Desipio Message Board

General Category => You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Kiss Eight Bucks Goodbye => Topic started by: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2010, 01:45:58 PM

Title: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2010, 01:45:58 PM
Please keep that thread at 0 views.  Has to be the same joke as last time, no?
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: MAD on May 13, 2010, 01:50:19 PM
For me, the first casualty of Andy truncating the archives is that I can't link to that the Sex and the City I thread when Fork did the same thing.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2010, 02:36:39 PM
12 homos viewed it.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: flannj on May 13, 2010, 02:47:34 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2010, 02:36:39 PM
12 homos viewed it.

I was probably one of the first.


And I was completely aware of what it was going to say. Yet I did it anyway.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Richard Chuggar on May 13, 2010, 03:04:22 PM
Quote from: flannj on May 13, 2010, 02:47:34 PM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2010, 02:36:39 PM
12 homos viewed it.

I was probably one of the first.


And I was completely aware of what it was going to say. Yet I did it anyway.

+1
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Slaky on May 13, 2010, 03:36:42 PM
Goddamn these four surgically enhanced cunts and the leathery eggs they kicked their way out of straight to hell.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Slaky on May 13, 2010, 08:34:57 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

I feel like I should be charged money to read stuff like this.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: PenPho on May 13, 2010, 10:24:13 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

I wish you were my daughter's grandfather.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: flannj on May 13, 2010, 11:12:33 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

This is why I pay extra every month for Desipio Platinum.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on May 13, 2010, 11:24:31 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

I'd also like to express, er, my fondness for this particular post.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Gilgamesh on May 14, 2010, 12:37:20 AM
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on May 13, 2010, 11:24:31 PM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

I'd also like to express, er, my fondness for this particular post.

The man's never read a Stew post in his life!!!

Amazing, Stew.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Yeti on May 14, 2010, 07:29:01 AM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

Shit like this reminds me why I'm sad when Al infects Insipio with a virus
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Powdered Toast Man on May 14, 2010, 07:33:48 AM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

I love you, Grandpa.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: CT III on May 14, 2010, 08:15:32 AM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

Other than that, how was the movie?
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Bort on May 14, 2010, 08:43:20 AM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

Going to Desipio without reading a Stewpost is like going to Jerusalem and not wanting to see the Sexateria.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Waco Kid on May 14, 2010, 10:12:35 AM
Quote from: CBStew on May 13, 2010, 07:54:09 PM
Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

Outstanding work here.
Title: Re: Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2
Post by: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on June 02, 2010, 11:36:04 AM
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=4132715

QuoteSATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it's my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls...

... If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes. Good night.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tim-siedell/a-review-of-emsex-and-the_b_593554.html

QuoteAnyway, I bet that's how a lot of Sex and the City fans feel today after seeing Sex and the City 2. I think the girls go to the Middle East or something. At first, in the theater, that may seem new and interesting. But now, after thinking about it a couple of days, you're probably like "WHY DO JEDI KNIGHTS EVEN NEED TO HOLD A LIGHTSABER? WHY DOESN'T YODA USE HIS POWERS TO FIGHT WITH, I DON'T KNOW, 20 OR SO LIGHTSABERS AT A TIME?"