Ryne Sandberg Suicide watch

[ChuckD]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

He would rather fall on his sword than let Andy MacPhail axe him. Or he's butthurt over Chase Utley being put on the DL without anyone telling him. Or he can't believe he has to watch all this shitty baseball. Or he just wants to clear more time to catch more Cubs games.

Whatever, the Watch is possibly over. His managerial itch is gone, right?

I was mad at Cubs fans who wanted Ryno to manage the Cubs for so long I forgot how much I love this fucking dude. Hope he finds something productive to do with his time like coach infield for some team that treats him well and appreciates his services.

Sandberg is in my top 5 Cubs of all time, and my second favorite current Cub player:

1978-1984: Bill Buckner
1984-1994: Ryne Sandberg
1994-1995: Shawon Dunston
1996-1997: Sandberg
1998-2008: Kerry Wood
2009-2011: Aramis Ramirez
2012-present: Anthony Rizzo

His obsession with managing made no sense, however. My hope is like Ted Williams, three seasons of managing a mediocre to pungent team with a shitty front office was enough to convince him to return to his original franchise and enjoy life as a Hall of Fame player. Hell, he's not much of a talker but if he declares his desire to entertain Mark Grote and Pat Hughes in the booth, I am sure there's a Country Companies Insurance agency in Plainfield that would employ Coomer.

Andrew Peck likes this.

He was never my favorite player, probably because my sister laid claim to him before I was old enough to follow the team and I wanted to pick a different player. But he was always top 3.

1976-198? - Dave Kingman (had a framed poster on my wall opposite Walter Payton)
1983 - Bill Buckner
1984-1986 - Ron Cey/Rick Sutcliffe
1987-1992 - Andre Dawson/Greg Maddux
1993-1995 - None.
1996-2004 - Sammy Sosa/Kerry Wood
2005-2010 - Aramis Ramirez/Carlos Zambrano
2010 - Present - Starlin Castro/Fuck you

This is funny because it reminds me of how Sandberg came to be my favorite player - like most kids at that time, I loved Bill Buckner, wouldn't shut up about Bill Buckner.  And for some reason that remains lost to this day (although I'm sure my incessant invoking of his name didn't help) my father hated Bill Buckner with a passion he usually reserved for political candidates.  So one day in 1983 when we were throwing the ball around, he stopped me in mid-Buckner daydream and told me in no uncertain terms that Ryne Sandberg was the guy I should emulate.  And since I was 8, I did.

Until JOE KMAK came along, natch.

[Tonker]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

[ChuckD]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

Fine. Here's my actual list:

1989-2015: Andre Dawson/Fuck you

[Oleg]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

Fine. Here's my actual list:

1989-2015: Andre Dawson/Fuck you

1987-1988 Hawk not good enough for you?!?!?!?

[ChuckD]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

Fine. Here's my actual list:

1989-2015: Andre Dawson/Fuck you

1987-1988 Hawk not good enough for you?!?!?!?

Well, I was 3-5 years old during those seasons. My favorite baseball player was probably Donald Duck or something.

[InternetApex]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

Fine. Here's my actual list:

1989-2015: Andre Dawson/Fuck you

You should get that jersey made.

[SKO]

1993-2000, Mark Grace
2001-2003, Sosa
2004-2010: Derrek Lee
2011-2012: Jay Cutler
2013-Present: Tony Ballgame.

/retreats back into exile

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

1980: Steve Dillard
1981-1986: Leon Durham
1987-1992: Sandberg/Dawson
1993-1997: Grace
1998-2003: Kerry Wood
2004-2011: Aramis
2012-Present: Rizzo

[Saul Goodman]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

says the guy with Reed Johnson and Donnie Fucking Murphy on his list

[Slaky]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

Fine. Here's my actual list:

1989-2015: Andre Dawson/Fuck you

It's allowed and the only correct answer.

[Brownie]

1972-1973: Ron Santo
1974-1976: Bill Madlock
1977-1980: Rick Reuschel
1981-1983: Bill Buckner
1984-1994: Ryne Sandberg
1995: Shawon Dunston
1996-1997: Ryne Sandberg
1998-2002: Sammy Sosa
2003-2004: Mark Prior
2005-2008: Carlos Zambrano
2009: Derrek Lee
2010-2011: Aramis Ramirez
2012-Present: Anthony Rizzo

No, no, Chuck, we want your real favorite Cubs player list. I'll start it for you, you can fill it in.


