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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower on: July 27, 2017, 10:30:14 PM

Our large adult son is coming home.

He went to Iowa, grew some facial hair, and came back as Edgy Kyle Schwarber.

He probably wears a Disturbed shirt under his jersey now.

Our sweet mashing boy is growing up.
Bump

Is he fixed yet? Asking for a friend.

Let's wait until he faces better competition than the Trash Sox, but ........... maybe.
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower on: July 27, 2017, 08:08:11 PM

Our large adult son is coming home.

He went to Iowa, grew some facial hair, and came back as Edgy Kyle Schwarber.

He probably wears a Disturbed shirt under his jersey now.

Our sweet mashing boy is growing up.
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower on: July 27, 2017, 01:35:26 AM

Our large adult son is coming home.

He went to Iowa, grew some facial hair, and came back as Edgy Kyle Schwarber.
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno on: July 26, 2017, 11:16:43 PM
Chuck has been owned online.

I've come around to Verlander too. Candelario is never getting any time to play unless Kris Bryant dies in a Red Bull stunt gone horribly wrong. I'd rather see what Verlander has left than watch Lackey reliably suck, too.

All bets are off if they can land a Sonny Gray or even a Yu Darvish but that's looking extremely unlikely.

Yeah in my mind they aren't acquiring Verlander to be Justin VerlanderTM they are acquiring him to be a better version of John Lackey. I would still hope they'd go out in the offseason and chase a guy like Darvish, but with the prospects they have left Verlander might bet he best guy left that can help this year and also hold down a spot next year.

I'm sorry, but are you guys soberly discussing dealing Candelario to replace a 5th starter with 10 more starts this year who wouldn't even project to be in the playoff  rotation?  Am I missing something here?  I'm not even that attached to Candelario and I have my doubts that he's anything more than AAAA but you still don't just throw a guy like that away, which is what you'd be doing for 10 Verlander starts to ensure a division that would be won with Lackey--unless you're talking about Verlander replacing Arrieta which, okay if it's worth it I guess go ahead but otherwise I think your collective hatred of Lackey is really driving some of you guys to Stupidville.

Verlander is under control for more than just this year, IDITO. He's signed through 2019 with a 2020 vesting option.

He's a replacement for Lackey starting now through 2019 and that's probably what Candelario is worth. Not just ten starts.
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno on: July 26, 2017, 08:13:14 PM
I don't know what kind of deal Jesse Rogers has going with John Lackey, but this bizarre story arguing he should stay in the rotation is some major league bullshit toleration.

Quote
Maddon is right in one respect: The Cubs have enough in their rotation right now to win their division. That includes John Lackey, who won his seventh game Tuesday while lowering his ERA under 5.00 for the first time in a month. You can view his four hit batters on Tuesday -- three of which came in one inning -- as a negative, but he gave up only two runs over five innings. Heíll take the positives in that.

He made that pitch to Tim Anderson in the fifth inning, inducing a groundout to strand all three runners. Sure, Lackey is the first Cub to hit four batters in a game since 1957. But whatís the difference if none of them scored?

Lackey left after allowing the first two batters on base in the sixth, but his pitching line was saved when reliever Carl Edwards Jr. escaped the jam unscathed. And thatís the bottom line with Lackey right now: It isn't going to be pretty, but he can still get the job done as the No. 5 pitcher in the rotation.

How his conclusion is "gee, John sure can get it done!" instead of "damn, John sure is lucky Carl Edwards saved his ass" is beyond me. Plus, if Tim Anderson wasn't such a slapdick John easily could have given up 8 runs today. I'll save two spots in the firebarn so Jesse can join his buddy.

Does Jesse not realize the White Sox fucking suck? He gave up two hits and a walk to Omar Narvaez and his .664 OPS, gave up a hit to Anderson (.630), and a fucking scorched doubled by Carlos Rodon. Any team with an actual major league offense probably puts up 5-6 runs on him there.

Any chance someone can push him in front of a speeding garbage truck before he has to face Milwaukee Sunday?

