On Friday, the Cubs trailed 8-0 in the third inning. On Saturday, Carlos Marmol provided all of the power needed so that Carlos Quentin could hit a check swing, opposite field homer to give the Sox the lead. Last night, the Cubs ran the bases like kindergärtners. Ugh.
The team’s best player spent the weekend hitting like Steve Buchele with a bald spot and a tan, and now he’s flying to the Dominican for family reasons and will miss the first three games of the series that starts tonight in San Francisco.
But let’s be serious, does anybody really expect to see E-ramis in San Francisco on Thursday for a late afternoon game? Flying from the Dominican to San Francisco includes four time zones, two planes, a rickshaw and a yak. He’ll just drop some of his cockfighting winnings on somebody at the airport to cancel the flight and he’ll see the Cubs in St. Louis on Friday.
How about the outfield that the Cubs started on Friday? It consisted of a second baseman, a one legged outfielder and a first baseman who routinely has a pitcher pinch run for him when he gets on base. When you find yourself wishing the team would put Matt Murton in for defense…you’re in a very sad place.
Eric Patterson put on an exhibition of defense that violated several obscenity laws. Somewhere, Todd Hundley was openly mocking his attempts to catch flyballs, scoop up ground balls and make throws back to the infield. Lonnie Smith started calling him Skates.
After the game, Lou Piniella was asked if he had any plans to use Patterson in the outfield again on Saturday. Lou said, “Nope” in a way that made you wonder if Patterson would be sent to Iowa or to Statesville.
Saturday’s game was highlighted by a shoddy Fox HD feed which gave viewers a chance to experience an epileptic seizure at home without fear of swallowing their tongues. Pencil necked (and armed) tHom Brenneman was there with Mark Grace. When Grace is the voice of reason in a broadcast booth, things are bad.
Late in the game, tHom went on a rant about how much he loves Ozzie Guillen, about how good Ozzie is for the game and how people always overreact to things Ozzie says. He even said, every person has said some things they wish they hadn’t.
We know. Like this, or this, or this, or this.
Not soon after tHom and Grace were talking about the smooth transition Kerry Wood has made to closer and so Fox decided to show him sitting in the bullpen. Only to find him “interfacing” with some Sox fans.
[Youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18pf3_1w6rM]
I was waiting for a Joe Buck esque rant about how disgusting it was. tHom just pretended not to notice.
[Youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dmqGg6Ccvw]
All-Star vote totals have been updated and it’s pretty apparent that both Geovany Soto and Alfonso Soriano are going to get voted in as starters for the National League team. As we learned in Saturday’s telecast, Soto will be the first rookie to start at catcher in an All-Star game since Sandy Alomar Jr. in 1990. He’ll be the first National League catcher ever to do that. That’s pretty cool.
Since Soriano is currently on the DL, he’s obviously not going to play in the game. He’s also obviously not worried about playing in a exhibition game when his real goal is just to be healthy and ready to tear up the NL in the second half so the Cubs can win a pennant.
Right?
‘The doctors keep saying they want to be careful, that we’re in first place and we have a whole second half,” he said, acknowledging he’s still trying to get back in time for the All-Star Game. ”Yeah, they don’t understand.”
Ooh, boy. Look, I know Alfonso played five seasons (three full seasons) in New York as a Yankee, and I know he thinks it’ll be neato to be in the parade down the Canyon of Heroes and play in the game. But you know what? He can probably still be in the parade and get introduced (and greeted with a thunderous amount of of indifference) before the game and then sit next to Lou in the dugout.
Why can’t he at least pretend that he’s just anxious to get back so he can help the Cubs? He can’t even do that, all he talks about is the All-Star Game.
And he should show the team some appreciation. I mean, by running out the assortment of stiffs in left they have the last couple of weeks (Micah Hoffpauir, Mark DeRosa, Eric Patterson, Ginger) they’re making us all pine for his defense.
Fukkake is still third in the voting among NL outfielders, but he’s going to need his homeys in Japan to start voting, he’s only 32,000 votes ahead of Ryan Braun.
It appears as though Fat Elvis, Lance Berkman, is going to easily beat Albert Pujols and start at first base. This wouldn’t be a big deal if the ancient one were still on the DL with an injured calf, but he’s back. Almost three weeks earlier than anticipated.
