Say what you will about me, but don’t you like to see this attitude about the last two months of the season?
“We’re trying to just be the 2008 Chicago Cubs, and let our season and our record stand for itself, and not worry about what people did in the past, or even what we did in the past,” Dempster said. “Just worry about playing each game one at a time, and hopefully at the end we can do something really special that hasn’t been done in Chicago in a long time.”
I want to say that to Mike Downey.
Rickie Weeks
on July 31, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I went to the Manny Ramirez/Matt Murton school of baserunning
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:23 pm
When is this city going to build us a ballpark? I’m tired of playing at Wriggley North.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I see Ryan got the memo about the 2005 World Series cancellation, too.
“we can do something really special that hasn’t been done in Chicago in a long time.”
Nice of Weeks to demonstrate his Moises Alou impersonation.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 1:27 pm
The MLB TradeRumors guy is a simp. Mike Murphy’s begging for the Cubs to get Milton Bradley, so he’s running with it saying the Cubs are after Milton.
WGN TV
on July 31, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Our last three road telecasts have featured:
– A lost feed during the pregame show and no HD at all during the game.
– A weird siren song that lasted the entire game on Tuesday night.
– Weird pulsating sound and hissing today.
Fuck, we should just give the games to Comcast.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’m up next and really feel like puking.
Lou
on July 31, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Anybody hear me call Prince “Big Cecil” during the pregame the other night?
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Oops, puked on my shoes.
Ryan Braun
on July 31, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I give up. Now I’m bunting.
Edgar Tovar
on July 31, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I took Kerry deep in the simulated game!
The dirt around second is deep, right?
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 1:32 pm
The description of Kerry’s injury sounds like he has “finger herpes.”
Milton Bradley
on July 31, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Head case – check
Gahdawwful in center – check
Still can rake – CHECK
Nothing wrong with me in pinstripes or Z smurf blue
Bob Brenly
on July 31, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I am funny. I just said Bob Howry’s an option to close.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 1:34 pm
The inevitable Milton-Carlos Z fight would be epic, though. You could pay per view that thing. Carlos is bigger, but Milton’s even crazier.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 1:34 pm
By the way, I love shots of Scott Eyre sitting lonely in the bullpen. Oh, how I hate that fat fuck.
Bob Howry
on July 31, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Close and lock the bullpen gate on me.
Gabe Kapler
on July 31, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Now I have retard strength.
Donald Sutherland
on July 31, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I find Milton as crazy as you do.
Dusty
on July 31, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Hey guys, did you hear we traded for Ken Griffey Jr today! Dude, we are gonna be…what? We traded him? Shit. Gotta have my horses, dudes.
Erin Andrews
on July 31, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Click on the link and read the “Today’s newspaper column” about me:
“Hey, Erin just gave me her digits! She said her number is 321-559-1212.”
Rich Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 1:43 pm
This is why we have the DH in the AL.
Dick Hardon
on July 31, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I cannot be troubled to run 90 feet. Perhaps someone could run for me?
Dave B
on July 31, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I love this part of the column:
“As two Cubs stood near their lockers, one asked the other: “Hot? Or just attractive? Does she do anything for you?”
The inquisitor then made eye contact with me as if saying — to use a term my uncle might have — “Hubba-hubba!”
This went on for at least an hour. Finally, Piniella emerged from his office, ready for his dugout media session. As he turned the corner, there was Andrews in all of her bare-legged, high-heeled, low-necklined glory.
“Hey, hey, hey! Look at this!” Piniella said, loudly and excitedly. “Are you doing a baseball game today or a modeling assignment?”
My guess on the two Cubs discussing her hotness: DeRo and Reed Johnson.
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 1:46 pm
If Don Flamenco (from Mike Tyson’s Punchout) played baseball, he would bat like Craig Counsel
JO
on July 31, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Mass JO, definite HJE with dat.
Jason Kendall
on July 31, 2008 at 1:47 pm
How bad is my backup that I catch every damned day?
Dick Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 1:48 pm
So, I have a one-run lead, again… Please tell me that this is going to end differently this time around.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Jim Powell giving major league props to the Cubs on the Brewers broadcast. Tips his hat to the Cubs pitching and hitting. He basically stopped short of telling us that the Cubs just swept the Brewers at home, damn it!
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I am not that impressive today.
Rickie Weeks
on July 31, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Can somebody burn a DVD of my performance so far. It’s been epic.
@Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Sarcasm?
