, 2015, 02:23:57 PM
Bumped for a grand slam off a position player's heat.

Bumped because Kris hit some homers in batting practice off a tee in 8th grade a couple times

Yeah, but he's no Josh Vitters.

I don't know why, but I Googled Josh Vitters. This is how far we've come...

QuoteThe Cubs promoted Vitters and fellow prospect Brett Jackson from the Iowa Cubs of the Class AAA Pacific Coast League on August 5, 2012.[11] He made his Major League debut later that day as a pinch hitter in the seventh inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers [12] Vitters' first MLB hit was a double against the San Diego Padres August 7, 2012, pinch hitting for pitcher Jeff Beliveau in the seventh inning, scoring both Steve Clevenger and Darwin Barney.

It's been a looong road day....without you, my friend...

A MAN IS DEAD, you asshole'd
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on June 19, 2015, 01:33:18 PM
Ah well...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on June 19, 2015, 03:17:27 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 19, 2015, 01:33:18 PM
Ah well...

I don't understand this post.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 19, 2015, 03:32:56 PM
Quote from: Oleg on June 19, 2015, 03:17:27 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on June 19, 2015, 01:33:18 PM
Ah well...

I don't understand this post.

Went over your head?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 19, 2015, 04:14:19 PM
Bryant, in 56 games:
.294/.396/.483/.879. 22 XBH, 8 HR, 33 BB, 74 SO, and just to be different he's 5-for-6 on the bases and has two triples. As good as he's been - and I'll be honest, I expected him to struggle with OBP this season - there's about 100 more points of slugging percentage in that bat that we haven't seen yet. He's done pretty much the opposite of what I expected. I thought he'd have plenty of power numbers but the strikeouts would kill his OBP and BA. Instead he's basically gone all-in on discipline and approach and I'm very impressed. This is gonna be awesome.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 19, 2015, 09:50:00 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 19, 2015, 04:14:19 PM
Bryant, in 56 games:
.294/.396/.483/.879. 22 XBH, 8 HR, 33 BB, 74 SO, and just to be different he's 5-for-6 on the bases and has two triples. As good as he's been - and I'll be honest, I expected him to struggle with OBP this season - there's about 100 more points of slugging percentage in that bat that we haven't seen yet. He's done pretty much the opposite of what I expected. I thought he'd have plenty of power numbers but the strikeouts would kill his OBP and BA. Instead he's basically gone all-in on discipline and approach and I'm very impressed. This is gonna be awesome.

I'd take a .294/.396/.483 line for the next decade from him and never complain once. The fact that there's upside beyond that is pretty amazing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 20, 2015, 02:17:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 19, 2015, 09:50:00 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 19, 2015, 04:14:19 PM
Bryant, in 56 games:
.294/.396/.483/.879. 22 XBH, 8 HR, 33 BB, 74 SO, and just to be different he's 5-for-6 on the bases and has two triples. As good as he's been - and I'll be honest, I expected him to struggle with OBP this season - there's about 100 more points of slugging percentage in that bat that we haven't seen yet. He's done pretty much the opposite of what I expected. I thought he'd have plenty of power numbers but the strikeouts would kill his OBP and BA. Instead he's basically gone all-in on discipline and approach and I'm very impressed. This is gonna be awesome.

I'd take a .294/.396/.483 line for the next decade from him and never complain once. The fact that there's upside beyond that is pretty amazing.

More from Baseball Reference, which hasn't yet updated with last night's results:
Season OPS+: 144 (yes please)

Current stats extrapolated to 162 games:
723 PA, 610 AB, 179 H, 35 2B, 6 3B, 23 HR, 14-for-17 SB, 95 BB, 214 SO, 6 GDP, 12 HBP.

That homer total is definitely not reflecting his power potential.  His BABIP is .412, so there's going to be some regression there, but from watching the games it just seems like he's not hitting pitches out that he should be hitting out.  I expect him to learn how as the season goes on and I'm really glad he's on the Cubs and not the Astros, those dumbasses.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on June 20, 2015, 10:56:15 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2015, 02:17:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 19, 2015, 09:50:00 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 19, 2015, 04:14:19 PM
Bryant, in 56 games:
.294/.396/.483/.879. 22 XBH, 8 HR, 33 BB, 74 SO, and just to be different he's 5-for-6 on the bases and has two triples. As good as he's been - and I'll be honest, I expected him to struggle with OBP this season - there's about 100 more points of slugging percentage in that bat that we haven't seen yet. He's done pretty much the opposite of what I expected. I thought he'd have plenty of power numbers but the strikeouts would kill his OBP and BA. Instead he's basically gone all-in on discipline and approach and I'm very impressed. This is gonna be awesome.

I'd take a .294/.396/.483 line for the next decade from him and never complain once. The fact that there's upside beyond that is pretty amazing.

More from Baseball Reference, which hasn't yet updated with last night's results:
Season OPS+: 144 (yes please)

Current stats extrapolated to 162 games:
723 PA, 610 AB, 179 H, 35 2B, 6 3B, 23 HR, 14-for-17 SB, 95 BB, 214 SO, 6 GDP, 12 HBP.

That homer total is definitely not reflecting his power potential.  His BABIP is .412, so there's going to be some regression there, but from watching the games it just seems like he's not hitting pitches out that he should be hitting out.  I expect him to learn how as the season goes on and I'm really glad he's on the Cubs and not the Astros, those dumbasses.

Can't we have this?:
711 PA, 577 AB, 189 H, 34 2B, 5 3B, 64 HR, 0-2 SB, 116 BB, 153 SO, 6 GDP, 6 HPB
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on June 20, 2015, 11:35:18 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2015, 02:17:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 19, 2015, 09:50:00 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 19, 2015, 04:14:19 PM
Bryant, in 56 games:
.294/.396/.483/.879. 22 XBH, 8 HR, 33 BB, 74 SO, and just to be different he's 5-for-6 on the bases and has two triples. As good as he's been - and I'll be honest, I expected him to struggle with OBP this season - there's about 100 more points of slugging percentage in that bat that we haven't seen yet. He's done pretty much the opposite of what I expected. I thought he'd have plenty of power numbers but the strikeouts would kill his OBP and BA. Instead he's basically gone all-in on discipline and approach and I'm very impressed. This is gonna be awesome.

I'd take a .294/.396/.483 line for the next decade from him and never complain once. The fact that there's upside beyond that is pretty amazing.

More from Baseball Reference, which hasn't yet updated with last night's results:
Season OPS+: 144 (yes please)

Current stats extrapolated to 162 games:
723 PA, 610 AB, 179 H, 35 2B, 6 3B, 23 HR, 14-for-17 SB, 95 BB, 214 SO, 6 GDP, 12 HBP.

That homer total is definitely not reflecting his power potential.  His BABIP is .412, so there's going to be some regression there, but from watching the games it just seems like he's not hitting pitches out that he should be hitting out.  I expect him to learn how as the season goes on and I'm really glad he's on the Cubs and not the Astros, those dumbasses.

Based on how selective he is maybe the BABIP doesn't have to regress that much. Just wondering - and someone smarter can tell me if I'm being obtuse - but he has a lot of at bats where he doesn't put a ball in play due to walking or striking out which SUGGESTS that he's only really trying to hit pitches that are really, really hittable.

Hence, his BABIP would be higher because his contact quality is higher. No?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 20, 2015, 12:12:36 PM
Quote from: Slaky on June 20, 2015, 11:35:18 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 20, 2015, 02:17:26 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 19, 2015, 09:50:00 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 19, 2015, 04:14:19 PM
Bryant, in 56 games:
.294/.396/.483/.879. 22 XBH, 8 HR, 33 BB, 74 SO, and just to be different he's 5-for-6 on the bases and has two triples. As good as he's been - and I'll be honest, I expected him to struggle with OBP this season - there's about 100 more points of slugging percentage in that bat that we haven't seen yet. He's done pretty much the opposite of what I expected. I thought he'd have plenty of power numbers but the strikeouts would kill his OBP and BA. Instead he's basically gone all-in on discipline and approach and I'm very impressed. This is gonna be awesome.

I'd take a .294/.396/.483 line for the next decade from him and never complain once. The fact that there's upside beyond that is pretty amazing.

More from Baseball Reference, which hasn't yet updated with last night's results:
Season OPS+: 144 (yes please)

Current stats extrapolated to 162 games:
723 PA, 610 AB, 179 H, 35 2B, 6 3B, 23 HR, 14-for-17 SB, 95 BB, 214 SO, 6 GDP, 12 HBP.

That homer total is definitely not reflecting his power potential.  His BABIP is .412, so there's going to be some regression there, but from watching the games it just seems like he's not hitting pitches out that he should be hitting out.  I expect him to learn how as the season goes on and I'm really glad he's on the Cubs and not the Astros, those dumbasses.

Based on how selective he is maybe the BABIP doesn't have to regress that much. Just wondering - and someone smarter can tell me if I'm being obtuse - but he has a lot of at bats where he doesn't put a ball in play due to walking or striking out which SUGGESTS that he's only really trying to hit pitches that are really, really hittable.

Hence, his BABIP would be higher because his contact quality is higher. No?

This was mentioned when he was in the minors and people panicked over his low contact rates. Unlike most low contact hitters he managed a consistently high batting average because the quality of the contact he does make is insane and unprecedented.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CubFaninHydePark on June 22, 2015, 08:29:05 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVm-FY-9X5M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVm-FY-9X5M)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:44:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?

First to take him deep to the opposite field on a non-fastball.
First to take him deep to the opposite field on a pitcher's count.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:23:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:44:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?

First to take him deep to the opposite field on a non-fastball.
First to take him deep to the opposite field on a pitcher's count.

Pick a lane?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 09:26:26 PM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:23:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:44:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?

First to take him deep to the opposite field on a non-fastball.
First to take him deep to the opposite field on a pitcher's count.

Pick a lane?

Good catch. That should be "the hitter was ahead"*

Also, this is just the second game in Kershaw's career where he's given up two HR on non-fastballs (gave up two to the Reds in September 2013).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 22, 2015, 09:44:32 PM
Boner (http://m.cubs.mlb.com/chc/video/v189398183/ladchc-bryant-hits-a-tworun-homer-off-kershaw/?affiliateId=clubMEGAMENU).  Time (http://m.cubs.mlb.com/chc/video/topic/vtp_best_moments/v189699983?game_pk=414707).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:45:02 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 09:26:26 PM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:23:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:44:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?

First to take him deep to the opposite field on a non-fastball.
First to take him deep to the opposite field on a pitcher's count.

Pick a lane?

Good catch. That should be "the hitter was ahead"*

Also, this is just the second game in Kershaw's career where he's given up two HR on non-fastballs (gave up two to the Reds in September 2013).

I knew what you meant anyway.  I was just being a dick.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 22, 2015, 11:03:47 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on May 15, 2015, 03:02:08 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 15, 2015, 02:33:24 PM

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 23, 2015, 08:48:43 AM
Up to 9th in the National League in fWAR, first among 3B.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 23, 2015, 09:00:21 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2015, 08:48:43 AM
Up to 9th in the National League in fWAR, first among 3B.

Intrepid Reader: Todd (Frazier)

Hi.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 23, 2015, 09:03:25 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 23, 2015, 09:00:21 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2015, 08:48:43 AM
Up to 9th in the National League in fWAR, first among 3B.

Intrepid Reader: Todd (Frazier)

Hi.

I skipped right over his name because who the hell pays any attention to someone named Todd?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on June 23, 2015, 09:12:19 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2015, 09:03:25 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 23, 2015, 09:00:21 AM
Quote from: Eli on June 23, 2015, 08:48:43 AM
Up to 9th in the National League in fWAR, first among 3B.

Intrepid Reader: Todd (Frazier)

Hi.

I skipped right over his name because who the hell pays any attention to someone named Todd?

Glenview cops on DUI patrol.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on June 23, 2015, 09:43:56 AM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:45:02 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 09:26:26 PM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:23:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:44:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?

First to take him deep to the opposite field on a non-fastball.
First to take him deep to the opposite field on a pitcher's count.

Pick a lane?

Good catch. That should be "the hitter was ahead"*

Also, this is just the second game in Kershaw's career where he's given up two HR on non-fastballs (gave up two to the Reds in September 2013).

I knew what you meant anyway.  I was just being a dick.

Kershaw's now given up more home runs this year than he did all of last year. The pitch to Bryant was pure trash. I'm not saying this to slight Bryant who killed that mistake like it was his jorb, but just to say that Kershaw isn't as dominant as he has been in years past and that's a good thing because the Dodgers are in the National League and stuff.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 23, 2015, 09:46:04 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on June 23, 2015, 09:43:56 AM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:45:02 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 09:26:26 PM
Quote from: Oleg on June 22, 2015, 09:23:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:44:37 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:42:46 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:40:49 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on June 22, 2015, 08:35:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on June 22, 2015, 08:18:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 22, 2015, 08:12:45 PM
Opposite field homer off Clayton fucking Kershaw on a 1-2 breaking ball. My God

The only other player to take Kershaw deep to the opposite field since the start of 2013 2012 2011 was Braun. That was on a 3-1 fastball.

Edit: start of 2012
Edit2: start of 2011

Pick a lane.

Sorry, only had 2013-15 data on hand.

I've checked all the way back to 2008, Kershaw's first year.

2008 - three opposite field HR's allowed (Hawpe, Dukes, Dunn).
2010 - two opposite field HR's allowed (Votto, Helton)
2014 - one opposite field HR allowed (Braun)

All 6 of those were on fastballs. All were counts that were even or the hitter was behind.


So Kris was the first to homer in that situation on a breaking ball (a hanger though it may be)?

First to take him deep to the opposite field on a non-fastball.
First to take him deep to the opposite field on a pitcher's count.

Pick a lane?

Good catch. That should be "the hitter was ahead"*

Also, this is just the second game in Kershaw's career where he's given up two HR on non-fastballs (gave up two to the Reds in September 2013).

I knew what you meant anyway.  I was just being a dick.

Kershaw's now given up more home runs this year than he did all of last year. The pitch to Bryant was pure trash. I'm not saying this to slight Bryant who killed that mistake like it was his jorb, but just to say that Kershaw isn't as dominant as he has been in years past and that's a good thing because the Dodgers are in the National League and stuff.

He was still 2nd in the NL in FIP I believe and I think first in xFIP. On the whole he's still pretty dominant. Just possible he's not getting away with the few mistakes he does make like has in the past. My guess is that's not the first time he's hung a curveball in his career, but it is the first time he's apparently allowed one to go opposite field on him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 04, 2015, 06:33:32 PM
KRIS FUCKING BRYANT
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on July 04, 2015, 06:59:55 PM
CHOO CHOO
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 04, 2015, 07:04:29 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 04, 2015, 06:33:32 PM
KRIS FUCKING BRYANT
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on July 05, 2015, 07:53:52 PM
Per Fangraphs:

15th in offensive WAR
13th in overall WAR
4th in WAR among 3B, with about 10% fewer plate appearances than the top 3
1st in WAR among Cubs, edging out Anthony Damn Rizzo by a hair

And it's just starting to warm up in Chicago. This guy is a hell of a sportsman.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 18, 2015, 09:29:50 PM
I was going to bitch about him swinging at everything lately then I relaxed and repeated "he's a rookie" to myself for a few minutes.  He's going to be fine.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 21, 2015, 07:47:44 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 18, 2015, 09:29:50 PM
I was going to bitch about him swinging at everything lately then I relaxed and repeated "he's a rookie" to myself for a few minutes.  He's going to be fine.

Still swallowing my anger at that ugly swing-and-miss on a ball right in the middle of the zone with runners on that he should've launched 480 feet.  Hopefully next time he knocks one of Cincy's stupid riverboat stacks over with a line drive dong.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on July 21, 2015, 09:31:50 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 21, 2015, 07:47:44 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 18, 2015, 09:29:50 PM
I was going to bitch about him swinging at everything lately then I relaxed and repeated "he's a rookie" to myself for a few minutes.  He's going to be fine.

Still swallowing my anger at that ugly swing-and-miss on a ball right in the middle of the zone with runners on that he should've launched 480 feet.  Hopefully next time he knocks one of Cincy's stupid riverboat stacks over with a line drive dong.

Him and Rizzo appear to be scuffling. It's not prudent.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 23, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

According to my source (Dan Bernstein), Kris has been out drinking late too many times. I'd say that explains everything. Kids, man.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 11:33:28 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

The problem could actually be mechanical. Coomer (I know, I know) pointed out that his head is coming off the ball on a lot of hittable fastballs. Someone asked Maddon about that very thing and he said it might be fatigue-related, which is possible. If a guy is tired, his mechanics can get screwed up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 23, 2015, 11:36:02 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 23, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

According to my source (Dan Bernstein), Kris has been out drinking late too many times. I'd say that explains everything. Kids, man.

They don't make them like Mickey Mantle any more.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on July 23, 2015, 11:58:10 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:36:02 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 23, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

According to my source (Dan Bernstein), Kris has been out drinking late too many times. I'd say that explains everything. Kids, man.

They don't make them like *Mickey Mantle any more.

* The All-American Boy
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:04:08 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 11:33:28 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

The problem could actually be mechanical. Coomer (I know, I know) pointed out that his head is coming off the ball on a lot of hittable fastballs. Someone asked Maddon about that very thing and he said it might be fatigue-related, which is possible. If a guy is tired, his mechanics can get screwed up.

I think there's some truth to this. Dude just looks tired sometimes. Another reason why it would be nice if Mike Olt or Mendy could have gotten their shit together or La Stella hadn't died. Really hard to give Bryant a true breather if the replacement is Jonathan Herrera and you're struggling to score runs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 23, 2015, 12:12:20 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on July 23, 2015, 11:58:10 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:36:02 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 23, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

According to my source (Dan Bernstein), Kris has been out drinking late too many times. I'd say that explains everything. Kids, man.

