Derrek Lee Total Sploogefest Love-a-Thon Thread

[DwightKurtz]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent playing cards and shooting the shit. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

...Paul?

[PTanner]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent playing cards and shooting the shit. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

...Paul?

Those Indiana boys know ways of love we can only learn at Sea World.

[morpheus]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent playing cards and shooting the shit. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

I'm beginning to see the true roots of SSM.

[Uncouth Sloth]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent bent over, touching my toes, and licking the playing cards and shooting the shit off their jimmies. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

Sorry. Had to.  I'm uncomfortable with emotions.  No hard feelins?

[morpheus]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent playing cards and shooting the shit. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.

Lee HarveyApex, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow?  I want to party with you, cowboy. The two of us together, forget it.

[Al Czervik]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent playing cards and shooting the shit. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

Can we get Daniel Stern to do the voice over work on this?

Teh W'nder Yeahrs

[Internet Apex]

My sophomore year of high school I was not that popular to start off. I was pretty much an asshole to anybody and everybody. Had a smart mouth and all that. I had a group of friends who were not well liked by the majority of the popular crowd because we were assholes and we liked to drink and smoke weed and punch people in their stupid fucking face.

On the cross country squad I was a bit of an outcast. The older kids didn't know me and the younger kids hated my guts.People clowned on me for hanging out with black kids, listening to rap and constantly using hip hop slang.

But this one night, at cross country camp... we saw this big as group of chicks from some other school having their cc camp in the same state park we were in. It occurred to me that we could easily wait until our coach passed out that night and sneak over to their camp to spy and maybe spot some titties or some bush or something. Oh, the wild ideas one gets when he's only 15 and tortured constantly by the horrors of masculinity.

So I pitched the idea to the team and some of the older guys were in. Some of the younger ones too. But a few of the rest were like hells to the no, we'll get caught and they'll call park patrol and blah blah blah. I called them pussies and a few more joined the party. Night fell and the coach hit the rack so off we went. Flashlights in hand, we hiked the trail over to where the chicks were camping. As we approached the campsite we killed the lights and snuck up close. The place was mostly dark but there was one tent still lit up and we could hear laughing girls inside. And a silhouette! We also saw a silhouette of a chick with big tits. She appeared to be clothed but we pointed and laughed and admired her form nonetheless. Then their light went off. So we bounced.

Disappointed we walked back to the camp. When we got there one of the kids who wouldn't join us was waiting outside the tent. He asked us what happened, had we seen any chicks. And I said quickly and without thinking, "Yeah, we straight up got our Jimmies waxed man, all of us." Hilarity ensued. I didn't think it was all that funny but these guys were in stitches. They laughed so hard they woke up the coach who ran out of his tent and demanded we all go back to bed. That night the older kids let me stay up in the big tent bent over, touching my toes, and licking the playing cards and shooting the shit off their jimmies. They realized the Pex wasn't so fuckin' bad.

That year was a big year for me and my pitiful band of ruffians. When it was over we had been kicked out of school, harrangued by the cops and had our Jimmies waxed enough times to start our own fledgling in crowd. An edgier, more raucous kind of in crowd. A bit like this one, in fact.

So what's the moral of this story? Shit if I know. But I do know that getting one's Jimmy waxed is a good thing. And sometimes your best laid plans to get laid may end in fail. But you learn something every time you strike out. Or something. And I'm a fuckin' prick who uses hip hop slang in everyday speech for effect or without even realizing it. 

Sorry. Had to.  I'm uncomfortable with emotions.  No hard feelins?

None. I knew I had it coming.

[Taylor2]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

[PTanner]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

He was unstoppable unless you happened to be wearing white and black and were standing 60'6" away on a hill of dirt.  0-6 with 7 LOB.  Yikes.  Even Felix Pie got a hit.

[PTanner]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

He was unstoppable unless you happened to be wearing white and black and were standing 60'6" away on a hill of dirt.  0-6 with 7 LOB.  Yikes.  Even Felix Pie got a hit.

nobody's ever done a 162 game hitting streak. I wouldn't sweat it.

[Three times a JD]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

He was unstoppable unless you happened to be wearing white and black and were standing 60'6" away on a hill of dirt.  0-6 with 7 LOB.  Yikes.  Even Felix Pie got a hit.

nobody's ever done a 162 game hitting streak. I wouldn't sweat it.

That's what YOU think.  I got a hit in every game of my career from Pee-Wee to high school.  But where's my freakin' statue?  Where's my HOF plaque? 

[Slaky+]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

He was unstoppable unless you happened to be wearing white and black and were standing 60'6" away on a hill of dirt.  0-6 with 7 LOB.  Yikes.  Even Felix Pie got a hit.

nobody's ever done a 162 game hitting streak. I wouldn't sweat it.

That's what YOU think.  I got a hit in every game of my career from Pee-Wee to high school.  But where's my freakin' statue?  Where's my HOF plaque? 

Um, we just got the lab reports back. You were on steroids. Now all of your so-called fans hate you.

Sorry, man.

[Taylor2]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

That reminds me I need to get my jimmy waxed after my aardsma this afternoon.

[PTanner]

Great play by D Lee to get the DP.

The man's unstoppable. His jimmy is freshly waxed.

That reminds me I need to get my jimmy waxed after my aardsma this afternoon.

Just beware of the Weurtz.