Brewers
on July 31, 2008 at 1:51 pm
You may not be impressive, but we aren’t scoring, Rich.
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 1:51 pm
KKKK
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Quit picking on my homie, he’s been having a rough year. Hey homie, you bring my veggie sub with the alfalfa sprouts with you?
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 1:55 pm
It’s true, I’m watching the brewers feed, and they have tons of respect for the cubs. Even when Kapler smoked the double, they said, Harden doesn’t make many mistakes so you can’t afford to miss a rare mistake pitch.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:57 pm
What did you say, Jim Powell? The Cubs have kicked us in the stomach repeatedly, emptied ours pockets and left town? No wonder I feel like puking today. Rickie, where’s my sandwich, it’s way past noon!
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Hey, dicks. Where is that patented patience you guys were showing earlier in this series? Where are the runs. I want to win, but I don’t want it to be a high wire act. Get me some more support.
D_Lee
on July 31, 2008 at 1:58 pm
6-3, how unusual.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I have a tremendous amount of respect for the Cubs, just watch me try to play something we call baseball against them.
D-Lee
on July 31, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Might be time to try me in the 5- or 6-spot. WAY too many weak grounders to SS.
DLee
on July 31, 2008 at 2:02 pm
My July OPS is .816. Fuck off.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Bases loaded again. This is starting to look like the Dave Bush we know and love so well.
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Ouch
Hey D
on July 31, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Just think what your RBI total would be if you came through with guys on base every now and then.
Lassie
on July 31, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Go ahead, trade for a fucking outfielder. I dare you.
Jimmy JO
on July 31, 2008 at 2:05 pm
That’s what it’s gonna feel like this fall when Favre throws a TD pass for the Bears against the Fudge Packers!!!
Dave Bush
on July 31, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Please, Ned. Take me out of this game. I just threw up all over myself.
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Ok. Good job guys. Especially you Edmonds.
I still won’t make out with you though. I don’t care how many beers you buy me. I am not into that.
Party Time. Tonite. Shower Room at Spin. No beards allowed!!
Cub Fan in PA
on July 31, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Grand Woof Woof!
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Andy, I checked out that you tube link.
I want 96 seconds of my life back.
TJ Z.
on July 31, 2008 at 2:09 pm
BONERTIME
wGN cAMERaMan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I have no idea where the ball is. Ever.
WGN
on July 31, 2008 at 2:10 pm
We’re just going to play tracks from the Singles soundtrack during the game.
Crow
on July 31, 2008 at 2:10 pm
My life is in danger. So many will have to eat me after so many opinions about Edmonds were proven wrong.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Andy, is that Kyle Gass from Tenacious D singing the Brett Favre Boogie?
Tractor Pull
on July 31, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Miller Park and its regular attendees are best suited for me.
WGN guy
on July 31, 2008 at 2:11 pm
I don’t know where the cAPS lOCk kEY is Either.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Hey Dan, I didn’t tell you to look at it. I specifically told Brewers fans to watch it.
Ground Rule Doubles
on July 31, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Do I ever happen at Wrigley?
John Anderton
on July 31, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I accidentally killed Crow.
Derrek Lee
on July 31, 2008 at 2:13 pm
How many out?
Three? Oh.
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I think the guy singing the brett farve boogie is the guy who says “time to make the doughnuts”
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Len just really gave a roundabout explanation that basically ended with, “Whoever wins the most games, will win the division.”
Lassie
on July 31, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Damn, I wish I could have played with a guy named Joe Adcock.
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Manny’s not going to be a Marlin? I thought that was a slam dunk. (NOT) Every year its the same shit, and every year he never gets traded.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Did someone mention doughnuts?
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Andy, shouldn’t that be “whomever?”
Moises Alou
on July 31, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I founded the Manny Ramirez/Matt Murton/Rickie Weeks school of baserunning. Jock Jones is professor emeritus.
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:22 pm
KKKKKK
Dan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Brewers telecasters just pointed out that in this entire series, Lou has not had to make a pitching change mid inning.
Pretty cool.
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Make that 7
KKKKKKK
Dick
on July 31, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I’m dealin…
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I might have the gumption to go a complete six innings. That would be pretty good for me.
Only 76 pitches
on July 31, 2008 at 2:27 pm
So far.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Uker, “Bush in his career against Chicago has had some problems.”
Really???
Lou
on July 31, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I told Santo that Harden can go over 100 pitches today if we need him to.