They don't make them like *Mickey Mantle any more.

* The All-American Boy

For starters, I thought Bryant didn't drink.  Or is that just a lie?  Or did he start drinking and just can't handle it?

For another, not to go all Fork-with-an-ACL-tear but I used to play on a Sunday morning softball team when I was in my 20's and used to have my best games after a long night of boozing.  Conversely, when I would stay in and rest up--like before a playoff game--I never played as well. Couldn't really explain it other than when you're fatigued and hungover you think less and react more.  I dunno.  I think even if you're a lightweight, as long as you're in your 20's, being hungover shouldn't really effect your play, unless you have the shits or something.

In short, I think this suggestion is as wrong as it is malicious.  Knock it off, fucksticks.  All players struggle, even exceptional rookies.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:22:45 PM
Yeah I really think the "what's wrong with him?" stuff is overblown. He's a rookie, and he's one that strikes out 30% of the time even when he's going well, so his slumps are going to look uglier than most because you notice the brutal K's more when he's not mashing the ball off or over the wall in his other 3 at bats a game. He'll get hot again and crush some long dongs and we'll forget all about it.

I'm more confused by the Rizzo slump, because a guy who went from chasing basically nothing the first couple months of the season has chased a lot of junk outside the zone lately, and that seems weird to me. It's possible he's just pressing, but I just don't know why he'd have ever changed his approach.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 12:37:29 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:22:45 PM
Yeah I really think the "what's wrong with him?" stuff is overblown. He's a rookie, and he's one that strikes out 30% of the time even when he's going well, so his slumps are going to look uglier than most because you notice the brutal K's more when he's not mashing the ball off or over the wall in his other 3 at bats a game. He'll get hot again and crush some long dongs and we'll forget all about it.

I'm more confused by the Rizzo slump, because a guy who went from chasing basically nothing the first couple months of the season has chased a lot of junk outside the zone lately, and that seems weird to me. It's possible he's just pressing, but I just don't know why he'd have ever changed his approach.

I think it's obvious that the home run derby has killed them in the second half and that they're both drunk a lot and they should trade them.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 02:16:21 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:04:08 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 11:33:28 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

The problem could actually be mechanical. Coomer (I know, I know) pointed out that his head is coming off the ball on a lot of hittable fastballs. Someone asked Maddon about that very thing and he said it might be fatigue-related, which is possible. If a guy is tired, his mechanics can get screwed up.

I think there's some truth to this. Dude just looks tired sometimes. Another reason why it would be nice if Mike Olt or Mendy could have gotten their shit together or La Stella hadn't died. Really hard to give Bryant a true breather if the replacement is Jonathan Herrera and you're struggling to score runs.

Okay, am I really going to be the asshole that sticks up for Jonathan Herrera here?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 23, 2015, 02:21:33 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 02:16:21 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:04:08 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 11:33:28 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

The problem could actually be mechanical. Coomer (I know, I know) pointed out that his head is coming off the ball on a lot of hittable fastballs. Someone asked Maddon about that very thing and he said it might be fatigue-related, which is possible. If a guy is tired, his mechanics can get screwed up.

I think there's some truth to this. Dude just looks tired sometimes. Another reason why it would be nice if Mike Olt or Mendy could have gotten their shit together or La Stella hadn't died. Really hard to give Bryant a true breather if the replacement is Jonathan Herrera and you're struggling to score runs.

Okay, am I really going to be the asshole that sticks up for Jonathan Herrera here?

What do you mean by stick up for him? He's not a good baseball player. He's gotten some hits lately, but he's still a sub replacement level player (-0.2 bWAR, even with his recent hot streak). If the team was scoring 6 runs a game you'd live with giving him spot starts over Bryant. When you can't score, it's pretty hard to put him in for Kris Bryant, even if Bryant needs it.

Would have been nice for either if Olt could have at least hit enough to combine with his raw power and good defense at third to make him a viable spot starter for Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 02:26:47 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 02:21:33 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 02:16:21 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:04:08 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 11:33:28 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

The problem could actually be mechanical. Coomer (I know, I know) pointed out that his head is coming off the ball on a lot of hittable fastballs. Someone asked Maddon about that very thing and he said it might be fatigue-related, which is possible. If a guy is tired, his mechanics can get screwed up.

I think there's some truth to this. Dude just looks tired sometimes. Another reason why it would be nice if Mike Olt or Mendy could have gotten their shit together or La Stella hadn't died. Really hard to give Bryant a true breather if the replacement is Jonathan Herrera and you're struggling to score runs.

Okay, am I really going to be the asshole that sticks up for Jonathan Herrera here?

What do you mean by stick up for him? He's not a good baseball player. He's gotten some hits lately, but he's still a sub replacement level player (-0.2 bWAR, even with his recent hot streak). If the team was scoring 6 runs a game you'd live with giving him spot starts over Bryant. When you can't score, it's pretty hard to put him in for Kris Bryant, even if Bryant needs it.

Would have been nice for either if Olt could have at least hit enough to combine with his raw power and good defense at third to make him a viable spot starter for Bryant.

I'm not arguing Herrera long term, here, but I think we can't just gloss over the fact that Herrera has played and hit well when he's filled in.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 23, 2015, 02:33:30 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 02:26:47 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 02:21:33 PM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 02:16:21 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 23, 2015, 12:04:08 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on July 23, 2015, 11:33:28 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

The problem could actually be mechanical. Coomer (I know, I know) pointed out that his head is coming off the ball on a lot of hittable fastballs. Someone asked Maddon about that very thing and he said it might be fatigue-related, which is possible. If a guy is tired, his mechanics can get screwed up.

I think there's some truth to this. Dude just looks tired sometimes. Another reason why it would be nice if Mike Olt or Mendy could have gotten their shit together or La Stella hadn't died. Really hard to give Bryant a true breather if the replacement is Jonathan Herrera and you're struggling to score runs.

Okay, am I really going to be the asshole that sticks up for Jonathan Herrera here?

What do you mean by stick up for him? He's not a good baseball player. He's gotten some hits lately, but he's still a sub replacement level player (-0.2 bWAR, even with his recent hot streak). If the team was scoring 6 runs a game you'd live with giving him spot starts over Bryant. When you can't score, it's pretty hard to put him in for Kris Bryant, even if Bryant needs it.

Would have been nice for either if Olt could have at least hit enough to combine with his raw power and good defense at third to make him a viable spot starter for Bryant.

I'm not arguing Herrera long term, here, but I think we can't just gloss over the fact that Herrera has played and hit well when he's filled in.

(http://i59.tinypic.com/2v30j9d.png)

He's had a nice July (although in the last week he's at .231/.231/.308/.538), but the rest of the year he was abysmal, and has been his entire career. He's bad at baseball, and everything about his career suggests that he's far more likely to go 0-4 any time you stick him in as a starter than he is to keep hitting like he did during a two week hot streak. For a team that's struggling to score runs like the Cubs, with a slim lead in the wild card, it's hard for Joe to give a scrub like Herrera even the occasional start over Bryant, even if it's what would be best for Bryant and, long term, best for the team. He tried to do it last night and yanked Herrera for Bryant the second Bryant had a chance to provide some offense.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on July 23, 2015, 04:42:37 PM
The short answer to IAN's question is "Yes, apparently you are."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 24, 2015, 03:53:51 PM
TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF DONG
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on July 26, 2015, 10:50:01 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 23, 2015, 12:12:20 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on July 23, 2015, 11:58:10 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:36:02 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 23, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

According to my source (Dan Bernstein), Kris has been out drinking late too many times. I'd say that explains everything. Kids, man.

They don't make them like *Mickey Mantle any more.

* The All-American Boy

For starters, I thought Bryant didn't drink.  Or is that just a lie?  Or did he start drinking and just can't handle it?

For another, not to go all Fork-with-an-ACL-tear but I used to play on a Sunday morning softball team when I was in my 20's and used to have my best games after a long night of boozing.  Conversely, when I would stay in and rest up--like before a playoff game--I never played as well. Couldn't really explain it other than when you're fatigued and hungover you think less and react more.  I dunno.  I think even if you're a lightweight, as long as you're in your 20's, being hungover shouldn't really effect your play, unless you have the shits or something.

In short, I think this suggestion is as wrong as it is malicious.  Knock it off, fucksticks.  All players struggle, even exceptional rookies.

Waitwaitwait.

Huey makes this hilarious comparison between his boozing/softball antics and those of a major league baseball player and not one of you says a fucking thing?

I mean COME ON.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on July 26, 2015, 05:43:38 PM
Quote from: CT III on July 26, 2015, 10:50:01 AM
Quote from: PANK! on July 23, 2015, 12:12:20 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on July 23, 2015, 11:58:10 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:36:02 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on July 23, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on July 23, 2015, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on July 23, 2015, 10:33:20 AM
My homie Bryant has been having a tough go lately, but a timely single yesterday and some more contact during both games yesterday hopefully means some obliterated baseballs in the future.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Bryant gives the best AB's along with Rizzo in the lineup? I feel like, maybe even to his own detriment, that Bryant more often than not falls behind in the count only to battle back to 3-2...and he does it a lot. I don't have data or really know how to look that up (it's probably not hard, I'm just lazy)...but it FEELS like it...nah mean?

ETA: What I mean by "his own detriment" is that it feels like he misses a lot of hittable pitches early in counts...he'll get a 2-1 FB right where he wants it only to foul it off. He will make it rain baseballs soon my friends.

That's usually the sign of a guy who is overthinking. If that's the case, I'm sure someone will get him out of his own head pretty soon.

According to my source (Dan Bernstein), Kris has been out drinking late too many times. I'd say that explains everything. Kids, man.

They don't make them like *Mickey Mantle any more.

* The All-American Boy

For starters, I thought Bryant didn't drink.  Or is that just a lie?  Or did he start drinking and just can't handle it?

For another, not to go all Fork-with-an-ACL-tear but I used to play on a Sunday morning softball team when I was in my 20's and used to have my best games after a long night of boozing.  Conversely, when I would stay in and rest up--like before a playoff game--I never played as well. Couldn't really explain it other than when you're fatigued and hungover you think less and react more.  I dunno.  I think even if you're a lightweight, as long as you're in your 20's, being hungover shouldn't really effect your play, unless you have the shits or something.

In short, I think this suggestion is as wrong as it is malicious.  Knock it off, fucksticks.  All players struggle, even exceptional rookies.

Waitwaitwait.

Huey makes this hilarious comparison between his boozing/softball antics and those of a major league baseball player and not one of you says a fucking thing?

I mean COME ON.

We were waiting for you
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CubFaninHydePark on July 27, 2015, 10:48:15 PM
Booze away Kris, booze away.

Or is this not the message we want to send to walkoff hitting kids?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 27, 2015, 10:48:29 PM
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppp
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 27, 2015, 10:49:01 PM
BOOM
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 02, 2015, 04:52:25 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.

No concussion. Hopefully back in tomorrow
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 02, 2015, 05:10:06 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 02, 2015, 04:52:25 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.

No concussion. Hopefully back in tomorrow

Hopefully.  It looked really bad the way he reacted.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on August 02, 2015, 05:58:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 02, 2015, 04:52:25 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.

No concussion. Hopefully back in tomorrow

Hope not. Glad they took him out - that was the right thing to do.

Need him against Pittsburgh. This series is going to be something.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on August 02, 2015, 07:22:59 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 02, 2015, 05:58:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 02, 2015, 04:52:25 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.

No concussion. Hopefully back in tomorrow

Hope not. Glad they took him out - that was the right thing to do.

Need him against Pittsburgh. This series is going to be something.

Agreed, Slak. Even without Bryant, the next week is setting itself up in ways we'd have only hoped for in March, in that both Lester and Arrieta will both pitch against Pissburgh and San Fran over the course of the next 7 days.

Bring it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 02, 2015, 09:29:46 PM
Quote from: PANK! on August 02, 2015, 07:22:59 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 02, 2015, 05:58:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 02, 2015, 04:52:25 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.

No concussion. Hopefully back in tomorrow

Hope not. Glad they took him out - that was the right thing to do.

Need him against Pittsburgh. This series is going to be something.

Agreed, Slak. Even without Bryant, the next week is setting itself up in ways we'd have only hoped for in March, in that both Lester and Arrieta will both pitch against Pissburgh and San Fran over the course of the next 7 days.

Bring it.

Meaningful baseball in August. What a wonderful world we live in.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 03, 2015, 12:42:43 PM
Quote from: PANK! on August 02, 2015, 07:22:59 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 02, 2015, 05:58:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 02, 2015, 04:52:25 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 02, 2015, 03:09:34 PM
Uh-oh.

No concussion. Hopefully back in tomorrow

Hope not. Glad they took him out - that was the right thing to do.

Need him against Pittsburgh. This series is going to be something.

Agreed, Slak. Even without Bryant, the next week is setting itself up in ways we'd have only hoped for in March, in that both Lester and Arrieta will both pitch against Pissburgh and San Fran over the course of the next 7 days.

Bring it.

He's supposed to start, according to Jesse.

EDIT: Jesse clarified, said he was 100% and good to go, they haven't officially said he's starting, but would assume so.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 08, 2015, 04:06:20 PM
Boom
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on August 10, 2015, 11:22:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

Still, I look forward to you whingeing on twitter the next time he strikes out on what you deem to be an unacceptable pitch.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:24:48 AM
Quote from: CT III on August 10, 2015, 11:22:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

Still, I look forward to you whingeing on twitter the next time he strikes out on what you deem to be an unacceptable pitch.

He should only strike out on pitches I deem acceptable. These include Aroldis Chapman fastballs and Chris Sale sliders and that's about it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 10, 2015, 11:27:50 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:24:48 AM
He should only strike out on pitches I deem acceptable. These include Aroldis Chapman fastballs and Chris Sale sliders and that's about it.

Pfft. Why isn't he hitting lefties better?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:28:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on August 10, 2015, 11:27:50 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:24:48 AM
He should only strike out on pitches I deem acceptable. These include Aroldis Chapman fastballs and Chris Sale sliders and that's about it.

Pfft. Why isn't he hitting lefties better?

Good point IMO
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on August 10, 2015, 12:22:01 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it'll still come.  He's hitting the ball so goddamn hard the last 2 weeks, it seems a slight uptick in elevation and some of those'll be bustin' up palms in the bleachers.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:22:33 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

There has to be a reason why he's hitting so many low line drives. It's a good problem to have. I don't know if he's not seeing the pitches he can drive well enough or if he's just barely missing those or what. I predict we see a power surge from him soon. It's almost certain to hai.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 10, 2015, 12:23:12 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

He doesn't have any loft in his swing, so he just hits a bunch of really loud singles.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:24:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

And I certainly wouldn't be trying to change his swing to get more lift during the season. Hell if he's going to continue to hit the ball harder than anyone not named Baez and it's going to drop in somewhere, just let him be. They can work on swing adjustments in the offseason if need be. There's no question the strength and talent is there. We all know it. He knows it.

It's terrifying to imagine a lineup with Soler realizing his power potential. I hope he does at some point.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:30:20 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He its almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.

That holds for guys trying to score because the fielders have to make the long throw(s) home. So there is an element of timing involved. That's rarely true at second, an easier throw from  everywhere. The harder you hit a ball, the more likely it will find a gap or elude a mitt. Thus allowing balls on certain trajectories to become singles that would be outs. I'll need to check but it's probable that outfields are playing Jorge extremely deep in order to cut off the power allies. Hitting it slower so they have to come running in while he tries to leg out doubles is not the way he's going to improve his slugging percentage. That will hai when the balls start leaving the joint.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:32:48 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:30:20 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He its almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.

That holds for guys trying to score because they have to make the long throw home so there is an element of timing involved. The harder you hit a ball, the more likely it will find a gap or elude a mitt. Thus allowing balls on certain trajectories to become singles that would be outs. I'll need to check but it's probable that outfields are playing Jorge extremely deep in order to cut off the power allies. Hitting it slower so they have to come running in while he tries to leg out doubles is not the way he's going to improve his slugging percentage. That will hai when the balls start leaving the joint.

I didn't say he should change what he was doing. Over time it'll all even out, I just meant to this point there've been a handful of examples where he's smoked the ball into the outfield without finding a gap. Some people can still leg out doubles in those scenarios because the ball dies in the grass. Jorge has no such opportunity as it keeps carrying till it can be fielded on the run.

It was more of a "bad luck in a small sample size" argument I was making, not a "he should change what he's doing".
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:38:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:32:48 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:30:20 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He its almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.

That holds for guys trying to score because they have to make the long throw home so there is an element of timing involved. The harder you hit a ball, the more likely it will find a gap or elude a mitt. Thus allowing balls on certain trajectories to become singles that would be outs. I'll need to check but it's probable that outfields are playing Jorge extremely deep in order to cut off the power allies. Hitting it slower so they have to come running in while he tries to leg out doubles is not the way he's going to improve his slugging percentage. That will hai when the balls start leaving the joint.

I didn't say he should change what he was doing. Over time it'll all even out, I just meant to this point there've been a handful of examples where he's smoked the ball into the outfield without finding a gap. Some people can still leg out doubles in those scenarios because the ball dies in the grass. Jorge has no such opportunity as it keeps carrying till it can be fielded on the run.

It was more of a "bad luck in a small sample size" argument I was making, not a "he should change what he's doing".

I don't have the math in front of me to carry this point to resolution but the number of doubles that players get  that become possible because they were hit so softly the outfielder had to run a mile to get them won't significantly affect their slugging, not in a week, a month or a season. Now, if Jorge played in Boston and pelted the monster so hard and often that he lost a baker's dozen bases, that'd be a thing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 10, 2015, 01:52:23 PM
Quote from: CT III on August 10, 2015, 11:22:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

Still, I look forward to you whingeing on twitter the next time he strikes out on what you deem to be an unacceptable pitch.

