Single Greatest Thread Ever

[Eli]

No it wasn't.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

No it wasn't.

[BH]

Didn't marmol leak the trade? Why wouldn't the Cubs just sign Haren, keep Marmol, hope both do well and trade two players instead of just one?

[Tonker]

Didn't marmol leak the trade? Why wouldn't the Cubs just sign Haren, keep Marmol, hope both do well and trade two players instead of just one?

Right.  The fact that LAA subsequently declined Haren's option meant that the Cubs were the only team interested, so why the fuck were they trying to trade at all?  There are only two explanations: either the Cubs thought somebody else was in for Haren (which I don't buy); or they were absolutely fucking gagging to get rid of Marmol and his contract (which I do).

[Chuck to Chuck]

Didn't marmol leak the trade? Why wouldn't the Cubs just sign Haren, keep Marmol, hope both do well and trade two players instead of just one?

Right.  The fact that LAA subsequently declined Haren's option meant that the Cubs were the only team interested, so why the fuck were they trying to trade at all?  There are only two explanations: either the Cubs thought somebody else was in for Haren (which I don't buy); or they were absolutely fucking gagging to get rid of Marmol and his contract (which I do).

The third angle is that the Cubs need starters just to get through 2013 more than they need closers.  I mean, there's 162 games to play and just who will start them?  If the money were equal, and both had expiring contracts in 2013, maybe you take the starter and just slog through the year.

[BH]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

[Bort]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

[Quality Start Machine]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

[thehawk]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

Have I mentioned this week that I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns.

[CT III]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

Have I mentioned this week that I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

But with this wacky stunt, Dempster is sure to win us back!

Seriously though, should we take bets?  Is he just going to do the terrible Harry Caray impression, or will he go for the full on Ferris Bueller "Donke Schoen" re-enactment?

[Slaky]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

Have I mentioned this week that I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

But with this wacky stunt, Dempster is sure to win us back!

Seriously though, should we take bets?  Is he just going to do the terrible Harry Caray impression, or will he go for the full on Ferris Bueller "Donke Schoen" re-enactment?

Also is that bartender dickhead going to be there? The guy who inexplicably is allowed to voice his opinion on television?

[morpheus]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

I agree, it's going to be maginficent.

[CBStew]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

I agree, it's going to be maginficent.

Splel check is a drag to use.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

Have I mentioned this week that I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns.

I work with a guy who used to be a manager at Harry Caray's and he's confirmed my suspicion that Grant DePorter is a ginormous douche cannon.  He could not, however, confirm my suspicion that he's boning Old Widow Dutchie Caray.

[CT III]

I still hope Theo sweet talks dempster into signing a long term cheap deal to play for his favorite Kubbeez, with the notion that he'll be in the booth with Len when he retires, where he can do unlimited impersonations.  That the cubs tell him all negativity towards him was forgotten, throw him a big parade through the streets of chicago. And at the end of the parade sits the GM of Baltimore, who then informs Dempster that he's been traded. Hopefully for Brian Roberts.

I hate that I laughed at this.

The Magnificent Mile just got more maginficent.

Have I mentioned this week that I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns?

I hate Grant DePorter with the force of 1,000 suns.

I work with a guy who used to be a manager at Harry Caray's and he's confirmed my suspicion that Grant DePorter is a ginormous douche cannon.  He could not, however, confirm my suspicion that he's boning Old Widow Dutchie Caray.

C'mon guy, either confirm suspicions or don't confirm suspicions - PICK A LANE!