Ned Yost
on July 31, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Maybe we need to come up with a better platoon. Bush should pitch at home, but only for night games. McClung pitches on the road, on even numbered days, and Suppan pitches the home day games and odd numbered road games.
(was that joke to long to be funny?)
Lassie
on July 31, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Shit, do I have to drive in every run today?
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Ned, does this involve math, because I puked a lot today and now feel hungry again?
Cheap Joke
on July 31, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I thought you liked driving it in Lassie?
Dave Bush
on July 31, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I’m 1-6 in my career against the Cubs, with a 4.88 ERA.
I think Ned should set up the rotation so I always face the Cubs. Law of averages means I’ll throw a no-hitter next time, right? Right??
Dave, I think we should trade you for Favre. At least he can throw a ball.
NUMBER 8
on July 31, 2008 at 2:33 pm
KKKKKKKK
Derrek Lee
on July 31, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Defense don’t slump, doges.
BAY RAY?
on July 31, 2008 at 2:34 pm
didn’t have that one on my radar.
Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Holy crap, am I going to go 7 innings? What the hell am I, CC Sabbathia?
Rich Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:36 pm
So you put a pitcher who has yet to give up more than one run in a game on the best offensive team in the league? This might just work, yet.
Manny Ramirez
on July 31, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Looks like I might be heading to the Dodgers.
Nomar and I can be whirlpool buddies again!
Getaway Day
on July 31, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Hell, both teams are trying to get this bitch over as soon as possible.
Missed something?
on July 31, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Is Fielder sick today or something? Did he really puke or are you guys kidding about the “Puke and Rally” post Andy put up?
1 Eye Sox Fan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Hey, you guys owe me a eye!!!
Missed something?
on July 31, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Is there some sort of running joke that involves making homosexual inuendos about jim edmonds?
Missed something?
on July 31, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Is there some sort of running joke that involves making homosexual inuendos about jim edmonds?
Bill Simmons
on July 31, 2008 at 2:40 pm
I just threw up in my mouth.
Rich Harden aka Dick Firm
on July 31, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Sure CC has got more wins, but I’m pretty awesome too when I get some damn run support. Plus, I didn’t get outdueled by a plus 4 ERA pitcher.
Planet Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Damn, I am fat. Even though CC is stealing some of my food now.
Missed something? (the real one)
on July 31, 2008 at 2:44 pm
All right, touche, but I thought he was talking about the depressed fans….not Planet Fielder.
Upcoming homestand
on July 31, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Better go at least 6-3, hopefully 7-2.
Rich Harden
on July 31, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Meh. I give up one solo HR every game. Just to make it interesting.
cj
on July 31, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I wish we could get a game blog done exclusively by Andy. Everyone elses material is just plain awful.
Ryan Braun
on July 31, 2008 at 2:45 pm
What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m bunting again?
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Uh oh. Howry’s up. Put away the brooms.
Toro 38
on July 31, 2008 at 2:46 pm
cj is an ass kisser on a blog, that is just sad
Gabe Kapler
on July 31, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I own Rich Harden.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I think Lou is just warming Howry up to scare Harden.
dan
on July 31, 2008 at 2:47 pm
cmon cj, the desipiots have their moments of comic triumph.
Ned
on July 31, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I’m rocking the shades today. Hides my Downs Syndrome eyes.
Chris Burke
on July 31, 2008 at 2:51 pm
We refuse to claim you, Ned.
Jason Kendall
on July 31, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Man, my offense sucks, thank god I can throw out runners. Oh, wait… I’m just terrible
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Cameron saved that inning. Swinging at ball four and popping it to center left it two out and the awful Jason Kendall up.
Lou
on July 31, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Nice one-run outing again, Rich. Marmol and Samardzija should be able to wrap it up from here.
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Missed Something, you missed ANdy’s post with the picture of my biggest fan puking on himself. And I’m sick of the Cubs beating the Brewers!
Daryle Ward
on July 31, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I still suck. I need to put my weight back on.
Scott Eyre
on July 31, 2008 at 2:57 pm
That’s right, Mr. Kangaroo. No gut, no gas.
Alfonso Soriano
on July 31, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Time for some yard work.
Edgar Tovar
on July 31, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Eyre’s got gas. That’s why we don’t sit next to him in the bullpen.
Prince
on July 31, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Having a fat midget at first hurts sometimes.
Brenly
on July 31, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I’ll hold my tongue on dissing my man-crush Counsell’s error. I loves me some Craigers!