Stop trying to impress Tonker with your fancy Australo-Belgian slang just because he's in town.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on August 10, 2015, 01:54:52 PM
Quote from: Bort on August 10, 2015, 01:52:23 PM
Quote from: CT III on August 10, 2015, 11:22:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

Still, I look forward to you whingeing on twitter the next time he strikes out on what you deem to be an unacceptable pitch.

Stop trying to impress Tonker with your fancy Australo-Belgian slang just because he's in town.

No.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 10, 2015, 02:00:17 PM
Quote from: CT III on August 10, 2015, 01:54:52 PM
Quote from: Bort on August 10, 2015, 01:52:23 PM
Quote from: CT III on August 10, 2015, 11:22:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

Still, I look forward to you whingeing on twitter the next time he strikes out on what you deem to be an unacceptable pitch.

Stop trying to impress Tonker with your fancy Australo-Belgian slang just because he's in town.

No.

Cheerfully withdrawn!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 10, 2015, 02:33:52 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:24:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

And I certainly wouldn't be trying to change his swing to get more lift during the season. Hell if he's going to continue to hit the ball harder than anyone not named Baez and it's going to drop in somewhere, just let him be. They can work on swing adjustments in the offseason if need be. There's no question the strength and talent is there. We all know it. He knows it.

It's terrifying to imagine a lineup with Soler realizing his power potential. I hope he does at some point.

Didn't Ryne Sandberg talk about some coaching advice he got once about hitting balls on an incline with topspin (or backspin, I'm no physicist) and how it changed his career by making him more of a power hitter?  Some Googling turned up nothing but am I hallucinating?  Could've sworn I've read that somewhere.  Maybe in "Second to Home" (http://www.amazon.com/Second-Home-Ryne-Sandberg-Opens/dp/1566250404)?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 10, 2015, 02:35:08 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 10, 2015, 02:33:52 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:24:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

And I certainly wouldn't be trying to change his swing to get more lift during the season. Hell if he's going to continue to hit the ball harder than anyone not named Baez and it's going to drop in somewhere, just let him be. They can work on swing adjustments in the offseason if need be. There's no question the strength and talent is there. We all know it. He knows it.

It's terrifying to imagine a lineup with Soler realizing his power potential. I hope he does at some point.

Didn't Ryne Sandberg talk about some coaching advice he got once about hitting balls on an incline with topspin (or backspin, I'm no physicist) and how it changed his career by making him more of a power hitter?  Some Googling turned up nothing but am I hallucinating?  Could've sworn I've read that somewhere.  Maybe in "Second to Home" (http://www.amazon.com/Second-Home-Ryne-Sandberg-Opens/dp/1566250404)?

The story I've always heard is that sometime after 1983 Jim Frey or whatever said "hey, you ever think about pulling the ball?" and ta-da, MVP. I'm guessing it was probably more complicated than that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 10, 2015, 02:41:43 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 10, 2015, 02:33:52 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:24:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

And I certainly wouldn't be trying to change his swing to get more lift during the season. Hell if he's going to continue to hit the ball harder than anyone not named Baez and it's going to drop in somewhere, just let him be. They can work on swing adjustments in the offseason if need be. There's no question the strength and talent is there. We all know it. He knows it.

It's terrifying to imagine a lineup with Soler realizing his power potential. I hope he does at some point.

Didn't Ryne Sandberg talk about some coaching advice he got once about hitting balls on an incline with topspin (or backspin, I'm no physicist) and how it changed his career by making him more of a power hitter?  Some Googling turned up nothing but am I hallucinating?  Could've sworn I've read that somewhere.  Maybe in "Second to Home" (http://www.amazon.com/Second-Home-Ryne-Sandberg-Opens/dp/1566250404)?

Not about Sandberg, but this is a good read about backspin/topspin:

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/players-view-is-creating-backspin-a-skill/
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on August 10, 2015, 03:06:12 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 02:35:08 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 10, 2015, 02:33:52 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:24:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

And I certainly wouldn't be trying to change his swing to get more lift during the season. Hell if he's going to continue to hit the ball harder than anyone not named Baez and it's going to drop in somewhere, just let him be. They can work on swing adjustments in the offseason if need be. There's no question the strength and talent is there. We all know it. He knows it.

It's terrifying to imagine a lineup with Soler realizing his power potential. I hope he does at some point.

Didn't Ryne Sandberg talk about some coaching advice he got once about hitting balls on an incline with topspin (or backspin, I'm no physicist) and how it changed his career by making him more of a power hitter?  Some Googling turned up nothing but am I hallucinating?  Could've sworn I've read that somewhere.  Maybe in "Second to Home" (http://www.amazon.com/Second-Home-Ryne-Sandberg-Opens/dp/1566250404)?

The story I've always heard is that sometime after 1983 Jim Frey or whatever said "hey, you ever think about pulling the ball?" and ta-da, MVP. I'm guessing it was probably more complicated than that.

Yeah Frey and Zimmer supposedly helped Sandberg swing for more power in Spring Training in 1984.   

Would've been nice if Castro could've taken that same step but he seemed to have gone the other way when the organization supposedly tried tinkering him with in 2013's Spring Training.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on August 10, 2015, 04:41:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 02:35:08 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on August 10, 2015, 02:33:52 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:24:56 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

And I certainly wouldn't be trying to change his swing to get more lift during the season. Hell if he's going to continue to hit the ball harder than anyone not named Baez and it's going to drop in somewhere, just let him be. They can work on swing adjustments in the offseason if need be. There's no question the strength and talent is there. We all know it. He knows it.

It's terrifying to imagine a lineup with Soler realizing his power potential. I hope he does at some point.

Didn't Ryne Sandberg talk about some coaching advice he got once about hitting balls on an incline with topspin (or backspin, I'm no physicist) and how it changed his career by making him more of a power hitter?  Some Googling turned up nothing but am I hallucinating?  Could've sworn I've read that somewhere.  Maybe in "Second to Home" (http://www.amazon.com/Second-Home-Ryne-Sandberg-Opens/dp/1566250404)?

The story I've always heard is that sometime after 1983 Jim Frey or whatever said "hey, you ever think about pulling the ball?" and ta-da, MVP. I'm guessing it was probably more complicated than that.

Brilliant strategy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 10, 2015, 08:33:10 PM
As long as he keeps hitting the ever-loving shit out of the ball, it's all good. The extra base hits will come eventually.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 11, 2015, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.

But with that sort of velocity coming off the bat, wouldn't it also figure that at some point when these balls start finding gaps they get to the wall before anybody has a chance of reaching it?

Elevation or no elevation, I'd think that his making consistent contact with that sort of velocity means that the slugging percentage will eventually correct itself.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:37:42 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on August 11, 2015, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.

But with that sort of velocity coming off the bat, wouldn't it also figure that at some point when these balls start finding gaps they get to the wall before anybody has a chance of reaching it?

Elevation or no elevation, I'd think that his making consistent contact with that sort of velocity means that the slugging percentage will eventually correct itself.

Yeah I think it will, I was just citing the handful of examples I can think of as a reason why his slugging percentage right now is so low. Bad luck/small sample size kinda thing. But anyways it was a dumb theory and has been soundly defeated so I withdraw it.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 11, 2015, 09:10:26 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:37:42 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on August 11, 2015, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.

But with that sort of velocity coming off the bat, wouldn't it also figure that at some point when these balls start finding gaps they get to the wall before anybody has a chance of reaching it?

Elevation or no elevation, I'd think that his making consistent contact with that sort of velocity means that the slugging percentage will eventually correct itself.

Yeah I think it will, I was just citing the handful of examples I can think of as a reason why his slugging percentage right now is so low. Bad luck/small sample size kinda thing. But anyways it was a dumb theory and has been soundly defeated so I withdraw it.



But I think the slugging percentage may actually be high for someone who doesn't hit many home runs and strikes out as often as he does. His BABIP is .387. That's a three with an eighty-seven after it. So those low liners and worm burners are raising his slugging, not hindering it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 11, 2015, 09:17:33 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 11, 2015, 09:10:26 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:37:42 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on August 11, 2015, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM

Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.

But with that sort of velocity coming off the bat, wouldn't it also figure that at some point when these balls start finding gaps they get to the wall before anybody has a chance of reaching it?

Elevation or no elevation, I'd think that his making consistent contact with that sort of velocity means that the slugging percentage will eventually correct itself.

Yeah I think it will, I was just citing the handful of examples I can think of as a reason why his slugging percentage right now is so low. Bad luck/small sample size kinda thing. But anyways it was a dumb theory and has been soundly defeated so I withdraw it.



But I think the slugging percentage may actually be high for someone who doesn't hit many home runs and strikes out as often as he does. His BABIP is .387. That's a three with an eighty-seven after it. So those low liners and worm burners are raising his slugging, not hindering it.

Yeah we're all agreed he'll eventually elevate the ball and hit homers and that'll be that. Also I realize his BABIP seems high but his career BABIP is now at .375 in 429 PAs. I think that's fairly stable. In the minors he managed BABIPS of .457, .338, .349 etc in different stops. Dude just kills baseballs. If he can ever increase his contact rate to what he did in the minors we're looking at a batting title contender. He just hits the ball really fucking hard. It's a good thing. Good things will come from it. I'm John Feinstein.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 11, 2015, 09:22:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 09:17:33 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 11, 2015, 09:10:26 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:37:42 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on August 11, 2015, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM

Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.

But with that sort of velocity coming off the bat, wouldn't it also figure that at some point when these balls start finding gaps they get to the wall before anybody has a chance of reaching it?

Elevation or no elevation, I'd think that his making consistent contact with that sort of velocity means that the slugging percentage will eventually correct itself.

Yeah I think it will, I was just citing the handful of examples I can think of as a reason why his slugging percentage right now is so low. Bad luck/small sample size kinda thing. But anyways it was a dumb theory and has been soundly defeated so I withdraw it.



But I think the slugging percentage may actually be high for someone who doesn't hit many home runs and strikes out as often as he does. His BABIP is .387. That's a three with an eighty-seven after it. So those low liners and worm burners are raising his slugging, not hindering it.

Yeah we're all agreed he'll eventually elevate the ball and hit homers and that'll be that. Also I realize his BABIP seems high but his career BABIP is now at .375 in 429 PAs. I think that's fairly stable. In the minors he managed BABIPS of .457, .338, .349 etc in different stops. Dude just kills baseballs. If he can ever increase his contact rate to what he did in the minors we're looking at a batting title contender. He just hits the ball really fucking hard. It's a good thing. Good things will come from it. I'm John Feinstein.

I just fucking lol'd.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 11, 2015, 09:29:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 09:17:33 AM
Yeah we're all agreed he'll eventually elevate the ball and hit homers and that'll be that. Also I realize his BABIP seems high but his career BABIP is now at .375 in 429 PAs. I think that's fairly stable. In the minors he managed BABIPS of .457, .338, .349 etc in different stops. Dude just kills baseballs. If he can ever increase his contact rate to what he did in the minors we're looking at a batting title contender. He just hits the ball really fucking hard. It's a good thing. Good things will come from it. I'm John Feinstein.

I think BABIP stabilizes closer to 900ish at-bats, so he's got a ways to go. He might be able to settle in around .340-350 in an ideal scenario, but things are inflated at the moment. There's more to it than just hitting the ball really hard (Stanton's career mark is .328). Among the long-term leaders, there's usually some element of speed involved or just being a truly elite hitter, like Cabrera or Goldschmidt.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 11, 2015, 09:36:06 AM
Quote from: Eli on August 11, 2015, 09:29:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 09:17:33 AM
Yeah we're all agreed he'll eventually elevate the ball and hit homers and that'll be that. Also I realize his BABIP seems high but his career BABIP is now at .375 in 429 PAs. I think that's fairly stable. In the minors he managed BABIPS of .457, .338, .349 etc in different stops. Dude just kills baseballs. If he can ever increase his contact rate to what he did in the minors we're looking at a batting title contender. He just hits the ball really fucking hard. It's a good thing. Good things will come from it. I'm John Feinstein.

I think BABIP stabilizes closer to 900ish at-bats, so he's got a ways to go. He might be able to settle in around .340-350 in an ideal scenario, but things are inflated at the moment. There's more to it than just hitting the ball really hard (Stanton's career mark is .328). Among the long-term leaders, there's usually some element of speed involved or just being a truly elite hitter, like Cabrera or Goldschmidt.

Fair enough. I do think he'll make more frequent contact anyway as time goes by. Even if the BABIP sinks down to like .325ish I really don't think he's going to be a guy that K's 30% of the time in the long run. He does seem to have a good sense of the strike zone and it feels like he's starting to turn a corner vs. sliders (the big two run double he hit on Friday came after he fought off several of them and was waiting for one he could handle with two strikes). Hopefully it all evens out.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 11, 2015, 01:13:33 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 11, 2015, 09:22:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 09:17:33 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 11, 2015, 09:10:26 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:37:42 AM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on August 11, 2015, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 11, 2015, 08:21:51 AM
Quote from: Shooter on August 11, 2015, 08:17:11 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:25:58 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on August 10, 2015, 12:23:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 12:22:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 10, 2015, 12:20:24 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 10, 2015, 11:09:00 AM

Through 8 games in August after an abysmal July that seems to have been just as much about bad batted ball luck (.214 BABIP in July vs. .341 on the season) as it was about his many K's (which never really got much worse than his season average even in his good months anyway):

.304/.484/.478/.962.

Pretty great to see Kris Bryant in a lineup where he's hitting like that and might be just the third biggest threat (and that might be unfair to Jorge and his .370/.469/.407 line this month).

I still just do not understand Jorge's piss poor slugging average.

I think it's two factors: he is a lot like young Castro in that he can hit basically anything within reach of the strike zone. The problem is that he tries to do just that, and doesn't always wait for the ones he can smack into the seats.

The other is that he hits balls so fucking hard into the outfield that they roll straight to the outfielders and don't ever let him take an extra base. It feels like he has to hit one down the line or off the wall to get extra bases.

The first one makes sense. The second does not.

How doesn't it make sense? One example I can think of came in the Thursday night game against the Giants if I remember correctly. Rizzo was on second and Jorge smoked a 2 out single that couldn't get Rizzo home because he hit it 114 MPH and it went directly to the left fielder. If he hit the thing 90 MPH it probably dies in the grass and there's not even a chance to throw Rizzo out at the plate. He hits it almost too hard for extra bases sometimes, and he seems to have just bad luck with finding gaps so far.
How does Rizzo not scoring from second on a Soler single cause him to have a low slugging percentage?

It doesn't, I was just thinking of an example where Jorge hit a ball so hard it that even though it was a hit it got to the outfielder faster than your average base hit would have, thus Rizzo had to hold up. That was just the most recent example I could think of, he's had others. Regardless, Apex is right, the slugging % is mostly just him not elevating the ball and getting some dongs to boost it.

But with that sort of velocity coming off the bat, wouldn't it also figure that at some point when these balls start finding gaps they get to the wall before anybody has a chance of reaching it?

Elevation or no elevation, I'd think that his making consistent contact with that sort of velocity means that the slugging percentage will eventually correct itself.

Yeah I think it will, I was just citing the handful of examples I can think of as a reason why his slugging percentage right now is so low. Bad luck/small sample size kinda thing. But anyways it was a dumb theory and has been soundly defeated so I withdraw it.



But I think the slugging percentage may actually be high for someone who doesn't hit many home runs and strikes out as often as he does. His BABIP is .387. That's a three with an eighty-seven after it. So those low liners and worm burners are raising his slugging, not hindering it.

Yeah we're all agreed he'll eventually elevate the ball and hit homers and that'll be that. Also I realize his BABIP seems high but his career BABIP is now at .375 in 429 PAs. I think that's fairly stable. In the minors he managed BABIPS of .457, .338, .349 etc in different stops. Dude just kills baseballs. If he can ever increase his contact rate to what he did in the minors we're looking at a batting title contender. He just hits the ball really fucking hard. It's a good thing. Good things will come from it. I'm John Feinstein.

I just fucking lol'd.

That might be the funniest thing SKO has ever said.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 12, 2015, 08:29:16 PM
There's that oppo dong power we've been looking for.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 19, 2015, 01:01:30 AM
TPD (!).  Not one of his better ABs, against Rondon in the 9th.  Woof.

Still love him though.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 20, 2015, 08:25:17 AM
4-4 with a homer and a double is nice. I liked it. 10/10, would try again.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 23, 2015, 04:21:28 PM
Bump for a two homer day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 24, 2015, 03:45:16 PM
KRIS BRYANT BITCHES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on August 24, 2015, 03:46:00 PM
!!!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on August 24, 2015, 03:46:35 PM
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 24, 2015, 03:47:34 PM
"Hey.  That was fun."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on August 24, 2015, 03:47:41 PM
Well this is a magical season isn't it
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on August 24, 2015, 03:49:44 PM
Quote from: Slaky on August 24, 2015, 03:47:41 PM
Well this is a magical season isn't it

There's magic in my underpants, that's for damn sure.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on August 24, 2015, 03:49:57 PM
Maybe it was just the camera angle, but that looked like a routine flyball off the bat.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 24, 2015, 03:54:14 PM
somebody please make a .gif of Strop going to the plate with Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on August 24, 2015, 03:57:57 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 24, 2015, 03:49:57 PM
Maybe it was just the camera angle, but that looked like a routine flyball off the bat.

Except the wind was howling out toward right field.  I thought the same thing when the ball was first hit but then remembered the flags that were just rippling like mad out there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 24, 2015, 04:24:33 PM
Too bad Dolan isn't alive to pin and/or sticky this thread to the top for the next 24 hours.

