Single Greatest Thread Ever

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

(h/t Slaky)

This may dry your tears. At least a little bit.

Only tears were after winning another Cup. Tears o' joy. Brandon Saad was a fine contributor and is an excellent young player. He'll have a really good career. Maybe a great one. Godspeed, bearded Assyrian warrior.

I'm excited to see some of these newbies get a shot. Finally the Hawks have a couple Russians - seems like it's been forever. Anisimov and Panarin will hopefully hit it off. I'm starting to feel like I want Desjardins to take a nice deal somewhere else too. Let's get the kids in here.

I think the biggest question is does Sharp end up staying now? He might.

I assumed they tried dealing Sharp and couldn't find any takers.  Could be a blessing.  Many people (myself included) figured Sharp was just showing his age last year and was nearing the end.  He still might but as some people pointed out--most articulately Jen LC--he was actually rather unlucky last year.  Hopefully that evens out in 2015-16 since it looks like he'll still be schlepping his teammates' wives playing for the men of 4 feathers.

He's carrying his teammates' wives?  What a rat.

Or did you mean schtupping?

He breaks into their houses, carries them off and then schtupps them.

This.

[Slaky]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

(h/t Slaky)

This may dry your tears. At least a little bit.

Only tears were after winning another Cup. Tears o' joy. Brandon Saad was a fine contributor and is an excellent young player. He'll have a really good career. Maybe a great one. Godspeed, bearded Assyrian warrior.

I'm excited to see some of these newbies get a shot. Finally the Hawks have a couple Russians - seems like it's been forever. Anisimov and Panarin will hopefully hit it off. I'm starting to feel like I want Desjardins to take a nice deal somewhere else too. Let's get the kids in here.

I think the biggest question is does Sharp end up staying now? He might.

I assumed they tried dealing Sharp and couldn't find any takers.  Could be a blessing.  Many people (myself included) figured Sharp was just showing his age last year and was nearing the end.  He still might but as some people pointed out--most articulately Jen LC--he was actually rather unlucky last year.  Hopefully that evens out in 2015-16 since it looks like he'll still be schlepping his teammates' wives playing for the men of 4 feathers.

He's carrying his teammates' wives?  What a rat.

Or did you mean schtupping?

He breaks into their houses, carries them off and then schtupps them.

This.

Ah the old schlepp and schtupp. A very dramatic way to ruin a man's life.

[ChuckD]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

(h/t Slaky)

This may dry your tears. At least a little bit.

Only tears were after winning another Cup. Tears o' joy. Brandon Saad was a fine contributor and is an excellent young player. He'll have a really good career. Maybe a great one. Godspeed, bearded Assyrian warrior.

I'm excited to see some of these newbies get a shot. Finally the Hawks have a couple Russians - seems like it's been forever. Anisimov and Panarin will hopefully hit it off. I'm starting to feel like I want Desjardins to take a nice deal somewhere else too. Let's get the kids in here.

I think the biggest question is does Sharp end up staying now? He might.

I assumed they tried dealing Sharp and couldn't find any takers.  Could be a blessing.  Many people (myself included) figured Sharp was just showing his age last year and was nearing the end.  He still might but as some people pointed out--most articulately Jen LC--he was actually rather unlucky last year.  Hopefully that evens out in 2015-16 since it looks like he'll still be schlepping his teammates' wives playing for the men of 4 feathers.

He's carrying his teammates' wives?  What a rat.

Or did you mean schtupping?

He breaks into their houses, carries them off and then schtupps them.

This.

Ah the old schlepp and schtupp. A very dramatic way to ruin a man's life.

We used to buy grits from Schlepp 'n' Schtupp when we were in high school. Couldn't have passed for 15 years old let alone 18.  Good on 'em for looking the other way.

[thehawk]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

Although considering Versteeg and now Morin, we may be deleting this in 2017-8  (I hope).

[InternetApex]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

(h/t Slaky)

This may dry your tears. At least a little bit.

Only tears were after winning another Cup. Tears o' joy. Brandon Saad was a fine contributor and is an excellent young player. He'll have a really good career. Maybe a great one. Godspeed, bearded Assyrian warrior.

