Desipio Message Board

Soler, Rizzo, and Bryant are clearly not hitting homeruns because they want to wait until the bleachers are done so the home fans can have a nice souvenir. So, expect the see their dongs down in St. Louis next week. St. Cesspool should be in the low-80s next week, so the warm weather will bring the longball.  Chicks dig the long ball. And Bryant's baby-blues.

But not Slaky. No chick digs Slaky.

Quote from: PANK! on January 15, 2014, 08:55:36 PM
Doc edited his post, haha.

Doc fat-fingered the Enter key when he hit the colon button. It's hard to type with a pistol in your left hand and a lung-rattling cough.

By the way: you just made The List.

Quote from: Slaky on January 15, 2014, 12:51:15 PM
Apparently in Chuck's world the Cubs PR guy should not talk about the mascot.

When the mascot is not around, the young Cubs fans should ask, where's Poochie Clark?

This whole kerfuffle needs a catchy title in the media like "Clark-gate" or "Mascot Mayhem."

Some observations:
1) Who is the sap in the suit? Is it one guy like Benny the Bull, or is it a revolving cast of performers who have clown college degrees to wordlessly interact with kids.
2) If it shows up at Wrigley and roams the stands / aisles, how long before a drunk grabs the head and tosses it to the lower stands? The over-under starts at May 1.
3) Why does the hat have to be on backwards? Is that to appeal to a demographic or just to impart Clark's "plays by his own rules" rakish nature?

The movie was good, but needed a good editor to chop out some of the longer running segments.

[Spoilers]
The fight scene, in particular, should have been halved or quartered.  It tried to top the previous movie's brawl, but instead it just came off as bloated and repetitive.  It was a turd on top of what had been to that point a solid movie with plenty of laughs.

The notion that Burgundy and his team created 24-hour news cycles, complete with breathless weather coverage, wildly speculative "reporting," amped-up car chases, and insipid animal stories was pretty inspired, but it could have been even more cutting.

I seemed to have been the only person in the 1/4 full bijou who laughed heartily at the racial humor. When did it become passé to make fun of black people? A few people uttered uncomfortable titters at the dinner table scene, but previously were fully onboard with laughing at Champ's unwanted same-sex advances. So: Laugh at the gays, ok; but laugh at the blacks, get scorn and off-put nose breathing.

I'll start it off: Slaky is a post whore.

I don't know what compelled me to mosey over to this time-waster, but I guess I craved fisticuffs. I'd skin my smoke-wagon and let hot lead fly, but some good knuckles bruising is a tonic.  It just seems that no Bears playoff football and the emergence of Clark the Punchable Cub (with 43% more douche-y edginess, as embodied by his backwards Cubs hat) has got my dander up.

This should stir the shit-storm:

1) Broncos / 49ers in the Super Bowl. 49ers win by 3.

2) Jeff Samargzass678ga will whine a bunch, finally demanding a trade midseason.

3) Blackhawks will not repeat as Cup Champs, but they'll make the Finals.

4) Rose will come back in late-April to play for a going-nowhere 7th seed team.

5) Slaky will start an Anchorman 2 thread even though he hasn't seen it.

1) Cutler will be concussed onto the IR before too long. Maybe next week.

2) The biggest need to address from 2010 was the offensive line, and they went out and got a rookie (Carimi), a retread (Webb), and signed a center (Spencer), and that's it? Carimi will be nagged by that knee for weeks, Webb is a turnstyle, and Spencer sits on the bench for stretches. You have a BMW (Cutler) that you are parking on a downtown sidestreet (o-line), begging for it to get dinged, scraped, and sideswiped. Until they get a line of guys who can protect, this team is bad, bad, bad.

3) Pay Forte. A lot. He's worth it.

4) Cutler is tougher than people like to admit.  And most people don't like him, so they won't admit it. He is unlikeable. If he played for any other team, I'd want to see him cleated in the throat every quarter. But he's our douchebag. Kinda like Slaky.

Quote from: Slaky on September 14, 2011, 11:21:49 AM
I saw it and after my penis exploded with joy and then reformed as a bigger, mightier penis...

Up to 2.5" now, eh? Congrats. Lose some belly flab and perhaps you'll see it one day.