KRIS
DAMN
BRYANT
FEMALE
DOGS
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on August 24, 2015, 04:40:01 PM
So the Rookie of the Year is wrapped up I assume.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on August 24, 2015, 04:41:34 PM
Quote from: Median Desipio Chucklehead on August 24, 2015, 03:54:14 PM
somebody please make a .gif of Strop going to the plate with Bryant.

not mine but here you are

https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CNNAl3hUYAEbs_S.mp4
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 28, 2015, 11:59:28 PM
On a 4-K day, which isn't that big of a deal because three were against Kershaw, I'm really excited to see what Bryant becomes.  He's better, arguably a lot better, than Mike Schmidt (http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/schmimi01.shtml) was in his first full season (both were 23), and I wonder if KB might just develop the same kind of discipline Schmidt did as he learned and adjusted.  Still struck out a lot, sure, but Schmidt's BB-SO ratios really improved over the course of his career.  I don't think it's crazy to predict Bryant will do the same.  Let's see how this all plays out.

Also, as a young'un, I'd never realized just how damn good Mike Schmidt was until Bryant came along.

Just for fun, here's their age 23 seasons (I'm ignoring Schmidt's 13-game cup of coffee in 1972 at age 22):

Bryant:  117 G  504 PA  22 2B  5 3B  20 HR  77 RBI 12 SB  3 CS  64 BB  152 SO  .265  .367  .480  .847  132 OPS+
Schmidt: 132 G  443 PA  11 2B  0 3B  18 HR  52 RBI  8 SB  2 CS  62 BB  136 SO  .196  .324  .373  .697  92 OPS+


Advanced and rate stats:

Bryant:  .215 ISO  4.0% HR%  30.2% SO%  12.7% BB%  9.3% XBH%  2.38 SO/W  2.8 AB/SO  21.4 AB/HR  4.8 fWAR
Schmidt: .177 ISO  4.1% HR%  30.7% SO%  14.0% BB%  6.6% XBH%  2.19 SO/W  2.7 AB/SO  20.4 AB/HR  2.1 fWAR


HE'S A BUST!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 30, 2015, 08:06:00 PM
BOOM
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 02, 2015, 07:50:40 AM
Bump for a 3 hit game last night.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 06, 2015, 02:38:56 PM
HOLY SHIT HE DESTROYED THAT.

De La Rosa might need to change his pants.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 06, 2015, 02:40:17 PM
Left the bat at 111 mph.  Bounced off the TOP of the videoboard.  495 feet.  Hot damn.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on September 06, 2015, 03:03:00 PM
http://mediadownloads.mlb.com/mlbam/2015/09/06/mlbtv_arichn_457657283_1200K.mp4
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on September 06, 2015, 06:23:30 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on September 06, 2015, 03:03:00 PM
http://mediadownloads.mlb.com/mlbam/2015/09/06/mlbtv_arichn_457657283_1200K.mp4

"They're going to score that a hit...for Bryant"

Len Kasper's pretty awesome.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 07, 2015, 06:09:04 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on September 06, 2015, 03:03:00 PM
http://mediadownloads.mlb.com/mlbam/2015/09/06/mlbtv_arichn_457657283_1200K.mp4

I still can't believe how fucking fast that ball was still going when it hit the board.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on September 08, 2015, 09:45:04 AM
Like someone in another thread said, I would do whatever he asked.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 17, 2015, 02:32:38 PM
Bump for back to back 3 hit games.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 18, 2015, 08:37:00 AM
DPD:

Bryant since August 1st: .333/.407/.605/1.012 with 10 HR, 12 2B, 1 3B, and 33 RBI.

He also seems to have gotten over the "can't hit on the road thing" of late. On the west coast trip he went .261/.320/.435/.755 despite the rough games against Bumgarner and Kershaw, and then on the 11 game road trip they just ended he hit .341/.370/.545/.915.

Kris Bryant rules.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on September 18, 2015, 09:38:12 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 18, 2015, 08:37:00 AM
DPD:

Bryant since August 1st: .333/.407/.605/1.012 with 10 HR, 12 2B, 1 3B, and 33 RBI.

He also seems to have gotten over the "can't hit on the road thing" of late. On the west coast trip he went .261/.320/.435/.755 despite the rough games against Bumgarner and Kershaw, and then on the 11 game road trip they just ended he hit .341/.370/.545/.915.

Kris Bryant rules.

Just remember, Grichuk over Bryant any day of the week...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on September 18, 2015, 10:55:23 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 18, 2015, 09:38:12 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 18, 2015, 08:37:00 AM
DPD:

Bryant since August 1st: .333/.407/.605/1.012 with 10 HR, 12 2B, 1 3B, and 33 RBI.

He also seems to have gotten over the "can't hit on the road thing" of late. On the west coast trip he went .261/.320/.435/.755 despite the rough games against Bumgarner and Kershaw, and then on the 11 game road trip they just ended he hit .341/.370/.545/.915.

Kris Bryant rules.

Just remember, Grichuk over Bryant any day of the week...

Ahem, that's Grichuk AND Piscotty over Bryant. They're both better than him. The uniformed media is wrong.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 18, 2015, 10:57:29 AM
Quote from: Slaky on September 18, 2015, 10:55:23 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 18, 2015, 09:38:12 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 18, 2015, 08:37:00 AM
DPD:

Bryant since August 1st: .333/.407/.605/1.012 with 10 HR, 12 2B, 1 3B, and 33 RBI.

He also seems to have gotten over the "can't hit on the road thing" of late. On the west coast trip he went .261/.320/.435/.755 despite the rough games against Bumgarner and Kershaw, and then on the 11 game road trip they just ended he hit .341/.370/.545/.915.

Kris Bryant rules.

Just remember, Grichuk over Bryant any day of the week...

Ahem, that's Grichuk AND Piscotty over Bryant. They're both better than him. The uniformed media is wrong.

You didn't even mention Tommy Pham, that's how brainwashed the uniformed media has you.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 18, 2015, 02:14:03 PM
Just to piss myself off I looked up Grichuk and Piscotty's BABIP this year. .378 and .397. Fucking devil magic.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on September 18, 2015, 02:24:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 18, 2015, 02:14:03 PM
Just to piss myself off I looked up Grichuk and Piscotty's BABIP this year. .378 and .397. Fucking devil magic.

So, the advanced stat averse will be stunned when Grichuk goes back to a .678 OPS? I'll enjoy that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on September 18, 2015, 02:27:53 PM
Quote from: Yeti on September 18, 2015, 02:24:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 18, 2015, 02:14:03 PM
Just to piss myself off I looked up Grichuk and Piscotty's BABIP this year. .378 and .397. Fucking devil magic.

So, the advanced stat averse will be stunned when Grichuk goes back to a .678 OPS? I'll enjoy that.

DPD...
.....

.....
Kris has a .375
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 18, 2015, 02:31:17 PM
Quote from: Yeti on September 18, 2015, 02:27:53 PM
Quote from: Yeti on September 18, 2015, 02:24:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 18, 2015, 02:14:03 PM
Just to piss myself off I looked up Grichuk and Piscotty's BABIP this year. .378 and .397. Fucking devil magic.

So, the advanced stat averse will be stunned when Grichuk goes back to a .678 OPS? I'll enjoy that.

DPD...
.....

.....
Kris has a .375

Yeah, and I'd expect it to go down a bit, but at least Bryant's BABIP in the minors was usually better than .400. He's always compensated for his low contact rates by being incredibly productive with the contact he does make.

Piscotty and Grichuk are both outperforming their minor league stats and their minor league BABIP.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 19, 2015, 01:40:47 PM
BRYANT BOMB
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 22, 2015, 10:41:10 PM
When you nudge Billy Williams aside in the history book you're doing something right.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on September 23, 2015, 01:33:37 AM
At this point, it's hard to swee who else is going to win the NL ROY.  Duffy's probably the next best choice, but it's not particularly close, numbers-wise - and the Giants aren't going to the post-season.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 23, 2015, 07:21:45 AM
Quote from: Tonker on September 23, 2015, 01:33:37 AM
At this point, it's hard to swee who else is going to win the NL ROY.  Duffy's probably the next best choice, but it's not particularly close, numbers-wise - and the Giants aren't going to the post-season.

The award has been Bryant's all season long. The only time it was ever in doubt was around the time of the all star break, when Bryant was slumping and Joc Pederson had been arguably more valuable to that point, but since then Bryant's been insane and Joc not so much.

Duffy will get a token vote or two but whether you use conventional stats (in which case Bryant leads in HR, RBI, OBP, and basically everything but average) or advanced stats (leads in bWAR and fWAR) the argument is clearly Bryant, no contest.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 23, 2015, 08:06:25 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 07:21:45 AM
Quote from: Tonker on September 23, 2015, 01:33:37 AM
At this point, it's hard to swee who else is going to win the NL ROY.  Duffy's probably the next best choice, but it's not particularly close, numbers-wise - and the Giants aren't going to the post-season.

The award has been Bryant's all season long. The only time it was ever in doubt was around the time of the all star break, when Bryant was slumping and Joc Pederson had been arguably more valuable to that point, but since then Bryant's been insane and Joc not so much.

Duffy will get a token vote or two but whether you use conventional stats (in which case Bryant leads in HR, RBI, OBP, and basically everything but average) or advanced stats (leads in bWAR and fWAR) the argument is clearly Bryant, no contest.

Anything less than Bryant getting every single first place vote is a travesty.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 23, 2015, 08:20:21 AM
He hit the 6.0 WAR barrier last night (per fWAR, 5.5 bWAR). I remember thinking how awesome it would be when Keith Law threw out an Evan Longoria if Bryant had Longoria's rookie year and he's already surpassed it. Insane. As RV noted on twitter he's got the 5th best season by fWAR of any rookie position player in 30 years.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:02:29 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

Whenever the Cubs play the Cardinals I have to watch the FSN Midwest feed (because I rarely get the Cubs out here in the city that is like 70% Cubs fans and hosts the Cubs AAA affiliate) if I don't want to watch it on my phone or laptop and there's always a commercial for Imo's Pizza that offers free Provel bites with any large pizza.

Just fried, doughy balls of fake cheese. St. Louis, everybody.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on September 23, 2015, 01:35:29 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

I, er, also laughed at this particular thing.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on September 24, 2015, 11:42:21 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.

Congrats on signing with Washington.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 11:46:41 AM
Quote from: Oleg on September 24, 2015, 11:42:21 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.

Congrats on signing with Washington.

I look forward to rooting for the Nationals too. Ask me anything.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on September 24, 2015, 12:23:03 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 11:46:41 AM
Quote from: Oleg on September 24, 2015, 11:42:21 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.

Congrats on signing with Washington.

I look forward to rooting for the Nationals too. Ask me anything.

How does it feel to know that you'll never, ever find out what it feels like to win a World Series?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 12:32:55 PM
Quote from: Tonker on September 24, 2015, 12:23:03 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 11:46:41 AM
Quote from: Oleg on September 24, 2015, 11:42:21 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.

Congrats on signing with Washington.

I look forward to rooting for the Nationals too. Ask me anything.

How does it feel to know that you'll never, ever find out what it feels like to win a World Series?

I'm still coming to grips with it. I mean, with all the talent on this roster, you'd think they'll contend for one at some point in the next few years. But we're not promised tomorrow. It's all an illusion.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 24, 2015, 12:56:22 PM
Quote from: Tonker on September 24, 2015, 12:23:03 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 11:46:41 AM
Quote from: Oleg on September 24, 2015, 11:42:21 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.

Congrats on signing with Washington.

I look forward to rooting for the Nationals too. Ask me anything.

How does it feel to know that you'll never, ever find out what it feels like to win a World Series?

Clown question, bro.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on September 24, 2015, 12:57:03 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 12:32:55 PM
Quote from: Tonker on September 24, 2015, 12:23:03 PM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 11:46:41 AM
Quote from: Oleg on September 24, 2015, 11:42:21 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on September 24, 2015, 10:56:33 AM
Quote from: Eli on September 24, 2015, 10:50:24 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 23, 2015, 12:03:20 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on September 23, 2015, 11:55:19 AM
Quote from: Bort on September 23, 2015, 09:28:33 AM
Quote from: Baseball's Best FansWhatever. Grichuk should win it, but the stupid news media only loves Bryant more because he's a Cub.

Bro, let's discuss over some Provel-smothered breadtangle of "pizza" why Grichuk and Piscotty should be co-ROYs, along with Yadi, because every year is like seeing him for the first time.

DPD, but I laughed at this.

Sterling's been OK since he had that meltdown and told us we were really mean Internet guys when it was really just tough love. Therefore, I think we can take the credit for his improvement.

I'm a fucking wizard.

Congrats on signing with Washington.

I look forward to rooting for the Nationals too. Ask me anything.

How does it feel to know that you'll never, ever find out what it feels like to win a World Series?

I'm still coming to grips with it. I mean, with all the talent on this roster, you'd think they'll contend for one at some point in the next few years. But we're not promised tomorrow. It's all an illusion.

Your guys had their chance, man.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on October 03, 2015, 03:41:01 PM
Jayson Stark, in his year-end awards column:

QuoteNL Rookie of the Year: Kris Bryant

Remember back in spring training when it looked as if Kris Bryant might hit 50 homers -- before Opening Day? If that's all you thought he was, a big, strong dude with monster power, you might actually think his rookie season was disappointing just because he "only" hit 26 home runs. Well, it's a good thing this column showed up to set you straight.

You know how many rookies in the expansion era (i.e., the past 55 seasons) have had a season like this -- 26 trots, 99 RBIs, a .369 on-base percentage, .495 slugging percentage and 86 runs scored? Here's the complete list: Albert Pujols in 2001, Mark McGwire in 1987 and Fred Lynn in 1975. And that's all. Guess which prestigious award they got out of it? No, not the Golden Globe for best male actor in a TV variety series. It was a rookie of the year award, of course. And you'll be adding Bryant's name to this list shortly. One thing that distinguishes Bryant from the rest of that group: None of those other guys played five positions the year they won it. But Bryant has. And here's another thing that distinguishes him from all but the most special players in this game: The more the Cubs need him, the better he gets. He has hit .321, with a .982 OPS, against the other NL playoff teams. He's .316, with a 1.009 OPS, with runners on base. He's .356, with a 1.056 OPS, with two outs and runners in scoring position. And he has gotten better as the season has gone along (.333/.403/.589 since the end of July). He already has "superduperstar" written all over him. And his best is yet to come.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on October 05, 2015, 12:23:58 PM
The best-selling jersey in the major leagues this season: Kris Bryant's #17. Still waiting for them to release shirsey sales figures.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CubFaninHydePark on October 12, 2015, 07:06:53 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on October 05, 2015, 12:23:58 PM
The best-selling jersey in the major leagues this season: Kris Bryant's #17. Still waiting for them to release shirsey sales figures.

Those sales are getting a bump from me after tonight's game.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on October 12, 2015, 07:07:31 PM
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on October 12, 2015, 07:06:53 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on October 05, 2015, 12:23:58 PM
The best-selling jersey in the major leagues this season: Kris Bryant's #17. Still waiting for them to release shirsey sales figures.

Those sales are getting a bump from me after tonight's game.

I've got my eye on an Arrieta.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:18:49 AM
I'd like to get this out of my system.

FUCK YOU KRIS.

Thanks.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on October 21, 2015, 08:24:57 AM
Quote from: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:18:49 AM
I'd like to get this out of my system.

FUCK YOU KRIS.

Thanks.

@BestFansChicago
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on October 21, 2015, 08:31:54 AM
Quote from: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:18:49 AM
I'd like to get this out of my system.

FUCK YOU KRIS.

Thanks.

Add some names.

(http://i.imgur.com/Vbclmec.png?1)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on October 21, 2015, 08:35:59 AM
Pretty hard not to be the most disappointed in Rizzo offensively. He was crappy the last two weeks of the season and carried it right on into the playoffs. If Mike Matheny hadn't made the most hilariously awful decision of the year in letting Siegrist face Rizzo twice he'd have had an utterly forgettable postseason. It really hurt this series because he was their best hitter vs. fastballs all year long and he just didn't show up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on October 21, 2015, 08:43:21 AM
Quote from: SKO on October 21, 2015, 08:35:59 AM
Pretty hard not to be the most disappointed in Rizzo offensively. He was crappy the last two weeks of the season and carried it right on into the playoffs. If Mike Matheny hadn't made the most hilariously awful decision of the year in letting Siegrist face Rizzo twice he'd have had an utterly forgettable postseason. It really hurt this series because he was their best hitter vs. fastballs all year long and he just didn't show up.

He needs to lean into about 4 pitches tonight, because that's the only way he's getting on base the way he's swinging the bat.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on October 21, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I was really hoping/expect Bryant to go off last night.  :(
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:46:57 AM
Quote from: PANK! on October 21, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I was really hoping/expect Bryant to go off last night.  :(

The hanging slider from Clippard that he absolutely whiffed on almost made me throw up.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tony on October 21, 2015, 08:48:40 AM
Quote from: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:46:57 AM
Quote from: PANK! on October 21, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I was really hoping/expect Bryant to go off last night.  :(

The hanging slider from Clippard that he absolutely whiffed on almost made me throw up.

The one that he was so late on that he's still swinging right now?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:50:57 AM
Quote from: Tony on October 21, 2015, 08:48:40 AM
Quote from: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:46:57 AM
Quote from: PANK! on October 21, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I was really hoping/expect Bryant to go off last night.  :(

The hanging slider from Clippard that he absolutely whiffed on almost made me throw up.

The one that he was so late on that he's still swinging right now?

Yeah. Clippard and his 91 mph heater. I get that he has good offspeed stuff but he looks so hittable. It's driving me insane.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on October 21, 2015, 08:52:20 AM
Quote from: Tony on October 21, 2015, 08:48:40 AM
Quote from: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:46:57 AM
Quote from: PANK! on October 21, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I was really hoping/expect Bryant to go off last night.  :(

The hanging slider from Clippard that he absolutely whiffed on almost made me throw up.

