Peter King's MMQB

[Chuck to Chuck]

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home.  $2 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

[MAD]

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home.  $2.25 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

For a quarter more'd.

But where is that fat fuck gonna place his 64 ounce Big Gulp?  On the train floor?  Ewwww.

[thehawk]

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home.  $2.25 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

For a quarter more'd.

But where is that fat fuck gonna place his 64 ounce Big GulpVenti half calf half soy half skim mocca with extra whip and an extra shot?  On the train floor?  Ewwww.

This is Peter King we are talking about here'd

[PenFoe]

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home.  $2.25 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

For a quarter more'd.

But where is that fat fuck gonna place his 64 ounce Big GulpVenti half calf half soy half skim mocca with extra whip and an extra shot?  On the train floor?  Ewwww.

This is Peter King we are talking about here'd

I assume Half-Calf was a typo, but it's hysterical.

[TDubbs]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I beg to differ.  Beg.

[Quality Start Machine]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I beg to differ.  Beg.

Shit, the Edens anytime is the festering anal fissure of the Interstate Highway system.

[MAD]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I beg to differ.  Beg.

And you have a right to be wrong, also.

[Waco Kid]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I beg to differ.  Beg.

Shit, the Edens anytime is the festering anal fissure of the Interstate Highway system.

80/94 through the armpit that is northwest Indiana is brutal anytime as well.

[thehawk]

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home.  $2.25 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

For a quarter more'd.

But where is that fat fuck gonna place his 64 ounce Big GulpVenti half calf half soy half skim mocca with extra whip and an extra shot?  On the train floor?  Ewwww.

This is Peter King we are talking about here'd

I assume Half-Calf was a typo, but it's hysterical.

How do you think ole Pete keeps that Physique of his?

[Brownie]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I beg to differ.  Beg.

Shit, the Edens anytime is the festering anal fissure of the Interstate Highway system.

Interestingly, here in Chicago we have these things called "traffic reports." BC, as we all remember, even utilized them after his death march of a drive to Green Bay a few years ago. These "traffic reports" can be found on just about any AM station. Strangely, they have travel times to guide you. So when WBBM comes on at the eights with traffic, you can get a fairly accurate picture of what's happening. Terms like "Kennedy, O'Hare to Downtown 45 minutes, an HOUR TWENTY going the other way," you might understand the ride will suck. So what to do?

How about exiting the Kennedy at Division, make a quick left to Milwaukee, and drive up Milwaukee to Irving Park, or to Lawrence or to Higgins or to Devon?

"Road maps" and http://maps.google.com might even be helpful aids to Peter King.

Of course, the next travel problem he had in Chicago was that the ORD Hilton charged $17.95 for wifi. Outside of winter travelers stranded overnight, who in their right mind would stay at the airport Hilton when there are a million hotels within 3 miles of ORD, most of them providing free shuttles (and free wifi)?

In King's blistering denunciation of the Westin Hotel Chain (his bad San Diego travel note), he explains that he normally stays at places on par with Fairfield Inn. Why not stay there and not at the Hilton, which is probably paying an exorbitant lease to be postioned between the short-term parking lots and the arrival/departure dropoffs?

[BH]

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home. $2.25  $20 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

For a quarter more'd.

But where is that fat fuck gonna place his 64 ounce Big Gulp?  On the train floor?  Ewwww.

Douche'd.

[Quality Start Machine]

I think Hertz cars come with Sirius or XM, so he could have tuned into the Chicago/St. Louis channel and gotten traffic every 8 minutes.

[MAD]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I beg to differ.  Beg.

Shit, the Edens anytime is the festering anal fissure of the Interstate Highway system.

Interestingly, here in Chicago we have these things called "traffic reports." BC, as we all remember, even utilized them after his death march of a drive to Green Bay a few years ago. These "traffic reports" can be found on just about any AM station. Strangely, they have travel times to guide you. So when WBBM comes on at the eights with traffic, you can get a fairly accurate picture of what's happening. Terms like "Kennedy, O'Hare to Downtown 45 minutes, an HOUR TWENTY going the other way," you might understand the ride will suck. So what to do?

How about exiting the Kennedy at Division, make a quick left to Milwaukee, and drive up Milwaukee to Irving Park, or to Lawrence or to Higgins or to Devon?

"Road maps" and http://maps.google.com might even be helpful aids to Peter King.

Of course, the next travel problem he had in Chicago was that the ORD Hilton charged $17.95 for wifi. Outside of winter travelers stranded overnight, who in their right mind would stay at the airport Hilton when there are a million hotels within 3 miles of ORD, most of them providing free shuttles (and free wifi)?

In King's blistering denunciation of the Westin Hotel Chain (his bad San Diego travel note), he explains that he normally stays at places on par with Fairfield Inn. Why not stay there and not at the Hilton, which is probably paying an exorbitant lease to be postioned between the short-term parking lots and the arrival/departure dropoffs?

Why was this prick even downtown?  If he was flying into O'Hare and staying by O'Hare (which I agree is tourism retardation of the first order), heading up to Lake Forest, what reason did he have to head to the Loop?

How do the people in Chicago stand it?

Take the "L", idiot.  It's not like you live here and are going home. $2.25  $20 and 40 minutes from the Loop and you don't even have to return your car.

For a quarter more'd.

But where is that fat fuck gonna place his 64 ounce Big Gulp?  On the train floor?  Ewwww.

Douche'd.

It was TEN dollars, IDITO!

[CT III]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I'd say that the Eisenhower from the Hillside Strangler (88/294/290  Junction) to Austin is consistently the worst stretch of expressway in the area, regardless of time of day.  I can't exactly remember how the construction project to relieve congestion at the Strangler was supposed to work, but it didn't.  That little piece of heaven, combined with the idiotic ramps on the left side of the highway through Oak Park make that stretch a shitty drive no matter what the conditions.

[Slaky]

Ah, everybody missed yesterday's MMQB? King has three travel notes, all worth checking out, but here's his little ode to the Northwest Side:

Enjoyable/Aggravating Chicago Travel Note of the Week I

One hour and 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to drive the 19 miles from the fringe of downtown Chicago to the Hertz car-rental return area at O'Hare Airport Thursday evening around 7.

At one point, I was stopped in the far left lane of the four-lane westbound Kennedy Expressway for about two minutes. Dead stop. And there was no accident, at least none that I could see as I crawled along, and no sirens or lights flashing.

That drive -- the downtown area to O'Hare -- is officially the worst drive in the United States. None can top it. The Cross Bronx Expressway on an August Friday night at 6 contends, but it's just not the same. L.A. freeways are awful, consistently, but you move on them. Crawl sometimes, but you're moving faster than you do most of the time on the Kennedy. I've made it in 25 minutes a couple of times, but mostly in 50 minutes or longer, at all hours of the day and night. It is sheer misery. How do the people in Chicago stand it?

That's not even the worst drive in Chicago.  Try going from the post office to 53 on the Eisenhower during rush hour.

I'd say that the Eisenhower from the Hillside Strangler (88/294/290  Junction) to Austin is consistently the worst stretch of expressway in the area, regardless of time of day.  I can't exactly remember how the construction project to relieve congestion at the Strangler was supposed to work, but it didn't.  That little piece of heaven, combined with the idiotic ramps on the left side of the highway through Oak Park make that stretch a shitty drive no matter what the conditions.

True. It never fails that you'll slow down around Austin and Harlem no matter what time it is.