Many in the Cardinals’ organization faked shock and awe when asked how Albert heals so darn fast.
“I don’t think there’s some magic button or special potion he’s taking,†Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak said. “Albert loves to play the game of baseball. That’s where he gets his joy from. Regardless of whether we’re 15 (games) up or 15 down, in first place or last place, he just wants to play baseball.â€
No magic potion, eh? You know, if only there were some sort of hormone that could promote the growth of tissue in humans? Wouldn’t that be neat? Man, if an organization could just embrace the benefits of such a hormone and ignore the illegality of it, they’d really have a nifty little advantage, wouldn’t they?
I for one, will continue to believe in the incredible healing powers of Albert Pujols, and to think, this great man is only 28 years old. Amazing.
His legend astonishes me. What a guy:
Baseball dominated just about every part of Albert’s life. He worked out and practiced whenever and wherever he could, establishing a personal dedication to the game that still sets him apart from his peers. Albert had never worked at being a better player before going to Fort Osage. When he saw how quickly the results came, he was hooked.
According to this, Albert was a 16 year old freshman in high school when first seriously started playing baseball.
Stanke remembers Albert being fiercely proud—though not cocky—of his spot on the Fort Osage varsity. On game days he wore his uniform to school. Modesty, however, kept him from bragging about his performance on the field.
In his first season, Albert hit better than .500 with 11 home runs. Fort Osage coach David Fry couldn’t believe his good fortune. The teenager was the hardest worker—and swinger—on the team. Fry remembers one mammoth shot Albert launched at Liberty High School that landed on top of a 25-foot high air conditioning unit some 450 feet from home plate.
Wow, that seems like a long way for a 16 year old to hit a homer. Maybe someone who was, say, 26, could do that. I’m impressed, Albert!
A naturally gifted student, Albert had extra motivation, figuring that the sooner he conquered the language barrier, the sooner he would make it to the big leagues.
The following year, opponents avoided Albert like the plague, offering little in the way of hittable pitches. Still, despite 55 walks in 88 at-bats, he managed to belt eight homers, lead Fort Osage to the state championship and earn All-State honors for the second year in a row.
So he walked 55 times in 88 at bats as a sophomore? And he’s a great student? Wow, all of the big schools are going to be after this kid. After all, he’s only 17!
By his junior year in high school, Albert was attracting the attention of pro scouts. Intrigued by his work ethic, baseball acumen and undeniable talent, they advised him to leave Fort Osage and find a college that would give him better exposure. The idea wasn’t out of the question, particularly because an aggressive course load would allow Albert to graduate in January of his senior year and move right onto the college diamond. Convinced that this plan was his surest path to the majors, he spent the fall with his nose buried in his books.
Wow, a lot of big colleges would be interested in a guy like this. So where did he go? Stanford? Miami? Texas?
One of the few breaks he took was to appear in an All-Star Game for high schoolers in the Kansas City area. Among those in attendance was Marty Kilgore, the coach at nearby Maple Woods Community College. Kilgore was blown away by Albert’s strength and knowledge of the game. He recruited the 18-year-old for the spring of 1999.
Oh, yeah, Maple Woods. They’re awesome. They’re a huge college (4,700 students) with a great athletic department (actually, they only offer baseball and softball.) And wait, how is Albert only 18 now? He was a 16 year old freshman, right? And he graduated from school in a three and a half years, right? Didn’t it just say that? I’m confused.
Meanwhile, Albert was ready to meet another challenge, this one off the field. At a Latin dance club in Kansas City, he met a pretty 21-year-old named Deidre. Completely smitten, Albert lied about his age to get a date with her. When he eventually owned up to his fib, Deidre revealed a secret of her own. She had a daughter named Isabella who had been diagnosed with Down Syndrome. Albert bonded immediately with the infant, and Deidre marveled at the maturity of her teenage boyfriend.
It’s probably not that uncommon for a 19 year old to date a 21 year old. So why was Albert lying? Unless, she thought he was too old for her. Nah, that would never happen.
Besides, I love the subplot, it reminds me of a great movie from about that time.
Any way, I just find the whole Pujols saga to be so amazing. Here’s a kid, just 16 years old when anybody in America requires him to declare an age, who is physically advanced for his age and who plays baseball like a man among boys. Then, he signs with a franchise with no history of performance enhancing drug use and shows off his ability to defy science with a freakish ability to heal from serious injuries.