The one that he was so late on that he's still swinging right now?

I'm also haunted by Kris chasing the low outside fastball from DeGrom On 1-2 earlier in the game.  It felt like I hadn't seen him do that in months and it made me feel really bad.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on October 21, 2015, 08:54:33 AM
Quote from: SKO on October 21, 2015, 08:35:59 AM
Pretty hard not to be the most disappointed in Rizzo offensively. He was crappy the last two weeks of the season and carried it right on into the playoffs. If Mike Matheny hadn't made the most hilariously awful decision of the year in letting Siegrist face Rizzo twice he'd have had an utterly forgettable postseason. It really hurt this series because he was their best hitter vs. fastballs all year long and he just didn't show up.

I'm awaiting the inevitable list of Rizzo injuries as soon as the Cubs' season ends.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 09:09:28 AM
Quote from: PANK! on October 21, 2015, 08:52:20 AM
Quote from: Tony on October 21, 2015, 08:48:40 AM
Quote from: Slaky on October 21, 2015, 08:46:57 AM
Quote from: PANK! on October 21, 2015, 08:45:28 AM
I was really hoping/expect Bryant to go off last night.  :(

The hanging slider from Clippard that he absolutely whiffed on almost made me throw up.

The one that he was so late on that he's still swinging right now?

I'm also haunted by Kris chasing the low outside fastball from DeGrom On 1-2 earlier in the game.  It felt like I hadn't seen him do that in months and it made me feel really bad.

Why now? Why is this happening RIGHT NOW?

God fucking damn it
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on November 16, 2015, 05:37:17 PM
Rookie of the Damn Year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: flannj on November 16, 2015, 08:41:45 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on November 16, 2015, 05:37:17 PM
Rookie of the Damn Year.

Damn Year of the Rookie.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on November 16, 2015, 08:47:23 PM
Quote from: flannj on November 16, 2015, 08:41:45 PM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on November 16, 2015, 05:37:17 PM
Rookie of the Damn Year.

Damn Year of the Rookie.

Unanimously.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on November 17, 2015, 08:14:43 AM
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-sullivan-on-baseball-spt-1117-20151116-column.html (http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-sullivan-on-baseball-spt-1117-20151116-column.html)

Quote from: Sparkle
There is a way to top this next year, and that's to win a World Series.

Sploosh.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 01:47:09 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.

Whatevs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on December 08, 2015, 11:35:07 AM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 01:47:09 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.

Whatevs.
I bet that was the first time that a major league team ever did that.  Is there really a contract clause that says that a team can't weigh business rationales against won/loss records?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 12:29:39 PM
Quote from: CBStew on December 08, 2015, 11:35:07 AM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 01:47:09 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.

Whatevs.
I bet that was the first time that a major league team ever did that.  Is there really a contract clause that says that a team can't weigh business rationales against won/loss records?

I guarantee that nowhere is it written that the Cubs did it for business reasons: they've never said that was why they did it, and they never will.  Boras and the players' union can complain all they like but the simple fact of the matter is that they negotiated  and signed this agreement and they can't really complain if the owners stick to the letter, rather than the spirit of it.  It's tough shit for them, but they should have nailed it down in the first place.

Indeed, I suspect that they're not looking to actually prosecute these grievances, but are rather just preparing the ground for getting rid of this loophole in the next CBA.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on December 08, 2015, 12:32:29 PM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 12:29:39 PM
Quote from: CBStew on December 08, 2015, 11:35:07 AM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 01:47:09 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.

Whatevs.
I bet that was the first time that a major league team ever did that.  Is there really a contract clause that says that a team can't weigh business rationales against won/loss records?

I guarantee that nowhere is it written that the Cubs did it for business reasons: they've never said that was why they did it, and they never will.  Boras and the players' union can complain all they like but the simple fact of the matter is that they negotiated  and signed this agreement and they can't really complain if the owners stick to the letter, rather than the spirit of it.  It's tough shit for them, but they should have nailed it down in the first place.

Indeed, I suspect that they're not looking to actually prosecute these grievances, but are rather just preparing the ground for getting rid of this loophole in the next CBA.

See that is where there is a problem. How do you fix this loophole? If you say a guy's service time begins any time he is up for X% of a season, teams will just manipulate that. If you say it starts any time a guy ever appears on a major league roster that'll basically end any prospect of note ever getting called up as an injury replacement or for developmental reasons or a September call up.

There's going to be a way to manipulate it based on however they do it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on December 08, 2015, 01:34:54 PM
Quote from: SKO on December 08, 2015, 12:32:29 PM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 12:29:39 PM
Quote from: CBStew on December 08, 2015, 11:35:07 AM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 01:47:09 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.

Whatevs.
I bet that was the first time that a major league team ever did that.  Is there really a contract clause that says that a team can't weigh business rationales against won/loss records?

I guarantee that nowhere is it written that the Cubs did it for business reasons: they've never said that was why they did it, and they never will.  Boras and the players' union can complain all they like but the simple fact of the matter is that they negotiated  and signed this agreement and they can't really complain if the owners stick to the letter, rather than the spirit of it.  It's tough shit for them, but they should have nailed it down in the first place.

Indeed, I suspect that they're not looking to actually prosecute these grievances, but are rather just preparing the ground for getting rid of this loophole in the next CBA.

See that is where there is a problem. How do you fix this loophole? If you say a guy's service time begins any time he is up for X% of a season, teams will just manipulate that. If you say it starts any time a guy ever appears on a major league roster that'll basically end any prospect of note ever getting called up as an injury replacement or for developmental reasons or a September call up.

There's going to be a way to manipulate it based on however they do it.

Probably in a "Super 2ish" way.  A year is defined as "Before June 1 and in the top 20% in service time of players called up between opening day and June 1."

And before you all say it, yeah, I've always got to make everything 2ish.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 02:02:28 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on December 08, 2015, 01:34:54 PM
Quote from: SKO on December 08, 2015, 12:32:29 PM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 12:29:39 PM
Quote from: CBStew on December 08, 2015, 11:35:07 AM
Quote from: Tonker on December 08, 2015, 01:47:09 AM
Quote from: Sterling Archer on December 07, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Kris/Boras/the union has filed a grievance against the Cubs over the timing of his promotion.

Whatevs.
I bet that was the first time that a major league team ever did that.  Is there really a contract clause that says that a team can't weigh business rationales against won/loss records?

I guarantee that nowhere is it written that the Cubs did it for business reasons: they've never said that was why they did it, and they never will.  Boras and the players' union can complain all they like but the simple fact of the matter is that they negotiated  and signed this agreement and they can't really complain if the owners stick to the letter, rather than the spirit of it.  It's tough shit for them, but they should have nailed it down in the first place.

Indeed, I suspect that they're not looking to actually prosecute these grievances, but are rather just preparing the ground for getting rid of this loophole in the next CBA.

See that is where there is a problem. How do you fix this loophole? If you say a guy's service time begins any time he is up for X% of a season, teams will just manipulate that. If you say it starts any time a guy ever appears on a major league roster that'll basically end any prospect of note ever getting called up as an injury replacement or for developmental reasons or a September call up.

There's going to be a way to manipulate it based on however they do it.

Probably in a "Super 2ish" way.  A year is defined as "Before June 1 and in the top 20% in service time of players called up between opening day and June 1."

And before you all say it, yeah, I've always got to make everything 2ish.

Funny, you don't look 2ish.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 14, 2016, 09:41:01 AM
Bump for that rocket shot, 113 MPH off the bat.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 14, 2016, 07:39:15 PM
Look out, pitchers. That's two Kris bombs in two days.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on April 15, 2016, 08:51:54 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on April 14, 2016, 07:39:15 PM
Look out, pitchers. That's two Kris bombs in two days.

CHRIST BRYAN x deuce
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CubFaninHydePark on April 21, 2016, 09:43:13 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on April 14, 2016, 07:39:15 PM
Look out, pitchers. That's two Kris bombs in two days.

And now we get two in one day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on April 21, 2016, 10:51:27 PM
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on April 21, 2016, 09:43:13 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on April 14, 2016, 07:39:15 PM
Look out, pitchers. That's two Kris bombs in two days.

And now we get two in one day.

Four next time?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on April 22, 2016, 09:14:01 AM
Just so much sploosh.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2016, 03:53:12 PM
So much for "can't hit on the road".
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on April 22, 2016, 07:14:27 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2016, 03:53:12 PM
So much for "can't hit on the road".

Was that a thing? They averaged six runs per game on the opening road trip.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on April 22, 2016, 07:16:05 PM
Quote from: Shooter on April 22, 2016, 07:14:27 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2016, 03:53:12 PM
So much for "can't hit on the road".

Was that a thing? They averaged six runs per game on the opening road trip.

Specifically Bryant - he wasn't very effective on the road last year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on April 22, 2016, 08:55:29 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on April 22, 2016, 07:16:05 PM
Quote from: Shooter on April 22, 2016, 07:14:27 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2016, 03:53:12 PM
So much for "can't hit on the road".

Was that a thing? They averaged six runs per game on the opening road trip.

Specifically Bryant - he wasn't very effective on the road last year.

I'm going to claim that I was confused by a thread that actually stayed on topic.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on April 22, 2016, 10:25:47 PM
Quote from: Shooter on April 22, 2016, 08:55:29 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on April 22, 2016, 07:16:05 PM
Quote from: Shooter on April 22, 2016, 07:14:27 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on April 22, 2016, 03:53:12 PM
So much for "can't hit on the road".

Was that a thing? They averaged six runs per game on the opening road trip.

Specifically Bryant - he wasn't very effective on the road last year.

I'm going to claim that I was confused by a thread that actually stayed on topic.
...and where is the fun in that?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 27, 2016, 01:06:46 PM
So Fangraphs tells me that contact % tends to stabilize after 100 PA and swing % tends to stabilize after 50 PAs...so at 91 PA we're pretty close to being able to get legitimately excited about Bryant making contact 75% of the time this year vs 66% last year (81.6% on pitches inside the zone vs 75% last year), and also about him chasing just 24.5% of pitches outside the zone vs. 30.6% last year. Considering the contact thing was basically his only weakness....this is very bonerworthy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 08:32:48 AM
Bryant's defensive WAR has almost reached last season's level already - 7.1 in 2015, 5.7 this year.

He's changing from adequate to really fucking good.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 11, 2016, 09:46:31 AM
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/kris-bryant-has-a-new-swing/
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on May 11, 2016, 09:49:56 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2016, 09:46:31 AM
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/kris-bryant-has-a-new-swing/

I was just about to post this.  I need to go home to put on some sweatpants.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 11, 2016, 10:00:44 AM
Quote from: Oleg on May 11, 2016, 09:49:56 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2016, 09:46:31 AM
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/kris-bryant-has-a-new-swing/

I was just about to post this.  I need to go home to put on some sweatpants.

Yeah, I remember reading a couple articles in spring training about him wanting to change his swing and Jessica Mendoza had a nice breakdown during one of their spring games about the changes he was trying to make and stuff and thought it would be really cool if he could successfully implement them. Says a lot about Bryant and the Cubs that they weren't content to just assume he could continue last year's success, but instead were proactive about the changes he could make to get even better.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on May 11, 2016, 10:16:53 AM
Quote from: Oleg on May 11, 2016, 09:49:56 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 11, 2016, 09:46:31 AM
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/kris-bryant-has-a-new-swing/

I was just about to post this.  I need to go home to put on some sweatpants windpants.

Boner'd.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on May 11, 2016, 11:55:26 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.

Ahhhh... FORKSCOUT at his very best.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 12, 2016, 12:21:31 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2016, 11:55:26 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.

Ahhhh... FORKSCOUT at his very best.

When I watch KB play, the launch angle of my SCOUTBONER is off the charts.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on May 12, 2016, 09:17:34 AM
Quote from: Tonker on May 11, 2016, 11:55:26 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.

Ahhhh... FORKSCOUT at his very best.

Everything else gets measured now, figured this did as well.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 12, 2016, 11:14:31 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.

I wish he'd put his bat head speed through my zone, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on May 12, 2016, 11:58:57 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 12, 2016, 11:14:31 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.

I wish he'd put his bat head speed through my zone, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

You want him to kill you with a baseball bat?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 12, 2016, 12:02:36 PM
Quote from: Eli on May 12, 2016, 11:58:57 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on May 12, 2016, 11:14:31 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on May 11, 2016, 11:36:34 AM

Does anybody measure bat head speed through the hitting zone? Because it sure as hell seems like Bryant's is supernatural.

I wish he'd put his bat head speed through my zone, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

You want him to kill you with a baseball bat?

Let's not kink shame, Eli.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on May 13, 2016, 02:44:39 PM
BUMP
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on May 13, 2016, 02:46:43 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2016, 02:44:39 PM
BUMP

Liriano sucks.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 20, 2016, 10:12:55 PM
Bump for some long-awaited, decade-in-the-making Jake Peavy ownage.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Grandmaster Wang on May 25, 2016, 03:05:33 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71E8VSP8ltL._SX466_.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on May 26, 2016, 11:01:00 AM
Quote from: Grandmaster Wang on May 25, 2016, 03:05:33 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71E8VSP8ltL._SX466_.jpg)

That band rules.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on May 26, 2016, 11:41:09 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 26, 2016, 11:01:00 AM
Quote from: Grandmaster Wang on May 25, 2016, 03:05:33 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71E8VSP8ltL._SX466_.jpg)

That band rules.

Every band Mike Watt plays in rules.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on May 27, 2016, 09:06:33 AM
Quote from: Bort on May 26, 2016, 11:41:09 PM
Quote from: Oleg on May 26, 2016, 11:01:00 AM
Quote from: Grandmaster Wang on May 25, 2016, 03:05:33 PM
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71E8VSP8ltL._SX466_.jpg)

That band rules.

Every band Mike Watt plays in rules.

Truer words have never been spoken on this shit-for-brains, fringe message board.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 02, 2016, 10:14:53 AM
No bump for a game winning 2 run homer, huh? Tough crowd.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 02, 2016, 10:42:46 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 02, 2016, 10:14:53 AM
No bump for a game winning 2 run homer, huh? Tough crowd.

After 201 big league games, he's already up to 229th all time in JAWS for 3rd basemen. By the time he's done, he's going to be on the same block as Schmidt. 3rd inning HRs are expected at this point.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 02, 2016, 11:02:35 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 02, 2016, 10:14:53 AM
No bump for a game winning 2 run homer, huh? Tough crowd.

We usually just let you bump threads.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on June 02, 2016, 11:27:56 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 02, 2016, 10:14:53 AM
No bump for a game winning 2 run homer, huh? Tough crowd.

He was made to look foolish on 3 pitches than launched the 4th straight curveball he saw into the seats.  This guy...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 02, 2016, 11:37:09 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 02, 2016, 11:27:56 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 02, 2016, 10:14:53 AM
No bump for a game winning 2 run homer, huh? Tough crowd.

He was made to look foolish on 3 pitches than launched the 4th straight curveball he saw into the seats.  This guy...

What's funny about Kris Bryant homers is he hits the ball so high it's not always easy to tell if some of them will even leave the yard. I had the sound off on the TV and so I thought "damn he just got under it". When you watch it with the sound on you know from the sound of the bat that he got all of it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 02, 2016, 12:57:03 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 02, 2016, 11:37:09 AM
Quote from: PANK! on June 02, 2016, 11:27:56 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 02, 2016, 10:14:53 AM
No bump for a game winning 2 run homer, huh? Tough crowd.

He was made to look foolish on 3 pitches than launched the 4th straight curveball he saw into the seats.  This guy...

What's funny about Kris Bryant homers is he hits the ball so high it's not always easy to tell if some of them will even leave the yard. I had the sound off on the TV and so I thought "damn he just got under it". When you watch it with the sound on you know from the sound of the bat that he got all of it.

Too high!
(http://i68.tinypic.com/3322r88.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 08, 2016, 02:05:58 PM
That was a goddamn moonshot.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Grandmaster Wang on June 08, 2016, 02:17:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 08, 2016, 02:05:58 PM
That was a goddamn money shot.

Firehose of splooged.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 08, 2016, 02:26:24 PM
Quote from: Grandmaster Wang on June 08, 2016, 02:17:14 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 08, 2016, 02:05:58 PM
That was a goddamn money shot.

Firehose of splooged.

Between the bat and the façade, that ball has two flat sides.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 20, 2016, 10:41:33 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 20, 2016, 10:40:49 AM
Bumping for back to back from Bryzzo, in that they homered back to back last night, but also both homered in back to back games.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 20, 2016, 11:01:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 20, 2016, 10:41:33 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 20, 2016, 10:40:49 AM
Bumping for back to back from Bryzzo, in that they homered back to back last night, but also both homered in back to back games.

And posted in two threads.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 20, 2016, 11:04:07 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on June 20, 2016, 11:01:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 20, 2016, 10:41:33 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 20, 2016, 10:40:49 AM
Bumping for back to back from Bryzzo, in that they homered back to back last night, but also both homered in back to back games.

And posted in two threads.

That was kind of on purpose.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on June 27, 2016, 07:21:19 PM
Bump.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 27, 2016, 07:24:57 PM
I <3 Sparkles
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on June 27, 2016, 08:51:44 PM
Re-bump.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on June 27, 2016, 08:53:14 PM
Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 27, 2016, 09:33:06 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on June 27, 2016, 08:53:14 PM
Jesus Christ.

