John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno

[SKO]

Sure let's just start off the bullshit toleration right away this year. Good work only giving up one run for every inning you pitched, John. Here's your participation trophy.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

I'm sure many starters that get shelled early would settle in and go 6 innings if their team managed to put up 9 runs for them by the 4th and the manager gave them a longer leash. If the Cubs offense wasn't a juggernaut he'd have probably been yanked earlier in an attempt to keep them somewhat in the game.

He gets no credit whatsoever for any of this, your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

I know you're being tongue and cheek but didn't he retire his final 10 batters or something like that?

[SKO]

You shitbricks stare at that picture until every last bit of bullshit toleration vanishes.

[Saul Goodman]

But he and Jon Lester are besties and if Jon can't have John and David holding his hand then he might not be good at baseball. You monsters just don't understand.

[R-V]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

I'm sure many starters that get shelled early would settle in and go 6 innings if their team managed to put up 9 runs for them by the 4th and the manager gave them a longer leash. If the Cubs offense wasn't a juggernaut he'd have probably been yanked earlier in an attempt to keep them somewhat in the game.

He gets no credit whatsoever for any of this, your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

I know you're being tongue and cheek but didn't he retire his final 10 batters or something like that?

Enough about gourmet Welsh cooking, let's get back to baseball.

[Eli]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

Given your history with Edwin Jackson, I don't want to hear another word out of you.

[R-V]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

Given your history with Edwin Jackson, I don't want to hear another word out of you.

I defend shitty middle of the rotation free agent pitchers. It's my thing. That and eating tongue with cheek gravy on it.

[Canadouche]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

Given your history with Edwin Jackson, I don't want to hear another word out of you.

I defend shitty middle of the rotation free agent pitchers. It's my thing. That and eating tongue with cheek gravy on it.

Danny Jackson will forever be grateful.

[InternetApex]

Lackey is off the juice and he sucks now. He's also a mole who came here specifically to get the Cubs outfielders hurt. Epstink is terrible.

[SKO]

My Cardinals fan boss IM'd me this morning to say "Lackey looks good, huh?" to which I responded "at least he's owed about 50 million less than Mike Leake" and then he scurried back into the shame hole he's been hiding in since Opening Day.

[Powdered Toast Man]

My Cardinals fan boss IM'd me this morning to say "Lackey looks good, huh?" to which I responded "at least he's owed about 50 million less than Mike Leake" and then he scurried back into the shame hole he's been hiding in since Opening Day.

I approve of this SKO-real-world burn.

[Capt. Over]

The best thing I have to say about John Lackey is that he is not John Danks.

[Armchair_QB]

I just have an irrational hatred of former Cardinals who sign here.

[Tonker]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

I'm sure many starters that get shelled early would settle in and go 6 innings if their team managed to put up 9 runs for them by the 4th and the manager gave them a longer leash. If the Cubs offense wasn't a juggernaut he'd have probably been yanked earlier in an attempt to keep them somewhat in the game.

He gets no credit whatsoever for any of this, your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

I know you're being tongue and cheek but didn't he retire his final 10 batters or something like that?

Enough about gourmet Welsh cooking, let's get back to baseball.

Seriously, though: if you've never eaten tongue or cheek, you've missed out.  They're fucking delicious.

[flannj]

He pitched like shit but he gave them 6 innings. Something to be said for that.

I'll duck out before you guys start tossing horseshit at me.

I'm sure many starters that get shelled early would settle in and go 6 innings if their team managed to put up 9 runs for them by the 4th and the manager gave them a longer leash. If the Cubs offense wasn't a juggernaut he'd have probably been yanked earlier in an attempt to keep them somewhat in the game.

He gets no credit whatsoever for any of this, your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

I know you're being tongue and cheek but didn't he retire his final 10 batters or something like that?

Enough about gourmet Welsh cooking, let's get back to baseball.

Seriously, though: if you've never eaten tongue or cheek, you've missed out.  They're fucking delicious.

Validated.