Ted Lilly. A Cub.

[Ivy6]

And now Ted Lilly is injured while Vicente Padilla isnt.  great choice, hendry.

Um, @BaseballStone, the CDC disagrees.

Well, that's kind of weird.

Vicente Padilla is the personification of the swine flu.

[fiveouts]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

[Internet Apex]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

I love this story. It is truly terrifying from start to finish.

[PenFoe]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying that if you found a full-service gas station anywhere in Arizona, you're lying.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying that if you found a full-service gas station anywhere in Arizona, you're lying.

We get it. You're a Mountain Time Zone TDubbs who can't read.

[Slaky]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word.  

The salesman walked away without a single sentence.  







That salesman recognized.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying that if you found a full-service gas station anywhere in Arizona, you're lying.

We get it. You're a Mountain Time Zone TDubbs who can't read.

Look, it's a great story and I don't want to call fiveouts a liar, but if Rick Sutcliffe was really sitting next to him at Arby's in Topeka I'm calling shenanigans.

[MAD]

I don't want to call fiveouts a liar, but if he's trying to convince us he had sex with Christine Hendricks, I'm calling him a liar.

[Gilgamesh]

I don't want to call fiveouts a liar, but if he's trying to convince us he had sex with Christine Christina Hendricks, I'm calling him a liar.

Snozberries'd.

[JD]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

What was the name of the car cleaner?

[fiveouts]

I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

What was the name of the car cleaner?

That's the strange thing.  He never said.  He told me how it (a) worked as both a cleaner and wax, (b) worked on windows (and prevented smudges for up to six weeks) and (c) could be used on rims to prevent "brake dust" from forming on my hubcaps.  But the guy never said the name of the product. 



However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

[JD]

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?

[fiveouts]

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?

About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A. 

[Slaky]

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?

About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A. 

That's a tiny waist. So, just curious...how big is your penis?

[fiveouts]

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?

About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A.  

That's a tiny waist. So, just curious...how big is your penis?

Ohhhh, man.  You wouldn't even believe it.  The ladies love me.



On a completely unrelated note, how many inches are in 60 millimeters?

[CT III]

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?

About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A.  

That's a tiny waist. So, just curious...how big is your penis?

Ohhhh, man.  You wouldn't even believe it.  The ladies love me.



On a completely unrelated note, how many inches are in 60 millimeters?

I have no idea, but it doesn't sound like very many football fields.