If you are 34 years old or younger the only memory you have of the Bears in the Super Bowl is of Rex Grossman’s tiny little hands trying to hold onto a wet football in Miami, the mighty defense being left on the field waaaaay too long and forgetting how to tackle Dominic Rhodes, and Muhsin Muhammad flat out refusing to try to tackle Aaron Hayden on an interception.

But they, at least that game started cool:

You know it’s been a long time when the open includes Jim Nantz making a big deal out of the fact the game is being broadcast in “high definition television.”

Maybe it’s all of those pre-2015 Cubs’ playoff sweeps and/or chokes that caused this, but while I remember every detail of my favorite teams’ very rare postseason successes, I almost immediately block out the losses. And, with the Bears wandering in the woods these days, I fear I won’t even have games to forget.

It’s going to be particularly galling on Sunday to watch the Chiefs and 49ers play with guys who the Bears should have at quarterback.

Jimmy Garoppolo was the 62nd pick in the first round in 2014. The Bears chose two players ahead of him. Kyle Fuller with the 14th pick (which turned out just fine) and Ego Ferguson with the 51st (which turned out just awfully.) Because of Jimmy’s Rolling Meadows and Eastern Illinois University connections he was certainly on the Bears’ radar. But hey, why draft a QB when you are all set with a 31 year old Jay Cutler and the immortal Jimmy Clausen. Oh, the Bears’ did draft a QB you say? Yes, they took David Fales in the 6th round.  Ugh.

The Bears had a second chance to get Garoppolo when the Patriots were entertaining offers before the 2017 season. Granted, Bill Belichick didn’t really want to trade Jimmy, but he was open to it. The Bears supposedly offered up their first round pick, number three overall, and Belichick refused.  He eventually traded Jimmy in-season to the Niners for…one second round pick.  Ugh.

So, the Bears took that number three overall pick and traded up one spot (for no apparent reason) to get the guy they wanted in the 2017 draft. Was it Deshaun Watson, the prolific Clemson QB who had starred in the previous two NCAA Championship games against Alabama? Nope. Was it rocket armed Patrick Mahomes who would go on to be named NFL MVP in his second season? Uhhh, no. It was Mitchell Trubisky, who couldn’t win the starting job at vaunted football factory North Carolina over Marquise Williams, and had to wait until he was a junior to get the job. Excuse me for a minute, I’ll be over here weeping.

But good news, you can see Marquise Williams starting next week because he’s playing for the New York Guardians of the XFL. But he’s not likely to be their starter.

I mean, just how’s a guy supposed to beat out the great Matt McGloin? Maybe Mitch can next year when he’s XFL bound?

The fact that the QBs will be haunting us does not mean it won’t be a good Super Bowl. We got jobbed last year by the worst possible matchup. The NFC and AFC title games both went into overtime, and we could have had a Chiefs-Rams Super Bowl, which would have been great, considering they played that insane Monday night game last year where they combined for more than 100 points. We could have had Chiefs-Saints which would have been fun, or Patriots-Saints. But instead we got a 13-3 slog, and I was left with a bunch of over tickets that I was never close to cashing.

The spread for Super Bowl 54 opened at KC -1.5 and remains there at most sportsbooks reviewed by this site. The moneyline started at -123/+103 in favor of the Chiefs and has skewed ever so slightly in their direction, sitting at -125/+105 as of Monday. The 49ers are better value at that price. Their incessant ground game should be able to give a suspect KC rush defense more than it can handle, shortening the game and keeping Patrick Mahomes’ ever-dangerous arm on the sideline. While KC has the edge at QB, San Francisco should have a small advantage in most other areas of the field.

The game could go a lot of ways. For all of their great defensive numbers (and ludicrous speed on that side of the ball) the Niners ended up in a couple of shoot outs in the second half of the season, beating the Saints 48-46 and the Rams 34-31. The Chiefs are an offensive juggernaut, but they ranked 26th overall in rushing defense, and we all saw what Raheem Mostert (former Bear) did the Packers in the NFC title game. (Well, I only kind of saw it, I don’t watch Packers playoff games.) But, the Chiefs held Derrick Henry to 69 rushing yards (and 61 total yards) in the AFC Championship.

The Chiefs want to make Jimmy beat them. He threw only eight passes against Green Bay. The Niners want to run the ball down the Chiefs throats. The Niners want to make the Chiefs offense one dimensional, but how do you stop a passing attack when the Muppet-voiced QB can throw the ball 70 yards from any arm angle?

I have no real affinity for Andy Reid. He’s a great offensive coach who taught Matt Nagy everything he knows about clock management…which is nothing. So I’m not pulling for the Chiefs just because it’d be cool to see Andy win a Super Bowl. At the same time I could give a shit if Kyle Shanahan atones for being the OC of the horrific 28-3 Falcons’ choke job.

My heart says Mahomes and Garoppolo do get a chance to light it up with the Chiefs overpowering them in the end. But my head says that KC’s playoff trend of falling behind in the first quarter happens again, and they can never quite come all the way back.

My pick: Niners 31, Chiefs 28.