SCENE THREE: CUBS SPRING TRAINING PR OFFICES, 2:45 PM
CARRIE FITCH
How’s the blog thing going?
BRENT DAVID
Not too bad, actually. I set it up over at Blogger and forwarded it to an address at flipout.cubs.com.
CARRIE FITCH
Flip Out? Did you come up with that all by yourself, or did you call a six year old to help you.
BRENT DAVID
Hey, it beat the alternative.
CARRIE FITCH
Which was?
BRENT DAVID
toccobellflippy.cubs.com
CARRIE FITCH
Wow. Heinous.
BRENT DAVID
This is pretty cool, though. The guys at MLB Interactive gave me some logos and stuff to work with. It looks pretty good. See, Mr. Tocco can post articles here, and then readers can post comments. Then he can look through them during the game and answer some on the air. It’s what Mrs…uh..Miss Zapatos wanted.
CARRIE FITCH
First off, what is with you and the titles? Just call him Flip For Brains like everybody else does. And she’s The Big Shoe. How hard is that to remember?
BRENT DAVID
There’s only one problem with this, though.
CARRIE FITCH
What’s that?
BRENT DAVID
I can’t set it up to block rude or nasty messages. If they post it, not only will he see them, but so will everybody looking at flipout.cubs.com.
CARRIE FITCH
Oh, that’s going to be ugly. People hate him. Actually, it’s going to be ugly and hilarious. Don’t be in any hurry to fix that.
SCENE FOUR: NEXT DAY–CUBS SPRING TRAINING BROADCAST BOOTH
FLIP TOCCO
Hey there everybody! Flip Tocco here to get another exciting year of exciting Chicago Cubs baseball started! I’m excited! I’m sure you’re excited! Joining me in the booth, as always, my partner, former Major League All-Star Steve Carter! Steve, are you excited?
STEVE CARTER
I’m excited! And the visibility is great!
FLIP TOCCO
Great! That’s awesome! Totally great!
STEVE CARTER
Great…and exciting!
FLIP TOCCO
It is. Hey, I’ve got some exciting news that’s great, Steve! Thanks to some hard work from the Cubs public relations department, this year you’ll be able to communicate with me directly in the booth during games.
STEVE CARTER
That’s great. I’m really excited about this.
FLIP TOCCO
Just point your Web browser to flipout.cubs.com and I’ve got a blog there that will blow you away! You post a comment or a question and I’ll read some on the air!
STEVE CARTER
Exciting stuff. Great stuff.
FLIP TOCCO
I posted my first entry just minutes ago. For those of you who are in your cars and can’t get to your computer, I’ll read you the first entry.
STEVE CARTER
That’s great! A lot of people don’t have computers in their cars, or TV’s for that matter.
FLIP TOCCO
Right. OK, here it is.
Flip reads the following entry.
Hey there everybody! Baseball’s back, are you as excited about this greatness as I am? Every game, all year, you’ll be able to send me messages right here at Flip Out! Get it, Flip Out!?! Great stuff. Technology is exciting, isn’t it? Just like when Eli Wallach invented the cotton gin, technology is exciting. Try it out during today’s game. My partner Steve Carter and I will be bringing you the action at 2 p.m. Chicago time when the Cubs take on the Giants from Ho Ho Kam Park in Mesa. I’m excited! Flip.
STEVE CARTER
Good stuff. Didn’t Eli Wallach’s brother Tim used to play for the Expos? (laughs)
FLIP TOCCO (serious)
You’re thinking of Whitney Houston.
In the third inning, Flip starts to check the comments being posted on the blog, looking for a couple to share on the air to his TV audience.
FLIP TOCCO
It’s the Baby Bears 3 and the Giants two, as San Francisco bats in the third. Hey, let’s check out some of the comments being posted on flipout.cubs.com. First, I want to thank Dave the Intern for his help with this.
Back in the office, Brent and Carrie are watching the game on TV.
BRENT DAVID
Dave? He is kind of an (bleep) isn’t he?
CARRIE FITCH
Kind of?
BRENT DAVID
I’m gonna look and see what kind of postings he’s gotten.
Brent calls up flipout.cubs.com on his computer and sees…
Flip Out! — Hey, everybody! Spring is here! Comments — 122
BRENT DAVID
Wow, 122 comments already. That’s awesome.
He scrolls through the comments.
From: Tocco Basher, 2:13 p.m.
You suck and Carter blows! Why don’t you homos take it somewhere else!
BRENT DAVID
Wow, that’s not good.
From: Disgruntled CubsFan1908
Tell us how exciting this (bleep) is, (bleep bleeper)!
BRENT DAVID
This is kind of bad, actually.
From: Terri Shiavo
Please, unplug my feeding tube! Make Flip stop! I can’t take it!
BRENT DAVID
That is just unfortunate.
Back in the booth…
FLIP TOCCO
Hey, Steve, here’s one about you. Hey, your fans are taking over my site! (laughs) It says, “Steve is the greatest! Compared to you, Tocco, he’s Edward R. Murrow.”
STEVE CARTER
Who did Murrow play for? The Mets?
FLIP TOCCO
I don’t know, but this is exciting! Ahh, technology! It’s a good thing!
Back in the office…
CARRIE FITCH
This one’s great. It’s from Ura Jizmop and it says, “Flip, you are the best!” You just know he’s going to read that one.
Moments later in the booth…
FLIP TOCCO
Steve, here’s a poster with a great sense of quality! It’s from Ura Jizmop and it says, “Flip you are the best!” Thanks there Mr. or Mrs. Jizmop! That’s great!
Back in the office, the door to The Big Shoe’s office flies open.
LINDA ZAPATOS
Did Flip just say Jizmop on TV? Did he?
—————
On the next, The Front Office:
The Cubs head north for Opening Day. Hall of Famer elect Ryne Sandberg comes to Wrigley and the front office deals with a handicapped season ticket holder.
I hope Kurt Russell plays me in this show. I like his style…not to mention that killer head of hair he’s got.
I can’t believe he finally read one of my e-mails!
Jizmop?!!!! That kills. I am cucrently trying to fit that in to my conversation here at work. Make that, I WILL fit that into my conversation here at work.
What is this show about? It seems like an excuse to make crude jokes. There isn’t much of a plot.
Maybe Fox will buy it?
Who the hell is Mr. Berry?
And for that I apoligize…
Originally Flip Tocco had a different name. Then, I realized it wasn’t mean enough. Must have missed one.
Write a dose about me and my pitching skillz!
That is two nights in a row Baker has used Gremlin/Neifi as his one/two punch off the bench. I am no Hairston fan (yet), but what about Dew Boyz or Hairston? Dusty is digging his grave quickly. Lefty vs. Righty Righty vs. Lefty. How about your best hitter verus a crappy reliever from Arizona? I would like those chances. Good Luck Dusty……See you in rehab!
That’s Doo-bwah.
DJ, I love it when you analyze. 2 wins in the bank, 160 to go…yes!!!
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