Desipio Message Board

Is there one called "Ass Spray"?

Quote from: RV on December 20, 2008, 10:09:44 AM
Cemetery Rapist
Menstrual Tramps
Farticus
Touched by a Janitor
Religious Vomit
Fag Cop
Sega Genocide
Sweatpants in Public

Those are all outstanding.

I'll just throw down what I threw down here.

Oddly, I haven't heard the Hawaiian one this year yet, and I've heard a lot of X-mas music so far.

Quote from:  Michael Scott

As it turns out, you can't just check someone into rehab against their will.  They have to do it voluntarily.  They have to hit rock bottom.  So I think I know what I need to do, at this point.  I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. 

Umm, I think I can do it. 

I did it with Jan.

6 tickets for Section 436 Row 26 for tonight.  Face is $85.  25-yard line in the top section, west side (Bears sideline).

It's also not going to bet titsballs freezing, so there's that.

I'm going so I can meet anybody that's spontaneous enough to come down and grab any combination of 2,3,4, or all six. 

Quote from: Kerm on December 06, 2008, 06:24:32 PMThis development, of course, forces us to ask ourselves, "Who is willing to murder Larry Rothschild in his sleep so that Greg can be the pitching coach next year?"Huey?

Huh.  I hadn't even thought of that.  I'm really getting old.

However, Maddux himself claims to have not considered a vocation, if he and Bob Verdi are to be believed.

QuoteMost gifted athletes cannot transfer their knowledge, but Maddux's teammates will say he already has imparted an almost supernatural grasp of the game. He cannot teach how to snag a record 18 Gold Gloves, or win at least 15 games in a record 17 consecutive seasons, but he is nicknamed "The Professor" for a reason. When Maddux retires, baseball cannot let that mind go to waste."Pitching coach?" he said. "Haven't really thought about it. Senior golf tour? I'm 42. If I get really good by the time I'm 50, and can actually make it, I'll be up against guys like Lee Janzen, who won two U.S. Opens. Don't like my chances, do you?

His thoughts on golf are hilarious.  He's definitely thought about the Seniors Tour.  Still, "Haven't really thought about (pitching coach)"?  Even though he sees how his less talented brother gets to do it for a living?

If it doesn't work out for the tour, I don't think there'd be any doubt that Maddux would command a pretty penny for his services as a coach. 

Quote from: ~Apex on December 06, 2008, 01:03:38 PM

Quote from: Kerm on December 06, 2008, 12:22:25 PM

Quote from: ~Apex on December 05, 2008, 08:45:31 PM
Fuck Maddux.

How in God's name can you not like Greg Maddux?

Not a big Braves fan. I always enjoyed watching him work but these days I'm increasingly bitter that he spent all his best years elsewhere. Nothing personal.

Maddux' 131 wins in a Cubs uniform puts him 4 behind Rick Reuschel for most wins in a Cubs uniform in your lifetime.

It's not his fault that the team was being run by a clown college in '92.  Fact is, he took less to pitch in Atlanta than he could have gotten pitching for the Yankees.

Fuck Maddux?  Fuck Stanton Cook and Larry Himes.

Quote from: CT II on December 06, 2008, 10:55:52 AM

Quote from: flannj on December 05, 2008, 07:24:56 PM
We hoped to hold the line on all of your seats, as we did in 2007, but it was not possible without hurting the competitiveness of the team or the maintenance of our 94-year old ballpark.

C'mon guys, part of this ticket increase is going to maintain beautiful Wrigley Field.  Al Yellon is okay with it, you should be too.

Plus I'm sure they need the funds for that parking garage that MacPhail promised would be built in exchange for the bleacher expansion project. 

Right?

I'm already laughing in anticipation of what the cue ball will be paying in 2009 to sit 400+ feet from the pitchers mound.

Quote from: CBStew on December 01, 2008, 04:05:33 PM
I think that Henderson will insist that his name be taken off of the ballot, since you have to be retired for five years, and Rickey, like Sammy, doesn't seem to think that his playing days are over.

I'm thinking that Rickey's been waiting to come back now that he is in the Hall of Fame.  Jim Palmer tried that 20 years ago and failed miserably in Spring Training. 

Quote from: Oleg on December 01, 2008, 03:53:48 PM
I can understand the argument for Morris, but I would leave him off.  He had the luck of playing on some pretty awesome teams, he's the anti-Blyleven in my book.

