Single Greatest Thread Ever

[ChuckD]

Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.  

WE LOST ROCK SHOULDERS???

So the way this works is that the Cubs acquire a player for the purpose of selling him to another team?  

So that he can become a drug addict who has a couple good years before fleecing the Angels, yes.

Seems a little underselling for a player who won an MVP and averaged about 4.5 WAR during a five-year span.

You're right. You could tell he was great from the CRACK of his bat.

He coulda been a HERO IN the 2011 World Series

(Sorry, Eli)

He never let his personal problems affect him between the LINES.

He abused drugs.

He voted for Hubert Humphrey and he killed Jesus.

He doesn't signal his lane changes.

He pays with checks at the grocery store and doesn't start filling any of it out until the cashier finishes ringing him up.  That cashier? Mike Fontenot.

He's more of a Beverly Hills Cop III man, himself.

[Bort]

Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.  

WE LOST ROCK SHOULDERS???

So the way this works is that the Cubs acquire a player for the purpose of selling him to another team?  

So that he can become a drug addict who has a couple good years before fleecing the Angels, yes.

Seems a little underselling for a player who won an MVP and averaged about 4.5 WAR during a five-year span.

You're right. You could tell he was great from the CRACK of his bat.

He coulda been a HERO IN the 2011 World Series

(Sorry, Eli)

He never let his personal problems affect him between the LINES.

He abused drugs.

He voted for Hubert Humphrey and he killed Jesus.

He doesn't signal his lane changes.

He pays with checks at the grocery store and doesn't start filling any of it out until the cashier finishes ringing him up.  That cashier? Mike Fontenot.

He's more of a Beverly Hills Cop III man, himself.

He doesn't undrstand the Dempster hate.

[Tonker]

Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.  

WE LOST ROCK SHOULDERS???

So the way this works is that the Cubs acquire a player for the purpose of selling him to another team?  

So that he can become a drug addict who has a couple good years before fleecing the Angels, yes.

Seems a little underselling for a player who won an MVP and averaged about 4.5 WAR during a five-year span.

You're right. You could tell he was great from the CRACK of his bat.

He coulda been a HERO IN the 2011 World Series

(Sorry, Eli)

He never let his personal problems affect him between the LINES.

He abused drugs.

He voted for Hubert Humphrey and he killed Jesus.

He doesn't signal his lane changes.

He pays with checks at the grocery store and doesn't start filling any of it out until the cashier finishes ringing him up.  That cashier? Mike Fontenot.

He's more of a Beverly Hills Cop III man, himself.

He doesn't undrstand the Dempster hate.

He shares shit on Facebook, like, nineteen times a day.

[InternetApex]

Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.  

WE LOST ROCK SHOULDERS???

So the way this works is that the Cubs acquire a player for the purpose of selling him to another team?  

So that he can become a drug addict who has a couple good years before fleecing the Angels, yes.

Seems a little underselling for a player who won an MVP and averaged about 4.5 WAR during a five-year span.

You're right. You could tell he was great from the CRACK of his bat.

He coulda been a HERO IN the 2011 World Series

(Sorry, Eli)

He never let his personal problems affect him between the LINES.

He abused drugs.

He voted for Hubert Humphrey and he killed Jesus.

He doesn't signal his lane changes.

He pays with checks at the grocery store and doesn't start filling any of it out until the cashier finishes ringing him up.  That cashier? Mike Fontenot.

He's more of a Beverly Hills Cop III man, himself.

He doesn't undrstand the Dempster hate.

He shares shit on Facebook, like, nineteen times a day.

He doesn't pay the fuck attention.

[CT III]

Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.  

WE LOST ROCK SHOULDERS???

So the way this works is that the Cubs acquire a player for the purpose of selling him to another team?  

So that he can become a drug addict who has a couple good years before fleecing the Angels, yes.

Seems a little underselling for a player who won an MVP and averaged about 4.5 WAR during a five-year span.

You're right. You could tell he was great from the CRACK of his bat.

He coulda been a HERO IN the 2011 World Series

(Sorry, Eli)

He never let his personal problems affect him between the LINES.

He abused drugs.

He voted for Hubert Humphrey and he killed Jesus.

He doesn't signal his lane changes.