Quote from: Slaky on September 14, 2011, 11:21:49 AM
It's easily the best thing the Internet has ever given me.

You mean aside from a free forum to post a constant stream of random thoughts, unsolicitied opinions, and pedantic rants?

Thank God I woke up today and remembered I hated you, Slaky. Hell, it's been a while

Quote from: Eli on March 25, 2010, 09:05:57 AM
"I wish that tart would go back to Columbia and take her weird little Brown friends with her."

Great comedy writing here. It puts the misunderstandings high jinx on Three's Company look like dog crap on a sidewalk. Cameron trying to down the spicy food made for some fun visuals, complete with matted, sweaty hair and glistening face. "I feel like I ate the sun!" is a great line, I don't care what anyone says.

The fat gay makes this show, and yes, the ginger has to be humorless and fussy to let the fatty soar. Julie Bowen does have the thankless task of playing the harried mom character, but her tits easily make up for the lack of comedy gold.

Al Bundy plays it nicely understated. His jogging outfit in the pilot was great, and his faint, but persistent homophobia is a source of subtle comedy. His insistence at ringing the doorbell and announcing his arrival upon coming into the home of his gay son is the faithful adherence to the character. He's still not keen about having a gay, and he winces at all the right moments, but you never get the sense he dislikes his son. A realistic take on a father of a gay adult.

Kurt's always been ghey. http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=2185.msg29153#msg29153

Quote from: CT III on March 15, 2010, 02:51:46 PM

Quote from: Doc on March 15, 2010, 02:48:13 PM
And where is the love from Apex, CT, and James Westfall (or whatever your handle is now – I been away)? Righteous fellers would appreciate.

I missed ya Doc, but you know me, I like to keep it understated.

I'm not looking for canoodlin'. This movie is right up your alley. Give you love to the Black Dynamite. Yeah, I said it.

Bump.

It's out on DVD now. It must be re-mentioned. Fork has it right – some of the best quotable dialog. Andy approves, er he would if he watched it. Slaky may approve too, regardless of peeping it or not.

And where is the love from Apex, CT, and James Westfall (or whatever your handle is now – I been away)? Righteous fellers would appreciate.

"Tell him the rest of my money by Wednesday or I'll make him stick himself."

"Sister Betty made some hog marls a man should put an ankle in!"

Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on March 15, 2010, 02:29:51 PM
And, since you're not a climate scientist, your personal opinion on the scientific validity of theories of anthropogenic climate change matters even less than your opinions on sports do.

Yeah!

Quote from: Slack-E on March 14, 2010, 11:01:26 PM

Quote from: Doc on March 14, 2010, 10:41:03 PM
Oddly, I hadn't been to town for might some time. A co-inky-dink, as you townspeople say, that I mosey-ed by this den of iniquities. I thank my lucky stars I spied the posting, as I had been drowning my vile venom with Red Eye and Widow Maker. It was a salve to me that I was able to produce a cattle prod for my favorite dandy. Slaky needs a beatdown every now and a'gin. Post whores are still whores, and they get what they deserve.

Now, kindly explain THI. I been away.

It means he agrees with me that we're glad you're back.

Yes, yes. THI for all.

Quote from: MAD on March 14, 2010, 08:26:51 PM
THI

I love that an old thread was referenced and it somehow resulted in the ringing of a bell that sits outside the general store above the rocking chair in which Doc presumably sits, in some faraway land.

Oddly, I hadn't been to town for might some time. A co-inky-dink, as you townspeople say, that I mosey-ed by this den of iniquities. I thank my lucky stars I spied the posting, as I had been drowning my vile venom with Red Eye and Widow Maker. It was a salve to me that I was able to produce a cattle prod for my favorite dandy. Slaky needs a beatdown every now and a'gin. Post whores are still whores, and they get what they deserve.

Now, kindly explain THI. I been away.

Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on March 09, 2010, 02:47:16 PM
Catcher in the Rye is overrated.  Just like Walter Payton was.

Gaddam, I fergot I hated you, too. Catcher in the Rye is indeed overrated, but Walter Payton was underrated. You have overrated your ability to make proper ratings.