What good fortune it was that Albert happened to be 16 when he happened to end up in Missouri. You know, if he’d been just one year older he wouldn’t have been able to attend high school, he’d have had to go the GED route and that would have cost him a chance to play three years of high school baseball. Wow, what a lucky guy!
I will now post with righteous indignation that anyone should dare impugn the good character of a St. Louis Meth-head, er, Cardinal.
The comment in today’s post was me:
“Why can’t he at least pretend that he’s just anxious to get back so he can help the Cubs? He can’t even do that, all he talks about is the All-Star Game.”
We really don’t know if Alf was simply responding to a direct question about the ASG or not, or what he said before or after that point (unless there’s the full raw footage posted on YouTube or something), so we’re making a bit of a leap in regards to his intent here, yes?
No, it wasn’t Mariotti-esque, for two reasons.
1) If it was, it would have said, “Why can’t he at least pretend that he’s just anxious to get back so he can help the Cubs? He owes it to me! It’s all about me. Everything is about me! Why are you staring at me?â€
2) It’s the fourth or fifth time that Alfonso has talked about coming back in time to play in the All-Star Game. He talked about it the day after the x-rays. He talked about it the day he predicted he’d be taking batting practice (more than a week ago) he talked about it before Friday’s game and he talked about it yesterday. I’m sure I missed one or two.
I’m glad he’s working hard to come back. Nobody ever said he didn’t work hard, it’s his motivation that is troubling.
We’re terrible on the road, bad (11-16) against +.500 teams, half the team is hurt, the pitching is struggling, our best offensive player is missing the next series, and our division lead is down to 2.5 with a road series at St. Louis coming up this weekend.
Look, it’s not time to PANIC!!! yet but shouldn’t we be more concerned with this stuff than with the All-Star voting or Pujols’ age?
In our hustle-bustle world, it’s always worth the time to pause and appreciate our elders, especially spry and energetic elders like Spanish-American War Hero Albert Pujols.
“It’s all about me”
Is that Mariotti talking or Albie?
“I’m glad he’s working hard to come back. Nobody ever said he didn’t work hard, it’s his motivation that is troubling.”
Given that a return by the All-Star break would put him back on the active roster nearly two weeks earlier than originally anticipated, I really don’t care if his only motivation is to shag two hookers in the visitors’ clubhouse in the Bronx during the seventh-inning stretch. There’s a moderate chance this team could be in full tailspin by then, and 9-10 more games with Soriano in the lineup is better than without.
My apologies if the Mariotti reference was a cheap shot. I just really, really hate it when media folks take one quote and play the “why didn’t he mention X or Y” game with it, when they know damn well that 95 percent of the time, the guy’s simply responding to a direct question about the subject of the quote, or that the quote has been whittled down to one or two lines from a one-minute answer. So naturally, I hate seeing my favorite Cubs blog strolling down that path, even indirectly.
And I agree with #4… I’m far more concerned with the fact that the entire pitching staff has been taking a collective dump on the mound for the past three weeks than any of this other stuff…
> Look, it’s not time to PANIC!!! yet but shouldn’t we be more concerned with this stuff than with the All-Star voting or Pujols’ age?
You know, you’re right. Enough of these petty distractions.
Push is currently coming to shove, so it’s time for us fans to really buckle down and…
Wait, just what exactly would you have us do to help the team at this juncture?
Mistranslate stupid catchphrases into Japanese?
Pray to Jobu?
Write to Carrie Muskrat?
You’re right. I’m just venting.
And I can’t wait until Uncle Albert trips on the dugout steps and fractures his hip. That “special potion” line was just mindblowing.
Yes indeed, we should not be distracting ourselves from the important work at hand. If we’d focus and root harder, they’d win.
As for the Soriano quote, I’m not just pulling a quote out of thin air and trying to put a spin on it, and I’m certainly not going to let Gordon Fucking Wittenmyer lead me down a path. Soriano has been talking about the All-Star Game since the day after he got hurt.
