War Horse

[Tonker]

I made the mistake of letting STonk pick what we watched the other night.  Bearing in mind that I've also watched "Hidalgo" and "The Horse Whisperer" at her behest, I should have known better.  We watched friggin' "War Horse".

I have no idea what the book is like, nor do I want to find out, but I can only imagine that it was very, very long and absolutely packed full of description and incident.  It would be one explanation for the fact that, even at two and a half hours (of my life), this film was quite clearly nothing more than a summary or a pastiche of the original story.  People who, I feel sure, played important parts in the original text were here and gone in a matter of minutes and even if you'd been presdisposed to like the film (and I certainly wasn't) you'd have been hard pressed to give a flying fuck about a single one of the caricatures characters.

The script is hokey and predictable even by Hollywood standards; the acting is wooden; the photography is largely uninspired, with the exception of one or two scenes which are hilariously badly shot.  All in all, two thumbs down, way down.

Seriously, Spielberg?  Is this what it's come to?  Are you and George Lucas having a competition?  Fuck you.