I'm excited to see some of these newbies get a shot. Finally the Hawks have a couple Russians - seems like it's been forever. Anisimov and Panarin will hopefully hit it off. I'm starting to feel like I want Desjardins to take a nice deal somewhere else too. Let's get the kids in here.

I think the biggest question is does Sharp end up staying now? He might.

I assumed they tried dealing Sharp and couldn't find any takers.  Could be a blessing.  Many people (myself included) figured Sharp was just showing his age last year and was nearing the end.  He still might but as some people pointed out--most articulately Jen LC--he was actually rather unlucky last year.  Hopefully that evens out in 2015-16 since it looks like he'll still be schlepping his teammates' wives playing for the men of 4 feathers.

He's carrying his teammates' wives?  What a rat.

Or did you mean schtupping?

He breaks into their houses, carries them off and then schtupps them.

This.

Ah the old schlepp and schtupp. A very dramatic way to ruin a man's life.

We used to buy grits from Schlepp 'n' Schtupp when we were in high school. Couldn't have passed for 15 years old let alone 18.  Good on 'em for looking the other way.

This made me lool. I didn't know people in other places called cigarettes "grits." We had Schlepp 'n' Schtupp in buttpuddle too. I used to steal MD 2020 and Boone's Farm from there all the time. Lost my virginity to their magazine rack.

[ChuckD]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

(h/t Slaky)

This may dry your tears. At least a little bit.

Only tears were after winning another Cup. Tears o' joy. Brandon Saad was a fine contributor and is an excellent young player. He'll have a really good career. Maybe a great one. Godspeed, bearded Assyrian warrior.

I'm excited to see some of these newbies get a shot. Finally the Hawks have a couple Russians - seems like it's been forever. Anisimov and Panarin will hopefully hit it off. I'm starting to feel like I want Desjardins to take a nice deal somewhere else too. Let's get the kids in here.

I think the biggest question is does Sharp end up staying now? He might.

I assumed they tried dealing Sharp and couldn't find any takers.  Could be a blessing.  Many people (myself included) figured Sharp was just showing his age last year and was nearing the end.  He still might but as some people pointed out--most articulately Jen LC--he was actually rather unlucky last year.  Hopefully that evens out in 2015-16 since it looks like he'll still be schlepping his teammates' wives playing for the men of 4 feathers.

He's carrying his teammates' wives?  What a rat.

Or did you mean schtupping?

He breaks into their houses, carries them off and then schtupps them.

This.

Ah the old schlepp and schtupp. A very dramatic way to ruin a man's life.

We used to buy grits from Schlepp 'n' Schtupp when we were in high school. Couldn't have passed for 15 years old let alone 18.  Good on 'em for looking the other way.

This made me lool. I didn't know people in other places called cigarettes "grits." We had Schlepp 'n' Schtupp in buttpuddle too. I used to steal MD 2020 and Boone's Farm from there all the time. Lost my virginity to their magazine rack.

Grits/squares/squints/cancers were what we called them. Probably a few other things that I can't remember.

[Oleg]

Brandon Saad.

*sobs*

(h/t Slaky)

This may dry your tears. At least a little bit.

Only tears were after winning another Cup. Tears o' joy. Brandon Saad was a fine contributor and is an excellent young player. He'll have a really good career. Maybe a great one. Godspeed, bearded Assyrian warrior.

I'm excited to see some of these newbies get a shot. Finally the Hawks have a couple Russians - seems like it's been forever. Anisimov and Panarin will hopefully hit it off. I'm starting to feel like I want Desjardins to take a nice deal somewhere else too. Let's get the kids in here.

I think the biggest question is does Sharp end up staying now? He might.

I assumed they tried dealing Sharp and couldn't find any takers.  Could be a blessing.  Many people (myself included) figured Sharp was just showing his age last year and was nearing the end.  He still might but as some people pointed out--most articulately Jen LC--he was actually rather unlucky last year.  Hopefully that evens out in 2015-16 since it looks like he'll still be schlepping his teammates' wives playing for the men of 4 feathers.

He's carrying his teammates' wives?  What a rat.

