"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Internet Apex]

He's now free to explore other employment opportunities around the league as a result of this meltdown.  The Shaun Marcum introductory conference call is scheduled for 4PM...for those who are interested.

This is an all-too familiar reminder of The Andy Sonnanstine Saga the SD Cripplers went through.  We also fondly remember Kevin Slowey's cup of coffee.  This week -- its the tag team of Paul Maholm and Kyle Kendrick! 

I sincerely hope you have 80 teams in your league, or a roster size of 1,200 to be screwing with guys like that.  Eeesh.

Keep in mind, it's never too early to get started on the Rick VandenHurk era.

Sonnanstine and Slowey got looks on my Dynasty team because its a keeper league.  I (dumbly) thought I could squeeze a lil' upside out of either guy.  I can't tell you what I got out of them when I squeezed.  It was sort of like the cyst that kept me bedridden for 3 weeks in July.

Maholm and Kendrick, on the other hand, are soaking up spots on my 14-team private league.  I had to drop Michael Barrett to get one of them.  Yes.  That's right.  THAT Michael Barrett.  Oh, how humiliating.  I was forced to keep him on before Saltalamacchia was traded since Bobby Cox is a fuckwit (sitting both Saltalamacchia AND! Kelly Johnson).  

So, my rotation now reads:  Peavy/Zambrano/Shields/Capuano/Suppan/Kendrick/Maholm/Sonnanstine/Burnett/Harden

I dumped Shields two weeks ago after before that debacle in New York.

I smell fraud.

My shitty team'd. Fuck that big turkey.

[Internet Apex]

I just checked and it's 17-3 at Coors now Top 7 and Corey Hart is the ugliest sumbitch on a team that includes the namesake of this thread. Now isn't that something?

[Taylor]

Rockies pitcher Jason Hirsh has broken leg

August 8, 2007

DENVER (AP) -- Colorado Rockies pitcher Jason Hirsh broke his right leg -- and kept on pitching against the Milwaukee Brewers.

X-rays revealed the fracture Wednesday, a day after Milwaukee's J.J. Hardy lined a ball off Hirsh's leg during the first inning of Colorado's 11-4 win.

Hirsh allowed three runs -- two earned -- and three hits in six innings, throwing 87 pitches and improving his record to 5-7.

Someone should break one of Marquis' legs and see if he pitches any better.

[Corn-fed]

Rockies pitcher Jason Hirsh has broken leg

August 8, 2007

DENVER (AP) -- Colorado Rockies pitcher Jason Hirsh broke his right leg -- and kept on pitching against the Milwaukee Brewers.

X-rays revealed the fracture Wednesday, a day after Milwaukee's J.J. Hardy lined a ball off Hirsh's leg during the first inning of Colorado's 11-4 win.

Hirsh allowed three runs -- two earned -- and three hits in six innings, throwing 87 pitches and improving his record to 5-7.

Someone should break one of Marquis' legs and see if he pitches any better.

Where's a drunk, mound-charging bond trader when you need one?

[Chuckosan]

Where's a drunk, mound-charging bond trader when you need one?

Fast Signs.

[Corn-fed]

Where's a drunk, mound-charging bond trader when you need one?

Fast Signs.

Speak of the douche, they've actually posted my "it", with proper attribution:

Stop taking crap from those stupid khaki-wearing bond traders at work - Randy (Vancouver, WA)

It's the little things that bring me joy.

[Internet Apex]

19-4, F

Milwaukee
                           IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA 
Y. Gallardo (L, 4-2) 2.2 12 11 11 3 1 2 4.20 
C. Villanueva  0.2 3 4 3 0 1 1 4.46 
M. Wise  0.2 2 1 1 1 1 0 3.55 
M. Parra  2.0 1 1 1 1 3 0 3.06 
B. Shouse  1.0 5 2 2 0 2 0 2.60 
D. Turnbow  1.0 0 0 0 1 1 0 3.88

[Kermit]

Where's a drunk, mound-charging bond trader when you need one?