I am currently holding out hope that Justin Verlander makes that start instead. I know people are hesitant about that contract but it's just 2 years unless he's top 5 in Cy voting in 2019 (in which case you'd probably be happy to take a 22 million dollar option on him for 2020 especially since the qualifying offer will be about that much by then) and with Quintana being so cheap Verlander/Quintana next year would make about 37 mil while the Lackey/Arrieta combo was already making 31 mil this year. Verlander could be a big upgrade at #5 that would presumably not really hamper their long term plans for any FA starters either.

Verlander would give the Cubs a rotation that is under control for two more years. By then they should be able to start looking to the farm for replacements.

Lackey for Verlander straight up.

I'm hoping for more Verlander+Avila for Candelario and the AAAA guys, some lotto tickets in the lower minors, and the Cubs eating a fuck ton of cash and shooting Lackey into the sun.

I think the more likely scenario is Candelario to the Mets for Rivera and Lackey being left off the postseason roster. But I do think Verlander could be useful to the Cubs.

Candelario is hardly a top prospect and he's not a headliner of a big deal but I would also hope he's worth more than a replacement level backup catcher.

Candelario for all of Verlander's contract net of Lackey's DFA cost.

And Kate.

You don't think she's too fat?

She's only 25% of a Hendricks.

Boooooo. Chuck Trump, everyone.
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Firebarn Brett Anderson, Probably on: July 26, 2017, 02:42:17 PM
Today the Cubs activated Brown Spot Brett from the disabled list.

Today the Cubs also designated Brown Spot Brett for assignment.

Sounds about right.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno on: July 26, 2017, 02:27:55 PM
I don't know what kind of deal Jesse Rogers has going with John Lackey, but this bizarre story arguing he should stay in the rotation is some major league bullshit toleration.

Quote
Maddon is right in one respect: The Cubs have enough in their rotation right now to win their division. That includes John Lackey, who won his seventh game Tuesday while lowering his ERA under 5.00 for the first time in a month. You can view his four hit batters on Tuesday -- three of which came in one inning -- as a negative, but he gave up only two runs over five innings. Heíll take the positives in that.

He made that pitch to Tim Anderson in the fifth inning, inducing a groundout to strand all three runners. Sure, Lackey is the first Cub to hit four batters in a game since 1957. But whatís the difference if none of them scored?

Lackey left after allowing the first two batters on base in the sixth, but his pitching line was saved when reliever Carl Edwards Jr. escaped the jam unscathed. And thatís the bottom line with Lackey right now: It isn't going to be pretty, but he can still get the job done as the No. 5 pitcher in the rotation.

How his conclusion is "gee, John sure can get it done!" instead of "damn, John sure is lucky Carl Edwards saved his ass" is beyond me. Plus, if Tim Anderson wasn't such a slapdick John easily could have given up 8 runs today. I'll save two spots in the firebarn so Jesse can join his buddy.

Does Jesse not realize the White Sox fucking suck? He gave up two hits and a walk to Omar Narvaez and his .664 OPS, gave up a hit to Anderson (.630), and a fucking scorched doubled by Carlos Rodon. Any team with an actual major league offense probably puts up 5-6 runs on him there.

Any chance someone can push him in front of a speeding garbage truck before he has to face Milwaukee Sunday?

I am currently holding out hope that Justin Verlander makes that start instead. I know people are hesitant about that contract but it's just 2 years unless he's top 5 in Cy voting in 2019 (in which case you'd probably be happy to take a 22 million dollar option on him for 2020 especially since the qualifying offer will be about that much by then) and with Quintana being so cheap Verlander/Quintana next year would make about 37 mil while the Lackey/Arrieta combo was already making 31 mil this year. Verlander could be a big upgrade at #5 that would presumably not really hamper their long term plans for any FA starters either.

Verlander would give the Cubs a rotation that is under control for two more years. By then they should be able to start looking to the farm for replacements.

Lackey for Verlander straight up.

I'm hoping for more Verlander+Avila for Candelario and the AAAA guys, some lotto tickets in the lower minors, and the Cubs eating a fuck ton of cash and shooting Lackey into the sun.

