The only site I'll ever need...

[Saul Goodman]

I'm looking for a free FLV to MPEG converter for burning an internet video to DVD.

Any laptopsciencefags have any recommendations?

MPEG StreamClip has worked very well for me, although I haven't personally tested FLV with the Windows version.  It works on OS X.

[Weebs]

For anyone interested in those Flip Digital Cameras from a while back, the Flip Ultra Series F260 is only $79 on Woot today.

[Tonker]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

[BH]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

Set your house on fire.

[Chuck to Chuck]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

[morpheus]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

I've always been partial to the "fall down a flight of stairs" technique, as many around here can attest to.

[Quality Start Machine]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

I've always been partial to the "fall down a flight of stairstobogganning on the back of peasants" technique, as many around here can attest to.

[Jon]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

I've always been partial to the "fall down a flight of stairstobogganning on the back of peasants Paying a fat man to let me ride him like a mule" technique, as many around here can attest to.

[Tonker]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

[Gil Gunderson]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

I would propose searching for some of the seediest porn on the web and then begin downloading in earnest from those sites.  Surely, the attendant virus will destroy what's left of that beast.

[Tonker]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

I would propose searching for some of the seediest porn on the web and then begin downloading in earnest from those sites.  Surely, the attendant virus will destroy what's left of that beast.

Hasn't worked so far.

[Oleg]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

I would propose searching for some of the seediest porn on the web and then begin downloading in earnest from those sites.  Surely, the attendant virus will destroy what's left of that beast.

Hasn't worked so far.

Have you tried having the laptop spend a weekend with Amy Winehouse?

[Gil Gunderson]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

I would propose searching for some of the seediest porn on the web and then begin downloading in earnest from those sites.  Surely, the attendant virus will destroy what's left of that beast.

Hasn't worked so far.

Alternatively, I'm sure you could find a downloadable virus online if you try hard enough.  Most computer nerds have some that they keep for posterity.  However, no porn using that route.

[Kermit, B.]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

I would propose searching for some of the seediest porn on the web and then begin downloading in earnest from those sites.  Surely, the attendant virus will destroy what's left of that beast.

Hasn't worked so far.

Have you tried having the laptop spend a weekend with Amy Winehouse?

Better yet, marry it to Drew Peterson.

[Oleg]

My current laptop is four years old and is dying on its arse.  The company won't buy me a new one while it's still running.  So. I need to kill it - I mean, it needs to be absolutely stone fucking dead with absolutely no chance of revival.

BUT ideally, I need to do it in such a way that it will look like it simply passed away peacefully in its sleep - dropping the thing out of a window is going to look too suspicious.

Any ideas?

The 9 Volt Solution is a good idea.  Take a 9 volt battery and rub it on the motherboard.

Just be sure there are no security tags that get torn if you open the bottom of the laptop.

That would certainly be a nice clean way to do it, but the cheap bastards will just replace the motherboard and then I'm no nearer having a new machine.  I think I might end up having to drop it down the stairs, actually.  Or spill a couple of pints of coffee into it.

By far the easiest thing would be to get it "stolen", but the problem is that my last one actually was stolen when our house was burgled, so somebody's bound to smell a rat.

I would propose searching for some of the seediest porn on the web and then begin downloading in earnest from those sites.  Surely, the attendant virus will destroy what's left of that beast.

Hasn't worked so far.

Have you tried having the laptop spend a weekend with Amy Winehouse?

Better yet, marry it to Drew Peterson.

Yeah...and then the laptop will have to deal with immigration issues.  D'Ur.