Single Greatest Thread Ever

[Saul Goodman]

I guess here is as good a place as any for this: James Russell has been released by the Braves.  After having posted a 2.22 ERA for them last year, and after three straight pretty good years, he's had a bad spring (10.57 ERA), and is suddenly surplus to requirements.  Seems a little harsh.  Either he's hurt, or the Braves are absolutely fucking stacked in the pen.

Bump.  This post got buried at the bottom of the previous page before anybody had a chance to see it.  Anybody know anything about Russell, other than he had a shit Spring?

I seriously hated that guy and am glad he's pitched himself out of the league.  But mostly, Tonk, I think people just don't give a fuck about him.

Good news! Cubs just brought Russell in on a minor league deal, per Bruce Miles on the twits. I'd normally not give it a second thought other than to hope he might return to his form from last year and he'd be a decent left-handed reliever, but the fact that this move will anger Huey makes it worthwhile.

Also getting Victor Caratini for a few months of Russell was kinda cool...

Yeah, but was it worth giving up Bonerface? The sparkplug of the 2014 Cubs?

Remember when he was hitting something like .500 for a couple weeks?  That's a DeRosa-level standing ovation whenever he returns to Wrigley.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I guess here is as good a place as any for this: James Russell has been released by the Braves.  After having posted a 2.22 ERA for them last year, and after three straight pretty good years, he's had a bad spring (10.57 ERA), and is suddenly surplus to requirements.  Seems a little harsh.  Either he's hurt, or the Braves are absolutely fucking stacked in the pen.

Bump.  This post got buried at the bottom of the previous page before anybody had a chance to see it.  Anybody know anything about Russell, other than he had a shit Spring?

I seriously hated that guy and am glad he's pitched himself out of the league.  But mostly, Tonk, I think people just don't give a fuck about him.

Good news! Cubs just brought Russell in on a minor league deal, per Bruce Miles on the twits. I'd normally not give it a second thought other than to hope he might return to his form from last year and he'd be a decent left-handed reliever, but the fact that this move will anger Huey makes it worthwhile.

Also getting Victor Caratini for a few months of Russell was kinda cool...

Yeah, but was it worth giving up Bonerface? The sparkplug of the 2014 Cubs?

Remember when he was hitting something like .500 for a couple weeks?  That's a DeRosa-level standing ovation whenever he returns to Wrigley.

Bonerface ain't a Caucasoid so that's not gonna hai.

[SKO]

No idea where to put this because nobody watches youtube videos in the youtube thread and I feel this is more important than that because holy shit someone made this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pzQmiBsGS8

[InternetApex]

No idea where to put this because nobody watches youtube videos in the youtube thread and I feel this is more important than that because holy shit someone made this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pzQmiBsGS8

Christ on a bike. They act like he's Juan Cruz or something.

[PenFoe]

No idea where to put this because nobody watches youtube videos in the youtube thread and I feel this is more important than that because holy shit someone made this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pzQmiBsGS8

Christ on a bike. They act like he's Juan Cruz or something.

Kaytay Fluffybutt is TEC's YouTube name.

[Tonker]

I would like to cordially invite both DJ LeMahieu and LaTroy Hawkins to get it well and truly the fuck up them.

[Quality Start Machine]

I would like to cordially invite both DJ LeMahieu and LaTroy Hawkins to get it well and truly the fuck up them.

Can anyone translate this from Welsh to English?

[Tonker]

I would like to cordially invite both DJ LeMahieu and LaTroy Hawkins to get it well and truly the fuck up them.

Can anyone translate this from Welsh to English?

I think you get the gist, even if you don't speak Afrikaans.

[SKO]

Couldn't find an old Aramis splooge thread to post this is in so this seems as good as any:

The Last Days of Pancakes: http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/profiles-in-decline-aramis-ramirez/

Money lines for me:

Ramirez got his first crack at major league pitching at age 20 with the Pirates, but uneven performances caused him to go up and down between the majors and Triple-A until he nailed down a job for good at age 23, when he unfurled a .300-.350-.536 line in 2001. Except for a poor season in 2002, he then settled in for a decade-plus run as Aramis Ramirez, well above average major league third baseman. His single-season OPS+ level never exceeded 139, but sat in a narrow band in the 120's and 130's for 10 of the 13 seasons between 2001 and 2013. Remarkable, remarkable consistency.

He has virtually no "black ink" in his historical record; he has led the league in exactly one category, with 50 doubles in 2012. He has made three All Star teams, and garnered MVP votes in five different seasons. No, he's not a Hall of Famer, but he would make a fine inductee in the Hall of Very Good.

Do not go gentle into that good night, Aramis, and may Bob Brenly get bent.

