Single Greatest Thread Ever

[Saul Goodman]

Jason Hammel.

Everyone's favorite first-half Cy Young/second-half garbage fire reportedly has a two-year deal with the Royals for $16 (!) million. He and Jorge can cry together if they miss the playoffs.

I'm not sure what the (!) after 16 million is for. That's less money per year than the Cubs gave him, it's a pretty bargain contract. Unless that was what you were commenting on because you expected him to get more. It's not a bad deal for the Royals.

Yup... And maybe it's the post-WS glow, but I'm perfectly fine wishing people like him all the best. The only WS Cub I won't wish well to is Aroldis. Fuck him

Yeah Hammel barely registered on my list of hate worthy Cubs outside of days where he was getting shelled. On the whole he was a slightly better Jason Marquis, a perfectly acceptable back-end starter who only stood out on days when he sucked because he was on a team where everyone around him was far better than he was. His prickly response to being yanked early from starts is pretty standard for a world class athlete who naturally has to have more self-confidence than most in order to do his job well. I wish him well unless he somehow ends up being flipped to St. Louis at the deadline.

Slightly better Jason Marquis ... ouch.

It's harsh-sounding but Marquis basically gave the Cubs two years of ~180 IP and a 101 ERA+. That's like the dictionary definition of "Perfectly Tolerable 5th Starter You Leave Off of the Postseason Roster." Hammel the last two years gave them ~170 IP and 103 ERA+. So, slightly better Jason Marquis.

EDITED: what Tonk said.

Fake news. I hate Jason Marquis.

Anti-Semetic much?

How bad at being Jewish are you that you can't even spell anti-Semitic right?

Pretty sure it's been established that no matter how bad a Jew Chuck is, he's miles behind Penfoe & Oleg.

Chuck is basically a rabbi compared to us. 

Oleg doesn't even like Chinese food and my kids have Irish names.

I'm not the world's greatest speller.  Drives my ex-English teacher mother nuts.

Besides, you know what I meant. Message delivered, irregardless of spelling, syntax or grammar.

Can't tell whether to give you credit for trolling or not.

Cha-ching

Hey!  What am I, chopped liver?  Cha-ching

Chuck is an anti-Semantic.

Damn it. I laughed.

[SKO]

Jason Hammel.

Everyone's favorite first-half Cy Young/second-half garbage fire reportedly has a two-year deal with the Royals for $16 (!) million. He and Jorge can cry together if they miss the playoffs.

I'm not sure what the (!) after 16 million is for. That's less money per year than the Cubs gave him, it's a pretty bargain contract. Unless that was what you were commenting on because you expected him to get more. It's not a bad deal for the Royals.

Yup... And maybe it's the post-WS glow, but I'm perfectly fine wishing people like him all the best. The only WS Cub I won't wish well to is Aroldis. Fuck him

Yeah Hammel barely registered on my list of hate worthy Cubs outside of days where he was getting shelled. On the whole he was a slightly better Jason Marquis, a perfectly acceptable back-end starter who only stood out on days when he sucked because he was on a team where everyone around him was far better than he was. His prickly response to being yanked early from starts is pretty standard for a world class athlete who naturally has to have more self-confidence than most in order to do his job well. I wish him well unless he somehow ends up being flipped to St. Louis at the deadline.

Slightly better Jason Marquis ... ouch.

It's harsh-sounding but Marquis basically gave the Cubs two years of ~180 IP and a 101 ERA+. That's like the dictionary definition of "Perfectly Tolerable 5th Starter You Leave Off of the Postseason Roster." Hammel the last two years gave them ~170 IP and 103 ERA+. So, slightly better Jason Marquis.

EDITED: what Tonk said.

Fake news. I hate Jason Marquis.

Anti-Semetic much?

How bad at being Jewish are you that you can't even spell anti-Semitic right?

Pretty sure it's been established that no matter how bad a Jew Chuck is, he's miles behind Penfoe & Oleg.

Chuck is basically a rabbi compared to us. 

Oleg doesn't even like Chinese food and my kids have Irish names.

I'm not the world's greatest speller.  Drives my ex-English teacher mother nuts.

Besides, you know what I meant. Message delivered, irregardless of spelling, syntax or grammar.

Can't tell whether to give you credit for trolling or not.

Cha-ching

Hey!  What am I, chopped liver?  Cha-ching

Chuck is an anti-Semantic.

Damn it. I laughed.

I also laughed.

[Saul Goodman]

Travis Wood.

He gets a two-year, $12MM guarantee from the Royals, who know the only way to replace Yordano Ventura is by signing all the mediocre-to-decent-in-relief former Cubs.  Surprised KC didn't win a bidding war with Arizona for Cubs legend Brian Matusz.

[Tonker]

Travis Wood.

He gets a two-year, $12MM guarantee from the Royals, who know the only way to replace Yordano Ventura is by signing all the mediocre-to-decent-in-relief former Cubs.  Surprised KC didn't win a bidding war with Arizona for Cubs legend Brian Matusz.

My bollockyoghurt and chapchutney are sad.

[Quality Start Machine]

Travis Wood.

He gets a two-year, $12MM guarantee from the Royals, who know the only way to replace Yordano Ventura is by signing all the mediocre-to-decent-in-relief former Cubs.  Surprised KC didn't win a bidding war with Arizona for Cubs legend Brian Matusz.

I was honestly expecting him to show up in Mesa today, fucking up the outfield by doing donuts on an ATV, Kenny Powers style.

[Canadouche]

Travis Wood.

He gets a two-year, $12MM guarantee from the Royals, who know the only way to replace Yordano Ventura is by signing all the mediocre-to-decent-in-relief former Cubs.  Surprised KC didn't win a bidding war with Arizona for Cubs legend Brian Matusz.

I was honestly expecting him to show up in Mesa today, fucking up the outfield by doing donuts on an ATV, Kenny Powers style.

Me too. The Cubs stealing players from other teams at the last minute in Spring Training needs to become an annual tradition.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Jay Cutler

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's say that for now, Munenori Kawasaki.

Even though nobody will be surprised if he lands in Iowa next to Chris Coghlan on minor league deals.

[Saul Goodman]

Mack Seizure.

[PenFoe]

Gerardo Concepcion, who should best be remembered as the guy who got the totally undeserving call-up over Armando Rivero last year.

[Quality Start Machine]

Gerardo Concepcion, who should best be remembered as the guy who got the totally undeserving call-up over Armando Rivero last year.

[Eli]

Gerardo Concepcion, who should best be remembered as the guy who got the totally undeserving call-up over Armando Rivero last year.

Wasn't the theory that the Cubs only signed him because he was buddies with Soler and they wanted another recruiting chip?

[Quality Start Machine]

Mr. Met.

Meanwhile, we can't even get Clark the Cub to put on a damn pair of pants.

[Brownie]

Mr. Met.

Meanwhile, we can't even get Clark the Cub to put on a damn pair of pants.

I think the Mets found a place in the organization for Nails.

[Saul Goodman]

Mr. Met.

Meanwhile, we can't even get Clark the Cub to put on a damn pair of pants.

Mr. Met isn't going anywhere. One particular guy who plays Mr. Met got fired. Stretching the concept of this thread a little far. But what do you expect when one's chosen source is the world's number-one authority on all things Mr. Met: the Chicago Tribune.