Actually, Blyleven was part of two World Series winners in his career--the '79 Pirates and the '87 Twins--winning a game and pitching well in each of the series.

I went with Blyleven, Dawson, Henderson, Morris and Lee Arthur.  On further thought, I probably should have added Rice and Tommy John.  The rest of 'em can eat the lint out of Ron Santo's prosthetic.

Quote from: Fork on December 01, 2008, 05:33:07 AM

Quote from: Tonker on December 01, 2008, 04:02:00 AM

Quote from: Fork on November 30, 2008, 07:26:25 PM

LFork made a MEATCAKE tonight.

I win at life.

Photos to follow.

Come on, man!  You keep talking about this cake made of meat, the very thing that will make my life complete, and yet you play coy with the pictorial evidence.  I need to see it - to know it exists.  Get them posted!

That looks about as appetizing as Charlie Weis' asshole.

Quote from: Kerm on November 25, 2008, 01:56:21 PM

Quote from: Simmer on November 25, 2008, 12:37:53 PM
Congrats to RD for being a first-time entry into the market game, and good luck on your purchase.  Thanks to all the replies too, this has been some very helpful and worthwhile information.

I know this isn't a spam comment, but it sure reads like one.

Just shut the hell up and send the damn money to Nigeria, please.

Quote from: LoneStarCubFan on November 16, 2008, 10:33:56 PM

Quote from: butthead on November 15, 2008, 01:13:39 PM

Quote from: CT II on November 15, 2008, 12:55:05 PM

Quote from: butthead on November 15, 2008, 12:39:04 PM

Quote from: 5laky on November 15, 2008, 12:36:52 PM

Quote from: butthead on November 15, 2008, 12:32:33 PM

Quote from: 5laky on November 15, 2008, 12:10:13 PM

Quote from: smg on November 15, 2008, 12:00:11 PM

Quote from: Gil Gunderson on November 15, 2008, 10:42:41 AM

Quote from: butthead on November 15, 2008, 10:08:34 AM

Quote from: 5laky on November 15, 2008, 09:38:13 AM
After that article comes out, how does Hendry not call Wood or his agent (or both on some new-fangled conference call function that I don't think has been invented yet) and say, "Hey, Kerry. I fucked this one up. I thought we were doing what's best for you, but you want a one year deal to stay here? You got it bud. How much do you want? It's on."

That's what I'd do.

If Hendry does not offer him a one year deal now, then somebody is lying. Either.....

1. Hendry really doesn't want him back.
or
2. Piniella doesn't want him back.
or
3. Marmol is whining about not being the closer and they are trying to make him happy for some reason.
or
4. Kerry really wouldn't accept a one year deal but is trying to come off as the good guy to the media and fans.

Even though I like Kerry Wood as much as the next Cubs fan, this does seem pretty likely.  Isn't this what most professional athletes say when they leave a city they've been a part of for a while?

He said yesterday that they live here year-round and they're putting their kids in school here.  His wife is from Chicago.  I think he meant it.

I do too. My thinking is that Hendry and the rest of the staff decided it's time to move on.

Well if they can get him for one year, it's stupid to move on. There were two relievers on the team worth a damn last year, and now there is one. It's not like it's a rebuilding year.

Yeah, that's how most of us feel. Unfortunately, we aren't the staff.

We should be the staff. That would be cool.

Sam Zell needs buyers...who's with me?

I'm broke, but I hear there's a guy in Dallas that's interested.

I am. But I don't think I can scare up the cash on such short notice. I can see if Mark Cuban would like to buy in though.

LoneStar would make George Steinbrenner seem like PK Wrigley.

I love bacon. In fact, I'm eating bacon right now.

But this thread is beginning to turn me off bacon.

Quote from: ~Apex on November 15, 2008, 09:22:31 PM

Quote from: Mike D on November 15, 2008, 09:04:15 PM

Quote from: ~Apex on November 15, 2008, 08:18:35 PM
Fuck if I care if you don't like my Hillary rants. I hope they bug the piss out of you.

FAIL

"Bore".  Not bug.

Even better. You can skip them and read a few graphs some of Hoff's Puppies' latest manifesto. That oughta wake up that leg of yours.

Opposite end of the same coin?

No thanks.  That shit makes my anus itch.  Even worse.