Peter King's MMQB

[PTanner]

Who is Peter King again?

What he said.

Try as you may, you will not ruin this for me Slaky.

If it's any consolation the last two episodes of Family Guy were as funny as throwing a puppy off a cliff.

I guess that article sends a big fuck you to Juno lovers, too. Eh?

Good news for Slak - "Enchanted" comes out on DVD tomorrow.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

From your friendly, neighborhood Monday morning qb:

I still find it hard to believe I just spent a week in the middle of a war zone. They don't sell tickets for the experience of a lifetime, but if you can do it somehow, I'd highly recommend it.

Geez, Peter King.  I have no idea how someone could get to Afghanistan these days.  TEC...RTI...you guys know?

He made it almost all the way through the first page without writing something completely retarded.

Their captain, Staff Sgt. James Anderson

Seriously, its not that hard to look up our rank structure.  It takes about 10 seconds with a search engine.  If this is any indication, I'm afraid to venture beyond the first page.

[Corn-fed]

From your friendly, neighborhood Monday morning qb:

I still find it hard to believe I just spent a week in the middle of a war zone. They don't sell tickets for the experience of a lifetime, but if you can do it somehow, I'd highly recommend it.

Geez, Peter King.  I have no idea how someone could get to Afghanistan these days.  TEC...RTI...you guys know?

He made it almost all the way through the first page without writing something completely retarded.

Their captain, Staff Sgt. James Anderson

Seriously, its not that hard to look up our rank structure.  It takes about 10 seconds with a search engine.  If this is any indication, I'm afraid to venture beyond the first page.

What's there to look up, Maj. Pvt. TEC?

I suppose you've never heard of Cpl. Cpt. Walter O'Reilly, huh?

[Al Yellon]

From your friendly, neighborhood Monday morning qb:

I still find it hard to believe I just spent a week in the middle of a war zone. They don't sell tickets for the experience of a lifetime, but if you can do it somehow, I'd highly recommend it.

Geez, Peter King.  I have no idea how someone could get to Afghanistan these days.  TEC...RTI...you guys know?

He made it almost all the way through the first page without writing something completely retarded.

Their captain, Staff Sgt. James Anderson

Seriously, its not that hard to look up our rank structure.  It takes about 10 seconds with a search engine.  If this is any indication, I'm afraid to venture beyond the first page.

What's there to look up, Maj. Pvt. TEC?

I suppose you've never heard of Cpl. Cpt. Walter O'Reilly, huh?

You mean three star Cpl. Cpt. Walter O'Reilly? Heckuva dude.

[Dave B]

"Corporal Captain, huh. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit."

[Al Yellon]

Come to think of it, I believe I remember watching something on RedTube that involved Major Private.

[Chuckosan]

They use real grape flavor here.

[Corn-fed]

They use real grape flavor here.

That's highly significant.

[morpheus]

They use real grape flavor here.

That's highly significant.

Ah... Bach!

[Chuckosan]

You're always wrong, Dusty Frank.  That's what's so rigth about you.

[PTanner]

Yankee Doodle Doctor!

[JakeD]

I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.

[Three times a JD]

Bump.

Let's open it up:

c. All you idiots at Fenway who booed David Ortiz (it was scattered, certainly nothing near a majority) the other night should have your human-being licenses revoked. Ortiz is 3-for-43 in one-fourteenth of the season. For everything he's done the past four years, he's a guy you shouldn't boo, even if he finishes the year 3-for-543.

Revoking their human-being lecenses (crap, I forgot to renew mine) seems a little dramatic, Pete.  Kinda like booing David Ortiz 3 weeks into the season.  There's no way Ortiz finishes the season 3-for-543, though.  One of those idiot Red Sox fans would blow up his car as soon as he reached 3-for-100. 

g. Sure hope D-Backs third baseman Mark Reynolds is the genuine item, seeing that I just traded a third of my rotisserie team for him. What say you, Will Carroll?

Why don't I ever find myself in fantasy leagues with people like Pete? 

[Andy]

That's not the half of it, Petey also traded for Shane Reynolds and Kevin McReynolds, and of course, Brett Favre.

[Three times a JD]

That's not the half of it, Petey also traded for Shane Reynolds and Kevin McReynolds, and of course, Brett Favre.

Today, he's looking to trade 1/3 of his team for Gabe Kapler.  Unfortunately, he's having trouble finding Gabe Kapler's owner.  He'll keep looking, though.  He remembers when Kapler played for the Red Sox and Pete's liked him ever since.  Just check out Gabe's BODY!