Single Greatest Thread Ever

[PenFoe]

Look I'd like to agree with Pen that this regime has generally been good about taking low-risk fliers on potentially flippable assets and then being able to flip those assets.

But I also would like to endorse this strategy of picking everything else Pen has said apart and calling him an assface.

I agree. Is this the point where we mention that Sweeney and Fujikawa are on two year deals? And Wesley Wright wants to know who he's gotta bang to get rated.

Did we not also have to deal with the Ian Stewart Experience for more than one year as well? I feel like Pen (or Ol' Assface as we like to call him) spent very little time properly researching this list. Perhaps he used Chuck's datase.

Ahem

I'm sure I'm missing about 20 guys, but that's quick check.

[Yeti]

Jose Veras

What's the track record on 1-year signings so far?

Not including any trades or larger deals. Just the quick gambles that seem to be generally to turn into prospects (or guys they can keep.)

Good:
Paul Maholm
Jason Hammel
Scott Feldman
Emilio Bonifacio
Nate Schierholtz (if there was a "meh" category, he's there, but he's more good than bad.)

Bad:
Jose Veras
Scott Baker
James McDonald
Ian Stewart
Kyuji Fujikawa
Chris Coghlan
Dioner Navarro (played decent, nothing in return)
John Baker
George Kotteras
Joe Mather
Ryan Sweeney
Brent Lillibridge

I'm sure I'm missing about 20 guys, but that's quick check.
Considering the low-risk nature of all of these, that feels like decent return to me (having done no comparison analysis of other teams.)

Dioner in the bad category? You go straight to hell. Dioner was awesome. I don't think 1-year deals should be judged solely on whether they got something in return. They paid the guy less than $2 M and got almost $9 M of value out of him.

Isn't that the point of this whole thing?

Either they get something in return or deem the guy worth keeping?

So stopgap production for one season doesn't qualify as getting something in return? Or do you think they should have deemed Dioner "worth keeping" to the tune of two years, $8MM? Have I moved your stupid conversation far enough yet, assface?

[Saul Goodman]

Look I'd like to agree with Pen that this regime has generally been good about taking low-risk fliers on potentially flippable assets and then being able to flip those assets.

But I also would like to endorse this strategy of picking everything else Pen has said apart and calling him an assface.

I agree. Is this the point where we mention that Sweeney and Fujikawa are on two year deals? And Wesley Wright wants to know who he's gotta bang to get rated.

Did we not also have to deal with the Ian Stewart Experience for more than one year as well? I feel like Pen (or Ol' Assface as we like to call him) spent very little time properly researching this list. Perhaps he used Chuck's datase.

Yeah, I'm not so sure Stewart really counts for this lofty and important discourse.  He's not really a "quick gamble" since they traded for him instead of just paying cash.  Anyway, what's important is we got to enjoy one and a half years of the Ian Stewart Experience before he ripped the front office on Twitter and got his ass released in June 2013, a year to the day tomorrow.

#blessed

[SKO]

Patrick Mannelly

[Shooter]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Where the hell is Bort?

Some barbecue for suburban statists?

[Saul Goodman]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

[Shooter]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

I think I hope Straily isn't Travis Wood 2.0.

[Saul Goodman]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

I think I hope Straily isn't Travis Wood 2.0.

My bad, I meant Kershaw 2.0.

[Eli]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

The Cubs won't need pitchers because they basically have all the hitters now, so how is anyone going to score against them?

[Bort]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Where the hell is Bort?

Some barbecue for suburban statists?

I am smoking a brisket right now.

AND STROKING MY SHADENFREUDEBONER.

[CBStew]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

The Cubs won't need pitchers because they basically have all the hitters now, so how is anyone going to score against them?

Shortstops.  We need more shortstops.  You can never have too many shortstops. 

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

The Cubs won't need pitchers because they basically have all the hitters now, so how is anyone going to score against them?

Shortstops.  We need more shortstops.  You can never have too many shortstops. 

They can always flip one in a trade for a pitcher like Samardzija.

[Eli]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

The Cubs won't need pitchers because they basically have all the hitters now, so how is anyone going to score against them?

Shortstops.  We need more shortstops.  You can never have too many shortstops. 

If someone can play shortstop, they can probably play anywhere else.

[Tony]

Snork and Jason Hammel.

Since the Blue Jays weren't going to give up Stroman or Sanchez, Russell is a pretty good get.  Thought they'd target a pitcher as the centerpiece, but adding a 20-year-old consensus top 20 prospect regardless of position isn't a bad idea.  According to Jason Parks the Cubs will now have #3, #5, #6, and #18 in BP's midseason Top 50.  And Straily could be Travis Wood 2.0.

What do you morans think?

The Cubs won't need pitchers because they basically have all the hitters now, so how is anyone going to score against them?

Shortstops.  We need more shortstops.  You can never have too many shortstops. 

If someone can play shortstop, they can probably play anywhere else.

The best kid on every little league team plays shortstop, and I played right field.