Score some fucking runs thread

[SKO]

Coghlan batting second today, Denorfia in RF for Soler.

Pretty sure this thread is gettin' a bumpin' later.

Why in God's name would you decide Soler's day off is today? He's finally warming back up? They had a day off on Thursday and it's a night game after a day game. This makes no sense.

Martinez's two best pitches are his slider and changeup. That's not a good matchup for Jorge right now. Add that in to the first game of a big series where he might be a bit overeager and it makes sense to me.

Complaint withdrawn.

[Quality Start Machine]

What the hell ever happened to La Stella? ....

Hasn't gotten his groove back.

You were all expecting me to do this one, weren't you?

[Slaky]

Coghlan batting second today, Denorfia in RF for Soler.

Pretty sure this thread is gettin' a bumpin' later.

Why in God's name would you decide Soler's day off is today? He's finally warming back up? They had a day off on Thursday and it's a night game after a day game. This makes no sense.

Martinez's two best pitches are his slider and changeup. That's not a good matchup for Jorge right now. Add that in to the first game of a big series where he might be a bit overeager and it makes sense to me.

I've got no issue with this. All it means is Denorfia will probably end up hitting a homer.

[Eli]

Coghlan batting second today, Denorfia in RF for Soler.

Pretty sure this thread is gettin' a bumpin' later.

Why in God's name would you decide Soler's day off is today? He's finally warming back up? They had a day off on Thursday and it's a night game after a day game. This makes no sense.

Martinez's two best pitches are his slider and changeup. That's not a good matchup for Jorge right now. Add that in to the first game of a big series where he might be a bit overeager and it makes sense to me.

I've got no issue with this. All it means is Denorfia will probably end up hitting a homer.

He's basically just death on righties in general. .599 vs. .807 R/L split for his career. I don't even think Denorfia will do better than Soler would, but he can at least go ahead and fall on the sword.

[PenFoe]

What the hell ever happened to La Stella? ....

Hasn't gotten his groove back.

You were all expecting me to do this one, weren't you?

I had to read it three times just to make sure.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Coghlan batting second today, Denorfia in RF for Soler.

Pretty sure this thread is gettin' a bumpin' later.

Why in God's name would you decide Soler's day off is today? He's finally warming back up? They had a day off on Thursday and it's a night game after a day game. This makes no sense.

Martinez's two best pitches are his slider and changeup. That's not a good matchup for Jorge right now. Add that in to the first game of a big series where he might be a bit overeager and it makes sense to me.

I've got no issue with this. All it means is Denorfia will probably end up hitting a homer.

He's basically just death on righties in general. .599 vs. .807 R/L split for his career.

Time for Chris Coghlan to deliver a big ole' can of STFU to half of us...

[CT III]

I'm actually still waiting for my FORK APPROVED list of players to hate on the 2015 Cubs.

So far we've ruled out Coghlan (what did you expect?), Ross (not his fault he's on the roster chap), and Schlitter (looks too much like Slaky or something).

Does that just leave Edwin Jackson or what?

Edwin Jackson has actually been good so far.

I definitely hated Brian Schlitter the most so far this season. But he's in Iowa.

Perhaps the Cubs don't have any hateable players at the moment. That's a possibility you might want to consider.

Unless they were sitting at 23-0, this is never, ever right.

I'm sorry man, your attempts at generating a consensus PLAYERHATE just smack too much of effort for me to get on board.  What would Bort say if he was still alive?

[PenFoe]

I'm actually still waiting for my FORK APPROVED list of players to hate on the 2015 Cubs.

So far we've ruled out Coghlan (what did you expect?), Ross (not his fault he's on the roster chap), and Schlitter (looks too much like Slaky or something).

Does that just leave Edwin Jackson or what?

Edwin Jackson has actually been good so far.

I definitely hated Brian Schlitter the most so far this season. But he's in Iowa.

Perhaps the Cubs don't have any hateable players at the moment. That's a possibility you might want to consider.

Unless they were sitting at 23-0, this is never, ever right.

I'm sorry man, your attempts at generating a consensus PLAYERHATE just smack too much of effort for me to get on board.  What would Bort say if he was still alive?

Hold on, we can definitely hate:

Edwin Jackson (I'm outraged that anyone would disagree with this because of a 9 inning sample size.)
David Ross
Brian Schlitter
Jonathan Herrera
Tommy LaStella (a month with a strained oblique and still no signs of coming back? Get it together, fucko.)
Gonzalez German
Phil Coke

[R-V]

Coghlan batting second today, Denorfia in RF for Soler.

