Man of Steel

[Tonker]

Acting: terrible
Script: really terrible
Characters: paper thin
Suspense: completely (and I do mean completely) absent
Speech impediments: one
Kevin Costner playing a forty-six-year-old: yup
Action sequences: repetitive, mind-bogglingly so
Times I nodded off: one (I kid you not)
Fucks given by me throughout the entire film: not a single one

I was never a huge fan of the Superman films, to be fair, but the trailer for this one looked okay so we gave it a go.  I wish STonk and I had communicated during the film, though, because if we had, we'd have walked out.  What a fucking travesty.  It shouldn't be possible to make a film this bad, but they've managed it.  Every time Lois Lane was on the screen it was all I could do not to laugh out loud and yet there wasn't one moment of genuine humour in the entire thing.  How does a 2h20 film manage to feel rushed and yet also way, way (waaaaaaaay) too long?  I swear to God, the entire awful, tawdry, turgid experience didn't have one tiny saving grace.  Not one.  I'm so angry at how much of my time and money I've pissed away on this enormous pile of cunt, I can't even think straight.  MY HEAD ASPLODE.  Save yourselves.

[Chuck to Chuck]

So, 2 1/2 stars?

[Chuck to Chuck]

So, I finally got to see the blu-ray last night.  I think Tonk responded to this the way I responded to the Hobbit 2. It's not the worst Superman movie (thanks, Richard Pryor). But it's not that good either.

My god did they pound in the "He's sky Jesus" theme. Does Snyder think we'd miss his point?

[Bort]

So, I finally got to see the blu-ray last night.  I think Tonk responded to this the way I responded to the Hobbit 2. It's not the worst Superman movie (thanks, Richard Pryor John Cryer). But it's not that good either.

My god did they pound in the "He's sky Jesus" theme. Does Snyder think we'd miss his point?

SomebodyapparentlyforgotSupermanIVtheQuestForPeace'd.

[CT III]

So, I finally got to see the blu-ray last night.  I think Tonk responded to this the way I responded to the Hobbit 2. It's not the worst Superman movie (thanks, Richard Pryor John Cryer). But it's not that good either.

My god did they pound in the "He's sky Jesus" theme. Does Snyder think we'd miss his point?

SomebodyapparentlyforgotSupermanIVtheQuestForPeace'd.

Well, now we have to throw down.

[Bort]

So, I finally got to see the blu-ray last night.  I think Tonk responded to this the way I responded to the Hobbit 2. It's not the worst Superman movie (thanks, Richard Pryor John Cryer). But it's not that good either.

My god did they pound in the "He's sky Jesus" theme. Does Snyder think we'd miss his point?

SomebodyapparentlyforgotSupermanIVtheQuestForPeace'd.

Well, now we have to throw down.

It's on.

[Chuck to Chuck]

So, I finally got to see the blu-ray last night.  I think Tonk responded to this the way I responded to the Hobbit 2. It's not the worst Superman movie (thanks, Richard Pryor John Cryer). But it's not that good either.

My god did they pound in the "He's sky Jesus" theme. Does Snyder think we'd miss his point?

SomebodyapparentlyforgotSupermanIVtheQuestForPeace'd.

Well, now we have to throw down.

It's on.

IV over III?  Really?  That's like taking Korey over Soriano.

[Quality Start Machine]

They should have never done anything after Superman II. That had it all - dickish Supe, Terrence Stamp as Zod, Miss Tessmacher Mountains.

That one is still the shit.