He pays with checks at the grocery store and doesn't start filling any of it out until the cashier finishes ringing him up.  That cashier? Mike Fontenot.

He's more of a Beverly Hills Cop III man, himself.

He doesn't undrstand the Dempster hate.

He shares shit on Facebook, like, nineteen times a day.

He doesn't pay the fuck attention.

He's a millionaire baseball player who overcame drug addiction to remain a millionaire baseball player.

[PenFoe]

Justin Ruggiano.

[InternetApex]

Justin Ruggiano.

I knew he was on the team and I'm sure I saw him play but I have absolutely no memory of anything he did while in a Cubs uniform.

[Slaky]

Justin Ruggiano.

I knew he was on the team and I'm sure I saw him play but I have absolutely no memory of anything he did while in a Cubs uniform.

He shall be one of the forgotten.

[CBStew]

Justin Ruggiano.

I knew he was on the team and I'm sure I saw him play but I have absolutely no memory of anything he did while in a Cubs uniform.

He shall be one of the forgotten.

I thought that he was a "keeper".

[Tonker]

Justin Ruggiano.

I knew he was on the team and I'm sure I saw him play but I have absolutely no memory of anything he did while in a Cubs uniform.

He shall be one of the forgotten.

I thought that he was a "keeper".

Only in BC's fantasy team.

[Eli]

I have to say that if they're basically going to swap Ruggiano for Jonny Gomes, that sucks, since Gomes is worse at Ruggiano at ... basically everything that's baseball-related, except grindy-beard-growing. Hell, Ruggiano was even able to play a passable center field in a pinch, which is nice insurance.

Hopefully they're going to add another actual bat before the offseason is finished.

[Slaky]

I have to say that if they're basically going to swap Ruggiano for Jonny Gomes, that sucks, since Gomes is worse at Ruggiano at ... basically everything that's baseball-related, except grindy-beard-growing. Hell, Ruggiano was even able to play a passable center field in a pinch, which is nice insurance.

Hopefully they're going to add another actual bat before the offseason is finished.

I would think if they were going to sign Gomes they would have. What's the hold up?

[CT III]

I have to say that if they're basically going to swap Ruggiano for Jonny Gomes, that sucks, since Gomes is worse at Ruggiano at ... basically everything that's baseball-related, except grindy-beard-growing. Hell, Ruggiano was even able to play a passable center field in a pinch, which is nice insurance.

Hopefully they're going to add another actual bat before the offseason is finished.

I would think if they were going to sign Gomes they would have. What's the hold up?

You can't just run out and sign a Jonny Gomes.  A player like that has to be wooed.  You gotta do the dance.

[SKO]

I have to say that if they're basically going to swap Ruggiano for Jonny Gomes, that sucks, since Gomes is worse at Ruggiano at ... basically everything that's baseball-related, except grindy-beard-growing. Hell, Ruggiano was even able to play a passable center field in a pinch, which is nice insurance.

Hopefully they're going to add another actual bat before the offseason is finished.

I would think if they were going to sign Gomes they would have. What's the hold up?

You can't just run out and sign a Jonny Gomes.  A player like that has to be wooed.  You gotta do the dance.

clearly it's because Gomes is gonna be a two week placeholder till Kris Bryant and Addison Russell are called up at the same time, Russell takes over SS, Starlin moves to 3B, and Bryant moves to LF. it's gonna hai.

[Quality Start Machine]

I have to say that if they're basically going to swap Ruggiano for Jonny Gomes, that sucks, since Gomes is worse at Ruggiano at ... basically everything that's baseball-related, except grindy-beard-growing. Hell, Ruggiano was even able to play a passable center field in a pinch, which is nice insurance.

Hopefully they're going to add another actual bat before the offseason is finished.

I would think if they were going to sign Gomes they would have. What's the hold up?

You can't just run out and sign a Jonny Gomes.  A player like that has to be wooed.  You gotta do the dance.

clearly it's because Gomes is gonna be a two week placeholder till Kris Bryant and Addison Russell are called up at the same time, Russell takes over SS, Starlin moves to 3B, and Bryant moves to LF. it's gonna hai.

While I enjoy your joyful positive, you don't see Russell getting at least a half season in Iowa?