Common mistake, but that's Kris Bryant
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: WTB...A RING FFS!! on June 27, 2016, 09:39:30 PM
And to think we were worried at the beginning of the season that his new level swing would cut DOWN his homers. Doesn't hurt that he now hits them wherever he goes rather just basically Wrigley.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on June 27, 2016, 09:40:31 PM
Ripken, Pedroia and Ryan Howard are the only players to win MVP the year after winning Rookie of the Year. Seems like it might be relevant for this thread.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 28, 2016, 05:04:36 AM
Cincinnati sees him in their nightmares.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 28, 2016, 07:27:39 AM
Now leads the NL in fWAR at 3.9, tied for 5th overall in the majors with Xander Boegarts (and 2-4 are all at 4.0, so it's close. The only guy with any separation is, of course, Trout at 4.6).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on June 28, 2016, 08:56:24 AM
For a guy performing like he is on a team with the best record in baseball in a huge market, he gets surprisingly little national media attention (protestations of BFIB regarding Randal Grichuk aside).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 28, 2016, 09:07:02 AM
Quote from: Shooter on June 28, 2016, 08:56:24 AM
For a guy performing like he is on a team with the best record in baseball in a huge market, he gets surprisingly little national media attention (protestations of BFIB regarding Randal Grichuk aside).

Probably because he is a baseball robot manufactured since childhood by his ex-minor leaguer father to provide nothing but clichés and completely non-controversial opinions at all times. If it weren't for Rizzo's prompting I don't know that he'd have any personality to speak of.

For the record I think he genuinely is the "aww shucks" humble guy that Derek Jeter always pretended to be, but I get why the media finds him to be mostly boring. Mike Trout is kind of the same way.  He gets more attention just for being the best player in the game, but that attention pales in comparison to what Harper gets anyway.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:05:09 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

He's cut down on the strikeouts and is making way more contact, which means it's not real easy for him to slump for very long. Any slumps he does have would probably be more bad luck at this point than anything, since he's always going to draw walk and hit the ball hard.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on June 28, 2016, 11:13:06 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:05:09 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

He's cut down on the strikeouts and is making way more contact, which means it's not real easy for him to slump for very long. Any slumps he does have would probably be more bad luck at this point than anything, since he's always going to draw walk and hit the ball hard.

In other words, he's a fucking robot.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on June 28, 2016, 11:14:47 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Grichuk is better.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on June 28, 2016, 11:54:32 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.

That's interesting - I just assumed Rizzo would have a couple of ugly ass months in there, bracketed by superhuman ones, but damn he is good. You forgot to mention that they also have Barry Bonds (http://www.baseball-reference.com/friv/scomp_bat.cgi?I=heywaja01:Jason%20Heyward&st=age&compage=25&age=25) hitting in front of Gehrig and Ruth.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:57:39 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 11:54:32 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.

That's interesting - I just assumed Rizzo would have a couple of ugly ass months in there, bracketed by superhuman ones, but damn he is good. You forgot to mention that they also have Barry Bonds (http://www.baseball-reference.com/friv/scomp_bat.cgi?I=heywaja01:Jason%20Heyward&st=age&compage=25&age=25) hitting in front of Gehrig and Ruth.

If you're suggesting the solution to Heyward's struggles is a delivery from BALCO I am fine with this.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CT III on June 28, 2016, 01:49:16 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.

Us? Hey, don't put your hang ups on the rest of us, man. I could never be mad at Tony Ballgame.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on June 28, 2016, 02:59:52 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.

On the one hand, good god.
On the other hand, looking at calendar months is kind of arbitrary.  What if he was awful from the 15th to the 15th and amazing the other two weeks of each month?

Also, this is as far as I'm willing to take this discussion.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 28, 2016, 03:24:15 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.

It's not unreasonable for Rizzo to jack three out tonight. These guys are that fucking good, and the Reds are that fucking bad.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on June 28, 2016, 07:20:25 PM
Quote from: Oleg on June 28, 2016, 02:59:52 PM
Quote from: SKO on June 28, 2016, 11:44:05 AM
Quote from: R-V on June 28, 2016, 10:04:04 AM
OPS by month since his callup:

.864
.879
.805
.639
1.042
.901
.878
.860
1.081

The dude is indeed a robot. He's had one not-good month out of nine. Even a great hitter like Rizzo will go through noticeable slumps where he can't do much right at the plate. Bryant seems immune to that.

Although to be fair to our guy Tony here is his month-by-month OPS over the same period:

.948
1.049
.891
.785
.885
.833
.961
.792
1.278

He's as much of a robot as Bryant and his on base skills never slump (his lowest OBP in a month since the start of last year is .353. At his absolute worst the man is still 35% of the way to being on first base every time he steps to the plate, which is absolutely staggering), he just seems to have a week or two every month or every other month where those pop ups annoy the crap out of us so his slumps feel more noticeable.

TL:DR; in forkspeak this team basically has Gehrig and Ruth in the middle of the lineup day in and day out and the older one of the two is 26. Good shit.

On the one hand, good god.
On the other hand, looking at calendar months is kind of arbitrary.  What if he was awful from the 15th to the 15th and amazing the other two weeks of each month?

Also, this is as far as I'm willing to take this discussion.


I can't do 30 day windows, but I can get pretty close.

Here's his OBP across daily 30 game windows since the start of 2014. I removed the first 30 games of each season. In terms of not being bad, he's pretty steady.


0.310-0.320 1
0.320-0.330 5
0.330-0.340 8
0.340-0.350 35
0.350-0.360 41
0.360-0.370 35
0.370-0.380 23
0.380-0.390 33
0.390-0.400 21
0.400-0.410 24
0.410-0.420 22
0.420-0.430 12
0.430-0.440 3
0.440-0.450 4
0.450-0.460 4
0.460-0.470 1
0.470-0.480 3
0.480-0.490 1


And same story with SLG.

0.300-0.320 2
0.320-0.340 1
0.340-0.360 1
0.380-0.400 6
0.400-0.420 11
0.420-0.440 23
0.440-0.460 15
0.460-0.480 16
0.480-0.500 29
0.500-0.520 41
0.520-0.540 26
0.540-0.560 24
0.560-0.580 19
0.580-0.600 10
0.600-0.620 24
0.620-0.640 11
0.640-0.660 11
0.660-0.680 6


If you're more of a visual learner:

(http://i.imgur.com/nhFGIva.png?1)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on June 30, 2016, 06:46:46 PM
22 homers and it's not even July yet. Boring.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Grandmaster Wang on July 05, 2016, 02:25:12 PM
This fuckin' guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 05, 2016, 02:25:56 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on June 30, 2016, 06:46:46 PM
22 homers and it's not even July yet. Boring.

25 on July 5th is also boring.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Grandmaster Wang on July 05, 2016, 02:51:13 PM
So my nephew is turning 11 in a couple weeks. Cubs anything. (Except his mom has told me that a Try Not To Suck shirt is off limits. White people, amirite?) I already got him a home white jersey with his own name on the back (hey, he's a kid) last year, but now he wants a blue, and he has apparently already left the own-name douchiness in the rear view, though he apparently has not yet internalized the inherent douchiness of the blue top. Anyway, he has always been a Rizzo Guy. And he's got a couple boxes of Rizzo's on the way. But before I got the jersey, I just figured I'd confirm, so I asked him yesterday...

"Bryant. I'm not proud of it. Actually, yeah, I guess I am."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 05, 2016, 04:01:34 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 05, 2016, 02:25:56 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on June 30, 2016, 06:46:46 PM
22 homers and it's not even July yet. Boring.

25 on July 5th is also boring.

More selfish homers from a selfish jerk. Give me Grichuk and Piscotty any day.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 05, 2016, 04:02:13 PM
Quote from: Grandmaster Wang on July 05, 2016, 02:51:13 PM
So my nephew is turning 11 in a couple weeks. Cubs anything. (Except his mom has told me that a Try Not To Suck shirt is off limits. White people, amirite?) I already got him a home white jersey with his own name on the back (hey, he's a kid) last year, but now he wants a blue, and he has apparently already left the own-name douchiness in the rear view, though he apparently has not yet internalized the inherent douchiness of the blue top. Anyway, he has always been a Rizzo Guy. And he's got a couple boxes of Rizzo's on the way. But before I got the jersey, I just figured I'd confirm, so I asked him yesterday...

"Bryant. I'm not proud of it. Actually, yeah, I guess I am."

what
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on July 05, 2016, 08:49:58 PM
Quote from: Grandmaster Wang on July 05, 2016, 02:51:13 PM
So my nephew is turning 11 in a couple weeks. Cubs anything. (Except his mom has told me that a Try Not To Suck shirt is off limits. White people, amirite?) I already got him a home white jersey with his own name on the back (hey, he's a kid) last year, but now he wants a blue, and he has apparently already left the own-name douchiness in the rear view, though he apparently has not yet internalized the inherent douchiness of the blue top. Anyway, he has always been a Rizzo Guy. And he's got a couple boxes of Rizzo's on the way. But before I got the jersey, I just figured I'd confirm, so I asked him yesterday...

"Bryant. I'm not proud of it. Actually, yeah, I guess I am."

I'll allow it.

And I'd recommend #27.  I have a feeling that Russell will still be kicking ass when the kid turns 30.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on July 27, 2016, 08:23:01 AM
His OPS the last couple weeks is under .800.

So any time he wants to go back to being awesome would be aces.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 27, 2016, 08:44:18 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on July 27, 2016, 08:23:01 AM
His OPS the last couple weeks is under .800.

So any time he wants to go back to being awesome would be aces.

For awhile there Bryant/Willson/Rizzo/Russell were all hotter than shit and they kept losing because the pitching sucked. Now the pitching looks better and only Rizzo is still kinda hot out of that group, and Zobrist and Heyward aren't picking up any of the slack whatsoever.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on July 27, 2016, 08:45:11 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on July 27, 2016, 08:23:01 AM
His OPS the last couple weeks is under .800.

So any time he wants to go back to being awesome would be aces.

.261 /.306/.304/.610 since the break. On a .375 BABIP
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 27, 2016, 08:54:18 PM
K-BOOM. About time someone roughed up this bum.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 27, 2016, 09:22:53 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 27, 2016, 08:45:11 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on July 27, 2016, 08:23:01 AM
His OPS the last couple weeks is under .800.

So any time he wants to go back to being awesome would be aces.

.261 /.306/.304/.610 since the break. On a .375 BABIP

FYC
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on July 29, 2016, 02:09:38 PM
Quote from: SKO on July 27, 2016, 09:22:53 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on July 27, 2016, 08:45:11 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on July 27, 2016, 08:23:01 AM
His OPS the last couple weeks is under .800.

So any time he wants to go back to being awesome would be aces.

.261 /.306/.304/.610 since the break. On a .375 BABIP

FYC
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: WTB...A RING FFS!! on August 18, 2016, 02:07:54 PM
Bump
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 18, 2016, 02:14:58 PM
He ain't bad.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 18, 2016, 02:24:04 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 18, 2016, 02:14:58 PM
He ain't bad.

He'll do.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 18, 2016, 02:45:11 PM
Quote from: Bort on August 18, 2016, 02:24:04 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 18, 2016, 02:14:58 PM
He ain't bad.

He'll do.

He's no Jon Gray.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on August 18, 2016, 02:50:02 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 18, 2016, 02:45:11 PM
Quote from: Bort on August 18, 2016, 02:24:04 PM
Quote from: SKO on August 18, 2016, 02:14:58 PM
He ain't bad.

He'll do.

He's no Jon Gray.

Or Mark Appel.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Grandmaster Wang on August 18, 2016, 03:39:05 PM
This fuckin' guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 18, 2016, 03:39:29 PM
Cycles are for losers. Dingers are for winners.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 18, 2016, 07:16:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 18, 2016, 03:39:29 PM
Cycles are for losers. Dingers are for winners.
I would much rather two home runs in a 5-for-5 day than a fucking cycle.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: InternetApex on August 18, 2016, 09:17:02 PM
Quote from: Bort on August 18, 2016, 07:16:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 18, 2016, 03:39:29 PM
Cycles are for losers. Dingers are for winners.
I would much rather two home runs in a 5-for-5 day than a fucking cycle.

Triples are pretty awesome to see though. Maybe the last RBI single could have been three-bagger if he was really trying.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 22, 2016, 11:35:45 PM
Yawn. Wake me when he hits four in a game or something.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 23, 2016, 11:05:32 AM
Up to third in the MLB in WAR. It'll be a tight race to see if he can top the 8.2 WAR Troy Glaus posted in his second full MLB season.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on August 23, 2016, 01:42:05 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 23, 2016, 11:05:32 AM
Up to third in the MLB in WAR. It'll be a tight race to see if he can top the 8.2 WAR Troy Glaus posted in his second full MLB season.

I'll validate.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 23, 2016, 01:57:32 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on August 23, 2016, 01:42:05 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 23, 2016, 11:05:32 AM
Up to third in the MLB in WAR. It'll be a tight race to see if he can top the 8.2 WAR Troy Glaus posted in his second full MLB season.

I'll validate.

I didn't want to be the first.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 23, 2016, 02:03:18 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on August 23, 2016, 01:42:05 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 23, 2016, 11:05:32 AM
Up to third in the MLB in WAR. It'll be a tight race to see if he can top the 8.2 WAR Troy Glaus posted in his second full MLB season.

I'll validate.

I'm glad you responded to this PenSignal.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: WTB...A RING FFS!! on August 23, 2016, 10:24:46 PM
He's in the groove.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on August 24, 2016, 02:23:06 PM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on August 23, 2016, 10:24:46 PM
He's in the groove.

Groove is in the heart.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 25, 2016, 08:44:05 AM
(http://imageshack.com/a/img924/3208/1P4bYH.png)

Do we still do "fap" because uhhh....fap fap fap
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on August 25, 2016, 09:00:52 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 08:44:05 AM
(http://imageshack.com/a/img924/3208/1P4bYH.png)

Do we still do "fap" because uhhh....fap fap fap

What a fun time to be a baseball fan in general - so much young talent right now it's ridiculous. Just from your list:

Trout - 25
Bryant - 24
Altuve - 26
Seager - 22
Betts - 23
Machado - 24
Lindor - 22

Also I'm glad Daniel Murphy is getting all these hits out of his system before he eats shit in the playoffs.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:05:52 AM
Quote from: R-V on August 25, 2016, 09:00:52 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 08:44:05 AM
(http://imageshack.com/a/img924/3208/1P4bYH.png)

Do we still do "fap" because uhhh....fap fap fap

What a fun time to be a baseball fan in general - so much young talent right now it's ridiculous. Just from your list:

Trout - 25
Bryant - 24
Altuve - 26
Seager - 22
Betts - 23
Machado - 24
Lindor - 22

Also I'm glad Daniel Murphy is getting all these hits out of his system before he eats shit in the playoffs.

Yeah if MLB ever fixes it's moronic policies on sharing highlights and gifs and the stupid streaming blackouts etc. they have a lot of insanely good, fun, young talent that they can market the shit out of. That list doesn't even include guys like Harper, Correa, Rizzo, etc. The current generation is very good. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 25, 2016, 09:39:00 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?

Has anyone, really?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:40:58 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?

10.6 fWAR for Troy in his first two campaigns, but I think we all know that "surpassing Troy Glaus" is a metaphor, really. You can't surpass the Troy Glaus without until you have surpassed the Troy Glaus within.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 25, 2016, 09:42:38 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:40:58 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?

10.6 fWAR for Troy in his first two campaigns, but I think we all know that "surpassing Troy Glaus" is a metaphor, really. You can't surpass the Troy Glaus without until you have surpassed the Troy Glaus within.

"If you meet Troy Glaus on the road, kill him!"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on August 25, 2016, 09:51:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:40:58 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?

10.6 fWAR for Troy in his first two campaigns, but I think we all know that "surpassing Troy Glaus" is a metaphor, really. You can't surpass the Troy Glaus without until you have surpassed the Troy Glaus within.

WE'RE REACHING SINGULARITY, PEOPLE
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on August 25, 2016, 09:57:31 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on August 25, 2016, 09:51:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:40:58 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?

10.6 fWAR for Troy in his first two campaigns, but I think we all know that "surpassing Troy Glaus" is a metaphor, really. You can't surpass the Troy Glaus without until you have surpassed the Troy Glaus within.

WE'RE REACHING SINGULARITY, PEOPLE

That's called "Going Full Glaus."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on August 25, 2016, 09:59:23 AM
Quote from: Bort on August 25, 2016, 09:57:31 AM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on August 25, 2016, 09:51:04 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:40:58 AM
Quote from: ChuckD on August 25, 2016, 09:34:22 AM
Quote from: SKO on August 25, 2016, 09:19:45 AM
Also it's really amazing that we splooged everywhere when someone laid out Evan Longoria as a best-case comp for Kris Bryant and now Kris (13.3) has already surpassed the 12.7 fWAR Evan managed in his first two unbelievably great years.

Has he surpassed Troy Glaus?

10.6 fWAR for Troy in his first two campaigns, but I think we all know that "surpassing Troy Glaus" is a metaphor, really. You can't surpass the Troy Glaus without until you have surpassed the Troy Glaus within.

WE'RE REACHING SINGULARITY, PEOPLE

That's called "Going Full Glaus."

<*head exploding gif*>
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on August 25, 2016, 10:33:38 AM
Everyone is giddy.

The Cubs are highly likely to become the first 100-win Cubs team since 1935, and only the second since 1910. Even Stew can't remember the last time that happened!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on August 25, 2016, 11:44:09 AM
Quote from: Canadouche on August 25, 2016, 10:33:38 AM
Everyone is giddy.

The Cubs are highly likely to become the first 100-win Cubs team since 1935, and only the second since 1910. Even Stew can't remember the last time that happened!
The major leagues went from 154 to a 162 game season in 1962.  So before 1962 it was even harder to reach 100 wins in a season.  And yes, 1935 was before my time.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 02:56:27 PM
Is it too early to sign him to a 20-year lifetime contract?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 26, 2016, 03:20:42 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 02:56:27 PM
Is it too early to sign him to a 20-year lifetime contract?

Intrepid Reader: Scott Boras

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 03:28:34 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on August 26, 2016, 03:20:42 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 02:56:27 PM
Is it too early to sign him to a 20-year lifetime contract?

