Single Greatest Thread Ever

[Saul Goodman]

LAWESLEY and John Baker.

DAT EPSTINK LET DAT GUY BAKER JUST WALK AWAY FROM DA CUBS.  WHO DEY GONNA GET TO REPLACE HIS VETRAN PRESENTS AND MOXIE?  EPSTINK IS TERRIBLE MY FRENTS.

You know, it's not really a big deal, but Wright was their best lefty and has been pretty good for the last three years. I'm a little puzzled by that one.

Especially since they decided to keep Travis around for another year.  Whatever.

Gonna need space for Andrew Miller, Jon Lester, Max Scherzer, Jamie Shields, Cole Hamels, Melky Cabrera, Brandon McCarthy, and Miguel Montero, so they might as well start now.

[CBStew]

LAWESLEY and John Baker.

DAT EPSTINK LET DAT GUY BAKER JUST WALK AWAY FROM DA CUBS.  WHO DEY GONNA GET TO REPLACE HIS VETRAN PRESENTS AND MOXIE?  EPSTINK IS TERRIBLE MY FRENTS.

You know, it's not really a big deal, but Wright was their best lefty and has been pretty good for the last three years. I'm a little puzzled by that one.

Especially since they decided to keep Travis around for another year.  Whatever.

Gonna need space for Andrew Miller, Jon Lester, Max Scherzer, Jamie Shields, Cole Hamels, Melky Cabrera, Brandon McCarthy, and Miguel Montero, so they might as well start now.

Baker was the only University of California Alum on the team.  He also had the best sense of humor on the team, something of inestimable importance when you are playing for the Cubs.

[Saul Goodman]

LAWESLEY and John Baker.

DAT EPSTINK LET DAT GUY BAKER JUST WALK AWAY FROM DA CUBS.  WHO DEY GONNA GET TO REPLACE HIS VETRAN PRESENTS AND MOXIE?  EPSTINK IS TERRIBLE MY FRENTS.

You know, it's not really a big deal, but Wright was their best lefty and has been pretty good for the last three years. I'm a little puzzled by that one.

Especially since they decided to keep Travis around for another year.  Whatever.

Gonna need space for Andrew Miller, Jon Lester, Max Scherzer, Jamie Shields, Cole Hamels, Melky Cabrera, Brandon McCarthy, and Miguel Montero, so they might as well start now.

Baker was the only University of California Alum on the team.  He also had the best sense of humor on the team, something of inestimable importance when you are playing for the Cubs.

Incorrect. A portable DVD player in the clubhouse playing Ryan Dempster's Harry Caray impressions on a loop has the best sense of humor on the team.

[Eli]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

[Slaky]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

Everything is terrible.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

[PenFoe]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Thanks.

[Yeti]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

Or, just don't care about his existence

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

Or, just don't care about his existence

One of those two, doesn't matter which...

[CT III]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

*guffaws*

*snorts*

*pounds fist on table*

[CBStew]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

I wonder if you can get a suit made out of that material?

[Tonker]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

I wonder if you can get a suit made out of that material?

A suit made out of Ryan Dempster?  Huey's waaaaaay ahead of you, Stew.

[Bort]

Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.

I wonder if you can get a suit made out of that material?

A suit made out of Ryan Dempster?  Huey's waaaaaay ahead of you, Stew.

I'd offer to make a blog out of his skin, but I don't want to set off any RSS feeds.

[PenFoe]

Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.