"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Fork_The_Third]

Not to be Al Yellon but they're in this thing till the end.  Better get used to it.

I would have preferred they start kicking asses and taking names in August, like they did in '84 (day games my ass).  Instead, it looks like they're about to play down to the competition like they did in '03.  Both seasons ended similarly, but this team blew their chance at getting some early-August separation.  Didn't happen cuz their rotation is barely average.  Thank God that these are down times for the NL. 

In any event, sloppy baseball or not, it's still better than them being done by now.  It's easier to read about the Bears knowing that they're gonna be awesome yet still on the backburner rather than have to absorb reports out of Bourbannais like they were drops of water in the desert.

I've got Bears and Bills training camp stories (for example, see today's online version of www.chicagosports.com's Keeping Up With...series) ready to keep me busy, but the Brewers won't let the Cubs die. Even if they are a minor league team right now with two good hitters and two good starting pitchers, they're in it til the end.

Because with two good hitters and two good starting pitchers, they are the NLC's elite.

[Internet Apex]

I'm not going all Chuck and acting like if they're going to suck rhinocerous teet for two months that I'd rather they didn't back into the playoffs. I'm sure he can find a reason why that's bad for you and me or America or Israel Idonije or some shit. I just don't like losing to the Phillies/Mets/Astros a whole assload no matter what. And it doesn't make me feel much better to see that Milwaukee and the Tards suck too. Because if they suck, I want the Cubs to crush their spleen so I can sit in my living room drinking too much New Castle and laughing sardonically with my shirt off and then run around the house in my underwear again. But I can't do that when they lose and my bornflakes smell like rhinocerous teet, my Dr. Pepper's warm and etc. etc. etc...

Fuck Matt Murton and Ronnie Cedeno with the pole on Tal's Hill or whatever they call that big breast lump they have out there. Fuck until they drop and piss on 'em when they fall down. I hate them and their mothers and their mothers' mothers for making their suckitude possible. Damn it.  

[Slaky+]

If Lou ever bats Ronny FsUCKING Cedeno second ever again, I'll shit a Buick LaCrosse with XM Radio and 8 JBL Speakers. Possibly a GPS Navigator included. Too soon to tell.

[Internet Apex]

If Lou ever bats Ronny FsUCKING Cedeno second ever again, I'll shit a Buick LaCrosse with XM Radio and 8 JBL Speakers. Possibly a GPS Navigator included. Too soon to tell.

That would suck for you but somebody would probably enjoy that sweet ride you'd push out.

[Fork_The_Third]

If Lou ever bats Ronny FsUCKING Cedeno second ever again, I'll shit a Buick LaCrosse with XM Radio and 8 JBL Speakers. Possibly a GPS Navigator included. Too soon to tell.

That would suck for you but somebody would probably enjoy that sweet ride you'd push out.

I'm not sure the guys at the car wash would be too happy about it either.

[Internet Apex]

If Lou ever bats Ronny FsUCKING Cedeno second ever again, I'll shit a Buick LaCrosse with XM Radio and 8 JBL Speakers. Possibly a GPS Navigator included. Too soon to tell.

That would suck for you but somebody would probably enjoy that sweet ride you'd push out.

I'm not sure the guys at the car wash would be too happy about it either.

Who, these guys?



I don't think they'd know the difference. Too busy rhymin' for tips, G.

[Kwyjibo]

a winner is YOU!

[EG]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

[The Ghost of Desipio Past]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

[Ike Clanton}Listen, Mr. Cub Fan. Numbers don't go around here. Savvy[/Ike Clanton}

[Internet Apex]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

He's 4-14 with 2 RBI and 7 Ks. WOW!

His mere presence is a drag on the entire team. He's depressing. He reeks of failure. Deal with it.

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

You're right.

That's a much bigger problem than other issues...like the fact that all of our pitchers now refuse to occasionally turn their heads when the other team has runners on base.  Holding baserunners is a waste of time.

I'm sure someone will attribute that philosophy to Mike Barrett.

[Slaky+]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

You're right.

That's a much bigger problem than other issues...like the fact that all of our pitchers now refuse to occasionally turn their heads wehn the other team has runners on base.

I suppose it's probably Mike Barrett's fault.   

Oh, you're a damn bastard. That's what you are.

[Corn-fed]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

You're right.

That's a much bigger problem than other issues...like the fact that all of our pitchers now refuse to occasionally turn their heads wehn the other team has runners on base.

I suppose it's probably Mike Barrett's fault.   

Why even bother paying attention to runners when you already know Kendall's gonna lob an eephus to the wrong side of the bag on a steal anyways.

Hell, might as well go back to the wind up.

[EG]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

He's 4-14 with 2 RBI and 7 Ks. WOW!

His mere presence is a drag on the entire team. He's depressing. He reeks of failure. Deal with it.

If you're going to post more often than anyone else on the board, you should find some new material.

[Corn-fed]

Yes, you are all right.  The reason for the Cubs' recent poor play is Matt Murton's .286 average and .375 OBP since returning from Iowa.

He's 4-14 with 2 RBI and 7 Ks. WOW!

His mere presence is a drag on the entire team. He's depressing. He reeks of failure. Deal with it.

If you're going to post more often than anyone else on the board, you should find some new material.

You should show more respect to the top poster around here.