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 3:00 pm
It only took Ned 1hr and 45 minutes to pull Bush. That’s quick for Ned.
Bram Weinstein
on July 31, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I am on ESPNews. What the fuck am I?
Lou
on July 31, 2008 at 3:01 pm
See Counsell, that’s why people like you shouldn’t intentially drop pop ups, because you might just make a shitassed throw like you just did there. Smart guy.
Matt Lawton
on July 31, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Trade for me again, I’m ready.
Bob Howry
on July 31, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I suggest you get another run or five. I’m coming in!
Sammy Sosa
on July 31, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I got traded to the Cubs!!! Yippie!!! How many outs?
Hava Nagila
on July 31, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Why in the wide, wide world of sports do they play me at Miller Dump? Is there a bar mitzvah going on in the picnic area all the time?
Prince Fielder
on July 31, 2008 at 3:07 pm
It’s sounds a lot like the Chicken Dance.
Toro 38
on July 31, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Man, even Howry can’t mess up this win for Hardin
Cub Fan in PA
on July 31, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Nice to see the offense not need DLee to put up a nice crooked number. Also nice to see the Cubs tack on runs in every game this series.
Kosuke
on July 31, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Sayonara, bitches!
Toro 38
on July 31, 2008 at 3:09 pm
That’s FUKUDOME bitches!
Kenny Lofton
on July 31, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Have I been sent to a team yet today? It’s tradition.
Putting boots in Mirwaukee ass is velly fun for entire squadron.
Pantsed
on July 31, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Utterly owning the Brewers this week. Ouch. All that’s left is a Mexican Avalanche (wiping cock off in Milwaukee’s hair, and then shoving them down the stairs).
Midwest Airlines
on July 31, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Flight 1243 to Atlanta is just about ready to take off. Thanks for choosing to fly with us. We have some celebrities on the flight tonight. The Milwaukee Brewers! Welcome to Midwest Airlines and welcome to third place, you pathetic losers.
Jason Bay
on July 31, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Never mind. I didn’t get traded to the Rays. See you tomorrow.
Scott Eyre
on July 31, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Shit, I guess I didn’t get traded either.
Scott Eyre
on July 31, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Well, that deal to Boston where I was sent to Fenway for two of Manny’s skull-caps must be dead. I’m up in the pen.
That means another month of watching that damn Dancing Caveman Geico commercial.
I’ll still be better than any pitcher the Brewers face in Atlanta this weekend.
Bob is pointing out that when the Brewers folded down the stretch last year they did the same gutless bullshit. Just a reminder how lucky we are that Ned manages these dopes.
Ned Yost
on July 31, 2008 at 3:35 pm
As usual I’m a fucking idiot.
Ned
on July 31, 2008 at 3:37 pm
We need to retaliate. For you kicking our ass. You meanies.
Geovany
on July 31, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Suck on that, McLung.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Bob wants the Cubs to squeeze now. Just to rub it in.
I don’t think we need as much offense because the Pirates only have Nate McClouth and 8 little leaguers playing for the rest of the year.
However, what does this loss due to Milwaukee for their next series? They have no bullpen left.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 3:51 pm
That was quite a little pouty performance there by widdle Princey. What a fucking tool. Snapped his bat on the ground. Yelled at the ump. Got tossed. Kept screaming. Wouldn’t leave.
Fuck him.
Chad Fox
on July 31, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I’m on the road to recovery!
Yay?
Bernie Brewer
on July 31, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Hey, I’m here anyway. Just move me to the dugout.
Brewers
on July 31, 2008 at 3:52 pm
How on earth did we gag away that division lead last year? We’re so level-headed.
Cub Fan in Satanic Fowl Land
on July 31, 2008 at 3:53 pm
When Lassie was getting the Kong, er, ball thrown at him, Santo went apeshit…called Gange’s attitude “bush”…no matter what he rambles on, baseball on the radio is not the same without him.
Scott Eyre
on July 31, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I’m looking good.
No. Not good.
Ron
on July 31, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Patrick, I’m so mad, I’m going to throw a leg at Gag-nee.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Kosuke almost forced Kapler at second.
I can’t see why Lou hasn’t been using Eyre. What a gamer this guy is.
Scott Eyre
on July 31, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Trading me today would have been the very definition of addition by subtraction.
Reuschel's Jowls
on July 31, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Jesus, a ten-run lead and Lou’s going to have to get somebody up. Nice job, Scott.
