The only site I'll ever need...

[Thrillho]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

[TJ]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

Call Carlos Zambrano and tell him how he was robbed of his European audience. I'm sure he can explain the gravity of the situation to the wooden-shoed Internet providers.

[Tonker]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

GOD, no.  Bloody place is full of Americans.

[Jon]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

GOD, no.  Bloody place is full of Americans.

Now, you know good and well that deep down inside the English are just like Americans only more likely to get a sunburn.

[Taylor2]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

GOD, no.  Bloody place is full of Americans.

If you were living here you could have seen Big Zed throw a no hitter against Hooston.

[Tonker]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

GOD, no.  Bloody place is full of Americans.

If you were living here you could have seen Big Zed throw a no hitter bowl a maiden against Hooston.

Tsk.

[Jon]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

GOD, no.  Bloody place is full of Americans.

If you were living here you could have seen Big Zed throw a no hitter bowl a maiden against Hooston.

Tsk.

Is that one of those terms Cricket Fans use, like "Test Match" or "The Ashes" or "I am a native of Sri Lanka?"

[Uncouth Sloth]

I can connect through a proxy.  Resetting my modem hasn't achieved anything.  When I ping mlb.com it times out.  The firewall on my router isn't switched on at all.

Mlb.com is akin to the Polisario.  I can't ping it either, but that's because an orgy of Flashturbation requires layers of regimentation.

Again, what does your browser do when you attempt to summon mlb.com?  (BT as ISP?)

Essentially, it does nothing.  I'm using IE (sadly, I don't have a choice), and the little flag waves and nothing happens.  Sometimes it says that it's opening the IP address of mlb.com, and then doesn't, and sometimes it says "done", when it hasn't - the flag is still waving.  I don't think this helps much, does it?

Not suprisingly, I can log on to mlb.com through my work server - but then I can't watch mlb.tv.  I have a detailed plan for this evening :

a) Get kids off to bed
b) Kiss Mrs. Tonk goodnight
c) Watch Carlos' no-hitter
d) Watch Carlos' no-hitter again
e) Etc.
f) Wake up at 0400, wipe dribble from chin and go to bed

... that is in serious jeopardy.  Won't somebody think of the no-hitter?

Call your local Internet Provider. I'm sure they'll understand the gravity of the situation.

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Move to AMERICA, Eurotrash.

GOD, no.  Bloody place is full of Americans.

If you were living here you could have seen Big Zed throw a no hitter bowl a maiden against Hooston.

Tsk.

Is that one of those terms Cricket Fans use, like "Test Match" or "The Ashes" or "I am a native of Sri Lanka?"

This.

(Did I use that right?)

[Wheezer]

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Do you still have the old router?  If this is the choke point, then you're going to have to talk to the new one.  (Don't try to "teach it phenomenology.")

[Quality Start Machine]

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Tell them to put down the fucking spliff for two seconds, fix your shit, and are they done yet.

[MidgetSellingWater]

From the "Because We Can't Get Enough of Megan Fox" Department:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/16/people.megan.fox.ap/index.html

"Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided -- oh man, sorry, mommy! -- that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop," said Fox. "I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita."

Fox said Nikita would do "these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads." The actress also said she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.

[Kerm]

Dudes, I have two upper deck seats to Friday's Cubs-Cardinals battle for face plus enough to cover overnight shipping (unless you want to pick them up in the burbs, or something) for anyone who wants them.  I don't have them in front of me, so I can't remember what the exact cost was, but I wanted to get a post out there ASAP so I can get the tickets out in time.  PM me if you're interested.

And like that...they're gone.

[powen01]

My Internet Provider is a bunch of utter cunts who would see me in hell before they lifted a finger to help me.  Anybody got a different solution?

Tell them to put down the fucking spliff for two seconds, fix your shit, and are they done yet.

This sounds like either a routing issue, or more than likely, a DNS reverse lookup issue where the PTR records on your DNS server are not correct either for your particular IP or block, or MLB's reverse DNS is not correct/updated.

I could possibly troubleshoot a little bit via IM if you want (AIM, Yahoo and MSN).  More than likely, you'll need someone at your ISP to get off their collective arses to update either your PTR record on your DNS server or to give you the reverse DNS of www.mlb.com for you to try to type in your browser.

[Dave B]

How about this dumb ass?

Illinois man clipped by train while lighting a cigarette
By The Associated Press | Tuesday, September 16, 2008

BENTON, Ill.  — A southern Illinois man will probably pay more attention the next time he lights a cigarette near railroad tracks.

Authorities in Benton say 25-year-old Brandon Robles escaped serious injury early Sunday when he was clipped by a passing Union Pacific train when he stopped near the tracks for a smoke.

Workers on the train told authorities they thought they'd hit a man, launching a search that included dogs. But nobody was found.

Robles had managed to walk home, only to call emergency dispatchers hours later to report that he couldn't get out of bed. He was treated at a hospital.

Robles told investigators he'd been drinking heavily and saw the train approaching when he stopped at the tracks for a cigarette.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

Back on topic Dave....  Is she gay or married?