Intrepid Reader: Scott Boras

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I mean, pay the man. I wasn't saying low-ball him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 26, 2016, 03:38:13 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 03:28:34 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on August 26, 2016, 03:20:42 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 02:56:27 PM
Is it too early to sign him to a 20-year lifetime contract?

Intrepid Reader: Scott Boras

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I mean, pay the man. I wasn't saying low-ball him.

If Boras ever has problems being flaccid, he just thinks about Bryant on the open market.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on August 26, 2016, 03:46:32 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 02:56:27 PM
Is it too early to sign him to a 20-year lifetime contract?

Why do you want Kris Bryant to die when he's 44?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 10:32:40 PM
Quote from: Eli on August 26, 2016, 03:46:32 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on August 26, 2016, 02:56:27 PM
Is it too early to sign him to a 20-year lifetime contract?

Why do you want Kris Bryant to die when he's 44?

That's true. He's playing until he's 50 at least.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on August 27, 2016, 12:22:59 AM
KABOOM
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on August 27, 2016, 12:24:32 AM
Holy fucking shit. Against a guy who hadn't given a HR up this year until that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on August 27, 2016, 12:25:30 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on August 27, 2016, 12:24:32 AM
Holy fucking shit. Against a guy who hadn't given a HR up this year until that.

More like Adam Liberaturd amirite
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on August 27, 2016, 12:33:33 AM
Hahahaha
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on August 27, 2016, 12:56:59 AM
Seriously. This fucking guy.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Grandmaster Wang on August 27, 2016, 06:14:09 AM
(http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/1113/lazyhacks-food-ranch2.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on August 27, 2016, 06:40:10 AM
Echoes of Ryne Sandberg.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Shooter on September 07, 2016, 07:17:09 PM
Stop sliding head first in to first base, especially in meaningless games.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2016, 09:44:32 PM
That was pretty. Here's hoping he gets hot again.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2016, 10:16:40 PM
First guy since Eddie Mathews (another decent hitting 3B) in 1959 to hit 10 HR in a year against the Reds.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on September 23, 2016, 10:34:00 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2016, 10:16:40 PM
First guy since Eddie Mathews (another decent hitting 3B) in 1959 to hit 10 HR in a year against the Reds.

That's 5 more HR against the Reds than Troy Glaus hit in his entire career!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 24, 2016, 02:24:29 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on September 23, 2016, 10:34:00 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2016, 10:16:40 PM
First guy since Eddie Mathews (another decent hitting 3B) in 1959 to hit 10 HR in a year against the Reds.

That's 5 more HR against the Reds than Troy Glaus hit in his entire career!

If you can read this, you can get 5 HR off the Reds.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Armchair_QB on November 01, 2016, 11:29:05 PM
Quote from: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: The Big Cheese on November 02, 2016, 12:32:54 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on November 01, 2016, 11:29:05 PM
Quote from: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on November 02, 2016, 07:29:12 AM
Quote from: The Big Cheese on November 02, 2016, 12:32:54 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on November 01, 2016, 11:29:05 PM
Quote from: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: morpheus on November 02, 2016, 12:25:09 PM
Quote from: Bort on November 02, 2016, 07:29:12 AM
Quote from: The Big Cheese on November 02, 2016, 12:32:54 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on November 01, 2016, 11:29:05 PM
Quote from: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: thehawk on November 03, 2016, 01:40:27 AM
Quote from: morpheus on November 02, 2016, 12:25:09 PM
Quote from: Bort on November 02, 2016, 07:29:12 AM
Quote from: The Big Cheese on November 02, 2016, 12:32:54 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on November 01, 2016, 11:29:05 PM
Quote from: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on November 03, 2016, 01:47:33 AM
Quote from: thehawk on November 03, 2016, 01:40:27 AM
Quote from: morpheus on November 02, 2016, 12:25:09 PM
Quote from: Bort on November 02, 2016, 07:29:12 AM
Quote from: The Big Cheese on November 02, 2016, 12:32:54 AM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on November 01, 2016, 11:29:05 PM
Quote from: thehawk on November 01, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 01, 2016, 08:47:40 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on November 01, 2016, 08:31:40 PM
Quote from: Canadouche on November 01, 2016, 07:37:12 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 01, 2016, 07:15:47 PM
FUCK YES
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on November 03, 2016, 06:25:58 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Agreed on both counts (it's a minor quibble and he did deserve MVP in my eyes.) 

Him scoring from first yesterday was a thing of absolute beauty. 
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on November 03, 2016, 06:35:03 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Gotta leave something for him to shoot for next year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on November 03, 2016, 06:57:07 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on November 03, 2016, 06:25:58 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Agreed on both counts (it's a minor quibble and he did deserve MVP in my eyes.) 

Him scoring from first yesterday was a thing of absolute beauty. 

In an heroic accord, we all agree on all counts.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on November 04, 2016, 09:25:00 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on November 03, 2016, 06:25:58 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Agreed on both counts (it's a minor quibble and he did deserve MVP in my eyes.) 

Him scoring from first yesterday was a thing of absolute beauty. 

Yes it was.

He is just so good at most everything. I knew we were getting a stud with an advanced hitting approach, but I didn't think we'd be getting such a good baseball IQ with him. He's a great all around baseball player.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on November 04, 2016, 09:29:59 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on November 04, 2016, 09:25:00 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on November 03, 2016, 06:25:58 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Agreed on both counts (it's a minor quibble and he did deserve MVP in my eyes.) 

Him scoring from first yesterday was a thing of absolute beauty. 

Yes it was.

He is just so good at most everything. I knew we were getting a stud with an advanced hitting approach, but I didn't think we'd be getting such a good baseball IQ with him. He's a great all around baseball player.

Bryant is the only player I've ever seen who had more hype than God on his first day as a major league player and yet was actually underrated. I was looking forward to Troy Glaus, Pen be damned. If he'd just been the .250/.350/.500, 40 dinger guy who played bad defense and didn't do much of anything else I'd have still been through the goddamn roof over how awesome he was. Instead he's actually an above average defender at three different positions who is maybe the smartest damn baserunner I've ever seen, runs like a fucking gazelle, is so Nice And Photogenic And Aww Shucks Perfect that I'd want him dead if he wasn't a Cub, and he also just decided this year that strikeouts were dumb and lame and he wasn't going to do that anymore and now he's a guy that might tack a .300 average onto all of the above. If I didn't have a wife and kid I'd say he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's still closer than it should be.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on November 04, 2016, 09:35:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on November 04, 2016, 09:29:59 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on November 04, 2016, 09:25:00 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on November 03, 2016, 06:25:58 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Agreed on both counts (it's a minor quibble and he did deserve MVP in my eyes.) 

Him scoring from first yesterday was a thing of absolute beauty. 

Yes it was.

He is just so good at most everything. I knew we were getting a stud with an advanced hitting approach, but I didn't think we'd be getting such a good baseball IQ with him. He's a great all around baseball player.

Bryant is the only player I've ever seen who had more hype than God on his first day as a major league player and yet was actually underrated. I was looking forward to Troy Glaus, Pen be damned. If he'd just been the .250/.350/.500, 40 dinger guy who played bad defense and didn't do much of anything else I'd have still been through the goddamn roof over how awesome he was. Instead he's actually an above average defender at three different positions who is maybe the smartest damn baserunner I've ever seen, runs like a fucking gazelle, is so Nice And Photogenic And Aww Shucks Perfect that I'd want him dead if he wasn't a Cub, and he also just decided this year that strikeouts were dumb and lame and he wasn't going to do that anymore and now he's a guy that might tack a .300 average onto all of the above. If I didn't have a wife and kid I'd say he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's still closer than it should be.

He's probably now the best player in the NL?  Depending on how you view Harper...
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on November 04, 2016, 09:44:05 AM
Quote from: Oleg on November 04, 2016, 09:35:31 AM
Quote from: SKO on November 04, 2016, 09:29:59 AM
Quote from: Powdered Toast Man on November 04, 2016, 09:25:00 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on November 03, 2016, 06:25:58 PM
Quote from: Cannonball Titcomb on November 03, 2016, 04:43:03 PM
A minor quibble, but I thought KB deserved the World Series MVP.

Agreed on both counts (it's a minor quibble and he did deserve MVP in my eyes.) 

Him scoring from first yesterday was a thing of absolute beauty. 

Yes it was.

He is just so good at most everything. I knew we were getting a stud with an advanced hitting approach, but I didn't think we'd be getting such a good baseball IQ with him. He's a great all around baseball player.

Bryant is the only player I've ever seen who had more hype than God on his first day as a major league player and yet was actually underrated. I was looking forward to Troy Glaus, Pen be damned. If he'd just been the .250/.350/.500, 40 dinger guy who played bad defense and didn't do much of anything else I'd have still been through the goddamn roof over how awesome he was. Instead he's actually an above average defender at three different positions who is maybe the smartest damn baserunner I've ever seen, runs like a fucking gazelle, is so Nice And Photogenic And Aww Shucks Perfect that I'd want him dead if he wasn't a Cub, and he also just decided this year that strikeouts were dumb and lame and he wasn't going to do that anymore and now he's a guy that might tack a .300 average onto all of the above. If I didn't have a wife and kid I'd say he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's still closer than it should be.

He's probably now the best player in the NL?  Depending on how you view Harper...

Yeah I think he is. For one I think Bryant's versatility provides more value than a corner OF in general anyway, but also the 9.5 fWAR by Harper is looking not necessarily like a fluke but as his absolute peak. 4/5 Harper years have been 4.6 fWAR or below. I think it's fair to say he hasn't proven yet that he's a consistently elite player, and it's hard to argue just two seasons in that Bryant isn't.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on November 17, 2016, 05:52:02 PM
Fun fact: Troy Glaus finished 30th in MVP voting in 2006. The only time he ever even registered on the list.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: WTB...A RING FFS!! on November 17, 2016, 06:20:12 PM
Thanks again Houston for taking Appel.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on November 17, 2016, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 17, 2016, 05:52:02 PM
Fun fact: Troy Glaus finished 30th in MVP voting in 2006. The only time he ever even registered on the list.

As an aside, it's weird that he didn't get any votes at all in 2000. I guess his punter teammate got all the glory.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on November 18, 2016, 07:46:17 AM
Quote from: Eli on November 17, 2016, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 17, 2016, 05:52:02 PM
Fun fact: Troy Glaus finished 30th in MVP voting in 2006. The only time he ever even registered on the list.

As an aside, it's weird that he didn't get any votes at all in 2000. I guess his punter teammate got all the glory.

Man Erstad and Glaus combined for 16.1 bWAR and 16.9 fWAR that year and the Angels barely won 82 games. They have a talent for wasting historically good seasons, apparently.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on November 18, 2016, 09:40:27 AM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on November 17, 2016, 06:20:12 PM
Thanks again Houston for taking Appel.

I've seen a lot of people calling Mark Appel the Sam Bowie to Bryant's Jordan, which seems unfair to Sam Bowie. That dude actually had a long if unspectacular NBA career. Mark Appel may never throw a major league pitch.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: ChuckD on November 18, 2016, 03:58:40 PM
Quote from: SKO on November 18, 2016, 09:40:27 AM
Quote from: WTB...A RING FFS!! on November 17, 2016, 06:20:12 PM
Thanks again Houston for taking Appel.

I've seen a lot of people calling Mark Appel the Sam Bowie to Bryant's Jordan, which seems unfair to Sam Bowie. That dude actually had a long if unspectacular NBA career. Mark Appel may never throw a major league pitch.

Nobody of importance was drafted after Brien Taylor (who obviously never made it to the MLB). Butt Matt Anderson sort of fits the bill since J.D. Drew went second that year followed by the first coming (||) of Kris Bryant.

Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on November 18, 2016, 04:05:32 PM
Quote from: Eli on November 17, 2016, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on November 17, 2016, 05:52:02 PM
Fun fact: Troy Glaus finished 30th in MVP voting in 2006. The only time he ever even registered on the list.

As an aside, it's weird that he didn't get any votes at all in 2000. I guess his punter teammate got all the glory.

As an aside to your aside, this PUNTER reference made me nostalgic for Fire Joe Morgan.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on February 16, 2017, 08:49:07 PM
This filled me with joy. (http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/greg-maddux-wears-bearded-disguise-prank-kris-bryant-article-1.2974650)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on February 16, 2017, 11:25:13 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 16, 2017, 08:49:07 PM
This filled me with joy. (http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/greg-maddux-wears-bearded-disguise-prank-kris-bryant-article-1.2974650)
I've got a bridge that you may be interested in buying.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on February 17, 2017, 02:38:29 AM
Quote from: CBStew on February 16, 2017, 11:25:13 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 16, 2017, 08:49:07 PM
This filled me with joy. (http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/greg-maddux-wears-bearded-disguise-prank-kris-bryant-article-1.2974650)
I've got a bridge that you may be interested in buying.

Red Bull. I suddenly want a Red Bull. No idea why. Would you also like a Red Bull? Red Bull.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on February 17, 2017, 02:40:50 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on February 17, 2017, 02:38:29 AM
Quote from: CBStew on February 16, 2017, 11:25:13 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 16, 2017, 08:49:07 PM
This filled me with joy. (http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/greg-maddux-wears-bearded-disguise-prank-kris-bryant-article-1.2974650)
I've got a bridge that you may be interested in buying.

Red Bull. I suddenly want a Red Bull. No idea why. Would you also like a Red Bull? Red Bull.

I get it, you're both too cool to enjoy something just because it's fun.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Canadouche on February 20, 2017, 07:24:47 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 17, 2017, 02:40:50 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on February 17, 2017, 02:38:29 AM
Quote from: CBStew on February 16, 2017, 11:25:13 PM
Quote from: Bort on February 16, 2017, 08:49:07 PM
This filled me with joy. (http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/greg-maddux-wears-bearded-disguise-prank-kris-bryant-article-1.2974650)
I've got a bridge that you may be interested in buying.

Red Bull. I suddenly want a Red Bull. No idea why. Would you also like a Red Bull? Red Bull.

I get it, you're both too cool to enjoy something just because it's fun.

I'm not too cool to enjoy something just because it's fun. This made me laugh.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on March 03, 2017, 09:17:09 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.
10 years from now 300 million will be worth $152.47.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 03, 2017, 12:04:39 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.

The Cubs would me wise to backload the fuck out of whatever it is, to safeguard against the inevitable opt-out that Boras would insist on.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on March 03, 2017, 01:02:31 PM
This is why it won't happen until spring 2020 at earliest. Too much risk for both sides.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on March 06, 2017, 09:18:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.

I'm not sure this is true.

Bryant will have 4 years of arbitration after this year.  We can look at Arenado, who signed a 2/29.5 deal that still leaves the club with an arb4 player who can get an extension after next year.  He got 5MM in arb1 and then that contract goes into effect.  So, for Bryant, if we use Arenado as a comp, we can assume about 50-55MM for the next 4 years.

You're asking for Boras to accept about 250MM to buy out 6 years of his free agency.  That's a lot of money and a lot of free agency to buy out.

But, maybe a couple of years isn't out of the question?  For the security and risk, assume the Cubs can buy out a couple of years at 25-30MM per year?

I would guess something along the lines of 6 years/110MM would get it done, buy out two free agent years and see what happens after that...but, there is probably very little incentive for Boras to do it.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 06, 2017, 11:52:09 AM
Quote from: Oleg on March 06, 2017, 09:18:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.

I'm not sure this is true.

Bryant will have 4 years of arbitration after this year.  We can look at Arenado, who signed a 2/29.5 deal that still leaves the club with an arb4 player who can get an extension after next year.  He got 5MM in arb1 and then that contract goes into effect.  So, for Bryant, if we use Arenado as a comp, we can assume about 50-55MM for the next 4 years.

You're asking for Boras to accept about 250MM to buy out 6 years of his free agency.  That's a lot of money and a lot of free agency to buy out.

But, maybe a couple of years isn't out of the question?  For the security and risk, assume the Cubs can buy out a couple of years at 25-30MM per year?

I would guess something along the lines of 6 years/110MM would get it done, buy out two free agent years and see what happens after that...but, there is probably very little incentive for Boras to do it.

Yeah I factored that in, which is why I said negotiations would start at "a lot of fucking money"
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 06, 2017, 10:43:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 06, 2017, 11:52:09 AM
Quote from: Oleg on March 06, 2017, 09:18:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.

I'm not sure this is true.

Bryant will have 4 years of arbitration after this year.  We can look at Arenado, who signed a 2/29.5 deal that still leaves the club with an arb4 player who can get an extension after next year.  He got 5MM in arb1 and then that contract goes into effect.  So, for Bryant, if we use Arenado as a comp, we can assume about 50-55MM for the next 4 years.

You're asking for Boras to accept about 250MM to buy out 6 years of his free agency.  That's a lot of money and a lot of free agency to buy out.

But, maybe a couple of years isn't out of the question?  For the security and risk, assume the Cubs can buy out a couple of years at 25-30MM per year?

I would guess something along the lines of 6 years/110MM would get it done, buy out two free agent years and see what happens after that...but, there is probably very little incentive for Boras to do it.

Yeah I factored that in, which is why I said negotiations would start at "a lot of fucking money"

Start at Giancarlo Stanton. Work up from there.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on March 07, 2017, 01:54:12 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on March 06, 2017, 10:43:59 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 06, 2017, 11:52:09 AM
Quote from: Oleg on March 06, 2017, 09:18:58 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 03, 2017, 07:49:17 AM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on March 02, 2017, 11:13:58 PM
Let's say the Cubs decided to try locking Kris up now. How many years, and how much money would it take to get done? Is there a number that KB would eschew free agency for?

I honestly think negotiations would start at 10 years, 300 million.

I'm not sure this is true.