Pretty sure this thread is gettin' a bumpin' later.

Why in God's name would you decide Soler's day off is today? He's finally warming back up? They had a day off on Thursday and it's a night game after a day game. This makes no sense.

Martinez's two best pitches are his slider and changeup. That's not a good matchup for Jorge right now. Add that in to the first game of a big series where he might be a bit overeager and it makes sense to me.

I've got no issue with this. All it means is Denorfia will probably end up hitting a homer.

He's basically just death on righties in general. .599 vs. .807 R/L split for his career. I don't even think Denorfia will do better than Soler would, but he can at least go ahead and fall on the sword.

I have been wondering if/when Soler would get an off day, considering how conservatively they managed his playing time last year after That Whole Hamstring Thing.

[InternetApex]

I'd start a firebarn for Phil Coke Meth.

Not good enough to be called Coke.

[Bort]

I'm actually still waiting for my FORK APPROVED list of players to hate on the 2015 Cubs.

So far we've ruled out Coghlan (what did you expect?), Ross (not his fault he's on the roster chap), and Schlitter (looks too much like Slaky or something).

Does that just leave Edwin Jackson or what?

Edwin Jackson has actually been good so far.

I definitely hated Brian Schlitter the most so far this season. But he's in Iowa.

Perhaps the Cubs don't have any hateable players at the moment. That's a possibility you might want to consider.

Unless they were sitting at 23-0, this is never, ever right.

I'm sorry man, your attempts at generating a consensus PLAYERHATE just smack too much of effort for me to get on board.  What would Bort say if he was still alive?

Something along these lines:

[Quality Start Machine]

I'm actually still waiting for my FORK APPROVED list of players to hate on the 2015 Cubs.

So far we've ruled out Coghlan (what did you expect?), Ross (not his fault he's on the roster chap), and Schlitter (looks too much like Slaky or something).

Does that just leave Edwin Jackson or what?

Edwin Jackson has actually been good so far.

I definitely hated Brian Schlitter the most so far this season. But he's in Iowa.

Perhaps the Cubs don't have any hateable players at the moment. That's a possibility you might want to consider.

Unless they were sitting at 23-0, this is never, ever right.

I'm sorry man, your attempts at generating a consensus PLAYERHATE just smack too much of effort for me to get on board.  What would Bort say if he was still alive?

Something along these lines:

I snorted on the train. Thanks for that.

[Eli]

Something along these lines:

Excellent. I think we have a logo for the messageboard, after all this time.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I'm actually still waiting for my FORK APPROVED list of players to hate on the 2015 Cubs.

So far we've ruled out Coghlan (what did you expect?), Ross (not his fault he's on the roster chap), and Schlitter (looks too much like Slaky or something).

Does that just leave Edwin Jackson or what?

Outside of the 1 high-leverage situation in which he shit the tub, EJax has been able to eat some mop-up innings, so there's that.

Also Schlitter's not on the big-league club so take him off the list.

Not sure if there's anybody else we can hate besides Coghlan and Ross.  I'm so confused right now.

BTW I somehow managed to overlook Junior Lake yesterday but after watching him since his most recent callup I'm going to go ahead and take him of my HATE list.  He hit two more balls hard yesterday but nothing to show for it.  He and MACK SEIZURE may be able to solidify some OF depth with their middling prospect ways.

[InternetApex]

I'm actually still waiting for my FORK APPROVED list of players to hate on the 2015 Cubs.

So far we've ruled out Coghlan (what did you expect?), Ross (not his fault he's on the roster chap), and Schlitter (looks too much like Slaky or something).

Does that just leave Edwin Jackson or what?

Outside of the 1 high-leverage situation in which he shit the tub, EJax has been able to eat some mop-up innings, so there's that.

Also Schlitter's not on the big-league club so take him off the list.

Not sure if there's anybody else we can hate besides Coghlan and Ross.  I'm so confused right now.

BTW I somehow managed to overlook Junior Lake yesterday but after watching him since his most recent callup I'm going to go ahead and take him of my HATE list.  He hit two more balls hard yesterday but nothing to show for it.  He and MACK SEIZURE may be able to solidify some OF depth with their middling prospect ways.

That dive into first base didn't do anything for ya?