Although I did find this kinda odd:

The most notable piece of 2014 frequency data was his extremely low walk rate; his BB rate percentile rank of 3 dropped precipitously from 79 in 2013. This is actually not unusual for an aging player in the final stages of his career; round, counting numbers start to matter more. As 2014 progressed, thoughts ranging from "2500 hits" to "400 homers" quite likely started to fill Ramirez' head, and caused changes in his offensive approach

Doesn't really seem terribly analytical to attribute a decline in walk rate for a 38 year old to vanity.

[InternetApex]

Couldn't find an old Aramis splooge thread to post this is in so this seems as good as any:

The Last Days of Pancakes: http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/profiles-in-decline-aramis-ramirez/

Money lines for me:

Ramirez got his first crack at major league pitching at age 20 with the Pirates, but uneven performances caused him to go up and down between the majors and Triple-A until he nailed down a job for good at age 23, when he unfurled a .300-.350-.536 line in 2001. Except for a poor season in 2002, he then settled in for a decade-plus run as Aramis Ramirez, well above average major league third baseman. His single-season OPS+ level never exceeded 139, but sat in a narrow band in the 120's and 130's for 10 of the 13 seasons between 2001 and 2013. Remarkable, remarkable consistency.

He has virtually no "black ink" in his historical record; he has led the league in exactly one category, with 50 doubles in 2012. He has made three All Star teams, and garnered MVP votes in five different seasons. No, he's not a Hall of Famer, but he would make a fine inductee in the Hall of Very Good.

Do not go gentle into that good night, Aramis, and may Bob Brenly get bent.

Although I did find this kinda odd:

The most notable piece of 2014 frequency data was his extremely low walk rate; his BB rate percentile rank of 3 dropped precipitously from 79 in 2013. This is actually not unusual for an aging player in the final stages of his career; round, counting numbers start to matter more. As 2014 progressed, thoughts ranging from "2500 hits" to "400 homers" quite likely started to fill Ramirez' head, and caused changes in his offensive approach

Doesn't really seem terribly analytical to attribute a decline in walk rate for a 38 year old to vanity.

More likely, the bat speed declines as hitters get older and pitchers aren't afraid to throw in the zone as much. But yeah.

[SKO]

Couldn't find an old Aramis splooge thread to post this is in so this seems as good as any:

The Last Days of Pancakes: http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/profiles-in-decline-aramis-ramirez/

Money lines for me:

Ramirez got his first crack at major league pitching at age 20 with the Pirates, but uneven performances caused him to go up and down between the majors and Triple-A until he nailed down a job for good at age 23, when he unfurled a .300-.350-.536 line in 2001. Except for a poor season in 2002, he then settled in for a decade-plus run as Aramis Ramirez, well above average major league third baseman. His single-season OPS+ level never exceeded 139, but sat in a narrow band in the 120's and 130's for 10 of the 13 seasons between 2001 and 2013. Remarkable, remarkable consistency.

He has virtually no "black ink" in his historical record; he has led the league in exactly one category, with 50 doubles in 2012. He has made three All Star teams, and garnered MVP votes in five different seasons. No, he's not a Hall of Famer, but he would make a fine inductee in the Hall of Very Good.

Do not go gentle into that good night, Aramis, and may Bob Brenly get bent.

Although I did find this kinda odd:

The most notable piece of 2014 frequency data was his extremely low walk rate; his BB rate percentile rank of 3 dropped precipitously from 79 in 2013. This is actually not unusual for an aging player in the final stages of his career; round, counting numbers start to matter more. As 2014 progressed, thoughts ranging from "2500 hits" to "400 homers" quite likely started to fill Ramirez' head, and caused changes in his offensive approach

Doesn't really seem terribly analytical to attribute a decline in walk rate for a 38 year old to vanity.

More likely, the bat speed declines as hitters get older and pitchers aren't afraid to throw in the zone as much. But yeah.

Yeah even Barry Bonds' walk rate declined in his last season (and he wasn't even done, just blackballed). So I'm guessing Aramis wasn't thinking of his legacy every at bat.

[PenFoe]

Phil Coke


*assuming he doesn't clear waivers and end up back in Iowa.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Phil Coke


*assuming he doesn't clear waivers and end up back in Iowa.

A coke problem in Des Moines is much better (understandable?) than one in Chicago.

[Oleg]

Phil Coke


*assuming he doesn't clear waivers and end up back in Iowa.

A coke problem in Des Moines is much better (understandable?) than one in Chicago.

In Des Moines, it's meth.

[SKO]

Phil Coke


*assuming he doesn't clear waivers and end up back in Iowa.

A coke problem in Des Moines is much better (understandable?) than one in Chicago.

In Des Moines, it's meth.

Actually Des Moines is mostly overrun by young white professionals and hipsters now, so it's probably just crappy overpriced weed.