Bryant will have 4 years of arbitration after this year.  We can look at Arenado, who signed a 2/29.5 deal that still leaves the club with an arb4 player who can get an extension after next year.  He got 5MM in arb1 and then that contract goes into effect.  So, for Bryant, if we use Arenado as a comp, we can assume about 50-55MM for the next 4 years.

You're asking for Boras to accept about 250MM to buy out 6 years of his free agency.  That's a lot of money and a lot of free agency to buy out.

But, maybe a couple of years isn't out of the question?  For the security and risk, assume the Cubs can buy out a couple of years at 25-30MM per year?

I would guess something along the lines of 6 years/110MM would get it done, buy out two free agent years and see what happens after that...but, there is probably very little incentive for Boras to do it.

Yeah I factored that in, which is why I said negotiations would start at "a lot of fucking money"

Start at Giancarlo Stanton. Work up from there.

Mike Stanton was cheaper. If Kris ever changes his name, we're screwed
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on March 07, 2017, 11:48:25 AM
Mike Trout got 6/144.5 three years ago. That seems like it's around where Bryant should land.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on March 07, 2017, 12:15:24 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on March 07, 2017, 11:48:25 AM
Mike Trout got 6/144.5 three years ago. That seems like it's around where Bryant should land.

That contract is actually, crazily enough, regarded as a bargain for the Angels and well below market value for Trout (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjFqNLf_8TSAhUmr1QKHcmUDwwQFggdMAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Farticles.latimes.com%2F2014%2Fmar%2F29%2Fsports%2Fla-sp-sn-mike-trout-agent-craig-landis-20140329&usg=AFQjCNGreIfnmLd-swQMNb1Kx2tEsSgSWw&sig2=7k4T-wrKEfBe_KubRjCyag&bvm=bv.148747831,d.amc) and Boras wouldn't dream of allowing Bryant to sell himself short like that.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: morpheus on March 07, 2017, 01:25:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on March 07, 2017, 12:15:24 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on March 07, 2017, 11:48:25 AM
Mike Trout got 6/144.5 three years ago. That seems like it's around where Bryant should land.

That contract is actually, crazily enough, regarded as a bargain for the Angels and well below market value for Trout (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjFqNLf_8TSAhUmr1QKHcmUDwwQFggdMAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Farticles.latimes.com%2F2014%2Fmar%2F29%2Fsports%2Fla-sp-sn-mike-trout-agent-craig-landis-20140329&usg=AFQjCNGreIfnmLd-swQMNb1Kx2tEsSgSWw&sig2=7k4T-wrKEfBe_KubRjCyag&bvm=bv.148747831,d.amc) and Boras wouldn't dream of allowing Bryant to sell himself short like that.

(http://i.imgur.com/JqxLWPE.jpg)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on March 08, 2017, 11:53:01 AM
Quote from: SKO on March 07, 2017, 12:15:24 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on March 07, 2017, 11:48:25 AM
Mike Trout got 6/144.5 three years ago. That seems like it's around where Bryant should land.

That contract is actually, crazily enough, regarded as a bargain for the Angels and well below market value for Trout (http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjFqNLf_8TSAhUmr1QKHcmUDwwQFggdMAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Farticles.latimes.com%2F2014%2Fmar%2F29%2Fsports%2Fla-sp-sn-mike-trout-agent-craig-landis-20140329&usg=AFQjCNGreIfnmLd-swQMNb1Kx2tEsSgSWw&sig2=7k4T-wrKEfBe_KubRjCyag&bvm=bv.148747831,d.amc) and Boras wouldn't dream of allowing Bryant to sell himself short like that.

Yeah, that was also pretty much a record contract and it wasn't even close.  Trout was also a guy coming off 2 10-win seasons.

Maybe it is a good place for Bryant to land, after this year.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 28, 2017, 06:19:00 PM
Bump for clearing the Green Monster.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 02, 2017, 11:18:37 PM
Kris Bryant Still Awesome, Sources Say
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Oleg on May 18, 2017, 02:41:29 PM
He's better than bad, he's good.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 19, 2017, 11:30:46 AM
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 19, 2017, 12:42:51 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on July 19, 2017, 11:30:46 AM
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

Quote from: @markgrotesports
Kris Bryant with a left pinkie strain. X-rays negative. Day to day.

Whew. Now never do that again, Kris. Never get hurt. Live forever.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on September 21, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.

We're just too busy emoting over shitty players
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:28:09 AM
Quote from: Yeti on September 21, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.

We're just too busy emoting over shitty players

Some people fan by ranting at Jason Heyward, others fan by caping up for Milton Bradley. We're all human, I guess.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on September 21, 2017, 11:31:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:28:09 AM
Quote from: Yeti on September 21, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.

We're just too busy emoting over shitty players

Some people fan by ranting at Jason Heyward, others fan by caping up for Milton Bradley. We're all human, I guess.

That was years ago. I think liberal Yeti has established himself as someone who wouldn't defend MB like Conservative Yeti did
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on September 21, 2017, 12:17:32 PM
Quote from: Yeti on September 21, 2017, 11:31:57 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:28:09 AM
Quote from: Yeti on September 21, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.

We're just too busy emoting over shitty players

Some people fan by ranting at Jason Heyward, others fan by caping up for Milton Bradley. We're all human, I guess.

That was years ago. I think liberal Yeti has established himself as someone who wouldn't defend MB like Conservative Yeti did

Intrepid Reader: Milton Bradley (http://www.espn.com/chicago/mlb/news/story?id=4980983)

Conservative Yeti was Woke and Liberal Yeti was racist?

QuoteBradley, who was traded to the Mariners for Carlos Silva and cash on Dec. 18, was asked if Chicago is a tough place to play for African-Americans.

"Well, I mean unless you go out there and you're Superman -- you're Andre Dawson, you're Ernie Banks, you're in the Hall of Fame -- then it's going to be tough," Bradley said. "People are just the way they are.

"When you get paid a lot of money to play this game, they expect miracles. And when you don't go out there and perform like that, then people don't like it. People don't want to see a guy that's brash and cocky and a little arrogant and kind of does his own thing making a lot of money. They were like, 'He doesn't deserve that.'"

Bradley was asked if race played a role.

"I got the same mail LaTroy [Hawkins] probably got; the same mail Jacque [Jones] got," Bradley said. "Every time I got mail, I handed it to the PR guy and said, 'Here it goes.'

"I was getting so much until I didn't even have to open up the letter to know what it was, I could see from the envelope. I could just tell, you get an envelope, no address on it, no postmark, it's just in your mail. How does that get in your cubby hole? I don't know how that happens."
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:18:10 PM
you assholes still aren't appreciating Kris Bryant.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: R-V on September 21, 2017, 12:26:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.

I don't know how to do "first 3 years of career" on Fangraphs, but if you go by age 23-25 seasons, he's 21st all time (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2017&month=0&season1=1871&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=23,25&filter=&players=).
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:32:41 PM
Quote from: R-V on September 21, 2017, 12:26:41 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 11:21:02 AM
Kris passes 6 fWAR for the 3rd straight year to begin his career. I'm pretty sure he's 6th or 7th all time in WAR through the first three years of a career but I'm not a B-Ref subscriber so I'm not sure I ran the play index correctly and I cant' tell you the names of who is ahead of him. Anywho, this kid is pretty much already an all-time great and we haven't bumped this thread in two months because we fucking suck and are not worthy of him.

I don't know how to do "first 3 years of career" on Fangraphs, but if you go by age 23-25 seasons, he's 21st all time (http://www.fangraphs.com/leaders.aspx?pos=all&stats=bat&lg=all&qual=y&type=8&season=2017&month=0&season1=1871&ind=0&team=&rost=&age=23,25&filter=&players=).

Yeah I know he doesn't fare quite as well if you go by age rather than just "first three years of career" because most of the supernatural talents like Bonds, Williams, Mantle, etc started well before 23. But still of those 21, the only ones not in the HOF are active players (Trout and Pujols), two of the greatest players of all time currently blackballed by the league (Bonds and A-Rod), and Grady Sizemore, who was probably a HOFer if he'd stayed healthy. Good company I'd say.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.

Get this negativity the fuck out of the Kris Bryant thread. Why aren't you appreciating him more, you jerk? This is the thread where we appreciate him, not jinx him by bringing up failures. Someone should have told you.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:48:26 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.

Get this negativity the fuck out of the Kris Bryant thread. Why aren't you appreciating him more, you jerk? This is the thread where we appreciate him, not jinx him by bringing up failures. Someone should have told you.

Kris Bryant is what Grady Sizemore should have been. If he played 3rd. And was made of steel.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on September 21, 2017, 01:06:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:48:26 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.

Get this negativity the fuck out of the Kris Bryant thread. Why aren't you appreciating him more, you jerk? This is the thread where we appreciate him, not jinx him by bringing up failures. Someone should have told you.

Kris Bryant is what Grady Sizemore should have been. If he played 3rd. And was made of steel.

Troy Glaus had a 15.4 WAR his 23-25 age seasons.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Bort on September 21, 2017, 01:24:16 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on September 21, 2017, 01:06:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:48:26 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.

Get this negativity the fuck out of the Kris Bryant thread. Why aren't you appreciating him more, you jerk? This is the thread where we appreciate him, not jinx him by bringing up failures. Someone should have told you.

Kris Bryant is what Grady Sizemore should have been. If he played 3rd. And was made of steel.

Troy Glaus had a 15.4 WAR his 23-25 age seasons.

Of all the Pens Foe on this site, you are the Pennest Foe.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on September 21, 2017, 10:43:38 PM
Please, take your children to see Kris Bryant play. You cannot appreciate him enough.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 11:20:23 PM
MVP
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on September 22, 2017, 12:03:41 AM
Quote from: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever.

Intrepid Reader: Ken Harrelson

Frazier's still better.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: World's #1 Astros Fan on September 22, 2017, 12:43:29 AM
Quote from: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever. Houston

Appel'd
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2017, 08:11:24 AM
Quote from: Huey Potatohead on September 22, 2017, 12:43:29 AM
Quote from: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever. Houston

Appel'd

It's pretty funny how many all-time great Chicago athletes only came here because somebody else fucked up their draft ahead of them.

(pours some out for Mark Appel, Sam Bowie and Erik Johnson)
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Brownie on September 22, 2017, 08:51:15 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2017, 08:11:24 AM
Quote from: Huey Potatohead on September 22, 2017, 12:43:29 AM
Quote from: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever. Houston

Appel'd

It's pretty funny how many all-time great Chicago athletes only came here because somebody else fucked up their draft ahead of them.

(pours some out for Mark Appel, Sam Bowie and Erik Johnson)

Unless it's a No. 1 pick, doesn't that pretty much apply to every player?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2017, 08:54:32 AM
Quote from: Brownie on September 22, 2017, 08:51:15 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2017, 08:11:24 AM
Quote from: Huey Potatohead on September 22, 2017, 12:43:29 AM
Quote from: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever. Houston

Appel'd

It's pretty funny how many all-time great Chicago athletes only came here because somebody else fucked up their draft ahead of them.

(pours some out for Mark Appel, Sam Bowie and Erik Johnson)

Unless it's a No. 1 pick, doesn't that pretty much apply to every player?

When the Bulls got Jordan, the Rockets got Olajuwon , who was also a Hall of Famer, ahead of Jordan. Not exactly a fuckup.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on September 22, 2017, 10:03:07 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2017, 08:54:32 AM
Quote from: Brownie on September 22, 2017, 08:51:15 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on September 22, 2017, 08:11:24 AM
Quote from: Huey Potatohead on September 22, 2017, 12:43:29 AM
Quote from: pisomojado8 on September 21, 2017, 11:07:42 PM
Good choice, Jim. Jed, whoever. Houston

Appel'd

It's pretty funny how many all-time great Chicago athletes only came here because somebody else fucked up their draft ahead of them.

(pours some out for Mark Appel, Sam Bowie and Erik Johnson)

Unless it's a No. 1 pick, doesn't that pretty much apply to every player?

When the Bulls got Jordan, the Rockets got Olajuwon , who was also a Hall of Famer, ahead of Jordan. Not exactly a fuckup.

THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE: SAAAAAAM BOWWWWWIEEEEE!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Eli on September 22, 2017, 12:58:17 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on September 21, 2017, 01:06:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:48:26 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.

Get this negativity the fuck out of the Kris Bryant thread. Why aren't you appreciating him more, you jerk? This is the thread where we appreciate him, not jinx him by bringing up failures. Someone should have told you.

Kris Bryant is what Grady Sizemore should have been. If he played 3rd. And was made of steel.

Troy Glaus had a 15.4 WAR his 23-25 age seasons.

That's pretty damn impressive!
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Tonker on September 22, 2017, 01:01:38 PM
Quote from: Bort on September 21, 2017, 01:24:16 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on September 21, 2017, 01:06:10 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:48:26 PM
Quote from: Saul Goodman on September 21, 2017, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: SKO on September 21, 2017, 12:34:44 PM
DPD but man what a damn shame Grady Sizemore's career was. Averaged 6.2 bWAR in his four full seasons through age 25, then played just 419 more games the rest of his career.

Get this negativity the fuck out of the Kris Bryant thread. Why aren't you appreciating him more, you jerk? This is the thread where we appreciate him, not jinx him by bringing up failures. Someone should have told you.

Kris Bryant is what Grady Sizemore should have been. If he played 3rd. And was made of steel.

Troy Glaus had a 15.4 WAR his 23-25 age seasons.

Of all the Pens Foe on this site, you are the Pennest Foe.

I heartily positive this exchange.  Well done to all concerned.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on April 16, 2018, 10:21:36 AM
This dude is so quietly and calmly excellent every day that we almost never even bump this thread, and he's second only to Harper in the NL in wRC+ this year (199) despite him hitting only 2 homers to Harper's 7. A dude that was supposed to be a Three True Outcomes Slugger is now a legit triple crown threat who doesn't rely on homers for his value.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2018, 08:18:42 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2018, 10:21:36 AM
This dude is so quietly and calmly excellent every day that we almost never even bump this thread, and he's second only to Harper in the NL in wRC+ this year (199) despite him hitting only 2 homers to Harper's 7. A dude that was supposed to be a Three True Outcomes Slugger is now a legit triple crown threat who doesn't rely on homers for his value.

Except nobody cares about RBI or batting average any more.

Nice choice, Jim.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Yeti on April 17, 2018, 05:06:00 PM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2018, 10:21:36 AM
This dude is so quietly and calmly excellent every day that we almost never even bump this thread, and he's second only to Harper in the NL in wRC+ this year (199) despite him hitting only 2 homers to Harper's 7. A dude that was supposed to be a Three True Outcomes Slugger is now a legit triple crown threat who doesn't rely on homers for his value.

I'm going to call bullshit on the Triple Crown threat. His hit profile has surpassed that of Scott Rolen, but he hasn't finished a season over .300 and had 73 RBI last year. I'd think he'd need a season or two of .320 BA and multiple seasons of 110-120+ RBI for him to be considered a guy who would lead those categories.

More importantly, those categories are garbage and he's a stud hitter.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: CBStew on April 17, 2018, 08:22:06 PM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on April 17, 2018, 08:18:42 AM
Quote from: SKO on April 16, 2018, 10:21:36 AM
This dude is so quietly and calmly excellent every day that we almost never even bump this thread, and he's second only to Harper in the NL in wRC+ this year (199) despite him hitting only 2 homers to Harper's 7. A dude that was supposed to be a Three True Outcomes Slugger is now a legit triple crown threat who doesn't rely on homers for his value.

Except nobody cares about RBI or batting average any more.

Nice choice, Jim.
At first glance I saw  "Except nobody cares about FBI..."  I was about to comment, but my eyes refocused.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on May 09, 2018, 01:36:17 PM
"Fuck you, but very respectfully; I mean no offense, and I hope we can still be friends off the field." - Kris Bryant to MLB pitchers
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 07, 2018, 08:10:59 AM
Stealing second, then taking third because the shift for Rizzo left the bag uncovered.

He is just so fucking good at everything.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: SKO on June 07, 2018, 09:13:40 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on June 07, 2018, 08:10:59 AM
Stealing second, then taking third because the shift for Rizzo left the bag uncovered.

He is just so fucking good at everything.

He's currently stuck in one of the longest homerless streaks of his career, 18 games. It has lowered his OPS to a pathetic...uhhh... .918. He's so fucking good that's the floor.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: PenFoe on June 07, 2018, 11:11:43 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 07, 2018, 09:13:40 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on June 07, 2018, 08:10:59 AM
Stealing second, then taking third because the shift for Rizzo left the bag uncovered.

He is just so fucking good at everything.

He's currently stuck in one of the longest homerless streaks of his career, 18 games. It has lowered his OPS to a pathetic...uhhh... .918. He's so fucking good that's the floor.

Troy Glaus only had one full season over .918 in his entire career.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on June 07, 2018, 02:37:29 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on June 07, 2018, 11:11:43 AM
Quote from: SKO on June 07, 2018, 09:13:40 AM
Quote from: Quality Start Machine on June 07, 2018, 08:10:59 AM
Stealing second, then taking third because the shift for Rizzo left the bag uncovered.

He is just so fucking good at everything.

He's currently stuck in one of the longest homerless streaks of his career, 18 games. It has lowered his OPS to a pathetic...uhhh... .918. He's so fucking good that's the floor.

Troy Glaus only had one full season over .918 in his entire career.

Yeah, but maybe that year it was 3.000 - you ever think of that?
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Saul Goodman on July 11, 2018, 04:08:50 PM
He's baaaaaaaaaack
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on August 12, 2018, 03:12:30 PM
He's dead.
Title: Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
Post by: Quality Start Machine on September 18, 2018, 08:28:05 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on August 12, 2018, 03:12:30 PM
He's dead.

bump for Zombie Bryant not only homering, but the rare oppo.