The Anthony Rizzo DongFest Thread

[Quality Start Machine]

Never seen so much hoopla over a guy playing his 50th MLB game.

[Internet Apex]

Never seen so much hoopla over a guy playing his 50th MLB game.

He's gonna be awesome.

[Quality Start Machine]

Never seen so much hoopla over a guy playing his 50th MLB game.

He's gonna be awesome.

DEY GAVE HIM PHILIBUCK'S OLD NUMBER 44! HE'S GONNA GET DA CUBBIEZ TO THE WORLD SERIOUS!!!

[Internet Apex]

Never seen so much hoopla over a guy playing his 50th MLB game.

He's gonna be awesome.

DEY GAVE HIM PHILIBUCK'S OLD NUMBER 44! HE'S GONNA GET DA CUBBIEZ TO THE WORLD SERIOUS!!!

No seriously. He's the best left-handed hitting 1B they've had since Fred McGriff.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

The Dongfest Thread.

Whither LaHair?

Done.

Maybe RF in 2013?  LF?  Nowhere in sight by 2014, methinks.

Don't count your first basemen before they are hatched grow on trees every spring.

[Like]

This is going to be such a let down.

Why? Is this another case of measuring someone's performance against the Dipshit Cubs Fan Expectations Baseline instead of your own baseline?

I'm starting to worry about Slaky.

I'm worried about everyone else. Maybe that's my problem.

Goddamn it Marie.

[Like]

[Brownie]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

[Internet Apex]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

Carlos Zambrano has.

*Highfives TJ*

[BBM]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

[Eli]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

I tell you what, it doesn't matter how many times I see this all-caps Chicago accent, I will never not think it's not funny.

[Internet Apex]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

I tell you what, it doesn't matter how many times I see this all-caps Chicago accent, I will never not think it's not funny.

That because you probably really talk like that.

[CT III]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

I tell you what, it doesn't matter how many times I see this all-caps Chicago accent, I will never not think it's not funny.

Well, it is a local thing.  I guess it doesn't play in the sticks.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

I tell you what, it doesn't matter how many times I see this all-caps Chicago accent, I will never not think it's not funny.

Well, it is a local thing.  I guess it doesn't play in the sticks.

Or does it not never not play?

[Bort]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

I tell you what, it doesn't matter how many times I see this all-caps Chicago accent, I will never not think it's not funny.

Well, it is a local thing.  I guess it doesn't play in the sticks.

He's happy with his Dancing Homers.

[Eli]

But has Rizzo ever thrown 6 no-hit innings against Houston?

Epstink is terrible.

DAT RIZZOT GUY DIDN'T EVEN GET  HIT YESTERDAY.  RIGHT DAT WRONG EPSTINK.

I tell you what, it doesn't matter how many times I see this all-caps Chicago accent, I will never not think it's not funny.

Well, it is a local thing.  I guess it doesn't play in the sticks.

I'm not sure what you mean.

[Saul Goodman]

He gonna suck

Bumped for a two-run FYY