I think the more likely scenario is Candelario to the Mets for Rivera and Lackey being left off the postseason roster. But I do think Verlander could be useful to the Cubs.

Candelario is hardly a top prospect and he's not a headliner of a big deal but I would also hope he's worth more than a replacement level backup catcher.

Candelario for all of Verlander's contract net of Lackey's DFA cost.

And Kate.

You don't think she's too fat?

Chuck has been owned online.

I've come around to Verlander too. Candelario is never getting any time to play unless Kris Bryant dies in a Red Bull stunt gone horribly wrong. I'd rather see what Verlander has left than watch Lackey reliably suck, too.

All bets are off if they can land a Sonny Gray or even a Yu Darvish but that's looking extremely unlikely.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno on: July 26, 2017, 01:26:28 AM
I don't know what kind of deal Jesse Rogers has going with John Lackey, but this bizarre story arguing he should stay in the rotation is some major league bullshit toleration.

Quote
Maddon is right in one respect: The Cubs have enough in their rotation right now to win their division. That includes John Lackey, who won his seventh game Tuesday while lowering his ERA under 5.00 for the first time in a month. You can view his four hit batters on Tuesday -- three of which came in one inning -- as a negative, but he gave up only two runs over five innings. Heíll take the positives in that.

He made that pitch to Tim Anderson in the fifth inning, inducing a groundout to strand all three runners. Sure, Lackey is the first Cub to hit four batters in a game since 1957. But whatís the difference if none of them scored?

Lackey left after allowing the first two batters on base in the sixth, but his pitching line was saved when reliever Carl Edwards Jr. escaped the jam unscathed. And thatís the bottom line with Lackey right now: It isn't going to be pretty, but he can still get the job done as the No. 5 pitcher in the rotation.

How his conclusion is "gee, John sure can get it done!" instead of "damn, John sure is lucky Carl Edwards saved his ass" is beyond me. Plus, if Tim Anderson wasn't such a slapdick John easily could have given up 8 runs today. I'll save two spots in the firebarn so Jesse can join his buddy.
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno on: July 25, 2017, 06:57:39 PM
He should be forced to pitch in a barbed-wire jockstrap.

Joe should have PH for him with RISP in the 5th and Lackey clearly having completely lost his command and being at 80 pitches and also being old and shitty. We'll see how this works out

Poorly. it worked out fucking poorly. I like Joe but he's got to get over this herp-derp Lackey has veteran gumption nonsense. He should have a shorter leash than Jason Hammel ever got.

Fucking THIS. And I'm pretty sure Jason Hammel just felt chills, wherever he is.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno on: July 25, 2017, 01:55:45 PM
"Yes, hello, Firebarn Industrial Supply? Do you offer volume discounts?"
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: This. Fucking. Bullpen. on: July 24, 2017, 11:26:34 PM
Kurt: Wouldn't this hypothetical deal be great?
Also Kurt: I don't waste brain cells on hypotheticals.
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle Hendricks Low Velocity Assassin Splooge Thread on: July 24, 2017, 02:54:00 PM
I'm glad he's back and the movement looks good but hitting only 83/84 is no bueno. Let's hope he shakes off the rust. He'd managed to get up to around 87-88 before he went on the DL.

Fortunately it's another minor league start.

Don't worry, Justin Grimm is here to throw some kerosene on that smoke.
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Willson Contreras Catches Our Hearts Appreciation Thread on: July 24, 2017, 12:13:39 PM
I love me some Cone-treras. He's been red hot since the break. I hope Joe works Caratini in a little more though, just to make sure Willson stays fresh for September (if necessary) and October.

I'd think Caratini will be getting his reps west of the Mississippi as soon as Jepstink land either Avila or Lucroy.

Really hope it's Avila because Lucroy has been trash.
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Willson Contreras Catches Our Hearts Appreciation Thread on: July 24, 2017, 10:26:48 AM
I love me some Cone-treras. He's been red hot since the break. I hope Joe works Caratini in a little more though, just to make sure Willson stays fresh for September (if necessary) and October.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse on: July 24, 2017, 02:42:22 AM
Scrub-ass Randal Grichuk can go straight to hell.
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