Bearbonnais
on July 31, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Is anyone else highly amused that each team has 9 hits but the Cubs have 10 more runs?
DFA
on July 31, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I’m coming for you, fatso.
Andy
on July 31, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Fuck Scott Eyre, I’m glad he just got three runs charged to him.
Rickie
on July 31, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I’ll cap my day by whiffing to end it.
JG
on July 31, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Book closed on Eyre for today. ERA up to 7.15. I agree with Andy … although now Lou will probably get Marmol up.
I’m where Lou will be sending Eyre after this game.
Toro 38
on July 31, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I would have traded Eyre for a ham sandwhich
Glendon Rusch Memorial Fake DL
on July 31, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Future residence of Fatt Eyre
Paul
on August 1, 2008 at 12:42 am
These new commenters (commentors?) are really, really horrible and unfunny. Just almost impossible to read and enjoy. I think Dolan is the only board regular posting.
My audio is pulsating!
Got them butterflies in my stomach and feel like that guy who puked on himself.
Did someone say something about Butterfly Shrimp?…oh wait I don’t do meat anymore….
The red Sox are trading me to the Packers for Favre:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Did-Manny-just-cash-his-ticket-to-Miami-with-thi?urn=mlb,97458
You’ll pay for that putas…
3 and out!
Where’s Rich Hill?
Say what you will about me, but don’t you like to see this attitude about the last two months of the season?
“We’re trying to just be the 2008 Chicago Cubs, and let our season and our record stand for itself, and not worry about what people did in the past, or even what we did in the past,” Dempster said. “Just worry about playing each game one at a time, and hopefully at the end we can do something really special that hasn’t been done in Chicago in a long time.”
I want to say that to Mike Downey.
I went to the Manny Ramirez/Matt Murton school of baserunning
When is this city going to build us a ballpark? I’m tired of playing at Wriggley North.
I see Ryan got the memo about the 2005 World Series cancellation, too.
“we can do something really special that hasn’t been done in Chicago in a long time.”
Brenly is talking about regularity?
Nice of Weeks to demonstrate his Moises Alou impersonation.
The MLB TradeRumors guy is a simp. Mike Murphy’s begging for the Cubs to get Milton Bradley, so he’s running with it saying the Cubs are after Milton.
Our last three road telecasts have featured:
– A lost feed during the pregame show and no HD at all during the game.
– A weird siren song that lasted the entire game on Tuesday night.
– Weird pulsating sound and hissing today.
Fuck, we should just give the games to Comcast.
I’m up next and really feel like puking.
Anybody hear me call Prince “Big Cecil” during the pregame the other night?
Oops, puked on my shoes.
I give up. Now I’m bunting.
I took Kerry deep in the simulated game!
The dirt around second is deep, right?
The description of Kerry’s injury sounds like he has “finger herpes.”
Head case – check
Gahdawwful in center – check
Still can rake – CHECK
Nothing wrong with me in pinstripes or Z smurf blue
I am funny. I just said Bob Howry’s an option to close.
The inevitable Milton-Carlos Z fight would be epic, though. You could pay per view that thing. Carlos is bigger, but Milton’s even crazier.
By the way, I love shots of Scott Eyre sitting lonely in the bullpen. Oh, how I hate that fat fuck.
Close and lock the bullpen gate on me.
Now I have retard strength.
I find Milton as crazy as you do.
Hey guys, did you hear we traded for Ken Griffey Jr today! Dude, we are gonna be…what? We traded him? Shit. Gotta have my horses, dudes.
Click on the link and read the “Today’s newspaper column” about me:
http://www.thebaldesttruth.com/
I’m glad the Brewers can’t re-sign Sheets, or Sabathia or Prince, but they can pay me $7 million to absolutely suck ass.
Actually, I fed Murph the rumor on the Score. Ofman was claiming they were targeting Giles (Brian) earlier in the day.
Who’s the genius who thinks Mike Nadel’s picture should be about 12 inches tall on that Erin Andrews’ column? Now a big picture of her would be fine…
Come home!
I’m your lefty outfielder you homos.
Wait, are you homos?
Hello boys! ;)
I just called Edmonds’ bomb.
And for a picture of EA in the sexy outfit she wore last night, go to Deadspin.
Sorry guys, I thought BP started at 1:30. Sorry I was late.
Can I get a “woof woof?”
atta boy lassie!
