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Author Topic: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie  ( 4,375 )

Wheezer

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Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« on: November 26, 2012, 10:18:09 PM »
This give-me-your-marketing-information bastard is now mincing and prancing about "low and slow" omelet cooking on Milt Rosenberg. He forgets to fold it. Seriously, fuck you, Kimball. It doesn't take long to figure out if you actually engage in the task. Oh, and your butterflied turkey cooked atop stuffing was fucking atrocious.

[Edit.--Oh, fucking hell, now he's suggesting that an "easier" method for the "home cook" to roast a chicken is to brine it (and perhaps butterfly, to simplify things further).]

[Edit 2.--No, you pig-eyed sack of shit, "roasting" does not demand a spit and open flame.]
"The brain growth deficit controls reality hence [G-d] rules the world.... These mathematical results by the way, are all experimentally confirmed to 2-decimal point accuracy by modern Psychometry data."--George Hammond, Gμν!!

Tonker

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM »
I've brined chicken before.  It sure as fucking hell doesn't make it "easier" and in my opinion doesn't even improve the quality of the final product if you know what you're doing with an oven.  I have no idea who Christopher Kimball is, but he sounds like a right cunt.
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Quality Start Machine

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2012, 08:04:59 AM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM
I've brined chicken before.  It sure as fucking hell doesn't make it "easier" and in my opinion doesn't even improve the quality of the final product if you know what you're doing with an oven.  I have no idea who Christopher Kimball is, but he sounds like a right cunt.

He's a bellend.
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J. Walter Weatherman

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2012, 08:39:47 AM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM
I have no idea who Christopher Kimball is, but he sounds like a right cunt.

NEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRD!
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Wheezer

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2012, 10:00:26 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM
I've brined chicken before.  It sure as fucking hell doesn't make it "easier"

That's because you forgot to cut out the backbone with kitchen shears first, which streamlines the process.
"The brain growth deficit controls reality hence [G-d] rules the world.... These mathematical results by the way, are all experimentally confirmed to 2-decimal point accuracy by modern Psychometry data."--George Hammond, Gμν!!

Tonker

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2012, 01:37:53 AM »
Quote from: Wheezer on November 27, 2012, 10:00:26 PM
Quote from: Tonker on November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM
I've brined chicken before.  It sure as fucking hell doesn't make it "easier"

That's because you forgot to cut out the backbone with kitchen shears first, which streamlines the process.


You were there, were you?
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CBStew

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2012, 12:31:59 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM
I've brined chicken before.  It sure as fucking hell doesn't make it "easier" and in my opinion doesn't even improve the quality of the final product if you know what you're doing with an oven.  I have no idea who Christopher Kimball is, but he sounds like a right cunt.

We usually brine our turkey for a day or two (if we remember).  Then we barbecue it on the Webber.  We think that it improves the flavor and certainly the moisture.  (Even on those occasions when I set it on fire.)
If I had known that I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.   (Plagerized from numerous other folks)

Wheezer

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Re: Christopher Kimball should be garroted with his bowtie
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2012, 08:37:46 PM »
Quote from: CBStew on December 06, 2012, 12:31:59 PM
Quote from: Tonker on November 27, 2012, 04:59:37 AM
I've brined chicken before.  It sure as fucking hell doesn't make it "easier" and in my opinion doesn't even improve the quality of the final product if you know what you're doing with an oven.  I have no idea who Christopher Kimball is, but he sounds like a right cunt.

We usually brine our turkey for a day or two (if we remember).  Then we barbecue it on the Webber.  We think that it improves the flavor and certainly the moisture.  (Even on those occasions when I set it on fire.)

Kimball will be happy to inform you that a kosher bird achieves the same effect as brining. Frankly, though, I no longer trust shochets.
"The brain growth deficit controls reality hence [G-d] rules the world.... These mathematical results by the way, are all experimentally confirmed to 2-decimal point accuracy by modern Psychometry data."--George Hammond, Gμν!!