Or did you mean schtupping?

He breaks into their houses, carries them off and then schtupps them.

This.

Ah the old schlepp and schtupp. A very dramatic way to ruin a man's life.

We used to buy grits from Schlepp 'n' Schtupp when we were in high school. Couldn't have passed for 15 years old let alone 18.  Good on 'em for looking the other way.

This made me lool. I didn't know people in other places called cigarettes "grits." We had Schlepp 'n' Schtupp in buttpuddle too. I used to steal MD 2020 and Boone's Farm from there all the time. Lost my virginity to their magazine rack.

Grits/squares/squints/cancers were what we called them. Probably a few other things that I can't remember.

I have a buddy with whom I used to work (who also happens to know Huey and Tonker, of all people) who called them grits. We'd laugh and laugh in front of the CDW building about it.

[Bort]

For obvious reasons, we never called them grits where I grew up, and until I read the follow-up comments, I was as baffled as Rabbi Huard Huardstein being asked to help schlep a couch up some stairs.

[Bort]

DPD.

My preferred term for them was "nails."

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Smokes and cancer sticks was the extent of my nomenclature back when I was smoking cigarettes in high school.  I'm tempted to take up the habit full-time again just so I can refer to them as grits.

[InternetApex]

Smokes and cancer sticks was the extent of my nomenclature back when I was smoking cigarettes in high school.  I'm tempted to take up the habit full-time again just so I can refer to them as grits.

Crush a heater. Bust a grit. Have a f*g. F*g it up real good.

I never liked tobacco but I've seen it done.

[Tonker]

Fags.  Tabs.  Gaspers.  Snouts.

"Can I ponce a fag, mate?"

I gave up, by the way - getting on for two years ago now.  I don't miss it at all, although I do occasionally dream about it and then wake up really angry with myself for a couple of seconds.

[ChuckD]

Fags.  Tabs.  Gaspers.  Snouts.

"Can I ponce a fag, mate?"

I gave up, by the way - getting on for two years ago now.  I don't miss it at all, although I do occasionally dream about it and then wake up really angry with myself for a couple of seconds.

I picked it back up a few months ago and am in the process of quitting again with the help of an e-cig.

If there was a way to only smoke the cigarettes you smoke right after waking up on a cool, foggy morning with a nice cup of coffee, sign me up for a life subscription. All the other cigarettes you smoke will pale in comparison to those ones. I still miss those ones.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Fags.  Tabs.  Gaspers.  Snouts.

"Can I ponce a fag, mate?"

I gave up, by the way - getting on for two years ago now.  I don't miss it at all, although I do occasionally dream about it and then wake up really angry with myself for a couple of seconds.

I picked it back up a few months ago and am in the process of quitting again with the help of an e-cig.

If there was a way to only smoke the cigarettes you smoke right after waking up on a cool, foggy morning with a nice cup of coffee, sign me up for a life subscription. All the other cigarettes you smoke will pale in comparison to those ones. I still miss those ones.

Yeah cigarettes and coffee went together like ham and eggs when I was in college.  It took me a while to separate the interdependent relationship between the 2.

[Bort]

Fags.  Tabs.  Gaspers.  Snouts.

"Can I ponce a fag, mate?"

I gave up, by the way - getting on for two years ago now.  I don't miss it at all, although I do occasionally dream about it and then wake up really angry with myself for a couple of seconds.

I picked it back up a few months ago and am in the process of quitting again with the help of an e-cig.

If there was a way to only smoke the cigarettes you smoke right after waking up on a cool, foggy morning with a nice cup of coffee, sign me up for a life subscription. All the other cigarettes you smoke will pale in comparison to those ones. I still miss those ones.

Yeah cigarettes and coffee went together like ham and eggs when I was in college.  It took me a while to separate the interdependent relationship between the 2.

The tough one for me was walking places without a smoke in my hand. I used to chain smoke when I was on foot. I could time all my walks in Charleston by how many cigarettes I smoked during them. It took 3 to get to one of my crappy part-time jobs, but only 2 for the other one. The first time I tried to walk to work after my first try at quitting was hellish. I had no idea what to do with my hands.