Author Topic: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason  (Read 16625 times)

Internet Apex

  • SSM's Resident Octagonacologist
  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 9128
  • Ape X
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #135 on: February 15, 2012, 09:59:03 AM »
Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?

Can he rake the infield with his front teeth?
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

thehawk

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 2610
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #136 on: February 15, 2012, 10:50:45 AM »
Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?

Can he rake the infield with his front teeth?

Does he like gumbo?
Andre Dawson paid his $1,000 fine for the Joe West incident with style. Dawson wrote ``Donation for the blind`` in the memo section of his personal check.

CBStew

  • Most people my age are dead.
  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3780
    • View Profile
    • work
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #137 on: February 15, 2012, 12:00:07 PM »
Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?

Can he rake the infield with his front teeth?

Does he like gumbo?

That's five.
If I had known that I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.   (Plagerized from numerous other folks)

Internet Apex

  • SSM's Resident Octagonacologist
  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 9128
  • Ape X
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #138 on: February 15, 2012, 02:34:17 PM »
Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?

Can he rake the infield with his front teeth?

Does he like gumbo?

That's five.

nice choice jim
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

morpheus

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 2513
  • Sad.
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #139 on: February 16, 2012, 07:39:19 AM »
Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?

LEAVE OLEG OUT OF THIS!
I don't get that KurtEvans photoshop.

morpheus

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 2513
  • Sad.
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #140 on: February 17, 2012, 08:13:42 AM »
DPD.  Looks like Kerm's good friend PAUL SULLIVAN has consulted Internet Chuck's datase before writing his preview of this season.

Quote
"Wait until the year after the year after next year" might not be the T-shirt-ready slogan the Cubs prefer, but it fits the current roster to a T.

His next piece is tentatively titled "Why Alfonso Soriano is literally worse than Hitler clubbing baby seals."
I don't get that KurtEvans photoshop.

Tonker

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4937
  • SUCCESSFUL MESSIAH
    • View Profile
    • Hire Jim Essian
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.


BH

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3344
  • Hockeenight HR Dept, TJG Assistant Editor
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #143 on: February 23, 2012, 08:03:19 AM »
Commit2theCub is asking the question everyone else is afraid to ask- would YOU trade Matt Garza for the #1 prospect in baseball, Bryce Harper?
Cub fans are awesome, have fun Theo.

Eli

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 6048
  • Sad Rose, Part III
    • View Profile
    • My Site
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #144 on: February 23, 2012, 08:08:09 AM »
Commit2theCub is asking the question everyone else is afraid to ask- would YOU trade Matt Garza for the #1 prospect in baseball, Bryce Harper?
Cub fans are awesome, have fun Theo.

Quote
Trying to think way outside the box, I'm a huge fan of Garza and ideally want him to stay but I also understand his trade value. If the Nationals would make such a move it would mean they're serious about winning now.

I love this so much.

Trying to think way outside the box, would you trade $50 for $5,000?  I'm a huge fan of $50, but I also understand its value.

CT III

  • Administrator
  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3820
  • Killer of men.
    • View Profile
    • Hockeenight
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #145 on: February 23, 2012, 08:37:03 AM »
Commit2theCub is asking the question everyone else is afraid to ask- would YOU trade Matt Garza for the #1 prospect in baseball, Bryce Harper?
Cub fans are awesome, have fun Theo.

Oh sure, NOW you drop the "we".

BH

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3344
  • Hockeenight HR Dept, TJG Assistant Editor
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #146 on: February 23, 2012, 09:02:46 AM »
Commit2theCub is asking the question everyone else is afraid to ask- would YOU trade Matt Garza for the #1 prospect in baseball, Bryce Harper?
Cub fans are awesome, have fun Theo.

Oh sure, NOW you drop the "we".

So you think Garza is too much to give up for Bryce?

CT III

  • Administrator
  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3820
  • Killer of men.
    • View Profile
    • Hockeenight
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #147 on: February 23, 2012, 09:37:54 AM »
Commit2theCub is asking the question everyone else is afraid to ask- would YOU trade Matt Garza for the #1 prospect in baseball, Bryce Harper?
Cub fans are awesome, have fun Theo.

Oh sure, NOW you drop the "we".

So you think Garza is too much to give up for Bryce?

I'd have to see where Bryce finishes in Dale Sveum's spring training buntathon first.

Slaky

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7883
    • View Profile
    • Slak's Index
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #148 on: February 23, 2012, 10:29:19 AM »
It's going to be fun watching this team scratch out 1.3 runs per game this summer.

Brownie

  • Johnny Evers Fan Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3231
  • The manager Chuck thinks we need.
    • View Profile
Re: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason
« Reply #149 on: February 23, 2012, 11:14:58 AM »
Commit2theCub is asking the question everyone else is afraid to ask- would YOU trade Matt Garza for the #1 prospect in baseball, Bryce Harper?
Cub fans are awesome, have fun Theo.

Oh sure, NOW you drop the "we".

So you think Garza is too much to give up for Bryce?

Goddamn Ricketts. If he hired a real GM like Rick Hahn or Brian Cashman, they'd have traded Blake DeWitt to Washington for Bryce Harper.