Opening. Day. Female. Odges.

[Tank]

So do you guys hate Mike Fontenot or just think he kinda sucks? I dig him. In a very gay way.

I've been ghey for Fontenot for awhile.  He's like Theriot only good.

It still strikes me as very cool that the Cubs got him for Sosa.

Which means they REALLY got him for Jorge/George Bell.

Check out his page sponsor.  http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/f/fontemi01.shtml

How lazy is this - I want to see it, but you didn't make it a hyperlink. So I'm not fucking going.

That's pretty lazy.

It's even lazier than responding to this post and not fixing the issue.

We've got "lazy" and "surly" covered now...

Let's get Gil in here and make this Teamsters local official.

Don't forget "Regretful".

So, I can stretch with you guys, right?

[Jon]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

[*In a Nutsack]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

[flannj]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

The years of Biggio lovefest and Berkman's acting cheating seal it for me.

[Quality Start Machine]

Fuch Beege and his body armor. Fucking pussy.

[Tonker]

Fuch Beege and his body armor. Fucking pussy.

Yeah!  Fuch him!

[Kermit, B.]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

See, I can't muster up any hatred for the Brewers.  They're just so damn cute with their little baseball club up there.  Plus, it's easy to get tickets to Cubs games in Milwaukee.

Brewers FANS, on the other hand.  I hate the pant-pissing lot of them.

[*In a Nutsack]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

See, I can't muster up any hatred for the Brewers.  They're just so damn cute with their little baseball club up there.  Plus, it's easy to get tickets to Cubs games in Milwaukee.

Brewers FANS, on the other hand.  I hate the pant-pissing lot of them.

So, it goes all the way back to the Beeg love.  You should blame that on Harray's waterhead grandson, Chip.  As far as Berkman, I don't recall any cheating...the guy's just good at hitting baseballs.

[Kermit, B.]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

See, I can't muster up any hatred for the Brewers.  They're just so damn cute with their little baseball club up there.  Plus, it's easy to get tickets to Cubs games in Milwaukee.

Brewers FANS, on the other hand.  I hate the pant-pissing lot of them.

So, it goes all the way back to the Beeg love.  You should blame that on Harray's waterhead grandson, Chip.  As far as Berkman, I don't recall any cheating...the guy's just good at hitting baseballs.

Except all those times he pretends to get hit in the head by baseballs that don't actually hit him.  He's a whore.  Carlos Lee can go fug himself, too.  And I hope Oswalt gets run over by a tractor.  And Jose Valverde is one of the guys I'd most like to see take a line drive off the temple.

[*In a Nutsack]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

See, I can't muster up any hatred for the Brewers.  They're just so damn cute with their little baseball club up there.  Plus, it's easy to get tickets to Cubs games in Milwaukee.

Brewers FANS, on the other hand.  I hate the pant-pissing lot of them.

So, it goes all the way back to the Beeg love.  You should blame that on Harray's waterhead grandson, Chip.  As far as Berkman, I don't recall any cheating...the guy's just good at hitting baseballs.

Except all those times he pretends to get hit in the head by baseballs that don't actually hit him.  He's a whore.  Carlos Lee can go fug himself, too.  And I hope Oswalt gets run over by a tractor.  And Jose Valverde is one of the guys I'd most like to see take a line drive off the temple.

I really hate Jose Valverde.  Other Astros I actually hate are Kaz Ripped Anus, Jason Bourn, that retard Hunter Pence and Geoff fuckin' Blum.  I really hate Geoff fuckin' Blum.  So, maybe I do hate the Astros more than I think.

[Jon]

Kerm knows what's what.

I've hated the Astros for years. I remember they and their fans were real dickbags in 2004 at some series here. And of course, there's that whole "Texas" thing...

[Jon]

DPD.

And I fucking DESPISE Hunter Pence.

[Waco Kid]

God, I fucking HATE the Astros.

No shit. I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes sulking because of that shitty ending. Three turdlet ground balls and they lose. Goddamn Neal Cotts almost had me fooled. I'll never let that happen again.

Every year I think I've gotten over my near-irrational* hatred of the Astros. Then I see those fuckstains and want them all dead, all over again.



*I say near-irrational, because I still think it's fully justified.

I don't have near the hate for the Astros as I do for the Cardinals and Brewers.  Not sure where the Astros hate comes from...was it last year's hurricane dibacle?

See, I can't muster up any hatred for the Brewers.  They're just so damn cute with their little baseball club up there.  Plus, it's easy to get tickets to Cubs games in Milwaukee.

Brewers FANS, on the other hand.  I hate the pant-pissing lot of them.

So, it goes all the way back to the Beeg love.  You should blame that on Harray's waterhead grandson, Chip.  As far as Berkman, I don't recall any cheating...the guy's just good at hitting baseballs.

I've hated the Astros for a long time that started mainly because of that shithole Astrodome.

[Quality Start Machine]

Fuch Beege and his body armor. Fucking pussy.

Yeah!  Fuch him!

FUCH HIM!

[RV]

Now we're talking. Don't forget the novelty stadium that was apparently designed by a 9 year old, the hooplehead owner who tried to wait out a hurricane and then cried about it, and most importantly

Intrepid Reader: Fro Dog

TY WIGGINTON ALWAYS KILLS US

So much to hate about that godforsaken team. I hope Ted throws blunt axes from the mound instead of baseballs tonight.