Here’s Erin’s picture.
http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/images/deadspin/2008/07/erin_wrigley.jpg
Check out Bruce Miles on the cell phone.
“Hey, Erin just gave me her digits! She said her number is 321-559-1212.”
This is why we have the DH in the AL.
I cannot be troubled to run 90 feet. Perhaps someone could run for me?
I love this part of the column:
“As two Cubs stood near their lockers, one asked the other: “Hot? Or just attractive? Does she do anything for you?”
The inquisitor then made eye contact with me as if saying — to use a term my uncle might have — “Hubba-hubba!”
This went on for at least an hour. Finally, Piniella emerged from his office, ready for his dugout media session. As he turned the corner, there was Andrews in all of her bare-legged, high-heeled, low-necklined glory.
“Hey, hey, hey! Look at this!” Piniella said, loudly and excitedly. “Are you doing a baseball game today or a modeling assignment?”
My guess on the two Cubs discussing her hotness: DeRo and Reed Johnson.
If Don Flamenco (from Mike Tyson’s Punchout) played baseball, he would bat like Craig Counsel
Mass JO, definite HJE with dat.
How bad is my backup that I catch every damned day?
So, I have a one-run lead, again… Please tell me that this is going to end differently this time around.
Jim Powell giving major league props to the Cubs on the Brewers broadcast. Tips his hat to the Cubs pitching and hitting. He basically stopped short of telling us that the Cubs just swept the Brewers at home, damn it!
I am not that impressive today.
Can somebody burn a DVD of my performance so far. It’s been epic.
Sarcasm?
You may not be impressive, but we aren’t scoring, Rich.
KKKK
Quit picking on my homie, he’s been having a rough year. Hey homie, you bring my veggie sub with the alfalfa sprouts with you?
It’s true, I’m watching the brewers feed, and they have tons of respect for the cubs. Even when Kapler smoked the double, they said, Harden doesn’t make many mistakes so you can’t afford to miss a rare mistake pitch.
What did you say, Jim Powell? The Cubs have kicked us in the stomach repeatedly, emptied ours pockets and left town? No wonder I feel like puking today. Rickie, where’s my sandwich, it’s way past noon!
Hey, dicks. Where is that patented patience you guys were showing earlier in this series? Where are the runs. I want to win, but I don’t want it to be a high wire act. Get me some more support.
6-3, how unusual.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for the Cubs, just watch me try to play something we call baseball against them.
Might be time to try me in the 5- or 6-spot. WAY too many weak grounders to SS.
My July OPS is .816. Fuck off.
Bases loaded again. This is starting to look like the Dave Bush we know and love so well.
Ouch
Just think what your RBI total would be if you came through with guys on base every now and then.
Go ahead, trade for a fucking outfielder. I dare you.
That’s what it’s gonna feel like this fall when Favre throws a TD pass for the Bears against the Fudge Packers!!!
Please, Ned. Take me out of this game. I just threw up all over myself.
Ok. Good job guys. Especially you Edmonds.
I still won’t make out with you though. I don’t care how many beers you buy me. I am not into that.
WOOF! WOOOF! WOOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOOF! WOOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOOF! WOOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOOF! WOOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOOF! WOOOF! WOOF!
Brewers fans can always occupy themselves with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlXZqJ99AKU
Party Time. Tonite. Shower Room at Spin. No beards allowed!!
Grand Woof Woof!
Andy, I checked out that you tube link.
I want 96 seconds of my life back.
BONERTIME
I have no idea where the ball is. Ever.
We’re just going to play tracks from the Singles soundtrack during the game.
My life is in danger. So many will have to eat me after so many opinions about Edmonds were proven wrong.
Andy, is that Kyle Gass from Tenacious D singing the Brett Favre Boogie?
Miller Park and its regular attendees are best suited for me.
I don’t know where the cAPS lOCk kEY is Either.
Hey Dan, I didn’t tell you to look at it. I specifically told Brewers fans to watch it.
Do I ever happen at Wrigley?
I accidentally killed Crow.
How many out?
Three? Oh.
I think the guy singing the brett farve boogie is the guy who says “time to make the doughnuts”
Len just really gave a roundabout explanation that basically ended with, “Whoever wins the most games, will win the division.”
Damn, I wish I could have played with a guy named Joe Adcock.
Manny’s not going to be a Marlin? I thought that was a slam dunk. (NOT) Every year its the same shit, and every year he never gets traded.
Did someone mention doughnuts?