I’m not making this stuff up. I’m glad he’s working hard to get back in the lineup and yes, they need him. But the last thing they need is for him to hurry up just to play in some dumbassed exhibition because it’s in a place he used to play. Even an aggressive timetable would have him ready to go on a rehab assignment (and given the way he played the last time he came off the DL–misjudging flyballs and swinging at everything) he needs to on a rehab assignment around the time of the All-Star Game.
Say he can finally take batting practice this weekend in St. Louis for the first time. Mark O’Neal said he’ll probably need to take it for a week before he’s ready to go on his rehab assignment. That would mean that his rehab assignment should be July 11-13. That would have him ready to play in the All-Star Game. Though really, you’d like to see him play through the All-Star Break so he gets a lot more at bats before the Cubs start the second half at Houston.
I want him back as soon as possible. I don’t want him cutting his rehab assignment short so he can play in the All Star Game.
Problem with the all-star break is that most minor leagues are on break for their ASG too so I don’t think he’d be able to get at-bats anywhere else anyway.
You could also consider a few at-bats at the ASG part of a rehab assignment. He can get reinjured as easily in New York as he could in Round Rock.
He can play with my boys on the 16, 17 and 18, then be in Houston to start the second half.
http://www.peoriachiefs.com/schedule/game/index.html?act%5Bv%5D=graphical&frm%5Bd%5D=2008-07-01
I don’t think getting two ABs against All-Star pitching in three days is going to do him much good. Unless he wants to practice his stroll back to the dugout after a strikeout.
Despite what you Despiots think, I am not Andy’s brother-in-law (but he sounds like a really great guy with impeccable taste in baseball teams to me!).
Even though I am a meth-crazed, Mayberry of Missouri hick with an I.Q. of 15 (and that’s only on a good day) even a lowbrow like me can see that you guys need to take a chill pill.
I mean c’mon guys….you’ve got the best team that WGN and Tribune money can buy in a huge TV market (unlike we po’ folk down here in the Sho’ Nuff State). All we’uns have is a bunch of kids, no-names, and Uncle Albert.
I’m sure our Satanic Featherheads will quietly decline, let the Brewers and other wild card hopefuls pass us, and fade into oblivion.
So just relax, boys…..just relax…..reeeee-lax…….
Bwahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!
Your obedient servant,
L the R,
The Phantom of the Desipio Board
Gold, Jerry, Gold!
“Despite what you Despiots think, I am not Andy’s brother-in-law (but he sounds like a really great guy with impeccable taste in baseball teams to me!).
Even though I am a meth-crazed, Mayberry of Missouri hick with an I.Q. of 15 (and that’s only on a good day) even a lowbrow like me can see that you guys need to take a chill pill.
I mean c’mon guys….you’ve got the best team that WGN and Tribune money can buy in a huge TV market (unlike we po’ folk down here in the Sho’ Nuff State). All we’uns have is a bunch of kids, no-names, and Uncle Albert.
I’m sure our Satanic Featherheads will quietly decline, let the Brewers and other wild card hopefuls pass us, and fade into oblivion.
So just relax, boys…..just relax…..reeeee-lax…….
Bwahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!
Your obedient servant,
L the R,
The Phantom of the Desipio Board”
Dad?
Hilarious!
Where can we get some of dat kickapoo joy healing juice?
I don’t think Soriano needs any All-Star at-bats. All they can do is get him hurt for the reward of a little TV time. Although it’d be funny to see him drop an easy fly ball on National TV in Yankee Stadium… When It Doesn’t “Count”!!
He doesn’t deserve to be a starter anyway.
Sujre
I don’t think Soriano needs any All-Star at-bats. All they can do is get him hurt for the reward of a little TV time. Although it’d be funny to see him drop an easy fly ball on National TV in Yankee Stadium… When It Doesn’t “Count”!!
He doesn’t deserve to be a starter anyway.
Sure, he could have put up crazy numbers if he didn’t get hurt. But, he could have went into a slump as well. Who are we to know? BaseballPsychics.com?
When does Reed Johnson come back?
I’m dead serious. I think his absence has had more of an impact on the team recently than most are willing to admit.
He would have went on a 0-23, 16 K slump. And then got hurt hopping for a ball. On a day ending in “y”. And, wait, your Mother wants you
to call.
I am one of the two stupidest posts ever. The second one is also me. My baseball genius is on display by claiming that Soriano should not be a starter. I mean, who are we? baseballpsychos.com?