Fast Signs.

Speak of the douche, they've actually posted my "it", with proper attribution:

Stop taking crap from those stupid khaki-wearing bond traders at work - Randy (Vancouver, WA)

It's the little things that bring me joy.

I just added, "Maintain fuller, longer-lasting erections!"

[BC]

Thank goodness the Cardinals went 1-5 against Pittsburgh and Washington, otherwise they would only be two or three back and be the team with the momentum in-division. Heck, if they win tonight and the Cubs lose, they would have gone 3-6 in the last nine games and be at the same place they were at the start of that stretch... 6 GB, but only 4 back of both the Brewers and the Cubs in the loss column.

With the current suckiness in the division, I will go out on a limb to say that if any of the Cubs, Brewers and Cardinals can find a two-week hot stretch and not follow it up with terrible play, they will win the division.

[Down In Front]

Thank goodness the Cardinals went 1-5 against Pittsburgh and Washington, otherwise they would only be two or three back and be the team with the momentum in-division. Heck, if they win tonight and the Cubs lose, they would have gone 3-6 in the last nine games and be at the same place they were at the start of that stretch... 6 GB, but only 4 back of both the Brewers and the Cubs in the loss column.

With the current suckiness in the division, I will go out on a limb to say that if any of the Cubs, Brewers and Cardinals can find a two-week hot stretch and not follow it up with terrible play, they will win the division.

You just don't know when to quit, do you?

Isn't the fact that the Cards went 1-5 vs. Washington and Pittsburgh a sure sign that they're not going to compete?  Instead, you talk about it as if it’s in a vacuum.

[air2300]

Thank goodness the Cardinals went 1-5 against Pittsburgh and Washington, otherwise they would only be two or three back and be the team with the momentum in-division. Heck, if they win tonight and the Cubs lose, they would have gone 3-6 in the last nine games and be at the same place they were at the start of that stretch... 6 GB, but only 4 back of both the Brewers and the Cubs in the loss column.

With the current suckiness in the division, I will go out on a limb to say that if any of the Cubs, Brewers and Cardinals can find a two-week hot stretch and not follow it up with terrible play, they will win the division.

Yea, you are really going out on the limb.

[pisomojado8]

With the current suckiness in the division, I will go out on a limb to say that if any of the Cubs, Brewers and Cardinals can find a two-week hot stretch and not follow it up with terrible play, they will win the division.

Yea, you are really going out on the limb.

BC sure goes out on a lot of limbs.  Instead of calling him back from the ledge, we need to tell him to stop climbing trees.

[Corn-fed]

With the current suckiness in the division, I will go out on a limb to say that if any of the Cubs, Brewers and Cardinals can find a two-week hot stretch and not follow it up with terrible play, they will win the division.

Yea, you are really going out on the limb.

BC sure goes out on a lot of limbs.  Instead of calling him back from the ledge, we need to tell him to stop climbing trees.

Or hand him a saw.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

What's really great about this last week is the way the Brewers are gift-wrapping the division for our Scubbies and they treat it just like a Christmas fruitcake and send it on back. They're practically begging the Flubs to sac up and run away laughing with the division and yet still they manage to trip all over their angry 1-inch dicks. Absolutely. Fucking. Pathetic.

[CubFaninHydePark]

19-4, F

Milwaukee
                           IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA 
Y. Gallardo (L, 4-2) 2.2 12 11 11 3 1 2 4.20 
C. Villanueva  0.2 3 4 3 0 1 1 4.46 
M. Wise  0.2 2 1 1 1 1 0 3.55 
M. Parra  2.0 1 1 1 1 3 0 3.06 
B. Shouse  1.0 5 2 2 0 2 0 2.60 
D. Turnbow  1.0 0 0 0 1 1 0 3.88

11 BB for Gallardo?  Can that be right?

Don't you figure your guy doesn't have it oh, after walk 5 or 6 in the first 3 innings?  It's a good thing for the Cubs that I'm not managing Milwaukee.  Guh.