Andy, shouldn’t that be “whomever?”
I founded the Manny Ramirez/Matt Murton/Rickie Weeks school of baserunning. Jock Jones is professor emeritus.
KKKKKK
Brewers telecasters just pointed out that in this entire series, Lou has not had to make a pitching change mid inning.
Pretty cool.
Make that 7
KKKKKKK
I’m dealin…
I might have the gumption to go a complete six innings. That would be pretty good for me.
So far.
Uker, “Bush in his career against Chicago has had some problems.”
Really???
I told Santo that Harden can go over 100 pitches today if we need him to.
Maybe we need to come up with a better platoon. Bush should pitch at home, but only for night games. McClung pitches on the road, on even numbered days, and Suppan pitches the home day games and odd numbered road games.
(was that joke to long to be funny?)
Shit, do I have to drive in every run today?
Ned, does this involve math, because I puked a lot today and now feel hungry again?
I thought you liked driving it in Lassie?
I’m 1-6 in my career against the Cubs, with a 4.88 ERA.
I think Ned should set up the rotation so I always face the Cubs. Law of averages means I’ll throw a no-hitter next time, right? Right??
I’m a Ray!
http://trades.mlblogs.com/archives/2008/07/rays_to_acquire_bay.html
So you won’t face me at Wrigley tomorrow.
Dave, I think we should trade you for Favre. At least he can throw a ball.
KKKKKKKK
Defense don’t slump, doges.
didn’t have that one on my radar.
Holy crap, am I going to go 7 innings? What the hell am I, CC Sabbathia?
So you put a pitcher who has yet to give up more than one run in a game on the best offensive team in the league? This might just work, yet.
Looks like I might be heading to the Dodgers.
Nomar and I can be whirlpool buddies again!
Hell, both teams are trying to get this bitch over as soon as possible.
Is Fielder sick today or something? Did he really puke or are you guys kidding about the “Puke and Rally” post Andy put up?
Hey, you guys owe me a eye!!!
Is there some sort of running joke that involves making homosexual inuendos about jim edmonds?
Is there some sort of running joke that involves making homosexual inuendos about jim edmonds?
I just threw up in my mouth.
Sure CC has got more wins, but I’m pretty awesome too when I get some damn run support. Plus, I didn’t get outdueled by a plus 4 ERA pitcher.
Damn, I am fat. Even though CC is stealing some of my food now.
All right, touche, but I thought he was talking about the depressed fans….not Planet Fielder.
Better go at least 6-3, hopefully 7-2.
Meh. I give up one solo HR every game. Just to make it interesting.
I wish we could get a game blog done exclusively by Andy. Everyone elses material is just plain awful.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m bunting again?
Uh oh. Howry’s up. Put away the brooms.
cj is an ass kisser on a blog, that is just sad
I own Rich Harden.
I think Lou is just warming Howry up to scare Harden.
cmon cj, the desipiots have their moments of comic triumph.
I’m rocking the shades today. Hides my Downs Syndrome eyes.
We refuse to claim you, Ned.
Man, my offense sucks, thank god I can throw out runners. Oh, wait… I’m just terrible
Cameron saved that inning. Swinging at ball four and popping it to center left it two out and the awful Jason Kendall up.
Nice one-run outing again, Rich. Marmol and Samardzija should be able to wrap it up from here.
Missed Something, you missed ANdy’s post with the picture of my biggest fan puking on himself. And I’m sick of the Cubs beating the Brewers!
I still suck. I need to put my weight back on.
That’s right, Mr. Kangaroo. No gut, no gas.
Time for some yard work.
Eyre’s got gas. That’s why we don’t sit next to him in the bullpen.
Having a fat midget at first hurts sometimes.
I’ll hold my tongue on dissing my man-crush Counsell’s error. I loves me some Craigers!
It only took Ned 1hr and 45 minutes to pull Bush. That’s quick for Ned.
I am on ESPNews. What the fuck am I?
See Counsell, that’s why people like you shouldn’t intentially drop pop ups, because you might just make a shitassed throw like you just did there. Smart guy.
Trade for me again, I’m ready.
I suggest you get another run or five. I’m coming in!
I got traded to the Cubs!!! Yippie!!! How many outs?
Why in the wide, wide world of sports do they play me at Miller Dump? Is there a bar mitzvah going on in the picnic area all the time?
It’s sounds a lot like the Chicken Dance.