1972-2001: ????
2002-2005: Korey Patterson
2006: Jacque Jones
2007-2013: Alfonso Soriano
2013-present: Starlin Castro

[InternetApex]

1989-2015: Andre Dawson

Far be it from me to tell you that's not allowed.  But that's not allowed.

Fine. Here's my actual list:

1989-2015: Andre Dawson/Fuck you

It's allowed and the only correct answer.

When Sosa hit his 50th home run in 1998, I told myself, while fucked up on shitty weed and even worse beer probably that he had overtaken Dawson as my favorite player of all time. This remained the case until I found out what a fucking weirdo he was and switched back to Dawson.

[Chuck to Chuck]

1972-1973: Ron Santo
1974-1976: Bill Madlock
1977-1980: Rick Reuschel
1981-1983: Bill Buckner
1984-1994: Ryne Sandberg
1995: Shawon Dunston
1996-1997: Ryne Sandberg
1998-2002: Sammy Sosa
2003-2004: Mark Prior
2005-2008: Carlos Zambrano
2009: Derrek Lee
2010-2011: Aramis Ramirez
2012-Present: Anthony Rizzo

No, no, Chuck, we want your real favorite Cubs player list. I'll start it for you, you can fill it in.


1972-2001: ????
2002-2005: Korey Patterson
2006: Jacque Jones
2007-2013: Alfonso Soriano
2013-present: Starlin Castro

Well, before Al Gore invented the intertubes, it was probably Larry Piittner or Paul Reuschel.

[Tony]

He would rather fall on his sword than let Andy MacPhail axe him. Or he's butthurt over Chase Utley being put on the DL without anyone telling him. Or he can't believe he has to watch all this shitty baseball. Or he just wants to clear more time to catch more Cubs games.

Whatever, the Watch is possibly over. His managerial itch is gone, right?

I was mad at Cubs fans who wanted Ryno to manage the Cubs for so long I forgot how much I love this fucking dude. Hope he finds something productive to do with his time like coach infield for some team that treats him well and appreciates his services.

Sandberg is in my top 5 Cubs of all time, and my second favorite current Cub player:

1978-1984: Bill Buckner
1984-1994: Ryne Sandberg
1994-1995: Shawon Dunston
1996-1997: Sandberg
1998-2008: Kerry Wood
2009-2011: Aramis Ramirez
2012-present: Anthony Rizzo

His obsession with managing made no sense, however. My hope is like Ted Williams, three seasons of managing a mediocre to pungent team with a shitty front office was enough to convince him to return to his original franchise and enjoy life as a Hall of Fame player. Hell, he's not much of a talker but if he declares his desire to entertain Mark Grote and Pat Hughes in the booth, I am sure there's a Country Companies Insurance agency in Plainfield that would employ Coomer.

Andrew Peck likes this.

He was never my favorite player, probably because my sister laid claim to him before I was old enough to follow the team and I wanted to pick a different player. But he was always top 3.

1976-198? - Dave Kingman (had a framed poster on my wall opposite Walter Payton)
1983 - Bill Buckner
1984-1986 - Ron Cey/Rick Sutcliffe
1987-1992 - Andre Dawson/Greg Maddux
1993-1995 - None.
1996-2004 - Sammy Sosa/Kerry Wood
2005-2010 - Aramis Ramirez/Carlos Zambrano
2010 - Present - Starlin Castro/Fuck you

This is funny because it reminds me of how Sandberg came to be my favorite player - like most kids at that time, I loved Bill Buckner, wouldn't shut up about Bill Buckner.  And for some reason that remains lost to this day (although I'm sure my incessant invoking of his name didn't help) my father hated Bill Buckner with a passion he usually reserved for political candidates.  So one day in 1983 when we were throwing the ball around, he stopped me in mid-Buckner daydream and told me in no uncertain terms that Ryne Sandberg was the guy I should emulate.  And since I was 8, I did.

I remember having almost that exact same conversation with my dad.

I would constantly bug him with questions about baseball players. Stupid question after stupid question that would eventually get on his nerves because I wouldn't shut up. One day he lost it after about a million random baseball questions because I asked him who was better, Bruce Sutter or some other starter that I can't remember. He kind of snapped and told me you couldn't compare a starter and a reliever and to stop with the constant questions.

Anyway, one day I asked him if Bill Buckner was the best player on the Cubs. He said nope, it was Ryne Sandberg. And I was a Sandberg guy from that day on.