Man, even Howry can’t mess up this win for Hardin
Nice to see the offense not need DLee to put up a nice crooked number. Also nice to see the Cubs tack on runs in every game this series.
Sayonara, bitches!
That’s FUKUDOME bitches!
Have I been sent to a team yet today? It’s tradition.
*MUNCH*Tastes like the chicken dance. *MUNCH*
in your face milwaukee
Nice to have you back, Kosuke.
In your face Milwaukee! <–click
Origato, Riske-san!
Putting boots in Mirwaukee ass is velly fun for entire squadron.
Utterly owning the Brewers this week. Ouch. All that’s left is a Mexican Avalanche (wiping cock off in Milwaukee’s hair, and then shoving them down the stairs).
Flight 1243 to Atlanta is just about ready to take off. Thanks for choosing to fly with us. We have some celebrities on the flight tonight. The Milwaukee Brewers! Welcome to Midwest Airlines and welcome to third place, you pathetic losers.
Never mind. I didn’t get traded to the Rays. See you tomorrow.
Shit, I guess I didn’t get traded either.
Well, that deal to Boston where I was sent to Fenway for two of Manny’s skull-caps must be dead. I’m up in the pen.
That means another month of watching that damn Dancing Caveman Geico commercial.
I’ll still be better than any pitcher the Brewers face in Atlanta this weekend.
Scoreless eighth. Stifle, bitches.
Hey I’m a Cub again.
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/news/trade_deadline/index_06.jsp
Although, I do not understand how I end up with the Cubs in a trade for Maddux.
(this is probably time sensitive)
Ned and the Brewers can’t even hit a guy right.
I’m a tough guy, eh? Throwing behind the dogfucker. Don’t I at least have the balls to hit him?
I’m a Dodger. Bay is a Red Sock.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/baseball/mlb/07/31/manny.sweepstakes/index.html?eref=T1
Bob is pointing out that when the Brewers folded down the stretch last year they did the same gutless bullshit. Just a reminder how lucky we are that Ned manages these dopes.
As usual I’m a fucking idiot.
We need to retaliate. For you kicking our ass. You meanies.
Suck on that, McLung.
Bob wants the Cubs to squeeze now. Just to rub it in.
Save some offense for tomorrow, boys!
I’m pissed.
This is good stuff.
The Cubs sealed Turnbow’s fate with that 19-5 drubbing in April. May this seal Yost’s fate?
I’m the loudest thing in this park all week.
Harvey Kuenn’s dead. Who would they hire?
Is the lead big enough for me to pitch, yet?
Tom Trebelhorn?
I don’t think we need as much offense because the Pirates only have Nate McClouth and 8 little leaguers playing for the rest of the year.
However, what does this loss due to Milwaukee for their next series? They have no bullpen left.
That was quite a little pouty performance there by widdle Princey. What a fucking tool. Snapped his bat on the ground. Yelled at the ump. Got tossed. Kept screaming. Wouldn’t leave.
Fuck him.
I’m on the road to recovery!
Yay?
Hey, I’m here anyway. Just move me to the dugout.
How on earth did we gag away that division lead last year? We’re so level-headed.
When Lassie was getting the Kong, er, ball thrown at him, Santo went apeshit…called Gange’s attitude “bush”…no matter what he rambles on, baseball on the radio is not the same without him.
I’m looking good.
No. Not good.
Patrick, I’m so mad, I’m going to throw a leg at Gag-nee.
Kosuke almost forced Kapler at second.
I can’t see why Lou hasn’t been using Eyre. What a gamer this guy is.
Trading me today would have been the very definition of addition by subtraction.
Jesus, a ten-run lead and Lou’s going to have to get somebody up. Nice job, Scott.
Is anyone else highly amused that each team has 9 hits but the Cubs have 10 more runs?
I’m coming for you, fatso.
Fuck Scott Eyre, I’m glad he just got three runs charged to him.
I’ll cap my day by whiffing to end it.
Book closed on Eyre for today. ERA up to 7.15. I agree with Andy … although now Lou will probably get Marmol up.
http://www.eveandersson.com/photos/guatemala/chichicastenango/brooms-large.jpg
I’m where Lou will be sending Eyre after this game.
I would have traded Eyre for a ham sandwhich
Future residence of Fatt Eyre
These new commenters (commentors?) are really, really horrible and unfunny. Just almost impossible to read and enjoy. I think Dolan is the only board regular posting.
you’re a fag paul.
I agree, you’re a fag paul.